Tag: Fear

Log 103 ~Will’s Super Toy Run~

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What’s the game plan, but even now I only want to sleep; what is it about sex and horror as the song goes that wakes me up and at the same time exhausted me unless you have unlimited access aka money. Will’s Super Toy Run, or not?

Saturday, October 12, 2019

Log 103 ~Will’s Super Toy Run~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Billionaire right now, so you figure I’d be happier. After getting the car fixed Thursday, I had that brief inkling of being a successful adult. I said sometime this week that money turns me on. Of course, beautiful women as well. Is there anything sexier than good men that can handle their business? The only time I bother to look at myself in the mirror. Hell Lady Lu, I would trade my face for the wallet of dude that does Naughty Midwest Girls. How about whoever does hentai games like Hentai Key, Virgin Roster, and one I can’t thunder.

The only thing that should be loud today is my fingers hitting keys. Don’t I wish, but there will be crinkling dollars and dropped coins. I’m headed into the home stretch trying to be a good man and a terrific friend. Doesn’t that mean stop wanting to offer MILF Dos money and stop looking for models for now? Nope another found me only yesterday, but I’m not putting up another ad on Craigslist for a while. It was like entering a contest; “There’s a thousand pretty women waitin’ out there,” as Elvis sang. I’m not that old Lady Luna. I am old enough to remember Nickelodeon’s Super Toy Run. Was that once a year maybe but Supermarket Sweep was on the daily. Honestly, though, what do I need today to get where I’m going soon?

  1. Red Dress Shirt, Black Pants, A Pair Of Shoes
  2. Portable Battery
  3. Supplies For My Firstborn
  4. Groceries For The Week or Weak
  5. Something I Might Want To Get Laid In hmm
  6. Wedding Gift For Friend
  7. Holder For My Smartphone

You know how I am with my list, but this one I can’t ignore? I should have said that an hour or so ago all the alarms I ignored. Sunday to Friday, making money, and wouldn’t my book be a fix-it button. Right now, I’m like Hey Arnold in that episode, “The List.” How badly do I want to show off my age today? There was a time the Toy Run would be the best day ever, or when I thought $200.00 would make me a king. Again when I’m not admiring model agents, guys who have young women shoot porn, or brothel owners, I’m only a man. I wish I could buy a bunch of stuff to play with; someone, Will’s Super Toy Run.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 102 ~Penning, Petting, Punching, Will~

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My week has been a punishing one, to say the least, when it should be a publishing one but shouldn’t they all be; you can tell that to the people I work for, wasn’t I supposed to be off today, nope. Penning, Petting, Punching, Will, I think

Friday, October 11, 2019

Log 102 ~Penning, Petting, Punching, Will~

Hey Lady Sophia,
I AM a Billionaire right now or at least pretending this is living. When’s the last time I even saw the Den, having confined myself to bed. In sickness and in health, but that’s more Indiana Gone’s thing at the moment. If I were getting married, I would love getting lost in a hotel room and a pretty little wife for a few days. Not sleeping, ha.

I can’t say I have been working on wedding vows ever. When I was walking my Firstborn today, I was working on political speeches. Once upon a time, I wished to be the Secretary of Defense. Hell my mentor, wasn’t only a Pimp but ran for office and won after death. In all honesty, if given such a choice though I would still be a provider of beautiful women than the President. You deal with people, but as I show, I do a lot for pussy (LANGUAGE). You know how I get with alliteration, and I haven’t been working on Pinterest. What about my terrific model search? I need to go ahead and publish the book first. I’m a writer even here in my bed because the car was again, very expensive. The pen is mightier than the penis, perhaps.

My Firstborn is quite understanding of my exhaustion. From sitting in waiting rooms to shopping for food, friends, and fighting spirit. The Day Job is wiping me out, but yeah I need the money. For the first time in some time, I can say I worked over forty hours. My motivations would say be grateful. Of course everyone else would add, hello this is America and welcome to it boy. My son, though, deserves extra petting with everything happening now.

