Tag: Dog

Chronicle 075 ~B We Bad Boys~

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I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again, the first woman Braxton approves of, I’ll have to marry. When my 2nd best friend saw my sister holding him, jealous and awkward. Now he’s gone, and there aren’t many women putting up with me. B We Bad Boys.

Tuesday, September 14, 2021

Chronicle 075 ~B We Bad Boys~

Dear Future Wife,
I AM a Billionaire right now, but will I be waking up at 3:00 AM forever? Hell earlier, later, or at all?

You don’t like me talking like that? I didn’t like Braxton waking me up barking, “Let’s Wake Up The Neighbors.” What I wouldn’t give to have all those times back. But the two of us having brunch isn’t bad either? By no means is this a silver lining, My Love. What I’m thinking is I had to learn so much when I lost him. Hell, there were so many mornings where I had to go into the Day Job, and you know how I am about that place. No eating, no drinking, and then I nearly puked when I had to do a drive-up order. Wouldn’t I be lying if I said that I don’t wake up in fear most mornings? Don’t you love me?

I’ve told you before I’m not one for the holidays, and that includes “Emergence.” Last week I was arguing about dinner. I’m sure you appreciate I’m around and the children. More money for their birthdays, Christmas, even the first day of school. B III wouldn’t have cared. Give him a thing of fries, and he would say it was the best day ever. My Boy. I’m never going to be able to leave behind, January 31st. Like I’ve said, my Emergence is nothing compared to Braxton’s departure from this world. It’s been 226 days here. Dammit, I’ve never thought about walking out. Be you my sun, my moon, my starlit sky. “I Want You Around.” That’s my pride, your celestial body lying next to mine.

Now, what was that? Time Travel, seeing as how I haven’t thought anything remotely poetic since Braxton’s been gone. He showed me love, and without him, it would be a waste not to love again. Another dog? The children will want one someday, Baby Girl. Though I’ll lie in bed for quite a while and dream. I know I can’t get another one; I can’t. I’ll mourn the son I have lost as I did on this very weekend. I’m not “Alright,” my love, okay? To stay in bed, where else would you have me? The world outside, my gift to you and B III. Brunches, Birthdays, Bedtimes, me and Braxton were old men. Yet we rode together and dying ha, B We Bad Boys.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=__5Os3uZvE0

226 Days Without B III

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Chronicle 071 ~Some Candles B Lit~

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I’m 100% Pro-Choice and Anti-Book Burning. Unless it’s my words, then burn it all. Not Braxton’s story, because he is the only one worth writing about. Now seeing the end of Emergence Week and the humiliations, I avoided, mostly. “Some Candles B Lit”

Friday, September 10, 2021

Chronicle 071 ~Some Candles B Lit~

Hey Lady Sophia,
I AM a Billionaire right now because I’m “carrying the fire.” I don’t think I’m ready to read The Road quite yet.

With all the storms that have made their way through, I haven’t ended up reading in the dark. Well, you know what I mean, Lady Sophia. I’m reading about Time Travel and living it now since today is the 9th. Do you know what that means? Nobody picked up the torch. Should I go ahead and say it? “Humiliations Galore!” Before I start crying about the Day Job, how about the last time I saw candles. Fake lit candles, but I still need to buy some. I’ve been saying that for what 222 Days now. Hell, the last thing I got for B III was the Emergence Day dinner, and I continue to be salty about that. The Cheesecake was subpar. It didn’t need candles.

So what was I saying about candles… oh yeah, the day Braxton died. Let’s be clear, he was murdered by me. Sorry, I’m getting all into this, but yet again, it’s my routine. I call the Day Job Hell, so I need to remind myself what it truly is. Opening the door, no B III. Circles Four through Seven have nothing on the Ninth “Treachery.” I burn at the Day Job, and I freeze here. While the power hasn’t gone out, I find myself holed up in the Den, reading yes in the dark. It helps me not to look around for B. Pretending Punishment. Lady Sophia, the things that I do in the light? Yeah, I guess I’m not for Heaven, the Rainbow Bridge.

