Tag: Dreams

Chronicle 084 ~Reasons To Fry B~

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I have a vegan/vegetarian friend here or there. B III’s Aunt calls me a true Carnivore; this isn’t that type of conversation. As I stuffed my face yesterday with fries, and will do so again. I remember why there are more than usual. Reasons To Fry B.

Thursday, September 23, 2021

Chronicle 084 ~Reasons To Fry B~

235 Days Without B III

Just Me Baby B,
Did you have a good day? My day is only starting, and it’s not because some chick is good mommy material.

I’m sorry, Braxton. We are boys, but I tried to keep that kind of talk away from you. I remember you and your Aunt and how you and I had “The Talk.” Be good, Daddy. Braxton, I don’t think I was. It’s obvious why you’re not here. I’ll never forget why you aren’t ok. So as the Terminator said, “I killed you.” And I didn’t put you, my son, first. Hell, if I was ever up this early, and I wasn’t going into the Day Job, you’d be up like the sun. I noticed that as I was making the bed. Second straight day and I decided to, B III. Usually, I would let you sleep longer B while I went to take a shower.

Is the water hot enough, or am I dreaming up new reasons I’m getting into Hell? As I said, it wasn’t a woman that got me up. I made an accidental discovery yesterday, so fuck. Well, at least it’s only me. And not some indigenous people, the day job (fuck that, BTW), or women. Well, in the instance of reading The Handmaid’s Tale, again trying. Braxton, I finished reading a good portion last night instead of talking to you. We’ll have to continue this conversation later this afternoon. Of course, I’ll bring fries home, Braxton. Did you see I’m saying your name more? I still say it every day with medicine in hand, saying goodbye, and walking in. Whenever I slip up, oh, the pain.

Take yesterday’s first humiliation as an example. I was walking up to the Day Job, and I literally almost slipped and fell, rain and all. Bark at Earnest Hemmingway, Braxton. What right do I have to ask you to do anything for me? Would you stand up to God if I had fallen and broken my neck? You could be saving me a nice warm spot by the fire, ha. Oh yeah, my Treachery, which of course, is a Ninth Circle trespass. Whether it’s something like buying onion rings B III. How about petting a warm doggie at the store? Being with you like this, but I want to be back beneath the covers sleeping. Explains some of my dreams. My Reasons To Fry B.

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Chronicle 075 ~B We Bad Boys~

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I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again, the first woman Braxton approves of, I’ll have to marry. When my 2nd best friend saw my sister holding him, jealous and awkward. Now he’s gone, and there aren’t many women putting up with me. B We Bad Boys.

Tuesday, September 14, 2021

Chronicle 075 ~B We Bad Boys~

Dear Future Wife,
I AM a Billionaire right now, but will I be waking up at 3:00 AM forever? Hell earlier, later, or at all?

You don’t like me talking like that? I didn’t like Braxton waking me up barking, “Let’s Wake Up The Neighbors.” What I wouldn’t give to have all those times back. But the two of us having brunch isn’t bad either? By no means is this a silver lining, My Love. What I’m thinking is I had to learn so much when I lost him. Hell, there were so many mornings where I had to go into the Day Job, and you know how I am about that place. No eating, no drinking, and then I nearly puked when I had to do a drive-up order. Wouldn’t I be lying if I said that I don’t wake up in fear most mornings? Don’t you love me?

I’ve told you before I’m not one for the holidays, and that includes “Emergence.” Last week I was arguing about dinner. I’m sure you appreciate I’m around and the children. More money for their birthdays, Christmas, even the first day of school. B III wouldn’t have cared. Give him a thing of fries, and he would say it was the best day ever. My Boy. I’m never going to be able to leave behind, January 31st. Like I’ve said, my Emergence is nothing compared to Braxton’s departure from this world. It’s been 226 days here. Dammit, I’ve never thought about walking out. Be you my sun, my moon, my starlit sky. “I Want You Around.” That’s my pride, your celestial body lying next to mine.