Life is hard, which is simply a fact. Every day Lady Sophia it’s as if I am at war with myself fighting to be something more. All my motivations would say be yourself, and The Matrix shows know thyself. Now here I am writing, and I ask the question, do you see me changing or evolving at all. I could always check and see who I was at this time three years ago. If I’m honest I think it would hurt to see. Again life is hard, and the truth hurts, repeated lessons as always My Lady. I told Cherry, I’m a reflective gangbanger, quite often Penning, Petting, Punching, Will.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 101 ~Willing To Get Moving~

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Here in my car I feel; well if I stick with my motivations I should say grateful that I was able to pay for it, but why do I need a car, so I can work, make money, and spend that money on, hell more work one day. Willing To Get Moving.

Thursday, October 10, 2019

Log 101 ~Willing To Get Moving~

WARNING, 18+, READER DISCRETION ADVISED

Come In Dirty Diana
I AM a Billionaire right now and crying over 570 bucks. Well okay not sobbing and a little over. If I am going to pay that much, I wish it was not over the car. How else then would I pursue sex. The fact of the matter is every move we make is either going after that. The results of “doing it” don’t I feel like an old man now? Dirty Diana there is also the justification of sex. You know I’ve never paid for sex; not that I’m not willing to understandably. The sadder fact is I have paid for the illusion of such plenty.

Hell, I remember years ago I thought $300 was enough and then I had to fix the car. Here’s a confession, I’ve never had sex in a car. Yeah Dirty Diana, porno lies and also sexy Rom-coms. Take for example the 2009 movie, Public Sex aka “Dogging A Love Story.” To this day I’m still upset about that mom in the Walmart parking lot. The closest my life has ever gotten to being an adult film. Then again I know some actual working girls but yeah where did all my money go this afternoon. After that missed opportunity I was researching “Lot Lizards” for days. Let’s say my Xvideos list got pretty specific. My “Street Blowjobs” list grew. The thing is I wasn’t going anywhere fast. Now I’m thinking about “Indiana Gone’s Wedding” and finding some “strange wool” in a new place, call me adventurous.

Can you call me old too? Two things, one “strange wool” is out of that movie The Warriors. The second is I’m one for the shaved look, if anything. Here’s some more truth for you though, all-girls cost money. Today I read something about calling women girls and the culture surrounding it to be sure. One more thing I’m stuck in, girls, chicks, and you know I can say so much worse. I know this doesn’t sound so sexy today, but dollar bills turn me on as much as women. Maitland Ward is still lighting the porno industry on fire. Of course I’m trying to make sure my car doesn’t catch fire ever. Yeah, so let me burn my cash and keep moving forward, here in my car. So where am I going anyway, Dirty Diana? Well, work and bed but Willing To Get Moving.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 100 ~Will Man, Real Man~

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I told myself last year that a car would be the least of my troubles because I would be a millionaire and today I’m “complaining” about being out on the open road, and you know I’m a Scrooge when it comes to shoes. “Will Man, Real Man”

Wednesday, October 9, 2019

Log 100 ~Will Man, Real Man~

Forgive Me Echo,
I AM A Billionaire right now, and have I ever mentioned, not a car guy. Inspector Echo, I swear when I “live the dream” I won’t have a dozen cars. Hell, I have made it a life goal that I’ll never leave my house again when I’m successful. Now, this is coming from a man that wants to own brothels, a strip club, a studio. Let’s not forget those modeling agencies both here and in Europe. The keyword there is man. I’m Will man, not a wheelman, and being real man SIGH?

I feel used and abused, damn near robbed, the people you can’t trust. How about something out of the Game Of Thrones, the things we do for love. Indiana Gone is one of my best friends, but love? You know I despise most of the people at the Day Job. I am no fan of Mazda at this second. So here I am being robbed to reach one. I’m Losing to be a loser at the other. Okay, Rule 15 states “I Take My Own Lumps” at Mazda. It’s called being an adult isn’t it Inspector Echo? I want to have a Bobby Hill moment and say “I quit.” Don’t get me wrong I am taking responsibility, what’s wrong with the car is my fault. Waiting to go to my friend’s wedding, I’m to blame. Not having the courage to escape a job that I can’t stand, yeah that’s all me Inspector Echo. Still not even a little bit, not even at all am I, as stated before, a wheelman.

