Yes My Ear

You never see the monster until there’s time to make the trip to that upper room but then again I’m probably going to Hell as often as I keep my head down. Yes My Ear, someone told me to play it by ear because to see what’s coming

I’m “Alive”!
Black or white, in living color, “Live!”
or so the heart appears
in the eyes, on the touch, in the beat of another
Always undercover
Ashamed, it remains unclear

if I am running or hiding
Do I have what it takes to keep surviving
Yes, my feet persevere
Only I can’t look down, I won’t look back
Because I don’t know if I could handle that
Whenever people come near

Am I a sheep
a lion, who’s roar I must keep
like any secret near and dear
Better to be a live chicken than a dead duck
Wanting to scream… what today I’m out of luck
as the fear

makes me into a Mime
I look at my watch thinking it’s time
To have a voice, like Shaka Zulu and his spear
So I have but a pen
with but to write every virtue and every sin
words that won’t disappear

Though if I were to write the future
there would be fewer
bombs, “Hurricanes”, Kamikazes here
And of Rocket 69?
Well I’m not blind
Suppose I should cheer

the fact I have not seen Elysium
entered Heaven at a premium
Oh to be like Katniss and volunteer
My tribute to courage, to live brave and best
Just say yes
Play it by ear

Copyright © 2017, Will A. Bradford Jr. All rights reserved.

 

Lesson 069 ~For A Reasonable Apocalypse~

Not too big, not too small, not too nothing, I mean who says no to free pizza at any point, I will remain silent on pineapple but I wish I could say more about yesterday. For “A Reasonable Apocalypse”, just another day I survived of course.

Friday, September 8, 2017

Lesson 069 ~For A Reasonable Apocalypse~

“I’m a reasonable guy. But, I’ve just experienced some very unreasonable things.” Jack Burton, Big Trouble in Little China (1986)

Hey Lady Lu,
No Fear, it isn’t that kind of lesson, though in a way I thought it would be or so I was hoping but no, the world is the same as before, I’m a little older, dare I say a little wiser? I figured I would be busier tomorrow, no promises to stop the innuendo but I would have been better off talking to you yesterday, I had all the time in the world for an apocalypse, just a small one I guess.

Most days I would have been in bed, my personal cave, just hoping the day would go away, this is one of the problems with leaving the cave, you figure there is something out there in the world. You have high hopes and then… personally, I don’t know how I feel about yesterday other than the fact that I’m glad it’s over. The most exciting thing that has happened to me is I thought I lost Braxton, and I already growing so forgetful already, sad.

So I count up the wins, nothing like last year, of course, a Pizza Hut coupon for Cinnamon Sticks which is probably no good, I did get free pizza from “Indiana Gone” and some other snacks because she got stuck at work, plus she got her young Padawan to sing to me. “M Anime” sent money, “Okay” went to Amazon, and two “working girls” sent their regards, I knew I was forgetting to erase my name from somewhere. I have a coupon for a small popcorn at my movie theater, and even my mother sent a few words, knowing how I would be feeling about one of her biggest mistakes.

As for minuses, “Gospel Girl” forgot all about me and I wasn’t going to remind her of course, my “father” sent the worse words in the world but that’s him being him, and a “working girl” I actually called the day of, forgot me as well. In case you didn’t know, I hate that damn day, hell I hate this whole month, and I would say the worse is over but is it ever really over, getting paid to sit on my ass but that’s if I made any amount to be bragging about ever.

“I feel the earth move under my feet
I feel the sky tumbling down, tumbling down
I feel my heart start to trembling
Whenever you’re around”
sung by Carole King, I Feel The Earth Move

So what have we learned today, my world wasn’t rocked, when you think you hear the voice of the Almighty you might just be talking to yourself, and people mean well but you’re better off being the lone survivor, wanderer, whatever from the Fallout series. Some days it pays to just ride it out in your cave and just think some “For A Reasonable Apocalypse”.