It would have been something if that horrible meal from Red Lobster killed me PROPER. But the story of the candles. How they had flameless candles and the frame about the Rainbow Bridge. I’ll spare you the image. Enough people want me quiet. Mourning Braxton. There were no candles for Emergence Day. I don’t think Braxton ever saw some candles. If the power did go out, the two of us would nap. I don’t think B feared the dark, well… Then there’s the fire B III lit under my ass along with NaNoWriMo. Better worlds. Lady Sophia, I keep imagining which one he ended up in. Hmm, maybe that’s why I haven’t started cheating with my novel. Should burn it. But Some Candles B Lit

222 Days Without B III

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Chronicle 070 ~A Promise, B Eating~

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Be Not So Fearful; it doesn’t taste as bad as it looks. Well, I wasn’t interested in B’s cake, but he loved it, his aunt made it. As for Red Lobster, well, that’s one restaurant I won’t bother with. I want a Buffalo Chicken Sub. “A Promise, B Eating”

Thursday, September 9, 2021

Chronicle 070 ~A Promise, B Eating~

221 Days Without B III

Just Me Baby B,
Did you have a good day? I’ve had two days of waking, whenever I want (it’s been a long time). To be young. Today is fearful.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1mHbgFkH-ss

No, it wasn’t the cheesecake. Not that I could share that with you anyway, but my promise. Out of everything to come out of “Emergence Day,” at least I kept my word. I’d instead celebrate your birthday, B. Even now, I don’t know what I would have done but 16. My greatest shame that you didn’t get to see it. Braxton, it makes that $50.00 I spent seem like nothing at all. Hell, it always comes back to money with me, doesn’t it? With the quality of the meal, you could have had all of it. I forget, can you have shrimp. No B III. Now that’s something you don’t miss, me telling you no. I bought some Mr. Goodbars, and since you’re not here…

Well, the house is still a mess. Sometimes I find myself stepping on this or that every once and a while. What it’s not like your mom is here. As a matter of fact, yesterday, I did a full-on photoshoot for my (Stuff And Thangs) Onlyfans. With a solid eight hours and a full stomach. Of course, I’m eating pancakes, and I would share plenty. I wonder how you would feel about the sausage and hash browns? Talk about stories I tell myself before bedtime. The Aunt Jemima breakfast you stole when you were but a small pancake yourself, Braxton. The things that pass for meat in the country and you and I aren’t vegetarians in any sense. At least you’re not mad at Subway.

No more Buffalo Chicken. You know I continue to imagine what did you in; besides my own hands. Was it the water? I got one of those notices for the fridge the other day. Before BK ripped me off, I ordered a lot from there with coupons. What was it B III? I don’t know? I’m having enough trouble filling my belly. I can’t worry about feeding another B III. Braxton, the dream I had about the candy dog, what were you trying to say to me playing my Virgil? I know what I know, and I’ll assume you’re stuffing your face. You deserve it. You know I would preach politics, but all my favorite foods are going away. Starvation, punishment? A Promise, B Eating

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Chronicle 068 ~B III The Emergence~

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The more things change, the more they stay the same, or not. If there were to be any candles today, I would only wish to have my little boy back. Wanting him to live instead of wishing I had never been born, that’s something? B III The Emergence

Tuesday, September 7, 2021

Chronicle 068 ~B III The Emergence~

Dear Future Wife,
I AM a Billionaire right now, so what more could I want? The Little Things, My Love

  1. Braxton Barks Bradford back. my son, my best friend
  2. No more setting alarms for the Day Job, memorials
  3. The tears to stop falling. 219 days and counting
  4. A tattoo on my left forearm for my son
  5. A Cuddle Clone, for the foot of the bed
  6. A phone that I’m not constantly worried about, sigh
  7. A new phone battery, in general, that lasts all-day
  8. Some Black Air Pods that last like the phone
  9. GUNS, Lots of GUNS. Bullets for those I own
  10. My OnlyFans to get out of single digits someday
  11. Number One Best Seller List All Over The World
  12. A few more glasses choices for my everyday wear
  13. To fix my fucking mouth once and for all
  14. To never be told or feel like I’m STUPID
  15. A few more masks since people are very STUPID
  16. To need less sleep or more hours every day
  17. A new tablet for my ever-growing library (books, movies)
  18. Sour gummy bears, worms, straws, skittles, the list continues
  19. A machine to produce blue raspberry Icees on demand
  20. Bottles of Blazin’ Sauce or Carolina Reaper from BWW
  21. To finally give my two weeks or just quit
  22. Apple Watch instead of the cheap one I own
  23. To know Manhood as in never calling my father
  24. A physical copy of every book I own digitally
  25. To Make SCC Second Circle Creations an honest company
  26. Gift Cards over $100 bucks for specific places, hmm
  27. Certain Playboys, DVDs, Archives, no longer in general circulation
  28. The ability to drink more than one wine glass
  29. Laptop Desk for my bed in black, mouse area
  30. The Omega Virus Board Game, the original, my childhood
  31. One single day without fear of anything at all
  32. A Nude Maid Service; haven’t cleaned “really” since B
  33. Black HP Printer in black full color and Wi-Fi
  34. A method to forget the things that distress me
  35. Three little words, “I Love You” and mean it
  36. Cash, I’m a billionaire, but I’m looking for more
  37. To look in the mirror and not hate myself

The Little Things, Love, and Happiness. B III The Emergence

219 Days Without B III

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Chronicle 064 ~History of B Longing~

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Last week I called myself a writer, and that’s without taking a writing class. Most think of me as a Sci-Fi Nerd, Geek, Freak, watch it, but that explains my Second BFF. She has a thing for nerds, whatever. History um, Jan 31. “History of B Longing.”

