Tag: Log

Log 225 ~Will And “Folk” Heroes~

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One day I’ll hear those words, “Help me Daddy,” yeah, I know what I’m thinking but I’m serious, I’ll always be there for my family and no, I’m not a hero. They’ll also talk about meeting the folks me and my wife. Will And “Folk” Heroes

Tuesday, February 11, 2020

Log 225 ~Will And “Folk” Heroes~

Dear Future Wife,
I AM a Billionaire right now, even after I gave my parents a few million, so I’ll never see them again, well, dad. If I ever become my father, do what you think is right, but don’t become my mother. You don’t deserve mistreatment or anything less than to be the goddess you are My Love. The one thing I ever learned from my father was money, and he’s not a rich man. Indeed most of my heroes are rich men, and I don’t know how they did family life. With what I do for a living, most people ask how I dare to be a father.

My “Big Sister” told me once, “you can’t build a strip club, next to a school.” I wholeheartedly agree, and while I won’t keep any secrets from you when it comes to our children? Now I’m Sonny Corinthos saying my kids will never be part of the MOB. There was another woman who worked for me once and is an awesome mom. My business is one thing, but respecting her as a woman is another. People do as they like, and I wouldn’t want you or any of my family to know disrespect for my dealings. It’s hard wanting to be one man and then wanting to live the dream, and would I surrender one for the other? Again I don’t know how they do it, baby girl. Writers like Todd Michaels and S. Wolf; there are others, and that’s only the tip of the iceberg.

I still don’t want to be my old man, thinking I give money, so that’s love. Who has to be terrifying or full of rage to hide insecurities and anxiety. I’m never going to hit our kids or threaten them with any violence. They will never feel ashamed of themselves, and I swear if anyone ever calls them STUPID.

Now they say boys marry girls that remind them of their mothers. You can have her intelligence, her heart, and talk about courage. Will I call her the epitome of parenting? My sister has two kids with different dads, and how did I turn out? Then I look at my firstborn, and I always say I love him like pancakes. I couldn’t love him more if I poured the Bisquick myself. For all our kids, we can be the best parents, Will And “Folk” Heroes.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 224 ~Dogs Have Such Big Hearts~

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I’ve had dogs before, my grandmother’s. His name was Wishbone; he was shot. Grandma lives ghetto adjacent. I had a chow puppy; one of my grandfather’s dogs killed him. “My Dæmon,” once belonged to my sister. He’s nearly 15. Dogs Have Such Big Hearts.

Monday, February 10, 2020

Log 224 ~Dogs Have Such Big Hearts~

Hundred And Twenty-Third Rule

Madam Justice,
I AM a Billionaire right now, so My Dæmon’s backyard is enormous. As you know, I’m a time-traveler (Friday, February 7). For the record, I still stick by the first rule of going through time, DON’T.

Anyway, if I were to imagine the future, I see him, he’s grown a beard, or all his little tan hairs are gray. He lies between two or three children, a boy and a girl Luke and Leia, or three daughters, Katniss, Tris, and Ember. Yes, I know there are other combinations. I didn’t even get to name My Dæmon, though we called him Neo for three days, my mother changed it.

I always thought the deepest love was between two partners sharing their lives. The truth is, though, I would kick any woman out on her behind for my firstborn. If it weren’t for him, I wouldn’t hear the word LOVE. I say it nearly every day, and any time I leave the house. You know how my #2 Impossible Thing is always to be a better father. One of the reasons I’m not is because it’s my boy who shows love 24/7 365. Even now, where is he, you ask? He’s lying against my leg, taking a break from his guard duties. Now I can’t blame him. Madam Justice, he’s the strongest man I know. I’m ashamed to admit this and I should save it for Inspector Echo, but I hit him yesterday. Not on purpose, never, but you know my rants about “Coal” at the Day Job, right? So yesterday I was watching all these bully fights. There was this big one with Bruce Lee fighting all these guys on a rooftop, beautiful brutality.