Now, what was that? Time Travel, seeing as how I haven’t thought anything remotely poetic since Braxton’s been gone. He showed me love, and without him, it would be a waste not to love again. Another dog? The children will want one someday, Baby Girl. Though I’ll lie in bed for quite a while and dream. I know I can’t get another one; I can’t. I’ll mourn the son I have lost as I did on this very weekend. I’m not “Alright,” my love, okay? To stay in bed, where else would you have me? The world outside, my gift to you and B III. Brunches, Birthdays, Bedtimes, me and Braxton were old men. Yet we rode together and dying ha, B We Bad Boys.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=__5Os3uZvE0

226 Days Without B III

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Chronicle 058 ~Braxton’s Vigil, My Virgil~

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Am I going to have to write this whole dream out (yeah)? Well, if another fur baby came walking into my life, I have names. A boy “Virgil,” a girl “Beatrice,” which isn’t fair at all. Neither is waking up at 1:30 in the AM. Braxton’s Vigil, My Virgil

Saturday, August 28, 2021

Chronicle 058 ~Braxton’s Vigil, My Virgil~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Billionaire right now, but yesterday, “a day which will live in infamy.” I found I wasted ten damn years.

No disrespect to soldiers or even Sci-Fi as I was telling Carolina Bound and M Anime. My Day Job is a mix between going to Nam and being dropped into The Tomorrow War. Add to that being trapped and drowning. How do I survive? I had a son, my Braxton. Friday, August 27, 2021, hell Luna. I had B longer than I have been working in well, Hell. Then I wonder why I’m not running as fast home or to my writing. Hell is what I deserve. I believe that’s why I had that nightmare, but we’ll get to that. The Day Job, my God. Every time I go in the name of the game is this, don’t get fired. When Hell freezes over, right?

I thought I was dead last night. Some time ago, talking to Carolina Bound, I asked did she ever have a dream that she knew was a dream. With my own visions, it happened again. I found I was surrounded by people, so I unleashed black tendrils that were electrified. Them my sister was behind me, looking over my shoulder while I was looking at porn. You know the type. What I pay for, get creators kicked off platforms, foreign influences, etc. Next um, a phone rang, it wasn’t mine, ok Lu. At 1:30 AM, I’m “strapped,” as kids say. I’m stalking around the house, listening for the sound. Usually, this is Braxton’s job. If it’s “serious” again, I get my “gat.” Protecting us always.

So I fall back asleep, trying to dream of the guns in Far Cry 5. The monster gets in the house anyway (dreaming), and it’s my father carrying a dog made out of jelly beans. He looks like Braxton only, color coated, and I see B III on the floor. So the candy dog’s new. As I pull off jelly beans, there’s a furry dog underneath, orange, but the fur begins turning Braxton’s shade. Days go by, the dog becomes more and more like B but begins to shrink too. Like destroying/taking the Mind Stone from Vision, Wanda, or Thanos? Braxton is gone. If the dream and/or nightmare says anything, another dog, no, I can’t. But it’s Saturday. Petsmart then groceries? Braxton’s Vigil, My Virgil.

209 Days Without B III

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Gospel 339 ~It’s Not B Con~

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Convict, Con Man, “Comic-Con,” okay, I’ve only been a bit of a cheat. I went to Juvenile hall once, and why I’ve wanted to go to Comic-Con. There’s plenty I want to see. My son, alive again. I can never forget him. Only, “It’s Not B Con” lately.

Saturday, June 5, 2021

Gospel 339 ~It’s Not B Con~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Billionaire right now, so I ask myself, what am I doing wrong? I’m not jailed, cheating, hosting a panel.

No, my Lazy Ass, Lady Lu. Like today I said I was going to write out my dreams. There was the one where I was playing hockey, all D2: The Mighty Ducks. I’m pretty offended. In one more vision, I had a stalker and not the pretty Autumn Reeser as Taylor Townsend. He was a white man, and nobody heard me until I found his shoes in a plastic case. Last night I dreamed I was at work, and I got into trouble for “Stuff And Thangs.” I saw this sheet with marks by shoes, and the girl said I’d done well but with what I saw on the clock. It took me a minute, but feet were the overlying factor. I’m not that freaky.

