Tag: Excuses

Lesson 280 ~I Missed Health Class~

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When was the last time I wanted to get out of bed, not needed, not have to, not a challenge, no I only wanted to get up and live… is it too early for Christmas and can I be a kid again and go back to school. I Missed Health Class.

Saturday, April 7, 2018

Lesson 280 ~I Missed Health Class~

Hey Lady Luna,
I Am Not Fine Today because I missed health class, not all of it but probably more than Sex Ed, only this is America, so most kids missed that conversation, to be honest. What I mean there are plenty of things about health that I should have learned being an African-American and all. Personally, I never dreamed I’d get out of my teens and with diet, a brain only a zombie could love, the cops, let’s say things aren’t looking that good.

You may be wondering what brought all this up; maybe it’s the fact that I have wasted yet one more day of my life in bed. Except for walking my dog and nature’s call, I’ve been down for the count. What honestly baffles me is the concept that I have held my day job for almost seven years and in all that time, I’ve been late once, and I’ve called out once, been too sick to stay one time, and left early maybe twice. One of those times was for another job, and the other was for my writing career, and yet I’m not writing today, am I Lady Lu?

I wasn’t learning how to survive on Pop-Tarts and toast, maybe pizza and Rotisserie Chicken every night, am I complaining about food and money right now? Lady Lu they don’t talk about when you’re so depressed that your body follows suit and you’re weighed down by something as light as a blanket. How about cold, the weather has been like something out of “1408” hot, wet, frozen, wasteland but every work day I go out into that, and it’s killing me, but I have a billion excuses as to why I can’t do for me.

Speaking of killing, I haven’t had a run-in with the law for the longest time but from searching on Motherless.com to my Pinterest boards being knocked out, to Facebook collecting intel I could face arrest for a great many things. Am I still hung up on the Pinterest thing… tell that to the hundred or so episodes of General Hospital I have yet to watch and just might give up.

Health Class wants to teach you to stay strong and not just lie on your back which goes right back into how come there’s no sexual education at most schools. I’ll tell you what I haven’t learned today, how to deal with an ever-growing weakness pervading my body but hey Lu I Missed Health Class.

“There is only one rule that binds all people. One governing principle that defines every relationship on God’s green earth: The weak are meat, and the strong do eat.” Dr. Henry Goose, Cloud Atlas (2012)

I Will Have No Fear

Lesson 274 ~Truest Sentence You Know~

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A start but life gets in the way or in keeping one promise I might have to break another and that doesn’t sound right at all, just like over three thousand words isn’t the same as five thousand and what about tomorrow. “Truest Sentence You Know”

Sunday, April 1, 2018

Lesson 274 ~Truest Sentence You Know~

To Will:
I Am Not Fine Today will not do, even if it is the “truest” sentence for the moment and indeed that is no way to start a novel, no way to start a life, and both need to start today, right now. Again you are starting late today but if yesterday I could pull off five thousand words you can do the same thing and “Indiana Gone” has faith in you but talk about trust being sorely misplaced.

“Faith,” I wonder did they know that the Bible would take off the way it did; I suppose that’s more of a question for Lady Sophia. Hell, today should be all about Jesus, watching more “Far Cry 5,” do you remember the days of watching “The Ten Commandments” with the family. Talk about being greatly written but more importantly are your stories, maybe we should start thinking of them as goals that you wish to create and for those you will need more than a pen and a pad as Dr. Dre put it. Only isn’t that how it begins, with a pen and a pad, to nickels and dimes, to more paper and speaking of paper how about those six impossible things written down:

1. I Will Keep It In My Pants (Day 015 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
Completed (Day 022 No Fap)
2. I Will Be The Friend My Dog Deserves
Completed
3. I Will Survive Inventory Tomorrow
Completed
4. I Will Finish Reading “Galahad Suns”
Completed
5. I Will Review Pacific Rim: Uprising
Completed
6. I Will “Get Out” Of This House Once
Completed

Now I feel like you should try harder, though it came down to the wire, I just finished writing the Pacific Rim: Uprising review yesterday and posting it, and I drove to Starbucks through a storm, and I didn’t have to, a test of courage. Isn’t writing something you know is going to suck a test of courage, you should probably think up a rule to stop putting yourself down if one does not already exist. That right there is the thing, you know the story that you WILL start today all that you need now is to get it out of you and stop making up a million excuses.