Just remember what ol’ Jack Burton does when the earth quakes and the poison arrows fall from the sky, and the pillars of Heaven shake. Yeah, Jack Burton just looks that big ol’ storm right square in the eye and he says, “Give me your best shot, pal. I can take it.”
Jack Burton, Big Trouble in Little China (1986)

I Will Have No Fear

At The Age of Occasional Wellness

What’s my age again, what’s my age again, the dog and I are old men without a doubt and I wonder what his life goals were, better his than mine, because he at least has a chance I suppose? “At The Age of Occasional Wellness”

What big I’s you got?
The better to see no one’s coming
but if you expected nothing…
At any time, you can stop
looking and maybe jot
this down to one more day of succumbing
to your greatest sin, becoming
more “hopeful” in your old age and that’s a lot

Because what big zeros you see
There aren’t a lot, quality over quantity
Honestly
know your place, keep your place and be
a shoe, and that’s not a big number, but geez
it beats your age and keeps out the laughter of this comedy
Walking away from your curiosity
Zero to hero, there’s the possibility

These words, these words, these words, big and small
might as well be on other planets
or thrown away by the force of habit
Maybe not even written at all
That is why there are so many places to fall
Oops, oh my, ow, tragic
There is no need to can it
I’d say if there were anyone to call

then what’s with all the holes
cause I got enemies, got a lot of enemies
my wishes, dreams, and quite a few deities
better known as girls, when I would rather sell my soul
for any margin of control
of my mental facilities
At the age of thirty-three
It was never a life goal

Only obeying, obtaining, obsessing over, obvious occasions occasionally okay

Copyright © 2017, Will A. Bradford Jr. All rights reserved.

Lesson 068 ~See Who, The Oracle~

Hopefully, I’ll have something else to tell you, a good past for once and an uncertain future which is why this is nothing new, I’ll be indisposed hopefully living a dream. “See Who, The Oracle” if only someone actually saw the future

Thursday, September 7, 2017

Lesson 068 ~See Who, The Oracle~

Hey Lady Lu,
No Fear that I am back again so soon my dear, I don’t know if I can set this for tomorrow or today but it has to be done given certain events that I’m not even sure of yet. Things I do know are that I’ll probably have no time to fill you in but my sister’s birthday might work but until that day we can only speculate and I don’t want to, beats the past right?

Yes, I’m going to talk about the past, so where was I on this day, a year ago… I remember watching “The Twilight Saga: Eclipse” with “Okay”, just when I think I’m becoming a better man. Speaking of being a better man, that was also the day I took “Indiana Gone” to the movies, the first time it an amazingly long time I actually was out with anyone. We came back to my place, ate pizza watched “Secret Girlfriend”, “Repo Men” and “Extreme Movie” and I tell you this Luna because I don’t want to forget that day ever. Also, we weren’t even speaking you and me, an oversight on my part to be sure.

“You make me want to be a better man.” As Good as It Gets (1997)

I don’t see it happening Lady Lu, I keep saying I’m going out there, I’m fighting the fight and yet the world continues as so. If my mother could have predicted the man I would be today… maybe she would have tried harder, talk about where I get my fighting spirit from. If I was blessed with a gift of prophecy, well chances are I would have finished what I started so many years ago I think. Of course, we have last year which for the most part put every other day like this to shame, even if I were a lecher to a degree.

“High school is a lot like prison: Bad food, high fences; the sex you want, you ain’t gettin’, the sex you gettin’, you don’t want. I’ve seen terrible things.” – Luther, The New Guy (2002)

So what am I hoping for this year, what will we not be talking about today because I’m going to be busy, getting busy, highly doubtful but have I not already done what I think is impossible which is pretty much all the hopefulness you will be getting out of me? Would you like to be my oracle rather than my therapist, one of these days I need a real wish list or rather a bucket list right, an inkling?

What will I learn tomorrow, what dreams may come, that I can become a better man, a man that I can stand to look at maybe, See Who, The Oracle.

I Will Have No Fear

Placating My Sugar

Rage, rage, against the dying of the light they say and I snuff it out willing, well not really haven’t had such an occasion in years, in probably a decade even but the wishes keep coming. “Placating My Sugar”, I try, another day would be easier

They tell me to hurry up
from since I was tied
to a grasshopper, but they insist.

