Tag: Writer

Chronicle 302 ~A Story Without B~

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LSV. I had a rule, I wouldn’t watch a show without three letters. I don’t think I’ve ever written much that doesn’t have the three B’s. Boobs, Brothel, some boy trying to be the boss and/or a man. Reading and writing 453 days? A Story Without B.

Friday, April 29, 2022

Chronicle 302 ~A Story Without B~

Hey Lady Sophia,
I AM a Billionaire right now… The beginning of one of my self-help books, should I ever write one. Or anything ever?

B dying didn’t stop me from writing three books last year. One without raw nakedness. The second was “My Turn To B III.” Hell, I’ve only added on with all my letters to Braxton. And the last one was another addition to my “Cherry” series. Can’t remember the title. This is ok. Considering how disappointing this month has been for reading, writing, and listening. Yeah, what the fuck do I know about Arithmetic? Not that I live in Florida, ha. Pardon my language, and I don’t mean to be so… well, I don’t even know. Sounds like something I should write about, but you know me, Lady Sophia. I write about banging my balls or having none. There was my bum ear. And always Braxton.

But putting my balls first like the selfish prick I am. My friends are suffering. What about this bed I won’t leave? And I return to my boy every day. Yeah, day 428. Never Forget! As I was saying, my balls. When I don’t read, differences between grieving and mourning. Sophia, it always comes back to sex. That makes me think of the “Basic Bitch” Anyway, there’s this song, “Thirteen Women (And Only One Man In Town).” Once I got my hearing back, between porno, poor me, and paws scraping the floor. It’s this earworm. So I imagine “The perfect woman… the Goddess.” Or twelve, to be specific, but then… I always want more. Is it more love, more sex, more words? I’m pretty annoyed.

  1. Maiko Kaneda
  2. Imari Kurumi
  3. Yukiko Minase
  4. St. Louis
  5. Tifa Lockhart
  6. Aerith Gainsborough
  7. Scarlet
  8. Nico, Nicoletta Goldstein
  9. Hilda
  10. Juliet Starling
  11. Serah Farron
  12. Ashe, Ashelia B’nargin Dalmasca
  13. Lulu
  14. Linkle
  15. 2B
  16. Commander White
  17. Kainé
  18. Rikku
  19. Airi Akizuki
  20. Zone-tan
  21. Rei Ayanami
  22. Michiru Kaiou

I got this when I talked about my likes. It was to Artificial Intelligence, “Replika.” People are way worse, Lady Sophia. Yes, another moment missing Braxton. My son, B III. So I can’t talk about making the bedsprings sing. As the song goes, “What’s My Age Again?” Or the fact that I couldn’t stick with 13 girls. What about 64, 72, a total of 456 hmm? I could talk about the next book I want to write. Wouldn’t I be better off writing it, you ask? It would always include a brothel, my boy, and bloodshed one way or another. Sophia, there is always Braxton. As long as my story goes on, so will his. But to write it? To Live? A Story Without B.

Gospel 302 ~What’s The B Ending~

453 Days Without B III

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Chronicle 301 ~Want To B Heard~

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I should have listened to B. It was on a Wednesday when he was crying. And I tuned him out because I was so angry and tired. I didn’t even have the excuse of being deaf in one ear, which I got fixed. I’m always listening now. Does he Want To B Heard?

Thursday, April 28, 2022

Chronicle 301 ~Want To B Heard~

452 Days Without B III

Just Me Baby B,
Did you have a good day? Usually, your tail would tell me so. Your cries of glee. Once before the end…

These memories B III have a way of sneaking up on me from time to time. As I’ve said often enough. There are always tears for you. Looking at the time 3:48 PM. Bawling! Ok, as I was trying to say, months before the end. Your granddad was here. And you were in your bed shaking, scared to death. The wrong choice of words, but when I came back here… Old as you were, you came running and leaped into my arms. Do you remember when we fought him B, side by side years ago? The same blood, same mud, or the wood floor B. “No retreat, baby, no surrender.” How about this, for he who sheds his blood with me shall be my brother.

