Episode 180 ~Sick Of Know Will~

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Well aren’t I running late today with everything, bills, conversation, and I’m sure there is a NO someplace, but that would require asking the question and don’t I think I know everything hmm? Sick Of Know Will

Friday, December 28, 2018

Episode 180 ~Sick Of Know Will~

Hey Lady Sophia,
How To Make One Million Dollars, have the guts to go after something harder than that; ahem, my Motivations, one says it’s never about the prize but the pride, for example, I can buy a NaNoWriMo winner’s shirt, but I believe one must earn it. Believe, there wasn’t a doubt in my mind that I could, should, and would write fifty thousand words, even more than that it was fact Lady Sophia, before the first word, there was my goal point blank.

Another Motivation, Hero Of Your Own Story and you’ve heard this a million times over, I wake up because I have to, I’m always grateful for B III’s safety and health, I don’t look in the mirror and I’m starting to think, maybe it’s because I KNOW who I am. Makes me a hypocrite saying I’m lost all the time or wandering at least, yes one foot in front of another today, tomorrow, every day zombified. When somebody new sees me well; to write you bleed, you spit venom, you breathe fire, and so you live, writing is living Lady Sophia, cage, institution, torture chamber, hell a concentration camp, a hospital, a library is a hospital for the HUMAN mind.

So how do I get discharged hmm… of course I talk to you but honestly what does this make me; well on top of everything else I’m tired, work, errands, I am keeping up with Christmas Cake: A Holiday Collection by Celia Aaron but that doesn’t count as work. I have such plans for tomorrow, promises but will I keep any of them, will I write them down, you know I do that every Sunday and again I know I won’t keep them, isn’t that precisely the type of man I am now? Speaking of man, you know what I have wanted to write all day, I asked “Okay,” “Indiana Gone,” and “M Anime” and they all agree but I have yet to make that move because I have no problem saying I’m afraid, twenty seconds of insane fucking courage.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZmMFIganRQY

I’m sick of knowing the answers to everything, that you don’t understand me one bit, that I’m looking at an F come Sunday and of losing more friends and light when she says NO. You get discharged by accepting the fact and doing it anyway because that my dear Lady Sophia is what living is, courage is not the absence of fear, it’s the knowledge that yeah you’re going to die, but for a second, twenty, you’re alive, and I’m not Sick Of Know Will.

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 179 ~Willies Under The Tree~

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I wouldn’t make Santa out to be a pimp or a dominant, only the owner of a big corporation so that he doesn’t have to worry about money, with one woman he’s been with forever and some little ones that aren’t his but he cares… “Willies Under The Tree.”

Thursday, December 27, 2018

Episode 179 ~Willies Under The Tree~

WARNING, 18+, READER DISCRETION ADVISED

Come In Dirty Diana,
How To Make One Million Dollars, Christmas isn’t that expensive; love is priceless, but the present, a gift, that wish, when a girl’s on her knees, when she shuts her eyes, hell when you leave her breathless. God, Daddy, ha my name would be good, but I don’t know many girls who call out to Santa and am I still hoping I’ll end up with some sexy eighteen-year-old vixen one day?

My tastes lately have let’s say matured though I’m not giving up but am I even “trying” at all or maybe I have more sense surprisingly… I didn’t buy any lingerie this Christmas though I’ve tossed around a bit of Erotica. One way or another it’s all about keeping the girl around isn’t it, Baby It’s Cold Outside so yeah it was bras and bikinis one year, books this one, and of course my BDSM lifestyle is all year round. The ideas of ribbons and bows give me a hard-on, and again I like wrapping up a P.Y.T but maybe what’s bothering me today, being dominant is one thing, and if you can love someone, well you can do anything but Santa loves the wives, mothers, and singles too right.

Ho, Ho, Ho indeed, because I want the girl and like any Dom, I want all that she is, now and how many times have you heard me say (from my Motivations) I’m not preaching separatism or isolation, what I desire is to know a woman like no one else. In return, I would give all of myself, and I would want for her to wish for it, be wanton for this, how about being wistful about me. It’s scary to know desire so badly and graver still if not but not from a lack of submission or devotion, instead because there is another life, and as always any man takes care of what; who belongs to him and if his woman values something even more than herself he must in turn value such too.