Only I have been hushed
for so long, I don’t know if inside
it’s impossible, immoral, illegal, insane, a wish

As my poor heart was crushed,
But nowhere to run to baby, nowhere to hide
and I’m stuck with this

Just a word too much;
suicide it’s a suicide
waiting to blow, waiting for Miss?

What’s her name, what’s mine, in the mush
being melted damn near fried
by how many candles, day one ish

A touch of love, of death, or a girl at the sagebrush
Yet I am preoccupied
blowing out this yearly dish
One more sugar rush

Copyright © 2017, Will A. Bradford Jr. All rights reserved.

Lesson 067 ~Take the Cake Please~

It feels like I have already had a whole cake to myself, cheesecake maybe, but I’m going to be full of so many things tomorrow but I must stand strong, or rather lie in my bed, but this will be no walk in the park. Take the Cake Please

Wednesday, September 6, 2017

Lesson 067 ~Take the Cake Please~

Hey Lady Lu,
No Fear, tomorrow will be a piece a cake, I keep telling myself that, a piece of cake, I wonder what great man upon facing the day that would define them figured that it would be a piece of cake. Sometimes I feel as though I have faced that day, others I truly hope not, and then I wonder why such a day exist, I feel you know what I’m talking about.

“Selling a gun for the first time is a lot like having sex for the first time. You’re excited but you don’t really know what the hell you’re doing. And some way, one way or another, it’s over too fast.” Yuri Orlov, Lord of War

Why sell guns my beautiful Lu (you see I gave you your form back) world’s gonna end one way or another, too bad it won’t be tomorrow but anyway, first I sell something worse than guns and second why must such and such a day be the day that defines me? When I was thinking about what I would want my name on, the cake did not come up, marquee, bestseller list, hell I might even prefer a headstone, no actually burn me and scatter me somewhere, haven’t thought of it yet. Haven’t thought of a lot actually considering everything I need to get done, everything that is coming up, not a piece of cake.

“Stay here.

Yeah right! Eat me, said the cake to Alice!” Stephen King’s Desperation (2006)

How about as easy as pie… can’t say I have a thing for pie either, I did like pumpkin pie once upon a time, and blueberry pie sounds yummy but I can’t say I have much of an appetite; this morning’s breakfast is like a stone. My mom never told me there’d be days like this, but she’s no prophet of course but if she had been I imagine I wouldn’t be in this mess at the moment, then again God fearing woman that she is… There is also the fact that when I know something like this is coming, I feel physically ill anyway, but already asked “Gospel Girl” about pizza, who says no to pizza right, but again who says no to cake and ice cream as well.

There are just too many things I can say about cake, for example, I always pictured myself as one of those men who just want to watch the world burn, and not be surrounded by a bunch of people singing, not that I’m worried about that happening, these days right. So what have we learned, well I think cupcakes are delicious and I wish I could remember what buttercream actually was but these days Luna, seriously Take the Cake Please?

“Piece of cake! Piece of cake!

Piece of cake!” – the movie Battlefield Earth (2000)

I Will Have No Fear

How to Fireproof Happy

Plenty of days I don’t think Happy even exist but why should I be happy on this particular day, shouldn’t I be happy every day or at least be allowed to look for it in my own way, even in my darkness. “How to Fireproof Happy” don’t expect any candles

A star, a wish, just the one
When I can’t even recognize my own name
So here comes the sun,
Only there is pain, there are flames
Can you make this day snappy?

How long was it until my parents were through?
They don’t even admit their mistake
Their wish didn’t come true
either, oh the heartbreak
with this day but mammy and pappy

can’t we all agree
to blame someone, anyone as the cake melts
because the last thing we need is me blowing
anything else, since I’m going to Hell
As I walk through the valley

of the shadow of death for
I know there is no other path and you know
the same. So on this day I ask for nothing more
not a candle, not a bulb, not an inferno
nothing as sappy

like the knowledge that I am still alive
This does not make me a liar
Just like five fingers don’t always mean goodbye
I didn’t start the fire
So maybe I can still see the happy

Copyright © 2017, Will A. Bradford Jr. All rights reserved.

