Log 167 ~The Will To Urge~

WillLeave a comment

Well, I have no urge to celebrate Christmas as of yet and if anything, the call of sleep continues and nothing is stopping me but me and a bottle of water, a can of pink lemonade, a bunch of chips etc. “The Will To Urge”

Sunday, December 15, 2019

Log 167 ~The Will To Urge~

To Will:
I AM a Billionaire right now, and you have an urge to be so. The want, the wish, indeed man the will. Why else would you be up at this moment? You have every reason to stay in bed, the right, hell you rage. How does the poem go, rage, rage at the dying light, well more like the coming? Don’t start with the sexual innuendos, one more battle you lost this week. Okay, so we’ll get to that, but first, I want to talk about urges. Should we call it more, an addiction to the acceptance of an average life, ahh motivation?

Almost there you urge, like last night playing Far Cry 5. You almost made it to that bridge, or to that ranch. You nearly bought your mom a present or purchased the right NaNoWriMo T-shirt. How close were you to finishing “Accidental Santa” but decided to play on your phone? In your life, FEAR is the second most urgent thing. We go again with Far Cry 5. Fearing to lose, so what happens? You make yourself sick with it every day. Hell, if fear wasn’t there, I don’t think you would know what to do with yourself ever. If you want to know your number one urge, though, you need only look to the Marquis de Sade. Now that’s a name you haven’t thought about in a while though you took his title. How dare you compare your horniness to such genius as it keeps you from Six Impossible Things:

  1. I AM Keeping It In My Pants (Day 005 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 003 No Fap)
  2. I AM Always The “Father” My Dæmon Deserves
    Failed
  3. I AM Publishing My Poetry “GULP”
    Failed
  4. I AM Reviewing Raphael By Tillie Cole
    Failed
  5. I AM Reducing My Inbox To Zero
    Completed
  6. I AM Finishing “How to Stop Worrying and Start Living”
    Completed

Perhaps I stand corrected, but a 34 is still an F, the last I knew.

Still, it beats a flat out zero, and I could have finished #4 if it wasn’t for the urge to sleep SIGH yesterday afternoon away. If I got more of it, though, #1 would not have been a problem. Honestly, I screwed you over with #1 last night checking out you know who rather than resting. These numbers are getting confusing, especially at this hour. Horny is one, Fear is two, but the urge to be STUPID. It’s always such an ugly word, but there it is, as “Weird Al” Yankovic sang, Dare to Be Stupid. Only I want you to tell me. Will do you have the urge to be wise? Not to be your life coach, but where’s the urge to win, conquer this week’s Six Impossible Things:

  1. I AM Keeping It In My Pants (Day 003 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
  2. I AM Always The “Father” My Dæmon Deserves
  3. I AM Publishing My Poetry “GULP”
  4. I AM Reviewing Raphael By Tillie Cole
  5. I AM Getting My Second Car Fixed
  6. I AM Finishing The Book “Accidental Santa” By Celia Aaron

You’re better I know it, feel The Will To Urge.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 166 ~A Peace Of Will~

WillLeave a comment

Peace is not in my possessions, pants, or any person I‘m thinking about in any particular way and of course, my gaming habit is all about warfare and pushing a lot of buttons but pieces of life? A Peace Of Will

Saturday, December 14, 2019

Log 166 ~A Peace Of Will~

Hey Lady Lu,
I am a billionaire right now, or why don’t you tell me when? It’s that time of the season or getting pretty close, you know Joy, Hope, Peace, maybe Live, Laugh, Love? Of course, I have a rule, # 13 Power Is All That Matters. I still stand behind it, Lady Lu. My favorite word must be SLEEP, and this morning, it was touch and go. The fight continues, and that’s the point today; it goes on and on. Yes, I’m trying to form a new habit, but I wish for Peace.

Far Cry 5 is the perfect example. What was it, only the year before I was all Detroit: Become Human and now my latest game. Anyway, I continue to advance, but here’s the thing, I don’t know-how, wow. I was playing last night fighting to take back Nick Rye’s plane, and all of a sudden, I’ve seized John Seed’s Ranch. When I went to liberate Fall’s End, the battle was over before I knew it, quickly enough. I was finding peace without even trying, now what about my life? Not even in my bed anymore. My pillow has become the enemy because there is too much work to be done. Now I go into the Day Job; that is no place for peace. Every day is not like a holiday, but more “You’ve Been Marked.” It’s the warning John gave.

