Tag: Happy

Episode 267 ~Success’s An Option, Failure’s Not~

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What do I want at this moment, to get out of a shift at work and at first I would say I’m afraid; no it’s because I don’t want those “people” to get there rocks off making me stupid, that’s a success. Success’s An Option; Failure’s Not

Monday, March 25, 2019

Episode 267 ~Success’s An Option, Failure’s Not~

Seventy-Seventh Rule Madam Justice

How To Make One Million Dollars, as the song goes I’ve Been Everywhere girl. I’ve written love letters, tried songwriting, poetry, short stories, novels even more. You know it started with two words MY NAME. Again with my hypocrisy. I wanted to be a comedian, war correspondent, a pilot, a sailor, even the Secretary of Defense. I suppose if all these things have anything in common, it’s a need to escape. Rewrite the rules, and since I’m on a music kick, I want to Fly Away Madam Justice, I must.

As morbid as this may be, we’re all destined to leave this place one way or another. How many steps do we take while we’re here? I think I’ve seen the ocean, there are pictures, but I don’t remember. There were plenty of trips to Florida with my family. Why yes I’m about to sound like an ungrateful SOB. Only looking back on my life that’s like a prisoner being allowed to walk the yard, once a year. I’ve been to New Jersey, New York, Washington D.C. but these words Madam Justice. Not only the ones I write but the ones that echo in my mind. None of us are free. Now for the first time, I have to travel “On My Own Alone” well with B III, of course.

Do I want to talk about “Indiana Gone’s” Wedding? What about my success? My motivations always go on and on about finding out what you want? Yes, a bestseller, brothel, my slice of Babylon. I want to see the world Madam Justice. Still, here I am scared to death in my own “home.” So this leads me back to escape. Only do I want to outrun my fear, face it down and conquer it, live with it but dare to do so? If it’s not that, success is me wanting to find something but what? That I’m not as STUPID as everyone would have me be. At the moment I wouldn’t mind being Jordan Peele, going that deep with “US.” What about the meaning of life hmm. I found it.

Seek out a kingdom Worthy Of Your Soul. Now when did I forget that? My motivations say that the purpose of life is to be happy. So I could be looking for that. Dare I call that success? What’s one more song or movie, as Eminem put it “Lose Yourself.” I need to get Untethered from the “man” I am. In the end a Carnival Of Flesh or Gold, All I Ever Wanted. Well, a success I’m stopping with the music. With my life Justice, Success’s An Option; Failure’s Not.

I Will Not Have Fear

Episode 261 ~Add It Up, Will~

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In love with love, no, how about a girl, as for now, still living that bachelor life, and becoming obsessed with Detroit: Become Human, Crave, and work is killing me; not even enough for a drug habit. “Add It Up, Will,” Love Is All You Need

Tuesday, March 19, 2019

Episode 261 ~Add It Up, Will~

Dear Future Wife,
How To Make One Million Dollars, fall in love or didn’t you miss me? Was it a choice? I mean it should be right and dare I say romantic to say it out loud. Only everything points to the contrary. As the song goes, your Love Is My Drug; I like Kesha…

People use words and phrases like, you killed it, slay, and fierce. Then they wonder why some run from love. Now, this wouldn’t be the first time I said something that ticked you off quite considerably. I knew this mom once… anyway, when I saw you, I was downright petrified. Yesterday I talked about what Medusa did to men, turned them to stone. Makes sense that my heart would skip a beat, that I couldn’t catch my breath. Also, my feet were solid concrete slippers. Almost a moment after though I was like a zombie waking up and what was I willing to do to stay alive. When we take our first breath, it’s not a choice. Everything we are makes this demand, sometimes more, others less but need it.

