Tag: Dreams

Log 045 ~Will’s Having Some Balls~

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A “great man” once talked of having balls and his word; I have two years and a few books worth of words but balls; I should try holding on to cash at some point as the song goes if it doesn’t make dollars it makes no cents. “Will’s Having Some Balls”

Thursday, August 15, 2019

Log 045 ~Will’s Having Some Balls~

WARNING, 18+, READER DISCRETION ADVISED

Come In Dirty Diana,
I AM a Millionaire right now and I ain’t saying she’s a gold digger. Not any of them from the cosplayer, to the coworker, or any other cuties. I had a revelation while I was sleeping. It was this afternoon, last night I dreamt all about the Blazkowicz sisters and the Nazis. I’m trying not to have any dirtier thoughts there. Anyway this afternoon I thought about why I’m always attracted to the broken. The bad stories still get me going as well. Not to mention bouncing asses; damn, I should have read my book today.

To this day, sites like “Street Blowjobs,” “Pure Taboo,” “Casting Couch HD, I could go on. The thing is the whole industry appears solely on a premise of brokenness. Now I know that’s not true always. What I mean is people need money. Pure Taboo tells great stories. I’m not ashamed to say I dream I could write like that Dirty Diana. Whitney Wright said a man needs a lot of money to get into the industry. There’s also moving, and of course, you’ve seen my plans. So perhaps my ability to see the broken is more a blessing than a curse. You know I hate showing my brokenness but how else to see it in others. Some dominants start from knowing submission. The “School of Bondage” is an example. From a broken home, a shattered kid breaks pretty girls.

It’s weird how everything in my world comes together. At the Day Job, the second song I listened to (started with Tillie Cole’s Playlist.) Yes, I’ll get back to her book but the second song I added was Venom Rap (We Are Venom). “I know you have anger. Now you need presence!” Dirty Diana if that doesn’t describe me some days. Please don’t make me out to be Trump, never properly explaining myself. Money is a presence. While I’m on the subject, I spoke to Alice Little yesterday. I’m not headed out Nevada way this September, and why is that? I’m broke, busted, and full of bullshit. She was kind about it, though she found other plans pretty fast. What about me, I had a year to make a million and where has it all gone? Boobs, Butts, but B is still my greatest love.

If only his best friend were better. I’ll find one day Will’s Having Some Balls.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 033 ~Will Makes Life Harder~

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The only thing harder than writing is, okay, I won’t go there but that and what I have devoted my life to both come out pleasurable in the end; today though let’s see if I have a problem that can trump the two, seriously? Will Makes Life Harder

Saturday, July 27, 2019

Log 033 ~Will Makes Life Harder~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Millionaire right now, so why isn’t cold hard cash enough? You know I’ve never held the delusion that money fixes everything? Indeed, money should make things harder because I have plenty of building to do. I say it often enough, brothels, photoshoots, resorts, strip clubs, studios. Not to mention everything that it takes to defend my new empire. It all starts with a pen or pencil in my hand, how my fingers hit the keys. Of course, you know what I have been holding onto these days; day one.

So I’m trying to find things that are harder than that, ha good luck. Well if we start with last night, Hank shot Connor. Relax, it’s Detroit Become Human; still, I hate to lose. If anything makes me despise humanity “It’s In The Game” it’s Hank. If you’re wondering about humanity “In The Desert Of The Real” I saw my sister and nephew last night. I never know what to do with my family; I fucking research Pornstars (LANGUAGE). Friends aren’t helping, though I’m happy for “Indiana Gone.” I’m still planning how to get to her wedding. As for my best friend, my son “B III,” he had a slight illness last night. Puking by the gallons and talk about changing dirty diapers or pee pads. It was hard having to keep him away because his favorite “sick spot” is under the bed… a mess?

Hell, I haven’t spoken to “Okay” in forever. Where else can I find a maid that I could talk out of her clothes one day? You see like that I’m always back to the porn from Hazel Ricotta to Alice March, OnlyTease Hettie, and others. The Devil’s Hand it seems, thank you Alycia Debnam-Carey and Adelaide Kane. Keeping myself in check is tougher than letting B III out twenty times to bark. Dare I say more so than Walmart Chicken Tenders, after twenty-four hours. How about avoiding awkward moments with anyone? I could tell my Day Job no or stand-up to one of the many men there and not some girl. What about being weighed down by some lost Facebook friend? Don’t even get me started on everything in my country that is going wrong.

