Log 023 ~Counting On You Will~

Hurt oh let me count the ways but shouldn’t I count my blessings, how I hate the church, but those habits die hard, and I sort of feel like I’m dying from my side to my overabundance of sleep. “Counting On You Will”

Wednesday, July 24, 2019

Log 023 ~Counting On You Will~

Forgive Me Echo,
I AM A Millionaire right now so you would think I could buy a heart. Hell like The Legend of Zelda the truth is I’m living on some. Didn’t Stevie Wonder talk about living enough, yes I know the lyrics. Only I don’t need my “writing resource” penalizing me again. Speaking of which that is what I’m counting up, crimes, slings, and arrows, other pains. For example, I have to report to Brainbuddy again, like rehab, you know. I woke up after a long nap and of course what happens well happened.

So should I blame “Sweet Slurpee Hayden Bell” from Reality Kings? Perhaps one Pinterest board that now has 151 Sections. Yes, I still plan on owning a brothel one day. I wonder how many girls Dennis Hof had on his roster at any one time? Of course, the Milf isn’t helping. Besides those numbers, there’s the list of aliments I’m suffering through today. How many ribs are broken, not for real? I go for days not thinking about my perfect ears but then again? Mornings are getting weird besides being so tired, but of course, I don’t have a schedule. Case and point we’re talking, and I should be reading. I need to drink more water, There’s never enough hours in the day, and my email is going to explode. What about getting my book published again, for Kindle only?

I think the title is an adequate sentiment, “Gulp.” As far as other book titles, the one I finished, “Fangs For Coming” or how about “Faces Only Fangs Could Love?” The blurb still requires more writing than I’m willing to do right now. Anyway, this week haven’t I mention gratitude, being grateful, hell the ideas keep coming. I have more food than I know what to do with Inspector Echo. If anything, I need to eat more or change my diet. The fact that I can is quite a blessing. How about the fact that I can wear jeans at work all the time now? B III has plenty of time I keep saying to myself because I refuse to think otherwise. I protect him from the negative plus he doesn’t understand the news. I’ll say it, I love my country but hate the President. Now my day job and the people, that’s a question.

I’m sorry I hate Math Echo, Counting On You Will.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 022 ~Love Will Sound Like~

The only PERSON’s opinion that should mean anything is my own and possibly the girl I marry, should I also include my furbaby anyway, a girl said something today and let’s say my earphones will be on. Love Will Sound Like

Tuesday, July 23, 2019

Log 022 ~Love Will Sound Like~

Dear Future Wife,
I AM a Millionaire right now, but I don’t need a hearing aid. Old as I am, as loud as the world is, I should be grateful. One of my many motivations today stressed the importance of showing gratitude. I’m thankful my ears are healthy, hell perfect. I didn’t have to listen to A&W; I did get through my Meditation. One more afternoon of people showing me who they are, to be honest. You know what I usually don’t hear, those three little words. I love you.

It’s not that they don’t exist; it’s just that people don’t make them matter. When there was only me and B III, I said them all the time and meant them. Do you know what he said in return? He growled when he knew I was upset and looked for something to fight. My “father” and nephew stopped by, and he barked at the gate, wanting them to go away. Let’s not talk about my dad, and I don’t know any of my nephews enough to form an opinion. Triple B cries when I’m hurt and lies on the affected area. No wonder I thought a bug flew in my ear, too much toxicity at work. Yeah, people talk too damn much. I hear the clack of his nails on the floor, or the pitter-patter, a bath, and a nail grind are needed. He huffs, and he puffs, letting me know to get off my behind and do something anything.
Talk about having a purpose.