How many songs, movies, and books preach that love is all we need. Speaking of novels, I’ve told you before I want to love you like one. I want to fill our home with you. I can’t go a second, my watch ticking down to when I’m with you again. Like this morning if you weren’t here. Of course, I would be cursing my clock for waking me up from my dreams of you. My hands would be Jonesing for my Kindle, a pencil, my keyboard to speak to you. I can hear the words Toxic, Poison, maybe even Fever. Would it be better as I say often enough, it’s a disease this thing called love. Hell, it’s damn near a crime unless you’re like one of these “Alpha Males” I read sometimes. Should I be asking for a billion?

No, you would be the Padmé Amidala to my Anakin Skywalker. Only you joined me in front of “God” and some others, and you scare them too, My Love. I wonder did you look me up. Did you want to know all about me? Then again I’m an open book, and you walked in and became my heroine, my muse and love. I want to give you such a life as you gave me. Is that why I was so slow finding you, being this Walker, a Whisperer, and an avid TV/Movie Watcher. The addictions that I gave up and those we indulge in together. I have no more bad headaches from 5-hour ENERGY. My anger fled when I walked out of my day job and was able to begin writing full time. To be with you and our children, and I have never seen anything more beautiful. So yes you are my addiction, infatuation, obsession, I Crave you and what does it cost me… so Add It Up, Will.

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 254 ~Will You Maddy Me~

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Well this “experiment” is a lesson learned and awfully “creepy,” but I was tired enough to try it out anyway so yeah I may be sticking with the “Dear Future Wife” motif but Amandla Stenberg is hot as Maddy. Will You Maddy Me?

Tuesday, March 12, 2019

Episode 254 ~Will You Maddy Me~

Dear Madeline Whittier,
How To Make One Million Dollars, I guess it would help if I learned to speak proper English. Let alone write it, but some things we have to release. My voice, this fear, love, but the rub is I never want to let you go. Ironic that this world is full of things that terrify me. Maddy, you stand at the top of the list yet I’m still here today and always.

Am I cured, the way that I fell for you? I would dream of you. To be beside you at the movies, and the park. You can see that I’m no Luther Vandross at all. Only I must have been seeing and hearing things. The first time I came to believe that we could be together. Enough so that you brought me down to one knee, and I struggled as if this would be my last moment, seeking a breath. To feel a heartbeat, and I asked to borrow yours forever. I became a new man, yours and from this crazy little thing called love. I am not seeking an Escape. Not to Heaven or from Hell. No doctor or God could give me what you have now and forever.

I don’t need a cure for the man I am because I’m the one you love. I promise As Long As You Love Me I’ll be what you need and more. You know it took finding an angel to make me reach for Heaven. Still, I don’t want to go. I want to be here, no matter what this life brings us. Yes, I won’t always be “brawny,” right and bright as you can tell. Still to be yours, the husband, the lover, someday a father to our children, I will make you happy. If anything that is what I want, for you to be “blessed,” that is why I ask you to stay. Because madness it could, would, and should be but if we all learn to love. My what is foolishness would be right and true for us.

Your white dress, the pages I write, the jacket I’d wear. There is not one thing that could convince me otherwise. The word for that is always, for better or for worse. For richer, poorer, in sickness and in health and everything else in-between. This love is everything; you Maddy are everything. So Stay, every time I look in the mirror I ask the man before me to Let My Baby Stay. I will strive to be the man that can make that happen, the moment I knew to ask Love, Will You “Maddy” Me.

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 247 ~Babe Will Baby Will~

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I was “The Walking Dead” at the Day Job this morning, and I asked myself, why do I do it, besides keeping BIII and myself fed; he cries when I’m gone I bet and I want to but if I had more family? Babe Will Baby Will

Tuesday, March 5, 2019

Episode 247 ~Babe Will Baby Will~

Dear Future Wife,
How To Make One Million Dollars, make a cure for Everything, Everything. Someone is working on a zombie virus right. When that happens, I’m going to be the man, a grim outlook on the future but when I’m with you baby girl?

