Episode 234 ~Up, Up, Up, Will~

I wish I could stay up on one subject, in particular, if I’m going to be awake then honestly I should stay that way but why is the climb down from my bed harder than rising anywhere else? Up, Up, Up, Will

Wednesday, February 20, 2019

Episode 234 ~Up, Up, Up, Will~

Forgive Me Echo,
How To Make One Million Dollars, join a church, cult, or a coven; you see even that turns me on. When I was young, I also wrote a poem called “Sunday School Girls.” Some months back I read The Cloister Trilogy by Celia Aaron and as far as covens, sigh European Modeling.

Surprising, that’s not what made me blow my wad or several, and you’ll have to forgive me Inspector Echo. It’s only 5:30 in the morning, so I’ll probably be a lot more “candid” attempting to stay awake and keep it in my pants. My first three sins, being honest, hung, and keeping my head up, both little and big. So I guess you already know I won’t be accomplishing my six impossible things, again this week. What week was it that I had my positive streak? The fact that I haven’t whipped somebody’s ass “heh” this week is good enough.

I can’t even look at them, that’s my fourth sin, at the day job there is nothing but rage and people telling me to keep my head up. Truthfully Inspector Echo, I don’t need any more people to make me so angry but whose fault is that? Yes, there is fear as well, I do not deny it; how I “try” to keep my eyes up. I don’t know if it’s the monster in my brain, my mouth, or I’m making a grave with my gaze drilling a hole in the floor. I could talk about feeling as though the world is on my shoulders. These hands as though every finger has a weight attached, or how fat my pockets are getting; that’s a laugh.

My friend “Cherry” has nice lips, it’s one of her best features. Still, she also once teased with her cleavage, “boobies” or would you prefer “tits?” I’m wondering if that’s a language violation? To me the word breast is dull, and I’ve seen Indiana Gone, Okay, the MILF, Court, and how many did I pay peeking? Like something out of Detroit: Become Human, does that count as a fifth sin? I mean models get paid. I still have a wardrobe for a submissive, sex toys. Not to mention still paying off something as Mr. Dink would put it “very expensive.” So want to know how to generate a million dollars, find a way to make other guys pay. Only for this morning, the idea is forgiveness. For liking what I like sigh, breaking No FAP, making life HARD. Keeping my eyes to the ground, and being a few steps down from a “John.” Take a look at my character fodder for The Logos Girls novel.

Forgive me Inspector Echo, but I don’t think God or anyone in the world is suggesting Up, Up, Up, Will.

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 230 ~Will Puddin, Published, Genius~

Put your money where your mouth is, excellent advice considering my situation, and ten bucks; a salve for an itch I can’t scratch o maybe like a cat that’s what paper is for and even now a voice is yelling, stop that. Will Puddin, Published, Genius

Saturday, February 16, 2019

Episode 230 ~Will Puddin, Published, Genius~

Hey Lady Lu,
How To Make One Million Dollars, they keep staring me in the face. Her boobs, that boing in my pants, and books that remain unpublished and why. I’m not the good guy, the god-fearing man or a genius… aren’t I supposed to be positive after yesterday’s rant?

“All I wanted was to see her naked!” ―
Girl All The Bad Guys Want

https://www.patreon.com/Courtcarmody

Luna I have, don’t you know, not as much as I would like. I’m never going to let that go right; quite presidential, you start messing with people’s money, and it’s over. Court Carmody sigh compared to the MILF. The things men will do for boobs, because we are boobs and that ladies in gentlemen is the English language. Of course, that’s not as bad as my Math. Though $10.00 beats, um well; let it go, Elsa, am I right? So besides sex, money is on my mind, and again with the motivations. Don’t follow the money, but the purpose and I sit here having an inception moment. Remember all the people I blamed yesterday, and I told “Indiana Gone” today who I would most like to be? Larry Flynn, Hugh Hefner, Ron Jeremy, Dennis Hof, and another guy I’m better off not naming, again.

