Episode 130 ~Take My Will Away~

As badly as you want air, that’s one of my concerns, I’m always looking for a reason not to breathe, because sometimes that is the hardest thing to do; I want to give life to some many so no wonder I feel like I’m in outer space. “Take My Will Away.”

Thursday, November 8, 2018

Episode 130 ~Take My Will Away~

WARNING, 18+, READER DISCRETION ADVISED

Come In Dirty Diana,
How To Make One Million Dollars, and “when” I do remind me not to blow it all on escorts, sex toys, porno, and erotica literature; money is one of many things that I need to keep my pants, but of course I blew it yesterday. You will have to excuse me if I do not feel that sexy besides fucking up “No Nut November” my son is sick but in recovery mode and is there anything sexier than the angels in my stories and not coming after four paws of fury.

My novel wasn’t exactly blowing me away last night, to be honest, but what happens, happens and somehow or another I’m going to have to capture a second wind, get ready for round two and even now I’m still up in more ways than one. The good thing about not talking so much is the fact that I’m not wasting air, hell Dirty Diana, a dominant’s rule is supposed to be absolute, thus providing more atmosphere for his submissive to perform her tasks and of course scream. Here’s another idea, why is it that the most beautiful things are meant to take your breath away, to give life to them, a feeling of paradise, and let’s say love isn’t exactly known to make people smarter, gibberish writing am I right?

Somehow those people can locate some part of Heaven, something much more significant than themselves and again gives life to those that take their breath away for a moment in time. I already told you before, I’m not feeling sexy time, but I’m writing as always to provide a future, my son needs that, he took my breath away the day he came to be in my world. Has any woman done that lately, for a release here or there my breath has caught in my throat; my son loves life, and he was trying to find fresh air, scary.

I need to give breath to so many things, but it’s getting harder to catch at least one for myself, and maybe that’s because like in American Beauty, there’s so much beauty in the world or stupidity, thinking with the little head instead of the big one. The little one has been getting far too much these last two days, giving into such lusts when what I love is threatened; love Take My Will Away.

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 123 ~Will Does Dirty Deeds

Should I go to a strip club already, or maybe I should become a “hobbyists” only in America do you crack down on the women before the guns but I feel like I’m going to… well given the news so much for free speech. Will Does Dirty Deeds

Thursday, November 1, 2018

Episode 123 ~Will Does Dirty Deeds

WARNING, 18+, READER DISCRETION ADVISED

Come In Dirty Diana,
How To Make One Million Dollars, keep your money and your dick in your pants for starters and who pays for porn nowadays anyway, though I have before, some DVD’s here or there “Isaku” for example, Virgin Roster Shukketsubo, Casual Romance Club Houkago Ren’ai CLUB, PC games. I also own some sex toys, and for a while, I was working on a closet for a potential submissive, but of course, life has to do its thing, and you can’t make a deal with it, what did one of my motivations say “life does not accept payment plans” but do women… perhaps?

If it worked for Christian Grey, but I don’t have that type of scratch. Otherwise, I would be in Nevada this very moment and in cute little redhead Alice Little; maybe if NaNoWriMo works out and I get published and how has that gone today? Yeah, I’m way too busy thinking about that MILF again, I wonder did she take my advice as she’s now trying to be a model maybe… so much for anything, I could give her am I right? Hell, I have been down that road before with a pornstar, the legendary Mia Rose, but no girl is looking for a guy with nothing… okay so maybe that shows how much I know about women, just saying.

Maybe wishing, hoping, imagining what life would be like if this was Brazzers or Reality Kings but if it isn’t my exercising MILF I’m dreaming of it’s the one closer to “home” a Twelve-Hour deal, and no not The Purge though I do have a fantasy there. The way I see it she could come to the house and do her usual for two to three hours, but before she heads upstairs she would do a striptease and wear something I picked, and she wouldn’t leave me wanting in the oral department let’s say or a handjob. Week two, there’s a difference between making love and fucking; we would do the former and talk about week three.

