Lesson 297 ~I’m A Wanted Man~

Do I love too much for having no one to “love,” well anyone with two legs that is; of course I love my dog like pancakes because he wanted my waffles but that’s a long story. I’m A Wanted Man but for all the wrong reasons that I know sadly.

Tuesday, April 24, 2018

Lesson 297 ~I’m A Wanted Man~

Dear Future Wife,
I Am Not Fine Today or more like I didn’t receive a fine today, thankfully I don’t need bail, and yet here I stand wanted, needed, and loved, the only “Wanted” poster I see is the man staring back at me in the mirror. A man captured by his love and I’m guilty as charged, never let me go, throw away the key, though you won’t hear me calling you the ball and chain, as the song goes “What’s My Age Again?”

I’m not one to compare you to a summer’s day either though I’m sure you’ve heard enough of my romantic quips and my smartphone is a constant source of inspiration such as “I Want You To Want Me.” I want to know a want like putting the phone on shuffle and waiting for that all too perfect song to pop up on Spotify, and you can’t help but dance and sing. You know maybe how I am on a Sunday when I’m watching The Walking Dead/Fear The Walking Dead, “Into The Badlands,” and “Westworld” all rolled into one. An addiction like looking up something on YouTube and getting trapped in a stream of dog videos and reactions to shows, talk about “Let’s Get Lost” and we will be but speaking of wants for some reason I want regular TV too, does that make me weird.

Just like I want to be the last thing on your mind when you go to bed, I want to be like a story you tell yourself to help you sleep, as I would once replay Far Cry 5 or Saints Row in my head I want to be your “Escape.” Hell, I want you to be my Anastasia Steele… what too soon, I mean my Anastasia meets Abraham Ford, let’s make some pancakes one day. I want those pancakes to wake me up in the morning and what is it I always say, I love my dog like pancakes, my first born and all.

“When you were, uh, pouring the Bisquick, were you trying to make pancakes?” Abraham Ford

I promise no jokes about women wanting everything and don’t they say “All You Need Is Love” thing is that isn’t a choice, and while I want that too, every day I want to choose us. If this heart has its say I will because I want you, need you, believe, have hope, and many things in-between like the air.

Do I want too much, if wanting such love is a crime then guess what love? I’m A Wanted Man.

I Will Have No Fear

Lesson 290 ~My Title Changed Hands~

What’s in a name Juliet once asked, well first you have to decide on one and terms of endearment run quite rampant and ooh baby, baby, while a classic can get a little old though I tend to put a spin on it. My Title Changed Hands.

Tuesday, April 17, 2018

Lesson 290 ~My Title Changed Hands~

Dear Future Wife,
I Am Not Fine Today, what’s wrong… how long have we been together and I still feel like a new man, like James Bond with my Bond girl, the Pumpkin with his Honey Bunny, and at least half a dozen YA Novels that we could be. Nobody that comes into this world chooses their name, which is why all our friends are probably going to be the same as us, naming their kids after their fandoms maybe.

Then there’s you, my wife, my Mrs., my best friend and to think there was a time I was too afraid to ask your name, I’m no good with names, really I didn’t know my grandmother’s name was Marie forever. It still freaks me out some to hear the cries of “Daddy, Daddy” all over the house and I doubt the dog thinks of me as “Dearest Human, Dad” well of course he does, my first kid and all. Now here I am again a new man and when I wake up in the morning, what is it, “Good Morning” sweetheart, honey, love, babe, if it comes from your lips I know I can be whoever I need to be.

Call me a traditionalist or just one for the classics, seeing how my last name fits next to yours or hell we could make a name all our own because I’m sure my family’s first words will be who’s that girl, shortened to that girl, or girl. To me, you’ll be “Baby Girl,” babydoll, angel, my queen, for a guy that has owned several thesauruses, beautiful is going to be my go-to for quite awhile. You think I’m one for music, oh there are so many movies if I happen to say “Ditto” or “I Know” after you tell me you love me and you get the reference… well, love grows all the more right?

Will there ever be a time I don’t love your name, depends on who I’m mad at maybe but what’s in a name, I’m just Will, and you’ll be who you are and have always been to me, and that’s the woman I love. I think one day I’ll even learn to love my name as much as I love yours, “This is my wife…” and I’ll be that guy with the gorgeous wife no one can ever forget ever.