Well, I’m up, and I’m swinging, and My Dæmon gets excited and WHAM, he gets smacked in the nose. One more thing my son teaches me, and that’s FORGIVENESS. I swear he’s hated me more for vet visits and that never lasts more than a day. Isn’t it ironic that he has heart troubles and my love for him, wow? I buy his medication, his food, everything he needs. I’m sitting here going crazy with the humming. Scared, I did something to my ear this afternoon. I’m exhausted, and all this seven-pound ball of fluff wants to do is help and comfort his own Dad. GRATITUDE, he’s my sweetest blessing.

Dogs Have Such Big Hearts.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 223 ~Will The Real Owners~

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“Freedom Ain’t Free,” as the song goes, it’s why I think a billion dollars is a fair price, to feel at one point it was $200.00 or do I value myself far too much; the things that people get out of my pretty cheap. Will The Real Owners.

Sunday, February 9, 2020

Log 223 ~Will The Real Owners~

To Will:
I AM a Billionaire right now, and if you were too, what would you spend all that money on anyway. Let’s say besides women, of course. You’re not a Christian man, well unless I find religion in the next two days (Thursday Night). Vengeance is mine saith the Lord, I heard from someone. Please don’t freak out, and I know you won’t, but everybody else. While we’re talking expressions, here’s another, a penny for your thoughts. Now you need to be like The Band Perry and “sell’em for a dollar.” Okay, what I’m saying is you don’t own a “darn” thing, not even your thoughts; it seems sometimes.

Let’s start with today; for example, I emailed the roof guys. It was an easy question, are you the owner of the house. No, I’m not; it belongs to my Olds and you know how I feel dealing with them. Can’t I pay $375.00 and get rid of that humming finally, how long has it been now. Isn’t it ironic? I bought the TV, the PS4, the games, all my books, I could continue. All of it is in that room, and I can’t enjoy any of it anymore. The bed I’m sleeping in isn’t mine so where do I get off trying to share it with someone. Even my best friend in the world, My Dæmon, isn’t mine. I didn’t pay for him and he belonged to my sister at first. If I open the door or the gate, would he come back? He deserves his life, and if I could talk to him, I would ask if he’s happy here. I should be asking myself about, well you know what, Six Impossible Things:

  1. I AM Keeping It In My Pants (Day 001 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 001 No Fap)
  2. I AM Always The “Father” My Dæmon Deserves
    Failed
  3. I AM Publishing My Poetry “GULP”
    Failed
  4. I AM Reviewing Raphael By Tillie Cole
    Failed
  5. I AM Getting My Second Car Fixed
    Failed
  6. I AM Finishing A Naughty Little Christmas by Lili Valente
    Completed

I can take credit for one success and five failures. If anything, it’s like I’m an undertaker burying the same list week after week. Well, there will be a few changes, of course. I guess I can say the plan is mine or well yours, on top of everything else. You’re inheriting my anger from the Day Job with “Coal.” Chances are you’ll keep that humming for another week. I’m saying it “damn, Damn, DAMN,” how I’ve been avoiding that word. Do you want to know what belongs to you to be honest? Yes, Failure but also Fault and Fear. Of Course Six Impossible Things:

  1. I AM Keeping It In My Pants (Day 002 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
  2. I AM Always The “Father” My Dæmon Deserves
  3. I AM Reviewing Twenty “GULP” Poems
  4. I AM Reviewing Raphael By Tillie Cole
  5. I AM Getting Rid Of The Humming From The Roof
  6. I AM Finishing Siren by Hazel Grace

Don’t put the blame on me, Will The Real Owners.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 222 ~Angry, WILLful, Arrogant, More~

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SHE said I have anger problems, and yes, that makes me mad because it means I’m like my father, or as Master Yoda puts is Fear leads to anger, and then to hate, but perhaps I have other qualities? “Angry, WILLful, Arrogant, More.”

