Tag: Lesson

Lesson 288 ~Getting Our Hands Dirty~

WillLeave a comment

With these two hands I will make me a world, but God took seven days, I think a month will do for me and how many authors did “The Bible” have again, though tonight I’m going to watch other people make a mess. Getting Your Hands Dirty.

Sunday, April 15, 2018

Lesson 288 ~Getting Our Hands Dirty~

To Will:
I Am Not Fine Today, and neither is the dog on account of the rain, missing his outside time amongst other things, but the perfect excuse to stay inside and get your hands dirty don’t you think? You’ve been doing so for days, and certain aspects of your life have been suffering for it, but you’re halfway there; when did everything become about your novel but how about these six impossible things here:

1. I Will Keep It In My Pants (Day 029 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
Completed (Day 036 No Fap)
2. I Will Be The Friend My Dog Deserves
Failed (*Starship Troopers Voice* Bugs)
3. I Will Announce My Book Camp NaNoWriMo
Partial Completion (No Title or Back Cover)
4. I Will Complete 50% of “VLAD.”
Failed
5. I Will Write A Review
Failed
6. I Will “Get Out” Of This House Other Than Shopping Or Movies
Failed

To think once upon a time, you didn’t have to be told to go outside and play, when the girl next door was enough, and you were running away from kisses, or when you would write your poetry with your feet in the lake, ah the embrace of nature. Getting your hands dirty nowadays means what germy mess is on your phone and shall we dive into your files and see all your secrets; there’s no need since you are writing them out every single day in your novel. At least you’re not hugging the toilet throwing up the real trash you are making your body with so much unneeded medication, but what are the six impossible tasks this week:

1. I Will Keep It In My Pants (Day 36 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
2. I Will Be The Friend My Dog Deserves
3. I Will Find Out What My Book Is About
4. I Will Complete 50% of VLAD
5. I Will Post A Review
6. I Will Write My Book

It takes blood, sweat, and tears, so maybe your hands aren’t meant to be clean because now is not the time for crying, as tired as you may be, as frustrated, what about anger, I swear the rage continues. People say there is supposed to be some amount of clarity or a burst of energy you know when you stop “Fapping” but when will that kick in or maybe it explains everything that’s going on in your story. I don’t have any words of encouragement, the last thing you need is anything of comfort, might make you fall asleep on the spot, if anything the madness and the hunger endures but today is going to be a good day, Survival Sunday at the movies right?

You’ve never been one for the glass is half full or half empty, no there’s only the glass and the drink, and it’s time to take your medicine, or maybe just figure out what the hell you’re drinking nowadays. In the end isn’t that what matters, but okay we know your heart, your soul, and mind are just one big insane asylum but you’re trying to fix that aren’t you and what about doctors, clean hands but making money you know Getting Your Hands Dirty.

I Will Have No Fear

Lesson 287 ~Fools and Their Eh~

WillLeave a comment

Oops, I did it again, wasted my time, did my best instead of going out and maybe doing anything else that might honestly help me I mean any fool can write a book right. “Fools And Their Eh,” which I’d be lucky if I got that at all

Saturday, April 14, 2018

Lesson 287 ~Fools and Their Eh~

Hey Lady Lu,
I Am Not Fine Today, best case scenario I’m meh or eh and keeping an eh is a miracle these days but shouldn’t that be what a smile is for, a laugh, or just an honest day’s work. In this movie once, I think they said any fool could make an “A” but keeping it, maintaining it, that was the hard part, along with making it mean something, anything at all.

Maybe I should be talking to Lady Sophia about this, but my work as of late has been eh than A and I’m struggling as to why I even continue with it, even today I only want to hang on to my position with Camp NaNoWriMo. That’s the only top that I can see these days, that fifty-thousand-word total and what does it matter when you’re standing on a mountain of crap? Am I depressed you ask, if I am, I’m bleeding all over the pages which is a good sign don’t you think so Luna?