Now you tell me you love me, and again I am grateful. I feel undeserving sometimes I know, it even scares me a bit. You want to know when I hear it baby girl. Those Saturdays we lie here for two or three hours and imagine we’re the only two people left in the world. Please don’t let our kids be jocks? A cappuccino when I’m working or hot chocolate when I finish, coffee umm eww. Those times you sing to me because every day I’m losing my voice. How we watch some movie, I’ve seen a dozen times, and you’re surprised or pepper me with questions. Those nights we rant together about what they did to poor Prince Henry or Queen Daenerys. I can pretend I don’t hear some STUPID girl in my ear because I’m coming home to you. Love Will Sound Like

“You’re a good man,
(Will.)
And it doesn’t matter what
anyone else thinks but me.” movie Death Race – 2008

I Will Have No Fear

Log 021 ~Give Orders You Would Follow~

Camp NaNoWriMo, well general NaNoWriMo says 50,000 words, so I get it done, Brainbuddy suggest a podcast, and I listen to a bit, and of course, B III demands his morning stroll, when will someone follow me. Give Orders You Would Follow

Monday, July 22, 2019

Log 021 ~Give Orders You Would Follow~

Ninety-Fourth Rule Madam Justice

I AM a Millionaire right now, and you can be too. Yeah, I sound like one of my many motivations, Eric Thomas, Tom Bilyeu, Ray Lewis, etc. A better way of saying today’s rule might be Practice What You Preach. Yesterday, for example, I told myself I was going to finish my story, and I did so. Because Camp NaNoWriMo says, you can write 50,000 words in 30 days I finished. Even this morning, while I was on Brainbuddy for once. I read about this podcast, Porn Free Radio #185 How Successful Guys Overcome Edging.

My point is Madam Justice is I want to be a leader. You can’t lead, though unless you know what it means to follow. In my experience, I have known too many corrupt leaders. I always speak about the men that I admire. In these past days, I can add many more women. Don’t look at me like that, I respect women despite my BDSM teachings and dirty talk. Hell in my novel, the head honcho was a woman, the Mistress Director, and she’s a female I despise. Sadly though the leaders I’m surrounded by either make me laugh or make my blood boil. There’s the General Manager at the Day Job, A&W, my “father,” more. I want to be the best leader I can be for those who would follow. I’m a traditionalist, and I believe that a man, a husband, a father must lead his family, you know.

Any true leader of men, a commander, a general, a king, must be willing to die for those he leads. You know I’m not afraid to die, I’m scared to look STUPID. Madam Justice that remains my trigger. The fear that those under my charge will know failure because of my direction. They will know dejection, destruction, and death, and I will not do that to anyone. Strangely enough, my leaders lead me to such things. Brainbuddy is one of the few things that drive me towards being a better person. Rather than hating myself. If you give orders that should be the goal, for betterment. Soldiers will die to protect their families, their country. A submissive and dominant are both set free with their power. My son is happy because he knows I defend him, rethink the leash dynamic.

“Higher, Faster, Further baby” didn’t I say I respect women; Give Orders You Would Follow.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 019 ~Additives Of The Will~

Today, which is Sunday, I finished writing one more novel, I was in the zone with this 50,100, but the words weren’t the only thing I was addicted to; it could be worse, smoking or drinking perhaps? Additives Of The Will

Saturday, July 20, 2019

Log 019 ~Additives Of The Will~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Millionaire right now, and with money comes forgetfulness. I told A&W once that’s when you know you have cash when you’re not adding up every single penny. Hell Lady Lu I wasn’t counting up money but words, whorish characters, and so many weird obsessions.

It’s because of this I owe you an apology, but you know how I am. Sad that only a few moments ago, it’s Sunday now but yay Time Travel? Anyway, today I finished my book, and I was so eager I took Saturday for Sunday. Talk about being discombobulated, which I am right now. It’s always strange to finish one more book, and after the initial shock, I don’t know. 50, 100 words, and again once I got started, I was absorbed in work; this morning and then this evening. I don’t want to sound negative, Lady Lu, but I always am once the job is complete. Great joy and with great labor and of course I set up the “Mistress Director” in one of my other finished titles. Now, like Ving Rhames, the question becomes “What Now.” Yes, and before I forget, I am sorry for yesterday Lady Lu.