Now, of course, I am reminded of Eric Thomas saying, “Sleep is for those people who are broke.” What time is it; he goes on to say, “you’re in a financial transition.” Well, I even saved money the other day though not by choice. R.I.P Red Lantern, why must all the places I like to eat, go out of business? Couldn’t I say the same thing about my budding writing career? What about my “modeling” hires or my search for a new maid. Those aren’t the reasons I’m losing sleep. Nope, I’m losing sleep because I want to live the dream of being a writer before going on to live a nightmare. Well, My Lady as I complain about sitting here fending off exhaustion while My Dæmon slumbers. The war, which is life, seems far.

Is this what they call Peace of Mind? Now that is what I’m seeking, and I believe all the money in the world would bring? Priorities A Peace Of Will

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5hlxlX0_fTE

I Will Have No Fear

Log 165 ~Someday Will Reviews Sunday~

WillLeave a comment

I could be working on a Character Bio, how about reviewing Raphael, or talking about the book I’m currently reading, Accidental Santa, see I can get into the Christmas spirit when I’m not complaining, oh no. Someday Will Reviews Sunday

Friday, December 13, 2019

Log 165 ~Someday Will Reviews Sunday~

Hey Lady Sophia,
I AM a Billionaire right now, and the reviews are in, wealth makes you a decent person. In America, money makes you the best type of person. One more reason I want it all, and that makes me sound like an average Republican, I know. The problem is, in looking for that voice, I only have my own. For this week, indeed, my life, that hasn’t been enough, if I even use it at all. Again, I should be working on one of my characters, but instead, should I review myself at all?

Now that’s what my dream could mean. Do you remember the show, Rocko’s Modern Life? There was this episode “Skid Marks,” where everybody says, “Don’t Get The Fat Guy.” Anyway, I keep hearing, yeah, my stupid ear, but there’s an echo singing out “the little naked man.” I hope I can still post this, but I think it’s talking about myself. Let’s say after yesterday, if I dig in, I can get 50% of Six Impossible Things. I swore yesterday I was thinking about what it would take to be a good father, a son to be proud of, and a great man. Instead, I wrote excuses why My Dæmon doesn’t need this or that; didn’t I screw up this week. I’m only now remembering I need to buy my mother a birthday present. Yesterday I made a list of stuff “I” wanted but with a little help from FTWD? Well, that’s the reason I’m looking at half of my Six Impossible Things, instead of four. Maybe next week?

So good things about the man I am this week, minus the other physical ailments? My motion sickness is getting better. Look at me, Lady Sophia, is this my usual waking hour from now on? When I become a success, I can worry about waking up at a decent hour, 4:00 AM, for example. I kept my mouth zipped when it came to Cherry. How good a friend was I besides something else? While I’m still attempting to hire people, I didn’t jump at the first opportunity. Oh, more on my motion sickness, I’m learning more and more about Far Cry 5 daily. Anything I get into I study, I gain the facts, what works, what doesn’t. The thing is I write myself off as a failure but haven’t tried myself.

120%, Someday Will Reviews Sunday

I Will Have No Fear

Log 164 ~She’s “Maid” For Will~

WillLeave a comment

Well, this took me longer than my previous post, but when you do what you love or rather who and did I say love? Isn’t today supposed to be all about lust and of course, not making a mess? She’s “Maid” For Will

Thursday, December 12, 2019

Log 164 ~She’s “Maid” For Will~

WARNING, 18+, READER DISCRETION ADVISED

Come In Dirty Diana,
I AM a Billionaire right now, and it’s all because I cleaned up my act. For the record, it’s been a hard week. Yes, everything is going to sound sexual today. On the bright side, my ear is beginning to feel a bit better. It’s incredible what the human body accomplishes with the mere prospect of sex. One more reason I want everything I conjure up. I’m alive Dirty Diana; my desires, like writing, it’s breathing for the soul. Sex nourishes the body, though people think I talk too much shit.