“Wheels of Steel,” “Iron Will” from William Shakespeare, to the Conqueror and Will Smith. My dreams are gigantic, to hold them, Will Makes Life Harder.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 005 ~That’s The Willing Spirit~

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As the song goes, something so strong, driving me on, but I’m not the Best of the Best, as one of my motivations goes, I’m driven or perhaps possessed by the spirit of porno, talk about a god I could get behind. “That’s The Willing Spirit.”

Saturday, July 6, 2019

Log 005 ~That’s The Willing Spirit~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Millionaire right now, so it’s crazy I’m still in bed, well this bed. At least it’s not 2 AM, and the loveseat, no not again. Another 5000 words down counting my conversation with you. I don’t know what it’s been about all this week I have been kicking Camp NaNoWriMo’s ass (LANGUAGE) but what about tomorrow? Again these days it has always been 5000 words, and I’m not going to stop now am I? There’s nothing to say about this week other than writing.

Of course, I have to get up and adult at some point like yesterday. Most of the time I am sitting in bed, typing away, is this living the dream. No, the hope is to be doing this on my private beach until my family pulls me away. I got back in touch with M Anime after blowing her off awhile. Don’t even talk to me about my inbox or cleaning the house, though the bathrooms are holding steady. I got over my anxiety enough to try out that new BBQ place, do you remember the old Piggy Potato from Jim ‘N Nick’s? I have a new favorite, but I’m only saying that because I’ll get called out for my “Uncertainty” thank you Hemingway App.

Speaking of which when we last left my runaway story, the cosplayer is in trouble. Why am I even hiding it? Her name is Sabrina Nichole. The Bitch (LANGUAGE) that shall not be named is The Director. I have Court Carmody playing her PA. So I’m back to name dropping, or I’m too tired to hide a perversion here or there. Here’s a strange thought from The Matrix. Naming a blonde, brunette, redhead as characters in my novel, you can call me Cypher ha. I don’t even need constant fireworks to keep me up, two days ago and still going. B III isn’t too happy, but I’m with him on that, fireworks creep me out something awful also. Loud noises but nothing as loud as the voices running around in my head begging to know justice. Even now, I’m not too pleased with my reality.

The Day Job, which is why I am working so hard now, I could afford to take a few days off. I keep saying that don’t I Lady Lu, but there is something stronger? You know That’s The Willing Spirit.

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 363 ~A New Leaf Will~

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In two more days it will have been two years since I started this blog and why did I begin again; the things we do for love; Nah the things I do because of Girls, Girls, Girls as the song goes — a New Leaf Will, not that I can turn one over

Saturday, June 29, 2019

Episode 363 ~A New Leaf Will~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Millionaire right now, but that’s the equivalent of the leaves on the trees. How do I come up with these ideas? Lady Luna, I spent too much time outside? If not that it was in the movie theater, learning no amount of money ever bought a second of time. It’s nice to know I’m still awake, still learning. Well, at least the second time around which brings me to today. You know Monday I will have been talking to you and the ladies for two years straight and myself.

Two years, where does the time go? Since I don’t want to go over it Monday, let’s repeat the old story. I liked some tall brunette that worked at the Day Job once upon a time. Then I said some dirty things. For example, I compared her and a friend to Brazzers and Reality Kings pornstars. For the record I miss porn. Anyway, she called me “skeevy” so I talked to you and braced for the worst. A month and some change later, she was no longer a friend and called me out on her blog. Since then, I’ve written nearly every day for these two years. Following that time, I’ve fucked myself over (Language) counting her, three brunettes. “Something, something leaves,” “The Rainbow Girl,” and “Okay.” People wonder why I want to own a whorehouse; it’s up there somewhere.”

“Some people move on. But not us… Not us” Avengers: Endgame, Steve Rogers, Captain America

In my brain, along with that angel, I’m waiting for from Heaven. All the money that will rain down on me. The roof that I want to put over B III’s head because he’ll live forever. The thing about turning over a new leaf is that they have to fall first. No Lady Lu I’m looking up, and I want to claim everything. Like before, you? Madam Justice, Dear Future Wife, Inspector Echo, Dirty Diana, Lady Sophia. Only I still want to make things right with the Man in the Mirror. I’m not looking back, but up whether it be online or in my dreams. Speaking for reality though I have a yard to mow because it’s getting too high for B III. One more thing me and my son have in common. Hope, because if I don’t win PCH well, I wasted a month saying I would publish my book. Those are pages I should be turning now instead of A New Leaf Will.

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 356 ~Will’s PG Programming Guide~

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Time to get to work, not knocking anyone but those words at 4:00 AM suck when you know you’re not getting paid a whole lot, so it makes sense even “adult entertainment” has proper hours. Will’s PG Programming Guide.