A which leads to B and I wind up with C, so on and so forth and even if I make it to Z, I would always be looking for the value of X, and I’m as lost now as I was back in those math classes of yesteryear. So what am I trying to say, what do I want to say, and like at work what should I say and that is something I can’t cater to, not anymore, never again though we both know if my “father” walked in here… People must have their A’s no doubt, it gives you value in this world, but no one ever understood I was trying to hang on to that eh most days and what did that get me, I’m Fonzie.

Am I saying I’m cool, am I still speaking of miracles, no I’m saying I get laughed at, I’m believing at some magic time what I am will be acceptable… maybe if we ever get “The First Purge.” Most days, speaking the truth I would like to feel a little bit better than this but I want to write those A’s and dot my I’s and cross my T’s and in the end, doesn’t this make me a fool honestly.

Can I live like this, can I maintain, endure and survive, what is it they say, Fools And Their Eh?

I Will Have No Fear

Lesson 286 ~A “Write” Man’s Job~

WillLeave a comment

I know one word I should write over and over, but that word isn’t polite in present company, though to be honest how many times does it appear in novel… that’s not getting published for real. A Write Man’s Job.

Friday, April 13, 2018

Lesson 286 ~A “Write” Man’s Job~

“This is war! What did you expect, glamor! There are no good choices, only lesser degrees of evil.” The Price

Hey Lady Sophia,
I Am Not Fine Today, looking at things I probably shouldn’t write, is it just me or does that title sound a bit racial to you… if anything that is perhaps the least of my problems as of late. “99 Problems” and my story *sigh* is one, two, hell why not over half but the thing is, at least I’m doing, but then again why am I talking to you first instead of writing, no offense Sophia.

If it isn’t my writing, then it’s all the spoilers, The Walking Dead Finale is Sunday, and so is the start of Fear The Walking Dead and I’m scared for all the wrong reasons I suppose. Now that is something my writing can do, scare people because it’s certain no one will be waiting with bated breath for my work, especially the hot garbage I produced the other day. It’s 18,190 words detailing the life of one wasted human, and yet I write which should tell you something; what that I’m out of options because what else can I do, considering the day job sadly.

Just another bit of writing I’ve done, getting my books in order, I do mean the financial; I burned through my entire budget in less than a half-hour, and I have to pick-up my groceries at Walmart, still trying to save some tie. Speaking of time, what about all the books I am so far behind on, and my girls, the good news is they’re all busy doing but are any of them honestly living the life they want? “Cherry” would spend her life on her back and isn’t that my fictional story, just one big porno flick, maybe that’s why I don’t see more guys doing this, just saying.

I’m sure somebody thinks that the RIGHT man for a job is a woman and in that, I can agree here and there but that doesn’t mean I should stop writing now does it? If I do cease writing, I should stop writing excuses, apologies, words to tear myself down when the world will do that for me, like they haven’t already and isn’t that why I write?

All I have to do is bleed to write, but I’m not dead yet, almost like Morgan Jones “I don’t die” it is my curse to watch others because Lady Sophia this is A Write Man’s Job.

“There is nothing to writing. All you do is sit down at a typewriter and bleed.” ― from Ernest Hemingway

I Will Have No Fear

Lesson 285 ~Calling In An Old-Fashioned~

WillLeave a comment

Let’s hear it for the boy because at least if I’m clapping, that’s one more thing my hands could be doing, besides writing, or waving them around like I “just don’t care” and at the moment I don’t. Calling In An Old-Fashioned

Thursday, April 12, 2018

Lesson 285 ~Calling In An Old-Fashioned~

WARNING, 18+, READER DISCRETION ADVISED

Come In Dirty Diana,
I Am Not Fine Today; my hands have been plenty busy, on writing you pervert, oh that’s right maybe I forgot who I was talking to now, and I don’t know if this is going to be all types of sexy or what. It’s not my novel, again this would be more up Lady Sophia’s alley, and I was going to say ass but today is more about self-gratification or should I say a lack thereof, thirty-three days and still counting.

