Tag: Honesty

Episode 025 ~Go To Hell Will~

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Not as “Hot, Hot, Hot,” as I wanted it to be, but Hell can be a confusing place as they say Hell freezes over and Dante decided to take a tour of the area, and video game Dante *sigh* what women get men into right? Go To Hell Will

Thursday, July 26, 2018

Episode 025 ~Go To Hell Will~

WARNING, 18+, READER DISCRETION ADVISED

Come In Dirty Diana,
Give Me One Reason to come up with a more original title; it’s not as familiar as I like and it certainly beats “skeevy,” and I can already hear you groaning here we go but aren’t thoughts of the Bitch another level of Hell? In truth, though as I’ve said before Hell can be a cold place so why is it the way becomes lit by fire the whole path there, and then we all end up getting burned and how do we nurse ourselves again?

“Some women can’t handle the fire. Some can.” Bruce Almighty

Tonight though I don’t want to talk about being alone, instead let’s focus on all of the reasons I’m going to get burned the first being I’m quite shallow, or some would say thirsty. Okay so I’m trying to be less self-deprecating, I’m still on a motivational kick these days, and with what I usually think about myself, I Still Believe there isn’t a body issue to be had. However, admiring a woman’s body is enough to end some, and I can only call someone beautiful for so long and yes there is something to be said for subtlety but fuck me is the ultimate goal when it comes to men and women but sensitive.

Now while I ’m never that crass, I compared the Bitch to a Brazzers pornstar; let’s say I have a woman in bed and one of the first things I learned as a Dominant is you never do so out of anger, Christian Grey was mad at his mother, rage has no place. It’s one of the reasons I enjoy sex so much; think The Screwfly Solution and for the record I’ve never harmed a woman, I hit my sister but I was a child, I was fighting girls when I was in the third grade; anyway sex gets me hot and doesn’t that trump anger? I’ve even talked about this before, how I’m more inclined to cover girls up in pretty outfits or at least in silk and lace binds or their underwear and anything else I would do?

One has to wonder since the Bible does talk about sex is there some method of “making love” that is specifically designed to keep one out of Hell and don’t say marriage because even if I were happily married, I would burn for my wife. Nowadays though my heart is frozen and below the belt, a cold shower might help, but no, I let freezing memories wash over me because well Go To Hell Will.

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 024 ~Sack Up For Life~

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Please, don’t let this be an ending of my motivation; I swear I can give more, I know it doesn’t look like much of a sack, my computer, my words, my life, and where the hell did my balls go? “Sack Up For Life.”

Wednesday, July 25, 2018

Episode 024 ~Sack Up For Life~

Forgive Me Echo,
Give Me One Reason that my life should end up in a bag if anything I suppose it beats a box and I’m still Alive but what exactly am I living for when everything I am can fit in a sack. I’ve heard girls talk about their whole life is in their purse and not that I’m trying to be offensive against women… oh no not me though that brings to mind a whole other sack full of life I’m keeping full.

Unlike the sacks of potato chips and sandwiches I’ve subsisted off of the past few days, food is food, but again I ask the question as to why other than not actively trying to kill myself these days. Well, I am still getting up an hour early for these chats nowadays, I would say I’m standing up for myself at work while sitting down, yeah I might get fired any day now and if it isn’t my boss, where do I say my courage comes from again? Must I go all Yoda with the Fear and Anger but I feel my courage accompanies my rage and those that enrage me so, well I wouldn’t look like much of a man.

Why can’t I sack up when it counts Inspector Echo, I was supposed to go to the library today, but from the look of the time that’s not happening, I can’t grow a pair when it comes to my damn name and of course both of these attribute to not buying lunch today. Why not, because I don’t feel like I deserve it and that’s true, when I start making money when I prove that I can do something, anything, all I did today besides working the day job is hit the sack. As you can attest there are so many to choose from and as they say, think outside the box, I need to think outside the bag but again my whole life is in there except my dog, and he’s my reason, my why I should be doing anything, so why aren’t I?