Saturday, June 22, 2019

Episode 356 ~Will’s PG Programming Guide~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Millionaire right now but not because of my network. In Episode 345 “You Got Will’s Number” I talked about what that would entail. Cosplayers. Sex-Ed, Reactors, Adult Entertainment, And Gamers in general. It would be my own YouTube, well dirtier. These past few days, I have been too tired even to do that. Last night was a nightmare. The house smells like shit (LANGUAGE), and the dreams keep coming. They beat what’s coming out of B III’s butt though. Again though I can be far worse as Quasimodo said.

“No face as hideous as my face
Was ever meant for Heaven’s light” Heaven’s Light

I know Lady Lu, positive vibes and that’s me being B III’s father. When I meet the right woman and Triple B has “normal” siblings” will I be the man, the father they need? All I know is I was up at 4:00 AM scrubbing the floor. At this rate, I wouldn’t oppose a few dirty diapers thrown away. What about Rule 012, “I Take Own My Lumps,” I am the responsible one. He needs care I make sure he gets it. I’m the one arguing with publishers. Even now, I need to call the Vet back about my son. If anything being a father being an adult keeps me out of other messes; for the most part. Sleep has not been a problem, and anger can mix with other things too. Nothing will ever take my boy’s place though that’s for sure, Lady Lu.

Not that I have any other ladies beating down my door. If I got so lucky the house is a mess and did I mention Triple B’s bathroom problem? My dreams are much cleaner. It was three parts, the first being a multitude of doors. No matter if I knocked, kicked, and because keys aren’t needed, the door would open to white mist. When I woke up, I went to B III’s room and stepped feet first into one of many messes. After an hour, I was back to sleep with those same doors. On the other side, there was only me, and I ran. It’s something out of Jordan Peele’s “Us” only with doors, not mirrors. I heard in a song once Don’t Let Me Get Me. How about my new favorite game Is This Porn? No, I don’t have time for that or anything else, to be honest.

Pops is taking care of business, Will’s PG Programming Guide.

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 334 ~Tit For Tat Will~

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Is writing on your skin anymore personal than writing these things, only a thought but I write and should be reading every day, I owe myself a few tattoos, a published book, and Chinese for lunch but here I am. “Tit For Tat Will.”

Friday, May 31, 2019

Episode 334 ~Tit For Tat Will~

Hey Lady Sophia,
I AM a Millionaire right now. How I long to tell you the story of how I made my first million. Two hundred thousand people having faith in me seems unbelievable. Like telling myself, B III will live forever or the fact that I even woke up.

If excuses were stories, I would be all over the place. I meant to read Think And Grow Rich; it’s been two days. I should have read these words already, but I couldn’t get to my table. How about writing down all the promises to myself. The UNIVERSE is so much the better storyteller. Giving me exactly what I’m thinking about, be it “Knock Knock” (2015) with Keanu Reeves. “Tape” with Isabelle Fuhrman and some rather tantalizing topics on IMDB. Still not counting it as PORN because it’s IMDB. It’s not like I’m looking up “Dirty Movies” like I said Cherry wanted me to watch a movie. A classic after I read the book, not that I’m blaming her. I think I’ve done enough to her as she’s reading “Sick Fux” she’s getting dirty looks.

I’m sure I would see one in the mirror if I cared to look. This whole post would be nothing but lists if Triple B didn’t need to go out. So I grabbed a pen and paper on my way back to bed. Should I be telling you the story of how lazy I am? Yesterday was Unload. This morning after I did my morning routine, I promptly fell back asleep. That is another story a sex dream. I think I know who the girl was, and I could find her in my collection. Only that would be a step too far. I mean Patreon will ruin my porn free streak, (I only saw her topless for a second). Regardless of what Brainbuddy thinks. Clearing my collection away would be watching pornography and would set me right back at one.

At least I’m not telling you I failed, which I did in the dream. Now the only reading I’m doing is the time on the clock and a Chinese menu. On top of dollars and let’s go ahead and call it a million bucks. The next will come when I pick a title for my new book, and I’ll start getting tattoos to remember them all. “Tit” meant something else right; Tit For Tat Will.