Wake Up and Smell the Nuts Everyone

The Catholics think they have some bad publicity but there are still plenty of them running around, not to mention several other “churches” glad I got to read about a fictional one for a change. Wake Up and Smell the Nuts Everyone, it’s pretty crazy.

“It’s only forbidden, but nothing to be ashamed of”
― D.S. Wrights, Wake

For the most part, no, I mean it was a bit slow in going but once it picked up, I was in a way rooting for the villains, not all the way to the end of course but I was somewhat impressed by the sheer villainy. Nothing to be ashamed of story wise though the editing, I’m no editor, not in the slightest, except when I’m noticing these things every few pages… seriously me being a writer, it puts the fear of God into me.

Speaking of God, I always applaud any of author with the guts to go after the religious even if they are a “cult” and we all know these sort of groups, lie somewhere and nobody can escape unscathed. You won’t find any voices of reason in this book, either everyone is crazy or lying to some degree just to maintain, whatever they hold sanity to be. Character development pretty much lies on one concept, how crazy are you and when will you cross the line.

Nobody embodiments that more than our antihero Samael, and the heroine Anna, Samantha, Anna, trying to be Rachel it gets pretty confusing for both characters and reader alike. I guess love is sort of crazy when you look at it and of course, this is one of those stories where somebody has plenty of cash on hand, and while it doesn’t justify the crazy, I’m sure plenty of women will read it. Guys too if they have ever had such and such a dark urge and I will not delve into that rabbit hole, here.

So if you’re ready for crazy and a whole lot of dominant males though I was surprised by mother Rachel which shows women can be just as evil then this is a decent read, I won’t say good, for plenty of reasons but again we will get into that in a bit first the rundown.

Crazy mom, decent grandparents, indoctrination into a cult, predators, molesters, oldest crimes in the oldest traditions, girl falls in love with a boy/man-child and then escapes without him, not her choice. Retaken by the cult, boy/man-child has been warped and still crying out for daddy’s acceptance is going to train the girl and if you’re into this genre you can sort of see where this is going, not rocket science.

Now a part of me actually wants to say I sort of agree with Samael because I know how churches/cults can be that’s why you start with children but the ending in a way negates all that. Him being convinced that Anna betrayed him but he was already grown if he could break through the conditioning long enough to help her escape how could he be so sure it was all her fault. He truly got me in the end though, you don’t see many stories that don’t end with a happily ever after scenario, a change of pace indeed.

In all fairness, with Anna’s background, anyone would be messed up too and the captivity doesn’t help with that so her staying the same throughout is par for the course. I do think her character was somewhat beyond belief but again maybe it was her upbringing that kept her from screaming bloody murder for the most part. The scene between her and Samael was explosive when they finally got her virginity out of the way, though the teasing was awesome as well, to an extent, it grew tedious after a bit but the stories of Samael’s past with Rachel were wow with a bit of sick to go with it.

I think the ending could have been something more if the other characters were flushed out, don’t get me wrong we get back stories to most of them but again beyond belief when Anna can just present an idea and okay it’s been years nobody thought to do this? The Church of the Second Reckoning and everything maybe the author could have flushed Joshua out more, and explained how he kept power, though I have seen infighting in most churches.

In all I give “Wake” three stars, it was dark, it was creepy, not the typical ending and pretty twisted indeed there was plenty to like and if the author would just get some new editing and crank up the sex but maybe that’s just me being a guy. The editing just pulls you out of the story, you’re falling right into and next thing you know you’re ripped out.

I suppose my favorite part is when Anna is alone with the Samael’s other two brothers, I guess I should also mention spoilers but come on, everyone knows when it’s coming. Personally, I could have used a bit more graphical language but just the fact that the hero doesn’t come in and save the day just in the nick of time. Also the ending, there are few books especially a standalone that leave characters still screwed up and just saying, okay this is life so deal with it as so.