When most people pack a bag it’s for a few days, but when I do it well I don’t expect to survive, I plan on getting sick, something happening to the car, that I’ll forget something that is crucial. May you forgive me Inspector Echo for choosing to live inside a bag than die in a box, for being offensive yet again and still not having any balls, for filling up everything but myself as I give everything else, I must Sack Up For Life.

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 023 ~Warmth, Who Is It~

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From blanket to babe, then again neither one of them comes when called, and you can get heated blankets, I wonder if any woman had the hots for me to be sure but as the song goes, I don’t ask for much these days. Warmth, Who Is It

Tuesday, July 24, 2018

Episode 023 ~Warmth, Who Is It~

Dear Future Wife,
Give Me One Reason to stay warm, and the simplest would be Baby, It’s Cold Outside and how can that be, it’s not Christmas in July, people usually burn me, and I’ll make sure we’re someplace it’s always warm, I’m not one for Winter or that other season. *Shudders* yet when I gave you my hoody did I have any reason to believe I would never see it again, well I do all the time on you so knowing you’re warm and how hot it makes you look and it’s not like you don’t share it, I feel it when we’re together.

That thought alone warms me, you know they say it takes more muscles to frown than to smile so maybe that’s why I need to do it more often, to feel that burn, the blush on my face though no one ever sees mine, you do it for the both of us. Speaking of things I do for the both of us, I Want To Hold Your Hand you know I’m not one for gloves, and you’ll do pretty much anything to keep me from changing my playlist on the phone. You become my sunshine on my darkest days, yes I know the words My Girl but making you mad at me might be a little too hot if there is ever such a thing.

Of course, you’ve had my cooking, and I’m always looking for the right spice, the secret is ghost pepper sauce, and I’m also trying not to burn the house down while I’m at it of course. So maybe we should stay in bed, some memories, traditions, the Fire And Desire, though I’m still one for Nuclear Pop around the late 30’s to the 50’s and if we’re not listening to music we can lie here and read my latest novel, all about fire. Still, if life insists that I get up, the hottest shower, the cuddliest pup (apologies to my dog) the best cup of hot chocolate, or best alcohol as if I know, doesn’t have anything on your warmth.

Like Linus and his security blanket I grew up and There Goes My Baby, as constant as the sun, so maybe you’ll forgive me for being so thirsty for you and wanting to give you the world. They ask War, what is it good for and you know the answer honestly, absolutely nothing but you my love are everything and the purest definition I know for Warmth, Who Is It.

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 022 ~Things Could Always Be Worse~

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Things are getting better; things are getting better every day. Today wasn’t so bad, but I worry and why; when awful is the norm, but you see the light where the darkness ends it’s the sun, stars for wishes, a train. “Things Could Always Be Worse.”

Monday, July 23, 2018

Episode 022 ~Things Could Always Be Worse~

Forty-Second Rule Madam Justice

Give Me One Reason things could always be worse, from fighting so hard to have a voice and then not liking what you have to say, to deciding you’re going to stand up but having nothing to stand for, from getting up early and not accomplishing anything. I don’t mean with us Madam Justice; I could be enjoying an extra hour of sleep seeing as how the day job awaits but I’d Rather Be With You, do you feel special?

I could be worrying about a million things, but I’m here now, and the world doesn’t feel like it’s falling apart, last night, for example, was worse, customers, the bastard I work for, other employees, I can honestly appreciate changing one mind more than several. According to all of those motivational speeches, you have to believe that the future will be better than the past which I find accurate, so how about my concept that the world will end in the next five minutes, to think an apocalypse is better than now? How about the fact that I have no clue what the day job will bring, good thing I’m talking to you now because who knows the state I will come back in, Angry, Bothered, Confused, A, B, C.