Friday, September 3, 2021

Chronicle 064 ~History of B Longing~

Hey Lady Sophia,
I AM a Billionaire right now, but this doesn’t allow me to change history. No matter how much I seek erasure, forgiveness.

It’s days like these… what Thursday, Time Travel? When I was young, I loved SCIENCE. Again Time Travel, wanting to raise the dead, and Hell if I die, I want my ashes to become a virus. Everything to be with B sigh, perhaps our ashes would mingle, hating people ha. Of course, Science involves plenty of Math. Well, I’ve spent this afternoon looking at how much money I’ve lost and for what. Writing, we’ll get to that. How about anatomy? If my “Stuff And Thangs” is any sign. Today I did write out my dream. The Science of it, okay. As close to the subject as I’ll ever get again. Sci-Fi references and defending never having another furry life in my hands. Never again, Sophia.

Because I’ve spent 215 days WRITING about the son I lost. I don’t believe I have ever taken a Writing class before; junior college? Of course, you’re saying that’s quite obvious with how I can never stay on subject. You could also look to yourself and the girls; now B. Baby Braxton always wanted more time with me, a man of few words he was. Only I gave myself over to them. I’ve been down here since 8 AM, and talking to you will account for 2000. I haven’t even left my seat. I should, I’m sure English teachers would approve. What about my next novel for the Big Show? NaNoWriMo in November. Am I hoping to cheat? Remember French?

Yet when I was in school, my subject was HISTORY. As you know, I feel some kinda way about my father, but he was ready to fight a History teacher for me. Calling me Professor. I don’t forget that my son is dead. How many times will I say it, Lady Sophia? Have I mentioned somebody else is sick of me talking about it? Oh, and lunch with B’s Aunt. Emergence Day is coming up fast, and what do I do before each one? CLEAN. I never took a Home Ec. course, and why would I decide to start tidying up? This was B’s home. It’s never another day, Lady Sophia. Each is brand new, trying to find a way to live without him. My lessons, History of B Longing.

215 Days Without B III

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Chronicle 063 ~B Selfish And Others~

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I didn’t eat dinner last night thanks to Burger King, eww. T.M.I., but at least B wasn’t here to suffer with me as I didn’t get any fries. Not that I needed them. Now an Emergence Day meal, I was selfish to the both of us 2020. “B Selfish And Others”

Thursday, September 2, 2021

Chronicle 063 ~B Selfish And Others~

214 Days Without B III

Just Me Baby B,
Did you have a good day? I would tell you about yesterday, but I’m trying to avoid institutions. And for today?

You are a selfish little S.O.B., you know that. Before you think I’m angry like I almost was with your Aunt Carolina Bound, for no apparent reason. “You & Me” always and forever, like Father, like Son. So you being selfish was learned from me. You are B. Every single day you remain the first thought. Whether the Day Job or waking late. I’m pissed at myself about yesterday, but it serves me right because of forgetting your fries… I was even reminded of your birthday, your Sweet Sixteen, and wanting to go crazy. Selfish to think there would be more time, and you always wanted more of mine. And sitting here at the dining room table thinking if I had kept my promises B.

Didn’t I give those out by the truckload but actually executing them. Bad choice of words but B III, yesterday I went to Burger King thinking I would have enough for some days. STOLE my money, got a STOMACHACHE, “dude,” you’d SAY, “where’s my fries.” Trust me, you didn’t miss anything and with what I did to you? 214 Days B III, and I continue to feel pain. Only like Robin Williams in Good Will Hunting when he says, “My wife is dead.” I say, my son is dead; nothing beats that pain B. You’re gone, B III, I know. Everyone else knows too. A “friend” is sick of me talking about you. I’ll see your Aunt Saturday. M Anime says, bless your little soul.

What about mine, B? It’s getting around the time of “Emergence,” and I don’t have you to smother me. If my body is wracked in pain or lazy, what about my heart. My betrayal B. Saturday, I’ll be headed to PetSmart to pet the fur babies and then lunch with your Aunt and her hubby. A shared meal and there will be nothing for you. My Emergence Day meal B? How about my wish list? Your grandparents aren’t crazy enough to do some things. That dream I had a week or so ago meant I can’t be a dad. A Cuddle Clone, Stuff & Thangs? Fuck, I want my best friend back… you B III. Dance On Our Graves such selfishness. B Selfish And Others.