My parents and the world have had their fun; I want to be someone else, I want to be yours, so My Title Changed Hands.

I Will Have No Fear

Lesson 283 ~Ok, I’m Up Now~

Which is more exhausting, writing a love story or trying to live one and doing both, I’m going to start having to write a bunch of reasons just to get out of bed, to be honest. “Ok, I’m Up Now” the question is what to do

Tuesday, April 10, 2018

Lesson 283 ~Ok, I’m Up Now~

Dear Future Wife,
I Am Not Fine Today, not that it matters to my dog and any fur babies you bring along and a man needs all the love he can get these days, the best part of waking up I believe. You know I’m not a big coffee drinker, so I will take eight hours when I can get them; though being a husband and a father might mean having to make do with much less, again just how the world works right now.

The best way to a man’s heart is through his stomach rings right, and I do like bacon, just ask my parents, then again don’t that’s just something that tires me out but the food is good, bacon, pancakes, hash browns. Since my eyes will already lie shut, maybe a kiss or two would perk me up, a reason to look up as I’m usually asleep on my belly if I know I don’t have anything to do in the morning but just my luck… As the song goes love lift us up where we belong, have you been playing with my playlist; nothing gets me in the workday spirit as much as Easy Street.

What about when the work day’s through, maybe that’s why I spend so much time writing now so my other books will be few and far between; with all due respect to Skye Warren, I just can’t produce novels that fast. You might have to wake me up to write though, and that will be far easier when I get to quit the day job at some point, talk about motivation to get up. Love, you are plenty but how am I supposed to get anything done, if I was a sculptor, well then again I’ll find some other way to love you, my angel.

Though there is something to be kept about the classics; the two-legged children or six if we count all three of them, speaking of things to produce fast, because if I can tell when my dog is crying at two in the morning… If I know I can see your smile; that I can feel how you “Love Me Like You Do,” and everything that might require more than words. Who would need an alarm clock to wake-up any day?

As for this moment, I only want to cuddle with you and watch wrestling though it gets a bit boring at; Ok, I’m Up Now.

I Will Have No Fear

Lesson 276 ~Put Your Feet Up~

I should probably be searching the world while I’m by myself to find my future but aren’t I too busy building Heaven… maybe the dog likes to eat, but I will “try” to find dog-friendly hotels while I’m planning a vacation. “Put Your Feet Up”

Tuesday, April 3, 2018

Lesson 276 ~Put Your Feet Up~

Dear Future Wife,
I Am Not Fine Today, and I can tell you aren’t either; after I catch the dream girl and our kids. It seems we are always playing catch-up and with that, the truth is, we could use a vacation. I’d preferably not do a whole lot of walking, sandals, and flip-flops aren’t my thing but only long enough to stick our toes in the sand is enough.

I want to walk hand in hand with you on those trails I once took by these lakes in the old neighborhood I used to roam, I mean I would sit by those lakes and write… nothing against fishing but it would just be me and my notebook. What about something usual like Disney World. A whole lot of walking, standing, and more chasing, shall I become a prince against and seek out my princess, or maybe I’ll smile as my daughter rejects the Jedi and joins the Sith, we could even travel the world in a day, World Showcase.

We could travel the world honestly; it’s funny that I was thinking about not taking one step out… still a possibility but there is so much to see, so much to do, a whole new world. My parents were traditionalists, so I only know Disney in Florida and Universal Studios really and speaking of which, things to do without the kids… The Purge Horror Nights would be right up my alley. To me, that would be somewhat equal to taking you through Michael Jackson’s Thriller, or we could do Saw; maybe a real zombie horror show; looking for a reason.

Why not pull out all the stops how about Japan or China, there are so many places I want to visit, Pairs is the city of Love and Amsterdam… what I don’t drink a lot and cigarettes kill, but it’s been a long time since I’ve been high. Yes, you’re my angel, my princess in a tower but the whole idea is not to work for it. Only, for now, I suppose that is what we’re doing; America, America as the song goes, but we will take pictures with our phones and cut off my incredible Purge playlist just saying.