Now I’m not one of “those” types, but I am learning to appreciate ass all the more. If a girl is walking away, she’s not teasing me these days. Dirty Diana, I respect women, you know the things I have done when it comes to the fairer sex. Hell, I had a maid, and I would clean the house before she would ever step foot inside. I have studied a woman more than I ever have for any test I have taken in my entire life. Let’s not forget all the ladies that have cleaned out my wallet over the years. Some days I’m even tempted to give much more. I’m not a made man, but being a writer, I have created women well more like personalities of them. It makes me think of all the erotica writers I know, but that’s more Lady Sophia’s problem. So what’s yours? Other than stopping me from watching “Adult Supervision Required,” Brooke Logan.

Honestly, I like her scene in that more than when she fucked Ron Jeremy. Didn’t I say I study women? Six Impossible Things or Six Degrees of Separation. Looking up Brooke Logan, her “maid” uniform a match for MILF Dos. She’s hurting, I can’t ask her to model, but I know a pornstar that looks like her. That adult entertainer gets me to watch, The Innocence Of Youth DVD. Those outfits make me think of Alice Little and Anna Vlasova, ahh alliteration. The wonders of Alice as in wonderland and I go tumbling down the rabbit hole. It gets dirty, and so I think of cleaning up but then again.

Six Degrees

  1. Brooke Logan
  2. MILF Dos
  3. Porn Star
  4. The Innocence Of Youth
  5. Alice Little, Anna Vlasova/Alissa
  6. Alice In Wonderland

Now to shower thinking someone somewhere, She’s “Maid” For Will.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 163 ~You Don’t Willie Know~

WillLeave a comment

One more early morning and I don’t know what the day holds, however yesterday I would have chosen to skip a two-minute conversation or better other two words instead of feeling like I’m STUPID. You Don’t Willie Know

Wednesday, December 11, 2019

Log 163 ~You Don’t Willie Know~

Forgive Me Echo,
I AM a Billionaire right now; I sound so sure of that, don’t I? If anything, I was feeling glad yesterday. Well, all it took was one woman to snatch it away. I’ve said it before, and I’ll repeat it here, DON’T MAKE ME FEEL STUPID! Inspector Echo I apologize for getting loud, especially at this early hour. THEY admit it takes 21 days to make something into a habit, right. For the record, it’s day three, and it was easier waking today, especially with an extra hour thirty. I’m still waiting for that Ben Franklin truth.

Now that is my point; why do you think I am continually seeking out knowledge? Is it wrong to be ambitious, to want to better my lot in life? I’ve finished two books this week, one by Dale Carnegie another from Natasha Bender. In the spirit of family-friendliness, I’d advise you don’t look up one of those names. Anyway, I know so much; that’s right; I said it Inspector Echo. As one of my motivations says, I am wise. I will rise, I need no guise. So I will not disguise the fact that yesterday, some black lady hurt my feelings. Am I playing the race card; yesterday the president is looking at impeachment. Look, I understand that hate is colorblind, but it’s always people that look like me SIGH. “My people” who bring me down the most as always.

What is this all about, “diabetic socks for men.” Am I not making sense? So this lady comes into the Day Job and asks, do we sell those types of socks? I’ve never seen them, so I say no. She says, “compression,” so I mull the term over, and she says, “you don’t know,” and she walks off in a huff. Talk about wearing my heart on my sleeve always. That’s one more reason I’m still running, and I’m a stickler for time. A moment to think, and I end up feeling like a moron. It doesn’t help that I’ve been physically running away these days. I’m waking up super early as Eric Thomas suggests so I can get somewhere, but it’s not to the fight. The faster I move, the quicker the day ends. I’m sorry I don’t take the time to see the man in the mirror Inspector.