Saturday, February 8, 2020

Log 222 ~Angry, WILLful, Arrogant, More~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Billionaire right now, so how can I be mad. Now I won’t lie to you; if I were part of the 1%, I would be angry losing my paper. I’m not even close yet, but I hate spending money. Yes, I know Lady Lu, this coming from the man that spends money on GIRLS, GIRLS, GIRLS. Isn’t that exactly why it’s taking so long to talk to you tonight? Last night I was plenty angry with Trump, and so I am tonight. A wealthy white guy is proving once more that his kind can get away with anything. Only this is supposed to be about me, am I right?

A Wednesday night because I don’t feel like getting up Thursday morning? Lady Lu, that’s something that makes me angry, my laziness. I spent another afternoon not doing anything for myself. No, I slept only to wake up to the 1% doing away with the law. I would say than anger takes a lot out of me, but yeah, I did the same thing yesterday. Today though, I almost lost it with “Coal.” I let pretty girls get away with a lot but the ugly ones? Okay, so you’re telling me that’s not nice, but I do mean her personality; for the most part. I finished Dennis Hof’s book on Audible again today. It only got me madder at myself that I can’t be him. Well, I could, but that would require me to get off my behind. I tell Cherry that sometimes if I could only get to work and I shouldn’t even be talking about her. Black Pantyhose/Stockings and “Fechikano!” and that’s that.

So we have early mornings, STUPID people at work, and my lackluster attitude if it’s not my chosen field. What about other stuff I can’t do, the humming is still going on Lady Lu. I could make a call, but what about tomorrow? What about my forgetfulness? Did I say something about leaving the trunk open all night before once?

If I can’t trust myself with every day, how can I remember even to make a phone call, as I would? I still miss Far Cry 5 and reading, don’t I? “THEY,” say we have two wolves inside us, and they worked together to eat a third. There’s HATE, and there’s FEAR. Always hungry, never full, Angry, WILLful, Arrogant, More.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 221 ~Sounding Off Someday Will~

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Another week of research on noise and it sounds like it could be the turbine on the roof but that’s coming from the mouth or fingers of a stranger but my head if nothing but a racket so anything to read in silence. Sounding Off Someday Will

Friday, February 7, 2020

Log 221 ~Sounding Off Someday Will~

Hey Lady Sophia,
I AM a Billionaire right now, and with that, I know, money is pretty loud. If I can’t read in silence, I might as well learn about the noise. Well, that explains why I’m talking to you tonight. I’ve already said I don’t like waking up early though I should. Yes, Lady Sophia, I wasted one more day on sleep. My grandest accomplishments today, I fueled up the car and took care of a few emails. Tonight (Tuesday), I should be watching the State of the Union. In all fairness, I couldn’t stand all the fawning, and the “Black/Minority Parade” Trump has.

Tomorrow will be all abuzz with his lies and his defenders. I swear what else am I going to do besides watching that or YouTube. Again this is a night without reading or Far Cry 5, and of course, you know why. I miss My Study, Man Cave, Fortress of Solitude; that’s not my bedroom. When it comes to bed, of course, this is the last place I should be now. I’m still watching UnidentifiedSFM, and I haven’t even checked on Jada Chan. Now, if you look any of that up, My Lady, that’s your fault. Anyway, I’m going crazy this being Day 4 of you know what. Of course, there is still the humming, and did I tell you I have a lead on the racket now. It makes it much easier to handle when you know that something can end someway, somehow hopefully.

Wow, saying any word with “LY” immediately triggers Hemingway, Grammarly, or both. I want to be a better writer Lady Sophia, more than anything, but haven’t I said I don’t sound like myself. At this rate, I should join the chorus on the roof. Now if it’s not only weird sounds, it’s an echo but no disrespect to Inspector Echo, I’m only saying the same thing on repeat. I hate being unoriginal, but worse is an ignored voice, you know. I tried showing off to A&W the other day, but he didn’t want to hear it at all. Of course, that leads to the worse sound of all. My money, falling into nothing and hollowing out my bank account. Even the fear of strangers and my Olds; SIGH, that’s what got me into this mess. I can’t read about another world yet, a better place; I’m Sounding Off Someday Will.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 220 ~Will Rides The Three-Way~