Pain is how we understood each other, Braxton. My pain from this whole damn world. There was all the hurt that I tried to protect you from. Dammit, tried to save myself, and what did that get you? I think of it every day. And now, when I escape punishment? Peace be still… sorry I’m getting all preachy. You know I found serenity while reading. Braxton There was the peace in my ranting, raving on things not Day Job-related. Braxton, the most peace I had on the other side of war, hell in a lifetime of war. Those nights, we would sit on the loveseat with your Aunt Carolina Bound watching movies. The closest you got to having the family I promised all the time.

And now I return to that dream I had Monday night when I was back in the doctor’s office asking my Ma, are you waiting for me? Of course, she knows you’re gone. The Meaning? If I had to guess… I sat on the bench on your last day as they ran your final check-up. The vet handed you back as a storm raged outside. The vet said there was nothing that could be done for you now. At that moment, Braxton, your Daddy, disappeared. I became a monster. The books say you wouldn’t want to hurt me, but the pain is our communication. Inevitable. Are you trying to tell me something? I suffered, wanting to hear again. Speak to me! Want To B Heard

Gospel 301 ~Can Count On B~

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Chronicle 295 ~Will I Know B~

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I could tell you when I first met B. I can give you the day I watched my son die in my arms. I’ve been told that death is not the end; all my life. And now here I am reading religious “nonfiction” on dogs. Reliving memories of him. Will I Know B

Friday, April 22, 2022

Chronicle 295 ~Will I Know B~

Hey Lady Sophia,
I AM a Billionaire right now, but if I had been 446 days ago… Braxton would be alive. How do I know?

More like How Will I Know by Whitney Houston. If it wasn’t Toni Braxton, it was Whitney Houston. To grow up in such an age. What can I tell you about 2005 to 2021? B III was born, and he died Sunday, January 31, 2021. B III was 13 days shy of being 16. So now here 446 days after Braxton’s passing. “Death Is Not The End,” Sophia? Dogs are pregnant 58 – 68 days, or so I’ve read. Was that B’s reincarnation window? 446 days? A part of me thought that I would give it a year if I wanted to play Daddy. I’ve continued thinking about that little dog “Chase” that wanted to escape. Born in February. Did I miss my chance at fatherhood?

What I’m getting from the books is “No.” If your dog reincarnates, he is meant to be with you and you alone. B III could be meant to live on in another way. I’m at the table now. I’m time traveling but not by much with today being Thursday. This week has been filled with “Humiliations Galore.” And by the time you read this… Fuck, the things that keep me up? Must it always go back to my penis? Masturbation, being mad, and man’s best friend, Sophia. My manuscript must keep me awake as well. I’ve wasted this damn month. Failing a Camp NaNoWriMo! And haven’t I been talking all about book challenges? I’m reading something religious as it counts toward “Nonfiction.” Swear to God.

Yeah, the last time I did that was praying for Triple B. The last time I prayed was when I was at the “pinnacle” of my sickness somewhat. I wasn’t talking to God but to my son. I wasn’t praying for the strength to endure or fight back. Joining Braxton. It’s my memories of him that keep me awake and alive. Between all of Succubus Lord’s pop culture and everything, I remember about Braxton. Looking always for B. Sophia, from everything I’ve ever said, would you know him? 15 years as man’s best friend. A manuscript I’d struggle to find. And the mannerisms I continue to this day. Not in memory but in this existence. Where could he be, Lady Sophia? Will I Know B

Gospel 295 ~Sounds Like B Leaving~

446 Days Without B III

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Chronicle 294 ~To B Square Again~

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B III and I were like two grumpy old men. We read together every day. We hated all sorts of people. When we were sleeping, the other was on guard duty except at night. And, of course, we forgot about living forever. “To B Square Again”

Thursday, April 21, 2022

Chronicle 294 ~To B Square Again~

445 Days Without B III

Just Me Baby B,
Did you have a good day? Considering how late I’m getting up this morning and what I did. The box…