I’m only Will, but the thing is I’m looking for more. Being a greedy S.O.B and that’s not changing anytime soon. You know I talk about my Firstborn all the time; am I the best daddy ever. I say it every week, the answer is no, but I want to be his hero. Only when it comes to the women in my life? Now and then, I miss wanting to be the knight on the white horse. The truth is, I want to know acceptance as one of the horsemen of the apocalypse. Why not something out of Disney Prince Ali Ababwa? Then again sticking with music, running is the story of my life, Run boy run, and I’m running on empty no doubt Echo.

Apologies because of all I am, Will Man, Real Man?

I Will Have No Fear

Log 098 ~The Dead Don’t Need Sympathy~

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Why should I worry, rather why should I die, if anything people will still be in tears but most laughing I find annoying and I could do with a bit of peace; ha I was about to say in my life. The Dead Don’t Need Sympathy

Monday, October 7, 2019

Log 098 ~The Dead Don’t Need Sympathy~

Hundred And Fifth Rule

Madam Justice,
I AM a Billionaire right now and still alive. Now I didn’t plan on writing this the day after The Walking Dead returned. Madam Justice, is there such a thing as fate? I didn’t plan on being alive this long, either. Why am I spoiling my good mood? I finished my first Audible book today. So I started listening to Dale Carnegie’s book. Am I worrying; I’m tired as all hell, but for the moment, I’m feeling glad. I guess feeling anything means well I’m still alive right?

When I’m at the Day Job I feel like I can’t breathe. My Firstborn has me rushing around, trying to catch my breath. Hell if I run my mouth at the Day Job, I fear I might overdose on the toxicity of my words. How about what Eric Thomas always says? Fall on your back, because if you can look up, you can get up. If I do sleep on my back it’s because I have work in the morning. Speaking of which, wasn’t I down on my belly kissing the boss’s shoes? If I’m not losing myself to weakness, how about horniness, Xev Bellringer? Okay, I said I’m not suicidal, but that’s okay because people kill me all the time. I don’t expect tears unless I make people laugh so hard. Of course, they’re people who think they can speak for me all the time. Those people, well damn, I don’t choose, I obey.

Madam Justice, there was a time in my life that I thought death was freedom. You know me and my music; as Tupac rapped, “we jump into another form of slavery.” For me that’s Depression and something’s leaking; blood, sweat, tears, and other bodily fluids. Now like I said I don’t expect tears, and this dead man doesn’t need them. You know I never kill myself in any of my stories either. I could be like one of those zombies that need BRAINS! If anything you know I hunger for flesh. I got a sixth sense for that, Girls, Girls, Girls. The truth is I want to live, but I get sympathy there too. Does it sound “deep,” while I’m burying myself to say the dead need peace? I guess I’m a greedy so and so Justice. I’m no Walker though sitting here in my bed.

No more tears for today. The Dead Don’t Need Sympathy.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 097 ~To Trip Up Will~

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One foot in front of the other or let’s say burn rubber but not your soul: sometimes I wish I had a motorcycle, but this is coming from a man that never learned how to ride a kid’s bike and now road trip “To Trip Up Will.” Hm

Sunday, October 6, 2019

Log 097 ~To Trip Up Will~

To Will:
I AM a Billionaire right now, and you could use a private jet. At least you’re honest about things like this. Unlike those that preach their own Prosperity Gospel. One of the things that trip you up as a businessman, you don’t lie. How many times, did I mention Dennis Hof last week? Anyway, either he told the truth, or he said nothing.

