Tag: Fear

Gospel 035 ~Will’s Behind The Times~

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Most of my life is spent trying to keep my behind out of the fire. While I’ve accepted the fact that I’m going to Hell, second circle, if anything, I’m still so hot here and not because of the plague. Will’s Behind The Times.

Wednesday, August 5, 2020

Gospel 035 ~Will’s Behind The Times~

Forgive Me Echo,
I AM a Billionaire right now, which means I don’t have to rely on WebMD. For the record, I don’t recommend anyone read WebMD. There’s a reason I now know what Proctitis is. Let’s just say Ranch Wings and Ghost Pepper Sauce, while tasty is not a good combo. You also know Inspector Echo; I am not one for toilet humor. I’m getting it out of the way, at least. As per usual, I get a lot grosser gee I wonder why. By the end of this week, I suppose I’ll be crying about a girl again.

Another one, you say? She broke me. I’ll admit, well no, it was Talin Shields (Blow Slow Talin) that did it. If you look her up, that’s your fault. Anyway, Talin broke my streak, and the new girl broke me last night. I’ve been burning ever since restarting NO FAP and all. I need to be mindful when it comes to my shifts in mood. My Dæmon is being a little badass, and I don’t know why. He didn’t get to sleep in my bed last night, and as we speak, he has his behind on the floor. I can’t explain it but considering I’m out of bed for once. Now I’m still running behind schedule, and you know how I hate being late for anything. It’s not like you’re paying me and speaking of which, what about the things I want to do for a living? I haven’t even looked at “For A Fine, Cherry Spread” since Camp NaNoWriMo.

If you’re looking for something a little more light-hearted? Okay, let’s consider I have a heart how about Starbucks Frappuccino? I had a craving yesterday, so I bought a four-pack, but they’re smaller than the standard bottle. Imagine my surprise and annoyance. Hell, I’m looking for anything to avoid talking about how I stabbed myself in the back. Yeah, I suck at the whole, giving myself a pat on the back. Now you remember MILF Dos, and who doesn’t? I was trying to be kind to her by speaking every day. Well, now we don’t speak at all. So yeah, I have the new girl and what was the phrase that pissed her off. AHEM… Can’t believe you live like this. At least I know why she’s mad at me.

Yes, Echo I’m an ASS, always Will’s Behind The Times.

I Will Have No Fear

Gospel 034 ~Will Hits New Lowe’s~

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Last night, yet again different woman, same situation as in me, saying something I shouldn’t have. My kid and I hate sudden loud noises, but everyone seems to hate anything I have to say. “Will Hits New Lowe’s,” how do I soundproof my life?

Tuesday, August 4, 2020

Gospel 034 ~Will Hits New Lowe’s~

Dear Future Wife,
I AM a Billionaire right now, so we have our home with our own private beach. We also have a house out in the woods with a crystal blue lake out front. Now keeping in mind that I can’t swim. You also know how I am about feet. There’s also the fact that while I don’t hate sand, like Anakin Skywalker/Darth Vader. I only tolerate it… Okay, let me start over because I’m putting my foot in my mouth. Let’s talk about something like household repair, hmm.

Yeah, what would I know about that? I’m only looking to make noise, I guess. Much like my writing, I’m more about looking the part. I need a decent pair of work boots because I’m sure I’ll do a lot of stomping around, running away. Hell, one will end up in my ass. Excuse my language, Baby Doll, me and my big mouth, and that’s my problem. Last night I talked about never lying to you. There are things I don’t want to tell you. No matter what, though, I always end up hurting you, even texting. Might as well have a clean phone. As the song goes, Love Is An Open Door, yet I need more of them and locks. What, am I trying to find someplace to hide from you Love? Like the horror movies I love, the monster gets the girl or the hero, and I’m not sure which I am on any given day. I’m trying to build us a home.