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Chronicle 061 ~B Losing Some Lovin’~

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How many times have I lost love, my heartbroken? I thought I loved many a girl, but um… My Olds, way too much to unpack. I write every day but is it, love. Not like I had for B III. 212 Days, and with my love with no place to go B Losing Some Lovin’.

Tuesday, August 31, 2021

Chronicle 061 ~B Losing Some Lovin’~

Dear Future Wife,
I AM a Billionaire right now, and I would give it all up to save B III. What do you want, God?

Should I have asked that instead of, um, please save my son? Is that why “He’s My Son” strikes me, you know? Mark Schultz sings to let him take his son’s place. For my son to have more love, take my life if needed. Robbing B of that, may God’s love be with you always. Hell, most days, I don’t believe in God, and if we’re going to get all religious? I don’t want to go all-in on my Olds either. Mother is God in the eyes of a child, or why I don’t fear the father of lies, aka Satan. I got my Old Man for that. For the love of money, a child. I hope I need neither by now, their love, money.

Ok, that sounds harsh, and I don’t mean death, mind you. What I mean is, if you asked me how many times I’ve said the words “I Love You?” How many times I’ve fallen in “Love?” What do those three little words mean to me? Fatherhood, Manhood, the boy in the hood? Before everything, there was writing. Even now, I’m thinking about the dream I had Sat. There was Braxton. I felt a woman was what was needed to know love. Somehow. Yes, I met you, a miracle. Baby, you chose me. We have a family. I love you and our kids. Always and forever, never forget that. It’s not a lack of love; it’s the fear of it. My Olds wouldn’t say I lost their love, I don’t think.

The thing is, I don’t feel it except the bills, and yep that idea would cost me. I have billions? You know I’ve never been good with the idea that you won’t just wake up one morning and be gone. But if you ever say, “Hey Stupid, I Love You.” I can’t stand that song. Neutron Star Collision, that’s how I love. “’Cause our love could be forever” that’s better. Love is forever. So I guess when I think of losing love… well didn’t I say love is like the sun? And I don’t know if I’m seeing an ice age or The Midnight Sun from The Twilight Zone. No matter its time, I’m losing, and God ain’t giving it back. B Losing Some Lovin’.

212 Days Without B III

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Chronicle 057 ~An Interesting Story B~

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I call myself a writer. Most days, I wear some bit of NaNoWriMo gear. What does it mean to be a writer? My confession of a crime from 208 days ago. Getting grilled by some guy for a car accident. My excuses and Day Job hate. “An Interesting Story B.”

Friday, August 27, 2021

Chronicle 057 ~An Interesting Story B~

Hey Lady Sophia,
I AM a Billionaire right now, and how did I accomplish such.

“A good question – for another time.” ― Maz Kanata

Why not now? Lady Sophia, I was about to say that I’m sick of stories. By today I should be finishing The Theta Timeline by Chris Dietzel. I don’t hate it. Sure I hate the fact that there are no more stories on the Great De-evolution. I hate the tale of my son being dead. There have only been two novels in my whole thirty-six years of life (remember that), I’ve stopped reading. The Moonstone by Wilkie Collins (I believe). There’s also the “classic” Lord of the Flies by William Golding. Yeah, there’s the Bible, but that’s a whole collection. Why am I mentioning books besides it’s Friday? Well, Wednesday, August 25, 2021, for real. A Time Traveler, that’s me. Why can’t time just stop?

Today’s been hard, and Braxton isn’t here to “Listen to my story.” Cherry’s pretty pissed. Yeah, I’m wasting time on Twitter instead of focusing on the Ninth. Yes, I’m going to the Ninth Circle of Hell, but I’m mean more of the day. Car accident and a fucked up phone call. Then there’s the fact of missing the 85% completion for price changes that a supervisor told me about. How about all the humiliations from the kiosk to other customers? I’m still trying to forget about that movie I saw, “Soulmates,” which makes me a real asshole. Nobody wants to listen to the other stories I want to discuss, or they’re on the news nightly. I did mention Chris Dietzel. Where is my time machine?

I would be a selfish prick, but can you blame me? How To Save A Life, I’d save B III. Sophia, you see what day we’re moving closer to. I’d become a Terminator: First Breath. I love my mom and feel a way about my father. Ha, I need only stop myself existing um yep. How often have I said I need to watch my mouth in case people take a sec or two? I’m not complaining like Cherry. Her writing has promise, like the girls on Onlyfans, have Yabbos. Story of my life, and you know I don’t even go back and read my own work. It’s why I’m constantly repeating myself. And when Braxton tried to tell me stories… An Interesting Story B.