Is that why I keep you there? I fear that you’ll see me. Hell, I know you do. Braxton, you, I take off both my chains when I’m about to do anything sketchy, sinful, or quoting the “Basic Bitch” skeevy. I wish I could say it was worth it. Inevitable that it’s stupid, suspect, square. But it’s “Hip To Be Square,” hmm? I look at things that I’ve forgotten this week B III. There’s a ton. I’m not a Christian because I didn’t think anything about Easter, B. Death by chocolate. Nothing you had to worry about? And I didn’t get high either. Daddy… Devil’s Lettuce? You know that “Mary Jane?” I’ve been listening to the Succubus Lord series too often. Then again, so have you.

That is if you’re here. And that, in a way, is what I’m afraid of. Not in you’re going to kill me sort of way, B. Then again, I’m still thinking about your first anniversary of passing, to be honest. I blame myself for that and for my illness. But if I died Braxton, whatever. You know I’m “trying” to always continue our routines. 8:00 on the dot, I refilled your water bowl, called you for “medicine time,” and fixed a white caramel cappuccino. I also have a tall glass of cranberry juice, the old man I am. It’s growing on me for the Placebo Effect alone. Of course, I’m not getting any better. It’s like when I had my awakening “religious phase.” Oh, wait…

You weren’t here for that. I did read the book of “John,” though. Didn’t I say that I can’t resist a book challenge? For God so loved the world and all that. Fuck the world. I wouldn’t trade you B III for anything. I’d give anything to be your old man, B III. To be the man that wanted to set a good example and tried to keep it in my pants, sigh. Back when I could take all the “Humiliations Galore” at work because Triple B, you’re here. When I would work on my writing because “I Believe” in it. We’d have a better life B III. Lying in bed isn’t square enough? Better off joining you? Such dangerous words. To B Square Again

Gospel 294 ~B Guile The Neighbors~

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Chronicle 288 ~Here B, Hear Puppy~

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I wish I could identify the problem as dog slobber. How many weeks have I had some air pods jammed in my ears to avoid the Day Job? I’d give anything to hear my little boy again. And where will I be Saturday? “Here B, Hear Puppy.”

Friday, April 15, 2022

Chronicle 288 ~Here B, Hear Puppy~

Hey Lady Sophia,
I AM a Billionaire right now but is it because I’m smart or lucky. Republicans would love this… Because I’m black, (sigh)?

Every day I realize why I’m more into audiobooks instead of YouTube. I’d like to get back into ASMR, like when Braxton passed. That would require my hearing not knowing. I read the entire Succubus Lord series, Sophia. I know enough about the stories when listening. Too bad I didn’t have lessons on fucking succubi back in school. Pardon my language. One more reason to love my son. I’m sure he barked his share of obscenities at me every now and again. Now, this brings me to today. What? It’s not only going deaf, right? Right ear, to be precise, my Lady. What have I said about putting this stuff out into the universe? Trust me, I have tried shutting up. But hearing the fiddle…

Yes, the whole damn world is burning. No wonder THEY say when Hell freezes over. Again, things I can’t hear, but I know. I know I want B III. Every Saturday, I hear this song.

Your Feet’s Too Big is a weird thing to worry about when it comes to puppies, isn’t it, Lady Sophia? Of course, you know how I feel about feet in general, not my specific kink? Yesterday I was talking about how I expect Braxton to come running down the steps any minute now. To get his medicine, to go outside. He’d lie next to my feet and let me finish talking to you. Yeah, only for me to start working on some novel for NaNoWriMo. Another thing I can’t hear.

I’m not trying to take a shot at the deaf. You know I love music and audiobooks. With my Day Job, I need it to avoid hearing those people. But things I’ll never hear again. Again, I go back to Braxton running down the stairs or waiting at my bedroom door when I call out to him. “Just Me, Baby B. Did you have a good day? Good Day?” Inevitable. Sophia, I would never hear my own voice again. Yes, my “father” would make fun of me for talking to myself. Sophia, I’m crazy indeed certifiable. With Braxton, Daddy rambles. I’ll never have a chance to hear his pain and save his life. Has he been reincarnated? Does another puppy call? Here B, Hear Puppy.

