Tag: Marquis de Joker

Chronicle 043 ~To B Some Monster~

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With all the crimes I’ve committed, it’s the one that nobody says was a crime that I wish had a punishment. Hell, Jason didn’t do anything in the first movie really until the end and the others. I can’t have others… Not trying To B Some Monster.

Friday, August 13, 2021

Chronicle 043 ~To B Some Monster~

Hey Lady Sophia,
I AM a Billionaire right now, more like Joe Millionaire. Okay, I’m only Joe, well Will. But if PCH comes by, um…

The point is I wouldn’t brag. I wouldn’t shout it from the rooftops. Hell, I would have to learn how to open the windows first in this house, and that’s a whole other story. Today is supposed to be about B’s. You ever heard about Scream Queens? A Barking Prince? Braxton lived with a monster forever, and for 15 + years, he survived. I wonder what I looked like to him. Of course, the best case being his Daddy. That’s always my hope but considering how I look at my “father.” And again, after these last few weeks. Asshole! Sophia, if that’s all I was, I could cope. I even told M Anime I like the mask, but yeah, I got terrible teeth SIGH.

Only every day when I’m at the Day Job, and I take a break. I’m sitting there in the coat/locker room, trying to stay out of the way. “Oops, you scared me, Will,” that’s what. Every time I write something down, what happens. It’s a miracle I don’t have the cops swarming me now. With Monday’s accident, I wouldn’t be surprised, which is a worry. Speaking of concerns, the only people I think I can talk to about them all I do is bring them down. With Braxton’s blood on my hands doesn’t mean I have to make friends messy. The Horror, the Horror of being me. Of my mere existence, breathing, beating, the basics of life. Jason was dead. Oh, look, Friday the 13th.

Yet Jason wasn’t some B-Movie monster. Lady Sophia, I know Braxton wasn’t some drunk or fucking around teenager. There were those two months we were separated and his aunt’s wedding… I’m not being asked to save the world like “The Tomorrow War.” I don’t even have the “option” of leaving it like “The Last Astronaut.” I almost left B III. Never like that, I mean when I almost killed myself so many years ago. Could I have done better as a ghost, a specter, whatever it was that room “1408” was, an evil fucking room? No, I had to be a zombie or some psycho. Now I’m worried about being arrested again like before Braxton got sick… Is that ACCEPTANCE? Trying To B Some Monster.

194 Days Without B III

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Chronicle 042 ~B Smart About It~

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I may not be a smart man; no, that’s it. B III was heart, gave me guts, and I ask myself if I only had a brain. B was asking for some kidneys. And I didn’t start learning about them until it was too late. Yet I read trying to “B Smart About It.”

Thursday, August 12, 2021

Chronicle 042 ~B Smart About It~

193 Days Without B III

Just Me Baby B,
Did you have a good day? You can guess how mine went considering we’re talking right now. Sorry, I’m so late.

Another one of many apologies me being late. Pretty damn late seeing you hurting Braxton. Everything I should have gotten to make your life easier, there was always another time. Braxton, I’m thinking about that accident I got into Monday that made me late returning. It’s not like you’re here waiting, but it’s the first time I was pretty anxious to get back. You know I would rather be in bed than anywhere else or on the couch reading. Again one more reason I’m late. I’ve been getting into the Great De-evolution series of novels. Talking about how the world ends, yeah, it wasn’t a bang or a whimper, not even a bark. When my world ended, it was only with your silence B III.

I told M Anime the other day that I can’t stand stupidity for stupidity’s sake. You weren’t dumb, B. You only thought the humans you knew were. I can’t blame you for that. Is that why you were so content to lie there as I read so many nights? I get you, helping me out. All you need know was I was there and so were you, and that was that, my smart boy B. How I once talked about Love for this and that girl. But what the hell did I know, B III. 15+ years to learn that word, Love. I didn’t believe it was a prize but a gift, um Aloe Blacc.
Love is a choice, at least to a certain extent.