If I had to guess, I would say first my feet are cold. Everything comes back to Braxton, and he would lie on my feet. His pillow was always below them, and without Braxton, Luna. The second I think, has to do with what I’m doing now. It’s like I want to be seen, but at the same time, I ain’t going nowhere like a display. Without Braxton, who’s watching? Lastly, the Day Job dream. I should have known better since the girl ragging me hasn’t worked there in years. Hell Lady Lu, I want to leave; B wanted that too. So I stay okay? Again I’m not explaining this to some Federal prosecutor, disappointed Friends. Or adoring Fan base. Even B III left me.

I mean, didn’t I ask him to? Only I remain stuck right here, Lady Lu. One more reason for the ice. When I went to honor B today, I didn’t even put on socks. I think of the 9th Circle. For some reason, I was scared to escape the stalker. As I said, I found shoes, but I needed to get dressed, and I wouldn’t look in the closet. Escape naked… the shoes wouldn’t move. If I did get away from the Day Job, I wouldn’t have anything. The shoes were right or wrong, but not one pair fit me, and so this week I’ve been busy. Prose, Posing, Prayer. Leaving my lips, “Oh God!” Because I’m staying here. The world It’s Not B Con.

125 Days Without B III

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Gospel 179 ~Will’s Excellent New Year~

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I can’t remember my last “excellent adventure.” Only what’s remained constant this year? Masks. Have I mentioned masks sort of rule? As for next year, protect the puppy, get published, and there’s another “P” somewhere. Will’s Excellent New Year

Sunday, December 27, 2020

Gospel 179 ~Will’s Excellent New Year~

To Will:
I AM a Billionaire right now, but will you be, come the new year? Honestly, I should have put more thought into this, but I was too busy thinking of a novel title yesterday. You’re writing something about Christmas… More like still reading something. Any more accomplishments this year? The Dæmon is alive, looking at sweet sixteen come February. You’re still working at the Day Job and this week (shudders). Yeah, now tell me why you want to go back to sleep? Oh, you’ve read 102 days straight.

Although, like Ahmed Ibn Fahdlan (Eben), “The 13th Warrior.” You have squandered your days with plans of many things. Even now, writing what has gone on in the past. Well, writing actually continues past, present, and future. Next year will be no different in this. Presently SIGH, like yesterday, you’re sitting in bed having this conversation. You don’t drink coffee, and the tea already expired (not that it ever stopped you.) Well, you have hot chocolate. The Dæmon is bathed in sunlight. Oh, and don’t forget about that $300 bill. Held by the future is you should continue your gun drills. How about cutting up all those plastic rings, so the animals don’t get stuck? If the world doesn’t end come the 1st, 6th, 20th, you should go find gifts for your sweet two. And yeah, there’s Six Impossible Things:

  1. I AM Keeping It In My Pants (Day 010 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 002 No Fap) Onna Kyoushi, “Honoka Toudou”
  2. I AM Always The “Father” My Dæmon Deserves
    Failed
  3. I AM Sending Gulp Off To Be Published SIGH
    Failed
  4. I AM Editing Anything Of My Current Works
    Partial Completion
  5. I AM Writing A New TWD Guild Intro
    Failed
  6. I AM Finishing Baby It’s Cold Outside by Dani Wyatt
    Completed

Speaking of two things that I could get done this week. If anything, your new resolution should be to complete Impossible Things. I would tell you, but that would make you a “bad boy.” Only you want to be a “good man.” So yeah, I’ll share those with Dirty Diana. Do you believe 2021 will be any different than 2020? There’s a song that goes, meet the new boss, same as the old boss. You’ve heard me talk often enough about avoiding listening to these old white guys. And yesterday, I mentioned Ernest Hemmingway.

Excellence, though, that’s what you should be striving for and not once again sleeping the day away. Letting your phone get clogged up with well… Should I tell you? I mean, I did share what broke me last week in hopes of surviving, Six Impossible Things:

  1. I AM Keeping It In My Pants (Day 002 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
  2. I AM Always The “Father” My Dæmon Deserves
  3. I AM Sending Gulp Off To Be Published SIGH
  4. I AM Writing “Look A Thing Like Santa”
  5. I AM Writing A New TWD Guild Intro
  6. I AM Finishing Reading The Christmas Wife by Elizabeth Kelly

I won’t ask you to hmm, okay enough negativity, find a good book, song, and show for the new year. Have A Happy New Year, please. Will’s Excellent New Year.