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 221 ~Can Be Border Will~

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Anywhere but here, indeed what do I do here but sleep and dream of something better and if I’m awake the little head isn’t helping either, always on edge and trust me that’s not glory, no somebody else is marrying “J Law” *sigh*. “Can Be Border Will”

Thursday, February 7, 2019

Episode 221 ~Can Be Border Will~

WARNING, 18+, READER DISCRETION ADVISED

Come In Dirty Diana,
How To Make One Million Dollars, become a private detective, think about it, I’ve already had some call me a stalker, like I would waste my time, then again how bored am I, idle hands and all. Take for example yesterday how I found another way to kill time, I take one photo of some European models and next thing you know I have a whole new gallery ready to go.

Pinterest is another time suck though that’s more “research” hell Dennis Hof built over half a dozen bordellos, filled with girls to his liking, only as “Cherry” pointed out I’m only creating a spank bank. I suppose some men dream of going to Bora, Bora, is moving to Las Vegas not big enough or more like Carson City, now that’s a life goal but while I want to tour the world one day “when” I get that far I want to run the place. Keeping my eyes open as it were but from the moment I was born, I became aware everything I wanted was wrong in one way, shape or form, the feminine form.

It’s like I have something akin to borderline personality disorder but then again what do I know, as a matter of fact, my Dirty Diana, what does anybody know about me… yeah, this is going to be less sexy than I hoped, but I’m on edge slightly. My relief is borne from my words hopefully. Even my characters are usually a bunch of smarty pants that read into their hustle, hoes, and hijinks; and this type of work I don’t find hard at all, and it would undoubtedly beat organizing shoes. Talk about boring, but it kept me from watching the clock and that I’m still doing; when your enemy is bound to show up any minute; knowing why you hate them so much honestly.

I could probably use a nice Bordeaux right about now if I were a drinker, but I only have one drug of choice, and I’m trying desperately to keep it under wraps because if I saw her or them naked… a man can dream. So much for my boredom am I right but let a man live in his fantasy even if it winds up sending him straight to Hell but the big head and the little one are stopping cold, and with good reason indeed; Can Be Border Will.

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 201 ~Your Will Is King~

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I have dreamed a dream, and most I can’t remember, but it’s the ones that stick with me that I have to worry about, especially since I wasn’t reading this morning but writing this in my head and how they say, so let it be written… “Your Will Is King”

Friday, January 18, 2019

Episode 201 ~Your Will Is King~

Hey Lady Sophia,
How To Make One Million Dollars, or how about staying in the black, because I wasn’t yesterday going over budget, I don’t regularly read black writers though I can say I didn’t read period when it comes to this morning, and usually my dreams are snow white. Hell, the last story I wrote with African American women… Some Assembly Required maybe, and two characters are archetypes of Alicia Keys and Zoë Kravitz, now that’s bound to tick somebody off am I right?

Now I’m nowhere near Martin Luther King Jr and already how dare I blame his birthday, my fascination with True Teen Babes or my “gift” of prophecy but I Have A Dream or had last night, and per usual, this is one of those I deem worthy of merit and fear. It was about this girl at the day job, and honestly, pickings are slim but this one girl who reminded me of Amandla Stenberg and “Rainbow” and honestly I found her so beautiful but in my dream while she was an object of lust she was also taboo. I never know what my “important” dreams mean until after the trouble, stay away from her, other black women have stirred up trouble these days, maybe my darker interests will be exposed sooner or later shudders

Not like I haven’t written about a variety of white women and as far as most black people hell Lady Sophia I might give Steve King a run for his money and maybe that’s it, my dream might be asking me am I willing to stand for my words. At this point, I have nothing to lose, or it could be telling me I’m overlooking potential, and I have learned my lesson about doing anything in the workplace, again this week I’ve lost sleep, music, friendships; be myself… I shouldn’t.

I’m a fucking horror show (Language) like Stephen King, but it felt so good Lady Sophia, long story short; I was at my grand mommy’s house, (father’s side is my grandma, mother’s side my grandmommy) anyway this was the last time I remember actively chasing little black girls. So day job girl is dancing in pajamas in the guest room, and next thing I know we’re dancing together and fall to the bed and I’m scared to move but she touches my cheek, and I touch hers and let’s say we’re moving into Dirty Diana territory but more romantic. Maybe I think I’m better than her which would be a terrible thought, but don’t I believe deep down I’m higher than most African Americans? Again horrible, and I can’t merely accept this was a dream about a pretty girl I would sleep with but my dreams Lady Sophia, I should tell the man in the mirror, Your Will Is King.