I say it’s all FEAR, but You Don’t Willie Know.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 162 ~A “Will” Good Morning~

WillLeave a comment

Well I did it again, maybe not, 15 minutes later but come on I need at least three hours of sleep, still, I consider it a win and with the holidays coming up I’ll need all the energy I can get for the “family.” A “Will” Good Morning, I hope

Tuesday, December 10, 2019

Log 162 ~A “Will” Good Morning~

Dear Future Wife,
I AM a Billionaire right now, so why not stay in bed with you? Right now, it’s way too early, even for tradition. I read somewhere that boys marry girls that are like their mothers. Again, look at the time, I have dreams to chase, a Dæmon to look after, and demands to make. Better than demands to take like at the old job. Still, even with what I’ve made my life’s work, I don’t see any reason to rise at this hour. Nothing good ever happens after 2 a.m. only now?

It’s the most wonderful time of the year, THEY say. I still have mixed feelings about the holiday season. Once again, I’m a traditionalist, so playing Santa for our children? I want to see happy faces under the tree. If I want that, then it means working hard right now or maybe not, my love. When you do what you love and all that, but I can still be tired, right? I don’t think I even got three hours of sleep, but then I looked at you, baby doll. Yes, I am one of those types that will say you’re beautiful no matter what. Some devote their lives to studying the stars in the sky. Others have faith in angels. I have you beside me, and I don’t mean to get all sappy. Well, I don’t drink coffee, and I lost my morning cappuccino, wanting to get to work quickly.

“It doesn’t take a whole day to recognize sunshine.” FTWD

I don’t know how my mother did it all during the holidays. She would spend hours cooking up this brunch of all the classics, pancakes, bacon, sausage on one side. Then she would have all this fried chicken. Now I have been a Southern boy since I turned six to be fair. Do I expect us to one day to brave the crowds on Black Friday? I mentioned Jada Cato from It’s A Southern Thing yesterday. Why do think I work in my industry, or wake up at 2 AM? Okay, despite my worries. That is why I did go and fetch that cappuccino and returned to lay by your side. The world is full of would-be Santas. Anyway, I can think of worse ways to wake up. As long as we’re together warm, I suppose I want our kids to see a White Christmas.

Yeah, I’m not driving, ha that’s A “Will” Good Morning.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 161 ~Be A Man Of Action~

WillLeave a comment

Something that both heroes and villains have in common; they both take action, and while I want to say I’m 49% to 51% if anything as the song goes, I’m only a man a good one, a bad one, maybe alright but lights, camera. Be A Man Of Action, Will.

Monday, December 9, 2019

Log 161 ~Be A Man Of Action~

Hundred And Fourteenth Rule

Madam Justice,
I AM a Billionaire right now, and if this morning is any sign, a man of action. Let’s start with the Six Impossible Things. Sad to say, I’ve already failed at #2. I AM Always The “Father” My Dæmon Deserves. Numbers 1, 5, and 6 I’m handling. #4 is doable, and #3 well, there is a reason I use the word Impossible. Look at the time though, think of the day that lies before me, the choice I made only moments before. Begin each day with gratitude, isn’t that right? I’m grateful I woke up, for my weird dreams, and Far Cry 5.

Yeah, if there is any action I take on the regular, it’s complaining. I’m on the Easy setting and still, almost got killed. How much time did I spend learning the controls? My Motion Sickness was a smidge better. Now, didn’t I say something about weird dreams? I don’t want to sound like the President or offend any veterans. Last night/this morning, I was dreaming about Vietnam? Here’s the offensive part, that’s how I view my life. For right now at least I’ve volunteered, I don’t know whether it’s right or wrong. If anything, I only “want” to serve. By the end of the day, without a doubt, I’m going to be in some “less optimal” state. I won’t be the same man that’s talking to you right now, Madam Justice, that’s for sure. How did Jada Cato put it? “It all went downhill after I put my pants on.”

Again gratitude, here and now I’m doing something I enjoy even if I’m tired. At this rate, I could knock out two of my Six Impossible Things before the day is over. I’ll continue working hard for my son, and I’ll get some more tips to play the game tonight. These all need to become habits instead of falling for whatever joke the pillow wants to tell. If I stay busy, I don’t have time to worry, or that’s something I learned from Dale Carnegie. Get busy living and all the rest from The Shawshank Redemption. Didn’t the movie “Young Einstein” talk about being a man of action? Of course, I can’t forget King Ezekiel from TWD. There might be something to my love of movies and the zombie genre.

