To be happy right where I am. The last time I had an inkling of what “happiness” might be like was when I was watching Star Wars movies with Braxton and his favorite girl. But she fell asleep by Revenge of the Sith *grumbles.* A “B Happy” Virgil
Sunday, May 5, 2024
Tale 309 ~A “B Happy” Virgil~
To Will:
It’s the Man In The Mirror… —and according to everyone!!! I should watch how I talk to you. Still, it’s Sunday. So, FAIL?
Let’s talk about happiness, or rather, the lack thereof. I won’t tell you to be happy because that’s not how it works. You don’t want to lie, and I respect that. Your first words today were, “4:15 AM.” And that was after wondering why you had to wake up today.
You yearn for the simple joy of saying, “Good Morning, B.” Instead, there was your somber reflection in the “Black Mirror.” And then there was telling Virgil that it was time to go outside. After he did his “business,” those were your first “good” words of the day. Then there was reading and your audiobooks. We will get to those. And what about B’s Aunt yesterday? I wished her a Happy Birthday, but she has things to deal with, too. And with your daily ramblings…
She did say you’re a listening ear. Six Impossible Things:
- I WILL BE VIEWING Bikini Days: An Unconventional Romance
Completed - I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
Failed - I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
Failed - I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 000, No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
Failed (Day 000 No Fap) - I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
Failed - I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am
Failed
This is why you’re reluctant to start “Morning Star” by Pierce Brown. You need stories with happy endings, so you know what that’s like. The unconventional relationship of Bikini Days. Backyard Dungeon? A man who has (pulls out a list) elves, half-demons, orcs, and goblins as wives. Is that happiness?
What does happiness sound like to you? There are no people around to model after.
Can you not think about models right now? You know what that will bring about. Between A.I. and all those young women trying to get a “college education.” Do girls still use that excuse? Not that you’re any better with your actions. Because you won’t sit down and write. Oh, this? According to the critic, you’re not just ranting, raving, rambling; you’re self-criticizing. Quite helpful.
Because happiness? Six Impossible Things:
- I WILL BE VIEWING Uh… Logan Jacobs, Michael Dalton
- I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
- I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
- I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 000, No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
- I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
- I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am
You’re not listening out for happiness. “But love is a long, long road.” And for now, you’re taking “The Long Walk.” Yeah, I’ve said it before. But it bears repeating because what else will you say to yourself? It won’t be anything good. Nowhere near great. And gross? That’s another thing. Everything you want is impossible, insane, inane, or illegal to some degree. However, there’s also wanting everyone else to be happy. Because you see yourself as the cause of their unhappiness. I swear, looking through the mirror. It hurts.
Happiness, Heaven, Hope? That was the sound of your son’s every breath in this world. It’s the silence in nothing breaking. But Braxton isn’t here breathing. “We gon’ be alright.”
Happiness… A “B Happy” Virgil
1190 Days Without B III, Day 631 of Virgil’s Arrival
B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will