Yeah, we’ll put our feet up on the couch and play some Fortnite Battle Royale or PUGB and order a pizza because, Every Day Will Be Like A Holiday when my baby comes home because you been running through my mind all day so go ahead, Put Your Feet Up.

I Will Have No Fear

Lesson 269 ~What’s In The Male~

Love is supposedly in everything, for everyone, or so people would have you believe and what I think is that such a word should have power, that they should feel you up, singing all you need is love. “What’s In The Male”

Tuesday, March 27, 2018

Lesson 269 ~What’s In The Male~

Dear Future Wife:
I Am Not Fine Today, how can I be, when we first met I didn’t have the guts to talk to you and yet somehow here we are, and somehow I still don’t believe it. The echoes are going on in my mind; wait a second “where is my mind” I suppose like most it rests in my smartphone along with all of my music; now my empty hands but we’ll come back to that won’t we?

My will became your wish, and “your wish is my command,” and so did my ringtone apparently, though I felt I was losing nothing, how could I, why must I ask again and again what I had to offer you. Now I am not a man of faith, but as I learned from my childhood, Jesus gave his life, Adam his rib, and God his time, what all does any man have but his future? Now, this heart truly belongs to you, my future is in the other room, and when I felt hollow and empty, as I wonder what even makes me myself anymore…

Women give life, my mother created a son, she tried to make me a gentleman but as she would tell me, I would find my way and I became a man out of love for her. Call me greedy, call me selfish, but I am a man out of love for you my dear wife, I say I became a man out of love for them, and still I wanted more. How this goes far beyond just being a male or being human, son, man, lover, husband, father, friend, brother. Okay, I’m working on the brother part, ask the sister I text, and the two half-brothers I don’t talk to ever, that’s a lot, right?

What lies inside me is love, I gave my heart, and you gave me yours, along with 3.5 others, yes the dog is always included. There are days without the echoes because your words fill my head with such comfort.

There are far more incredible things than my phone when I take your hand in mine, and I find there is always so much more to give, that I go from empty to overflow, but I don’t have to contain it, not with you my love, do I? To this day I wonder will it ever be enough, but women ask, What’s In The Male?

I Will Have No Fear

Lesson 262 ~WILL Rest In Pieces~

Being swept off your feet, or as the song goes “Love lift us up where we belong,” is there any wonder we aren’t all broken with all this falling and such, hearts are a lot stronger than I think but they could still lie broken. WILL Rest In Pieces yep

Tuesday, March 20, 2018

Lesson 262 ~WILL Rest In Pieces~

Dear Future Wife,
I Am Not Fine Today; sometimes I think that living for the love of you, my heart has grown so much that surely it can’t all be there and I don’t think it’s supposed to be actually.

You’re my wife, my lover, my best friend; well, the dog might have something to say about the third; anyway what you are not is the maid, though there will be days when everything has its place and others when it looks like a crime scene. Neither are you a therapist, well who knows but I will try to keep it together, the house is one thing, but as for myself, all I need is time and you, I still believe. As Chris Rock said once “Every woman on the planet’s a spy.” You will never have to piece together my love for you; you’ll know that every single day, you’ll find it my babydoll.

I see that in those pieces of me, of you, of us in the next room, maybe I do wrong my heart too much, fragments growing into full hearts all on their own and I need not worry but of course I always will because that’s my job. Love can be one great puzzle so how are any of us even to begin putting it all together, how many pieces are there in total, what have I lost along the way, yet keep it together?

A single kiss from your lips and my words are not so broken, and when I find them again I love you doesn’t seem so complicated, and it doesn’t seem big enough either but there is such peace discovered there. Even more so when I have my arms around you, how can anyone be so fragile and still be stronger than anyone I know, I want to keep you but I cannot contain you, and it feels like I might break at any moment and when I have, when I do and when I will… All Of Me as John Legend sings, and here I am trying to sweep you off your feet again, but in case I haven’t made this clear, I’m your Humpty Dumpty, and you’re my Wonderwall.