One more reason I’m a billionaire, so I can pay someone else to do it. I’m sure I could use a paintbrush only don’t hold me to that. Christian Grey’s playroom shone red, but with ours, I want to “Paint It, Black.” The only time I don’t worry about words, albeit a safeword. You know how “chains and whips excite me” well, us isn’t that right, Baby Girl. The things I want to learn for both of us. I can’t change a tire; I know a little bit about changing the oil. I’m nobody when it comes to plumbing… in a house. I love my firstborn like pancakes, but I couldn’t build a doghouse. I’m no farmer, but with things as of now, I’m going to have to learn more than growing black roses too.

Not avoiding you Love but talking Will Hits New Lowe’s.

I Will Have No Fear

Gospel 033 ~Women Always Find The Truth~

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If I lie, she’ll make things up, if I’m honest, she’ll think I’m a million times worse, so yeah, I’m lying. Shall I compare thee to a summer’s day, as THEY say, that wouldn’t be a lie, but wouldn’t I still be hiding facts? Women Always Find The Truth

Monday, August 3, 2020

Gospel 033 ~Women Always Find The Truth~

Hundred And Forty-Eight Rule

Madam Justice,
I AM a Billionaire right now, or I better be if I don’t intend to live mine alone. Does that sound like I don’t have a high opinion of women? Madam Justice, I pay them the highest ideal of all, I tell them the TRUTH. Now, why hasn’t LIE made it to my Most Hated Words list? I know the value of lies, yes. I lie to save my behind. So I’ll lie at the Day Job, to my “father” and even to myself. Hell, I even lie to my Dæmon. He got me singing, “I know, I know, I know.” Like any woman, though, he knows the truth of what I am.

For the longest time, I figured I was scared of women but not for the reason that they may think. I’m shy, I’m an introvert, I suffer from Social Anxiety, take your pick. You want the truth, how about another song, “Everybody knows I’m a motherfucking monster.” Pardon my language Madam Justice, but again I’m only being honest. I can go all-in on a guy only wanting one thing, and that’s true enough. I believe in the primal instinct. On the basic level, men and women come together for one thing, and everything else is born of that, not only children. Only people pretend everything else and for what, to deny themselves? I have seen it firsthand. My words in the hands of someone else and as fast as you can say Tequila Makes Her Clothes Fall Off. So why would I waste time lying?

I respect a woman for her intelligence… at least I try. I’m still thinking about that video I watched on being CREEPY. So I’m supposed to lie my entire life, never take a free breath, be trapped because of the concept of nature vs. nurture? I always take responsibility, but I would work for all the money in the world than kill myself off. I’m not suicidal, but anytime I felt that way, it’s been because of other people. You can’t tell a woman that right off the bat. Neither can I tell her everything I want to do to her. The idea though that I want to fuck her, well, she knows. More to me lies (sigh) Undiscovered. And I know I sound like one of those women-hating freaks, but I love women, and Women Always Find The Truth.

I Will Have No Fear

Gospel 032 ~Will Sees OTHER People~

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As the song goes, He Lives In You, but that means you have to wake up at some point, so what time is it? Hopefully, it’s not midnight by the time you’re posting this as tomorrow you want to see a better man in the mirror. Will Sees Other People.

Sunday, August 2, 2020

Gospel 032 ~Will Sees OTHER People~

To Will:
I AM a Billionaire right now, but did you take your Dæmon for a walk today? Well, I hope you’re proud of yourself, soggy socks and all. One day, you should complain about the sidewalk path. How about, you know, marching with Black Lives Matter or doing anything to help the world? Again be proud that it’s 3:30 in the afternoon, and we’re actually having this conversation. Always the same one about being a better man. Only like I alluded to last night you have to say goodbye to the old one, me.

