Tale 073 ~Hi Sugar, B, V~

“Suga, Suga, how you get so fly?” And how come I’m not always high with your beautiful smile, bright eyes, and big… Anyway, I’m always in the dirt looking for my boy. Well, looking at his box on the nightstand. And with a 39th E-Day. “Hi Sugar, B, V”

Tuesday, September 12, 2023

Tale 073 ~Hi Sugar, B, V~

Dear Future Wife,
I AM a Billionaire right now, but how did I do it? Sleepless nights? A sugar high? And… uh… SEX, SEX, SEX!

Yeah, damn, my critic who didn’t talk to me today. Are you becoming “The Time Traveler’s Wife?” Today is Saturday, September 9, 2023. And I’m on a sugar rush, hmm? You can also thank the likes of Himawari wa Yoru ni Saku, specifically Hisato Azuma. That sex talk comes from her. Relax, my love, it’s all part of this existence. Am I in a better mood than I was during E-Day week? The second worst week of existence? Done! But really? My firstborn son is still dead. Not a day goes by when I don’t think about my little Braxton not being here. As a matter of fact, I’ll have to get up soon to cut the grass. Aren’t we rich? Fresh air. To think…

Once upon a time, I got high off nature. That’s what today is all about —not raising my spirits. And more to the point, staying awake. But if anything, I MUST get out of bed. Mission Accomplished! But today is now Sunday, September 10, 2023. And I did cut the grass yesterday. And while I believe that pain wakes me one hundred percent. Thank you, Divergent. Being all itchy doesn’t help. All the bug bites in the world, my love. Yesterday, I still went out like a light. That’s why we’re talking today. Not Saturday. Really, “Sweet Love?” It’s more like sweet blood. Mosquitos seem to think so, my love. And speaking of love, isn’t that what gets you up? Love for them and me.

Do I sound like some Neanderthal who thinks “A Woman’s Place” should be about her husband and children? I saw that video the other day from Julia Mazur about singlehood. It’s a miracle you haven’t left me yet, and why? Depression, sadness, mourning 954 Days. Honest to God, my love, “I get high, high, high.” Or I did because of Braxton. And so I’m singing and ignoring my critic, “I’d never leave my block, my niggas need me.” I’m here. I stand, I’m sweet, I’m a damn superhero because of our children, four and two-legged. Sexual Healing? And I have my incredibly sexy wife. You’re my sugar, keeping me up. Hell! My life’s blood is my business. But my firstborn’s higher… Hi Sugar, B, V

954 Days Without B III, Day 395 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Tale 066 ~I’ll B Home Virgil~

I’m unsure of the day my Braxton entered the world, so I gave him one. But the day he left it… It was the worst day ever. Second is the day I came into the world. And being unfortunate enough to stay 39 years… I’ll B Home Virgil.

Tuesday, September 5, 2023

Tale 066 ~I’ll B Home Virgil~

Dear Future Wife,
I AM a Billionaire right now, but like when I was in the womb, I haven’t planned on leaving here anytime soon.

I’m glad it’s not E-Day yet. And the kids are at school. There’s also the fact that I’m time-traveling. It’s Sunday, September 3, 2023, at this particular moment. I’m thirty-eight. Today, that’s about 14,240 days. Looking at that makes me want to “Scream?” “Tonight I Wanna Cry.” Looking at the “Man In The Mirror,” I tell him that you “Make Me Wanna Die.” Am I making my playlist for E-Day, or what? Hell! I even yearn for B III’s passing. No! Not like that. I was a horrible “human being” when it came to the life of B III. Emergence, Existence, Extinction Day, though, is all about me. And first and foremost, I want to stay here, home. And I don’t have that luxury anymore.

I know I’m being like a heartless so-and-so. Oh Love! I want to say bad words. But there’s you, the kids, Virgil… the critic. Ha! And today, second only to B III’s passing away (sigh.) Soy un perdedor. I swear my critic is making me better with languages. While Japanese seems to be a no-go. You know words like “Security Guard.” Maybe Spanish works better? English though? If I could say what I want from this horrific day. Always and everything. That would be my son back. Love to this very moment, I’m neither in Denial nor would I claim Acceptance. I know the truth. Braxton Barks Bradford died. And if I had my way… “If I had my way, then surely you would be closer,” you sing to me.

I’ll be here to listen. I’ll learn how to dance. And to be quite honest, um, I “Feel Like Making Love.” After everything I’ve said today, what are the odds of that? Do I want to play Han Solo? Hell! We could have a movie night right here because, again, to go outside and do… what? My Ma took me to a restaurant once where they sang Happy… Oh No! But yes, I will be polite to our children. Is it sad? I have to say that. Virgil’s living here. From womb to tomb, we are bound to others, as Somni 451 said. Unfortunately leaving… That led me here. But I love you, our kids. Me? I’ll B Home Virgil

947 Days Without B III, Day 388 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Tale 059 ~ It’ll B Fun, Virgil~

I woke up this morning… and? Do I want a prize, a medal, even another breath. Well, I don’t want that breath for me. If I had my way, um, besides the things I want to do to my wife or to have another cry over my dog, no, my son. Existing. It’ll B Fun, Virgil

Tuesday, August 29, 2023

Tale 059 ~ It’ll B Fun, Virgil~

Dear Future Wife,
I AM a Billionaire right now, so we’re supposed to be having fun. Most holidays work that way. Even the most solemn…

Not that E-Day in any way, shape, or form is a holiday. Before 2021, I would have called it the worst day of my Existence. Emergence, Existence, Extinction. Time-Traveling Love. Today is Saturday, August 26, 2023. But you know what day I remain trapped within. Sunday, January 31, 2021, is the new worst day. The day I lost my firstborn son, the prince, pup, and pancake known as Braxton. Then again, I would rather have that day than E-Day. At least then, I wouldn’t be a selfish so-and-so. Psychiatric help, my critic said. If I could only remember the day that Braxton hopped in the car. Or when we were “placed” in our first house. The day he jumped into my arms. That is Love.

Those were causes for celebration. But now I look at the days ahead of me… Well, if anything, if you knew how far along I was talking to you… I mean, for real. Turning thirty-nine. It’s not the least bit funny. But I’m supposed to have fun. It’s more for everyone else, though, I’m afraid to say. I’ve been listening to these meditations on loneliness. I have you, I know. And I won’t dare compare myself to Will Traynor in “Me Before You.” And yet. Paralyzed. Every day, my Love. I keep moving, and at the same time, I’m trapped. Braxton’s still lying in his bed on that table, and I’m holding him, and then you go all Jurassic Park, Love. Life finds a way.

Love will find a way. I have the day we met. Better, the day that I made you my wife. There’s the day I figured I would try being a father again. I look at V and still sigh. I have to question what at all I was thinking. Was/Is it Braxton? He’d know better than to mention E-Day, but yeah… “Daddy, pick that one. I can’t make this more black and white.” 2V and his three little black spots. Comedy comes in 3’s, I heard before, my Love. And how many two-legged kids do we have around here? They want their Daddy happy. It’s not like they’ll pay me half a million for an E-Day I don’t want. You say… It’ll B Fun, Virgil

940 Days Without B III, Day 381 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will