Tag: Marquis de Joker

Episode 301 ~Will Fight For Titles~

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All I do is win when it comes to “Camp NaNoWriMo” and the only time I start buying new clothes with their emblem, my idea of a championship belt but when my wallet fat and my son has a diamond water bowl will I be the champion. Will Fight For Titles.

Sunday, April 28, 2019

Episode 301 ~Will Fight For Titles~

To Will:
I AM a Millionaire right now, that’s the title you believe in with all your heart. That you’re a millionaire, you’re also a father to a fourteen-year-old furbaby. You’re a winner of Camp NaNoWriMo 2019, and recovering from addiction, lots of other things.

Today was touch and go I know it, writing an orgy scene. You found all those videos of Mariah Mallard a.k.a. Momokun. We can also talk about worse. Still, as always, positive vibes, happy days. Note you shouldn’t be fighting for the good times anyway. Money can make anyone beautiful. Only when you fight through these urges and do the work. Now I know you wanted to sleep way earlier, but you didn’t. Yeah, sitting in bed and one day you’ll have a pretty sweet young wifey to keep you distracted. Let’s say with different area codes. Your story also points out everything you want in life (short of getting arrested). Now when did redheads become the norm? You remember “DC” one look at her, and you were out for the count when it comes to brunettes. Okay, speaking of being KO’ed, Six Impossible Things:

  1. I Will Keep It In My Pants (Day 019 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
    Completed (Day 026 No Fap)
  2. I Will Be The “Father” My Dog Deserves
    Failed
  3. I Will Write 11,900 Words For NaNoWriMo
    Completed
  4. I Will Review Crave (Addicted To You #1) K.M. Scott
    Failed
  5. I Will Enter The Mythic March Short Story Contest
    Failed
  6. I Will Finish Reading The Five by Lily White
    Failed

Two out of six again but when you can write 50,000 words in less than a month. You somehow go to the day job, go shopping, keep yourself and B III alive. That’s what’s called fighting and if you can do all that you can win. One of your motivation says that you must be willing to die for the cause if need be. Only you still have more within you I know it. Even when you’re sitting at the top of the mountain, this ain’t over. Have enough cash, so you have to climb it. Enough words until your enemies grow silent. Enough flesh that you don’t have to beef with anybody if that makes any sense. Though how often are Six Impossible Things:

  1. I Will Keep It In My Pants (Day 026 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
  2. I Will Be The “Father” My Dog Deserves
  3. I Will Name My Novel And Write A Back Cover Of It
  4. I Will Review Crave (Addicted To You #1) K.M. Scott
  5. I Will Enter The Mythic March Short Story Contest
  6. I Will Finish Reading The Five by Lily White

Not gonna lie, it’s nice to see some titles disappear. I shouldn’t be a contender, potential, B plus player, a Facebook and Twitter banner or such. Will, you’re a winner today. So you deserve to enjoy that. The thing is with this list you have to go further, keep pushing yourself. Will I know I’ve been somewhat motivational, you’ll have books you need to start reading again for that. Remember, your winning if Triple B is full. Your wallet is getting fatter, and I know you Will Fight For Titles.

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 299 ~Hey Rich, I’m Will~

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One of these days, this will be the story of how I became a rich man, in two days I’ll have a story of a bookstore made brothel, and tonight there are so many pretty girls to text. Hey Rich, I’m Will.

Friday, April 26, 2019

Episode 299 ~Hey Rich, I’m Will~

Hey Lady Sophia,
I AM a Millionaire right now, or I would be if I ever published my first story “Some Assembly Required.” Now that includes the title; my current project doesn’t even have a name yet. Still, I’m on word 45,200, and this has spawned thirteen stories. Only let’s talk about three I’m living.

Well, more to the idea I want to live. For example, as I was telling “Indiana Gone” today, the dream is I don’t ever want to leave my Grand Estate. But, I’ll have family vacations. I’ll have businesses to run, an erotic appetite. Now, wait did I say a family? Everything I did today from picking up Chinese food. Banking, and visiting three different stores. One for dog food, to peanuts, to Walmart, I want to do online. Now like I was thinking about people finding 600 Million for Notre Dame. Why are the poor always called upon to help the poor? I’m rich, and I’ll help when the check comes through. Even last night I went to see Avengers: Endgame. One of the first things I’ll want to do is build an in-house movie theater. I’ll buy one of those machines so I can stream movies the moment they are out to the public.