To be honest, though I know you’re at a lost for the next six impossible things though I can think of three right off the bat; another great story, The Walking Dead though I’ll share my disdain for Scott Gimple as well. Speaking of writers, I even did “Cherry” a solid reviewing her work, but it always comes back to me and now you, too busy trying to understand other people’s work what about yours, let’s start six impossible things:

1. I Will Keep It In My Pants (Day 022 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
2. I Will Be The Friend My Dog Deserves
3. I Will Not “Beg,” ”Cherry or Okay”
4. I Will Complete 50% of “VLAD”
5. I Will Start My New Book Today
6. I Will “Get Out” Of This House Other Than Shopping

So you know what you have to do, the ideas are already beginning to flow all you need do now is write them out, find the Truest Sentence You Know.

I Will Have No Fear

Lesson 273 ~Tell Me A Story~

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Today has been one productive day, I didn’t tell a story but a few reviews down and tomorrow the real work begins, and that’s when I will have to live up to these words, this promise I suppose. Tell Me A Story, soon and not soon enough

Saturday, March 31, 2018

Lesson 273 ~Tell Me A Story~

Hey Lady Lu,
I Am Not Fine Today but I prefer you not tell me a joke now and especially not tomorrow, and maybe it’s fate that I start writing my next novel tomorrow as the Christians will be all joy and rapture at what they say is “The Greatest Story Ever Told.” Hell how many people go to bed at night hoping that they never have to wake up, even Jesus didn’t make it through his thirties just saying.

Tell me an excuse and yes I’m going on and on about the Pinterest thing; the Internet is sort of like my medication, and I need the right balance of things to keep me centered if that makes any sense. I think I’m starting to understand the rage and the fear of the sound of silence, shouldn’t I know by now no one’s listening to me; it’s one thing when you see your world and they can’t but when your world hides from you… Losing an account has only happened once with Yahoo, but what have I said about defending your one inch of nothing?

Tell me is that why I write about sex all the time, I’m sure many would agree or was I the only one who found the one-inch thing dirty, like Big Ten Inch, or twelve steps. Honestly, I’m not in the mood. It doesn’t matter if I’m in the mood or not because tomorrow I will be writing, yes I need to repeat those words over and over, make them my mantra but it’s like I’m just hitting a brick wall. Hard as a rock honestly, I know, I’ll stop it, but I’m in a rush for no particular reason other than my made-up time constraints, and maybe I should turn my phone off, maybe?

Tell me something good, but before that, I’ll probably be stuck saying something stupid like I love you… what I tell the dog I love him every day, and I reveal to that girl “Cherry” other things, but I’m getting better with that. Today I should be yelling to the masses *crickets chirping*, *tumbleweed blows through*, okay I should ask myself how I feel about movies and books on the blog, writing something Lady Lu.

Tell me it’s been five thousand words already but no, I got a late start today which means I’ll be missing even more sleep but if I could sleep I’d say Tell Me A Story.

I Will Have No Fear

Lesson 245 ~Excuse My Many Excuses~

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Please excuse me for everything including breathing, taking valuable time from somebody I want to meet only I’m way too busy these days. Sleeping takes a massive toll you know, or maybe the bed is just lumpy, something to fix. Excuse My Many Excuses.

Saturday, March 3, 2018

Lesson 245 ~Excuse My Many Excuses~

Hey Lady Lu,
I Am Not Afraid Anymore because I’m tired, I’m cold, I’m working the day job, responsibilities, expectations, but it could be worse, the opposite of life is death, but here I am looking for a synonym. What’s the purpose of surviving if not to live, sure I can talk about living after my many brushes with death but when is the last time I lived without knowing what it is to die, living without fear of anything?

Indeed, Lady Luna, writing is life, my day job is survival, it’s comparing walking my dog to mowing the lawn, choosing a book and being asked for a review, speaking of which I don’t remember the last time I decided a book for myself. How about winning PCH and getting ten bucks instead of winning the grand prize this morning; is that what made me get it up to work in the front yard only to see the money go to someone else? Do I sound bitter or selfish, I felt such passion for life honestly, and then I have spent the majority of this day right back in bed, oh if the future wife could see me now, I’m still behaving to be sure.

Survival is finding ways to keep my roundabout lust while life would indeed be going out into the world and what’s my excuse there; money, how much have I spent on submissive clothes that I could have spent on going to Starbucks and looking for her. Waiting is just another excuse for cowardice; don’t misunderstand there is a time to wait and a time to move, and somehow I always blame time itself. The more things change, the more they stay the same, all the time I spent making excuses in school for not having my homework instead of you know, actually doing my homework.