Newton, Santa, Mother Nature leave something under the tree, gifts to the world and I haven’t heard any complaints yet about mine… other than being a tad bit inappropriate at times. Not today though, this isn’t anywhere near lascivious, this time of the year but what about the rest of this month: sad perhaps this being our last conversation this year, Willies Under The Tree.

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 178 ~A Professional Eraser Will~

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Writer’s Block, yeah in a way because I have no clue what I was thinking today and then we had yesterday, I broke out of my place, got into a present, and of course cracked open one more book, and became someone else, sigh. A Professional Eraser Will

Wednesday, December 26, 2018

Episode 178 ~A Professional Eraser Will~

Forgive Me Echo,
How To Make One Million Dollars, well when I was in school, I had a friend they called SKINS, don’t ask me why, that memory sigh deleted, erased… but I don’t think it was because he was “hitting the skins,” anyway he wanted to be a hitman, an eraser. The things young men think about and in so doing since I can be anything I want even at my age I decided that I wanted to be a writer and that in itself is sin number one.

Now, this is more Lady Sophia’s barrel of laughs, but there is not a doubt in my mind that writing is what I’m meant to do so sin number two, what have I been doing all day besides sleeping… anyway living out my purpose has led to two things. For a third sin I don’t recognize who I am most days, hell in my last story we have a brothel owner, wolf boy, a MILF doctor, and inspirations from MOLD. My fourth sin is overthinking, the “man” talking to you now with the stomachache, the kid on his lap, and who is hyped up on an energy shot is the same one who is slamming his head on a steering wheel on Christmas morning yesterday.

“Cogito Ergo Doleo” I Think Therefore I Suffer, how many people do I know speak Latin but it’s not going anywhere and don’t I want to be immortal as a writer and yet my words are probably sitting in some old church lady’s glove box, in police reports, my name in some girl’s blog. So what is today’s point; well you’ve heard me talk about my “White Wall Theory” you know, scribbling on my skull, reading books, and of course, writing, and in one way I’m “trying” to erase myself, write over it, lose myself between the lines of “code.” Which leads to my fifth sin, my Motivations are saying that everything you want lies on the other side of fear and so I ask instead of erasing, editing, E-reading, who I am or want to be, shouldn’t I break?

The wall I mean, hell Trump should have hired me because I have built something that keeps out everything and keeps me in an asylum and wondering why the outside is so scary or even who do I think I’m protecting? Hell, “Indiana Gone” bought me the Zombie Survival Crate from Man Crates and if that doesn’t show the man I honestly am, a survivor of the DEAD, the Dominant, a Devil in disguise, but breaking into that crate was far quicker than saying I’ll Break The Walls Down when I rather apologize for all of my weakness Inspector Echo.

I am sorry for my profession and wasting it, for losing myself and hastily rebuilding myself with my overthinking, and keeping all of my fears inside or using them against a wall I can’t break, no A Professional Eraser Will.

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 177 ~Will, He Knows Santa~

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One day I do intend to have a house with a chimney and a vast fireplace and be it the roar of the fire, all the wrapping paper, or my mom’s Whitney Houston Christmas tunes I won’t mutter bah humbug. Will, He Knows Santa.

Tuesday, December 25, 2018

Episode 177 ~Will, He Knows Santa~

Dear Future Wife,

How To Make One Million Dollars, I mean if it’s not under the tree, which is only one more thing I’ll have to learn, putting up a tree, Christmas lights around the house, and probably housebreaking B III again as he’ll do what dogs do. I’ll do what dads or excuse me Santa Claus does, I mean sometimes it can be an art, another day a science, a minute, a moment, a memory to make someone happy, the kids, you babydoll, myself, a night like this I Believe In You And Me.

