Tag: Honesty

Gospel 194 ~Love Is The Ultimate Torture~

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Things I can tell my dog and not myself *AHEM* I love you. That’s why hurting myself is nothing, but it’s all panic mode when something is wrong with him. He’s my heart, but what else is there. Money, friends, women? Love Is The Ultimate Torture

Monday, January 11, 2021

Gospel 194 ~Love Is The Ultimate Torture~

Hundred And Seventhly Rule

Madam Justice,
I AM a Billionaire right now, and while in Idiocracy, “I like money,” understand “I love money.” Of course, I afforded myself a huge nap this afternoon, and here we are. So either I love my sleep, or I’m not exactly in a lovey-dovey mood. Love hurts, sometimes… There are so many places I can take that. But as always, I’m trying to be a good boy. Speaking of which, that’s the only time I mention love these days when talking to my Dæmon. I didn’t listen to my motivations today, but my son is always my WHY.

“You Always Hurt The One You Love.” That tune is pretty dated. Now, to be honest, it’s one of the reasons I avoided Daily Wellness and motivations. Spotify is bonkers with that old school stuff blasting repeatedly. I’m supposed to speak about my firstborn, trying. Funny, this morning, I was reading again about Jeffery and his boy Galen. How he’s failing as a father, but he loves his kid and failed him. Galen never reacts being a “Block” and all but my son… I look at his furry face and the idea, this hurts me more than it hurts you…

It’s bullshit Madam Justice. I know he’s pained, playing pretend, praying. Better than most women. Okay, this is where the rubber meets blacktop SIGH. Once again, I have to stay on the up and up. I’m not in love with any particular girl at the moment. I’d be worse. The things I say when I’m attracted have nothing on what’s in my heart. Only the words “I Love You” wreck any of my wit. Better to remain silent. It’s again a reason we talk like this, Madam Justice. But my Pinterest boards are starting to regain my usually troubling flair.

My heart, though, remains in a cage. I can tell you truthfully that no, I don’t love myself. Yet, I love freedom. That’s why I keep my secrets, unlike the Trumptards going to jail. Money is still fantastic, so I haven’t been “helping out” Alice Little. Lost her court battle. Addiction pains me every day. Only I’m not spending anything on a fix, yet… Jul3DArt, Love Wolf, QOC, Ero3dLight. I wouldn’t advise looking those up. I want to love the man I’ll be, the woman I’ll have, and the Dæmons siblings. To love me now… Love Is The Ultimate Torture.

I Will Have No Fear

Gospel 193 ~List It Up, Will~

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One of the MANY motivations I listen to said that lists are a graveyard. Considering my impossible things, my resolutions, or a playlist of Whitney Houston, sure. If only I could make one of the good things about myself but no. List It Up, Will.

Sunday, January 10, 2021

Gospel 193 ~List It Up, Will~

To Will:
I AM a Billionaire right now, and you just want to be a better man. It’s like asking one of those pageant girls, would you rather be pretty or smart. Hell, you’d be a billionaire and a “Bad Man” than a “Poor” one and a great man, good, well you’re alright. Not really.

It’s not like you’ve ever been served divorce papers. Other than a few days stint in Juvie, you’ve never been convicted of anything. There’s been a parking ticket here or there. Do you remember the first? It made you go suicidal. With your father… understandable. We often talk about how you’re fucking up (pardon my French). Yep once a week. Still, it sucks to hear it from other people you know. Last night reading over the Dæmon’s vet care. I felt like such a horrible parent. It didn’t stop you from sleeping late, hmm. Understand that I don’t mean to be so down on you, so early, 6:45 AM. Are you ever again going to live by “Waking Up at 4:00 AM Every Day Will Change Your Life?” You did and then went back to sleep for 20 minutes more. Fought Addiction, Six Impossible Things:

  1. I AM Keeping It In My Pants (Day 010 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
    Completed (Day 016) No Fap
  2. I AM Always The “Father” My Dæmon Deserves
    Failed
  3. I AM Sending Gulp Off To Be Published SIGH
    Failed
  4. I AM Writing “Look A Thing Like Santa”
    Failed
  5. I AM Writing A Brand New TWD Guild Intro
    Failed
  6. I AM Finishing Reading The Island by Gary Paulsen
    Completed

I am proud of you. Already there’s a list of “stuff and thangs” you want to say. It’s like your DRUG. You don’t feel right without them, but as the song goes, “to keep me awake and alive.” Before you forget, playlist 4:00 AM, Air Tonight (Protomen), and Peter Gabriel. If it ain’t music or Netflix, it’s novels. One more reason you’re down today. At least Eric Vall kept me excited with his books, but we can’t talk about them. Now it’s “A Different Alchemy” Jeffery and his son Galen. One more thing to show your dad like failures, yep.
Only I don’t want to do that, and neither do you. Not sure if this will become the norm, but as another song goes, here comes success. You don’t even have a title. But there are some things you have done well. They should matter, New Year’s Resolutions, it’s 11.

  1. I Have Purged Pictures From My Phone (6000 to 800)
  2. I Have Taken My Son To His Vet Appointment (Okay)
  3. I Have Only Spent $100 Off My Stimulus Check Now
  4. I Have Ordered New Masks And Filters, Looking After Myself
  5. I Have Become More Organized In Certain Areas Of Life
  6. I Have Acknowledged Good

Old habits Die Hard. You’re not sure how positive I have been at the start of this New Year. I AM Speaking Positivity Into My Life is the eleventh resolution. You want to believe you’ll do better. Six Impossible Things:

  1. I AM Keeping It In My Pants (Day 016 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
  2. I AM Always The “Father” My Dæmon Deserves
  3. I AM Sending Gulp Off To Be Published SIGH
  4. I AM Writing “Look A Thing Like Santa”
  5. I AM Writing A Brand New TWD Guild Intro
  6. I AM Finishing Reading A Different Alchemy, Chris Dietzel

I hope you’ll “listen up,” but List It Up, Will.

I Will Have No Fear

Gospel 190 ~Mounting Vague Assumptions Will~

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Well, I saw some “adult situations.” But Trump ain’t much of a man. Am I? A new year and let’s just say that the Capitol got all sorts of F’s for failure and something else. At least Biden got certified, but my future. Mounting Vague Assumptions Will

Thursday, January 7, 2021

Gospel 190 ~Mounting Vague Assumptions Will~

WARNING, 18+, READER DISCRETION ADVISED

Come In Dirty Diana,
I AM a Billionaire right now, but still, I wouldn’t be getting fucked as much as the Capitol, right? I would have said something, but I spoke damn early. That’s how I am right now. Oh, the tiniest thing will get me off. Or the biggest (boobs), even the tightest, hmm.

Mounting up upon a New Year or not? Take, for example, the books I’ve been reading. I finished “The Island,” which had nothing but a kiss. Chris Dietzel’s “A Different Alchemy” won’t be a tremendous orgy. Amazon recommended “Breasteses” this morning as if worried ha. Mound in my sweatpants and everything, but I wanted to talk to you. Okay, I’m lying. If the internet was working correctly, I would be stealing Love Wolf Vids from Xvideos. The next big thing with my monster. Creatures and girls. Is that my new fetish? I mean, um, tentacles. Mouthful of wrong, Dirty Diana? I’m looking at demons and things from horror stories. I should get back to reading about Succubi. If it’s not that, I’ve been into blondes lately. Kenna James in Peeping Tom, Madison Minx in Kiss This. Forgetting Milf Dos, Cherry…

Vagrants in my Spank Bank. Of course, as the song goes, “pretty, pretty girls.” Wasn’t I crowing yesterday about finding that blonde from Pinterest? I still got no luck finding the rest of her collection. Not the time for love, but someday, a girl will give me a clean slate. “Vagabonds believe the very best,” don’t we, to sing a song. Focus on the words coming out of my lips, not the lips I want to sink my cock into. As I said, Pinterest sees it, and with all these fights around us, SIGH. Um, I said what to M. Anime last night in wanting? “Vagina” pussy, my as well scream it out as if I were Peggy Hill. One anime character I don’t want to fuck. Hell, that will keep me grounded for a few minutes more. Yes, and the thought of feet. I’ll never get that fetish ever.