Anyway, yes, my story fucked me up (LANGUAGE). Strange that so many pretty girls didn’t make it through my novel. I don’t even remember if the Mistress Director died in another part, I will have to check. I read somewhere that when people see something cute, they become destructive. I could eat you up; I want to hug you hard, stuff like that. One more reason I’m a dominant and a sadist to boot. Not that such thoughts are wrong, understand, but I need to get back on Brainbuddy. Did I fall off the wagon; hell, I smashed it to bits this week. Street Blowjobs, Teen Starlet, Isaku, at this point I don’t need to write another novel. I haven’t been sleeping well, and when I do wake up, well sex wakes me up. You know 5-hour Energy screwed me over so many months ago.

Okay enough sex talk, I’m losing time over The Walking Dead trailer. If it’s not that after watching Marz play Detroit: Become Human, it’s been all gaming reactions. Guess I’m looking for someone else to be mad at, they play games; I write books. Anyway, I got through writing so next; Additives Of The Will.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 020 ~It’s Called Character Will~

Sunday, July 21, 2019

Log 020 ~It’s Called Character Will~

To Will:
I AM a Millionaire right now, and you could finish by tomorrow. Exciting, weird, again, pick any word but impossible okay? Of course, we have to talk about those six impossible things. The question is, who do you want to be tomorrow? It’s like being in the car driving and getting that estimated arrival time, so speeding up.

What kind of daddy do you want to be in the morning? You get up, struggle to take B III for a walk, and then you ignore him the rest of the day. He sleeps, he guards, while you struggle to write while going through withdrawal. Yes, you give him his food, his meds. “On time” please, that’s 7:55 PM his second pill and not the midnight hour. Hell, last night was a bitch (LANGUAGE) he has to stop eating stuff off the ground. Little vacuum, hunter believing in Hakuna Matata. Only the characters he plays but what about you absentee father? What about when you have some two-legged rugrats, but you’ll get to that soon enough. Why not now though, like I said driving around and you want to beat the clock don’t you?

A lot more today considering how much more there is to write. No amount of time seems like enough to grow up. Yeah, I didn’t see your “father” coming through with your nephew. When’s the last time you called your sister? It gets annoying that everyone thinks your world should revolve around them. You remember some time ago we talked about saying more than Hey or Sup and what about Rule 002. You Are Not A Caveman. Still feels like something out of 10,000 BC. People want a spot in the circle you have yet to create. You have yet to decide the man you want to be Will. So you have masks, caves, you play the fool or worse they make you that way. Speaking of circles, you have plenty of zeros from working less on Six Impossible Things:

  1. I AM Keeping It In My Pants (Day 003 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 003 No Fap)
  2. I AM Always The “Father” B III Deserves
    Failed
  3. I AM Naming My Novel And Writing A Back Cover Of It
    Failed
  4. I AM Reviewing The Five
    Failed
  5. I AM Writing For NaNoWriMo, A New Novel
    Completed
  6. I AM Finishing Reading Beauty in the Broken: A Diamond Magnate Novel by
    Charmaine Pauls Failed
  1. I AM Keeping It In My Pants (Day 003 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
  2. I AM Always The “Father” B III Deserves
  3. I AM Naming My Novel And Writing A Back Cover Of It
  4. I AM Reviewing The Five
  5. I AM Writing For NaNoWriMo, A New Novel
  6. I AM Finishing Reading Beauty in the Broken: A Diamond Magnate Novel by
    Charmaine Pauls

It’s all about #5, and you could be done by tomorrow if you keep working. One more excuse down the drain and a bunch of characters that will never know real life. Monsters, Madmen, and Masturbation fodder from Angie Varona to Jordyn Jones. What about that Audrey, no not from Little Shop? There’s a real-world Will but know this okay friend, It’s Called Character Will.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 018 ~Where Will It End~

One month and some change left before I’m writing the sorriest excuse to a beautiful woman, not to mention all those in my novel but I would have to get published first and the story I’m writing now? “Where Will It End.”