You have to stop trying to be a spokesmodel for the My Pillow Guy. Not that you would ever buy from him. What I mean is, where are you right now? You’re still in bed, wanting to fall back to sleep. If you’re going to stay awake, well, you know what does that right? So are you getting over Cherry? I mean, she wasn’t your girl or anything. God bless girls that want to show off their Yabbos. Now Fapping is a no go, but at least you’re no longer drooling over the possibility of Cherry’s Yabbos. To all of you, American Girls, as the song goes. Who’s thinking about the UK anyway? You’ll never be like Trump, forgetting all the world, but are you going to do something this week to help your country? Will you become a black man of substance, of worth, start with Six Impossible Things:

  1. I AM Keeping It In My Pants (Day 028 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
    Completed (Day 034 No Fap)
  2. I AM Always The “Father” My Dæmon Deserves
    Failed
  3. I AM Sending Gulp Off To Be Published
    Failed
  4. I AM Reviewing Raphael By Tillie Cole
    Failed
  5. I AM Going To Complete My Novel For Camp NaNoWriMo On Monday
    Completed
  6. I AM Finishing Too Late, by Colleen Hoover
    Failed

Well, as you can see, I didn’t but two out of six. As you look on, that’s why I’m proud of you already. You’re going to see more of the man in the mirror, and you’re not going to look away. I want you to stand eye to eye with him and, once again, my sin, have PRIDE. Don’t be the man that chased Cherry away or MILF Dos. A girl saw enough in you and in me to share her body in a photograph. Yet you stand afraid that she’s playing you or that something will happen. You know that old saying of being a great man, be a man and let history judge. Don’t ever forget your son because you are his father. You chose him, and he deserves so much better from you. Your Six Impossible Things:

  1. I AM Keeping It In My Pants (Day 034 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
  2. I AM Always The “Father” My Dæmon Deserves
  3. I AM Sending Gulp Off To Be Published
  4. I AM Reviewing Raphael By Tillie Cole
  5. I AM Going To Bed Before Midnight
  6. I AM Finishing Too Late, by Colleen Hoover

The old you is gone. It’s like you refuse to see Will Sees OTHER People.

I Will Have No Fear

Gospel 031 ~I’m One Will Away~

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Another week has come to pass, and I’m still not going to bed at a decent hour. I know the way, but I don’t have the will to work and hell wasn’t I doing the Day Job this week and 5000 words the last one. I’m One Will Away, from going crazy

Saturday, August 1, 2020

Gospel 031 ~I’m One Will Away~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Billionaire right now, but do I have the will to stay there? Lady Lu, there’s what you have to do, what you could do, and what you want to do. As the saying goes, you know, will meet the way and all. My motivations ask, what do you want?

I have no passion for the Day Job, but I find the will to get out of bed and go. Tonight I’ll say, has been pretty decent and then my “father” called. Do I call it will or fear the reason I answered it? All the money I need to be saving and yet here I go again staying out longer. People talk about being an adult is all about making these choices. You do what must get done. Again my motivations say, if you do what’s easy, life is hard. If you do what’s hard, life will be easy. So that demands the question, what am I complaining about. Yeah, I hate the Day Job, but when I know where I stand with it… With my “father” hell, that’s accepting the worst-case scenario. For the record, he called me about “Quidditch” duh. I take it he wanted to humiliate me. Of course, staying out to go to McDonald’s is no damn good at all.

Now, what could I be doing tonight other than waiting for this new girl to break me? I could have been finishing Colleen Hoover’s book. What about emptying out my exploding email? I could try getting to bed at a decent hour, which already isn’t happening. No, I spent most of today sleeping, and if not, that I’ve been hard. I could have walked My Dæmon. I swear the boy is being quite the little trooper. Next week will be easy, but do I have the will to do what is hard dear Lady Lu.

You know what I want to do. I want to write books full time. One day I want to own a cathouse. I want women begging me to see them naked. One more reason tonight has been “excellent.” Still, I want my hands on my keyboard and not in my pants. I’ll even settle on my zombies, finally coming to fruition. For this to happen, all these wills have to go. The Settler, Mr. I Don’t Feel Like It, the Wisher. I’m One Will Away.