As far as the public, I’m not a blabbermouth. Still, like Sheldon Cooper when you know something like Avengers: Endgame. You want to start talking plenty. Only no worries My Lady I know better, but for the record the movie was awesome. You know I’m not one to write about superheroes, and my villains are all perverted in one sense or another. So yet again I need my movie studio built. It will be like The Director by Lily White. I want to be charitable as I have seen some extraordinary movies coming out and I do want to take part in that. Haven’t I told you before I want to add beauty in the world if I can someday?

More like when I can. If I work hard tomorrow and I’m grateful there will be tomorrow, I will be looking at The End of my book. Camp NaNoWriMo will be mine once again I know it. What about those thirteen other stories like The Key of Janus, The Path Of Gaia, Prometheus? Always more stuff about the Greeks and even Christian ideology when I have the money. I’ll soon say Hey Rich, I’m Will.

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 294 ~Gee-whiz Or G Will~

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Books make one smarter and rap music; not to give credence to any government study but I only listen to it when I’m angry, so I start each day feeling good, listening to my Show Me The Money playlist. Gee-whiz Or G Will

Sunday, April 21, 2019

Episode 294 ~Gee-whiz Or G Will~

To Will:
I AM a Millionaire right now, and you can be too. Just figured I’d get the ball rolling with my gratefulness. The extra ten dollars that you have in your wallet. How you’re back on track with Camp NaNoWriMo. Your creativity is at an all-time high right now.

You’re well on your way to that million, if you ask, believe. Again just yesterday the ball got rolling. You still have your wish list to start writing after Camp NaNoWriMo. Not saying you can’t start right now but turning white paper to green. It sounds a bit like alchemy, I think? Oh, look at you becoming a philosopher for as the song goes, “Money for nothin’, chicks for free.” Now ain’t that the dream, to be right here and the money flowing in. The would-be genius couldn’t get that done and are you going back to the G-Life. Between Money Affirmations, Motivations, and new musings. Only yes there are always those Six Impossible Things:

  1. I Will Keep It In My Pants (Day 012 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
    Completed (Day 019 No Fap)
  2. I Will Be The “Father” My Dog Deserves
    Failed
  3. I Will Write 11,900 Words For NaNoWriMo
    Completed
  4. I Will Review Crave (Addicted To You #1) K.M. Scott
    Failed
  5. I Will Enter The Mythic March Short Story Contest
    Failed
  6. I Will Finish Reading The Five by Lily White
    Failed

Two out of six seems appropriate. With your fixation on boobs, the two followers you lost, or the two days with the day job. Only let’s focus on boobs because that always leads to good things Ha. I can see you’re quite fixated on Hot Juicy Teacher a.k.a. Onna Kyoushi. Still Cherry has been somewhat of a welcome distraction along with the Cosplayer. So again the point is to get girls naked without spending money. However, you got to spend it to make it, and I’m still not a Republican. Being a pimp, however, makes one a G and more to the point I think G should stand for Good. Even considering what you do for a living. The difference between that kind of man and that life well if you conquer Six Impossible Things:

  1. I Will Keep It In My Pants (Day 019 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
  2. I Will Be The “Father” My Dog Deserves
  3. I Will Write 11,900 Words For NaNoWriMo
  4. I Will Review Crave (Addicted To You #1) K.M. Scott
  5. I Will Enter The Mythic March Short Story Contest
  6. I Will Finish Reading The Five by Lily White

Any idea for the novel, well there is this wanting Alison and Will to run away forever the end. There’s an idea out of His Dark Materials. I mean spanning several books you have the Levitation Virus. The “Doorways,” and now you’re considering the Medusa Strain. Strange all your characters are either like you, wicked smart, or criminals. In one horrific way or another. No, you’re not exactly looking to be the hero. Now the money will come, and you’ll have the good life that’s for damn sure. You’ve been singing at work, and you don’t care what “THEY” all think Gee-whiz Or G Will.

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 292 ~William And Mr. Saku~

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I told my father that I have a few different personalities, none of them would ever benefit him ever, a common enemy and all, so it is with my characters, a plethora of pornographic passions or people I hope I never see again. William And Mr. Saku

Friday, April 19, 2019

Episode 292 ~William And Mr. Saku~

Hey Lady Sophia,
I AM a Millionaire right now. A Chinese feast and I’m adding this to the list. An orgy with a plethora of Asian girls; relax. My story is getting pretty bad with my sexual fantasies, enough so that I needed to class it up somewhere. I mean “William?” You would think I have all the motivation I would ever need. I didn’t let the Day Job take this off day, so I should have done five thousand words. Only I was up in more ways than one.