In sickness and in health, isn’t that how the vows go and probably before anything else you’ll see me have a panic attack. Even now I want to say I’m sorry and to think I worry more about my teeth than my mental state, such is my vanity. Everything else is easy to cover up, even when I’m sweating because it may take a few years, but I will have the flu again. So I’ll be in a huff; I’m going to howl, and please help yourself to the store. I would be there for you, do I need to say that out loud, the good news is I rarely fall for more than a day. Some days you might ask was I looking more for a wife or somebody to ride out the apocalypse with me… no comment love.

As with the kids and their homework, I know I wanted to cry plenty, but I can tell you this, nobody here is stupid. Between dozens of numbers, getting a D on a test and being thankful and my “dad” I learned to be anything but him. Sure I learned how to count money, and I’m a stickler for being on time as usual. Only I never want to be the reason our children cry. Again with my many apologies, I still do when I step on B III’s paw, but when I give him a treat. If I bring tears, I want them to be of joy, and yes laughter still freaks me out a bit I wish you and all our progeny to be happy. Yeah, I’ll still be a prepper, part of the reason I guess I want to enjoy every moment.

I know when I’m going to cry. How much was it when we got the kids. So you can call me Noah if anything happens to Triple B. I’m going to be the man on the island, sorry that I can see that now. No, I wasn’t the man to cry seeing you in your wedding dress but knowing we’re together… Do I compare that to publishing my first book, going into business? Yes, things may get weird when my father dies, won’t be sad. If I thought crying more would save you tears, I would, but I want to be a man. If only you knew how many pretty girls brought out the waterworks in me before. Please remember above all else “I love you,” those three words are yours; Babe Will Baby Will.

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 240 ~Will Becomes A Philosopher~

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I read two types of books, boy loves the girl, or a man who loves life, put them together you get a fairytale and yet I’m no prince, beasts, or lovable who knows what but if I read enough, study, dare to ask. Will Becomes A Philosopher

Tuesday, February 26, 2019

Episode 240 ~Will Becomes A Philosopher~

Dear Future Wife,
How To Make One Million Dollars, become a mind reader or “choose” to be Gay. I know, not funny, that’s probably why I thought about Geology rather than Philosophy. Neither one pays well but judging by the rock on your finger or the fact that we’re here.

Any boy that grows up to be a man and marries his dream girl. Well, men are on a constant mission to figure women out, to become mind readers. Before I met you I knew what I wanted to convey, I wooed, I warned, I won, but for most women, I inspired one emotion… FEAR. Maybe I give myself too much credit perhaps it was disgust. Still, while I ponder the big questions. The greatest one in my life has to be why you STAY with me as I’m not good at a one-night stand.

One of my motivations says that Bill Gates talked about superpowers. They asked if he could have one he would want to read books faster. Now I have dreamed of being of being a superhero too, not Superman but Your Man… did I mention I’m not good with talking? Anyway, while I was at work, I think the best surrounded by the undead. So that got me to wondering the concept that if I had a superpower, I’d want super speed. My Love, am I that afraid of you, wanting to get back to you. Wanting to ask “God” or whatever a million times to please Let My Baby STAY.

If I’m going to be on my knees anyway, I might want to rethink my stance on time travel. How I owe so many apologies, and I don’t even understand what I did wrong. I don’t know how Goofy got man status, and Pluto didn’t either. So full of questions aren’t I but always the same. How Lovestoned am I, hardheaded, and hard of hearing as my heart skips a beat at your answer. Yes, you’ll STAY With Me Tonight.

How I worship you my goddess or do I stand for my woman. My queen, mother of our dragons or whatever else they may be in this world and no one else’s. How about do Christians stand or kneel for their flag? All I know is I love you baby girl, I’ll pray for you, fight, and die, to protect you. B III, the dragons, walkers, future Sith Lords forever; STAY a little bit longer.

Forever might be how long it takes me to get it, so I guess it’s a good thing; one of us is a talker while I sit here. Like Socrates, Plato, or Aristotle. Were any of them married? I also lack Rumi’s mind. Only if I Love You was hard enough for me, how trying the words I Will Stay must be as no girl has; Will Becomes A Philosopher.