First things first, you have to start getting ready for “Indiana Gone’s Wedding.” Here’s a confession, you’ve never taken a road trip before. What about this one to your Firstborn? He’s not coming along. Now, this will be the second time you’ve left him, and the first wasn’t voluntary. You don’t lie, and the reason you had to leave him was because of THEM. The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline. Only yesterday, well today (Saturday), I was talking about the things that get me into trouble. One chat with those people, and everything was gone. You’re scared to death about going to this shindig. Still, Indiana Gone is like a sister to you and your Firstborn’s aunt or godmother. It’s an adventure, like Six Impossible Things:

  1. I AM Keeping It In My Pants (Day 041 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 001 No Fap)
  2. I AM Always The “Father” B III Deserves
    Failed
  3. I AM Publishing My Poetry “GULP”
    Failed
  4. I AM Reviewing Raphael By Tillie Cole
    Failed
  5. I AM Gaining One Patron Or One Model For Patreon
    Failed
  6. I AM Finishing Again, The Art of the Pimp: One Man’s Search for Love, Sex, and Money
    Completed

Yes, sitting at one, but that’s not hard to say. What about this, my beef with Suicide Prevention. Long story short, grandma died, and my “father” said I was going to the funeral. You starved yourself for three days before seeking out help. The police show up. Well, what happened next SIGH. You’re spending two months and change at roach-infested InTown Suites (SHUDDERS). Hell if you didn’t want to die before and of course there’s more to that story. You learned a lot of lessons, but no, you weren’t born but somehow tripped into life.

I didn’t mean to be so depressing, but the point of all this is the starting line. Will this is the first trip you have chosen to take. Every other trip has been an accident of some kind. From the job, you fell into, to the work that some would see you hell-bound. How your Firstborn won’t allow you to fall ever. What about the 98%? You can’t trust your Olds, your managers, A&W, potential models, anyone else? No wonder you spend most of your life on your knees. For damn sure you’re of no service to god. Only Will, you got Six Impossible Things:

  1. I AM Keeping It In My Pants (Day 001 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
  2. I AM Always The “Father” B III Deserves
  3. I AM Publishing My Poetry “GULP”
  4. I AM Reviewing Raphael By Tillie Cole
  5. I AM Preparing For Indiana Gone’s Wedding
  6. I AM Finishing “How to Stop Worrying and Start Living”

You’ll have to run and drive. To Trip Up Will

I Will Have No Fear

Log 096 ~Alpha, Omega And Will~

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The week before it was the Day Job, last week I needed to be a CEO, and this week, well with every Saturday it’s therapy with a bit of dream interpretation; beware hot brunettes, a new Asian girl, sex in general ha. “Alpha, Omega, And Will”

Saturday, October 5, 2019

Log 096 ~Alpha, Omega And Will~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Billionaire right now, and for once, I wasn’t dreaming for more. How am I ever supposed to stay motivated if I keep speaking like this, Lady Lu? I write the truth, and even Dennis Hof said, people, don’t change. Now I wonder is that what my dream was about last night. Now the Walking Dead starts tomorrow among other things. You remember Alpha don’t you but more so Lydia (Cassady McClincy). Here I am, with my weakness for a hot young brunette as always.

Once upon a time, it was Asian women. Now, this is more of a story for “Dirty Diana.” When I decided to “Come Up and Try My New Parts,” it was thanks to Victoria’s Secret catalogs. Still, it was something so “exotic about Asian women. My first real crush was Tina Nguyen (Tram-Anh Tran) from Ghostwriter. Sex and writing were tied up from an early age. When the Internet was born, one of my first searches was Princess Ayeka naked. Hell, that’s how I discovered Hentai. Now I’m a grown-ass man (LANGUAGE), and I’m still into Zone-Tan, the Hentai Key Girl, and Back Alley Hooker. Somehow I thought I moved on when I got “deep” ha into brunettes. Let me say again I believe all dreams contain messages, meanings, and the very best moans. So last night, it was an erotic smorgasbord of Asian women. I wake up this morning to discover Lydia has some Asian lineage inside her too.

