Tag: Silence

Lesson 233 ~What’s Worse Than Hate, Indifference~

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I’m a lot of things, to a few I am even a man if not The Man, and those few times I look in the mirror or how I feel, I know it. Only humans can be so annoying, we can be loved and hated but what’s worse hmm? What’s Worse Than Hate, Indifference

Monday, February 19, 2018

Lesson 233 ~What’s Worse Than Hate, Indifference~

Twentieth Rule Madam Justice,

I Am Not Afraid Anymore though time has passed since I was fear itself; when I was in school my slogan was, the best thing to have is love, if not then be liked, at least be respected, barring that be invisible, and if all else fails, be feared. Another day, another school shooting, well a few days ago so maybe I shouldn’t knock hate, at least hatred makes sense or insanity but to just not matter, to cease to be, that’s indifference, that’s Hell.

“You don’t think I’m ordinary?”

“You couldn’t be ordinary if you tried.”

“Thank you. I don’t think there’s anything worse than being ordinary.” American Beauty

Now how can anyone hate words, but “interesting” I find lazy but “whatever,” is the worst just edging out “just kidding” because whatever to me eliminates an idea? Yes I know I’m guilty of using all three but the last time I used all of the above I still talk to the person daily, like, love, and hate can be the most exhausting things ever. What about silence, at work my first amendment rights are being curtailed and telling people that you honestly don’t care, hell I don’t talk to my family and vice versa, but again I am exhausted.

Hating though is one thing, to hate means you once cared, even if it was a Luke Skywalker moment of wanting to kill Kylo Ren, but once there is nothing left to love, hate, or fear, you’re capable of doing the most monstrous of things. Better to feel too much than too little isn’t that what they say and that’s also the problem, people trying to tell each other how to feel. When you do that to someone they feel as though they’re not understood and when they aren’t being heard then what is the point of speaking at all?

Another reason I put such value in words, for someone that hates most people, thank goodness, I do see the importance of communication, as in my dog, but solitude is also a blessing. Hate can destroy but I think it’s the moment that we cease to care, a time when a person is seen not as a human being or less than what they are, and they know speaking, crying, screaming won’t help they are made indifferent and notably dangerous.

“Can’t even shout.
Can’t even cry.
The Gentlemen are coming by.
Looking in windows,
knocking on doors…
They need to take seven
and they might take yours…
Can’t call to mom.
Can’t say a word.
You’re gonna die screaming,
but you won’t be heard.” Hush

So love if you can, like, respect, and if somebody chooses to be invisible, take it as a blessing, because the moment everything is lost including hate, there is but indifference, and the return of fear and goodness knows I hate, lust, I feel shame. What’s Worse Than Hate, Indifference

“If you ever loved me, don’t rob me of my hate. It’s all I have.” The Count of Monte Cristo

I Will Have No Fear

Lesson 222 ~#MeToo, Me Three, Foreplay~

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Last week I was worried about Heaven hearing me when misunderstood by a man across the desk and a woman I wouldn’t have minded… shh, you can’t say such things or even the innocent pretty words, don’t even think them “#MeToo, Me Three, Foreplay.”

Thursday, February 8, 2018

Lesson 222 ~#MeToo, Me Three, Foreplay~

WARNING, 18+, READER DISCRETION ADVISED

Come In Dirty Diana,
I Am Not Afraid Anymore, but I should be, I think a lot of men are, and I know we have talked about my mouth on more than one occasion that when it comes to women… at this rate, I have nothing to worry about honestly. If anything I still remember the 5th Amendment, but lately, I have been holding onto the first one as tightly as a Republican with his gun after any recent shooting.

A man with a voice is a dangerous thing these days though it’s more about the physical aspect but it’s these words Dirty Diana, these damn words, and the words are now, the right to remain silent… those would be the Miranda rights? The right to free speech though, I’ve never whistled at some woman, never catcalled, never called some girl a dirty name outside the bedroom or should I just say sexual activity. Funny I thought something like this would scare me the most, well it has but what were the real consequences of any such thing other than looking like a pervert, a Harvey Weinstein or even worse.