You deserve so much more my love than to stay beside a broken man but you do, and while I might never know why; one piece of me will wonder, another will try harder but someday, somehow beside you, here and now, forever, and always I WILL Rest In Pieces

I Will Have No Fear

Lesson 226 ~LOVE Is A Great Power~

What’s more powerful than love, I can think of a few things but wouldn’t that mean I love them because I adore the idea of power, one day as Scarface put it “The World Is Yours” or how about Captain Planet “The Power Is Yours.” LOVE Is A Great Power.

Monday, February 12, 2018

Lesson 226 ~LOVE Is A Great Power~

Nineteenth Rule Madam Justice,

I Am Not Afraid Anymore because I understand more than most that “Power Is All That Matters” but that’s rule thirteen, and today love’s a form of power. Love can bring down God itself if people were to walk away entirely, so what chance do mere men have; better men than me have been brought down by this universal concept.

To this day I continue to quote from “The Eternal,” it’s a disease this thing called love, and I know how dangerous it can be; the real deal Madam Justice and the last time that happened for me, it was furry and walked on four legs. Thirteen years later, come tomorrow, and I am still a slave but as am I so he is too; don’t even get me started on women though, talk about no one man should have all that power. In today’s world, however, the mention of the word love though seems to have weakened, it no longer holds its sway, and this is just one more reason I am looking for more but what is greater.

“With great power comes great responsibility.” Peter Parker, Spider-Man (2002)

Now unlike let’s say 1984 I believe that power takes on many forms, many faces and love is just one more, a primal nature even before the word was born, this is merely the word used to define it. Some talk about love is magic; love is madness, love is master and king and makes fools of us all and while everyone else plays the fool? Well again I am not immune to it either but I acknowledge it for what it is, and I would control it rather than be at its mercy. Haven’t I learned love is not born our servant, we cannot master it, but there is more Madam Justice, I think?

“Power tends to corrupt, and absolute power corrupts absolutely. Great men are almost always bad men.” John Emerich Edward Dalberg-Acton

Love is much the same, not that I would call all great men corruptable but what would you do in the name of love, the second circle of Hell is strangely the understanding that you were willing to do such things, for the power of “love” if even for a second. Dollars, revenge, life, but love, if you have a person’s heart, I think you should beware; I am not afraid anymore, truly because how many people love me now?

I love my dog, I love my mother, but how far is that love, how would I define it, is it my love or someone else’s that controls my destiny, LOVE Is A Great Power.

I Will Have No Fear

Lesson 185 ~Nice Guys Finish Last~

Love will find you, not if you never go anywhere and I probably should have made that another resolution, to get out more because I’m so far behind as is, sorry but your princess is in another castle, or so they say. “Nice Guys Finish Last”

Tuesday, January 2, 2018

Lesson 185 ~Nice Guys Finish Last~

Dear Future Wife,
No Fear, the princess always gets rescued in the end, as if you needed it, though I ask myself, however, did I find my way to Heaven, you are an angel, right? Yeah and I’m no nice guy though my mother raised a gentleman, so it’s a miracle I found you at all, at the closing of the year or the beginning.

I doubt it was a new year’s kiss, though I look forward to every one of ours now that we have found each other. Math was never my strong suit, and neither is a history anymore and don’t get me started on PE, but with you, I want to know everything and for the first time in my life I find myself late for something. If anything I was late loving you, and for that, I apologize but is it the journey or the destination that matters in truth babe?

On the one hand, I’m the first, the last, the only, to be your husband and you’re my wife, so I think we both deserve the gold there, and we have evidence of that. We both have something to do with our sweetest creation. Once upon a time, I was busy. Writing about you, dreaming of you, trying to please you; well, I don’t mind finishing last there, but then you were late, and well there’s history. What about the day we met, the look on your face when we first kissed, the man I was before all of this, no it wasn’t the journey it’s the destination, you’re here.

Then again, how long did it take to kiss you, how long until the first I love you, the first fight, makeup, it’s been a long road getting from there to here and shall we talk about geography as well? One more year, what’s one more year to us, I want tomorrow, Valentine’s, birthdays, anniversaries, Christmas, and new year’s tell me where you’ll be the day after, will I be chasing after you or not.

I will stand before you against any and all but when it comes to this house, our children, even the dog, and undoubtedly you I guess I don’t mind being in dead last. Perhaps I am a fool, but love makes fools of us all and Nice Guys Finish Last.