People, of course, are my ultimate excuse and while one of my rules is “I Take My Own Lumps” do I mean in bed, is that why I’m always working from here and never feel rested no matter how much I sleep. Well, it looks like I learned something; “Oh K” is right for one thing, but I never make excuses not to talk to you Lady Lu. Which is something, but I’ve had enough of synonyms and explanations as the song goes “say what you need to say” and not Excuse My Many Excuses.

I Will Have No Fear

Lesson 230 ~The Anatomy of Hi~

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One original sentence, I wonder does that count when you write fiction, how about when every word they want is a lie, or how about when you can’t honestly speak at all or do I just hate people that much. “The Anatomy Of Hi,” sorry I can’t write it ha

Friday, February 16, 2018

Lesson 230 ~The Anatomy of Hi~

Hey Lady Sophia,
I Am Not Afraid Anymore or instead my characters aren’t afraid, you should see how they introduce themselves, and then you’ll know why I’m a writer and live vicariously through them all. It still has to be said though I haven’t been doing any writing recently because I’m busy practicing “Hi” in the mirror and that takes so much out of me on every occasion even when I can’t say it at all, I don’t want to.

Yes I know it sounds like a f*ing excuse, so I’m practicing censorship today; yet for a few minutes, unfortunately, I still remember the b*itch I said goodbye too, the man who said much more than hello and think of the man who should have never spoken. Again my characters don’t say hi, in any traditional sense, to me it invites expectation, but they say “hey” is for horses, and what about Sup, Good Morning, lifting my chin by an inch? Hello gives up the element of surprise, though it might make a lot more sense only that’s the thing, Lady Sophia, my writing never does, and that isn’t a prerequisite to do it, so no more excuses am I right, should I start writing?

If anything I’m falling behind as is between movies and books, The Last Jedi, Fifty Shades Freed, Black Panther, Hostage, and nowadays I’m going to have even more time on my hands. Maybe I’m just upset that my last herculean effort against the bastard I worked for went nowhere and in fact, I wrote an email saying that I won’t be pushing any further. What happened to just writing for me you know, I did finish answering a few text, but that’s par for the course, I guess I shouldn’t knock it though, Fifty Shades started out on the phone.

A phone I never answer because the people on the other end don’t say hi, scammers; what about a woman from one of the “ranches” down Nevada way… yeah, that’s money, but I can respect her at least. My characters introduce themselves with deadly viruses, kidnappings, gunfights, and speaking of which I remember when a gun blast woke people up and now it’s just another day as John Legend would say, “In America, In America, I still can’t breathe in America,” or anywhere just saying.

For now, though I should probably get to writing and worry less about Hi unless my stories suddenly turn normal because who knows what would happen if we all did understand The Anatomy Of Hi.

I Will Have No Fear

Lesson 223 ~SORRY, In Capital Letters~

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Not for all the tea in China, see even that makes me feel like I owe an apology, but nobody is getting one unless they have four legs and fit snuggly in my bed or two and some good assets, then I’m sure I’ll know one word. “SORRY, In Capital Letters”

Friday, February 9, 2018

Lesson 223 ~SORRY, In Capital Letters~

“Love means never having to say you’re sorry.” Love Story

Hey Lady Sophia,
I Am Not Afraid Anymore, talk about job security, I never love anybody so that’s why I am perpetually in business and what about that account for my day job? Something I’m going to have to confess to Inspector Echo. My how I hate wasting words, a genocide of thought and I love writing and for that I’ll repeat it, I’m sorry.

Ironically probably my grandest love at the moment which of course is my dog, can’t read and as much as he tilts his cute little head, he doesn’t understand the word. In truth with all of my writing starting from my name to this moment I’m still trying to understand anything and everything. It might explain my depression and why I haven’t been writing because no one wants to comprehend not even me and as much as I wish I could say I’m beyond description, I’m not worth it sometimes.

“Shut up or die…” Pontypool

If anything Lady Sophia that’s been the lesson for this whole godawful week, shut up or become one of them, the infected cretins always just vomiting out whatever is right at the time. Fine, okay, happy, here’s something else I would never say, Trump is a genius, he may be a moron and say some horrible things but the thing about it is, he doesn’t give a rat’s ass what he says. He never says he’s sorry but what does that mean, how does Trump feel about the American people, if he can scream his thoughts to the world “honestly.”