I Will Have No Fear

Gospel 030 ~Will He Creep, Yeah~

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To be honest, this turned out darker, more disturbing, and disgusting than I intended. Still, when I’m not learning from books either mine or others, there’s always Youtube, and thus this morning really sucked. Will He Creep, Yeah

Friday, July 31, 2020

Gospel 030 ~Will He Creep, Yeah~

Hey Lady Sophia,
I AM a Billionaire right now, only as the song goes, “but I’m a creep.” So is that why I can’t finish Too Late By Colleen Hoover? Might it hit too close to home? That’s fair enough, Lady Sophia, but I didn’t need Youtube to point out that this morning. The Law Of Attraction being is something else, I didn’t have to watch the video. I suppose I needed a refresher after finishing writing “For A Fine, Cherry Spread.” The creeps in my last novel or not.

This is much worse than I would like it to be. Let’s start off by defining Creep somewhat. To move slowly along the ground, to be timid or cautious. An insult to someone who’s personality or overall behavior is strange or weird. An undesirable man making females feel uncomfortable. Causing a strong emotion of disgust towards that individual. Thank Urban Dictionary and Others Um, like the word Skeevy, this one is going on the list. Yet unlike President Trump, I won’t deny reality ever. Yeah, with some edits… As for that video I watched this morning, the creator said that being creepy is being quiet too. What am I to say about all this, Lady Sophia? You’re not Inspector Echo, and I don’t think I even told her that I’m sorry on Wednesday. Thing is like with Pinterest, Okay, MILF Dos, and the whole gang, what was the last straw?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1Qe4EKcWt6Y

Hell, when I put Cherry front and center in two of my books and the Basic Bitch SIGH. She was the main villain in my series, now that I understand. You should have heard me chatting up a storm with M Anime, but she hasn’t gone running… yet. If there’s one thing I know, it’s with enough money a man can say what he wants. Take my male characters. Bastian owns a “cathouse,” his father, his Old Man “Win William Bridgman” has a Cathedral. In other stories, I have tech giants, gunrunners, beasts that kill for the crowd. Some Photographers are taking advantage of models as well. The beat goes on. Would you call them creeps? Well, the tech giant does sleep with an android who is remarkably similar to sweet Alexa Bliss. I’ve spoken sometimes of accusations of being a stalker. Someone famous said, ain’t nobody got time for that. Yeah, says the man with Tifa Lockhart’s “Mature Dress.”

I’m not down but facing facts, slowly looking in the mirror. Will He Creep, Yeah.

To Will’s Most Hated Words: (Now Featuring Creepy)

  1. Stupid
  2. Skeevy
  3. Fear
  4. Anxiety
  5. Creepy
  6. Merge
  7. Happy
  8. Family-Friendly
  9. Just Kidding
  10. Tease
  11. Freak
  12. Lazy
  13. Sucks

I Will Have No Fear

Gospel 029 ~When Will Finds Pieces~

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As the song goes, don’t know what you got till it’s gone. Is that what “PMO” is to me? It’s been nearly a whole month, not that I’m missing the “P” part but MO are driving me up the wall. Give me some peace or a piece. When Will Finds Peace

Thursday, July 30, 2020

Gospel 029 ~When Will Finds Pieces~

WARNING, 18+, READER DISCRETION ADVISED

Come In Dirty Diana,
I AM a Billionaire right now, but there is still no peace to be found. As always, I remain greedy as all Hell. There’s always more girls to love or more girl to love. Only it is not this day Dirty Diana. Now before I get all into “sexy time,” I’m 32 Days into NO FAP.

Yesterday I was all into Yabbos, Tits, Dirty Pillows um Dirty Mom Tits, and yes, I still miss MILF Dos. The fact is, these days I’m noticing every part of a girl. Usually, I’m one for the whole package, and isn’t that how it should be? Still going this long… hell, it’s like I’m appreciating every bit of a girl. I was even looking at Cherry’s nail polish, and all I have been thinking about are hand-jobs and cumming on a pretty face. I don’t know why I thought this up, but my mind pulled Jaime Pressly out from that movie Ringmaster. It could have been from DOA: Dead or Alive. Dirty Diana, I can’t quite put my finger on it, other than the fact she was with black guys in both. Make no mistake Dirty Diana. I will always be a breast man. It is sweet, albeit infuriating when you have so many places you want to cum, though.