I Will Have No Fear

Lesson 178 ~Shook Me All Night~

All I want for Christmas all I need is the money to pay for it, boys dream of toys and men dream of, well; I think Santa is a good man, and if I could do all that he can for the world, for the family I hope to have one day? “Shook Me All Night.”

Tuesday, December 26, 2017

Lesson 178 ~Shook Me All Night~

Dear Future Wife,
No Fear, you know I’m usually all in my head about something and now that I have you why do I need to dream but as the song goes “Some Nights.” You’re more than enough to keep me up, to hold me down, whatever could make me want to leave your side?

This time of year, we have little faces waiting for Santa coming to visit, and I will never let them down, not even the dog that is looking for everybody to share with him. There is the woman I love more than life, and I won’t leave it to just Christmas, Valentine’s, or your birthday if I’m not showing you every day how long will I love you then I’m not doing my job. Maybe that’s what shook me last night after all the gifts were open, the kids drifting off with smiles, my four-legged friend stuffed and you my happy wife, I want more than one perfect day for all of us but how?

Keep doing what I’m doing, that’s a lot for a man like Santa, and he only needs to do it one day out of the year, and maybe that’s what scares me, the other 364 days out of the year my love. Last night I thought about how quickly we could come to Santa not having a roof to stand on, the one that I want to keep over our heads. I tell you this, hold each other, dance to “All You Need Is Love” but I can’t shake this feeling, but we’re in this together. By what right would I ever have to doubt you, this, or us, If I didn’t believe; you make me feel like a kid on Christmas every single morning.

They call it a man’s world though, and you know that I’m not like most, I’m luckier, more in love, I’m yours, and I suppose that what the rest of the world thinks doesn’t matter. So we pretend but not with us, no never with us, and that’s why I woke up so early, no more sugar plums for me, yet what would I call you, beautiful, “good girl,” mine?

A reason to come back to bed, a reason I won’t have another nightmare because you shook me all night?

I Will Have No Fear

Lesson 171 ~A Spoonful Of Sugar~

“WebMD” is a friend to no man, and yet we’re all big babies when we get sick, and no my mother isn’t here, and the dog can only do so much to comfort me, but God bless him for trying. A Spoonful Of Sugar, she doesn’t have to be, “Mary Poppins Y’all.”

Tuesday, December 19, 2017

Lesson 171 ~A Spoonful Of Sugar~

Dear Future Wife,
No Fear, if WebMD just happens to be right for once and I’m dying well… you’re my angel, and this must be paradise so I’ll do everything to stay with you now. Even if I feel like Hell at the moment, you give me fever, “I’m addicted,” and love hurts sometimes, and that’s just a fact baby.

Ooh, baby, baby, I won’t ask you to stay, I’m not sure what I look like or if I won’t be running around every ten minutes and I’m sure I’m the one being the baby. My love, you brought life into this world, and here I am praying for the hour of my death, and at the same time, I’m burning, freezing, coughing and sneezing, queasy and nauseous, but you’ve seen me worse right? I can’t imagine how you are seeing me now head in a bucket or curled up in the fetal position, maybe locked behind some door now.

You couldn’t save me before, and I’m not asking for you to keep me now, so what am I asking; of all the things I could ask a beautiful woman and as I said I wouldn’t ask you to stay and I won’t tell you to go. The golden rule maybe because if you were here instead of me, I wouldn’t leave you alone, I know my place would be at your side even if you hated me seeing you in such a state. I guess I’m just not used to anyone wanting to look after me and I try so hard, to be so strong, and now I can’t even pretend anymore, and yet you’re still here with me.

In sickness and in health isn’t that what they teach, forsaking all others but we got bills to pay and sometimes a man has got to be a man, a husband, a lover, a friend, a father and so many other things. My woman, wife, lover, friend, mother to our children and how can I ask you to be my nurse or indeed anything else.

Only you’re the one making me take my meds, cooking, cleaning, holding my hand, singing to me, bringing me back to life and that is difficult for me to accept. A bitter pill to swallow but I love you for it, you don’t have to kiss me though, I must look so gross right now but A Spoonful Of Sugar.

I Will Have No Fear