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 075 ~Big Names Excuse Will~

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The Man stands tall; he doesn’t have to say he’s big, grand, or as the song goes, gigantic, gigantic, but I have a big, big love if I ever paid my words any attention but like English class, I was busy writing excuses. Big Names Excuse Will

Friday, September 14, 2018

Episode 075 ~Big Names Excuse Will~

Hey Lady Sophia,
Give Me One Reason not to make an excuse; my fifth-grade year of school, I damn near wrote a novel with them, considered it an elective, and it was my first shot at nonfiction… what, eye drops freaked me out, and afterward I forgot about homework. Is that why working from home has come back to bite me in the ass, and of course you ask, why don’t I go to the library today and I have excuses for that too. Need to preserve the car tires until I get new ones, how about the day job, or my little boy WAS sick a few days ago.

However, If I Had $1,000,000; I miss writing plans like that, of course, it was never how to get the money but what I would do once I had it and one of those things would be to give my son the best life ever. I was sitting in the car listening to my motivation playlist of course and the guy says, is it possible to have a million dollars in a year and just saying I thought there is no excuse I shouldn’t be a millionaire, more like a Billionaire. Why should I write even more explanations when I have my purpose WRITING and my why, My SON, REVENGE, POWER, maybe that’s the thing, my whys must outnumber all those things I can blame.

The big stories that seem so incredible, so “Legen-Wait For It… DARY!” that I do get discouraged, how I wish I was that smart, and make me question how they got away with it, 4 Years Trapped in My Mind Palace, Detroit: Become Human or Bible Black. Those names that I hope to be, strive to “date,” and titles I want as much as my name itself, Will Smith, Jennifer Lawrence, and while I should want to be me how about, author, husband, father. Oh Lady Sophia, what big dreams I have, to never worry about money again, to have that brothel. Maybe to get even with those that have done me wrong; yeah my anger doesn’t disappear overnight but how about this; never having to introduce myself, ever again.

My name has to be bigger; my word needs to be greater because now it’s sorry Benjamin Franklin, I have to hide you for a rainy day while I spend Washington and Lincoln. My apologies to the Fanning sisters, stick with my Pinterest, and Alice Little I dream of coming to the ranch someday, and yeah my son needs medication but Big Names Excuse Will.

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 059 ~Iron Today, Will Tomorrow~

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My head is made of stone today, and I wish I were a Tin Man because my flesh is killing me, after all, it is stronger than steel as was said in “Conan The Barbarian,” but everything feels so damn hard at the moment. “Iron Today, Will Tomorrow” *sigh*

Wednesday, August 29, 2018

Episode 059 ~Iron Today, Will Tomorrow~

Forgive Me Echo,
Give Me One Reason to stop, other than the fact that it’s “set in stone,” but that’s the Internet for you, and wasn’t I lucky that it was in its infancy when I was in high school; yeah my age is both a crime and punishment. Talk about throwing dirt on my name, but will they remember me someday, what for I ask, well Inspector Echo, this covers a wide arrange of sins, probably more suited for Dirty Diana so I will tone it down today, hopefully.

I am not the man of steel, goes without saying, especially over the last few minutes… what I mean is I’m not the hero, I’m not exactly the villain either, or at least I hope not, but I’m not “made of stone.” Iron Will, an elemental metal, yes I spent most of my workday imagining different metals and stones; when you’re introducing yourself, well Will a.k.a. Iron Will, a.k.a. I Go Hard, and there we go back into that “adult situations” state of mind. Sex and violence, you see my writing takes care of my violent tendencies, for the most part, and the sex somewhat but I also want to own a brothel someday too.

Silence is golden, am I right but is that a sin, admitting a life goal, I want a lot in this world, and I want to say I’m going to earn it but I didn’t go to the library today to write and will I be working on my novel today? All that glitters is not gold, and that can be both a good thing and a bad thing, but as I often hear in my motivations, it’s good to be a dreamer but better to be a planner and a worker and I’m dreaming a lot lately. Too bad I’m awake when I do and when I’m in bed *sigh* it’s hard but I’m on Day 15 though I’m edging like crazy for sure.

Diamonds are forever, and that is what I need to be doing, pressure and time that’s what it takes with coal but how can I when I’m on fire, and I feel like at any moment there will be nothing left of me? Will you forgive me Inspector Echo for being so random today, for the sins I know that will remain and for attempting to dig myself up from beneath the stone, for being a “basic bro,” for wanting that Midas Touch, and for not appreciating what I am for the moment because I know, Iron Today, Will Tomorrow.

“The riddle… of steel.”

“Yes! You know what it is, don’t you boy? Shall I tell you? It’s the least I can do. Steel isn’t strong, boy, flesh is stronger! Look around you. There, on the rocks; a beautiful girl.” ― Conan the Barbarian (1982)

I Will Have No Fear