Before I make a specific dick joke (LANGUAGE…), why is any of this important? You know I study dreams trying to prevent disaster. I talked about the new book I was reading that says you must live in Day-Tight Compartments. It also tells one to acknowledge the worst that can happen; you can move forward. My problem is I see the worse of others always. I then do things and think, oh fuck (LANGUAGE), for the tiniest “crimes.” Lady Luna it’s one reason I feel grimy. It’s my dirty dreams about Lydia, ravishing many hentai girls, and of course Maitland Ward. How about sexual Pinterest names for Olivia Holt? There was one particular redhead I had a board for, and I got so frightened I changed the name. Oh yeah, and locked it down too.

The beginning of life might be the end, meaning sex. Dreaming Alpha, Omega, And Will.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 095 ~Will’s Choice Of Sentences~

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THEY say one of our biggest enemies is indecision, I know I have to take a breath before I push that publish key or confirm payment, so many others and then so many words have to follow, after. Will’s Choice Of Sentences

Friday, October 4, 2019

Log 095 ~Will’s Choice Of Sentences~

Hey Lady Sophia,
I AM a Billionaire right now, and yes, it still sounds better than a millionaire. How about the decision between let’s say Miranda Lawson and Ashley Williams? Here’s another one, Ashley Graham vs. Fiona Belli. Yes, Lady Sophia, I blame YouTube this morning. I’m still not getting up when I want to, but I was at Walmart to pick up groceries at 7:30 AM. Didn’t somebody once say that time cost money? What do words cost? When I had an English teacher trying to make me hate writing, I’d play a little game. While defining a word, each word would be the jail sentence in years. Definition, twelve words equals twelve years.

One of the reasons, unlike the President I’m careful with words. Every single one costs time, energy, and are ingrained on brains. I saw this girl that scared the hell out of me the other day. She wore a bikini, and a job site used her picture against her employment. I can only imagine what some of my words will cost me Lady Sophia. For example, I talked about Maitland Ward the other day. Don’t get me wrong I have adopted the Ayn Rand quote about Freedom. You know I was never able to finish one of her books. Anyway, my point is those words took time off my life. I’m not mad or anything honestly, but I’m wondering which is worse. Do I want to be ignored, or do I want to have an answer? Hell, I play hopscotch with that line on the daily. I don’t have any published books, but I have had this blog for two years and three months still.

What about my search for models? I didn’t know if I should post on Craigslist. Next thing I know, I get two more potentials, and one girl was perfect. Of course, I’m a beginner, only one man, and I can’t blame her for looking elsewhere. You know how much I respect women Lady Sophia. Okay, my poetry and novels might say otherwise. I did have this idea of making my next protagonist female though. Didn’t I talk about NaNoWriMo starting soon? I write stories and can’t define words like FEAR, MAN, STUPID, UGLY, shall I continue. No, because I need to have motivation as always. I’m reading, “How to Stop Worrying and Start Living,” now.

Time, Will’s Choice Of Sentences.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 094 ~Willing To Be Surprised~

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The things that women do, hell Dennis Hof never had it easy with his business, and neither did his girls but where they found they found themselves, surprise, surprise, but what about myself? Willing To Be Surprised

Thursday, October 3, 2019

Log 094 ~Willing To Be Surprised~

WARNING, 18+, READER DISCRETION ADVISED

Come In Dirty Diana,
I AM a Billionaire right now, surprise, surprise. There was a time in my life when I wanted to be surprised on The Day. Yes, it’s October now, as the song goes, wake me up, when September ends. Well, you want to know what woke me up this morning? Of course, after my Firstborn’s walk and a promise of lunch. Maitland Ward, you know “Rachel” from Boy Meets World is getting naked or has according to my research. She’s doing a feature called “Drive” directed by Kayden Cross. Yes, I saw her naked too, yep porn.

One more reason I adore women, and yeah, I’m frightened somewhat. Now before you go calling me a punk, “I am not a coward,” thank you, Dale Gribble, or was that After Earth? Anyway even the great Dennis Hof said:

“To me, a woman is a goddess, and I can’t live in a godless world.”

