Something I miss most about my son, B, is his eyes. When he looked at me, it was like he believed in the man I wanted to be. I see that in his Favorite Girl’s eyes. And now I possibly have a girl, and I see it in her text. But me? “B, The Poster Boy”
Monday, June 16, 2025
Meditation 350 ~B, The Poster Boy~
Hey Dad,
It’s Me, Baby B… And you will always be more than “Just A Man.” You will always and forever be my father. Dad?
What? There’s a few things to unpack there, I guess. First, did you think my and Virgil’s potential stepmom, “M Anime, aka Julia 1984,” is the only one that knows good music? I mean, you did make her a playlist called “The Red Sash.” It gives her even more potential.
And yes, Dad, we need to talk about her. You were talking to my Favorite Girl the other day. So why can’t we talk about a girl you like. Daddy, you talking to my stepmom…
Didn’t you say once upon a time that this was my big fear? You and a girl. I know, Dad.
No one will take my place. But what did you say to Virgil on Saturday? My little brother… Love you?
“You taught me using any technique that works, never to limit myself to one style, to keep an open mind.”
― Frank Dux, Bloodsport (1988)
And you and I both know, Dad, that there is more than one way to love. We were brothers-in-arms. I was a prince to a king. A son to a father. “I’m your back, you’re mine.” I considered our life together to be Heaven… Yes, not always, but I served in Heaven so you could reign in what you considered Hell. “I have served. I will be of service.” Movies?
Daddy, you don’t think I remember all those movie nights with you and my Favorite Girl, yes, my favorite. “My job, my score, get your own!” Movies, Manuscripts, and all that Movement when you would watch any of the glow boxes. We are best friends, we do everything together. But when you look at yourself…
Sometimes, my Dad. And others more like my Big Brother. And you hate him. Always.
That’s why I’m not playing O’Brien to your Winston. Let M Anime be your Julia.
Seriously, Daddy, Ew! But I am happy for you. But this is what you need to understand, my father. You have let others plaster you all over, and you feel that’s what you are, Dad.
“Big Brother is watching you.”
From George Orwell ― 1984
And the image of you as I shut my eyes is what you are. “No Fate But What We Make. Dad, we are both men and artists. One a little furrier, that’s all. And if you want to paint the picture or as you sing “Everyday I Write The Book,” Remember, I see you, I love… B, The Poster Boy
“All he wanted was to get home quickly and then sit down and be quiet”
From George Orwell ― 1984
“Here is the toil of that house, and the inextricable wandering”
― from The Aeneid
1597 Days Without B III, Day 1038 of Virgil’s Arrival
Always and Forever,
Your Son