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Didn’t someone say that three is a crowd, and I know someone who wouldn’t be willing to part with their bed spot if Daddy decided to have some company or even more than my video camera? Will Rides The Three-Way

Thursday, February 6. 2020

Log 220 ~Will Rides The Three-Way~

WARNING, 18+, READER DISCRETION ADVISED

Come In Dirty Diana,
I AM a Billionaire right now, so that’s far more than two girls at the same time. Hell, I’ve made it no secret that I want to have a brothel, several, I want to be the next Dennis Hof. Since I haven’t been reading much these days, well, I did finish one of my Six Impossible Things. Anyway, I’ve been listening to The Art of the Pimp again on Audible, trying to get inspired. It helps to get through the Day Job, not playing Far Cry 5 or reading, and the humming. The last thing I’ll say about that is I believe I have found the cause, now for the cure?

Before that, though, haven’t I said I’m a selfish bastard when it comes to money? Well, not when it comes to porn, and of course, I’m still basking in my recent purchase. Talk about making it rain, but always some girls would rather stay dry. How many times do I have to say stop? I’m only four days into NO FAP. I want to keep clean, but so many beautiful girls I become ravenous. Do you remember when I had that “Red Dawn” fantasy of Alice Little and Ruby Rae? Of course, I don’t have that much paper but thirty bucks what does that do for anything. I’m still in the shower imagining a mother and daughter combo. That is pretty tame considering what I bought. I’m again on the fence about sharing a woman. Two fighting for my cock, though, I swear that’s enough.

So much for being a man of my word because there is no such thing as enough, I want more. I’m talking Shusaku Replay appetite, desires that make some of Studio Fow’s work look holy. Even in the spirit of this, I looked at one of my Pinterest boards and saw the followers list up. Seeing that, I did another gallery starring twins. Don’t even get me started on another set of twins, well okay boobs. I was ready to give in to temptation; again, what I said to Cherry? I’m so out of it, I keep thinking today is Wednesday, me and my numbers. Four boobs and no one I have to share with, right? Two boobs and a young woman gangbanged by three dicks, not vanilla, Dirty Diana.

I’m better off getting up. Instead, Will Rides The Three-Way.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 219 ~Will Changes His Tune~

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Well the hum drove me out of the Den once again, no Far Cry 5, watching wrestling from bed and letting people know about my problems; as I told someone today, it’s another day. Will Changes His Tune

Wednesday, February 5, 2020

Log 219 ~Will Changes His Tune~

Forgive Me Echo,
I AM a Billionaire right now, or so I “know,” the Law Of Attraction is what it is and such. Now I’m not jumping back on the positivity train. Every day, haven’t I said something about the humming? Well, that makes it hard to listen to Don’t Worry Be Happy. Inspector Echo, it’s getting to the point that I don’t know what to do with myself if I don’t hear that buzz. I’m also not one to join in the Super Bowl festivities. Yes, it’s still Sunday and am I jumping three days ahead now, not tonight.

If anything, I don’t want to get up earlier than I have to again. Somehow or another, I was able to tear myself away from my latest acquisitions to talk to you. Why do I need more noise in my life? You know, half the time, breathing is a little much for me to contend with, but here I am. Only isn’t that what I was telling the neighbors this evening? Inspector Echo, that’s how bad it’s become, that I’m reaching out to strangers for help. The truth is, these are my neighbors, but didn’t I ever learn stranger danger. Don’t remind me of how my grandmother scared me STUPID that I’d get kidnapped. I remember for a few weeks, I slept with a whistle around my wrist. Nowadays, it’s a ton of hardware and a bunch of alarms about the Day Job, avoiding lateness.