Friday, July 19, 2019

Log 018 ~Where Will It End~

Hey Lady Sophia,
I AM a Millionaire right now but still not published. I’m getting closer to finishing one more story that remains nameless today, but I need to feel; accomplished. There is not much of that for me these days. I quit writing to be called Ma’am at Taco Bell. One more reason to choose the Starving Artist path.

What am I a sim? Well, I want to be a customer, but time is not on my side when it comes to Alice Little. Didn’t I say I hate letting pretty girls down? When I started talking to her, I figured, get published become a success. Lady Sophia I’ve wasted a month and a half, hell a year. Alice is texting now, and she won’t buy some story of sorry I trashed your time. I always feel like I need an excuse for being in the way. Women though, I tell myself there is some woman out there waiting. A wonder I go young, not go to jail young but again TTB. If anything, I need to be writing a scene for Nevada. Only this isn’t my novel, and we’ll get to that. I’m sure I still have my Purge “Party” Fantasy somewhere but haven’t been looking for it.

How about my life story or my son’s who’s lying right here next to me sleeping. I read something horrible that I won’t dare repeat, but I want B III to have everything. A yard I’m not scared for him to play in for hours. I’m always worried about his health. He needs a mom and siblings and being fourteen, bless his patient heart. What about me though, the answer still is, I didn’t think I would make it this far. I’ve seen a new version of The Lion King. There are now ten seasons of The Walking Dead. Hell, I am blessed with so much and dare to dream of more. I should be working harder; I did around 2100 words today before I went for food. I’ll make the deadline for Camp NaNoWriMo for sure but let’s talk about sex baby the song says.

Is that what I’m calling my novel. As for now, the group is wading through blood and “other” body fluids. The Beast is losing his tattoos with help from his wife and yes I’m planning an orgy so ask again Where Will It End.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 017 ~Winning Willie By Daylight~

It’s sad that I still remember the Sailor Moon theme song, I watched a teen react into an adult, a quite beautiful adult, that Snow White can’t be hot, well she can but not for my poetry I guess. “Winning Willie By Daylight.”

Thursday, July 18, 2019

Log 017 ~Winning Willie By Daylight~

WARNING, 18+, READER DISCRETION ADVISED

Come In Dirty Diana,
I AM a Millionaire right now, but it isn’t from the fairytales. One of these days I’ll have to show you my “Winx Club” poetry from an LSD binge. I wish I were all sorts of high today, of course, I’m still reeling over yesterday. Nobody took down my comment though, and I’ve already moved on to making other women smile or offending them. One liked when I quoted Mariah Carey, another offered nudes for $200. She was one of those Teen/Adult React girls, legal now, but I’m still chasing boobs.

No wonder I’ve been fucking up with the porn lately. I’m going to have to report myself to Brainbuddy again thank you Mia Khalifah. “Graduating Summa Cum Loud” to be specific. Plaid skirts and glasses have always been my weakness. Always looking towards innocence as I carry so much guilt. I need something colorful, “Daddy’s Little Doll” series or “The Innocence Of Youth.” I know the difference of fantasy from reality Dirty Diana. I never figured I’d see one of those gamer girls naked. Still won’t, she had to get offers way “bigger” than mine, and no I’m not that crass. I go so nuts when I see Angie Varona all grown up of course.

How about growing up though and not offending any real women, Sailor Moon. Now I already said I wrote about the Winx Club, I knew W.I.T.C.H, but Sailor Moon sigh. My favorite was always Sailor Mercury, smart and sexy; I think I see a theme developing. I’ve never been one for bimbos, and you know my views on STUPIDITY. If it’s not innocence, it’s a woman that’s above it all. Again the woman dressed up as Snow White, I was worried over nothing? I’m still not sure, but I’ve never seen an ugly Disney Princess.