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 233 ~Will Becomes A Geologist~

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I’ve never been one for shiny rocks, I find life hard enough, and if I ever publish a book I want so much cold hard cash, and as I heard on an episode of “Daria” money can make anyone beautiful, but so can Love On The Rocks. Will Becomes A Geologist.

Tuesday, February 19, 2019

Episode 233 ~Will Becomes A Geologist~

Dear Future Wife,
How To Make One Million Dollars, find a way for pets to live forever. Make phones hard enough we’ll drop them anywhere. Also when you hold hands with someone, you’ll never get separated in a zombie apocalypse.

I think to call you “my post-apocalyptic zombie survival fantasy.” You know “George Romero” is a higher compliment than calling you, my wife. Okay, aren’t I glad I bought that new case for my phone? Yes, I can be plenty enough hardheaded. Only how can I not be. The first eighteen years of the lives we lead are devoted to learning things we are meant to keep. Let the kids come to me for homework help sigh talk about finding purpose. Is that why I married young. I was in my thirties; you were in your twenties, where did you dig up that fossil, which beats what people usually say.

They tend to put you on some pedestal, not knowing I wanted to be the man that built it as though I were Pygmalion. Believing you would be my Galatea. Yeah, I should again work on my compliments. Still, while I am always one for classics and tradition, Beautiful, well I need more words. I’ll also count this as one more reason I’m a writer, and you know I write every day, and these words appear in hardcover books. How about on so many tablets and Gulp phones, they rest on so many shelves. My Love, I wouldn’t know the first thing about building a house, but I know cold hard cash gets a lot done. My wife, lover your warmth our house becomes a home if the hardheaded kids take a seat like ever.

They must take after me a lot only; I hope that love finds them quickly. With us my love and especially B III, how long did he dig to find love in me? One paw print on the ground and when he fell, still learning to walk. Talk about twenty seconds of insane courage. How it took me so long to grow into the man “God” meant for you. Old habits baby girl I was raised in the church, dumb as a rock but stories like Adam’s Rib. That a man needed a flaw, an imperfection, brokenness to know a woman, Heaven’s Light, I know I found it in you, I found it in you. My Candy Rain, classics sigh. Much like my ideas for books, like The Logos Girls, is writing a real job, geology a real science, The Way You Make Me Feel? It’s hard to love me I know. Love is a lot of things, but I’m yours, husband, writer; if I was a sculptor… well then again, Will Becomes A Geologist.

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 226 ~Caesar Was Ambitious Will~

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I think I was more like Brutus today because I completely butchered my feelings today but is it not ambitious to try once every week talking to the future wife, yeah that’s a job position nobody wants, Step Into My World. “Caesar Was Ambitious Will.”

Tuesday, February 12, 2019

Episode 226 ~Caesar Was Ambitious Will~

Dear Future Wife,
How To Make One Million Dollars, maybe B III should have kids and though I agree with decreasing the surplus population as in spay and neutering “pets” I would never have that done to him and besides like father like son. We both aren’t ones to trust; you remember I would say, if you’re not my dog, my girl, or applying for the position don’t touch me and what anniversary is it again, just kidding but yes my love, you get the job, good night, good luck.

You see Caesar didn’t have anyone to cover him, but I have you, Caesar wanted the world, and you’re mine, and the Caesar salad… I think that is for Caesar Cardini actually, but you know I make a mean grilled chicken salad. One of many things I learned to make though I can’t say I have much range in the kitchen only the fact baby girl that I was willing to wish on every star in the night sky. Hold my breath until I found the right word, that I fell for you, Caesar was never so ambitious; he wanted the world, I wanted you. He landed at the feet of men, and how you love were lost in a graveyard; yeah pretty dark but how many men have wanted to win your heart and the fact is that Here And Now, I’m Still Standing.