Okay, you get it a fat rich white guy that gets to have plenty of sex. These are men who have cash from young women getting nude being on camera, and working in cat-houses. That’s why I’m brainstorming or being lazy, your call. Anyway as I was having a conversation with Indiana Gone, I told her my dream. I have to get published, starting producing books like I’m S. Wolf, Skye Warren, and Larry Flynn combined. Until I can afford photographers, property, then head west. Everything Dennis Hof had, I want that lifestyle. No not the show but movies no doubt, a “love hotel” like they have in Japan, and with all this, I still want the love of family.

I’m not stupid, I’m staying positive, but I’m not a genius, I am a guy with a penis. Hell if I last the day, the first week of No Fap once again and I even finished Lolita. I was telling “Cherry” today who fashions herself a Lolita… she’s twenty-one, and I’ve never seen her boobs. Anyway, I was telling her that word here can lead to trouble. Since my whole bad teeth “realization” why is it that even my fingers are shutting up these days. Things I shouldn’t say like last night. I’m still thinking about my taste in women. They are either innocent virgins or women with bad sexual histories. Ironically I have seen all four of those women naked. Two I didn’t pay for but again how do I turn this into profit. I’ve offered both MILFS a deal, one though has her reasons and the other? I’m not shelling out that type of cash again. Because at least for now, or I would like to be, I’m only Will Puddin, Published, Genius.

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 197 ~Women Make The World Harder~

Whenever a woman is coming over I’m reminded of that concept “Jesus is coming, look busy” it’s like the end of days maybe, and that’s if things get that far, past twenty seconds of courage, the daily grind, life. Women Make The World Harder

Monday, January 14, 2019

Episode 197 ~Women Make The World Harder~

Sixty-Seventh Rule Madam Justice

How To Make One Million Dollars, keep your zipper closed no matter how hard “IT” gets and no I’m not thinking about the clown, learn to live “Bird Box” style, and maybe I misunderstood in the land of the blind, the one-eyed man is king. You also must remain a hard ass and by that I mean keep your wallet full and keep your mouth shut and grind; my back pockets are for my wallet, some work gear, and some wound up earphones most days.

Last time I checked Eric Thomas has a woman but here’s the thing Madam Justice, I have a hard time breathing regardless of what I do but between the day job and women… one they call making a living, the other produces life. I make women out to be, princess and queens, angels and goddesses, I find myself willing to do anything and haunted by my decisions and wonder why. Now I want to be a man. Indeed a wise black man so I’ll quote The Fresh Prince, Girls Ain’t Nothing But Trouble, I have watched many a great man fall to perdition, not saying they didn’t deserve it but the innocent as well Justice.

Falling in love doesn’t take a brain, you’re libel to bust a gut, and you know how much I hate playing the fool which explains some and a man must also be brave, have huge stones or can we say bigger balls. Do you think me bitter Madam Justice, I don’t like the taste of 5-hour ENERGY, but I still take it every day and so it is with women, as the song goes, I’m a little Drunk On You which ironically makes me softer and more open. Doesn’t this lead me back to the MILFS though or any woman for that matter, hell Dennis Hof wanted independent women, but he also spoiled them rotten, and at the same time he bought houses galore, he had the Midas Touch, indeed plenty of cold hard cash.

Women make a man hardheaded in more ways than one, in body, bullion, battle, and probably a million other things all so we can take them to bed, in the belief that we will breathe a little easier, and I won’t lie Madam Justice, one day I want to be a dad. What doesn’t “end” you, makes you stronger and with a woman sigh what does one man have to fear; I rather face Ryuukotsusei, hell maybe I am him or is being a Dominant worse, that sends the girls running, and the planet spinning, Women Make The World Harder.