Now that would be the best day, BDSM two and a half hours’ scene followed with aftercare and lunch, maybe a small nap or a shower, she would have her own, given this place, it does have benefits. Such deeds though require such digits, and quite the Devil, and am I him, at the moment all I can say is I’ve felt better, no energy boosts today, but I’m nowhere near where I need to be, all my worries, writing and two women how Will Does Dirty Deeds.

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 113 ~Always Write The Truest Sentence~

As the song goes, every day I write the book or NOT, I found out it’s too late to submit a short story for competition but still, it’s not only a goal to write, it’s my purpose if that is the truth. “Always Write The Truest Sentence.”

Monday, October 22, 2018

Episode 113 ~Always Write The Truest Sentence~

Fifty-Fifth Rule Madam Justice

How To Make One Million Dollars, is there a fairer sentence these days, the first words of a short story I still plan on writing, all those missed sentences I didn’t read at work as I signed my name, how about the death sentence I hope has known conclusion, somebody getting fired. The truth of the matter is that first sentence; if it doesn’t do what is needed then the last sentence doesn’t matter now does it, and when it comes to you and the others, the concept of making a million dollars is it.

It sounds a lot better than, I’m getting in her pants this way or that way; already I’m beginning to look like a hypocrite, but damn do you know everything that a million dollars could get done simply. When I was a child, it used to be what two-hundred dollars could do, and like my money my sentences have grown as well and again like my finances, this is not always a good thing. My money and my writing have to speak for me because more often than not when I talk out loud, it’s not the real me and you know I despise liars but take this as true; if anything I’m an artist.

“Artists use lies to tell the truth. Yes, I created a lie. But because you believed it, you found something true about yourself.” ― Alan Moore, V for Vendetta (Goodreads)

I can’t say I rightly know what people find out about themselves when they read my writing but for the majority, when I speak I find out they are shit human beings, of course, there are exceptions “Indiana Gone,” “Okay,” yeah I can’t even name a few I can be myself around. So am I Will, when I’m writing… now that would be terrifying, a guy that would rather be with machines than people, a sadistic photographer who does everything to his victims, a vengeful cult-leader? Who do I want to be tomorrow, hell who do I want to be from minute to minute, this is more a question for Lady Sophia, but I’m not going to get to my short story today am I.

Love The Way You Run, working title of course but now I’m stuck on writing the first sentence, but it’s more like the story I tell myself when I first leave work, what did the general manager say “read between the lines.” First there have to be lines, and then there are words and somewhere in all of that junk lies me and if only someone would care to look but the fact that I’m not writing means *sigh* I don’t want to be found; is that the truth or a lie dear Madam Justice, Always Write The Truest Sentence.

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 109 ~A Greed With Will~

Doing what you love isn’t working right; now I could tell you exactly what that is to me and most people would say that’s not the L Word, others would say it’s illegal unless you live in Nevada or Rhode Island. “A Greed With Will”

Thursday, October 18, 2018

Episode 109 ~A Greed With Will~

WARNING, 18+, READER DISCRETION ADVISED

Come In Dirty Diana,
How To Make One Million Dollars, did I mention I miss Hugh Hefner and now Dennis Hof, how about the man I want to be, the man I should be? Only Sloth trumps Greed in my book, which explains why I’m hopped up on 5-hour ENERGY. Will I ever stop singing praises to it, well people are continually going on and on about blessed coffee, football, or the “president,” but you know what revs me up, boobs, butts, and ahem beauty.

That’s how such great men made their living, and that’s what I want to do with my life, beauties in both book and brothels, but I’ve been thinking about a niche, well I mean other than everything. Most people I’ve talked to about this know that I’m into brunettes, I still haven’t figured out why considering I’ll go for blondes, redheads, multicolor hair, the list goes on; a man must have choices and I’m still a traditionalist when it comes to marriage. Not talking to that guy right now, no I’m staying a dreamer, and I should be a worker, yeah the guy that spent all of his pay and then some, if I could horde cash the way I do the ladies, and how I should my dark secrets.