Sometimes even a quickie isn’t possible; men have their usual porn, you know I have “The Motherlode” seriously I miss that show “Secret Girlfriend” you should go watch if you haven’t. Do women keep one hand on their books and one on their toys; it is HARD work trying to type and pleasure oneself at the same damn time, but I’m behaving, yes a good boy for the most part. I’m not suggesting that there’s something wrong with masturbation just so you know, but then you ask me why I stopped, and I have more than enough reasons, one of them being the “thirst,” *sigh*.

My mother told me though, you don’t go to the grocery store when you’re hungry, which is accurate enough when it comes to food ready to go but a hunter who has to or needs to, without a doubt score a kill? On the other hand, I did not say that did I, like on this episode of “Solitary” those people think they were starving, but a small taste of something has them ready to explode. Is this my way of saying I need to stop “edging” with the porn, I might as well stop writing my novel then, don’t you think or find a woman as you are suggesting.

Since my hands have been pretty busy maybe this why I’m leaning towards a hand-job and those can happen anywhere; it’s even a fantasy of mine to be doing precisely this, to be writing and just having some ladylove beside me taking care of business. In the movies, in the library, yeah I don’t think I’m winning over any stores to be sure, and as for my writing who knows what would happen if I gave into temptation but no.

Just like one of my girls, I would like to watch so I would know entirely the magic these fingers could do because it ain’t writing but I was always better Calling In An Old-Fashioned.

I Will Have No Fear

Lesson 284 ~Do I Love Guns~

WillLeave a comment

Honestly, I have talked more about having a family than ever owning a gun, but with how things are going these days… well, it seems I have the attention of the gun lovers, but preferring women, yeah I’m the bad guy. Do I Love Guns

Wednesday, April 11, 2018

Lesson 284 ~Do I Love Guns~

“A good question – for another time.” ― Maz Kanata

Forgive Me Echo,
I Am Not Fine Today, and not only because I’m taking so long to talk to you or that I won’t speak about my unfortunate lack of a prom; just a novel and the Second Amendment got in the way. Making money and guns, what an excellent conservative I would make though according to Facebook I am moderate, which makes sense, still damn I was hoping to be a liberal but that might only be in some rock HARD areas if you know what I mean Inspector.

So what brought this on, I received a letter from the NRA wanting me to join up, as the Christians would say, not today Satan but funny how most of them are card-carrying members of the NRA, for a moment I was thinking identity theft when I opened the letter. Suppose Mark Zuckerberg owes me an apology, but then again I am an open book when it comes to everything except whatever title I’m currently writing which brings me to an excuse. It stinks, my novel, is complete utter garbage and before “Indiana Gone,” “Cherry,” or “Okay” tries to say something, let’s get it all out on the table, I hate my writing, so there.

Strangely enough, I don’t hate the right to bear arms, don’t get me wrong Inspector Echo, there need to be some strict ass gun laws. I know plenty of people that shouldn’t have them; could throw myself into the mix but I want an assault rifle at some point, a pistol. Damn let me hold the button for a minute and you know I’m not a violent person; who have I hurt, we live in the real world, and with the way things are going, I might need some protection I should think. Another reason people shouldn’t read my book, if you compare my fiction to me, hell I shouldn’t be permitted to hold a gun, let alone a pen or a keyboard but lucky for me the NRA I think are total gun nuts.

While I despise most people, the NRA that protects guns more than children for example, what does this say about me, if you checked out my NEW Pinterest boards there aren’t many guns, but pillows, puppies, whatever we’re naming them this week are plenty? I guess that makes me a bad guy but a bunch of weapons I can keep in the closet… I am sorry that makes me such and such a person so to answer… yes I do love guns, but sorry I won’t be joining the NRA, but since my writing stinks, who knows if they’ll see this, still sorry not sorry.

For the #MeToo movement um, something, something, sorry I don’t respect women as much as you think I should, though I think I’m a sweetheart mostly but in the end how Do I Love Guns.