You know what word nearly ended me; life, how about a job’s a job, another day, a sigh, a moan, a grunt, and I’m supposed to be worried about calling a woman a slut, a ho, how about whore or bitch? No Dirty Diana they are saying a backlash is coming, you know I can be nice, but a guy can be taken down by an accusation, an acknowledgment of beauty, a look, a movement, my god nothing is safe. Think The Screwfly Solution with the Daughters of Eve rather than the Sons of Adam. I know this isn’t sounding so sexy but these days, silence, isolation, talk about spreading your legs, what about opening your mind, or breaking your heart, hiding everything about ourselves because we’re afraid for men to be men and women to be women and everything.

I respect the #MeToo movement but where does it end, you wonder why I’m so scared to talk to women outside because I’m horrified to talk to anybody and damn my social anxiety, it’s against the law to be me, and I’m made to be something they see which is illegal. Every single word and you could be one of them, #MeToo, Me Three, Foreplay.

I Will Have No Fear

Lesson 209 ~For The Write Man~

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Words against words, why must we humans create wars with everything that we touch, if it weren’t for certain “aspects” I swear I could take a vow of silence like some monks because if you don’t have anything nice to say? “For The Write Man”

Friday, January 26, 2018

Lesson 209 ~For The Write Man~

Hey Lady Sophia
I Am Not Afraid Anymore, even when I know my name is on some form somewhere, or at least I hope it is; I’ve always thought my future will know fruition along a sentence or two, hopefully not a prison one. With everything, I have ever written, and with everything I have ever said, I still find myself striving to find the right ones, not that I have anything against lust or wrath, or what I would call “love” to be sure.

This week’s words haven’t been right at all and no I’m not talking about the general manager, those words were kick ass, I had a backbone. I suppose I’m trying to drown out the others, the police reports, work, the bitch and don’t worry I think I have spoken enough about how much my writing has cursed me in days long gone. All the same, people fear silence, and it’s enough to drive one insane; tell me a story, but it has to be the story I want to hear.

Part of the reason I’m a reviewer or I should be, I’ve been falling behind with that too, and it dawns on me that I’m not the right man for the job because I say what I usually think in the laziest way possible. Let’s not kid ourselves, Lady Sophia, none of us are right to judge that’s why we specialize in execution; I saw that Larry Nassar got sentenced, according to his story he did nothing wrong, to so many others of course he did, the people believe, hell I agree. My point is what story do we choose to hear, to concur with, the man wrote his own, wrong as it is and yet silence is unwanted honestly.

You have the right to remain silent, how I look at those words now, at my job I don’t but at the same time you don’t have the right, to speak the truth, so let me take a page from Ernest Hemingway. We’re not friends but enemies, I hate you, I despise you, I will never forgive you, and you are a waste of air for all of our humanity.

I won’t ever say those words to him Lady Sophia but that’s my story for him, my review, and I’m sure there are many of me, but he is the wrong man to say this to and as for me *sigh* For The Write Man.

I Will Have No Fear

Lesson 208 ~Ahead Of The Game~

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When everything you say is wrong all you have to do is find a girl for answers, although to be honest I’m not that coherent during, and if I am, then it’s time to find a new girl… no filter right? Ahead Of The Game.

Thursday, January 25, 2018

Lesson 208 ~Ahead Of The Game~

WARNING, 18+, READER DISCRETION ADVISED

Come In Dirty Diana,
I Am Not Afraid Anymore because some things render me speechless, e.g., blowjobs and even that I have an opinion about, yes I’m a hypocrite, this is true. First because last week I talked about getting loud, second the cock wants what it wants, and thirdly somebody put something in his mouth my zipper’s stuck, still thinking about that bastard from a few days ago; worried?

“Somebody put something in his mouth. My zipper’s stuck.” Martin Lawrence

Strange that I think about getting head when the last thing I want to do is reminisce, or in this case thinking with the little head instead of the big one… two birds one stone. What I mean is a release of one will lead to peace for the other, it’s hard to do anything in such a state, drive a car, hate your fellow man, or worry about anything at all. So while I’m trying not to indulge someone I despise, what about what I like in a girl, that would be a better use of my time right?