I know this isn’t sounding sexy but besides being on hiatus from you know what, I’m thinking more business, not to mention I’m greedy with my time today, which is something I find more valuable than both ladies and money and if I chose between the two… Both are only a means to an end, POWER but nobody lives forever, and when I see everything that I’m missing out on; now I don’t want to be some old man with some eighteen-year-old out for my money. I want to be some old man taking other guys money and getting all my sex for free, and again I’m not getting into love today; love and sex can be entirely different entities.

At the end of each day though, we want it all but what are we willing to do to have that; sometimes I think I’m freaking insane; a friend asked me, what would be so bad about losing the day job I hate every day, to what, write a book about what I love? I choose the money because the idea of flesh, fulfilling a need, let’s agree maybe “fucking” looks worse than the love of money but I want more; A Greed With Will.

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 106 ~For My Opportunity Anything Goes~

Today was an opportunity for a decent day, every day is born with the same hope, but you must be willing to fight for it both metaphorically and literally as other people take their chances and make their choices. “For My Opportunity Anything Goes.”

Monday, October 15, 2018

Episode 106 ~For My Opportunity Anything Goes~

Fifty-Forth Rule Madam Justice

How To Make One Million Dollars, I heard somewhere that you don’t wait for the opportunity to knock, you drag it inside kicking and screaming… everything is violent. I’m still caught up in last week. You see when I fight it’s not to teach a lesson, it’s not only the need to defend myself but when I reach that level I’m not even thinking about winning, I have but one function for the victory… kill.

“Tell me why you kept on kicking him. You had already won.”

“Knocking him down won the first fight. I wanted to win all the next ones, too. So they’d leave me alone.” Ender’s Game

One of my favorite motivational speakers says there are only three words that you need; “WHATEVER IT TAKES” this is what makes a person unstoppable, limitless, you do this because there is no other way. I was speaking to Cherry, and she said, writing shouldn’t be a chore, and I won’t lie to you, it can be damn hard sometimes but so can breathing, sleeping, hell being me, Superman (It’s Not Easy), so compared to all that, writing is natural. Everyday something can come of this though I can’t say I’m thinking positively in that aspect, you do remember why I got back into blogging, keeping anything close to a journal, find a girl that pisses you off, or that you like a lot, both ended the same way, honestly.

I have a question though; if writing is my Plan A, why am I still working retail, I even told my coworkers today, if I’m still at it in fifteen years, go ahead and shoot me but to think at one point I did see that job as an opportunity… the pursuit of happiness it is not. There was an opportunity today for a more permanent position at work, but seriously I couldn’t run a crew of three black guys, I like being in charge, but a whip might send the wrong message, and I’ve said it before, if I were white, hand me a polo shirt, and a Tiki Torch. Money though opens up plenty of opportunities which is why I’m always so concerned about it nowadays because without it… so why is right here and now so important, every day I take this time to get it all out, regardless of what comes of it, such ill will.

In every moment lies opportunity and I learned a long time ago, you don’t have to play by everyone else’s rules, I’ve been thinking about this at work *ahem* I’m not here to be your fucking entertainment, I’m not here to be your damn friend, I won’t be taking your shit anymore. I am here to make money, this is my opportunity to do something so that I can have a better life far away from you assholes and if that means fighting for my right to exist, can you hear me now, if anything For My Opportunity Anything Goes.

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 095 ~Listen To This Will~

I don’t like fireworks, my dog barks for something which while better than most people can still get annoying and then let some pretty girl say something to me and I’m all ears but unoriginal. Listen To This Will; I’m good at that

Thursday, October 4, 2018

Episode 095 ~Listen To This Will~

WARNING, 18+, READER DISCRETION ADVISED

Come In Dirty Diana,
How to make One Million Dollars, what and not the rules of a threesome from “Lingerie” or “The Purge” believe me when I say that you can find inspiration almost anywhere and then there’s sex. I’ve heard that war never changes and then somebody else will say that war has changed but sex can be just as primal but that doesn’t mean one cannot be creative or at least I want to be, something to the tune of Didn’t I blow your mind this time, truthfully.

