Tag: Needs

Saga 281 ~B Shutting-Up Now V~

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Isn’t it ironic? THEY say I need to talk more. I know I need to shut up. I listened to them, and then… Surprise, surprise, I was right. The only thing I’ve ever been right about. Every day I question my decision on B. Then V? B Shutting-Up Now V

Saturday, April 8, 2023

Saga 281 ~B Shutting-Up Now V~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Billionaire right now, which means I can be as loud as I want. But THEY say… Succeed in silence?

I’m sure I read that in a book somewhere. B III might know, being that’s pretty positive, so I’d read out loud. Reading isn’t the same without him. Existing isn’t the same. Hell! I could come back, and he’d cuddle up close, and I’d shut-up and shut-out the world, Lu. Books weren’t so much for shutting me up but, again, for the world. I’ve always wanted to say (and yet I haven’t). If I had to talk to people every day, there’d be nothing but swears. Some might prefer that. Better than asking women, “Would you give me oral pleasure?” We’ll get to that, Lady Lunalesca; yesterday’s news. I’m not learning any history, Mr. GOP. If I could treat everything like the Day Job. FUCK!

And you know how I have turned to the word effing Lady Lunalesca. Like my effing son is dead, he’s the main reason I won’t shut-up. I miss My Braxton. And even with the book I’m reading this week. I have never gone to Acceptance. And I never will, Lunalesca. If it’s not sadness, it’s RAGE. Every day I come down more and more on the side of the Infected. 28 Days Later, 28 Weeks Later, The Last of Us, Patient Zero, shall I continue. Lunalesca, that’s the problem. It could be why I watched movies with Braxton’s aunt, ha. I don’t hate her for moving away. And for the record, I don’t hate any woman. Some I dislike. Like a lot, a lot. Hate…

Oh, I hate plenty of things. But I’m trying Lady Lunalesca. As I told Cherry yesterday, I’ve started meditation. I need to do it more in the AM than at night. Too many people, Virgil. Now he makes me want to scream. It’s not the same. And V’s quitter than B. No wonder I’m still trying to figure him out. Plus, he sleeps, and I’m plenty lazy, you know, Lunalesca. Except for one thing… I wrote a rule, the second rule. “You Are Not A Caveman.” But when I’m moaning and groaning. At the very least, I’m not saying or writing anything STUPID or sharing it as I did with Cherry, Braxton’s Aunt, or M Anime. Braxton’s dead, Virgil’s quiet. Me? B Shutting-Up Now V.

797 Days Without B III, Day 238 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 274 ~I Fooled B, V~

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What a fool believes he sees. He is I, and I am him. As you can see, I’m well-rounded when it comes to music. I’ve been listening to a bit more so as not to hear people’s jokes. Or Succubus Lord’s, either. To think I’ll live today no “I Fooled B, V.”

Saturday, April 1, 2023

Saga 274 ~I Fooled B, V~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Billionaire right now… April Fools, am I right? Not most days, I’m afraid, Lady Lunalesca. First instinct, my ass

I’m more of a “Basic Instinct” sort of fellow. And contrary to popular opinion… Uh, who’s reading this? Hell! I’ll start sounding like Cherry in a few. As I was saying, AHEM! Contrary to popular opinion, my first thoughts in the morning are always about Braxton. I cry because I miss him. I get angry because if I must exist, I rather it be for love. Lunalesca, love for my boy because for damn sure I have none for myself. Pleasure? There’s not one I wouldn’t surrender if I could have Braxton back with me, Lunalesca. Only like most, I told him a joke. I thought I was funny? And how did it turn out? Hmm… “You’re going to live forever, Braxton.” Then? “Just Kidding!”

I swear those are two of the worse words in the English language. And yet another lie for sure, my Lady. And then, like any Republican asshole… I erased history, committed a crime, and lied about it. That’s what happened on a Saturday 231 days ago with Virgil. I’ll save you. I doubt I said that, but it’s what Virgil Vivi Bradford believed. Or should I say the Freeloader? Or what about Archie? That’s what his name was before I got him, Lu. I got him? Doesn’t he need to get his shots, more meds, and a damn nail clipping? Today would be a good day. Only he’s in Braxton’s Room right now. And if I’m getting up… Didn’t I speak of pleasure —only mine.