I Will Have No Fear

Lesson 283 ~Ok, I’m Up Now~

WillLeave a comment

Which is more exhausting, writing a love story or trying to live one and doing both, I’m going to start having to write a bunch of reasons just to get out of bed, to be honest. “Ok, I’m Up Now” the question is what to do

Tuesday, April 10, 2018

Lesson 283 ~Ok, I’m Up Now~

Dear Future Wife,
I Am Not Fine Today, not that it matters to my dog and any fur babies you bring along and a man needs all the love he can get these days, the best part of waking up I believe. You know I’m not a big coffee drinker, so I will take eight hours when I can get them; though being a husband and a father might mean having to make do with much less, again just how the world works right now.

The best way to a man’s heart is through his stomach rings right, and I do like bacon, just ask my parents, then again don’t that’s just something that tires me out but the food is good, bacon, pancakes, hash browns. Since my eyes will already lie shut, maybe a kiss or two would perk me up, a reason to look up as I’m usually asleep on my belly if I know I don’t have anything to do in the morning but just my luck… As the song goes love lift us up where we belong, have you been playing with my playlist; nothing gets me in the workday spirit as much as Easy Street.

What about when the work day’s through, maybe that’s why I spend so much time writing now so my other books will be few and far between; with all due respect to Skye Warren, I just can’t produce novels that fast. You might have to wake me up to write though, and that will be far easier when I get to quit the day job at some point, talk about motivation to get up. Love, you are plenty but how am I supposed to get anything done, if I was a sculptor, well then again I’ll find some other way to love you, my angel.

Though there is something to be kept about the classics; the two-legged children or six if we count all three of them, speaking of things to produce fast, because if I can tell when my dog is crying at two in the morning… If I know I can see your smile; that I can feel how you “Love Me Like You Do,” and everything that might require more than words. Who would need an alarm clock to wake-up any day?

As for this moment, I only want to cuddle with you and watch wrestling though it gets a bit boring at; Ok, I’m Up Now.

I Will Have No Fear

Lesson 282 ~Twenty Seconds Of Insane Courage~

WillLeave a comment

What is a second of courage, an idea, a step, eye contact, a few more seconds, one foot in front of the other, and still there are more and am I facing oblivion yet, five minutes, an hour, what is twenty seconds that? Twenty Seconds Of Insane Courage

Monday, April 9, 2018

Lesson 282 ~Twenty Seconds Of Insane Courage~

Twenty-Seventh Rule Madam Justice

I Am Not Fine Today, how can I be; I’ve always had this sneaking suspicion that the world will come to an end any second, so I’m forever trying to survive until the next five minutes. If I make it give five more, anyone who knows me can say I am a stickler for time unless I feel that whatever it is no longer matters, e.g., my day job, once upon a time I would show up fifteen minutes early.

Sometimes Madam Justice I can easily blame my OCD, but for the most part, it’s fear because when it comes to something like “women” as the song goes “Can We Talk.” Hell, I’m not asking for fifteen, five, hell I’m not asking for even a minute, all I need is twenty seconds, that’s the hard part. What can a man do in twenty seconds, I know women who would have some interesting answers, but men can destroy the world, or you can save a life, you can give love “If Only For One Night” and some might even offer forever.

Honestly Madam Justice I have yet to decide what type of man I will be even at my age, but unfortunately, I have yet to be a brave one, though people have seen different sides of me. Here’s the thing though, let’s reread the rule, I am focusing on “courage” when I should relish on “insane,” and that is something that most will not deny about me, this is something I utterly believe above all else. So if I can get the time right and feel what others think to be insane, as in I have great courage, what is stopping me, there is nothing.

I mean come on just today I have wasted over three hours of my life on something I believe has no value according to me… I am starting to sound like “Cherry” no matter how many times you tell her something she won’t understand. Maybe that’s the trick, thinking I’m insane when it might be the rest of the world, and I’m normal, sort of like that story that the girl told in Veronika Decides to Die: A Novel of Redemption, see how crazy I am becoming these days Justice.