Other than the editing, I think Anna’s character, like mother, like daughter, came off a bit too cunning with her manipulations, in a place where people are killing each other left and right, nobody had an inkling to I don’t know get to Joshua? The teasing got a bit annoying after awhile, I’m never sure with erotica but some are a straight sexual smorgasbord and others are, maybe, still waiting, and okay. Also while Sam’s dad was lying to him, why was everybody lying to Anna, okay she’s a kid but the fact that they lied while soothing themselves did nothing for Anna, the characters could be pretty dense if they weren’t psychotic or just plain mad; genius and insanity.

This isn’t something I would have sought out, probably because of the religious jargon but it hits the right note between what we know in the news and completely unbelievable. Three stars, pay the money for the editing I know I will, now if you’ll excuse me I might actually need a nap after this, exciting and my brain hurts.

Lesson 066 ~The Time Warp Again~

I remember, doing the time warp, no actually I remember doing my own thing but plenty of people felt like they could do their own thing, probably when time warp was playing I’m sure. The Time Warp Again, when dressing up was fun and possibly still is

Tuesday, September 5, 2017

Lesson 066 ~The Time Warp Again~

Hey Lady Lu
No Fear, though when I was a child I told some “friends” that I wanted to be the headless horseman and instead I went as the white power ranger. Humiliation started early not to mention, that was also a time when you could say “white power” and not get your ass beat if you’re a black kid living in suburbia attending Trunk or Treat at a church.

I guess all my memories from the past weren’t so bad, from White Ranger to Darth Vader and how many years did that take I wonder? From romantic nice guy attempting courtly love to pervert, yeah I think I missed a step as Tony Montana would preach, such a thing would only work if you have tons of money to back up such an endeavor. Yes, Lady Lu, it isn’t even October yet but today’s lesson is The Time Warp again and I still stand by the principle that time travel is a bad idea and of course that also includes getting older, nearly time.

“In this country, you gotta make the money first. Then when you get the money, you get the power. Then when you get the power, then you get the women.” – Tony Montana, Scarface (1983)

Yes, there was a time when I would even dance during these days of “Sapphire” remember my uncle got married right on the day, I swear it seems even fate conspired to rob me of that day, my sister was born the day after, as I said my uncle got married on it, and how about Amanda Todd, does anybody still remember that? How about the fact that while I’m “leveling up” I don’t seem to be evolving, I remember when I thought “Pokémon” would be my last hurrah and then The Hunger Games, Divergent, pretty much Young Adult novels, to erotica, a big leap forward considering I began to blend the two. How about what “Indiana Gone” asked me the other day about “The Rocky Horror Masquerade Ball” isn’t my answer supposed to be yes to all of these things, though honestly, neither one of us got the movie.

Don’t I want to go back to a time when I was free to do whatever, I mean haven’t I been getting a taste of that as time moves forward though to be fair I have been hiding out in the cave right? So what have I learned today… that even if the past is gone why not try and do something with the time I’m given, would that be something The Time Warp Again?

I Will Have No Fear

 

Bravely Lit

It’s getting around that time and I’m sure I have my picture, my name, hell probably a police file, I can pretty much guarantee my name is in lights and will be but not in any flattering away and I am always chasing the light aren’t I. “Bravely Lit”.

Don’t sing, don’t wish, don’t say
because I have, on all the stars
but they still seem so far
and the cake is melting.
Were you trying to compete with the sun
I’m on the run

fam with every reason to stay
and that’s why I get high.
Those neon lights are in my sight,
only I want “Easy Street”
where I spread my love and fly
to know that I’m alive

I’ll make some days, always
From “how does that look daddy”
I’ll sing let’s see
while the police fingerprint me
I won’t lie about this
No not to my kids

when under fluorescent lights I’ll lay
with doctor’s asking what’s my age again.
The lights from where I been
don’t follow me six feet
So today, teach me to be brave
blow out the candles, a few more to the grave

Copyright © 2017, Will A. Bradford Jr. All rights reserved.