Asshole, some people will call me, but I’ve heard worse. Do you want to know a secret, Dirty Diana? Never been in one, well, not my dick anyway. This month, something to shoot for if I’m keeping up with my New Year’s Resolutions these days. Already spending my stimulus surviving. Sex… MOUnting VAGue ASSumptions Will.

I Will Have No Fear

Gospel 189 ~Don’t Count On Will~

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Being a black man in America, I’m not a statistic… I got up early, six instead of ten, you can thank my furbaby for that. The stimulus came through yesterday but besides my kid, my day job, and car people where’s the money going? Don’t Count On Will.

Wednesday, January 6, 2021

Gospel 189 ~Don’t Count On Will~

Forgive Me Echo,
I AM a Billionaire right now, which must mean I hate you. Well, I don’t think that way about you, Inspector Echo, or any of the other girls. Okay, so the Man in the Mirror, but as I’ve been saying ad nauseam, it’s a New Year. I’m working on myself… I’m trying. The thing is, I’m asking myself, am I too late? If it isn’t the money, then it’s been my age these days. I’m 36, and if I were to tell you all the things I haven’t done, even this morning. As the song goes, “Time, time, time. See what’s become of me.” Money, Age, Time…

I could wrap that all around my favorite subject in the whole wide world. Well, after my Dæmon, of course. Looks like my Imp’s going to get that vet appointment anyway. Geez, right after I got my stimulus payment. Republican Idiocracy tendencies, “I Like Money.”

Okay, so my favorite subject, I swear I have missed out on so much. When it comes to… well, how do I say this and remain a nice guy? Again I support artists and, in the same breath, thieves. Even with the motherlode of “artwork,” I’ve I miss out on galleries, gathering, and grabbing up all I can. Do you remember after the last Pinterest Suspension/Purge, I was upset about a specific board I lost? I found a few pieces of it the other day but not the whole thing. I would say I find nothing more annoying but that would make me a liar. It’s like finding the perfect “movie” and not being able to download it. How about what happened to such and such a website? What about being so anxious for something and then having it snatched away with fear? Mine… hers?

“A half-read book is a half-finished love affair.’” Cloud Atlas

I feel like Nicolas Cage/Yuri Orlov; I’m always five minutes too early or five minutes late. Being black, I was taught to be early always. As for being a man, I was taught “nice guys finish last” (12 Days, fingers crossed). I’m forever a day late, a dollar short, that is if I want something. I hate being late for the Day Job. Now I love my Dæmon like pancakes, but I got out of bed not by “force of will” but because my son needed me, meds, cleaning, potty.

Hate has my number, but love… Don’t Count On Will.

I Will Have No Fear

Gospel 188 ~Such A Squeaky Will~

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The world is noisy, and that’s why I love my Dæmon so much; he’s quiet. If he does get loud barking, it’s to help or be hardheaded, but he doesn’t bark to breathe. People spend time talking to acknowledge existence. With love? Such A Squeaky Will yep

Tuesday, January 5, 2021

Gospel 188 ~Such A Squeaky Will~

Dear Future Wife,
I AM a Billionaire right now, and I like Containment. Am I already becoming so confusing at the start of this New Year? Do I mean the show, our home, how I live my life? All three? It’s why I don’t talk much. I’m a hard man to know. One for an epiphany? While I was Just Cruisin’ sometime last week, still angry at Serra Hyundai. Hell, we’re rich. Why am I even driving myself? Yes, I’m tempted to burst out into Cars by Gary Numan. Thanks for noticing. Only I’ve never been a car guy or a much for love type. The thing is Love’s Loud.