Going to get Pepper Dogs and Onion Rings for breakfast/lunch. There’s NXT Stand & Deliver. Roxanne Perez and Isla Dawn (Homer drool), eww. WrestleMania, Lunalesca. The idea of doing something for OnlyFans. And I can read something I want today. Kindle Challenge is over for now… well when picking a new book to read, Lunalesca. Chances are I’ll choose something to make me cry, cum, or crave laziness today. Always. Because the biggest trick THEY say the Devil ever pulled was convincing the world he didn’t exist. I’m avoiding mirrors because I want to tell myself that I don’t, Lunalesca. Hell! I haven’t for 790 days. Even before that but there are Braxton’s eyes, Lunalesca. Virgil’s too. Being a good whatever, I Fooled B, V.

790 Days Without B III, Day 231 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 267 ~The Spelling B Virgil~

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Call it a Republican tendency, but I ain’t getting any wiser. From The Zoe Colletti/Tifa Lockhart Incident and The Cherry Collision. To folding pants. At the Day Job. And what about looking after a fur baby whose name is? The Spelling B Virgil

Saturday, March 25, 2023

Saga 267 ~The Spelling B Virgil~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Billionaire right now. How many times have I said that? When did I start? Billionaire? Nope! ANGRY, STUPID, HORNY.

Or more like Anxiety, Angry, and Annoyed yesterday. And here I am, lost on Sunday. Sunday, Bloody Sunday, as U2 sings. But for different reasons, of course. I hate Sundays. And no, I’m not late talking to you, Lady Lunalesca. Although next week… who knows. If anything, I know that today I miss my boy. Fuck! I miss B every day that ends in Y. Braxton died on Sunday, January 31, 2021. Did I tell you History’s my favorite subject? Only it makes me Angry. And I could go in so many different directions with that Lady Lunalesca. So I’m avoiding YouTube, Yahoo, and the yokels down in Florida. The Olds are there with the nephews, Disney World, Universal, and everything. I miss Spring Break.

While I sit here feeling STUPID for no particular reason. And then plenty of reasons. Lunalesca, I’m glad I read George Orwell’s 1984 before it got banned. America, America. As the song goes, “This Is America.” Now while I was no good with music, Reading was a… subject in school. Yeah, like Rosa Parks was only a woman that sat on the bus, Lady Lunalesca. I’m not STUPID. That’s what I want to scream out. But Lunalesca, you know what? Sometimes, I like to think I’m not a liar, either. That’s why I was gone for a little bit (sigh). I was reading about a family that has everything because they’re funny. There was AI. Oh, and some “Succubus Lord.” The Power of the Penis.

As Todd would say in that series. I’m pretty STUPID because I’m so effing Horny. Lunalesca, I went back from fucking to effing? One of many things I’m not sure about at any one time. Like Pornography… I was about to say I was an effing genius when it’s XXX. But I couldn’t even spell the word. I’m no good with math. Money and titties. Lunalesca, how much money did I spend this morning? None! But tits are so persuasive. And if I were any good at writing… I might have some smashed against me. What about if I listened to Bukowski instead of Hemingway? “So You Want To Be A Writer?” More like studying Anatomy. Spell Virgil instead of Freeloader. The Spelling B Virgil

783 Days Without B III, Day 224 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 260 ~It’ll B Saturday, Virgil~

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I complain that I don’t have time, and when I do, like today? Hell! If I treated every day as if I were looking for B III. Oh, he’s right there on the nightstand because Virgil… sigh. Had one messed up Saturday 217 days ago. It’ll B Saturday, Virgil.

Saturday, March 18, 2023

Saga 260 ~It’ll B Saturday, Virgil~

“It is an awesome feeling to know you are about to change someone’s life forever.” Tomorrow, When the War Began

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Billionaire right now. When will be the day I won’t have to lie about that? I’d be a Republican.

Lunalesca. That means either a; I’ll always be lying about history. It’ll become all 1984. Then there’s B, as in billionaire, big breasts, maybe even bringing back B. Futurama (sigh). Didn’t I talk last week about being forgetful? And now the things being remembered, Lu. And no, I can’t blame St. Patrick’s Day. The only thing I was drinking was my tears because my eyes hurt. And holding back gushing all over… well, I know a lot of pretty girls. Ha! Um, knowing them might be subjective. Even this morning’s conversations Luna. There was a time, Lunalesca, I would already be up and about, looking for Braxton. Today’s without purpose. The Zoe Colletti/Tifa Lockhart Incident on January 11, 2022. And The Cherry Collision Thursday, February 16, 2023. Will I quit?