As the song goes, give me a head with hair, long beautiful hair, seriously I had a massive thing for Amandla Stenberg in “Everything, Everything” and then I saw her with a shaved head and dammit did that not negate everything else. Am I that shallow, I could be as bad as Ted Mosby that’s mad because a girl doesn’t pick up the check, or Blake who thinks he’s so disgusting that Erin can’t stand to look at him. Perhaps Catherine trying to imagine someone attractive in “Cruel Intentions 2”, that might have sucked. I’m not as depraved as to think about glory holes and paying for it… well, hopefully, I’m still gainfully employed now.

So where was I, long hair, I have a thing for brunettes, and a girl looking at me while she’s in the act, it honestly takes me to another place, the sound of silence or at least no words, more than words as another song goes. My favorite has to be that Katniss Everdeen braids style from The Hunger Games, ponytails, pigtails, but then we’re going into cosplay, and other fetishes and again my big head is much too dense, and my little head will be much too full dealing.

Is the lesson today that people should learn to shut their mouths in one way or another or that people naturally suck or are masters so Ahead Of The Game?

I Will Have No Fear

Lesson 087 ~Poor Pasts Poetry Protests~

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What do I am the NFL have in common… not a thing but many have chosen silence to make the loudest statement, almost illegal to be black or even an American you, know those not backing the KKK, the Nazis, or the Confederacy. Poor Pasts Poetry Protests

Tuesday, September 26, 2017

Lesson 087 ~Poor Pasts Poetry Protests~

Hey Lady Lu
No Fear but as you can see plenty to say though I don’t know how much I’ll get t, one day I’ll have all the time in the world but as I told “Indiana Gone” my future simply revolves around a lot of money. Am I that poor in everything else or that rich, the more things change the more they stay the same; I still think money will fix everything, more to the point power will.

Past and present Lady Lu, I was reminded of “The Harm of a Cookie” now was that free speech or me being a pervert, personally a little bit of both but what was the harm? Yeah I know I was being pretty bad back then but who have I ever harmed, well besides myself, we’ve had these conversations about freedom, art, rage, somewhere in our eighty-seven conversations together and what does it all mean? If I say I’m trying to find myself that just makes me sound a whole lot worse truth or not and maybe today I’m trying to find something to stand for or kneel as the case maybe nowadays, remind me to tune into “The Daily Show”.

Knights kneel and then rise, swearing to protect a better world and these days the world is crap so how can anyone be asked to rise and serve it, these protests *sigh* did soldiers die so that Trump can destroy all they have sacrificed for. Nazi flags displayed prominently, the Confederacy celebrated, the rich getting richer, the poor being villainized, and it is a song that gets everyone riled up and they don’t understand. I’m not politico mastermind Luna but my poetry was/is my protest against my own silence, some of it anyway and like everything about me, it just wasn’t right, and my point?

Yeah I probably should have thought more about that but in this country, it’s damn nearly illegal to be black and I’m more concerned that it is illegal to be me, what do I always say, impossible, immoral, illegal, and insane? Men rose and fell to defend freedom and now there are those who stand to deny it for some if not all, while others kneel in defiance of this country, perhaps world gone mad.

What have I learned today, other than I finally have a reason to respect the NFL, personally I’m still letting some words get to me and not speaking, thinking, feeling my Poor Pasts Poetry Protests?

Grin’s Fairytale

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I hate my smile and I could say it’s because I have bad teeth, fell on the stairs, hit with a baseball bat amongst other things but words can be just as damaging to be sure and my words well… Grin’s Fairytale, weren’t “Grimm’s Fairytales” horror

Because I can’t stand to “sup”
or suspend, the words blurry.
I can’t help but worry
as I latch on, again and again
to hmm, oh, I stand in awe
though there is no God

present, he need not hurry
as I have not grown up;
and since when has any man been enough?
“Oh, yes, there will be blood” Jigsaw
spilled his guts but oh when, oh when
will I say the right word to win?