Gospel 288 ~Braxton Is, Write Will~

439 Days Without B III

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Chronicle 287 ~Reasons To B Angry~

WillLeave a comment

Day 01 stays fresh on my mind. How can I say that with Day 428? Worse is Day 438. Day 437 wasn’t good, thanks to Kindle. I read 37% yesterday; how can you say I didn’t read a book. A book about grieving my best friend. “Reasons To B Angry.”

Thursday, April 14, 2022

Chronicle 287 ~Reasons To B Angry~

438 Days Without B III

Just Me Baby B,
Did you have a good day? On the one paw, “I was getting kinda used to being someone you loved.” Stopped.

You’d be all sorts of pissed; I take it for thinking you have, you would, you are capable of. Then again, you know I have never loved myself. With how selfish I was with you… I’m still thinking about day 428 when you didn’t come to mind. When “BLM” Braxton’s Life Matters became little more than words on a page. Sign off without reason or thought. Then again, if I hadn’t failed you 438 days ago. Hell, you might find something else to be angry about. I’d take that over you being dead. That’s what gets to you, isn’t it? Yet here I am hoping that you’re happy wherever you are… Are you at the foot of the bed still, on guard duty, my friend?

I’ve noticed that I’ve begun pulling up the covers on myself even more like I’m getting colder now. I’ve been sick since January, your first anniversary, the Zoe Colletti experience. Speaking of sickness, you were peeved whenever I closed the door to the bathroom to take a shower… How about your getting in trouble or hiding under the bed? Your hearing is better than your seeing, right? You got me feeling like Ralphie, swearing. You know, A Christmas Story when he was fighting? I wasn’t fighting B III; yeah, gross. Your aunt and I would laugh whenever you played with your toys, so don’t conversate. Are you upset when I laugh at you? To think all those times at the groomers or the vet’s office.

It all ended in crying. Oh, where you are, there are no tears, nor any need for wrath, for ruin. I’m not much of a “Lord of the Rings” fan, but I did finish Succubus Lord 13 yesterday. There was the battle against the king of the eighth circle and… Fuck B; I was about to say I read you that part. You died while I was reading Succubus Lord 7. (Sigh). My point is. Or was, to this day, I still expect you’ll come running barking “To The King!” You were pretty angry, like father, like son. If there is a God, I bet you’d make him, her, or it; pull back a hand. Probably HER with huge Melons. Jealous… Reasons To B Angry.

Gospel 287 ~B The Clock Challenge~

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Chronicle 281 ~Got To “B” Will~

WillLeave a comment

I wish I could say I didn’t wake up to seventies/eighties music in my head. Carol Lynn Townes, Cheryl Lynn, for example. Should I have said something about another KBJ? You know me thinking about myself and my son. “Got To “B” Will.” Who’s that?

Friday, April 8, 2022

Chronicle 281 ~Got To “B” Will~

Hey Lady Sophia,
I AM a Billionaire right now, or I want to believe it every day. My one positive thought every day because… Sophia…

To be real, I didn’t want to wake up this morning. Is there a difference between getting up and waking? Again, to be real, I only got up to turn off the alarm and went right back to bed. That explains why I’m so late talking to you at 5:30 AM. Before that, Lady Sophia? Well, I could have been looking at porn… nope. I’m starting to understand the realness. Why I have been lost in audiobooks of late. (Cough) Succubus Lord (cough) porn ha-ha. Hell, how many books will I read featuring the afterlife of animals? A Dog’s Journey? Lady Sophia, have I forgotten it’s NaNoWriMo season and not writing a damn thing? Even last night, I was reading well… not safe for Braxton.