208 Days Without B III

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Chronicle 056 ~Hunger Of B’ing Well~

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Shut your pie hole, or to that effect. The things I would say to my boy when he barked about the neighbors, I’m not sharing, when I had to go to the Day Job. All I do is talk about B and eat French fries. Am I empty or full? Hunger Of B’ing Well

Thursday, August 26, 2021

Chronicle 056 ~Hunger Of B’ing Well~

207 Days Without B III

Just Me Baby B,
Did you have a good day? Apparently, you didn’t Thursday, January 28, 2021, and that’s when I noticed. You weren’t eating.

Like father, like son, things weren’t right. Here I am after 207 days, and I continue to ask what “it” was. The food, the water, what is it that Mcdonald’s sells that I can’t get enough of. Monday and Tuesday, I felt so bad, but I still ate it. A time to starve, hmm Braxton. With you B III, when your stomach was empty, you were still so full of love, light, and life. Now, what did I have them give you in return? I did ask, was there anything that could make your condition worse. If you weren’t suffering, then there would be drugs. Braxton, I would have let you stuff your face. You would have had all your favorites. Your sickness was physical.

Like father, like son, my Old Man didn’t understand me either. Who’s The Better Killer? This is the one time I wish I hadn’t won. Then again, who says I did? I believe taking a life is horrible, and other than some bug… B, your life was the first. That’s ironic, the one I love. To take someone’s body is another, and since I’ve talked to Lady Sophia already. Well, we don’t have to talk about a majority of my novels and the horrors done to women. Anyway, my point is, the destruction of the soul is the worse crime imaginable. Did I do that? Braxton, I am no Steve Urkle. Way before your time. Plus, I don’t want to be funny or to laugh.

Like father, like son, we were both super serious unless your aunt was around. She was the first reason I ever saw you stop eating. Again, not trying to laugh. Carolina Bound made you a cake and shared so much you had met your match. It took you days, Braxton. I’ve gone for about a week without eating. I don’t mean now. But when I got into it with my Old Man, with the Day Job. The day you left, I didn’t have a chance, so many people checking to make sure I was eating. B, you know I can’t stand liars or any stupidity. This leads me to this week, full of rage, regret, this raving lunatic’s stupidity. Full, empty, Hunger Of B’ing Well.

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Chronicle 054 ~Will Love B There~

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Sometimes B is in my dreams. When I go into his room, some of his toys have moved. I’d swear I had a rat or some other rodent, but all B’s treats are on the table. Calling him for meds, I swear I hear his paws patting all around. “Will Love B There?”

Tuesday, August 24, 2021

Chronicle 054 ~Will Love B There~

Dear Future Wife,
I AM a Billionaire right now, but I still don’t fancy myself an art connoisseur. Well, like Onlyfans, it depends. What’s art?

There are no more little tan hairs at the foot of the bed or on my pillow from B jumping. B’s shrine, temple, memorial, I don’t know, is never going anywhere like V for Vendetta. I don’t care what we have, “Soon As I Get Home” from work, I’m in my B III hoodie, ok. Hell, where are we now 205 Days, and I’ve only ever missed one, with a treat for my B III. There are labels for meds, beeps for when I need to get up to check his spot or water bowl. You hear me when I walk into the house. Honey, I’m home. Nah, “just me, Baby B.” Is it ok? No, I’m not asking permission. Another thing like Aloe Blacc.

I’ve told you before about his song “Wake Me Up” and how he sings about life’s a game. I still don’t agree that love is the prize but a gift. Sure, not everyone wants it. There are imitations of such. But once you give it, when you receive it, well, can it be taken away? Losing Braxton has made me love more. Being a husband to you, a father to our children, I won’t ever be one to tell you what to think or believe. I know what I feel and what’s real. I know my love for my family will never diminish. It’s only, I’m loving for two now. Braxton’s not here. I know that (SIGH) I know that. I need him to be.

And you need me to be, as do our children, so to quote another song, “Where Is The Love?” Be it the Rainbow Bridge, Heaven, or applying for Cerberus’s job. I hope B will know. Baby Girl, I fear my love is like the sun. For you, it’s having to travel far from its origin. That was Braxton to me. Pathetic, I know, considering my history with the word love. B III is up there, somewhere, and the world is a bit colder for all of us. It could be that I loved him so much. I fear what would happen if I focused all my attention on you. God is love, THEY say, but God is cruel. But for us? Will Love B There

205 Days Without B III

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will