Yet didn’t I say I wanted to change my tune, and this is sounding a lot like the usual. How I miss the silence “My House” once gave so willingly. At least this morning, I was panicking for another reason. The car was frozen over, and I had to fight through the ice. Still, more of the usual Inspector Echo, how I do whatever it takes to get to places that I can’t stand. So, of course, this afternoon, all I did was lose myself to a dream. Imagining the place I want to be instead of making inroads there. If it’s any consolation, I did come up with a few ideas for further conversations. Now, if I wanted to hear anything right now, it would be dead silence. I think now the problem could be the plumbing, so I want to snake the toilet.

I’m sorry, was that too much, these problems, what about solutions; Will Changes His Tune.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 218 ~Your Will Out Loud~

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I often talk about the terms that set me off, but a word like love; let me hear that more often and I don’t think I would be as addicted to my earphones as I am, and no, I’m not talking the kind of anyone’s imaginary friend hmm. “Your Will Out Loud.”

Tuesday, February 4, 2020

Log 218 ~Your Will Out Loud~

Dear Future Wife,
I AM a Billionaire right now, but I’m not that smart. Under no circumstances would I ever say I’m STUPID because I know somethings. I’m not a handyman. It took me some days to put together a small coffee table. You won’t hear me pounding away with some hammer. During the Super Bowl, you didn’t hear me cheering for any team. I don’t even remember who played. It’s Sunday now, and I don’t want to bother looking it up. I fear the days our children get older and call out for help with their homework and what I will say to them.

I’ve told you about how my “father” loves using lots of money. Don’t get me wrong; the cash will keep you warm. I would rather hear the trickling of nickels and dimes than the banging of debt collectors. I pound the keys because I got tired of hitting the streets. I’m sure I’ve told you often enough that the first steps I made towards you, were the scariest I ever made in this life. All so I could speak of a love that would echo through eternity. My heart almost beat a hole through my chest, all so I could give it to you, My Love. Yeah, I’m guessing you can see why I have such a love of horror movies. A more socially acceptable way of hearing you scream; yeah, it’s not Thursday yet hmm. Not that love is something on my to-do list; it’s not to be made routine. It’s so much louder than taking a breath.

Baby girl, it’s more than any song I could sing and still Baby, I’m Yours. Speaking the words I Love You are louder than any rattling, ever felt it my bones from all my darkest fears. The softest touch and I can fly, as they say, not all heroes wear capes. I know I’m not Superman, I don’t ever hear the oohs and ahhs of the crowds. No, what I hear is, “Who’s That Guy?” Now didn’t I mention horror movies? There are the groans of so many men. I listen to hearts breaking and speaking about my bones talk about others being knocky in the knees. You Tell Me that you love me, you ask me, Love Me Like You Do. Only my name on your lips is all I need to hear forever and always, Your Will Out Loud.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 217 ~To Talk Means A Vocabulary~

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Replace “talk” with “write,” I write too much, plus I’m a low, middle-class black man and things wouldn’t turn out so hot under the law but then look at the president and why one of my favorite songs is I Wanna Be Rich. To Talk Means A Vocabulary hmm

Monday, February 3, 2020

Log 217 ~To Talk Means A Vocabulary~

Hundred And Twenty-Second Rule

Madam Justice,
I AM a Billionaire right now, and I have three different rules about money. None of them say money talks though it’s the meaning. You know I usually tell you I don’t mean to be political. However, these past few days have all been people talking about what they say and language. I tell you about all the humming/buzzing going on in “my” place. My dæmon tells me everything, and he’s never uttered a word. My Mom would tell me my “Father” loves me, but if anything, that’s said with so much cash.

Is that where I get it from, hmm? I wouldn’t say I love my membership with SubscribeStar Adult, but I still forked over $20.00. How about Jada Chan, that was another $10.00. Indeed, money is a universal language, and I don’t like what mine is saying. Oh yeah, I’m still downloading, though, aren’t I? My money tells me, I’m going to be working at the Day Job for the rest of my life. How about I’m not worth much, so I’m not getting that “lettuce” both for tacos and my experience. All my green is telling me goodbye every single day despite what Trump’s tax plan says. Okay, as Eric Thomas would say, let’s get away from money though he has plenty. What about Grammarly and Hemingway? You know I use them to check my writing daily, and I don’t even sound like myself anymore.