Why… because of our little ones that want “Yoda” rides, or must my back remain strong to carry Triple B in his old age, hell I had to get stronger to bring you over the threshold, (I say that before Valentine’s Day, seriously gulp) maybe me and Caesar are more alike. Could it be that I wanted to wear a cape for once and be a superhero, you’re not in distress, you would be a great zombie apocalypse partner, or I can no longer deny that there is a Heaven when I lie down in bed and look In Your Eyes. The fact is I have chased everything under the sun because I wanted more for me, then for you, then for us and am I only now realizing I have it all right now.

You’ve Got It All over him, blood, sweat, and tears I’m sure and what’s that old saying, what doesn’t kill you… I’ve always found it funny that the first moments of love are like that, again falling, heart skips a beat, Take My Breath Away and all that. Caesar didn’t expect to die and still to be with you is Heaven; even if I conquered the world, you are mine, and the rest is yours, yet Caesar Was Ambitious Will.

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 219 ~Will Walk With Me~

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“Run boy run” as the song goes and the sitting down only gives me more time to think about the job I’m running away from or getting kicked out of, what about exercise and then again Office Space much? “Will Walk With Me”

Tuesday, February 5, 2019

Episode 219 ~Will Walk With Me~

Dear Future Wife,
How To Make One Million Dollars, talk in a funny voice, maybe like the first time I asked you out, that moment at your door, how about getting a word in edgewise when we took B III for a walk. As always I am a traditionalist so was it standing there waiting for you or watching you walk down that aisle, the running to be by your side when I honestly “poured the Bisquick” and ta-da more kids, and then there are days like these my love.

You know how I guard my words but truthfully, walking up to you… it was like a graveyard at night, the first charge of a battle, taking Dante’s place in the Inferno but what did I expect wanting to reach an angel. It was wanting your company more than the air that I breathe and yet feeling like I’ve run a marathon, every breath, knock knees, heartbeats cascading with every footstep. “THEY,” say dogs know people but my little boy, “He Don’t Love You Like I Love You,” but with all his barking and pulling, hell that was an easy walk, and I took your hand in mine… where are we going, we didn’t ask.

All I know is that I wanted you beside me and again, I’m for tradition but not a church guy and yet there I was to know Heaven’s Light, and I asked myself what took me so long, time to make turtle soup, give up childish things. Only I’m not feeling my age; I want to teach the kids about Star Wars, rush back and forth watching The Walking Dead, even stand in line for movies the likes of Trolls. Today though all I want to ever know in this life is I’m Coming Home To You to rant, rave, respite, and relief lie imminent, to find rest, a moment where I never need travel.

It’s amazing how many steps I’ve taken for people that don’t give a shit about me (yeah I don’t like swearing, intelligent but a bit pedestrian) so the question is why did it take me so long to move towards, well something, someone that I love? Sometimes I’m not the man I want to be, sometimes I think I’m not the man you need, and when I was a boy it was walking no running, we can just lay here, only my love can you ask, Will Walk With Me.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZLfrRhvQEYU

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 212 ~Tooth Of Will’s Smile~

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Last week I said something about not being much of a talker and today, quite by accident I got a look in the mirror and found out why I shouldn’t open my mouth… better to smile with my eyes or even my lips. “Tooth Of Will’s Smile”

Tuesday, January 29, 2019

Episode 212 ~Tooth Of Will’s Smile~

Dear Future Wife,
How To Make One Million Dollars, better yet, what would I feel if I had it already, what if Publishers Clearing House rolled up right now, published a book, maybe having a publishing house one day? A smirk, a dreamy sigh, but a smile, there was a time. B III was my family, and I think about how I lived back then and what he and I needed, joy, faith, hope, of course, I call you love, but a smile wasn’t required.