I can tell women a lot about the stuff I know; today I had quite the engaging discussion with a woman about books; I sort of lose that strong and silent type approach… okay like I’m ever considered buff, but that’s another story. Most of the time I want people to shut up but when it comes to a pretty girl well… let’s say I either like my women moaning and screaming, I still have that “Exploited College Girls” fantasy you know “say you’re my little whore,” and I can go dirtier. On the other side of the Oreo, tying a girl up with her bra and stuffing her panties in her mouth; I know you must be wondering what perverted things I must be watching and listening too right?

Speaking of fantasies and my “great” creativity, the latest ideas I’ve had is some bondage with winning medals, sort of Olympian, red, white, and blue, school colors and the like; I think I told you before that leather and normal rope, rarely do it for me. Another idea was yes inspired by The Purge the TV show; I even made a Pinterest board for that girl “Penelope Guerrero” played by Jessica Garza… the wicked, kinky, wanton things she and Melissa would have done to stay on that bus. Finally, I keep thinking about what I would have done if I could play that scenario with the mom in the parking lot all over again, what women do a for money, what men will do for women, hell I nearly spent so much money today because of a woman, no sex involved but gaming… Homer drool.

I was so angry at Leonard from The Big Bang Theory when he nearly sold all his things because of Penny but how weak we men must be, but do I truly desire The Sound of Silence? If somebody reads everything I’ve said here, the ticks of a clock within my head of me wasting time, the fantasies I turned off so I could finish this, and the worries I can’t drown out for anything so, Listen To This Will.

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 087 ~Will Buys Some L’s~

If only I stuck to brunettes and not hot redheads, or girls that want me to work certain days and a manager that doesn’t know I will not tolerate, Dumb, Dumber, and Dumbest but I’m still the loser here. Will Buys More L’s

Wednesday, September 26, 2018

Episode 087 ~Will Buys Some L’s~

Forgive Me Echo,
How to make One Million Dollars or not because let’s be honest, I’m lazy, late, and driven by lust on the best of days and of course, this isn’t one, and I can’t remember the last one, to be honest. I wasn’t lazy at the day job, no, only a loser and yes this is going to be one more depressing conversation, I have noticed my viewership going down which is saying a lot and I want to say I don’t pay people to like me ever…

So should I explain what happened yesterday when DUMB asked me for money, and I reached into my pocket, as luck would have it I didn’t have enough but what is it they say, it’s the thought that counts? I’m continually complaining about money nowadays, and both DUMB and DUMBER are costing me because I don’t know how to deal with those assholes other than to lay back and take it, fuck, and I know Inspector Echo, watch the language.

Love is a bad word or even like which explains why I was such a lame brain today on Messenger but what am I afraid of, other than someone putting a pretty girl in front of me and I get all stupid? Hell if I let nature happen and give up this whole NO FAP nonsense I would be quite lucid most of the day, and I wouldn’t have to sit here in fear of tomorrow, but at least I told one of the managers no about work because I can’t let the anxiety go Inspector Echo, you know that.

Which leads me to why we’re talking now instead of hours ago, and it’s not that I’m lethargic, again I am afraid and you know something, perhaps that’s the silver lining; while I’m nowhere near courageous, I’m alive, I’m moving, and the movie ain’t over yet. However, am I lying to myself thinking that I can change it, I “try” to get healthier and every day it seems I get sick, I say I’m going to work, and then I repeat later on. Every Morning, the alarm lambastes me, and instead of fighting to stay awake or do something productive or constructive, I do nothing; sometimes even worse I go back to sleep, my hypocrisy.