You remember that campaign “Love is Louder”? With all the noise in the world, I don’t ask for your love to compete. Okay, this brings me to my epiphany. Driving, I started thinking about when we began dating. I enjoy quiet movie nights, music, museums. Always I remain a hopeless romantic. Forever Hopelessly Devoted To You. A fool for the idea of Love At First Sight. I’m not one to kiss and tell. You know Saving All My Love for You. Geez, might as well create another playlist. Baby Girl, you make my heart sing. People talk too much, and when it came to us because Only God Knows Why, those three little words I Love You are wasted. Of the women I’ve known (GULP), I’ve only meant them four times. To my Mom, to a high school girl, a YouTube starlet, and to you.

Then I found out that love is louder. As I said to the women, I’ve known, but I tell my Dæmon I love him every day. I say it to all our kids. Me, a “Soccer Dad” well, maybe they’ll stick to quieter pursuits. Either way, I’m down. The pitter-patter of tiny feet all over. Those Saturdays, where we can lie together and listen to my “Nuclear” playlist. It seems more prudent than ever. Oh, and why did I have to soundproof our room again? Ellie Goulding’s Love Me Like You Do is all I’ll say. I’m trying to not make you get loud now. Then yeah, I always told myself I had to marry a woman that was a singer. A chef because kids are always spoiling appetites. The Dæmon is looking at his full bowl SIGH. But butterflies.

Telling you baby, I love you, Such A Squeaky Will.

I Will Have No Fear

Gospel 187 ~Panic Does Not Serve You~

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The first Monday of the new year. Same job, redundant emotions. And with my “Republican Tendencies” leftover feelings of hate for humankind. It took me a while to calm down after my cray day. Good thing I started this Sunday. Panic Does Not Serve You

Monday, January 04, 2021

Gospel 187 ~Panic Does Not Serve You~

Hundred And Sixty-Ninth Rule

Madam Justice,
I AM a Billionaire right now, and in other things, I wish I knew. How about being scared to death. I’m terrified, now seeing how I’m coming on or off (with time) another lousy shift. It’s still Sunday, but speaking to Lady Lu, I wanted to take my son to the vet. As I told the Man in the Mirror, it was a night of puppy cries and puke in my bed. He’s had some good hours, no vomit, no cries. Making up for lost time. It seems Madam Justice this year has started off with confessions and another. I saved some money.

Do you remember when I was pissed at Serra Hyundai about wanting another $500? Hell, I still am, but as I was driving away after saying no, I was frightened. Spent the whole ride listening to “Sixteen Tons,” “Working in a Coal Mine,” and “We Will Go Home” for real. Speaking of which, the “Song of Exile.”It’s at the forefront of my mind whenever I head to the Day Job. I carry a plastic bag and a Sprite in my backpack. Yes, I might puke when I get out of the car to start the day. Even now, I’m shaking knowing the coming week. Right this second, I panicked when a friend was a bit upset with me about my views on Trump. I know Madam Justice, it didn’t take long, and here we are, day three or four into the brand New Year SIGH.

Speaking of “Republican Tendencies,” why is it again that I feel that money will solve my problems. Because I would be “Takin’ Care of Business.” I hear my first playlist this year. It doesn’t change the fact with the right amount of money, well who knows, hmm. I do. Last night while fighting addiction, I thought, would “Capital A” forgive me for wanting? Well, what a boy wants. With enough, I would make Target, Serra Hyundai, and the “Day Job” AHEM “quake with fear” or panic. Maybe funding other businesses. How about my panic? What’s the cure there? Again something I can’s share and can’t do anymore but twenty minutes, where am I, in bed. There’s also my Anger and Rage. Please don’t make me quote Yoda. Nowadays, I’m focused on how old I am.