It’s a setup,
when I thought she was a friend
but a stranger, and the skin
crawls, surely
I’m guilty; who am I to say Nah,
to cry, to scream, to laugh, ta-ta

Instead, I offer no sound, no fury
for judge, jury, executioner I draw
no excuses for my shame, as my jaw
knows I should shut the hell up
My every thought, word, and dream a sin
Swallow them, here’s my shit eating grin

Copyright © 2017, Will A. Bradford Jr. All rights reserved.

Grave Vocabulary

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Words hurt, words kill, on one hand, I’m not one for politics or religion, some words though do damage on a more personal level I suppose, sometimes I wish we were more like the people of Pontypool. Grave Vocabulary

And we all fall down

from the graduate to the class clown
What defines us, is the letters
which fair
no better when we put them together

to allow a king his crown
or any man to speak for God
Feel it coming in the air
tonight, every sin, how we are flawed

Not friend, not lover, or a victor, no noun
Enemy, fiancé, target, mutt
Neighbor. Hunter. Tribute. Ally, we’re all scared
But we shut up

when the new girl in town
wants us to believe
she’ll be the last beautiful girl, anywhere.
Please, please, please, it’s a disease

this vanity that somehow
people still ask why
hateful words are all we have to share
Do you think God is listening on high

until he can no longer grin and bear
because I’m already there

Copyright © 2017, Will A. Bradford Jr. All rights reserved

Lesson 042 ~Lost in The Translation~

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The English language is weird, maybe all language is in general and nobody hears the same thing at least when it truly matters to them. Lost in The Translation or I’d probably be in even more trouble than the usual.

Saturday, August 12, 2017

Lesson 042 ~Lost in The Translation~

Hey Lady Lu,
No Fear, and no genius either but sometimes I feel damn near erudite when it comes to what others talk about. That being said, I’m still the caveman, well the cave dweller since I haven’t been out for a while and I can’t say I miss the grunting, I rather enjoy the silence that can’t last forever.

One of the managers said I need to speak up more, to be more like them, okay maybe not that second part but that would just be me pretending again. I must never forget that while I am trying to speak more, I won’t let myself become one of those people who just utters a pile of gibberish just to make myself heard. As I’ve said before I may not know who I am, but I know what I don’t want to be, yeah I refuse to speak idiot or just plain loud like them.

Then again do I sound like an idiot to you… I know some people think as such but with every comment that I receive, it’s probably the lack of punctuation that bothers me the least. How about my atrocious hand writing, here I go again Luna putting words in their mouths, the last comment I got was small and why didn’t I just take it as small, it’s the translation. Today’s lesson, another manager told me that perception is reality and I hate that because what does that say about me on any given day.

I told you before that silence is my native tongue and to others that must make me shy, meek, nobody and when they learn… I suppose we all learn but it starts with what they say vs. what we hear, the language of us right?

“HE DIDN’T FALL? INCONCEIVABLE.

You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.” – The Princess Bride (1987)

This is how my day began, you see if you tell most girls that they were the first thing on your mind well… three examples, “Indiana Gone” would be thrilled, Luna you were second but you don’t care do you, and of course, you know who was first big surprise.

So I was thinking about stilts… hear me out Luna, I was thinking in terms of high heels but after a bit of research I found that stilts in my mind wouldn’t be the same as in everybody else’s. I think I ruined a pretty good poem today though I did it anyway, what was it I said, I enjoy the silence, how about that it doesn’t matter what anybody thinks of me. Yeah but Luna I can’t buy all my own books can I, it damn sure better matter what people think of me, maybe not understand but a suitable translation of my writing.

Speaking of translation may be PetSmart should work on that or I’m just an idiot thinking the left hand should know what the right hand is doing, seems stupid that Braxton goes to the doctor and will get groomed in the same place and it’s like apples and oranges. Maybe I’m right to be as nervous as I am, especially considering this will be the first time I leave him in someone’s hands who isn’t “family” then again my father…

How about my conversation with “M Anime” one I really need to write these nicknames down and two I doubt anyone but me is going to get that name at all. She can’t read me nowhere near as well as Indiana Gone, and “Gospel Girl” still thinks I’m a good person and haven’t heard from “Okay” in a day or so. “Ms. Seasons” understood in a way and even if I wanted to say that I was taken out of context, I’m not President Trump.