I Will Have No Fear

Gospel 172 ~Willing Goddesses and Guns~

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I love my Dæmon like pancakes, but he does know how to spoil a good dream, so I was busy cleaning up a mess this morning. All the things I’m willing to spend money on. I should get him some diapers, my furry old man. Will Goddess and Guns though

Sunday, December 20, 2020

Gospel 172 ~Willing Goddesses and Guns~

To Will:
I AM a Billionaire right now, and you at least woke up like one today. In a way, I want to treat you like the Dæmon, pat your head, call you a good boy. You don’t need treats, but what were you looking to buy at 7:00 AM.

Of course, you can’t speak of it. Only it would help someone in particular with a lawsuit against the state of Nevada. Another right decision on your part today, and it’s so early. Maybe you’ll keep up with what I began, and no, I don’t mean all the reading, ok? God knows you weren’t dreaming about books or even Far Cry 5. Such a pain in the ass not being able to speak of these things. As always, Republican ideas to deflect and lie. Did I mention how tiresome? You can say that song “Diamonds and Guns” has been playing. In about another hour or so, you can add another day to beating your addiction. There was an ad today talking about the secret to winning is accountability. Yep, nobody is that trustworthy. But you do have something to celebrate with these Six Impossible Things:

  1. I AM Keeping It In My Pants (Day 003 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
    Completed (Day 010 No Fap)
  2. I AM Always The “Father” My Dæmon Deserves
    Failed
  3. I AM Sending Gulp Off To Be Published SIGH
    Failed
  4. I AM Editing Anything Of My Current Works
    Failed
  5. I AM Writing A New TWD Guild Intro
    Failed
  6. I AM Finishing Mason’s Winter
    Completed

They don’t give 21 Gun Salutes over getting a 31% F. Dare I to say Trump has an approval higher than that. You should try buying more guns. Your dreams were full of them last night. Should you blame Far Cry 5, society, or my fat mouth these days, hmm? Again you’re trying to save money, but between the mail, mayhem, and mechanics. Yeah, you won’t be getting that $600.00 to build up an armory for what might take place in a few weeks. Of all the fears you hold in this world, to be honest, you don’t fear “politics.” Perhaps you should consider more guns as a THING; that way, it won’t ever happen. Funny, this coming from a man that made sure to put a new NaNoWriMo shirt on his wanted list. Those mechanics were wrong about the car, but you won’t even try to protect yourself… SHAME.

What you should be ashamed of is what kept the money in your pocket this morning. How about what drove you from your bed? You love the Imp like pancakes, but he can make messes. Much like Six Impossible Things:

  1. I AM Keeping It In My Pants (Day 010 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
  2. I AM Always The “Father” My Dæmon Deserves
  3. I AM Sending Gulp Off To Be Published SIGH
  4. I AM Editing Anything Of My Current Works
  5. I AM Writing A New TWD Guild Intro
  6. I AM Finishing Baby It’s Cold Outside by Dani Wyatt

I can’t ask you about one thing and shouldn’t the other. Willing Goddesses And Guns.

I Will Have No Fear

Gospel 129 ~Will’s Done Getting Over~

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First, let me say AHEM “WAY TO GO JOE AND KAMALA!!!” Okay, while America now has the people in place readying themselves to fight what’s coming, what about me? Joe won the presidency, but I couldn’t get 5000 words down? Will’s Done Getting Over.

Saturday, November 7, 2020

Gospel 129 ~Will’s Done Getting Over~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Billionaire right now, and that’s only the second biggest lie I’ve told today. If you’re looking for a third AHEM, “I’m going to write 4600 words today for NaNoWriMo.” I did accomplish a feat Lady Lu, around 3800, and you know I want 5000. I wish I could give you my best General Hummel impression (The Rock, 1996). “Well here and now, the lies stop!” Oh My Lady, have you heard the news. Joe Biden won the Election defeating President Trump. What will the comedians write about… we’ll see?