Media, swimming, run boy run, Be A Man Of Action.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 160 ~A Will In Motion~

WillLeave a comment

One more considerable night of sleep, eight hours when I wanted to choose six but falling back to sleep, well that got me nowhere; still I was on time today to write about well, my spinning mind. A Will In Motion

Sunday, December 8, 2019

Log 160 ~A Will In Motion~

To Will:
I AM a Billionaire right now, and when you Find Me, bring something for the Motion Sickness. That is a step in a forward direction. I remember playing Super Mario 64 and getting so sick that night I asked my “father” to take it back to the rental place. Next thing you know, I’m shooting cultists in Far Cry 5 and eating a turkey dinner afterward. Speaking of the Old Man, have you thought any more about talking to him about the car? How’s your ear considering you’re on time for our conversation, so you skipped the shower?

Well, between Cerberus, Medusa, Maenads, and Dutch’s Island not much? Now isn’t this the problem right here? You have a 50,000-word story in front of you. So you move on to the next one without a look in the rearview. When moving forward, where are you going, I ask? You hate looking back at your past work, I know. Nearly all of your motivations talk about having to forget about your past. You know what they mean, of course, because your novels are your future. I applaud you Will for being on time today. There’s always a, but in there, I know. But you were up at 4:00 AM, that was on time, and you had the presence to drink a root beer and down some gummies. Next thing you know, you’re back in bed until 6:30 when you decided to play TWD. What about, well your Six Impossible Things:

  1. I AM Keeping It In My Pants (Day 001 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 005 No Fap)
  2. I AM Always The “Father” My Dæmon Deserves
    Failed
  3. I AM Publishing My Poetry “GULP”
    Failed
  4. I AM Reviewing Raphael By Tillie Cole
    Failed
  5. I AM Reducing My Inbox To Zero
    Failed
  6. I AM Finishing “How to Stop Worrying and Start Living”
    Failed

Last week I mentioned excuses, you didn’t check the car because there was McDonald’s. You’ll leave it alone this week until you knock something off this list. Oh, and don’t forget to check that you’re still with a “specific” reading group. No need to sugarcoat this considering the list, as this isn’t in the “Family-Friendly” category. For example, “Rule 34,” I met that woman in Walmart, and it was like something out of SIGH “Adult-Entertainment?” I’ll need to get the car towed perhaps, and there are videos for that too; how hopeless are you, Will? I do mean in your viewing habits. You’re not going back to Brainbuddy. Between Mom’s birthday present and Indiana Gone’s birthday, wedding, and Christmas. How about the Dæmon’s gift? As always, your Six Impossible Things:

  1. I AM Keeping It In My Pants (Day 005 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
  2. I AM Always The “Father” My Dæmon Deserves
  3. I AM Publishing My Poetry “GULP”
  4. I AM Reviewing Raphael By Tillie Cole
  5. I AM Reducing My Inbox To Zero
  6. I AM Finishing “How to Stop Worrying and Start Living”

I should have come as the ghosts of Christmas, Past, Present, Yet To Come. Mind spinning, A Wheel In Motion.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 159 ~Not Will’s Mad Son~

WillLeave a comment

December 7th, brave men and women died so I could complain about nonworking cars, newer fears, and neighbors, some people might consider it madness, and I wish I could say I was crazy, but it’s fear. “Not Will’s Mad Son”

Saturday, December 7, 2019

Log 159 ~Not Will’s Mad Son~

Hey Lady Lu,
I am a billionaire right now and a lover. Okay, time for the truth, I’m somebody’s son and My Dæmon’s father. So 2 out of four ain’t bad, better than my Six Impossible Things. Only I’m not mad at those failures as of late, but what’s grinding my gears today or not?