I don’t speak idiot, I speak movies and music, sexual innuendos, BDSM, a web of obscenity and my mom never told me this but if you can’t say anything nice…

“How many languages do you speak?

Five, actually.

Well, I speak one… One Zero One Zero Zero. With that, I could steal your money, your secrets, your sexual fantasies, your whole life. Any country, any place, any time I want. We multitask like you breathe. I couldn’t think as slow as you if I tried.” – from The Core (2003)

Say what you mean and mean what you say but that’s all relative isn’t it and it gets worse when you can’t understand at all, sometimes Braxton looks at me, he has food, water, been outside, doesn’t appear to be in pain and he cries and I just tell him “no”. We don’t want to understand more to the point we want to hear what we think we already know and some language is universal.

“I don’t want people dead, Agent Valentine. I don’t put a gun to anybody’s head and make them shoot. But shooting is better for business. But, I prefer people to fire my guns and miss. Just as long as they are firing. Can I go now?” Lord of War (2005)

Violence by far is the easiest, okay Luna I know you didn’t sign up for philosophy 101 *snickers* but it tells the speaker one thing, the listener another, the bystanders, and it is all lost in the roar. Pain and horror, there is not one word that can make it better, not without action, even understanding is lost to the moment. How about a kiss, all the words in the world but sex, a kiss, a hug, holding hands, that silence before and after, intimacy?

“Don’t speak
I know just what you’re saying
So please stop explaining
Don’t tell me cause it hurts
Don’t speak
I know what you’re thinking
I don’t need your reasons
Don’t tell me cause it hurts” – Don’t Speak, No Doubt

Even telling Braxton no, a lot I think I speak Braxton quite fluently but I have yet to meet the one person that can speak my language, I may think so and then they start talking but a few do try. How about speaking a woman’s language, why not try speaking French again, I sort of failed at both; I do not miss high school at all. Anyway didn’t we go over all of this before, with Gospel Girl I’ve been a gentlemen and even Indiana Gone likes me to be sweet sometimes but being honest, the truth hurts.

I’ve already admitted that silence scares me too sometimes, echoes in the past that warn me of my future, but anyway what have I learned today? Always look up words, another reason I don’t speak often, Wilt ‘The Stilt’ Chamberlain didn’t come to mind when I was writing and I’m lucky most of the things are Lost in The Translation.

Lesson 031 ~30 Days Without Incident~

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One month and really what has changed, hell this is a month I never expected to see and that started so many years ago and yet somehow I have survived and you have been here for the ride. “30 Days Without Incident” …

Tuesday, August 1, 2017

Lesson 031 ~30 Days Without Incident~

Hey Lady Lu,
Thirty-one days but the last three nights have been, exhausting, to say the least, and to say the most would be endless screaming but I try to be more articulate than that. Okay, at least to you because I’m still working on the people thing, more to the point I’m still working on that myself thing but really what has this month been like, you don’t want to know but we’re here…

If we start with “the incident” that sent me running back to you, I haven’t heard a thing from “Ms. Seasons” but I’m keeping my ear to the ground, along with my eyes but we’ll get to that. I wish I could figure out am I ignoring her out of disgust, anger, or indifference, the fact that I’m keeping up with her you would think speaks volumes but bless the sound of silence. My resolve seems to be as strong as ever though, but I’m getting to that, I guess it means something too that I don’t have more to say about her at all.

As long as we’re going through a list of the people I’m not speaking with, how about everyone at work, I still hold faith in my conspiracy theory but if anything the typical overnights. Yesterday and today were probably the best I felt minus the exhaustion, hasn’t everyone wondered at some point what it would be like to be all alone in a store? The only thing that would have been better is if my stupid iPhone was acting right but several ideas for playlists if I buckle down honestly.

How is it when you don’t have something you want it, even more, only human right but suddenly I was in the mood to listen to my Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2 playlist and Kenny Rogers meets Wyclef. Trust me you don’t want to be left alone with the thoughts in your own head, especially if you’re me right?