I heard in a movie once that things are getting better every day, a simple idea but again motivational speaking, don’t say failure but “success in progress” instead of things getting worse hold on to what’s getting better. Start each day feeling grateful, and I am, I was able to eat a muffin and drink some water, my version of breakfast but it beats going in empty, we might finish this chat, and I get tomorrow off, meaning time to write. The sad thing is I’m still not sure even at this point would I count dead as worse, but there is plenty I want and considering I’m still Alive there’s time to want everything living or want nothing dying, that is a fair question.

Rule Forty-Two is all about being grateful to the moment knowing that things at least in my life find a way of crashing down so enjoy now but don’t be like Angel and gain that moment of perfect happiness because what happens then? At least it means I haven’t sold my soul to Satan yet… or my “father” didn’t destroy it all because we know Things Could Always Be Worse.

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 021 ~Far Cry From Human~

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Why do I dream of dystopias and apocalypses, when every day it feels as though the world is ending and every week that I survive I start again only hoping to be better if at all possible but I Am me. “Far Cry From Human”

Sunday, July 15, 2018

Episode 021 ~Far Cry From Human~

To Will:
Give Me One Reason not to panic, because starting today it’s your turn and I’m all panicked out from yesterday, hell remember years ago at Target, that guy almost broke apart on the spot, and it could have been worse. Yes, the jobs can always be worse; Target was a few months, the next post he never went back after one day, the following, fired after three and what do we have now?

I digress, you might tell Inspector Echo all about it, but yesterday I was so sick thinking about what I would have to do that I nearly called out and I ended up putting tags on shoes, but I would like to think all the “motivation” I listened to is why you’re up. You do what you have to do until you can do what you want and like we tell the dog daily “make good decisions,” and the ball is in your court now and there was a time “Omni” wasn’t that bad. Today s brand new and there is always room to approve, I might have fucked it up some but can we Accentuate The Positive and yes you want “Fallout 4” and “Fallout 76” amongst other things, but you’ll have to do better than these Six Impossible Things and me:

1. I Will Keep It In My Pants (Day 001 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
Failed, (Day 001 Again)
2. I Will Be The “Father” My Dog Deserves
Failed, Yard Needs Cutting, Missing Treats, Bath Time
3. I Will Tell Off “Zibby” If She Calls Me Out My Name (Liberal Arts)
Failed, (Have You Seen Her)
4. I Will Not Get Fired
Completed
5. I Will Post A Review For “The First Purge”
Completed
6. I Will Complete “Apocalypse Rush” (50,000 Words)
Completed

50% *sigh* but I completed the novel, and now you have to carry the torch, and no I don’t mean to burn it… you didn’t make the bed this morning but think of everything you have accomplished; you ate healthy to a degree, the dog’s gotten fresh air, his paper changed, etc. If you can handle the small things sooner or later you’ll make it to the big ones and yet you have to dive into the deep end to become a success is what they say. You feel like you’re not making an impact I know and yesterday despite having a good day minus the sickness I was still a coward, but this is your show, Six Impossible Things:

1. I Will Keep It In My Pants (Day 001 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
2. I Will Be The “Father” My Dog Deserves
3. I Will Tell Off “Zibby” If She Calls Me Out My Name (Liberal Arts)
4. I Will Not Get Fired
5. I Will Post A Review For “Legacy of Succession” Anna Edwards
6. I Will Add 1,500 Words To “Apocalypse Rush” (54,000 Words)

The only one of those things beyond your control is Zibby, and here I was about to tell you not to worry, but you will so don’t worry about her, instead worry about where you’re going to put all your new games, giving your son his best life, and keeping yourself awake. This Is Your Life because I Am gone, and I want you to say I Am the proud owner of “Far Cry 5,” “Detroit: Become Human,” “Fallout 4” and more, I Am the father of a happy dog, I Am better than I was yesterday, Will you are a Far Cry From Human.

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 018 ~Do You Lust Me~

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I always feel like, somebody’s watching me as the song goes and I wonder what they’re doing because I doubt it’s anything sexy and even if they loved me, would they admit to something like this? Do You Lust me?