Let me go lower though; I’ve gotten back into Hentai. Kojin Taxi and Isaku mostly. From Kotomi Asakawa, Kyouko Sakai, Nanami Takeuchi, you know the Devil’s in the details. I wish I had all the time to research and enjoy, but The Lion King awaits. That’s something I never got into, Furries; okay, Lola Bunny. The world has become so much uglier these days. If it’s not the day job, well can I blame this on Trump? How about my novel, my eyes need something beautiful and pure? What things are Winning Willie By Daylight?

I Will Have No Fear

Log 016 ~Will Find FINE Princesses~

It’s amazing what you can do when you don’t want to sleep; last night it was staring into the void until 1:00 AM, tonight it was 5,000 words, so I’m less than 10,000 away from the finish line but on being a good man. Will Find FINE Princesses

Wednesday, July 17, 2019

Log 016 ~Will Find FINE Princesses~

Forgive Me Echo,
I AM A Millionaire right now, and inappropriate dammit. In full transparency, I don’t even know if they meant me, but I will take “The L” at his word. I wasn’t even thinking with “the D” last night, but more like Disney and Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs. So what was my grand sin before bed? Once upon a time, I saw a beautiful woman from “It’s A Southern Thing” dressed as Snow White. I penned a small poem or whatever using the seven dwarfs names:

“I’m HAPPY seeing you, GRUMPY you’re taken, SLEEPY dreaming of you, DOPEY I know, a bit BASHFUL letting it all out, but SNEEZY never I like the outdoors, but I do need a DOC for my lovestruck heart ❤️”

Now “The L” liked this comment. So minutes later, I read, “Some people should keep their inappropriate thoughts to themselves 😮.” Now am I mistaken; perhaps, I know I didn’t get to sleep until 1:00 AM. Scared I’d get blocked, terrified I’m wrong for some reason. I didn’t eat dinner; I stopped playing TWD. Inspector Echo I will punish myself when I feel I’ve done wrong and again I doubt myself. Do you remember I spent one night deleting everything from one page because of one person? I don’t check Whisper replies anymore. I spend maybe an hour deleting fake friend requests and blocking chats. If you joke you learn to deal with the heckle right? I wasn’t trying to get the girl I thought I was saying something cute. Unlike Trump, I own up to my sins for your consideration.

  1. I Paid A Girl Hundreds To Get Naked. She didn’t like the things she had to say.
  2. I Compared A Girl And Her Friend To Brazzers and Reality Kings Porn Stars
  3. I Sent A Mom A Butterfree Pokémon And Quoted Butterfly By Crazy Town
  4. I Hit My Sister’s Ankle When I Was Only A Child
  5. I Gave A Mom $5.00 At Walmart When She Asked. Thought about “Street Blowjobs”
  6. I Admire Jimmy Stephens For True Teen Babes. I watch Teen Starlet and Honey Cream

I could continue Inspector Echo. I get blocked, ridiculed, sick, all kinds of horny. Do you know I had my ass beat by a man that beats his wife? Why don’t I give up writing anything; Will Find FINE Princesses.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 015 ~Will Needs A Mirror~

I don’t think a girl has ever asked me, “does this dress make me look fat” and I learned from Cory Matthews never to tell the “absolute” truth about everything, I guess it pays not to be a prize myself. “Will Needs A Mirror.”

Tuesday, July 16, 2019

Log 015 ~Will Needs A Mirror~

Dear Future Wife,
I AM a Millionaire right now, so why not several mirrors? The first time I even bought a mirror for myself was when I got my first place. I did a few weeks of basic training in the Navy after that my first retail job. People don’t like it when it looks like you don’t iron or covered in dog hair. If anything I felt that when I found you, the apocalypse would have begun. You know me baby-doll, considering my profession I’m all kinds of shallow.