I’ve still been avoiding my neighbor when it comes to their dog; I’m not a Flash type of superhero, and while I talk about writings, wit, and wisdom, I’d rather just punch someone in the face. Makes me sound abusive especially when it comes to Braxton, but, A/C, a full food and water bowl, and plenty of comfy spots seems better than a bed of rocks and outside for hours.

Lady Lu I really do want to be the hero in this situation but I have been going back and forth on being the neighbor that wants to help and the neighbor who adopts. Maybe you can blame Braxton for that but if you think I have trouble talking to people… other than Braxton it seems my anxiety transcends species. If anything it points out how much I love animals because I wouldn’t know what to do with a baby either, I don’t even know my nephew, there’s no rush.

Braxton and I *sigh*, a part of me wants to say the circle of life is complete, I hate my father and now Braxton hates me, I wonder if my father is as clueless as I am as to why the anger and animosity between us always. Really Luna the only words that have left my mouth besides “I love you” which I always have and always will have been “No”, “Shut Up” and “that’s why you’re in trouble”, it’s been so many days already. This doesn’t count as an incident but more as a new development and if anything, I’m more concerned with the people I’ll have to talk to, just to know why.

Procrastination, fear, anxiety, pick a word, any word and I’ll just roll with it, that was my first idea to chat about today, the way people are always putting words in my mouth. Now here we are and I just wish I had some idea as to what to say or do; isn’t it strange from the moment you learn to talk you’re taught to shut up and listen only.

One day soon I’m going to have to remember all the reasons that I want to be a writer, just put them all down as a lesson. That’s another thing I was doing at work, thinking of ways to expand, I’m always expanding my reach but Moses was a king of the desert too, I mean post Egypt of course.

“What is an ocean but a multitude of drops?” – Adam Ewing, Cloud Atlas (2012)

There are too many prophets here Luna, as the song goes but each drop is unique, each serves a purpose or maybe that’s my OCD talking and personally, I don’t want to know my place or stay in it. Just informing you of upcoming, incidents, accidents, and mistakes, but for right now, other than being really late with this, I’m actually in a somewhat decent place. Nobody wants to hear that though except for maybe “Indiana Gone” if anything I’ll worry about what I’ll say tomorrow, I’ll be sad tomorrow.

Just because I’ve survived this month doesn’t mean I enjoyed it and isn’t that yet another problem with life, that it’s all some big accident; makes me think about holy folks, you know. To go with another song, every day is exactly the same and if anything, that means I will survive, okay damn my iPhone and the always running playlist within my mind. Maybe you’re hoping that I will see a miracle instead of the other shoe dropping. Only that’s truth, the other shoe has to drop, whether you’re lying on your back, taking the next step, or learning.

“There’s a saying – the pessimist looks down and hits his head. The optimist looks up and loses his footing. The realist looks forward and adjusts his path accordingly.” – King Ezekiel, The Walking Dead 7×02

When it doesn’t that’s an incident, an accident, tripping, you fall and since I don’t think I’ll be flying anytime soon… the thing is I haven’t tripped or fallen, since landing flat on my face with Ms. Seasons. What I have learned today is that I want to adjust my path, which means taking my eyes off the ground, here’s to us Lady Lu and to 30 Days Without Incident.

Lesson 013 ~That’s What She Said~

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That’s what she said, no that’s what I said, and truth be told it hasn’t been doing anyone any favors, did I learn nothing from the sound of silence. That’s What She Said or not because I’m too much of a wuss to get her side.

Friday, July 14, 2017

Lesson 013 ~That’s What She Said~

Hey Lu,
I think this is part of the reason we get along so well because you don’t say anything and I know that sounds really bad but in my own personal experience, women talking to me *sigh*. For the record, though I find the joke “that’s what she said” to be pretty damn off putting, one of the reasons I hate going to work.

In “Living Single” Max told Kyle that he didn’t want a girlfriend but a therapist that’s good in bed, I think the whole concept of “GFE” cancels that out but really what do men want when talking to women. I got a friend and half the time we just mirror things back to one another you know how they say “great minds think alike” so you know back in my Saturday morning cartoons they would say “great minds think for themselves” but that is another story. I talk to you and don’t have to worry about you giving me bad advice, chances are I wouldn’t take it anyway, the things that none of us wants to hear am I right.