Even now, my love, I can give you as many smiles as you would like, I’m sure if my firstborn weren’t eating, licking, or guarding he would wear one now, I want our children to be happy every single day. I am too but wearing a smile… THEY say it takes more muscles to frown than to smile but why do you think I’m so strong, trust me carrying a collection of grins is no easy task which is why I give them away so quickly. Maybe I want people to see this beautiful family we are, did we ever discuss the tooth fairy situation, and I go back to that quote from “Deep Down.”

“Nothing in the world is the way it ought to be. It’s harsh and cruel. But that’s why there’s us – champions. It doesn’t matter where we come from, what we’ve done or suffered, or even if we make a difference. We live as though the world is as it should be, to show it what it can be.” Angel

Is it wrong that I keep my smile from the children, again Triple B doesn’t care (developing cataracts, poor thing) but when the others are giving money to the ice cream man, imagining the story as I read to them, or wearing a mask on Halloween? Did you mind, the first time we kissed; like my B III, I can eat plenty of your cooking (the big piece of chicken) or how about waking up in the morning beside me. Now I want to hide my smile even from myself or like most things I do it differently because… yeah I know you’ll tell me not to worry when I look in a mirror and when I call you beautiful, even with my mouth it doesn’t make it any less real, your smile matters more.

Mine though, well, I still wear glasses for a reason, I wouldn’t fool around with Lasik but this is America and being a successful author, running a business, having a family, I’m happy even if the pearly whites won’t say it, but I suppose one day I’ll “try.” Can I show you what I feel without it, a requirement, to laugh, to talk, and hopefully we don’t go back to a vampire or werewolf craze though I liked Twilight, Blood and Chocolate, Underworld, and let’s not forget zombies Warm Bodies, yours and mine this is happiness, Tooth Of Will’s Smile.

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 177 ~Will, He Knows Santa~

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One day I do intend to have a house with a chimney and a vast fireplace and be it the roar of the fire, all the wrapping paper, or my mom’s Whitney Houston Christmas tunes I won’t mutter bah humbug. Will, He Knows Santa.

Tuesday, December 25, 2018

Episode 177 ~Will, He Knows Santa~

Dear Future Wife,

How To Make One Million Dollars, I mean if it’s not under the tree, which is only one more thing I’ll have to learn, putting up a tree, Christmas lights around the house, and probably housebreaking B III again as he’ll do what dogs do. I’ll do what dads or excuse me Santa Claus does, I mean sometimes it can be an art, another day a science, a minute, a moment, a memory to make someone happy, the kids, you babydoll, myself, a night like this I Believe In You And Me.

Since I’ve grown up (have I) lover, husband, father, I suppose I have learned to appreciate Christmas for other reasons, yeah I like working overnights, breaking into my house, getting to pretend to be someone I’m not. Maybe that song It’s The Most Wonderful Time Of The Year has it right to a certain degree and here’s another thing what would be my Christmas wish, kids tell you straight, and you aren’t honestly the shiny trinket type of a girl and of course with Triple B, as long as it goes into his mouth… I can be Scrooge, Santa, any one of the spirits, a student of gift giving though like the Beast to Belle:

Excuse my language my love but you know I could be so much worse and on this night I have seen those that would lie but for if not a noble reason, one that brings happiness and joy, tradition and I am a traditionalist. I am my mother’s son, and while I couldn’t tell you what she truly feels about Christmas, she would do anything to see my sister and I happy. I want to see you smile, I want our children to have everything they desire and if that means they believe in a man with a long white beard and a red suit well the things that I have faith in you know?

That’s why my friend got me a zombie fighting kit, how I believe that B III will be quite grey for the time being and if somehow Santa got you here to me, talk about a Christmas miracle indeed. So we’ll stay up tonight, wrapping presents, sipping cocoa, watching The Preacher’s Wife; yep my mom got me hooked or maybe A Christmas Story or A Christmas Carol, and perhaps by the early morning hours I’ll see the man I need to be wishing us all a very Merry Christmas. he’ll have to knock, or maybe the kids see you kissing him, perchance he’s in the mirror, Will, He Knows Santa.”

I Will Have No Fear