If I’m going to keep going back to those days, along with Sunday, January 31, 2021. And Saturday, August 16, 2022. Again I ask, which day will I become a billionaire? Oh, look at the time. Hell! Whenever I think about time, it’s between being sick and healthy, Lady Lu. You know Lu. I still hate that Stevie Wonder song “Someday at Christmas.” We don’t need “it” at Christmas but now. Right now! Health, Happiness, and Hedonism. But I can’t have that. If anything, like I, said last night. I’d settle for being naked in bed, eating a hot bowl of chicken noodle soup with a Sprite. Give me a slice of Strawberry cake for dessert too. But it’s Saturday or Challenge Day. Well, my ass is kicked. Yet again.

“Nothing’s difficult. Everything’s a challenge. Through adversity to the stars. From the last plane to the last bullet to the last minute to the last man – we fight. WE fight! We FIGHT!” – Joe ‘Lightning’ Little, Red Tails (2012)

More like getting punched in the dick, Lady Lunalesca but TMI? Jesus effing Christ. Lunalesca, did Virgil think that when I “chose” him? I keep having to remind myself of the brown fur around his eyes. There are the three black spots… reminders of Braxton, And I remember telling Braxton’s Aunt. It was like Braxton himself spoke to me, Lunalesca. “Daddy, I can’t make this more black and white.” I should go all Michael Jackson, Luna. I was about to make a crappy joke about Michael. But then, how much was MJ worth? How about at the moment? My Braxton is worth everything. And on a Saturday morning, I watched it slip from these hands. Another Saturday, I effed up Virgil Vivi’s Universe. And for today? It’ll B Saturday, Virgil.

“I said if you’re thinking of being my baby
It don’t matter if you’re Black or White
I said if you’re thinking of being my brother
It don’t matter if you’re Black or White”
Michael Jackson – Black or White

776 Days Without B III, Day 217 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 253 ~To B Forgetful Virgil~

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I look to Braxton’s bowl, not Virgil’s. There’s the corner of the counter where there are B’s meds. In the fridge, there’s a bag of Braxton’s food. It’s a few years old. But yeah, I got Virgil. And what else is on my plate? To B Forgetful Virgil

Saturday, March 11, 2023

Saga 253 ~To B Forgetful Virgil~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Billionaire right now. That doesn’t buy… “just one peaceful night… a clean conscience.” Choosing to remember or forget, Lunalesca?

Dog food? I still have a bag of Braxton’s sitting in the fridge. Meanwhile, I’ll probably have to Doordash more for Virgil. Sad to say, it’s not that I’m lazy or that I even forgot. No, Lady Lunalesca. It’s that I just don’t care. Well, I’m not letting him starve, am I? But you know how people were all WWJD. “What Would Jesus Do?” Whatever happened to that Lady Lunalesca? Fucking GQP! And what’s that new group that’s out, “HeGetsUs.” Anyway, as I say BLM, Braxton’s Life Matters. WDBN or What Does Braxton Need, Lu. With V, it could be I’m a selfish bastard. Or a terrified one. I got more of the prescription deodorant. I’m sure nobody’s forgotten my Humiliation at my granddaddy’s funeral.

I then fall back on my son’s death as the worst thing I’ve ever done. Talk about emotional support. And what about the fact that I haven’t changed his picture in months, Lady Lunalesca? Don’t I miss him? And do I want Virgil to join him? I need medication. But so does Virgil. I was talking to Lady Sophia yesterday about Virgil lying here. Annoyed? You bet I am. When I wake up, I want to forget who he is and imagine he’s B III. That’s something else I can’t forget. Every morning, realizing I haven’t joined B wherever he is. Did I forget that I’m not going to Heaven? Condemning Braxton to Hell, Lunalesca? Hell! I forgot how to live when I turned seven.

“What in tarhooties” became “what the hell?” And now, “What The Fuck” am I doing? Well, other than wanting to fuck. I have three rubber bands on my wrist Lunalesca. Comedy comes in threes, so say they. But in all honesty, I wear two because of my bandanna. In the time of COVID and I needed to make it back to Braxton no matter what. Only with The Zoe Colletti/Tifa Lockhart Incident on January 11, 2022. And The Cherry Collision Thursday, February 16, 2023. Dammit! I’m sick. Drugs, Disease, Death? Lunalesca, the third rubber band, reminds me of all the tits I ain’t seeing. I got videos; Cherry, Starlets… I wish I had more of Somebody That I Used To Know. To B Forgetful Virgil