Which brings me back to work, they treat that joke “that’s what she said” as the end all be all joke, I swear I just want to go all Wesley from Wanted and don’t get me wrong, men can be just as stupid seeing as how it’s a male coworker that always says this. You know I think often about having the answers to life’s questions, but praise the sounds of silence you know. Maybe that’s why the kiss was invented some women and men have some semblance of a chance at keeping the human race going, without screwing up.

“if she’s in the mood to f**k you, shut up and let it happen.” – Chris Rock, Bigger & Blacker

Sometimes I talk too much and I definitely type too much nowadays which is why I got into trouble in the first place… On the other side of the line, women are always talking about being so clear and at the same time men are expected to read between the lines, how do we survive?

Correct me if I’m wrong Lady Lu but I think yesterday was the first talk we had where I didn’t mention “the incident” to be fair I haven’t even gone back to reread what she said again. Now I want to scream that’s a problem but that it’s also the solution but how did they do it back in the old days, you know when not a word need be spoken?

I often talk about having an ulterior motive and then she was so clear but what if I had been someone else, anyone else, would the words have really mattered? Isn’t that just it, when I gave the flowery words to guys for their women, they couldn’t get enough but then I could never do that for myself could I. Skeevy words and yet people will drink, do drugs, and the like and lie to themselves about what makes them do the things they do and sadly I’m no better, a liar, I’m telling you that’s what she said.

Some other girl probably and even today, some women I just ignore, some words are filler and why do I want to hide from the truth but like “The X-Files” the truth is out there. I use to say I don’t want to be a liar, but society deems that we all must, this is the world we live in and eventually, we might evolve past this but I have never gotten that far. In all the erotica I have ever read, the relationships are built on lies and even in the fairy tales that end with happily ever after or in erotica’s case either in bed or with the end of The Graduate, that what did we do look.

I was a nice guy when I never talked to her but the moment she becomes let’s say unrepressed and I say what I said, suddenly I’m skeevy. The moment I saw her as a woman and not just someone, Luna I ask you why does any man want a woman and yes I know this already sounds bad but let’s go with our biology.

“I have four words for you: Listen to the Woman.” White Men Can’t Jump (1992)

Like you Luna, considering you are a figment of my imagination and personally I rather sleep but the reason that you’re here is that while I can’t hear you, I know you want to be here. It’s primal nature and I’m afraid I spoiled some of that today but listening to women and really hearing them is two different things.

I’m not trying to psychoanalyze anyone but it really says something about a woman who is suddenly uncommitted and gets tattoos, her nipples pierced, goes to nude beaches, and everything else, this being the thirteenth lesson, I’m not scared of feminist finding me. What about a woman who asks your opinions on clothes, wear’s stuff that you like, takes up your fandoms and buys you props for them? How about another woman who starts out on your couch, activity flirts with you about a certain lifestyle, and ends up in your bed but stops you right at the cusp hmm?

Even Disney Lu, remember Ariel who gave up her voice for legs, a woman that gives up talking for something physical and then a man that talks too much. How about Merida from Brave when she saw the last man who she thought was a suitor, she responded not as some independent princess but like any other woman. In the end, it doesn’t come down to he said she said, but simply the physical though some men are more equal than others and some women while condemning men in every shape and form only condemn our species, why do you think “Realdoll” even exist today.
“We married wonder women. Supergirls. Amazon queens. Well, you know what that makes us?

Smart, worthy, lucky.

We’re the wuss. The wind beneath your wings. Your support system. We’re the girl. And we don’t like it.” The Stepford Wives (2004)

So I ask what did she say and what did I say and in the end does it really matter, what matters is somebody you can enjoy the silence with, somebody that you don’t need the words with and if you choose to have them let them be true or at least better, what about somebody that doesn’t kill you in your sleep. If anything I just want “I love you” not to be a joke no I want to look at the world and say That’s What She Said.