I could be crazy enough to tell you why I didn’t go to prom, well more a story for Inspector Echo am I right? Anyway sometimes I think I see the bigger picture, and other times I only want to live the next few minutes well, sort of like “The 13th Warrior” but most of all I want to be the man I know I can be if I show Twenty Seconds Of Insane Courage.

I Will Have No Fear

Lesson 281 ~Flat Of Your Back~

WillLeave a comment

I went to work today but not the day job, but some real work that I’m missing “WrestleMania” for so the question becomes am I having fun yet, can I go and lie down now that the hard part is over. “Flat Of Your Back,” not again I don’t think

Sunday, April 08, 2018

Lesson 281 ~Flat Of Your Back~

“Next time, you will look up at me from the flat of your back.” ― from A Knight’s Tale (2001)

To Will:
I Am Not Fine Today and in case you haven’t learned this by now “let me sleep on it” as the song goes isn’t truly helping anyone, well not you at least and maybe your bed is telling you something. Just another reason you can’t spend all day on your back, remember that brief bit of time when you wanted to build that dungeon of yours, “The Black Room” hell your bedroom has become one posh prison cell.

Now as they say, to everything there is a season; if you recall the reason you started sleeping on your back was just an acknowledgment of the work day tomorrow, ready to be “up and at ’em” but you’re no hero, wage slave. Speaking of old sayings how about “I’ll sleep when I’m dead,” you’re trying to be free of the mask, but you’re still pretending, still hoping that you won’t have to wake up tomorrow, the bed has taken a tomb’s form. Wouldn’t that explain a lot, like sleeping on bricks or stones which means your back should know what it’s like being against the wall? How about it’s difficult to use a laptop on your back though it keeps the “Fapping” to a minimum and how about those six impossible things you have:

1. I Will Keep It In My Pants (Day 022 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
Completed (Day 029 No Fap)
2. I Will Be The Friend My Dog Deserves
Completed
3. I Will Not “Beg,” ”Cherry or Okay”
Partial Completion, Flirting (Cherry’s Lifestyle and Okay’s Tight Behind)
4. I Will Complete 50% of “VLAD.”
Failed 30%
5. I Will Start My New Book Today
Completed
6. I Will “Get Out” Of This House Other Than Shopping
Partial Completion (“The Miracle Season” and “A Quiet Place”) two movie visits

You want to be on your back, and I can’t blame you, the world is a hard place, but you can make it less of one if you get off your back now and do the work. If lust is the key to everything then your bed, no your beds because you’re going to have The Black Room one day have to be comfortable and bouncy, don’t forget bouncy. You do enjoy when girls know how to ride if you’re interpreting “Pony” right, but that’s just one more reason to be on the flat of your back but what girls have been around here lately? What about being on the beach someday just resting, didn’t you get eight hours last night in bed, another excuse to want more sleep but you can’t write your six impossible things from the flat of your back you know?

1. I Will Keep It In My Pants (Day 029 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
2. I Will Be The Friend My Dog Deserves
3. I Will Announce My Book Camp NaNoWriMo
4. I Will Complete 50% of “VLAD.”
5. I Will Write A Review
6. I Will “Get Out” Of This House Other Than Shopping Or Movies

If you want to lie down you should at least make it comfortable right and have some company that isn’t shedding 24/7, the dog’s hair does not know what to do in this weather but if it’s going to be cold, you should work. Will if it’s hot you should be sweating on your keyboard, not lying in bed on the Flat Of Your Back.

I Will Have No Fear

Lesson 280 ~I Missed Health Class~

WillLeave a comment

When was the last time I wanted to get out of bed, not needed, not have to, not a challenge, no I only wanted to get up and live… is it too early for Christmas and can I be a kid again and go back to school. I Missed Health Class.