It keeps going back to I don’t want anyone ever to feel like I did or still do? I was thinking about why I wanted to be a father, and while I do “copy” him, I want more money. The thing is I don’t want our children to ever hate themselves because of something I said. To feel so low that they never feel the need to look in a mirror. Heads hung low, minds so dark that they can’t see who they are ever. Looking in their wallets or hiding in words to say, “at least I’m not that evil.” I want pictures on the fridge, notes in lunch boxes and picnic baskets. I want their rooms decorated in all the things they love in life. So I’m back to the point of if I were a rich man. Well, I am, but what do I know about art, dancing, and can you plant black roses, The Hunger Games?

As the song “I just wanna look good for you,” and I should apologize if I’ve made you feel pressured like that My Love. I do love how you sing, though. Again back to my point because if it were up to me, I’d still be looking at blank walls. If it weren’t for you, my life goal would remain to stay here at home. You don’t keep beauty to yourself though; it should be to share with the world. One more reason I became a writer, and everything else fell into place. I don’t need mirrors if my children see me as well, is Superman too much to ask or Black Panther? If you see me and want me, everyone can go to Hell baby-girl. I’m praying I guess to see myself how you and the children see me when I feel so bad.

Who sells the best, my profession, Will Needs A Mirror.

“I’m not sure. But I always read that you had to be OK with yourself first before you could be OK with another person. Now I feel OK with you. But I don’t know how OK I was with myself before I met you, so maybe you’re making me OK.”

“You’re not that OK.”

“OK.”

  • Defending Your Life (1991)

I Will Have No Fear

Log 014 ~Live Or Die, Your Choice~

Get busy living or well you know the alternative right and by now I should have a Master’s in ditch digging, though I truly wish I could be as smart as Jigsaw or even The Origami Killer, it’s more acceptable than my writing. Live Or Die, Your Choice.

Monday, July 15, 2019

Log 014 ~Live Or Die, Your Choice~

Ninety-Third Rule Madam Justice

I AM a Millionaire right now writing something else for my network. As always I dream of Pure Taboo, Fetish Network. The Passion Network, SBJ, TTB, Teen Starlet, and Honey-Cream.com. Don’t mind me and my list though, if I were Arya Stark, it would be more acceptable. Madam Justice that is my point today, the things that make us feel alive. People often look at the moments before death or fighting to stay alive. I’ll admit those work for me as well. Even more so if we’re talking about B III’s life, protecting him always.

It’s too damn easy to talk about the things that Make Me Wanna Die as the song goes. The day job, for example, you think that would be incentive enough to work harder. There are reasons I don’t visit my Olds. Know I rather die than feel STUPID. Even in my novel today. The Beast feared more for others than he does himself, and he knows he deserves death. What about the world as a whole? People live in fear, terror, and hate. We are told to be slaves and to accept it as the will of God. Some choose to die in all manners rather than take the life they were given or even picked. That’s my weakness, The Weapon Of Choice. No, it is in its failure or the fear of such. I still feel the guilt of my crimes, the things even today I continue to commit.

Now when it comes to my writing though Madam Justice, sometimes it’s not even a choice these days. Writings ownership, obligation, and okay. Almost every day, I mention Dennis Hof. He faced accusations of exploiting young women at his Ranches. You know Jimmy Stephens who does what thousands of photographers do. Only his models wear fewer clothes. There are others of course in various methods. I watch Trump, his attempts to destroy for women, and from his people, there is nothing but applause. People are fighting for the right to live to exist and what about me Madam Justice. I struggle to write the words Humping Happens Hannah. There is also Exercising Eager Elizabeth, and Satisfying Sinners Sophia, “wholly” original. I write books that will never see the light of day; I don’t ever live.

I talked about running before, how I hide under layers, I only leave if necessary. I go to the movies, more darkness. Who chooses, can’t I be human and beast; Live Or Die, Your Choice.

I Will Have No Fear