I believe it is a form of madness as well. Only you found a way to have such peace, Braxton. Oh, I’m only “Human,” an “Ordinary Human,” with a “Human Nature,” um B stop me. Yeah, I could go on forever and a day. Still, on top of driving better, I write better with you. Now reading, I read “The Hauntings of Playing God” when you were here. Yet I’ve read about everything on the Great De-evolution since. A man and his brother, a man and his son. A teacher with her students, a man, and his cat. Guess what they all have in common. No wonder the guy decided to become The Last Astronaut, but he wasn’t so bright. Me, B Smart About It.

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Chronicle 041 ~B Side Me Driving~

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Is there anything worse than being STUPID? I suppose being dead, but I know plenty of wise dead men. I sat beside one for 15 +years. But for his genius, he feared getting in the car. Hell, I’m 36 and will be 37 when again? B Side Me Driving

Wednesday, August 11, 2021

Chronicle 041 ~B Side Me Driving~

Forgive Me Echo,
I AM a Billionaire right now, and I’ve always debated whether I would ever drive again. Limos, have to come with drivers?

Now I’m not here to debate driverless cars. Dealing with one other driver was enough for me Monday. As I said, I’m not going to forget that ever. Which leads me to my first sin of what, today? I’ve had to commit several, which is why I’m talking on Tuesday. Driving is a necessary evil. I‘m not turning into Sheldon Cooper, considering I’ve been driving for decades… Jesus, what’s my age again? So my sin is not the fact that I could have hurt someone. I’m glad I didn’t, but I’ve cried more over B III than some old lady. My sin is the fact that I won’t get over my STUPIDITY. Reasons for Self-Harm 101 ahem, my father, Braxton, and everything I consider STUPID.

So the world is one gigantic torture chamber. I spoke about a lot of movies yesterday or today (Tuesday). I can’t watch any film that’s STUPIDITY for STUPIDITY’S sake. For the record, I wasn’t on my phone or anything when the collision happened. Blaming myself? I don’t even know if I should, though the lady seemed to think it was my fault. I didn’t claim guilt, but what I find fault in the fact that I still draw breath? The Day Job, the lady, the cop if dude decided to beat my black ass (dude didn’t). My Olds. Braxton’s Death. Inspector Echo, it’s all my fault, and I deserve to be punished. But like the song, “I said, he doesn’t look a thing like Jesus.”

Fuck me, I was a better driver with Braxton. I should have started a list of reasons I need him. I could sum that up in one word, LIFE. Save my Braxton, save the world. Speaking of yet another reason to like The Tomorrow War. By loving one beast, I could hate myself a little bit less. I’ve said it, as I hated the world and myself, that killed Braxton. Driving with him, seeing as he would never sit down, I had to slow down. I wasn’t rushing to get out of the way. While I wanted to get “home,” well, Braxton was my heart. Was I looking for a reason to finally face justice? I won’t ever be A-ok. But B Side Me Driving

192 Days Without B III

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Chronicle 038 ~Closing Time Will B~

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Closing time for the Olympics. After the Opening Ceremony and trying for two days… yeah, if I didn’t close my eyes to sleep (not that I was bored). I was exhausted, but that didn’t stop me from watching YouTube or seeing my son. “Closing Time Will B”

Sunday, August 8, 2021

Chronicle 038 ~Closing Time Will B~

To Will:
I AM a Billionaire right now, and it’s a little bit funny that you think you can get on my level, day one.

I suppose I should be proud that you dragged your pathetic ass out of bed and to the table. Now I don’t mean to be so cranky considering my failures in the last week. I envy you that you won’t have to slog through the week I did. Of course, I know you’ll feel the same. So how are you right now? That eye a bother, sigh. I did what I could, ok, so I fucked-up. Is your tongue still on fire? As I was telling Lady Lu, at least at this stage, it’s not COVID. You don’t know how to explain it when you gather your strength to move. Wakefulness is something to be treasured. Although failures become more prominent, um Six Impossible Things:

  1. I AM Finishing Reading, The Last Voter, A Great De-Evolution Novelette, Chris Dietzel, Completed
  2. I AM Finishing Gathering, My Braxton’s Albums
    Partial
  3. I AM Sending Gulp Off To Be Published SIGH
    Failed
  4. I AM Keeping It In My Pants (Day 001 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 001 No Fap)
  5. I WILL Work On Getting My Tattoo Of Braxton
    Failed
  6. I WILL Be The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

Speaking of what you’ve been seeing since you awoke, do you intend to watch the Olympic Closing Ceremony? You could do that now, and you should with the week you’re about to face. You’re going to need all the sleep you can get these days. Maybe you’ll learn about closing something other than your eyes. Haven’t we talked about having a problem with closure as though you’re Sheldon Cooper? It’s one of the reasons you’re not in the ground yet. How about sitting right next to B III, you think? Don’t think you’re forgetting about him anytime soon. It’s why, like it or not, I was searching for other levels of pain. What you did to him was a Circle Nine Sin. Six Impossible Things:

  1. I AM Finishing Reading, Succubus 5 (Hardcore Dungeon Core) – A LitRPG Series
  2. I AM Finishing Gathering, My Braxton’s Albums
  3. I AM Sending Gulp Off To Be Published SIGH
  4. I AM Keeping It In My Pants (Day 001 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL Work On Getting My Tattoo Of Braxton
  6. I WILL Be The Man My Son Thinks I Am

Hell, if you were to do these things, would that earn absolution, salvation? How about joining Braxton. As I said yesterday. Be careful with the language as people do SUCK. Today you should be much further ahead. But I did receive some news the other day, and as much as you deserve judgment, I was trying to keep you out of jail. Cell door closing. How long has B’s box remained closed? One more thing for the memorial list, hmm? “Stuff And Thangs” should be closed since I doubt you’ll be doing anything this week. What about closing your bed as in making it up to resist such incredible temptation. The sweet temptation to close your eyes yet you always see. Closing Time Will B

189 Days Without B III

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Chronicle 036 ~Let’s Book It B~

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One completed story, well not. I did 50,000 words, but there is so much more to that tale. Only I’m in no rush. Too busy running around the Day Job, such is my Hell, my punishment. Missing good stories and liking “bad” ones. Let’s Book It B

Friday, August 6, 2021

Chronicle 036 ~Let’s Book It B~

Hey Lady Sophia,
I AM a Billionaire right now, but you still can’t buy time. Where did all the time go today, you ask, hmm?

Sad hours seem long, but I have no story for you. Not one I want to tell anyway. The Day Job, useless, worthless, and nothingness. I wouldn’t even subject my memories of B to that working Hell. That’s what today was, Hell. I’ve said before that whenever I’m in pain. When I feel the world will end (what one’s more)? When I find myself in times of trouble, as the song goes. Lady Sophia, all I need say is one word; Braxton. Then what I’m going through is nothing at all. I continue to tell stories of B III’s strength, his sacrifice, and how he sailed away. Only I can’t even say I looked at his novel after finishing it; what, about a week ago?

I can’t even tell you tales about any Olympic glory. I’ve pretty much given up seeing any of it besides the opening ceremonies. If I’m lucky, I may see the closing but with this week. I couldn’t even get it up to watch wrestling this evening. As if I need one more thing to remember. I could run my mouth to Braxton for a while and make sense of everything. While I’m thinking of all the things, I enjoy all going bye, bye. How about the book I was reading this afternoon. I did finish the novelette for this week. Six Impossible Things and all. Yeah, one more story, though, of how I failed. I’m running from those things, from the world, from the truth.

Stephen King wrote, “God is cruel; sometimes he makes you live.” Desperation. That’s what I did today. M Anime has nightmares she tells me about, and she asks about my dreams. I don’t have nightmares per se because I live mine. Inception, just waking up. Sure some people have it worse. Tony Baker lost his son this week. Now that’s something nobody wants to put down on paper. Children bury parents, Lady Sophia. Time though, what have I been doing with mine? Well, other than re-watching parts of “The Tomorrow War.” Wasn’t it in June? I was all about Spontaneous, but I needed a new story. I don’t know why this one is getting to me. My life story sucks plenty. Let’s Book It B.