Which brings me to Momokun. Yes, I want to fuck her, but nine out of ten, she is reminding me of Cherry. I would tell you who MILF Dos reminds me of, but do I really want that exposure? Anyway, bigger is better, or so THEY say. The strange thing is, every submissive outfit I buy is for someone, Tifa Lockhart’s, Aerith Gainsborough’s, Cindy Aurum’s size. Yes, I’ve been lost in Final Fantasy Porn again even tonight. However, maybe I do that because I really want to see Cherry’s Yabbos, so why bother buying clothes?

Because it brings me peace? I’ve often brought up Dark Notes and how Emeric Marceaux bought stuff for Ivory when he couldn’t have her. Rainey Summer Day drove a plethora of men crazy. Again someone said that a girl should make your dick hard and not your life. M Anime has undoubtedly been doing that when it comes to my dick at least. Mention sex and see how quickly a man will respond… my afternoon.

So many pieces big and small… When Will Finds Pieces.

I Will Have No Fear

Gospel 028 ~There’s Yabbos Then Will~

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Is it an insult to talk about Yabbos, I mean sure I could say something about eyes and I would kill for a girl to tell me I’m brilliant or I have an enormous… what you’ve never heard of Da Vinci’s Notebook, ha. There’s Yabbos Then Will

Wednesday, July 29, 2020

Gospel 028 ~There’s Yabbos Then Will~

Forgive Me Echo,
I AM a Billionaire right now, and I’m not STUPID. Inspector Echo, I am sorry about using that word. STUPID is the ugliest word that I know next to SKEEVY. Now no doubt, I’m SKEEVY Inspector Echo, and I wish I could go more into that subject. Tonight I wanted to talk about how I’m enjoying the plague era. Yes, I’m still waiting on zombies, but no, I’m not celebrating death. All my motivations and self-help pretty much say the following, you reap what you sow. I predicted this week would be Hell, so here we go.

Let’s start with the obvious Inspector Echo. I LOVE YABBOS. Somehow not all Yabbos. There are those that I like a lot. The ones that get me are those I feel somewhat of an attachment to. While I was at the Day Job for what sin I have yet to suss out, I started thinking about what else Yabbos. Do you know how much cash I’ve spent on Yabbos over a year? Yabbos that I’ve never seen. Wanted to see more of, will never see. $450, that’s between Alice Little, some bitch that scammed me, and MILF Dos. Yet every day, it’s a struggle of offering $500 to see either MILF Dos’s or Cherry’s Yabbos. Hell, how much have I spent on Yabbos that delivered? I have no idea Inspector but Is It A Crime Sade. I use to think paying for porn was when it’s freaking free everywhere always.

Now I respect artists. Now don’t laugh Inspector Echo but I respect women too. Only I don’t respect myself, which brings me to the second part of today. The worst part about me is not that I’m afraid all the time. What Hurts The Most (thank you Rascal Flatts) is this. I don’t want to be STUPID. Have you ever napped so good that you forget what day it is, what time and everything in-between? Yeah, I wasted another three hours of my life sleeping and when I woke up well… I saw the soft light outside, saw the time and thought I was late to the Day Job. The workplace I hate where I’m treated like the STUPIDEST person in all creation, I mustn’t be late for that. Who am I kidding, I’m pissed I wasted 500 Diamonds on what else Valkyrie’s Yabbos ha.

Yep, There’s Yabbos Then Will.

I Will Have No Fear

Gospel 027 ~Will Manages Mattress Madness~

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Are you going to ask me up, does a lady have to ask twice, I swear for Charlotte Lewis my behind would have been on the plane to Tibet but as Eddie Murphy asked, is that a bed, so where’s my bed? Will Manages Mattress Madness

Tuesday, July 28, 2020

Gospel 027 ~Will Manages Mattress Madness~

Dear Future Wife,
I AM a Billionaire right now, so does that mean I sleep more or less? Baby Doll I am not the type of man that has to be coerced, enticed, or seduced to end up in bed. I’m like Chandler to Kee; Jim to Aurora or well… better not to name that particular movie duo, but sexy.