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 171 ~Just Facts It Will~

The good thing about writing fiction is I can tell myself a story every night and tomorrow morning and then when it comes to setting my fingers to the task suddenly I have writer’s block so let me tell the truth. Just Facts It Will

Wednesday, December 19, 2018

Episode 171 ~Just Facts It Will~

Forgive Me Echo,
How To Make One Million Dollars, for all my “creativity,” “originality,” and porno acumen the FACT is I lack Discipline, Direction, and sigh Desire because I’m still here though the jury is out on my embarrassment, ego, and evil… such “good intentions.”

Now we’ll get to those Inspector Echo, first let’s talk about what happened Monday which I’m still torn up about, my Social Anxiety, Bipolar Depression, OCD… all in my head right, okay so my manager asks me to give this girl (I’ve never met) a hard tag remover. So I walk to the front of the store, see a girl working with a customer and I hang around for five minutes trying to read her name tag because I’m HORRIFIED to ask her name (eyes getting better, nope). Anyway, I end up leaving the device on the farthest register away from her and then coming back to the house; don’t get me started on why they don’t want me opening the store, hell my ANXIETY is libel to get the place robbed, hating my life.

I’m not the only one that loathes MY life, what about my parents; the things they must tell themselves; the house I ran to, they bought, because telling blessed, black, believers that your son is in a mental institution or dead would be too much. Speaking of too much and people I don’t talk to regularly, remember that year I wrote to “REALDOLL” hoping I might get one, $$$ well guess where some of my money is going this year.

Aren’t I suppose to be numbering sins… anyway while I’m counting dollars you say why don’t I give money to charity; now that is a big question but quickly I give money to writers (NaNoWriMo), women (Friends, Workers, Sex or Otherwise), and my world, Step Into A World. I didn’t even get my mother a gift and her birthday was on Dec. 16 and as far as Christmas goes, would I say I hate it, but I bought gifts for all the other women in my life, now if that ain’t a sin. The last fact of the day is how little I know about myself or the fact that everything I want for Christmas is still impossible, immoral, illegal or insane, case and point some girl saying Let Me Be Your, Siren, or Detroit: Become Human; what I bought it for someone else right.

So may you forgive me Echo my apparent lack of triple D’s but abundance of E’s, my embarrassing workday which goes to show why I will not go up for promotion, though I owe so many, my charitable connotations, I am grateful to my mother dearly but what a child she gave to the world, a man… didn’t I say Echo, Just Facts It Will.

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 148 ~Push It To The Limit~

Writing has become my cocaine or maybe my “personal brand of heroin,” but I intend to kick by the end of this month and go right back to being lazy about blogging and maybe getting a few more hours sleep but first 50,000 words. “Push It To The Limit”

Monday, November 26, 2018

Episode 148 ~Push It To The Limit~

Sixtieth Rule Madam Justice

How To Make One Million Dollars but in truth, I have no limit, yeah my motivations are still kicking in, the motivation to tell the General Manager if he wants Thursday he must give me Saturday, how about to finish NaNoWriMo and of course the war continues to rage on. I think it’s funny how people are supposed to be limitless when it comes to the pain but when it comes to pleasure and power, it’s always in moderation I see more often than not.

I should be talking to Lady Sophia, but even now I feel pretty lazy as if I should press on with my novel especially since I lost Thursday but you know I have a limit when it comes to people (currently 0) and Saturday was going to be way too much. Speaking of which, *sigh* what did I mention about the war… the TERRO Ant baits said they should take about two weeks, so we are waiting into the second week, and again I was ready to announce victory Saturday. How about how many ways there are to distract myself from what I should be finishing, I love “B III,” you know “The Walking Dead” has stuck with me and of course my motivations to become that much more motivated.

Now If I Had $1,000,000 would I be happy and I know, sadly Madam Justice I wouldn’t be so what if I had more, where would the limit exist; here I am trying to produce fifty-thousand words in a month and not one of them would get me to HAPPY, LOVE or POWER. Still, I’m willing to “try” for a future I have mortgaged a month of my life, for pests I have spent maybe fifteen bucks, for my son… I have no clue what I have spent or what I wouldn’t be willing to do for his life. One more concept, we need limits, I need NaNoWriMo’s to get my novel done, we need laws because most people are stupid and cruel, I need “Triple B’s” to keep from imposing a cap on my life for the moment at least; is that crazy Justice?