Now I will never be a man of the “normal” faiths, but THEY talk about loving God and serving. Despite this, THEY still show surprise at “Acts of God.” So it is with women and me or even my taste. I don’t understand somethings women do, not that it’s bad. To this day I still remember when I talked MILF Dos into getting naked for me, wow. I haven’t spoken to “Okay” in ages, but she showed me a nude picture with no prompting. I could go on; the whole men and women can’t be friends theory I still hold.

Everybody remembers The Frappening. Dirty Diana, I still want to fuck Jennifer Lawrence. Another surprise this morning; what the fuck happened to Chloë Grace Moretz’s hair? The big question I should be asking is about myself? After a release, and no, I’m not getting back on Brainbuddy, I dwell on my path. Nothing has changed Dirty Diana; I’m still looking for models. One day I will own those brothels, strip club, studios, etc. Only once upon a time I was a guy merely writing poetry. I got more than enough for a lot more 100 poem compilations. What women will inspire my next erotic novel; NaNoWriMo is coming up in November. How can I be exhausted and full of energy at the same damn time?

I don’t get tired of women ever. Wasn’t I talking about being sick a day or so ago? My sex drive is too damn high, but that’s not a bad thing. Well, unless I’m talking to you, downloading TeenStarlet. Even now thinking about that “Kayden Kross Fucks In The Bathroom” scene. Oh yeah and Maitland Ward’s videos. I found Teen Topanga back in the day, of course not the actual actress but a good lookalike. Speaking of which I could go into parodies, cosplay, and everything in between, but I’m running late as is right. For once though it’s food. Only I still keep money in my wallet like the guy in “Street Blowjobs” Women SIGH Willing To Be Surprised.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 093 ~What The Health Will~

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Last week I talked about living and this one I’m an obsessed zombie when I’m not out for the count, and while I’m all for flesh, I could go out and get some real food but everybody’s time is valuable, even mine. “What The Health Will.”

Wednesday, October 2, 2019

Log 093 ~What The Health Will~

Forgive Me Echo,
I AM A Billionaire right now, and it’s funny that I chose a photo of Dampé The Grave Keeper last week. It’s not right of me to think or feel this way with my many motivations. Still, aren’t I allowed to feel sick, and it is my fault. See Inspector Echo; I do take responsibility. Only this doesn’t make me any less of a Scrooge. Yeah, I should shut up, we haven’t even seen Halloween. Not digging the Christmas stuff at the Day Job but the burial is underway these sick days.

Yesterday I said I wasn’t sick. Now tell that to the McChicken sandwich and fries. What about a whole mess of sour gummy bears? Again nobody’s fault but mine because in the words of Idiocracy, “I Like Money.” I also like Indiana Gone, routine, and self-harm. So where does the pain go, again I take you back to yesterday and my YouTube binge? Girls, Girls, Girls as the song goes, along with some cash. I fucked up Sunday (LANGUAGE). So am I official back to Frapping? Well, Monday I bought a subscription to TeenStarlet and got Dennis Hof’s book on Audible. I also quit BrainBuddy; what I wasn’t using it at all. If it’s not women, it’s sleep. Where has all my energy gone; back to looking up girls. Hell Inspector Echo I fell asleep in my hoodie and sweat pants, all the lights on.

Tuesday continued to be humiliation in both jobs. I still have a model to talk too. The thing is I know what’s going on next week. I have to read that other Dale Carnegie title “How to Stop Worrying and Start Living.” I was so exhausted I got the wrong book from Audible. Now before I continue my self-pitying, I will say that Norton let me down. I swear if it wasn’t the Facebook hack that scared me how about Norton’s services. I learned how to unsubscribe from Brainbuddy; I can cut off Norton’s extras. All this morning I was researching that. Okay Inspector Echo, full disclosure, Money Talks Taco Muncher and Dong Diner. I’m always good with the research, aren’t I? What about other people? How many Friend requests am I ignoring this time?

Now that’s sin above all else, and I’m sorry, Inspector Echo. It’s all about their time and mine as always. Only Will What The Health?

I Will Have No Fear