Time is on my side, well no, so yeah, yikes… Panic Does Not Serve You.

I Will Have No Fear

Gospel 186 ~The “Man” Goal Will~

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What makes a monster and what makes a man? If anything, I’m a little of both, but I’m glad I could give off the damn mattress and not just because my kid was puking all night but seems to be recovering… The “Man” Goal Will, to be a good one, someday.

Sunday, January 3, 2021

Gospel 186 ~The “Man” Goal Will~

To Will:
I AM a Billionaire right now, and apparently, the cash covers up a lot of secrets. Hell, I’ve lived in fear of all mine, and you will without question. Welcome to the New Year, man. One more reason to say “Another Day.” Okay, this is more Echo’s Wheelhouse. Want to know a secret, that isn’t really. It’s not like you’ll even share all of yourself with Inspector Echo either. That’s one more thing that necessitates having a billion dollars. You can’t afford to let your “freak flag fly,” as They say. But secrets.

Your “existence” is an open book between everything with social media but to clue you in. Into The Badlands, Conan (original movies, Barbarian 1982 and Destroyer 1984). Women’s boots (Indiana Gone), Pinterest, and Dead Like Me 02×04 The Shallow End. Again you are attempting to listen to more black men that aren’t your old man. There’s Chris Rock (Food, Sex, Silence). Usher (Ladies, Food, Sports, And Music), Morris Chestnut (God, Family, Football). Uh, you’re defining needs and concepts. Confusing, you know. Well, you still remember as you’re speaking. The idea of Will’s Writings, Witticisms, and Wisdom comes from Karen Marie Moning’s novel. Featuring Barron’s Books and Baubles or Mckayla’s Manuscripts and Miscellany. Six Impossible Things:

  1. I AM Keeping It In My Pants (Day 002 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
    Completed (Day 010) No Fap
  2. I AM Always The “Father” My Dæmon Deserves
    Failed
  3. I AM Sending Gulp Off To Be Published SIGH
    Failed
  4. I AM Writing “Look A Thing Like Santa”
    Failed
  5. I AM Writing A New TWD Guild Intro
    Failed
  6. I AM Finishing Reading The Christmas Wife by Elizabeth Kelly
    Completed

Are you ever going to get to the secret that’s not a secret? Hell, look at how you’re starting the new year. Head brimming with shows to watch, books to read, and GASPS write. Containment, The Purge, Snowpiercer. The Great De-evolution: The Complete Collection, Fever Series. Also, there was a Christmas book you missed but too late now. Finally, you want to start writing robots; it worked for A.J. Markam? Amazing what you imagine cuddling a sick furbaby, (yes furbaby). My little Dæmon whose recovering… This now brings us back to the point. What, failing at this list in the new year? Yes, I’ll list the resolutions again. They didn’t change but Conan what is best in life. No, what about Eddie Murphy. No, you and these Six Impossible Things:

  1. I AM Keeping It In My Pants (Day 010 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
  2. I AM Always The “Father” My Dæmon Deserves
  3. I AM Sending Gulp Off To Be Published SIGH
  4. I AM Writing “Look A Thing Like Santa”
  5. I AM Writing A Brand New TWD Guild Intro
  6. I AM Finishing Reading The Island by Gary Paulsen

SIGH if anything, you want to agree with Robin Williams in Hook. You want to be a Daddy. You’re thirty-six. Let that reverberate in your mental facilities. Your boy needed you, and there was nothing you could do. Now he’s resting after a night’s worth of puke and crying away.