Since I’ve grown up (have I) lover, husband, father, I suppose I have learned to appreciate Christmas for other reasons, yeah I like working overnights, breaking into my house, getting to pretend to be someone I’m not. Maybe that song It’s The Most Wonderful Time Of The Year has it right to a certain degree and here’s another thing what would be my Christmas wish, kids tell you straight, and you aren’t honestly the shiny trinket type of a girl and of course with Triple B, as long as it goes into his mouth… I can be Scrooge, Santa, any one of the spirits, a student of gift giving though like the Beast to Belle:

Excuse my language my love but you know I could be so much worse and on this night I have seen those that would lie but for if not a noble reason, one that brings happiness and joy, tradition and I am a traditionalist. I am my mother’s son, and while I couldn’t tell you what she truly feels about Christmas, she would do anything to see my sister and I happy. I want to see you smile, I want our children to have everything they desire and if that means they believe in a man with a long white beard and a red suit well the things that I have faith in you know?

That’s why my friend got me a zombie fighting kit, how I believe that B III will be quite grey for the time being and if somehow Santa got you here to me, talk about a Christmas miracle indeed. So we’ll stay up tonight, wrapping presents, sipping cocoa, watching The Preacher’s Wife; yep my mom got me hooked or maybe A Christmas Story or A Christmas Carol, and perhaps by the early morning hours I’ll see the man I need to be wishing us all a very Merry Christmas. he’ll have to knock, or maybe the kids see you kissing him, perchance he’s in the mirror, Will, He Knows Santa.”

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 176 ~With A Little Faith Maybe~

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Merry Christmas that is if Santa finds his way in, does he work for Amazon, is he delivering a pizza, sure he’s magic right, though it hasn’t hit me on today of all days, where once was the faith of a child is now this. With A Little Faith Maybe

Monday, December 24, 2018

Episode 176 ~With A Little Faith Maybe~

Sixty-Fourth Rule Madam Justice

How To Make One Million Dollars, wasn’t it only yesterday I mentioned the Prosperity Ministry, how about finally publishing a book, and thinking about today I could create a holiday or merely exploit one. Before I forget, because I surely will, it’s Christmas Eve, which means tomorrow… ah Christmas, talk about having faith when I was a child, I believed in a fat man with presents, that is until I thought my parents wouldn’t know I played with my Nintendo 64 and put it back in the box and I knew I wouldn’t feel like this, no I loved Christmas.

Notice that I said I loved Christmas, I never loved Jesus or God, even when I worked for that Christian bookstore and had my “incredible” religious phase, the “Left Behind” series, hell Madam Justice all my work in Erotica has undertones of Christianity. Once upon a time I believed we would have flying cars by now and all sorts of technology… well greater I suppose but then I look at people, I look at myself. As far as Christmas goes, I want to have faith that I’ll get everything I want tonight, a clean house; I need to talk to you and the Future Wife, and tomorrow… well, that explains why I feel sick, why I’m afraid gasps new people.

Is that my problem with the holidays, with almost every single one, with a little faith maybe we are meant to be new people, Christmas we’re supposed to become Santa, New Year’s we have a chance at a clean slate, Valentine’s, etc. Every morning I wake up wanting to be someone better I know that but according to one of my Motivations, faith without work is dead, but you need that belief to get started idea vs. execution. I have thoughts, wishes, and hopes but they all get jumbled around until it’s a mess of grey and that is the road I tread right now.

Madam Justice I am far from believing in Santa on his sleigh in the skies above, I don’t think I’m walking in the sand with Jesus and do we need to talk about my swimming aversion, wisdom, and success as much as you want air… I believe that we are never alone in this vastness, that at this moment there is some killer virus waiting to get out, how about that The Purge can happen and we may face a zombie apocalypse, so why not look to me to live; Merry Christmas Eve, Merry Christmas, With A Little Faith Maybe.

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 175 ~Bells, Pails, Will Tell~

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All I want for Christmas… that’s like a list of the women I want to (um okay) if anything I want my wallet to be as full as my fridge, my son, and what’s up with, the cleaning supplies and gift bags and no one’s named charity. Bells, Pails, Will Tell

Sunday, December 23, 2018

Episode 175 ~Bells, Pails, Will Tell~

To Will:
How To Make One Million Dollars, let other people do it, The Salvation Army, Prosperity Ministry, and what’s one more pretty girl, but no, you have no choice but to listen to those loud ass bells, same with people, you have no faith in yourself, and how much did you spend today? Man I know how you feel about charity, it doesn’t make sense you know, somebody has millions if not billions of dollars, but from the proceeds of their obscene profits, they donate a million and feel good about themselves, tsk, tsk.