Thursday, July 19, 2018

Episode 018 ~Do You Lust Me~

WARNING, 18+, READER DISCRETION ADVISED

Come In Dirty Diana,
Give Me One Reason to be a sex symbol other than the entire world going blind; how I’ve found myself in the mirror plenty for a couple of days and Saturday all I can see is fear, and it’s cuter than me, dammit. When I was a teenager there was this girl that sat with me at lunch, we rarely talked, and I can’t say I was attracted to her in the slightest, but my ‘father” asks how did I know how she sees me and yeah I don’t know honestly.

I’ve known maybe one girl in two years possibly who openly told me that she wanted to fuck me and you want to know how does it feel for me to hear that, honestly they should bottle such an emotion. On the other hand, I honestly need to know when to shut the fuck up, playing games with another girl, and I got her and her giggly friend to look me up on Facebook, and that’s all she wrote there. Let’s call her Zibby to my Jesse, the same girl that got me going but no I haven’t told her off yet Dirty Diana, that’s one fear I haven’t had to face as of yet, and the thing is what if I’m still 100% clueless?

Lost Without U, I’ve said some stupid things to girls to be quite honest, and we still remember the bitch who I haven’t looked up at all this year; I’ve never tracked people down, or hidden in dumpsters. Okay this is more of a conversation for Inspector Echo, and I’ve probably already had it, and with you too, the desire to have some girl go all “Taylor Townsend” on my ass, You Don’t Know My Name, I’d even take Amber from “Kill Theory.” A dominant I am but to have the girl chase the monster and then when she finally finds me, we’ll see how badly she wants to play, but that Dirty Diana is a dream, however with my book… who knows, could happen.

One woman looked me up on Whisper and as soon as she saw my face; it’s hard to have body issues when people never get past the mask, and yeah women have some problems with men but if some woman came after me? Not in a psychotic, I want to kill you sort of way, more like U Got It Bad, how North looks at Markus (thank you Detroit: Become Human) way *sigh* asking the obvious, Do You Lust Me.

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 017 ~Fires of Mt. Motivation~

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If I were asked this moment what inspired a year’s worth of writing, nearly four books, buying space for a blog, fighting like Hell to keep it and more, find a person that makes your blood boil and then get it out of you. Fires of Mt. Motivation

Wednesday, July 18, 2018

Episode 017 ~Fires of Mt. Motivation~

Forgive Me Echo,
Give me one reason other than fear; I have believed for the longest time that if fear is all you have to get someone to see your point of view, then you don’t have much to offer; the fires of Hell won’t scare me into the light of Heaven. Now I’ve been all about flames and the Devil these days, but no one has given me any reason why I should want to go to Heaven when my idea of paradise is what’s going to get me into Hell without a doubt.

What’s “interesting” (how I hate that word) is the fact that the concept of FEAR is cold; one more reason why I’m always in my hoodies, and it’s Summertime, honestly do you know how long it took me to show up in my trunks at the pool? When I was learning how to swim, and I never did, all I remember is the cold and at the same time when I wasn’t afraid I couldn’t get enough of the water, the pool, the lake, I’m not going back to my brief stint in the Navy. Where’s the motivation then, is it merely my desire to escape the cold, you know the ninth circle of Hell is that of Treachery and these past few days, despite waking up an hour early, writing, coming to the library I feel, “success in progress.”

Okay, more to the point FAILURE like last night and this afternoon so what drove me to come out today; first and foremost, my desire, talk about setting your feet to the fire whether it be for material possession, the fact that I looked up the word “Quadrillion.” Finishing my latest novel, and as always women, which leads me to humiliation, that sort of heat puts fire in my fingertips, and still, I bury myself in blankets and Puppy Love but haven’t I said once where my courage comes into play. Anger, that’s what I feel when I’m at work, and I’m thinking I should be writing, how about when I woke up this afternoon, and I was pissed because it was one, and I finished that Spotify Motivational playlist.