Of course, let me start off by saying if you don’t know these characters um, why did we get married? As for that third movie, the words “Take Me To Bed” have never been so (cue Homer Drool). Let’s just say it’s Indigo Prophecy (Lucas and Tiffany) to cover my behind. So is it the fact that I have to hold secrets that are keeping me up nightly? I wish I could say I am contemplating the mysteries of the cosmos. Is it that our bed is so bad? Hell having you by my side would mean I’m buying the best bed ever. I told someone before it’s a lot easier staying up until four in the morning than waking up then and there. Only I have to be better Baby Girl, I know, we got kids, and my firstborn is starting to get annoyed.

Maybe it’s the idea that I am living the dream. Every night I’m lost to my writing, not reading mind you. Editing is the worst part of the game, even after a successful Camp NaNoWriMo run. The ideas keep pouring in for more stories and more scenes. A man that lives his life in bedrooms sometimes and you know I don’t mean it like that. It’s more like I forget to sleep. Only then, when I do get to bed, then what. You’re not helping to look at me like that. I’m living the dream. Who has time to sleep?

I remember the Day Job and walking around like a zombie. If someone is going to say, I look tired. It might as well be because I’m doing something I love. Not working my fingers to the bone and passing out. Only to regret three hours of missed opportunities. I shouldn’t be taking anything to bed, other than you, a happy puppy, and a clear head. Clear Eyes, Full Bra, Can’t Lose… yeah, no binge-watching Wynonna Earp I know. My motivations say it never ends, becoming a champion or loving someone. Will Manages Mattress Madness.

I Will Have No Fear

Gospel 026 ~Don’t Underestimate Your Own Insignificance~

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Do you matter, if I asked the Day Job, I’m nowhere near ESSENTIAL, I know plenty of women who think I’m the worst thing for asking, “how are you?” I look at myself in the mirror, I should go back to bed. “Don’t Underestimate Your Own Insignificance.”

Monday, July 27, 2020

Gospel 026 ~Don’t Underestimate Your Own Insignificance~

Hundred And Forty-Seven Rule

Madam Justice,
I AM a Billionaire right now, but how many others can I name besides Mark Zuckerberg and Jeff Bezos? It feels good to get down to brass tacks once again because I finished my book this morning. I’ve said it before, and I’ll repeat it… a book that no one will ever discover. Hell, I even set it up for a trilogy. Possibly with that UK blonde, I was talking about last night and Reagan Kathryn. I’m one in a million men that want to well… I think I have written enough sex talk for a while, or have I? I’m kidding, hmm?

Only this afternoon, while I was contemplating going to the store, I saw a picture of Momokun. It was one of her lewdest, and I wanted to say something about her lips. Now, this brings me to my point today. If I had said something like that, she would have blocked me, deleted me, something. How many messages, though, do you think she gets like that? You know one of my favorite tunes is The Man by Aloe Blacc. I’m not anyone exceptional, Madam Justice, and I know this goes against all my motivations, but I’m nobody. You know I’m always saying I want to be a better man, but most people see me is either the ant or the monster. I’m either not worth looking at. A sign of things to come, or I’m the worst thing to happen.

So I get used to being nothing, I accept it. Then it’s like I tell a girl she’s pretty and wham, bam, damn. Don’t get me wrong I know I’ve gone overboard with many a girl, I take responsibility. Look at something like OnlyFans, though. I’m again a number in the heard if I ignore a girl, so what. If I give them attention, I’m usually paying for it. You peek at any of my social accounts, and I am a pervert extraordinaire. Then again, who is paying attention to me? I go back and forth even here, Madam Justice. I can’t tell you everything because the moment that I do as the song goes, sigh, I’m a Bad Man.

Where’s the middle ground ever? How can I be someone who exists without being someone everybody will hate or fear? It’s easier to be nobody. So why am I writing?

Such are delusions of grandeur… Don’t Underestimate Your Own Insignificance.

I Will Have No Fear