Now I don’t want to lecture you about money, hell you have over a thousand dollars waiting “The Alamo Fund” I’m also not telling you to be a fool and spend it all, neither am I complaining about how you’re living… Okay so that’s what I do honestly but what I mean is, you shine up like a new penny for what; did you spend money on “B III” today, in a way, seeing as how you always share right? You spend money on Pussy (Language), Pets, and Prose, and it’s the first, and the last that makes you so silly don’t you think, bringing up those Six Impossible Things:

  1. I Will Keep It In My Pants (Day 001 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 001 No Fap)
  2. I Will Be The “Father” My Dog Deserves
    Failed
  3. I Will Review Sell My Soul (Sixty Days #1) by Jade West
    Failed
  4. I Will Review Depredation By Natalie Bennett
    Failed
  5. I Will Finish The Golden Line: (Knotted Book 1), Addison Cain
    Completed
  6. I Will Edit One Chapter Of My Newly Written Novel
    Failed

Well, Merry “Freaking” Christmas, a 17.5 F and the most you can even start to hope for is five out of six until “Triple B” has his next Vet appointment, annual and his heart condition. You have a heart condition dammit because you believe in such things and throw money at them; being a father to a son because you have to, you clean up the house, get a haircut, shower, shave, buy presents and yes you feel better. My point is you believe in everything but yourself, you want to make others happy, you say your son is going to live until his brown coat is silver, you give everything you are to everything else, but you are impossible, unbelievable, worthless Six Impossible Things:

  1. I Will Keep It In My Pants (Day 001 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
  2. I Will Be The “Father” My Dog Deserves
  3. I Will Review Sell My Soul (Sixty Days #1) by Jade West
  4. I Will Review Depredation By Natalie Bennett
  5. I Will Finish Christmas Cake: A Holiday Collection by Celia Aaron
  6. I Will Edit One Chapter Of My Newly Written Novel

So much noise and somehow the holidays are supposed to be the cure and not the virus, how full would your gas tank be, your wallet, hell even your bed if all this faith you have somehow you could keep; Grammarly, blogging, put your money where your mouth is but you would never. Tell them to stop those bells, call out the liars, it’s okay to like your friends, but you go out of your way for them, be selfish, but it won’t be this week sigh I could guess that Bells, Pails, Will Tell.

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 174 ~William Things To Do~

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If everything I had to do was worth one dollar and yes I include breathing in that and maybe one day I will be able to lounge around in bed all day and make money, but I don’t see that person yet. “William Things To Do.”

Saturday, December 22, 2018

Episode 174 ~William Things To Do~

Hey Lady Lu,
How To Make One Million Dollars, more like why do I want a million dollars, one of my daily Motivations suggest that everyone has a purpose and that is to be happy, of course, I’m never content, another says to make a plan, one more “Man Up.”

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-spzlAoHJTI

Of those three I ask myself WHEN am I going to man up, most days I don’t know what kind of man I am, but at this moment shall I be the writer, someone wise, dare I say a whole human being and not pieces stitched together from the world? Hell, how many people see me when I refuse to, I’ve thought some on all the names I’ve heard for myself, and finally, the worse I have come to understand is when they don’t know your name at all. “William” but then again I hate Willie, so here I need to be the type of person that doesn’t need to introduce himself anymore but how can that happen, short of a zombie apocalypse, becoming a beast belonging in a zoo, achieving a state of Zen.

Vile. Vicious. Villainous. Vasiliev
Volcanic. Victorious. Valiant. Vetrov
Vocal. Voracious. Vindictive. Volkov
V Games Series

Don’t I wish I knew WHO was capable of such things, a warrior, the warthog, and again a learned man, one with wisdom, sometimes too much if you were to ask “Indiana Gone,” she knows me well, getting me one of those Zombie MAN CRATES; Purge or the Dead. She believes I’m a capable man, though most might call me a pig, and don’t worry I’m not one for the law exactly only like food; pigs know slaughter, warthogs fight back, sex and violence, mud or blood, such things calm me. Though Lady Lu, for the wisdom to find peace within and maybe that is why the wise say that they know nothing because the more you learn; yes earning is essential, but embarrassment is hot, this Christmas, I’ll burn.