Saturday, April 7, 2018

Lesson 280 ~I Missed Health Class~

Hey Lady Luna,
I Am Not Fine Today because I missed health class, not all of it but probably more than Sex Ed, only this is America, so most kids missed that conversation, to be honest. What I mean there are plenty of things about health that I should have learned being an African-American and all. Personally, I never dreamed I’d get out of my teens and with diet, a brain only a zombie could love, the cops, let’s say things aren’t looking that good.

You may be wondering what brought all this up; maybe it’s the fact that I have wasted yet one more day of my life in bed. Except for walking my dog and nature’s call, I’ve been down for the count. What honestly baffles me is the concept that I have held my day job for almost seven years and in all that time, I’ve been late once, and I’ve called out once, been too sick to stay one time, and left early maybe twice. One of those times was for another job, and the other was for my writing career, and yet I’m not writing today, am I Lady Lu?

I wasn’t learning how to survive on Pop-Tarts and toast, maybe pizza and Rotisserie Chicken every night, am I complaining about food and money right now? Lady Lu they don’t talk about when you’re so depressed that your body follows suit and you’re weighed down by something as light as a blanket. How about cold, the weather has been like something out of “1408” hot, wet, frozen, wasteland but every work day I go out into that, and it’s killing me, but I have a billion excuses as to why I can’t do for me.

Speaking of killing, I haven’t had a run-in with the law for the longest time but from searching on Motherless.com to my Pinterest boards being knocked out, to Facebook collecting intel I could face arrest for a great many things. Am I still hung up on the Pinterest thing… tell that to the hundred or so episodes of General Hospital I have yet to watch and just might give up.

Health Class wants to teach you to stay strong and not just lie on your back which goes right back into how come there’s no sexual education at most schools. I’ll tell you what I haven’t learned today, how to deal with an ever-growing weakness pervading my body but hey Lu I Missed Health Class.

“There is only one rule that binds all people. One governing principle that defines every relationship on God’s green earth: The weak are meat, and the strong do eat.” Dr. Henry Goose, Cloud Atlas (2012)

I Will Have No Fear

Lesson 279 ~E.T. Doesn’t Know Me~

WillLeave a comment

I have all the quiet I will need for the next few days, and I saw two movies this week so much like the family in A Quiet Place what is it I should be doing… surviving, and my book should help with that right? E.T. Doesn’t Know Me

Friday, April 6, 2018

Lesson 279 ~E.T. Doesn’t Know Me~

Hey Lady Sophia,
I Am Not Fine Today but look at it this way they don’t call me big head anymore then again people talk behind my back still, which might explain this backache and the headache. My, oh my is that sounding like I’m writing another excuse but what else have I written today; my name that might as well be mud, how much money do I need so I don’t starve or how hard the pizza man needs to knock on the door.

While I’m busy not helping myself, how about that review I still owe for “Galahad Suns,” how about being an active participant in my writing community, and speaking of reviews, what about “A Quiet Place?” I swear anytime I find a quiet place I want to sleep, to “drift” and no I can’t blame the movies, I mean I always find time to talk to my girls and myself don’t I? More like I still have time to listen, to go crazy, hearing things that aren’t there like all the characters in the book I’m not writing now, again those backstabbers, and worrying about what to say to the pizza guy in a little while.

People loved E.T. the Extra-Terrestrial, and yet the government wanted to cut open that big head of his and figure out what was in there; sometimes there is nothing more than hopes and dreams, sometimes it’s the finger that holds power. I said before that I don’t grow because I can’t afford it… is that yet another excuse, traditional publishing cost a whole lot of money, but my ideas, my dreams, this noise in my head continually grows louder and louder. If I was back in school, I imagine that everybody would compare me to one of the creatures in “A Quiet Place” (old habits) hell I do feel like an alien in both this world and the one that I’m building in my novel.

Me and my big head, that’s Mr. Bighead to you, maybe that’s why I like scary movies and sex, I enjoy the sound of screaming, well making other people more so which keeps me up to write because my head is so dense. No wonder I look down so much, mourning a dead man all the time, a career that will never be but still I should look to the stars, one look, truth be told E.T. Doesn’t Know Me.

I Will Have No Fear