For the most part, I sound like a pervert, for example, the way I talk to Cherry. What about the reason I talk to M Anime? There’s also how I organize “certain” files in my universe. It’s as if I’m walking around with a gag all the time. Speaking of time, I should say this before I run out of time and words. Four hundred words a day, or I try. Anyway, if what I speak isn’t inappropriate, it’s downright STUPID. One of these days, it will take over as number one beating the term “Skeevy.” Again I keep writing because words like sorry, hate, and basic you know what doesn’t cut it at all. I talk about being honest, but that usually turns out being, precisely what people think I am. Madam Justice, I value the power of knowledge but take a look around.

I want to learn to speak loudly and clearly, ROAR. To Talk Means A Vocabulary

I Will Have No Fear

Log 216 ~Will And His Hum~

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I’m a fan of hundreds and hugs from pretty girls but not so much hunting and especially humming but somethings you learn to live without or live with and so as Elsa put it, here I stand, and here I stay. Will And His Hum

Sunday, February 02, 2020

Log 216 ~Will And His Hum~

To Will:
I AM a Billionaire right now, but you would probably spend it all on a soundproof room. Of course, I’m not only saying that because it’s Super Bowl Sunday. As always, here is your reminder that today is Friday. Yes, I continue to travel through time, and perhaps you will as well. I’ll tell you, yesterday I was all but ready to kill myself trying to destroy this humming. There’s always a worse sound, my friend, something to remember. I scrounged up what little courage I could find, and then I listened for but a moment to something.

$180.00, I still recall when I thought that $200.00 would solve everything. All this morning, I was going over the books, $1,500.00 to my Olds, $220 for the Alamo Fund, and other investments. Anyway, so the people say $180.00 for them to stop and listen, no thanks. What about skeevy? Yeah, that is something I’ll never forget as I’m sure you won’t. Here we are, in year three, and I can’t let go of my hate. What evil men “will” into existence? Not to get political, but by the time you see this again, Trump will be a free man. One more reason the hum should count as a blessing. I’m sure plenty of crazy people will be shooting in their celebrations. While we’re talking about guns, what about Far Cry 5? I missed playing two days because I was hunting the hum but not those SIGH Six Impossible Things:

  1. I AM Keeping It In My Pants (Day 001 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 002 No Fap)
  2. I AM Always The “Father” My Dæmon Deserves
    Failed
  3. I AM Publishing My Poetry “GULP”
    Failed
  4. I AM Reviewing Raphael By Tillie Cole
    Failed
  5. I AM Getting My Second Car Fixed
    Failed
  6. I AM Finishing A Naughty Little Christmas by Lili Valente
    Failed

I’m sure this has become your hum, the endless drones of 0’s passing by day by day. I wonder, will you be the one to turn the tide. Today there was the sound of me trying to keep the kitchen clean, making my bed. I do apologize that come Sunday you’ll still be hobbling along because of what I did to your big toe. You’re a survivor, though, so is your Dæmon. Breathe in, breathe out as your motivations would say. For the love of everything, though, will you stop talking to Cherry in a “certain” way? No more dreaming about “Specs,” either. You also have $200, but no girl is going to put up with this humming since you won’t pay that, $180.00 hearing. Time for Six Impossible Things.

  1. I AM Keeping It In My Pants (Day 002 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
  2. I AM Always The “Father” My Dæmon Deserves
  3. I AM Publishing My Poetry “GULP”
  4. I AM Reviewing Raphael By Tillie Cole
  5. I AM Getting My Second Car Fixed
  6. I AM Finishing A Naughty Little Christmas by Lili Valente

I’m sure you’ll break again over the humming, but today it’s almost like fuel. Escape it, Will And His Hum.

I Will Have No Fear