You know something, I think Love Story (1970) has it wrong, love means always having to say you’re sorry, again I’m forever apologizing to the dog, but I didn’t say it at work. I don’t say it to my family, hell I know a woman that loves me, but I don’t tell her I’m sorry. Talk about being a hypocrite; I started this thinking I’m always offering up apologies but other than to my dog who else is there, me and of course Inspector Echo.

My lack of writing might mean that I finally don’t love myself to try and save myself anymore with my words, but that won’t do at all will it? Would it help if I told you I’m sorry, would it help if I wrote it down a hundred times just like I Will Have No Fear, what will it take for me to listen, listen, hear, and understand this one word SORRY, In Capital Letters?

I Will Have No Fear

Lesson 216 ~Beautiful From A Distance~

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For once I look to the future with hope instead of dread, no my dear Lady Sophia all the terror lies here in my words, no wonder I write for others and not for myself after will be more beautiful than now, I think Beautiful From A Distance.

Friday, February 2, 2018

Lesson 216 ~Beautiful From A Distance~

“I just like admiring pretty things from a distance” ― Benji, Alone Together Pop-up (2018)

Hey Lady Sophia,
I Am Not Afraid Anymore; everything is so far off in the distance that you lose all fear of it, editing my book, editing my statement for human resources, or even writing something for Publishers Clearing House. To be fair PCH probably has better odds than the first two, and speaking of people I feel like I owe, don’t I need to write a book review as well, today’s the day right?

A whole month has passed, and I haven’t even looked at my finish novel yet for NaNoWriMo, though I can’t say I’m any more excited that I was when I first finished it. There is also all my procrastination; I swear if I could write excuses for a living I would be in the money, what was it this morning, I felt sick, I have to write a statement to human resources about not writing a full account. Screw PCH but didn’t I tell an author that I finished reading their work and that means one more review, I gave my word, ha my word.

I have fifty thousand words ready to roll, and instead I write about somebody else, isn’t that the story of my life, I don’t have one word for myself because I have so many people speaking for me, the man in the mirror. Lady Sophia, I dream of the man in the distance, the rich man, the wealthy man, the brave one, the guy that won’t be alone, think something like Eli Stone Live Brave. Think of this though, stars are beautiful, but they are just explosions, I’m sure some people believe bombs are awesome until they are pointed at you and falling straight down?

I see success in the distance but in my face is nothing more than a bunch of garbled words, and there goes justice, but I could get a pink slip tomorrow; what about when I was playing PCH every day, and they came here and gave the grand prize to somebody else. For now, I have one more author doing what I have already done, but she’s making money and again my curse to help other people I’m just a regular Darth Plagueis, just saying.

So when will I start writing for myself again, a better question, when will I start writing and getting paid, it’s not like it hasn’t happened? As Bill Cosby put it, “you pick” but then again is he somebody I want to take advice from these days then still I’m a reviewer, and my words look Beautiful From A Distance.

I Will Have No Fear

Lesson 167 ~Can Robots Write Stories~

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Robots telling my stories might be a million times better than not finishing and letting people get a hold of it, hell people might never get a hold of it in the traditional sense, since I’m so lazy in writing these days. Can Robots Tell Stories

Friday, December 15, 2017

Lesson 167 ~Can Robots Write Stories~

Hey Lady Sophia,
No Fear, I bleed plenty both on the page and the real deal, and before coming to meet you something else was as hard as steel though I kept the logic not to do anything… okay, so I could be a robot. A pervert, a depraved lunatic, a porn snob but I don’t feel like a robot because I would honestly be on time for something other than The Last Jedi movie.

How much time it must have taken to write such a tale, not to mention the similar histories, theories, what if motifs, I could go on and on and then again maybe not because I have been asleep most of the day. How about the fact that my brand of storytelling or perhaps my inspiration is going to be a high price to pay, considering all this Net Neutrality foolishness that has become so suffused with everyday life. Can I be blamed for not taking my work to print at this time as this Lady Sophia, another excuse I think?

Just like my lack of energy, if only I could run off sunlight. I sleep so many days away without a second thought or a third, not even a fourth. Still, I hear my story echoing in my mind like some incredible “Force.” If I hadn’t mentioned it before, like all this week I went to see Star Wars: The Last Jedi, spoiler alert, can you say love triangle? Not me, I’m too busy building brothels in my dreams, and I thought this whole, “kick” that I’m on was supposed to give a person more energy, at this rate why am I saving that last 5-hour ENERGY, I need help.