769 Days Without B III, Day 210 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Lesson 356 ~Words You Can Bank~

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You can’t get rid of words, while money is another story there are always more words to say and for me always more words to write even with my anniversary coming up, a whole year of things I shouldn’t speak, how about The End? Words You Can Bank

Friday, June 22, 2018

Lesson 356 ~Words You Can Bank~

Hey Lady Sophia,
Can You Love Me Again, how about next year, maybe in July, hell how about “tomorrow,” another one of my favorite words going with “someday” and “discombobulated,” they aren’t getting me anywhere, but they feel great to say? Well more to the point write and in a week I will have been doing it for a year, talk about passion, desire, stupidity and everything else, and I wonder why I write as always, but words make me feel good, why writing’s HARD.

For example “Okay” doesn’t like nasty names and at the same time words like, beautiful or sexy get me nowhere, but it all starts with knowing their name and wasn’t the point of all this for people to know my name? “Block and Report” are two more of my favorites, or maybe I have gullible written on my forehead, but then I wouldn’t have to do so much for my protection. Now that might be something will talk about next week, why I got into this blog but that’s more words that make me feel bad, but the one I have been attempting to take back is my name, so yes my name is Will.

Writing that complaint against Church’s Chicken today while a waste of time was pretty good, Subway threw in a couple of sandwiches and how I hate looking at receipts nowadays. How about the feeling I’ll get if I ever see my name in something published, I found some of my old books, and there was a bit of pride, like seeing your name on a paycheck before you realize how many bills you have to pay. I think one thing that has been consistent these months is I Will Have No Fear; it’s not helping.

The dog’s barks do more for me to be honest and while annoying as Hell, it means, he’s still alive, and he’s keeping me alive but my problem is so many people waste air on words, and there is one more reason I’m a writer. Don’t you remember what it felt like when people use to text, the same with email most days it’s only more words, and I want my words to mean something?

The more words I write or I should say published will give me more time to think of sequels, but for now, the best words in all of writing history that bring me joy and make me feel the best about my writing are The End, Words You Can Bank.

I Will Have No Fear

Lesson 349 ~There Are Better Stories~

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Everybody has a story but how many stories are people telling, how many of those stories are being believed, how many of those stories are living and breathing, though to live one of my stories; I know I’ll do better. “There Are Better Stories.”

Friday, June 15, 2018

Lesson 349 ~There Are Better Stories~

Hey Lady Sophia,
Can You Love Me Again, once I tell you that I can write better stories, I believe I can, I know I can and excuse me if I sound like “Mr. Motivation” here, but there is always another way to hear stories of another’s success. You heard me right Lady Sophia, stories, not that I’m getting into audiobooks, remember “The Scarlet Letter” if you could stay awake for that one you passed the test but never again.

“Sleep is the new broke.” ― Eric Thomas, on sleep

You know how I feel about sleep, every night I tell myself stories to help me sleep, I don’t remember being the little kid with a teddy bear and a parent to regale me with fairytales while I lie in bed. Is that why it’s taken me so long to get out of bed because I’m always waiting and a part of me thinks I need to give people something to read, but not my parents, and don’t think I’m becoming bitter again, remember when I first joined up with TIBU? It would be easy to become upset with “Indiana Gone,” “Okay,” Cherry,” “M Anime” but the bitch, of course, made me feel “sorry” about my words, hell I don’t share my favorite book with anybody because I need it.

“In this country, you gotta make the money first. Then when you get the money, you get the power. Then when you get the power, then you get the women.” ― Tony Montana Scarface (1983)

Now I could tell you I want to write to make money, whatever that sounds like to you but another reason I need to write is so I can sleep, I have more than enough stories to put me to bed, I want a story to keep me awake. Last fiction I read… okay watched like that was “Detroit: Become Human.” Am I ever going to let that go,? One day maybe but it’s not my favorite. There are better, any story that’s not in my head for starters. Stories that I see on my laptop screen, better are stories I see on print, stories that I see in green, that only require my signature, or I take to bed because everybody has a tale.

Mine come harder because as they say a picture is worth a thousand words and yes I continue to hate that concept but to get to that point I have to write the words for now and then I can sleep. How’s that for motivation, I’ve been listening to so many speeches and these men work so they can live a life they dream about honestly maybe that should be me too, but I would do damn near anything for some time to sleep peacefully.

The strange thing about this is my stories don’t put me to sleep, not while I’m writing them at least. Still, There Are Better Stories.

I Will Have No Fear