This whole conversation would have to be so, but Tony Montana didn’t see any limits and look how he turned out; oh yeah probably not that great of an example but how for a moment in time he reached and kept going. Anyway, I have it pretty easy don’t I, one year YouTube videos, the next, my blog, three NaNoWriMo victories, my kid’s alive, so this life that I live, Push It To The Limit.

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 141 ~Making Money Is Always Necessary~

One guy pimped women, another shared stories, and if you asked me what my dream job is, I’d like to combine the two, more so have a brothel of storybook heroines “Giggity,” but women want the guys on the covers. “Making Money Is Always Necessary

Monday, November 19, 2018

Episode 141 ~Making Money Is Always Necessary~

Fifty-Ninth Rule Madam Justice

How To Make One Million Dollars; the perfect question for this week but I can answer how not to, stacking boxes for four hours, hard-tagging shoes for a couple more, buying McDonald’s, and killing off what remains of the ant population both outside and in. On the other hand, somebody is making millions, billions probably not lifting a damn finger and my fingers today black keys, black “ants,” and perhaps being a black man is hard enough, but I don’t want to get all racial in this piece, how else does one Run This Town?

Didn’t somebody once say that it takes money to make money, not if you’re a woman; is today going to be a political issue; I need something with which to ignore the coming holiday known as Black Friday. Can you imagine the people we would be if money weren’t always the issue, perhaps it would be more so if I had plenty of it but I would trade the problems of never having enough for the single concept of wanting that much more? I think I’ve spoken plenty about what I would like to do to get it; I just put another 1800 words down for my novel titled Pay Two Plague. I still want to acquire a brothel, and why I don’t have the body, and a harem takes time, “B III’s” face could sell anything, the whole world loves him, okay this street.

So am I making any real plans, you know that despite writing down my goal every single day there are times I forget about it, I think it’s what they call, the forests for the trees, struggling for the day instead of September next year (goal date). I would honestly have something to celebrate because the most I have to look forward to this week would have to be free food and several others are looking at that with gratefulness in their hearts. I’m sure my pests are all kinds of grateful ha, and as for me, I am thankful. Mostly it’s that moment I’m leaving the day job, and I didn’t get fired, when I finish the bare minimum writing, for not having to live a few hours though I’m still breathing on my pillow, of course, Madam Justice.

I’ve said this before, that I wish I had the same drive that has me rushing out of the house for the day job in every other facet of my life but instead I’m like one of these little ants crawling, ingesting poison, watching other’s like me dropping, with some dark face glad for my demise. Someday I’ll stop talking about this, like Detroit: Become Human, NaNoWriMo is only a month and the worst day in store history will end but like The Purge *sigh* Making Money Is Always Necessary.

“If Purging really worked if everyone actually got better wouldn’t we stop needing it?” Penelope Guerrero, The Purge (TV Series)

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 130 ~Take My Will Away~

As badly as you want air, that’s one of my concerns, I’m always looking for a reason not to breathe, because sometimes that is the hardest thing to do; I want to give life to some many so no wonder I feel like I’m in outer space. “Take My Will Away.”

Thursday, November 8, 2018

Episode 130 ~Take My Will Away~

WARNING, 18+, READER DISCRETION ADVISED

Come In Dirty Diana,
How To Make One Million Dollars, and “when” I do remind me not to blow it all on escorts, sex toys, porno, and erotica literature; money is one of many things that I need to keep my pants, but of course I blew it yesterday. You will have to excuse me if I do not feel that sexy besides fucking up “No Nut November” my son is sick but in recovery mode and is there anything sexier than the angels in my stories and not coming after four paws of fury.