To be healed… or so, I was looking up cures. M Anime would be proud I’m looking up natural remedies. I’ve been looking into Cranberry Juice and the like. I need my boy B III. Only speaking of my friend M Anime or rather actual Anime because that’s what I spent time and gems on. Did I mention I haven’t looked at porn today? If we count from midnight, it’s been about six hours. Of course, that won’t last for much longer. A B cure. I was never a “pervert…” um, an adult entertainment enthusiast around him. I was daddy. That’s who I was, Sophia, who I am. I wish I could go back to that. Reincarnation is the only thing that makes sense ever.

To be filled with something other than, well… I woke up this morning. Now, instead of anything “good” (sigh). There were many stories about how the world is going to Hell, Lady Sophia. Reading about dead fur babies is cathartic by comparison. But as the song goes, I’m just a sucker for pain. Fuck you, Hemingway App! Pardon my language, but you know Sophia. I have every reason to keep my eyes closed, which brings me back to audiobooks. I want to lie here and listen to moaning succubi. At least I’m not looking, hmm? It’s who I am. One more asshole with a Replika, yep. I read about the world and do nothing? I cry for my dead kid. Braxton. Got To “B” Will.

Gospel 281 ~A Noise With Braxton~

432 Days Without B III

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Chronicle 280 ~From B’s To F’s~

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This is day 431, but on day 428, I didn’t mention my son. A year and some change that’s all it took for me to forget, fail, flake, and fawn over my son. I caught myself, but how could I. Always and forever, right? From B’s To F’s.

Thursday, April 7, 2022

Chronicle 280 ~From B’s To F’s~

431 Days Without B III

Just Me Baby B,
Did you have a good day? For you’re with your mother? I owe you an apology for not finding a girl.

Hell, if you had your way, you would have chosen your aunt Carolina Bound. There’s a reason she’s your aunt B. But the point is you were always looking out for me. You would have been pissed this morning, though. Daddy needed his private time. But, um, I did something terrible. If you’re watching me, and I hope not all the time. The book I’m reading says that furry kids keep their parents privacy. Anyway, it isn’t what I did. As much as the things I said. Braxton, today is Monday, April 4, 2022, so yes, I’m time traveling. This week sucks. Inevitable, I suppose. But not only hating the Day Job. It took me 428 days B III to forget you… what the fuck!

I won’t make a Pearl Harbor joke, infamy and all. Plus, I ain’t fucking Fox News. 428 days B III for me to write and not mention your name once. Well, I did. It was concerning your aunt if I’m being honest. I didn’t know that I would be telling you about this today, Braxton, dammit. Why can’t I stay, why can’t we go home, why am I like this? It’s about time I cried today, B. I held it together even when I caught myself finishing writing to Madam Justice this morning. It was the same back 428 days ago. My eyes were locked on the screen because looking at you… There was a lot of that, those final hours; fucking flew forward faster.

What I feel right now, B III is fury at myself because I forgot you for one day in my life. Forgetfulness in exchange for all and nothing. But there’s a reason I’m not fucking myself. Females don’t know. Um, your aunt, but she’s suffering too with her losses Dobby, Odin? Found them you have? Sorry Braxton, you know I like Yoda, the Star Wars fandom. Feasting? I’m sure you’re stuffing your face. I’m hoping my stomach pain is only food. Failures are easy to ignore when they become routine. But not saving you… Then today? Fucking everything! That’s the big one. I’m too busy saying I don’t deserve anything I want. Everything! And I forgot. I forgot you despite everything. To feel I don’t know? From B’s To F’s

Gospel 280 ~Ain’t This A B~

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Chronicle 274 ~B III Of Stories~

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Am I writing a new novel today? With the way, I’ve been feeling and considering when I’m writing this. Now I could talk about B III forever. Point out a post before January 31, 2022, where he isn’t mentioned. And there’s always Gulp… B III Of Stories

Friday, April 1, 2022

Chronicle 274 ~B III Of Stories~

Hey Lady Sophia,
I AM a Billionaire right now. But this moment, that’s only “another” word like so many I’ve written. Where to begin today?