  1. I AM Seeing My Dæmon Through Another Year
  2. I AM Writing A New York Times Bestseller
  3. I AM Making One Million Dollars
  4. I AM Writing 400 Words Everyday (Goal 120,000)
  5. I AM Visiting The Moonlite Bunny Ranch
  6. I AM Beginning To Make Investments
  7. I AM Producing An Adult Film For Sale
  8. I AM Participating In NaNoWriMo
  9. I AM In A Relationship or Sleeping With A Girl At Least Once A Month
  10. I AM Becoming Free Of Parental Oversight (Rockford, Grandma, The Car, etc.)
  11. I AM Speaking Positivity Into My Life
  12. I AM Starting Work On Life Goals “Episode 345 ~You Got Will’s Number~.”
  13. I AM Fearless Now

A Man Provides but caring more, The “Man” Goal Will.

I Will Have No Fear

Gospel 183 ~Bang And A W…~

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Some people want life to be a musical or rock opera, maybe a rom-com. Personally, I want mine to be a video game or a porno. It’s been “Cyberpunk 2077” but not on the PS5, if you know what I mean. Bang And A W… hopefully next year

Thursday, December 31, 2020

Gospel 183 ~Bang And A W…~

WARNING, 18+, READER DISCRETION ADVISED

Come In Dirty Diana,
I AM a Billionaire right now, and a fucking dominant. Yeah, I mean that as both nature and action. Now I like being in control. That’s why I learn all I can. Also, much like Ariela Ramera in “Dirty Latina Maids” (a personal fave), “I Love To Fuck.” Um, this year… As I confessed yesterday, I haven’t had sex at all this year. I’m feeling like Jamie from Claire Thompson’s “No Safeword.” There hasn’t been anything sexy, and yet everyone got fucked. Damn, I’ve had my cock in my hand much too often. New Year’s Resolutions?

Of those, I made last year “Log 188 ~Bold, Willing, And Able~” which was 13 total. I accomplished three, giving me a year’s score of 27.9% out of 120%. Oh, if that ain’t an F. Christian Grey said that he fucks hard. What can I say? Today deserves better, Diana. Only should I give you my Fuck-It List in one way or another. Dear Dirty Diana, if I told you every sexual act I wanted to commit, we might never leave. It would be worse if I told you everything I don’t want to do in life. Look at my Pinterest boards, oh yeah, locked. Much like Dennis Hof, I wouldn’t stop until I was in the ground, but at least today, I’ll give you the rundown. Um, at least three of my Resolutions were all about my dick. That’s surprising. Seeing how I still like the song Thirteen Women (And Only One Man In Town), they’ll be Thirteen goals.

  1. I AM Visiting The Moonlite Bunny Ranch
  2. I AM Taking A Tour Of Several Brothels
  3. I AM Producing An Adult Film For Sale
  4. I AM In A Relationship or Sleeping With A Girl At Least Once A Month
  5. I AM Having Sex In A Public Space
  6. I AM Having Sex With Sisters, Separate And Together
  7. I AM Participating In An Orgy
  8. I AM Adding A Movie On An Adult Site
  9. I AM Purchasing A Sex Doll
  10. I AM Selling An Erotic Novel
  11. I AM Having Sex While Busy, (Blow Job Under The Table, Driving, Sex In A Closet)
  12. I AM Trying One Of My Soft Limits
  13. ???

Yet today, as the year ends, I’m trying to keep it in my pants… But no Bang And A W…

I Will Have No Fear

Gospel 182 ~Humiliation’s A Number Will~

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One day I swear I’m going to sit in a room and type all day, pocket my cash, and send an army of mercs to silence anybody sending me spam… well, that got dark pretty quickly. “Humiliation’s A Number Will,” and next year I want it to be zero

Wednesday, December 30, 2020

Gospel 182 ~Humiliation’s A Number Will~

Forgive Me Echo,
I AM a Billionaire right now, so um, I still hate Math? Considering I’ve taken no sick days or vacation days. There’s the concept of dinner around here, becoming a big event. I have a yearly eye exam, which is the extent of my medical care. Yep, I still hate my teeth. Okay, say it with me, “This Is America,” how about I am a “Real American.” You’ll have to excuse me, Inspector Echo. The Stimulus Talk and my usual complaints, numbers have been on my brain. With enough cash, humiliation doesn’t matter, enough not to count.