187 Days Without B III

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Chronicle 035 ~You B Leap It~

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Might as well jump as the song goes. I do that a lot for and at the Day Job. I would jump to plenty when B III was still around. Now I barely crawl out of bed, and I’m “lucky” if I don’t go tripping down the stairs. Will I learn to fly? You B Leap It

Thursday, August 5, 2021

Chronicle 035 ~You B Leap It~

186 Days Without B III

Just Me Baby B,
Did you have a good day? Believe it or not, Wednesday wasn’t half bad. Of course, I got a half-day somehow.

I’m sorry about my, let’s say, baby language or garbled, terrible “puns.” I wish I could tell you about anything, period B III. What is it with Olds that makes us switch how we speak in an instant? So I recall when you weren’t much taller than my shoe. Yet I jumped, I leaped B. Even when you weren’t my son? I didn’t mean to go all “Billie Jean” there, but you know what I mean. When my sister was busy doling out orders because she had so much to do. It went from “let me sleep” to carrying you around. My Olds wanted to show their home, and I didn’t have your leash, and people wanted to see the house. You jump, I jump.

Braxton, you jumped so high, you made it all the way to Heaven, the Rainbow Bridge, wherever. I was at the Day Job today, again Wednesday, but always I feel like I’ll be scared to death. I’m getting old in the world myself and wouldn’t mind dying on the fly. However, I know you don’t like me talking like that. How do THEY say if your friends jumped off a bridge… I don’t know if I’d follow Carolina Bound or M Anime but for you. There’s a reason I keep you above the weapons and by the closet. WWBD, always. Thursday, what would Braxton do? Now that’s something I should have jumped at, sooner, like Monday of YOUR last week. How about after your appointment?

I didn’t jump to the worse conclusion until the vet was calling me that Friday. I didn’t leap from my seat. I was nowhere near high enough to punch God in the face before asking him to save you. I wasn’t rich enough; I didn’t leap into action. There’s nothing. Only the “Space In Between Us.” B III I wanted to be an astronaut when I was young. When I got older, I wanted to be a fighter pilot. Yesterday I talked about all I wanted. Funny that I can tell you more about the circles of Hell than anything in Heaven, my B III. You weren’t here when I finished Jacob’s series. Do you think I’ll fly to you someday? You B Leap It

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Chronicle 034 ~B Leave, You Asked~

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I shouldn’t jinx myself on wanting to be a father. 15 years ago, I didn’t know what I wanted, and now seven months later, I’m not sure what I’ve got. I know I’d give these days back for Braxton. Only this is “my” life. “B Leave, You Asked” but didn’t

Wednesday, August 4, 2021

Chronicle 034 ~B Leave, You Asked~

Forgive Me Echo,
I AM a Billionaire right now, and before you get on me about the title… Let’s not talk about the Basic Bitch.

Remember “Autumn Leaves,” that’s how this blog got up in the first place. Braxton leaves too, well, on Sunday, January 31, 2021. A day which will live in infamy, as does this fact. I never asked to be Braxton’s Daddy. Don’t get me wrong, Echo, B blessed me 15 years. Only I never asked for him. That’s what I was musing about at the Day Job today. Johnny Cash sings in HURT, “What have I become.” He never asked for such a life, I take it. How about Kid Rock’s ONLY GOD KNOWS WHY? “You get what you put in, and people get what they deserve.” Did he ask for the life he made? A life decision; what he asked? I didn’t ask for Braxton.

While I was humiliated yet again, “Tuesday,” I wasn’t asking for ideas. Who would ask to waste their life at my Day Job for a decade, and yet there I was. Inspector, here I am. Dammit, who would ask to be sitting here in bed with no signs of a future? Let’s keep the tunes running with R. Kelly’s I WISH. “Y’all look at me and say, boy, you’ve been blessed. But y’all don’t see the inside of my unhappiness.” I keep saying Inspector who asked. Should I say it was Braxton because it didn’t matter to him as long as we were together, Echo? It wasn’t his choice to die. I made that decision, and I didn’t ask. Asking to be a murderer?