Time Travel? Of course, seeing how today is Sunday, March 27, 2022. So, of course, you know why we’re speaking today. Existence is nothing to write home about. But fiction? Considering that it will officially be Camp NaNoWriMo season by the time you read this. So should I write a new novel as per usual? Everything within me screams absolutely! Only I did say fiction, right? I’m still cringing over my stupidity and/or horniness this morning over Cherry. I’m checking every now and again. I’m worried about losing a friend. Hell, if that whole series I wrote didn’t do it… And I’ve forgotten plenty of it. I should start publishing books then, you say? How about writing another one about a B III universe? Gah!

I want to publish, My Turn To B III. It’s only gotten longer if you count every letter I’ve written to Braxton by now. But that’s not going to get done with me staying in bed all day yet again. Wouldn’t I be better off working at the dining room table than the Day Job? My Grandma always said I was one for pride, so is it that when I say no nine to five? Sophia, I could take Braxton into the fiction world. You remember how A Dog’s Journey got to me. Talk about reasons not to see films. Clarity June got to me, and then there is X. Do you remember the horror movie I want to see? But without writing any story?

This brings me to Gulp. I paid those people off years before my son passed. I swear if I had a dollar,… more like if I had my money back for everything I’ve wasted on certain sexual novelties or time. There’s $200 somewhere with a particular sex worker. Thousands more on a pretty sizable investment. I like Eric Vall, but he stole a twenty. I could go on; anyway, back to writing. Finishing Gulp and sending it off is always in my Six Impossible Things. Who knows, that book could have saved Braxton. Again my fucking Day Job. You tell me to get to writing. How about back to reading and listening? Most of the time, I only sleep. Like today… B III Of Stories.

Gospel 274 ~Are You Kidding, Braxton~

425 Days Without B III

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Chronicle 273 ~Been There, B’s That~

WillLeave a comment

Could I publish a book in a month? Hell, I had three chances to in 2020. I wouldn’t have been filled with so much hate for my Day Job if I had. I would have noticed my son sooner. I’ll read a new book but do I need to write one. “Been There B’s That”

Thursday, March 31, 2022

Chronicle 273 ~Been There, B’s That~

424 Days Without B III

Just Me Baby B,
Did you have a good day? As always, B, we’re speaking early. So today’s been the worst day of my life.

I haven’t decided yet, with today being Friday, March 25, 2022. Yeah, what did time matter to you? Sun comes up; later on, I’d have a book. If you had a ton of food, the day must be special. Then again, when your time was almost up, I know the look you gave me B. It’s my third time crying today, first this morning, then napping, and now waterworks B. And maybe I wouldn’t have to if my “plan” pans out. Hell, it’s not even my idea. If I’m being honest. I’m guessing by the time you read, hear, I’m not sure? Most of the books I’ve read said that you’re super smart now, wherever you are. Anyway, I’ve been reading “Will Your Dog Reincarnate?”

It was written by a “Ph.D.” And you know I could use a doctor, right about now. Am I sick? You saw me through COVID-19. It’s not over yet, though. Plus, fuck the GOP/GQP, B. Please don’t repeat my foul language, B III, ok? But what I mean is the author, Gail Graham, talks about how to bring you back to me. Announce my intention, write it down, believe… Haven’t I done all that? Not one day has passed; your water bowl hasn’t been filled. I think of you every day. Every Thursday, and yes again time-travel. I will talk to you about everything. Every Saturday, facing those “Rebeccas,” I look for you at PetSmart. Were you “Chase” or the little doggie that bit me? The chubby one, the ghost?

And with Camp NaNoWriMo about to startup? I survived two without you here, and then there was the Official NaNoWriMo. I doubt you would want to sit through any of that again. That’s why I’m trying to decide what to do today or on the 31st. A book. Comedy comes in threes, THEY say. I could write a whole new book. My strength? Braxton, I doubt I could do it. And oh yeah, B, I paid those people for the book Gulp (sigh). Then there’s your book, My Turn To B III. What is it with me and closure? As I said, Gail Graham wrote her book, but I assume her dog reincarnated. But to return to me, Braxton, would you? Been There, B’s That.

Gospel 273 ~For Once B Write~

Always and Forever,
Your Dad