Still, I couldn’t get here sooner, I’m motivated, don’t get me wrong, tomorrow I’ll wake up and write seven hundred words, I’ll come to the library, and I will write another five thousand words. So why do I need forgiveness, forgive me for learning how to accept the cold, for not yet trying hard enough to escape it, for all my hellish desires, my fear of humiliation, the anger I have, Fires of Mt. Motivation.

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 016 ~Sorry To Bother You~

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I’m not one for a good pick up line and who knows how her life is going and as the song goes “you make me better” and is that selfish of me, I only want to do the same for her but how will I do that. Sorry To Bother You.

Tuesday, July 17, 2018

Episode 016 ~Sorry To Bother You~

Dear Future Wife,
Give Me One Reason to, well I’m a man, and you’re a woman, seems to me that’s what men are meant to do and how I can picture all the men that might have annoyed you, irritated, or maybe you were downright vexed, but I’m the one you said yes to. Forever and a day, Good Luck because while I don’t believe I snore, you more than anyone will learn how hard I work not to be a bother and you’re Cleopatra, Joan of Arc or Aphrodite?

Yeah, I’m sure, we’ve had this conversation before, I’m not one of those men addicted to his phone, I wouldn’t be so lazy, but I’m going to quote the hell out of movies, shows, music, and authors. I’m going to take so many pictures, so I can give you those Thousand Words that you deserve, and if I have a full-time fan, well you’re already well read, and I’ll Be the greatest fan of your life… would I honestly put that in wedding vows? Singing in the shower lets the dog know I’m safe while he sits outside but I don’t want to wake you since I usually get up early to write, and How Do You Talk To An Angel, big coffee drinker perhaps?

That right there is probably my most annoying habit, not the fact that I don’t drink coffee, I know where Starbucks is, but I am going to ask you are you okay, I’m going to worry, I’ll want to know if there is anything you need; half of that our love life and the other… *ahem* LOVE life. Sometimes I’ll wonder why you aren’t off saving the world, and when you’re reading a book, that’s a sacred time to the both of us, and when this world gets to be too much, I rather we be together but you know I’m about space myself a bit. You might feel it yourself, whenever I’m writing, maybe the dog is reclaiming his place with me, and especially when I’m wearing headphones, turning the world off just saying.

I want you to understand though, no matter what Baby You’re My Light and I don’t mean for only one song, a bad day, and that’s why I guess I get scared because I don’t wish to be one of your problems; I want you always to feel beautiful, to be the one you turn to. Anything to Make You Feel My Love and I’m sorry if I haven’t but like the first day we met, Sorry To Bother You.

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 015 ~Inspiration Doesn’t Need A Map~

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Finding inspiration, yeah I pretty much burned the boats and took a walk into the jungle and should I survive, it means staying awake, and that involves some creativity too, but Spotify is helping. “Inspiration Doesn’t Need A Map”

Monday, July 16, 2018

Episode 015 ~Inspiration Doesn’t Need A Map~

Forty-First Rule Madam Justice

Give Me One Reason it doesn’t, but it would help for damn sure especially these days, I’m looking at nine thousand more words, I’m taking static from people about the rules, and staying awake is getting harder. There were days when all I needed was to sit by the lake, feet in the water and wait to be hit by something, how about when there was a pretty girl… yeah ain’t that creepy, and I’ll be the first one to admit technology makes us lazy.

Nowadays I’m less inspiration and more motivation, but if you need to know what started me down this way, it would have to be listening to a speech on Spotify like I was telling “Indiana Gone” the other day, I suppose Spotify knows inspiration by my musical selections. However for most men if you want to know what motivates them, it’s in their pants and the same can be said of women or more to the point in a man’s genes and that’s why nice guys finish last. No, I’m not being bitter, raised a gentleman, but indeed I’m a Bad Man Madam Justice sadly.

I don’t like to think I’m one to be influenced by what I take in but you can take a look at my novel and see which direction I’m going in, and what is I said about the rules on Whisper. Someone’s upset that I used a quote from Mockingjay, *sigh* it didn’t stop me from being one to Bless them and tell them to Get It Now “I Will Not Stop,” how easy inspiration comes from anger amongst other things. If you can’t deal with me quoting movies, songs, books and everything else on a daily basis then we probably can’t be friends, I Can’t Go For That no.