That’s why I should be quiet? No, because when I am, life gives me all these things I didn’t ask for. At the same time, if I open my mouth to speak, what good is accomplished? Wanting a job to hold me over when I’m asking for time and again what do I do with it. Well, I’m still talking to you when I should be reading because I’m damn exhausted. Looking for something to do so I got someone to love. Yeah, I was looking for Yabbos for one night, and instead, I got four paws sharing my bed for 15 years. Fuck some Yabbos. Hell, if Braxton wanted anything, it would be for me to give up sleep. I couldn’t. B Leave, You Asked.

185 Days Without B III

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Chronicle 031 ~B There Tomorrow Will~

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Since I wasn’t working all night on “My Turn to B III,” I helped myself to a movie, just what I needed a father losing his kid (oops.) I’m not looking forward to this week, when have I ever because I know. “B There Tomorrow Will.”

Sunday, August 1, 2021

Chronicle 031 ~B There Tomorrow Will~

To Will:
I AM a Billionaire right now, and I know that you wouldn’t be worried about Space if you were. No, you’d Time Travel.

It’s no secret that I don’t think of the consequences of my actions many a time. Last night I saw “The Tomorrow War” (thanks M Anime, ha). Now you’re the one that has to think about it for the next week or so. Better than a new month of treats lying in B III’s room. Even more so, that the week that lies before you. It will be one of those. I’m so sorry, bro. So what’s with the bro? While we’re on pop culture, I finished reading Succubus Lord. Will you watch Werewolves Within? I wonder what time you’ll find your bed, bro hmm? Everything reminds you of Braxton. That’s something that’s not going to change any time soon, like these Six Impossible Things:

  1. I AM Finishing Reading, Succubus Lord 18 (Succubus Lord #19) by Eric Vall
    Completed
  2. I AM Finishing Gathering, My Braxton’s Albums
    Partial
  3. I AM Sending Gulp Off To Be Published SIGH
    Failed
  4. I AM Keeping It In My Pants (Day 001 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 001 No Fap)
  5. I WILL Finish Braxton’s Novel (Yet To Be Titled)
    Completed
  6. I WILL Be The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

Well, two of them will, at least. Again no more Succubus Lord and I didn’t leave you with the failure of Braxton’s Novel, “My Turn to B III.” There is only that of watching your son die at all. Once more, with the time machine. If you could go back and save B III’s life? Chris Pratt “Dan Forester” knew he was saving his daughter’s life after… should I say it? I’ll show the video anyway. Jacob and Todd got the happy ending. Jacob is The Master of All Creation, and Todd rules the Third Circle of Hell with Zoey. I’m just full of endings. You’ll know the ending of Werewolves Within soon. I think you have a problem with closure like Six Impossible Things:

  1. I AM Finishing Reading, The Last Voter, A Great De-Evolution Novelette, Chris Dietzel
  2. I AM Finishing Gathering, My Braxton’s Albums
  3. I AM Sending Gulp Off To Be Published SIGH
  4. I AM Keeping It In My Pants (Day 001 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL Work On Getting My Tattoo Of Braxton
  6. I WILL Be The Man My Son Thinks I Am

It’s your endings, at least. The motivations talk about, if you believe the future will be no better than the past, you won’t want to leave your sheets in the AM ever. Case and point, where are you right now? I failed in the past, and now how does your future look? Yep, it sucks. For once, it’s not fear that stops you. It is experience. It’s what has you plotting how to get out of a particular shift this week. Because you don’t want to be some good-for-nothing fucktard… pardon my language. You can’t do something Day Job wise, yet you dream of better. I don’t know what answers to give you… Stay Alive. Only for what, always for B? B There Tomorrow Will

182 Days Without B III

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Chronicle 029 ~My Turn B III~

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I wanted to do something with the letter B, but as I finished “Braxton’s Novel,” the title just appeared, “My Turn To B III.” Only writing is the easy part. Will his story become another one that simply sits collecting dust? “My Turn B III”

Friday, July 30, 2021

Chronicle 029 ~My Turn B III~

Hey Lady Sophia,
I AM a Billionaire right now, yet I can only imagine it feels better than finishing writing. “My Turn to B III.”