Wake up at 4 AM try going to bed then. I was fighting between three stories, one being Hot Juicy Teacher a.k.a. Onna Kyoushi from last night. What can I say I’m a sucker for a good story? Okay, a blue/purple haired girl with amazing breasts. I am ashamed of that picture though. I usually don’t post things like that, not anymore but hell I made two gifs of Honoka Toudou so far, and I want to make more. Beautiful women bring out my inner artist. How many images did I cut from the MILF and her breasts? Of course, there’s the other MILF and a file of the Cosplayer. Worse though is the wrath of a writer you know. To this day Lady Sophia, do you remember why I got back to writing, just another girl? I made her the main villain in one of the novels. Another is witch jealous of her daughter. There is one more, an emo blogger, mother, and journalist.

Now you will have to excuse me, but I’m going to have to get a bit of work done. At the very least get to bed at a decent hour tonight. The first thing, organizing the five main characters that I have narrating the tale.

For Title In Progress:
0000 Will 12500 Will 25000 Will
2500 Alison 15000 Ember 27500 Wilcox
5000 Wilcox 17500 Wilcox 30000 Alison
7500 Ember 20000 Alison
10000 Genevieve 22500 Ember

First, off I see I miscounted this morning, counting my chickens before they hatch as it were. The power of “The Secret,” treating everything I want as though I possess it. Still like Forrest Gump said since I’ve come this far what about the chapters?

20000 Alison “Closed, Clothed, And We’re Coming”
22500 Ember “Break Her And Bought It”
25000 Will “Who Is The Perverted Proprietor”
27500 Wilcox “Bedtime Damsel Without Her Dress
30000 Alison “Sale On Sluts He’s Mine

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 287 ~Nice And Slow Will~

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“He’s slow,” well people are usually a lot crueler than that and when I am “taking my time” it will be because I have all the time in the world and a great big world to see, now I’m running around the Day Job and the words. “Nice And Slow Will.”

Sunday, April 14, 2019

Episode 287 ~Nice And Slow Will~

To Will:
How To Make One Million Dollars, other than making this a Triple B production? If you had the “time” or Will to give him his own Instagram and Twitter, he would eclipse you in less than a week. You could always get that time machine up and running. When I last worked on the NOVEL, I have fairytales. Full of sex and was about to introduce fakes more to the point, some clones.

Filled to the brim with ideas, aren’t you? For example, how to control time. I mean the way to a man’s heart is his stomach THEY say. A full belly and you aren’t going anywhere. All you want to do is sleep. Keep your balls full, and you know what you desire or who, but you’re greedy. Now isn’t that an easy way to stay in bed or take longer in the shower. It’ll make you as slow a shopper as women, which is sort of sexist about them. What if your house has blessings of all that love? If you love that green paper and I know you do. How about you keep the words in your mouth for yourself and your goal, oh right those Six Impossible Things.

  1. I Will Keep It In My Pants (Day 005 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
    Completed (Day 012 No Fap)
  2. I Will Be The “Father” My Dog Deserves
    Failed
  3. I Will Write 10,200 Words For NaNoWriMo
    Completed
  4. I Will Review Crave (Addicted To You #1) K.M. Scott
    Failed
  5. I Will Enter The Mythic March Short Story Contest
    Failed
  6. I Will Finish Reading The Five by Lily White
    Failed

Camp NaNoWriMo isn’t an excuse these are only the facts. So it has taken over every aspect of life. Only unlike most of the camps, you went to as a child. At least this is something you’re enjoying. Somewhere you will miss. Still, I know what you’re thinking “Prison?” It beats running, and no I’m not saying that’s bad. But always you would rather be here. Sitting in your chair, talking, the discipline and all that. More than the Day Job, mowing the lawn, errands, society as a whole Will. Time is slowing down and then speeding up and all so you can stop. Live in the moment, and the answer is discovering things to stop you. Yes still you need the motivation as always of your Six Impossible Things:

  1. I Will Keep It In My Pants (Day 012 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
  2. I Will Be The “Father” My Dog Deserves
  3. I Will Write 11,900 Words For NaNoWriMo
  4. I Will Review Crave (Addicted To You #1) K.M. Scott
  5. I Will Enter The Mythic March Short Story Contest
  6. I Will Finish Reading The Five by Lily White

It never stops you know, but if you want to take it nice and slow, you find a woman. You have the cash to decide on everything that you wish. If anything you need only take a timeout and say that you want everything, POWERFUL. You seek out that kingdom. Find it, and look out over it before you realize there is so much more Will. Camp NaNoWriMo is thirty days; Nice And Slow Will.