Now speaking of writing and forgive me if this is a bit rushed. You know I want to hear what the next old white guy in charge has to say. No, I’m not forgetting Kamala Harris will be the first woman, Black, Asian, Indian Vice President. How many other things? Now, didn’t I say at some point that I was sick of so many people talking? Here I am hearing a collective sigh of relief, the breath of life, celebration. And everything in between. Of course, the Trump supporters are in an uproar, and I’m sure M. Anime’s expecting war. Right now, all I truly want to do is cuddle with My Dæmon. Now, where is he, you ask? We’re having a disagreement about his medication, and so he’s locked in his room being stubborn. Like father like son, so he’s learned from the best, which is my compliment now.

Okay, if I have to give myself something else, I’m still keeping up with my reading. I’m no longer sticking to a time, says the man that wakes up at 4:00 AM but doesn’t start until 5:00 AM. I read 15% more today, and I’m a little ahead if you think back to K Webster. Yes, her latest book is still haunting me, though I did go a few hours without thinking of it at all. Some books are marriages; others are affairs or even relationships. Her book was a one-night stand that was exciting and creeped me out at the same time, never again. Okay, what about my third in the Cherry series and here we go with me feeling bad about myself. It truly is a horrible story, and I doubt I’ll get back into it tonight. Could I use the Election win as an excuse, you think?

Ha, Will’s Done Getting Over.

I Will Have No Fear

Gospel 122 ~Season Of The Will~

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Well, Happy Halloween or NaNoWriMo Eve since I don’t have any candy. A nightmare drove me out of bed to start writing something. Pantser that I am. Funny, I was only wearing a bath towel in my dream. “Season of The Will,” so time to turn on the heat.

Saturday, October 31, 2020

Gospel 122 ~Season Of The Will~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Billionaire right now, which means I could afford to have a drug problem. Yeah, I hear you, Lady Lu; there are plenty of people with addictions. Only we’re not here to talk about this or that, are we? God knows I have my problems, which I’m paying $30 to exacerbate every month. Of course, we can’t talk about that. At least yesterday, I spent money on print rather than videos, which is something. For the record, K Webster isn’t so bad. I didn’t expect her to be, of course. It’s with what I have been reading. Lately, I suppose.

Yeah, like my emails, one’s saying I should be all down “for the cause.” I can’t tell you the last black author I read or the previous black artist I bought from. Dammit, I had another “A” for you, but as I say daily, I know. I’m struggling to be as always “Family-Friendly.” Now My Dæmon is my family, and I wish I could talk about him all day. Those artists and authors, other than K Webster, who I know is a white lady. Hell, I don’t know about the others. They don’t have any pictures. Doing what they do, better staying hidden? However, Lady Lu, my dear, being the broken record that I am, I don’t want to listen to old white men anymore. So as Morpheus whispered, I have dreamed a dream. Now it was all black people, but Nikkia Bell and “Ma” Ellington were the two I recognized.

Octavia Spencer portrays Sue Ann “Ma” Ellington in Ma; that I have never seen, by the way. Ambrosia Kelley plays Nikkia Bell in Kill Bill. The dream’s crux is playing mother and daughter; they broke into the house and drove me out. I couldn’t stay; I was terrified. So here I’m pondering, trying to figure out what the dream means. This is Halloween? Well, I usually give deeper meaning to any vision of mine. Ma wants me voting? Interesting if it had something to do with Black Lives Matter since I survived, right? Nobody helped me in my dream, and again they were all black… I’m not Republican. My gun was locked, and the magazines were gone, but bullets remained still boxed in the dream. Hell, it could even mean I should walk My Imp.

Halloween, NaNoWriMo, Voting, it’s time, the Season Of The Will.

I Will Have No Fear

Gospel 070 ~Four, Five, Sixty-Nine Wills~

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What do you want to be when you grow up? I could have given you a million answers when I was a kid. Now I usually stick to three, and I’m not close to any of them, to be honest, considering the Day Job. Four, Five, Sixty-Nine Wills um…

Wednesday, September 9, 2020

Gospel 070 ~Four, Five, Sixty-Nine Wills~

Forgive Me Echo,
I AM a Billionaire right now, which means I should have so many nice soft beds to choose from. Why aren’t I in bed now? Inspector Echo, I worked an eight-hour shift at a place I hate. Hell, I huffed and puffed, I was humiliated, and there’s still so much hatred. Yeah, somebody should have told four-year-old or maybe five-year-old me to try harder. Here we are, two days after “Existence Day,” and I ask myself while listening to “Hurt” and motivations. What have I become? Writer, Adult Movie Director, Brothel Owner?

