Journey 349 ~Braxton, Virgil, Soft Paws~

I may wallow in pain. Give myself a walloping as in a smack to the face. Just to wake up… And I may want to join my boy. But I treat everyone else gently, with kid gloves, and soft paws… But I am “My Own Worst Enemy.” Braxton, Virgil, Soft Paws.

Monday, June 15, 2026

Journey 349 ~Braxton, Virgil, Soft Paws~

Hey Dad,
It’s me, Baby B. Did you have a good day? Good day? Seeing an all-too-familiar scene, I would say not. Are there differences?

I’d be at my post… Left side at the foot of the bed. “Staring at the world through my rearview.” Eyes in the back of my head, right, Dad? And my little brother? Bless Virgil.

Conked out on the right side at the foot of the bed. Dreaming his life away like father like son. Or maybe he understands something. I served you as best as I could—little princes.

I protected your outer world for the most part. Emotional, yeah. It’s one of the promises you told Virgil, and I’s potential future stepmom. “I Feel Everything.” Because with me.

Yeah, INDIFFERENCE you’re always saying. Those final days before I… Well, you were so mad. RAGE. And you wanted to keep me safe… From you…

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

You aren’t a monster. Definitely not MAGA. FDT! You’re “Just A Man,” “Human,” an “Ordinary Human.” More. You are my father, my Dad, my Old Man. Same for my bro.

And M Anime? Dad, I was a bachelor for life, but you promised Virgil a mom and me and siblings… Don’t need to know how they’re made, eww! But you chose her, and she chose you. And she sees what your “Princes of the Universe” do every single day, Dad.

But like us, you’re afraid of hurting her too. Do you remember that movie night when my favorite girl was here? Yeah, which one? Because she was the only one I ever just let in.

Yeah, I know after six months, being a hard ass.

You didn’t think twice about showing her that certain video you sent me out of the room for. “Of Inner …” Do you think you could share something like that with M Anime? That’s why it isn’t love yet… Because as strong as Virgil and I are. You worry, Dad.

You think 2-V needs to see a veterinarian soon. You worry that anything could happen.

And as much as my potential stepmom promises… I don’t think you’d need the gate to keep V and me away. But again, you fear her seeing everything. Hearing. Understanding.

What’s there to understand? Okay lots. You treat us with soft paws. You pause. Dad.

Papi… I don’t want to know. Why do you hate yourself? Braxton, Virgil, Soft Paws

“Invincible, Impenetrable, Invisible no longer applied to me. I adopted three new things: Resurrection. Redemption. Resolution. All my life, I’d been a pawn. But not anymore. I was a provider, lover, father, and friend.”
Destroyed

“Unhappy boy, if you can break through cruel fate…”
Aeneid

1961 Days Without B III, Day 1402 of Virgil’s Arrival

Always and Forever,
Your Son