That’s the title of my latest novel. It just came to me, and don’t ask me how. I’ve never been one to understand my creative processes. But in this case, I need only tell the truth. Once again, I have to remind myself of this fact. B III is dead, and I killed him, Sophia. Dammit, I’m no better than your average Republican. Not doing anything and getting angry at everything. That’s why I had to turn off the news for a bit, and I’ve been watching The Walking Dead. Better dead than red, as they use to say right. I’m still sitting in bed. I’m sure I’ll be out once Amazon does its thing. Let me just say some stuff for pretty, pretty girls.

One in particular, or should I talk about OnlyFans or my own “Stuff And Thangs.” You know I let a lot of things fall by the wayside when it comes to NaNoWriMo season. While I completed Braxton’s book, I can’t help but be disappointed in myself. I needed B’s notes. Lady Sophia, this is my 2nd book without him, and with what I wrote about, my 3rd strike. I killed him once in reality. The 2nd time was in my Cherry books. Now I talk all about the day. It only took 1000 words to be written this AM. Will I get some sleep, hmm? If it wasn’t writing B III’s story, you should see the text with M Anime. Braxton was trying to help…

You know, with taking a few fingers here or there. Wow, I can’t accept I wasted so much cash on Dragon Speaking software I never use. I always figured it would save time, and I could do more with Braxton when he wasn’t lying in the sun. Braxton’s yard sigh. Jungle would not be overstating it. From the Devil’s in the details to some of those details might need my attention. How about Jacob being the son of the Devil; excuse me, Lucifer. I am going to miss the series I’m reading. I even missed my quota favoring B’s work. I’ll always love my boy, but I am relieved that for now, I am done. But what comes next, Lady Sophia. My Turn B III.

180 Days Without B III

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Chronicle 028 ~Million B’s To Ehh~

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It’s written that brevity is the soul of wit. With B III’s statute, should I have written a “short” story? So, I’m not funny, but I’m not a lot of things. I’m only human after all, and hopefully, I’ll have 50,000 words saying what? Million B’s To Ehh

Thursday, July 29, 2021

Chronicle 028 ~Million B’s To Ehh~

179 Days Without B III

Just Me Baby B,
Did you have a good day? My day has been pretty busy writing, but of course, you’ve seen my condition before.

Well, um, I’m a bit worse for wear. I even talked to your aunt this evening, and she had to make sure I was eating. I’m not bathing, and I have barely made it out of bed, but again, you know I’m talking to you late. Past 8:30, so you should have your meds, Braxton. Speaking of some medication, I should probably take something myself. I already cleaned out those Jell-O shots. Now, how many times have you seen me drunk? You remember what that’s like. Remember the time you had the tick in your ear, and I carried you. Braxton, you couldn’t even get off the bed; that brings me right back to today. Tomorrow should be better, B. I’ll be finishing your novel.

I know what you’re thinking. For all the times I participated in NaNoWriMo, and you had to sit here and watch. I’ve written about 500,000 words total, and that’s with all of them. At 50,000 words each, that’s about ten books. In treats and French Fries, that’s not a lot. Braxton, if I had published and was successful, well, it would be all you can eat for yourself. I swear, B, I would buy a franchise and let you hang out. With that cute face of yours, let them try to complain about health codes. Or does a vest work in these situations, you think? I thought writing this book would be easier because I didn’t have to look up much of anything. Our lives.

You know how I say BLM, Braxton’s Life Matters. All about you, B, and if I wasn’t a disappointing enough Daddy, I’m a crappy writer. I’m always down, especially now, not that your story isn’t compelling. If anything, I only want to do it justice, and so far, B III. Hell, I was reading over it all day today. Well, I realized there is still a lot that’s left unsaid. Either that or I repeat myself again and again. The truth, what happened doesn’t change. Even if I were Shakespeare reincarnated, it wouldn’t help if I never share your story. This might even be the last page of it, Braxton. Reincarnation huh? I was saying I didn’t know why I wrote. Million B’s To Ehh

Always and Forever,
Your Dad