Barrons Books & Baubles
MacKayla’s Manuscripts and Miscellany
Fever Series

WHAT I do know, at least for today is that I so do like alliteration, just in case you were wondering WHERE it comes from, Will’s Writings, Witticisms, And Wisdom and of course my dear B III or Triple B, my son’s name. It always comes back to wisdom and what do I choose to do with it these days, crying, comfort, cumming (language I know) but yet again my streak is gone because I have yet to discover what a man I might be’; Lady Lu, a slave obeys but a Will who knows. The holiday season, people expect miracles but how does one define a miracle; God Has A Plan, I’m still not religious but when a black man and a MILF say the same thing… still no, I’ll define me someday, only a William Things To Do.

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 173 ~Purposeful Listlessness Of Will~

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Top ten actresses, best places to build a brothel, and could Santa carry a billion dollars in his bag, I’m sure I could think of a few ways, but no I instead count other “things” or not, *sigh* so many sheep. Purposeful Listlessness Of Will

Friday, December 21, 2018

Episode 173 ~Purposeful Listlessness Of Will~

Hey Lady Sophia,
How To Make One Million Dollars, be too lazy to make an actual list of the things you want; my Motivations talk about writing down everything from your wishes, to whys, to The Way, and I mean your life’s purpose. I remember when Cherry talked about my Pinterest boards, my “Spank Bank” I was able to tell her so handily what I wanted to do with my life; I want to write books, have a bordello and a billion dollars… not good.

Probably because it would end up as Exhibit A in some court case am I right, but wanting to rule the world and be a politician, can be two different things but learning from America, being a Republican gets you paid and thus all sorts of control. Is there ever such a thing especially considering today, if I made a list of everything that has threatened that command… more Dirty Diana’s wheelhouse but Anna Blossom (Pornhub), Two Milfs (sigh), Haley Pullos, to mention a few. I can only imagine if this was Divergent and here I am attempting to be Dauntless, do you know how many fears I would have to name and maybe that’s the rub… Motivations say that everything you want lies on the other side of FEAR, the cooler side of the pillow but dreams and nightmares:

Honestly, besides a massive case of blue balls, my definition of Hell would be writing down a list of the women I can’t have, in other words, Erotica and with everything I should be doing today, I didn’t even list my short story as a goal. My dear Lady Sophia, today’s lists have included, organizing the rugs at the day job (with my OCD), keeping track of all the presents I bought “Ho, Ho, Ho” (Language Please) and plotting the moments that will lead to my untimely destruction come Christmas Day (Indiana Gone will not be pleased with that assessment).

I look into every outcome of how I can be embarrassed, humiliated, or dead, which is one of the reasons I sleep so much, ask me what I want and I would say everything, the women I desire again I’m screwed or not, so yes I’m lazy. Aren’t I also impossible, immoral, illegal, and insane as always and I prefer Santa keep his cheeks rosy for other reasons, of course, if he were a man like me… he only works one day a year but for me, on the other hand, Purposeful Listlessness Of Will.

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 172 ~Will’s Milf One Day~

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My mom is pretty smart, one Christmas when I scrapped it and pretty much all religion, in general, she still got me exactly what I wanted, and any woman that gains the attention of a man knows what he wants regardless. Will’s MILF One Day

Thursday, December 20, 2018

Episode 172 ~Will’s Milf One Day~

WARNING, 18+, READER DISCRETION ADVISED

Come In Dirty Diana,
How To Make One Million Dollars, take care of my mommy issues, is that what we call them, I mean people always talk about women with daddy issues but other than apologizing for my father, I have no beef with mom.