How am I still so ashamed? Inspector Echo, again I face embarrassment at the Day Job. “You wake up one morning, and half your life is gone,” as the song goes. I can tell you I never thought um (What’s My Age Again) I’d be in retail. Books, Broadband, Broads? Well, Inspector, I wouldn’t be opposed to selling those things. I mean no disrespect; they sell a service. For the longest time, I’ve been saying I’m going to publish my books. I don’t know how many I’ve written for NaNoWriMo. Then there’s The Passion Network. Showtime, maybe Cinemax, those were the days, Inspector Echo. Only for now, “I’m a Subscriber.” Yes, I could tell you all about being a member of several OnlyFans and SubscribeStar. Or even another “modeling” site.

Anyway, I joined up somewhere else that I won’t mention. I keep coming back to shame. I’m not ashamed to say I “write” Erotic Fiction. I can say the word Pornographer because it beats what I’m doing now. Dennis Hof is my idol R.I.P. to such an extraordinary lifestyle. When I was but a child, I wanted to be everything from living life as a swordsman to an astronaut. I wanted to serve the U.S.A. as a fighter pilot; then, I wanted to be a war journalist. There was a time that Journalism was my major. Pen, Paper, Photos, Pens, Pussy. Wickedness Inspector Echo, excuse my language. Oh, stop me before I sound like Trump. Person, woman, man, camera, T.V. Now I swear that Grammarly won’t note that sentence, Inspector.

I have dreams that I have to make real and the idea that I haven’t by this point? Yes, I am so sorry, and I haven’t fallen asleep yet, but what have I accomplished? At what time did I get back? Four, Five, Sixty-Nine Wills.

I Will Have No Fear

Gospel 037 ~Mother Of Excuses Will~

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Even if I made that billion dollars I’m always professing to have, I’m sure my Mom would not be pleased I live my life “This Way.” Only being a starving artist ain’t winning me any points either. “Mother Of Excuses Will”

Friday, August 7, 2020

Gospel 037 ~Mother Of Excuses Will~

Hey Lady Sophia,
I AM a Billionaire right now, which means I should be reading more. One of my favored motivations talks about how Warren Buffett reads for six hours a day. We all know that Oprah Winfrey is obsessed with books. I wanted to fashion myself after Bill Gates and at least read a book a week. Here it is another Friday, and I haven’t picked up my latest book, “Too Late.” Once again, I haven’t looked at “For A Fine, Cherry Spread” since I won Camp NaNoWriMo. Now the question is, why haven’t I? My how time flies.

As the song goes, “I came up with a million excuses.” No, Lady Sophia, I don’t miss the Day Job. As a matter of fact, I’ve been kicking myself all this week, worrying. Dale Carnegie must be rolling in his grave. I don’t see myself as Asa Jackson and his obsession with Sloan. Let’s keep it real. Every Erotica I read, the guy is “infatuated” with the girl. You know what I wanted to say, but Grammarly would have dinged me for using the same word. Anyway, MILF Tres, aka Special K, said she wanted a guy “passionate” about her. I am… with seeing her Yabbos again and totally naked. Sigh, before I head down a Dirty Diana train of thought, hell, it’s taken me a week to clear my inbox. I’m almost there. Only would my mother be proud?

That leads me to today and the reason I’m not reading or writing. What we’re doing, Lady Sophia is having a conversation. Last night, I had this bad dream, which is pretty different because it was one of my “Sexxx Dreams” thanks, Lady Gaga. Did I ever mention how kickass Sick Fux By Tillie Cole is? So I was doing something pretty “effed” up. I’m not sure what it could have been… well, again, I’m trying to keep it in my pants. In the dream, though, my Mom caught me, and um, that was that. You know how I conceive any vision, Lady Sophia. They serve as messages, most of the time, warnings. This dream might not even have anything to do with my mother. Yesterday I was talking about MILFS Uno, Dos, and Tres. All I know is, this morning, I wanted to get back reading. If only to dream of something other than the Mother Of Excuses Will.

I Will Have No Fear