No, I need to stop claiming myself to be this Marquis de Sade aficionado, concerned citizen of the world, how about lazy as and just write. Even at work when I told my boss I couldn’t stay later I did so, and for what, I remembered “you put your hand on the plow, you finish the row” but what the hell does that mean to my ambitions and my dreams?

How about the tales dead men tell or don’t for that matter and neither do sleepy, lazy ones, flesh and bone should beat metal, but by the time I ever finish, Can Robots Tell Stories.

I Will Have No Fear

Lesson 161 ~Hurry Up And Wait~

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What are you waiting, she’s not coming to me anytime soon, neither are millions upon millions of dollars or a legion of adoring fans for a book signing as of late. Hurry Up And Wait, NaNoWriMo was last month, and I think I’ve relaxed enough

Saturday, December 9, 2017

Lesson 161 ~Hurry Up And Wait~

Hey Lady Lu,
No Fear, age is nothing but a number but that number is getting bigger and bigger, and you know some people say to think of it as leveling up but what happens when you level up in a video game? How many times have I just wanted this game to end, not that I’m retaking the suicidal route contrary to popular opinion, hell as if that view is worried about me honestly?

Take a few days ago, my general manager is concerned about me, how I felt like I was right back in school; “It’s Times Like These” I find out how rational a person I am. You see he’s more worried about himself and the rest than my mental health, getting over whatever possible affliction I have going on at the moment. You know me, Luna, I have a million excuses, which again shows why I’m so late talking to you another time, today should have been better considering no work.

That’s what I have to get over, work and that means I should be writing more but instead what have I been doing, what’s today’s excuse… Blue Balls. If anything that is what I’ve been waiting for the longest; to take a page from The Matrix Reloaded vis-à-vis love and of course there is still an opinion, my parents, family, dog, friends, etc. Now, of course, you probably think I’m talking about the love of a woman in a happily ever after sort of way but what comes to mind at this particular moment is loving myself. No, I don’t mean the thirty plus minutes I spent in bed thinking about getting an ice pack for my junk for relief.

Hurry up and wait has only been another excuse, leave that to others but not for me, if you want a car you don’t wait for someone to give you one, you get off your ass and work. You want to eat, it’s the same thing, what about being an aspiring novelist and what about falling in love? No, my dear Luna, this is just a reminder that I have to get up and work and stop thinking about tomorrow, there is no tomorrow, live like there’s no tomorrow, oh yeah that has to be a rule without a doubt.

What I have learned today is even if I can’t keep my head up out there… not yet, I shouldn’t have it down here, just looking at my dick, waiting for a release that I can’t give, no more, I won’t Hurry Up and Wait.

I Will Have No Fear

Lesson 160 ~Give Me One Reason~

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Fame, fortune, they say money can’t buy you love but for all the reasons I might want to try, I’m just tired and who knows what all this snow we bring, a few days to catch up or to do something finally? “Give Me One Reason,” and it’d better be great

Friday, December 8, 2017

Lesson 160 ~Give Me One Reason~

Hey Lady Sophia
No Fear, I could leave if I wanted to, snow and all, to think I almost chickened out because of some inclement weather and if that was for a job I hated and errands I could run later what about my book?

I finished one book and what popped up into my head to stop the editing process nut the book I finished before my 120,000-word dribble. You don’t believe me, I was thinking about spinning the whole virus angle and the reason for the game that they play; forgive me, in my deluded mind I’m still thinking someone is genuinely reading and I don’t want any spoilers getting out. Anyway is that my master plan, to keep two books in a constant state of flux, so I don’t have to edit: I am my own worst enemy when I’m writing right?

Of course, my most common enough excuse is that it’s been a long day and trust me it has been, which leads me back to the weather and almost dying. Indeed that’s yet a reason I do this because what are they going to say about me, I don’t want those lies in either life or death, read my words and perhaps it will be the first time I ever stood up for myself, and I will be lying there. Is that why my work is what it is, that I have to unleash the beast, my beautiful private purge?

With the snow falling all around us and being trapped here by exhaustion, a myriad of plot devices, and with the madness that is me I can’t help but think about “The Shining” or maybe “Misery”? I could just be hearing “Okay” in my head with a never-ending spank bank of others. So do I need to kill the old me, will it take the dog chewing off my legs, leaving me lying here typing away unable to do any of work, hell if I want my porn why not work on my story, other than the fact that my writing, I know it stinks.

That’s always my ultimate excuse to not write though how many reasons, good reasons do I have to carry on? Finish one book and then work on the others, one step at a time, one word at a time but yeah Give Me One Reason?

I Will Have No Fear