My novel wasn’t exactly blowing me away last night, to be honest, but what happens, happens and somehow or another I’m going to have to capture a second wind, get ready for round two and even now I’m still up in more ways than one. The good thing about not talking so much is the fact that I’m not wasting air, hell Dirty Diana, a dominant’s rule is supposed to be absolute, thus providing more atmosphere for his submissive to perform her tasks and of course scream. Here’s another idea, why is it that the most beautiful things are meant to take your breath away, to give life to them, a feeling of paradise, and let’s say love isn’t exactly known to make people smarter, gibberish writing am I right?

Somehow those people can locate some part of Heaven, something much more significant than themselves and again gives life to those that take their breath away for a moment in time. I already told you before, I’m not feeling sexy time, but I’m writing as always to provide a future, my son needs that, he took my breath away the day he came to be in my world. Has any woman done that lately, for a release here or there my breath has caught in my throat; my son loves life, and he was trying to find fresh air, scary.

I need to give breath to so many things, but it’s getting harder to catch at least one for myself, and maybe that’s because like in American Beauty, there’s so much beauty in the world or stupidity, thinking with the little head instead of the big one. The little one has been getting far too much these last two days, giving into such lusts when what I love is threatened; love Take My Will Away.

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 123 ~Will Does Dirty Deeds

Should I go to a strip club already, or maybe I should become a “hobbyists” only in America do you crack down on the women before the guns but I feel like I’m going to… well given the news so much for free speech. Will Does Dirty Deeds

Thursday, November 1, 2018

Episode 123 ~Will Does Dirty Deeds

WARNING, 18+, READER DISCRETION ADVISED

Come In Dirty Diana,
How To Make One Million Dollars, keep your money and your dick in your pants for starters and who pays for porn nowadays anyway, though I have before, some DVD’s here or there “Isaku” for example, Virgin Roster Shukketsubo, Casual Romance Club Houkago Ren’ai CLUB, PC games. I also own some sex toys, and for a while, I was working on a closet for a potential submissive, but of course, life has to do its thing, and you can’t make a deal with it, what did one of my motivations say “life does not accept payment plans” but do women… perhaps?

If it worked for Christian Grey, but I don’t have that type of scratch. Otherwise, I would be in Nevada this very moment and in cute little redhead Alice Little; maybe if NaNoWriMo works out and I get published and how has that gone today? Yeah, I’m way too busy thinking about that MILF again, I wonder did she take my advice as she’s now trying to be a model maybe… so much for anything, I could give her am I right? Hell, I have been down that road before with a pornstar, the legendary Mia Rose, but no girl is looking for a guy with nothing… okay so maybe that shows how much I know about women, just saying.

Maybe wishing, hoping, imagining what life would be like if this was Brazzers or Reality Kings but if it isn’t my exercising MILF I’m dreaming of it’s the one closer to “home” a Twelve-Hour deal, and no not The Purge though I do have a fantasy there. The way I see it she could come to the house and do her usual for two to three hours, but before she heads upstairs she would do a striptease and wear something I picked, and she wouldn’t leave me wanting in the oral department let’s say or a handjob. Week two, there’s a difference between making love and fucking; we would do the former and talk about week three.

Now that would be the best day, BDSM two and a half hours’ scene followed with aftercare and lunch, maybe a small nap or a shower, she would have her own, given this place, it does have benefits. Such deeds though require such digits, and quite the Devil, and am I him, at the moment all I can say is I’ve felt better, no energy boosts today, but I’m nowhere near where I need to be, all my worries, writing and two women how Will Does Dirty Deeds.

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 113 ~Always Write The Truest Sentence~

As the song goes, every day I write the book or NOT, I found out it’s too late to submit a short story for competition but still, it’s not only a goal to write, it’s my purpose if that is the truth. “Always Write The Truest Sentence.”

Monday, October 22, 2018

Episode 113 ~Always Write The Truest Sentence~

Fifty-Fifth Rule Madam Justice

How To Make One Million Dollars, is there a fairer sentence these days, the first words of a short story I still plan on writing, all those missed sentences I didn’t read at work as I signed my name, how about the death sentence I hope has known conclusion, somebody getting fired. The truth of the matter is that first sentence; if it doesn’t do what is needed then the last sentence doesn’t matter now does it, and when it comes to you and the others, the concept of making a million dollars is it.