“Fear does something strange to people like Al. But not you. Fear doesn’t shut you down, it wakes you up.” Tobias Eaton A.K.A. Four (Divergent)

Can you forgive me Inspector Echo, for being as low as I’ve been for… hell who knows, and again it’s lying to say things might get better, how about forgiveness for losing “loot” from motivation to rap right, I’m sorry for being lame and of course Will Buys More L’s.

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 076 ~Will Etch In Stone~

A hot day today or is that me being sick, maybe my anger was burning my brain giving me fever dreams of making a lot of money, a million dollars to be exact and I’ll have a few days to think on that, give myself ideas. “Will Etch In Stone.”

Saturday, September 15, 2018

Episode 076 ~Will Etch In Stone~

Hey Lady Lu,
Give Me One Reason not to believe it other than the fact that Bruce Lee said “be like water” and that can break down a stone, and in one way I’m attempting to erase bad habits, at the same time, I want to mean what I say. So what is it that I mean to say, a part of me knows it’s a stupid thought with all my broken resolutions, the fact that I can’t ever seem to accomplish my six impossible things, I fell asleep sitting here but before I see “The Day” again, I’m going to make One Million Dollars.

Now I’m sure Lady Lu that by tomorrow I’ll probably have forgotten about this, but today at work it suddenly came to me, by next year I’ll be a millionaire, that’s it, no more, no less. When I was a child I thought, that all it would take is two hundred dollars and all my problems would be solved, well congrats, I’m sitting on a thousand dollars, all part of my Alamo Fund. Am I beginning to turn around perhaps, instead of planning how to die, planning how to live and not day by day but in the long run? Hell, I’m still attempting to get through this day’s sickness.

Considering I didn’t have to deal with Dumb, Dumber, Dumbest, and the general manager stayed out of my face for the most part, so It Was A Good Day minus being sick, again thinking long term. An attempt to be healthy and what did it get me; I can’t let that stop me though, and this was the first time I tried to set a real time limit, then again why am I writing so late? If it helps I finished reading one more novel, that’s something else to put in stone, I’m a lifetime reader, I always get sick before work but when I eat it’s worse, and I keep thinking I’m going to make that money in a year and I have no idea how dear Lady Luna.

You take the first step, and that should be tomorrow, but it’s already late and if I were to take a chance at dinner, who knows if I’m getting over this sickness and my son isn’t doing too well either. As I told “Indiana Gone” when it rains it pours, if only sweat was falling like tears or the bottles of Sprite I’ve been downing like water all day today but yes I am working towards One Million Dollars this time next year, I shouldn’t forget, Will Etch In Stone.

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 056 ~Will, Way, So Work~

To be honest, I need the work in all areas of my life, as I heard during my motivation kick, sleep is for those who are broke which explains so much these past few days. Will, Way, So Work, I have it all so won’t I?

Sunday, August 26, 2018

Episode 056 ~Will, Way, So Work~

To Will:
Give Me One Reason I wouldn’t make a good boss besides crippling social anxiety. Not expecting much of anything and more than a willingness to look at porn on top of everything else. No, I’m not going to beg you or even ask because when has that ever helped and especially with this week. You’re going to be unconscious. It’s going to be a hard one, yes harder than THAT; I’m afraid if that’s even possible my friend.

I would say I have no time for excuses, but I haven’t had time for anything else besides sleeping. When exactly is the energy boost from NO FAP supposed to kick in or maybe I haven’t been eating healthy again. It could be the pressure like I said, I figured this week was all settled, paying off the blog. And then the car trouble and having this thing about eating on the regular. It’s going to be close. Of course, sitting around waiting to fail is not right, and the thing is I don’t have to. A friend paid me some interest, and yet I’m sitting on the money. Yeah, one more thing to add to failing Six Impossible Things:

1. I Will Keep It In My Pants (Day 005 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
Completed (Day 012 No Fap)
2. I Will Be The “Father” My Dog Deserves
Failed
3. “I Will” Review “The Art Of Peace”
Failed
4. I Will Make It To The Library
Failed
5. I Will Read “Ven” by Ker Dukey
Failed
6. I Will Edit One Chapter A Day of “Apocalypse Rush” (Novel) 11 ― 17
Failed

Another 17.5 F, everything going into keeping my pants on. Now is the part of the story that you must admit you have a problem. And all your friends have an intervention to address the issue, lucky you don’t have any. Not entirely accurate, one left some time ago, another is Somebody’s Baby. Still another girl tries her best, and a fourth idolizes the “Lolita” motif, that word… dirty right? Speaking of dirty, your hands, you’ll be working most of this week but what about writing? Do you think God up and abandoned his universe? No wonder Alice found another one, but you can’ even attempt these Six Impossible Things:

1. I Will Keep It In My Pants (Day 012 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
2. I Will Be The “Father” My Dog Deserves
3. “I Will” Review “The Art Of Peace”
4. I Will Make It To The Library
5. I Will Finish “Ven” by Ker Dukey and K. Webster
6. I Will Edit At Least One Chapter of “Apocalypse Rush” (Novel)

Does it look like I’m going easy on you? There are factors to consider. Money, wearing out the tires with library trips when I saw hope and “potential.” How I hate that word because it means you should be doing more to make it disappear right? The man I hope you will be is starting to vanish, and you can’t let that happen, but I don’t know how to convince you. Hell Will I know you can wake up at the right time and there is so much I know.

Will you have to, you must, because it’s getting around that time, no, the time is always now, so what to do with the rest of the day? “Rule 158 I’m Will, There’s A Way” so Will, Way, So Work.

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 036 ~ Remember This Is Your Creation~

Can I do better, considering I have three different worlds to live with, my writing, dealing with people, and wanting a blessed life for my dog, I’m busy but what will I create today? Remember This Is Your Creation.

Monday, August 6, 2018

Episode 036 ~ Remember This Is Your Creation~

Forty-Fourth Rule Madam Justice

Give Me One Reason and shall introduce you to my insanity, all of my writing, the little dog sleeping on my leg, my life, I wish I knew when somebody gave me the pencil and said get to work. Oh yeah, when I was a little kid and still I can’t help feeling like a child because every single time I say something I’m wrong, I wonder what my son honestly thinks about me, how much do I own outright and if that ain’t the American way my Madam Justice?

I’ve said this before that I don’t like using the word home because this isn’t my place and again I’m supposed to be grown, and yes home is where yadda, yadda, yadda but then what about my novel? Yeah, my characters are from all walks of life including myself, I’m always attempting to create another version of myself, and I can’t say I’m the best guy but what Alexa Bliss, Angie Griffin, Amber Hahn, Detroit: Become Human, to name a few. The new world comes into being upon the ashes of the old one, either if I’m burning my eye sockets from the screen, the ever-present glow, or wrapped up nice and toasty warm in my bed someday I think.

Speaking of ashes what about the mess, that’s what I’m good at, and the house isn’t looking too well with my exhaustion, but that’s what happens when you begin attempting to build something great. What about the fact that I want more kids, right now it’s my little boy and me. Creating, though I love my dog like pancakes only what about my life, again with the motivation, wanting to eat healthier, get my mind clearer. Feel Like Makin’ Love but It Takes Two that Madam Justice is creation, even God gave Adam his Eve okay maybe not a good example but do you blame the hand or the tools and no we are not getting into a discussion about the broke NRA, good news.

Creation, Madam Justice is a holy mission thus power, and how you know I want power above everything else, okay maybe not sleep but the dreams I create, not today though, no I experienced a terrible nightmare, but I did figure out what to tell Dear Future Wife and Dirty Diana. That is if I can hold onto to the blog you know the day is coming and strangely enough, rather than get my PS4 I want to save it, my brain, my ideas, soul… Remember This Is Your Creation.

I Will Have No Fear