Still, here we are Madam Justice and what inspired me to be here, and you know the answer to that, and no you’re not going to hear Elsa; only because I can do better Let It Go… Let Her Go, and I have, I swear, please believe me. So with that being the case where does Inspiration lead me, to the bank hopefully, to the bookshelves of some bookstore, to my future and am I lost, I don’t think I am, story wise though possibly…

Follow your heart is something I’ve heard a lot of lately and honestly I wouldn’t be here if there wasn’t something, there, of course, it could be a Black Hole but if I don’t drop dead from lack of sleep I’m Will, There’s A Way, Inspiration Doesn’t Need A Map.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ix8s_TUYVW8

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 014 ~Privacy Concerns Of Pride~

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Pride is energizing while humiliation is exhausting and I got more than a dose staring into all of those mirrors today or was it the panic attack; I haven’t known such fear since watching “stuff,” on my “father’s” computer. Privacy Concerns Of Pride.

Sunday, July 15, 2018

Episode 014 ~Privacy Concerns Of Pride~

To Will:
Give Me One Reason to feel PRIDE, and I have 38,990 words for it, I put my mind to it, and though I was a tiny bit late with each day I didn’t give up, I didn’t ever give up, but Saturday honestly sucked. How’s the start of your week, last week it was all about names and you couldn’t remember one girl’s name standing right in front of you, how about the Panic Attack you had reading about your responsibilities and bravo changing your schedule and leaving it on your boss’s desk.

I don’t mean to be such a dick and speaking of which today you have to do something about yours; over one hundred days made you hungry, a hunter, hardcore, and you toss it all away on some mom’s mammaries? Too Much Information TMI as the kids say but the thing is what I’m most proud of I believe is crap but I got it done even if nobody sees it but that’s what we do every day. The stuff you did today was all failures, “success in progress” and even if nobody sees this the fact has you put it out there for you, in hopes that you can be better like Six Impossible Things:

1. I Will Keep It In My Pants (Day 001 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
Failed (Day 001)
2. I Will Be The “Father” My Dog Deserves
Failed, Yard Needs Cutting, Punishments, Bath Time
3. I Will Visit The Library The Entire Week
Completed
4. I Will Complete 50% Of “Legacy of Succession” by Anna Edwards
Completed
5. I Will Post A Review For “The First Purge”
Failed
6. I Will Write For “Apocalypse Rush” Nine Thousand Words Minimum
(Total 24,400) Completed (38,990)

Knocks me down a peg or two, fifty percent is an F if I’ve ever seen one and at this rate 99 1/2 won’t do; you have to head straight to the top, you are not meant to be live like this, and it’s time, to be honest. Funny how humiliating it was to barge into other people’s business today, housekeeping and all, I remember how sick I was using the bathroom there, but the point has you put yourself out there all the time, your hopes, dreams, and beliefs. How about women, how much time do you have for that, if you can put one in her place that will be enough for this week, well no, in fact, I expect more from you as always Six Impossible Things:

1. I Will Keep It In My Pants (Day 001 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
2. I Will Be The “Father” My Dog Deserves
3. I Will Tell Off “Zibby” If She Calls Me Out My Name (Liberal Arts)
4. I Will Not Get Fired
5. I Will Post A Review For “The First Purge”
6. I Will Complete “Apocalypse Rush” (50,000 Words)

I am proud of you Will that you survived today despite everything, you many consider today an act of cowardice, and I’m always saying have no fear, and you continue to believe it. As the song goes, “it seems to me that maybe, it pretty much all ways means no” and if your boss doesn’t hear so good well yell out as you did today, “Housekeeping” because it’s time you did that in your life despite Privacy Concerns Of Pride.

Do Your Worse Because I’m The Man Or I Hope…

I Will Have No Fear