Let’s start with me and My Dæmon. I’m 36, goddammit, my son’s 15. Now I’m trying to stay clean, Inspector Echo when I talk to you, but I’ll put the question out there. When’s the last time I’ve had sex? Meanwhile is the Dæmon living the life, meds, food, yes… However, he could have more, but where’s the money going? Let’s say I’m “supporting” three artists. Depends on how you define art. I can’t tell you how much I’ve spent on the random “expressions.” Or how about the money that went towards “Capital A” SIGH. Well, make more money, you say; how long have I been at the Day Job? Nine years, Inspector, taking orders. And each and every day there, I’m either depressed, destructive or damned. What about all the money I paid to not publish a book now?

I mentioned Capital A, but how many women have stopped talking to me this year alone? I’m going to say three, but even that’s a shot in the dark. Better to keep my mouth shut, but tomorrow, of course, is The Closing of the Year. Pop Culture is much served. While fighting off my addictions. You know within Six Impossible Things, “5 Days” so far. Doing everything to keep my mind occupied, and you see how that’s going. Remember, I had to wipe my phone of such and such, still leaving six thousand pictures altogether. Again I think about writing three NaNoWriMos between two camps and November. Four hundred words daily for the year is around 146,000 or nearly three NaNoWriMos. Not one dollar earned doing what I love still.

Before I forget, two Pinterest accounts are gone. Another “explicit” account wrecked. More sugar daddy/momma accounts blocked between Whisper and Goodreads. Big numbers Inspector Echo still Humiliation’s A Number Will.

I Will Have No Fear

Gospel 181 ~A Happy New Will~

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I have no clue what I would want once I found love, well to protect that love, of course, but once I have Jeff Bezos’s bank account and a woman to share it with, and 5.5 kids would I be HAPPY? A Happy New Will, can’t I just be happy now, a long story

Tuesday, December 29, 2020

Gospel 181 ~A Happy New Will~

Dear Future Wife,
I AM a Billionaire right now, but that doesn’t make me a great man or a good one. Most days, I would settle for alright. Remind me, when I’m done with “Into The Badlands” to watch “Firefly” again if you got that reference. Today though, I’ve been thinking about “Equilibrium.” I mean, I hate fireworks, the Dæmon and I both. I don’t drink much; ask my BFF about that. Staying up till midnight is usual for me, so no coffee required, eww.

Complaining and lies are habits I should leave in 2020, right? There are fireworks between the two of us, ha-ha. When we take the kids, minus the Dæmon, to see them at Disney World (ahem) Tradition!!! That will be one of those times I’ll have to be just Dad, hmm? Maybe the two of us can dance beneath the sky to a little “Drunk On You,” which is all I’ll ever be. I think it’s rather strange that I want to be a stand-up guy, a superhero. Yeah, and a million other things, and yet I get weak in the knees, butterflies with you even now. Staying awake is no longer a problem when I’m living my dreams, you know. I also don’t intend on sleeping even after midnight, if you know what I’m saying. Yes, the kids are still around, so keeping it clean.

Anyway, you know how I am with being HAPPY, forever, and always. I’m glad, I’m satisfied, hell I even talked about being good. Geez, many years ago, it was always another day. One more year, one more day didn’t make a difference “Endure and Survive.” However, here we are at “The Closing of The Year.” Should I cool it with the music and movie musings? You tell me I better not, right? So how will I be a better man than the one that I am at the moment? I’m the man that is currently planning my first book of the new year. What will be my first song? Of course, there are some things I want to remain. Kissing You, not that I keep track, but there’s always room for one more kiss. A night in your arms. We’re counting how many kids already?

Looks like I’m entering the new year as confusing as ever, but happy is different. Happy is good, happy works okay, A Happy New Will.

I Will Have No Fear