Again I have both of my parents, and I would rather lose myself than them. No, I’m not sentimental but indeed STUPID, sad, and a Scrooge. Now, this is more Inspector Echo’s wheelhouse, but here’s a confession. I was outside today “trying” to fix the car, and you know why? Lady Luna, I would indeed fry myself, poison, or crash rather than go to my Olds. Do you remember Indiana Gone’s Wedding? I was barely done checking in at the hotel when my Mom called frantically. She thought my card was gone. I didn’t tell her I was leaving town because I figured she and my “father” would ransack my place, no doubt. I’ve got submissive clothes in the closet, the house is a mess, and they might have better luck than hackers. It terrifies me to tell them one of my cars won’t start. One more failure from their STUPID son, so I can’t call the insurance people either.

The doctor, well, I haven’t seen one in forever, and my firstborn is doing fine. He’s only bored to tears. Daddy is always working, writing, looking at women. We are so going to get to that today. Anyway, I am no kind of father. Worse, I’m becoming my father; My Dæmon has a roof, he has food, I’m getting back my schedule with his medication. What about love, though? I tell him that every day, but how am I showing him some? He only ever gets my attention when he’s messing something up these days.

Speaking of messing up, the Universe presented me with an opportunity. While giving up on the car, a new neighbor walked up; her name is Madison. Brunette, pretty, no distance at all, but she wanted to use my Wi-Fi. Strange to call something mine, but anyway, what did I say? “I’m not comfortable with that, I’m sorry.” You know how I think Lady Lu, so why did I say no? As the song goes, oh no, the world is a scary place: well, I’m mad.

FEAR… Not Will’s Mad Son.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 158 ~The Will Of Success~

WillLeave a comment

There are things I can’t seem to avoid in life, one you know well. Two is President Trump *shudders* and a third is success stories even of people I like a lot, and unlike Eric Thomas, do I have jealousy and envy? “The Will Of Success”

Friday, November 29, 2019

Log 158 ~The Will Of Success~

Hey Lady Sophia,
I AM a Billionaire right now, but I’m looking for more. Now, of course, you know why I say I have all the money every single day. You hear it, and so do the rest of the ladies along with The Man In The Mirror. Eric Thomas talks about not having jealousy or envy. However, this week, I’ve heard three stories of success that well? I wish I were a better man. Last night Tony Baker (my favorite comedian now) got mentioned by Chris Cuomo. The “Skibbity Paps.” It’s A Southern Thing, continues to grow in fame. What about me, well somebody tried to log into my email, AGAIN, isn’t that something?

Everyone else is moving forward. Still, the only people interested in knowing my name are hackers. Not a good thing to be talking about, but I didn’t even plan on posting this today. Gratitude Lady Sophia, I must show it, but I have twenty-four free hours, and what did I do today? Umm, two bowls of nachos, slept for three hours this afternoon and didn’t work on a character bio. I can’t tell you what the plan for today was. Well, I could have tried to fix the car, but I was lounging around in bed until someone tried their hack. Next thing you know, I’m up securing files and taking a shower. I didn’t even bother to clean out my ear. You see, it’s things like this, complaining, whining, moaning. It makes me STUPID.

“Order is Heaven’s first law” ― Dale Carnegie, How to Stop Worrying and Start Living

I learned that today and this very moment, I’m attempting to live up to that knowledge. Below you’ll find only a list of one of my character glossaries when I worked on “The Big One,” I still haven’t decided on a title. My novel that inspired all the others but I can’t even finish GULP. If I wanted to Lady Sophia, I mean to put in the effort, but no, I like the “Day Job.” You know why it’s suicide, I’m killing myself every day, it keeps me focused despite the speed in which I do so. No, let me hate on Tony Baker and Talia Lin, you know why?

“If you wanna kill yourself, do it EXPEDITIOUSLY! Now go on and JUMP!” ― Joe Clark, Lean On Me (1989)

“You don’t have it.” Finola Hughes (Laura), Staying Alive (1983)

I don’t have it, Lady Sophia, The Will Of Success.

  1. Name
  2. A.K.A.
  3. Home
  4. Age
  5. Race
  6. Born
  7. First Appearance
  8. Hair Color
  9. Eye Color
  10. Cup Size
  11. Sex Appeal
  12. Family
  13. Sexual Status
  14. Sexual Orientation
  15. First Time
  16. Turn-Ons
  17. Turn-Offs
  18. Driving Motivation
  19. Biggest Fear
  20. Status

I Will Have No Fear