It sounds a lot better than, I’m getting in her pants this way or that way; already I’m beginning to look like a hypocrite, but damn do you know everything that a million dollars could get done simply. When I was a child, it used to be what two-hundred dollars could do, and like my money my sentences have grown as well and again like my finances, this is not always a good thing. My money and my writing have to speak for me because more often than not when I talk out loud, it’s not the real me and you know I despise liars but take this as true; if anything I’m an artist.

“Artists use lies to tell the truth. Yes, I created a lie. But because you believed it, you found something true about yourself.” ― Alan Moore, V for Vendetta (Goodreads)

I can’t say I rightly know what people find out about themselves when they read my writing but for the majority, when I speak I find out they are shit human beings, of course, there are exceptions “Indiana Gone,” “Okay,” yeah I can’t even name a few I can be myself around. So am I Will, when I’m writing… now that would be terrifying, a guy that would rather be with machines than people, a sadistic photographer who does everything to his victims, a vengeful cult-leader? Who do I want to be tomorrow, hell who do I want to be from minute to minute, this is more a question for Lady Sophia, but I’m not going to get to my short story today am I.

Love The Way You Run, working title of course but now I’m stuck on writing the first sentence, but it’s more like the story I tell myself when I first leave work, what did the general manager say “read between the lines.” First there have to be lines, and then there are words and somewhere in all of that junk lies me and if only someone would care to look but the fact that I’m not writing means *sigh* I don’t want to be found; is that the truth or a lie dear Madam Justice, Always Write The Truest Sentence.

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 109 ~A Greed With Will~

Doing what you love isn’t working right; now I could tell you exactly what that is to me and most people would say that’s not the L Word, others would say it’s illegal unless you live in Nevada or Rhode Island. “A Greed With Will”

Thursday, October 18, 2018

Episode 109 ~A Greed With Will~

WARNING, 18+, READER DISCRETION ADVISED

Come In Dirty Diana,
How To Make One Million Dollars, did I mention I miss Hugh Hefner and now Dennis Hof, how about the man I want to be, the man I should be? Only Sloth trumps Greed in my book, which explains why I’m hopped up on 5-hour ENERGY. Will I ever stop singing praises to it, well people are continually going on and on about blessed coffee, football, or the “president,” but you know what revs me up, boobs, butts, and ahem beauty.

That’s how such great men made their living, and that’s what I want to do with my life, beauties in both book and brothels, but I’ve been thinking about a niche, well I mean other than everything. Most people I’ve talked to about this know that I’m into brunettes, I still haven’t figured out why considering I’ll go for blondes, redheads, multicolor hair, the list goes on; a man must have choices and I’m still a traditionalist when it comes to marriage. Not talking to that guy right now, no I’m staying a dreamer, and I should be a worker, yeah the guy that spent all of his pay and then some, if I could horde cash the way I do the ladies, and how I should my dark secrets.

I know this isn’t sounding sexy but besides being on hiatus from you know what, I’m thinking more business, not to mention I’m greedy with my time today, which is something I find more valuable than both ladies and money and if I chose between the two… Both are only a means to an end, POWER but nobody lives forever, and when I see everything that I’m missing out on; now I don’t want to be some old man with some eighteen-year-old out for my money. I want to be some old man taking other guys money and getting all my sex for free, and again I’m not getting into love today; love and sex can be entirely different entities.

At the end of each day though, we want it all but what are we willing to do to have that; sometimes I think I’m freaking insane; a friend asked me, what would be so bad about losing the day job I hate every day, to what, write a book about what I love? I choose the money because the idea of flesh, fulfilling a need, let’s agree maybe “fucking” looks worse than the love of money but I want more; A Greed With Will.

I Will Have No Fear