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 285 ~Will Is Cloning Around~

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I love success, more than I like to sleep, though there is a part of me that wants nothing but a bed and by next month I’ll be in full recovery mode, with another first draft and as always, a million dollars. Will Is Cloning Around

Friday, April 12, 2019

Episode 285 ~Will Is Cloning Around~

Hey Lady Sophia,
How To Make One Million Dollars? Well at least for an hour and a half, sometimes less. (Thank You B III) I can believe, I have it sitting in the bank. I could if I published a book you think? Still, even in that, they all turn out the same Lady Sophia.

You know how I tend to put myself into every novel I write. Of course, talking to you and the girls will get the “real” man arrested at some point. Then thrown into a cold cell; I had to turn the A/C on today, again Triple B is happy in his way. Even something as small as this forces me to evolve to learn and grow. “In My Place” as it were; and from dreams to books, and of course “The Law Of Attraction.” I will one day find myself working out of a brothel. So today in my story, Dr. Ember Bridgette Morgan a.k.a. “Angie Griffin.” Also (The Blonde) a.k.a. Alison Angel will discover their bosses are clones of the Main Character. Like Shusaku, Isaku, Kisaku from the Hentai.

Hell, why am I even talking about porn today? Other than the stresses of the Day Job and I come back, attempting to be a better man. Is Chinese food fit right? Doing the Morning Routine, meditation, hypnosis, breathing exercises, rewriting the man I am. Every one of these teachings, some say to work hard. Others speak you have to believe and live as though you have everything you want. Then there’s the one that is going to stay up late, writing the story because I can’t fall behind again. My characters find themselves lost, as I am as of late. If only compared to my life? Yes leave me to wander around a book store looking at half-naked females, and I would be good.

As made as my reputation is at the Day Job. See I had to stop the name calling that was coming and think “One Million Dollars.” Anyway, how they see me at work is written in stone, and that’s exactly how I feel when I walk in. The question is, who in the world do I want to be in the end. So I know, it’s why I’m up so late because this is my life, I’m fighting for, running to, writing down. So don’t think Will Is Cloning Around.

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 280 ~Hard Times Will Spent~

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I’m a hard man, and for once I don’t mean that in a pervy way, or as a detriment, more like my fingers are hitting the keys, I have a roof over my head, last night went on forever, I was writing. “Hard Times Will Spent.”

Sunday, April 7, 2019

Episode 280 ~Hard Times Will Spent~

To Will:
How To Make One Million Dollars, paper, pencils, and pens. How about keyboard buttons, and metal chairs. Everything I am grateful for today. So much allowed me to get three thousand words down last night. Of course, your hardhead is still on the idea of fists which you didn’t have to use. More and more “research” and finishing the “The Secret” this morning on your Kindle. Another way of looking at Hard Times.

I suppose that’s why we have warm cuddly puppies like B III. It’s fantastic that you remembered to be thankful, grateful, and pleased with how the day started. After that binge until the early morning hours. Hoodies aren’t armor; they are all kinds of comfy though, and so is sunlight on your skin. The Den’s loveseat, you have plenty of wrestling to watch before WrestleMania tonight. Even now you think you should lie down because this way of thinking is weird. Positive but the world is hard which means you have to run a little bit faster to escape the negativity. So, Six Impossible Things:

  1. I Will Keep It In My Pants (Day 008 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 005 No Fap)
  2. I Will Be The “Father” My Dog Deserves
    Failed
  3. I Will Write 10,200 Words For NaNoWriMo
    Completed
  4. I Will Review Crave (Addicted To You #1) K.M. Scott
    Failed
  5. I Will Enter The Mythic March Short Story Contest
    Failed
  6. I Will Finish Reading The Secret by Rhonda Byrne
    Completed

Meditation is hard because you’ve made your mind like an insane asylum, keeping the madness close. A prison inside because you’ve seen prisons outside. You remember Chief Miles Edward O’Brien, the prison he created of his design. So when you meditate, you throw all the goodness you can into the universe. Imagining your bedroom, bathroom, personal arcade. It’s all there coming into being. A Million Dollars is cold hard cash that’s going to get you that cushy lifestyle. These long nights in your chair will bring so many leafy pages between hard covers and paperback too. Though there’s something else pretty much rock hard is buried now in sweat pants. Still doing Six Impossible Things:

  1. I Will Keep It In My Pants (Day 005 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
  2. I Will Be The “Father” My Dog Deserves
  3. I Will Write 10,200 Words For NaNoWriMo
  4. I Will Review Crave (Addicted To You #1) K.M. Scott
  5. I Will Enter The Mythic March Short Story Contest
  6. I Will Finish Reading The Five by Lily White

The Secret is, if anything, just feeling good. Next projecting those feelings onto the universe. Telling it what you want and knowing it’s delivered, like checking Amazon orders in a way. In so doing you will have a plethora of hard times you are looking forward to Will, the best. Today you should enjoy the softness. Haribo Sour Goldbears has a new sponsor with this season of NaNoWriMo. You can do some reading and writing if you finish all that wrestling. Now ranch wings aren’t hard on the tongue. They are excellent restaurant material now.

Clocks, Watches, your phone, should be hard only not the time inside them. There are always More than enough for you Hard Times Well Spent.

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 278 ~Need Willing Positive Vibes~

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Energy Flows Where Attention Goes, something I’ve heard this week. When I put myself into a “Happy” place I feel it and today; this goes against all my motivations, but people don’t want me happy. Need Willing Positive Vibes.

Friday, April 5, 2019

Episode 278 ~Need Willing Positive Vibes~

Hey Lady Sophia,
How To Make One Million Dollars, non-lethal erasers. Now you’re not Inspector Echo, but I feel I owe myself an apology. For all the good I’m attempting, and it’s as if, well you know I repeat myself, a lot. I want to rewrite my life story, and people won’t let me so?

Well, take my new novel for example. Today I intend to reach Chapter Five “Sorry, She’s Out Of Stock…INGS.” Even though the words are pushing through. I know this journey will be worth it, positive vibes. Despite an almost midnight hour, Chapter Four “You Sale Me Something Good” was started. Writing does make me feel proud of myself when I don’t stop. I even see the story coming together, in its strange way. Now I thought I knew the definition between good writing and terrible. Lady Sophia I worked it out today, and I realized that I wasn’t even close.

Horrible writing is when I was sitting in the breakroom today having to write out my schedule. Talk about archaic but then literally posting it on the wall. One, because management is a bunch of liars. Two because I enjoy humiliation, and three, if not that, indifference. It’s writing and having to reword everything and Lady Sophia I am grateful. I am putting the method of “The Secret” into practice. Catching myself in some terrible thoughts and replacing them. You know I talk about honesty even in my fiction. Only nowadays I’m either lying to myself or like PORN; I give in. I’ll allow myself the horniness, or in the case of work, I accept the rage, madness, and stupidity.

Stupidity, the only thing that snapped me out of it today was the FEAR of what would happen next. All the vibes I was putting out there in the universe, and I’m sure I missed “something.” Still, the worry is working its way up and out of my life. Unlike the porn but as I’ve explained before; research. The scene with the schoolgirl and the guy in the bathroom. I could find it in two seconds, but I’ve avoided “adult entertainment” for the most part. Not Pinterest, Instagram, or a pretty girl’s Snapchat. How dare I forget my pornographic story as I’m so “relaxed.” I slept too long, my Brainbuddy routine, meditation music. I am getting ready for the writing that needs doing. A story I can rewrite Anytime, So I Need Willing Positive Vibes.

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 273 ~Will Drown For Food~

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Drinking more water, “trying” to get up and do some real work, staying cleaning and not lying in dirty clothes for the whole day; it all seems like so much that I can barely breathe but what’s the point. “Will Drown For Food”

Sunday, March 31, 2019

Episode 273 ~Will Drown For Food~

To Will:
How To Make One Million Dollars, if you need an honest answer, Breasts. Find a way to see Tits without paying. Get Boobs to pay to see Knockers on Knockouts. Find a Bosom you want to keep for yourself and make her yours.

You’ve started reading a new motivational book, The Secret by Rhonda Byrne. Tomorrow will be different, but for now, it’s making sense. What’s one more chef like I talked about yesterday. Another mentor, more learning? Have you forgotten to be grateful? What you’ve learned so far is that you attract what you think about the most. So, of course, Ta-tas. You wanted to see the Cosplayer’s, and so you have. You paid a pretty penny to see the MILF’s, but you got it done. You saw “Okay’s” for free (for the most part) along with Indiana Gone’s. You want to see them, and there’s no shortage. If you put those on the list, you’ll be looking at 100%. Still, here we are, Six Impossible Things:

  1. I Will Keep It In My Pants (Day 001 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
    Completed (Day 008 No Fap)
  2. I Will Be The “Father” My Dog Deserves
    Failed
  3. I Will Review Crave (Addicted To You #1) K.M. Scott
    Failed
  4. I Will Enter The Mythic March Short Story Contest
    Failed
  5. I Will Read Love The Way You Lie by Skye Warren
    Completed
  6. I Will Edit One Chapter Of My Newly Written Novel
    Failed

You have thought about that story of Socrates. How he nearly drowned a man on a quest for knowledge. Eric Thomas tells the same story about success. You know “when you want (blank) as badly as you want to breathe.” So for you, that’s girls. Now you’re also a student of Scarface and the things he had to do to obtain power. The old blood, sweat, and tears mentality of your hard work. That you have to know, you do?

However, there is an attraction. Controlling one’s thoughts. How you can’t imagine how difficult that is. The “F” Word no not “Fucking” (Language). The other F word. I’m reluctant to say because you know how Hemingway flags it as “uncertainty.” Much like Six Impossible Things:

  1. I Will Keep It In My Pants (Day 008 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
  2. I Will Be The “Father” My Dog Deserves
  3. I Will Write 10,200 Words For NaNoWriMo
  4. I Will Review Crave (Addicted To You #1) K.M. Scott
  5. I Will Enter The Mythic March Short Story Contest
  6. I Will Finish Reading The Secret by Rhonda Byrne

I know it’s hard to explain. It’s like your bed is a sinking ship, and you jump overboard with the promise of something to keep you afloat. Instead, Will, you climb back into that doomed ship. As far as you’re concerned you’re dead either way right? Only this is the thinking that needs to stop. One good thought overrides a hundred negatives, but you have a lifetime of that. Your sea is the air that you breathe. So if you’re going under anyway, it might as well be moving towards something you want. You didn’t have a laptop before. A thousand dollars was a dream. Women, that want to take their clothes off for money; who could imagine such a thing? Whether you’re a baby or a grown man, you know what you want. So yes, Will Drown For Food.

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 271 ~Self-Harm, Write A Will~

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As Johnny Cash sang “I hurt myself today.” I’m not attempting to feel; if anything I am only to0 lazy to get out of the way of everything that’s hurting me and I find even cheaper ways to. “Self-Harm, Write A Will” how many have I done

Friday, March 29, 2019

Episode 271 ~Self-Harm, Write A Will~

Hey Lady Sophia,
How To Make One Million Dollars, they’ve already created Band-Aids, Beer. Somebody racked their Brain mass for Twitter. Only for Trump to use it the way he does. No Lady Sophia I’m not about to get political, what good would it do?

First off I’m not that STUPID. Wait am I, leaving my bag at the Day Job unattended for a few minutes. Of course, my mind has written the worst case scenario, a million times over. Still, the only person reading it is me. My left wrist, all day, I pinched, I snapped, I stung. I am reminding myself not to be STUPID. While I only became even more so. Tell me this what’s the correlation if any between depression and RAGE. Is it part of being Bipolar. It’s one more reason I write. The general manager said I say that the whole world is against me. So I create a world full of people in stories. All so I can do the most horrible things. I can kill them one after the other ending up Alone Again, naturally, The End.

Only it never is, is it, I don’t edit. Grammarly and Hemingway, are seas of color. Looking over my recent blogs, I don’t recognize myself anymore. Lady Sophia, at the same damn time I do. Allow me to dive into my fandoms once again. I might as well be a head on a stick in TWD. I need a golden pair of scissors and a red jumpsuit like in Jordan Peele’s “US.” So I can cut up this crap. Is that why I’m hurting myself? It’s only a rubber band, but I can’t stay awake. My eyes are a bloodshot red SNAP. Look up, POP, lift your feet PINCH. On and on but the RAGE Lady Sophia. So much, all at me, the man my “father” made me in existence. I’m STUPID no matter what.

My words might as well be, a sea of white in the shower though I’m abstaining now. Hasn’t even been a week yet, like those times I went without eating. I’m making room for more pain that I deserve. I ask myself WHY; I’m not suicidal or more like I’m lazy about the fact. Which again makes me STUPID. That’s my new word Lady Sophia, an oldie but a goodie. I suppose “skeevy” well who knows I may have lost one more friend today. Math is one of those things that did the most harm to me. My writing is the only way I can harm others. Torture for us all, but numbers? I know how many friends I lose, money, time, how many words for a new NaNoWriMo shirt. And this is how I hurt myself every day my great Self-Harm, Write A Will.

I Will Have No Fear