She reminds me of the “Three Wise Monkeys” see, hear, and speak no evil, and speaking of ancient wisdom, I’ve heard somewhere that guys go for women that remind them of their mothers but what’s that got to do with the three Milfs I have on the brain. One I haven’t seen in about two months, and she doesn’t look at me like; well, how I look at her, then again I have seen her naked, but I can’t blame her for how she sees herself. To think all I want to do is see her all dressed up and with that what else is noticeable should I unwrap her.

I can tell her anything unlike the younger Milf, the Rainbow Girl, she wouldn’t have heard me then, and she won’t listen to me now but how my heartbeats, how I howled, I’d help myself to Hell and back unlike the “man” that knocked her up and left. Milfs only hear the things that come out of them, blabber, men full of bullshit, and babies but here I have ball gags, and without all the balls to say anything but beautiful because to speak the truth just for one day, to hear, Stay With Me.

Well ask the third Milf, the first is around 28, the second 22, the third 40 and yet I have the same question for the three of them How Do You Talk To An Angel, now that’s somewhat sweet, but moms are angels right… mother is made God in the eyes of a child. A man like me wouldn’t stand a chance, but at the same time I’m not that guy, one has a family, the second never noticed, and the third is listening to God and while I usually love being attentive to women if it’s not moaning, screaming, or a Yes, back to bondage. Honestly, I only wish everyone would shut the hell up but how often do I talk to guys, and how often do girls talk to me, and I can’t talk at all because that again requires the truth and hearing that, Don’t Be Cruel…

“I Wanna Fuck You,” and you know something Dirty Diana, do you know who’s truly honest… still women prefer the general population, men that lie and I can do that but as I told “Indiana Gone” my mother attempted to raise a gentleman and that I am, the nice guy, not the FWB, boyfriend, or who knows what else, but I’m miffed as it were by Will’s MILF One Day.

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 171 ~Just Facts It Will~

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The good thing about writing fiction is I can tell myself a story every night and tomorrow morning and then when it comes to setting my fingers to the task suddenly I have writer’s block so let me tell the truth. Just Facts It Will

Wednesday, December 19, 2018

Episode 171 ~Just Facts It Will~

Forgive Me Echo,
How To Make One Million Dollars, for all my “creativity,” “originality,” and porno acumen the FACT is I lack Discipline, Direction, and sigh Desire because I’m still here though the jury is out on my embarrassment, ego, and evil… such “good intentions.”

Now we’ll get to those Inspector Echo, first let’s talk about what happened Monday which I’m still torn up about, my Social Anxiety, Bipolar Depression, OCD… all in my head right, okay so my manager asks me to give this girl (I’ve never met) a hard tag remover. So I walk to the front of the store, see a girl working with a customer and I hang around for five minutes trying to read her name tag because I’m HORRIFIED to ask her name (eyes getting better, nope). Anyway, I end up leaving the device on the farthest register away from her and then coming back to the house; don’t get me started on why they don’t want me opening the store, hell my ANXIETY is libel to get the place robbed, hating my life.

I’m not the only one that loathes MY life, what about my parents; the things they must tell themselves; the house I ran to, they bought, because telling blessed, black, believers that your son is in a mental institution or dead would be too much. Speaking of too much and people I don’t talk to regularly, remember that year I wrote to “REALDOLL” hoping I might get one, $$$ well guess where some of my money is going this year.

Aren’t I suppose to be numbering sins… anyway while I’m counting dollars you say why don’t I give money to charity; now that is a big question but quickly I give money to writers (NaNoWriMo), women (Friends, Workers, Sex or Otherwise), and my world, Step Into A World. I didn’t even get my mother a gift and her birthday was on Dec. 16 and as far as Christmas goes, would I say I hate it, but I bought gifts for all the other women in my life, now if that ain’t a sin. The last fact of the day is how little I know about myself or the fact that everything I want for Christmas is still impossible, immoral, illegal or insane, case and point some girl saying Let Me Be Your, Siren, or Detroit: Become Human; what I bought it for someone else right.

So may you forgive me Echo my apparent lack of triple D’s but abundance of E’s, my embarrassing workday which goes to show why I will not go up for promotion, though I owe so many, my charitable connotations, I am grateful to my mother dearly but what a child she gave to the world, a man… didn’t I say Echo, Just Facts It Will.

I Will Have No Fear