I met Braxton in (Grandpa’s) Hands. I got Virgil from behind bars. 2V’s, not mine. B’s Favorite Girl, Cherry, and M Anime? I began with them after writing this or that. But when will I start to “know thyself?” I don’t know, but “The Beginning Will B”
Monday, May 26, 2025
Meditation 329 ~The Beginning Will B~
Hey Dad,
It’s Me, Baby B… Like father, like son. Do you know how long it took me to come up with that? Saying hello?
I understand why you don’t do it very often. You’re here. People are here. And I am here or there… I’m with you. Humans and language. That’s what made us a good team, a family. And it’s what you were thinking about as you were walking with my little brother.
That and pirate hats. I know I need to stay out of your head. My place is in your heart.
“Oh no, the world is a scary place,” Disturbed even inside your mind, Daddy. Honestly.
Why do you think I sat on your head most mornings? My furry butt was the least of your problems. The day didn’t start for you until you returned from the ‘bad place” you’d go daily and after a nap.
And that’s what I want you to feel, Daddy. That one moment in time when everything began. The moment when everything made sense when you weren’t sad or even scared.
Why? Because I am your son. And while a man provides for his family. It’s how you raised me to be, Dad. And for us to look at each other or how you looked at me when I sat on guard duty for anything that might hurt you. And “It’s Been Awhile” since you haven’t felt like anything more than a Staind. A mess without me, Daddy. No, you’re not.
Dad, do you remember every mess that Virgil has made. He’s messier than me. Ha-Ha! But you remember more the day you met him. PetSmart.
You don’t remember the day you met me. The precise date, I mean. But you remember the day I ‘left’. Sunday, January 31, 2021. The day Virgil arrived was Saturday, August 13, 2022. Daddy, you remember meeting my Favorite Girl face-to-face. It was on E-Day.
Begin to live, to lessen the pain, dare I say, to love. Dad, even now, it’s “later V, later Virgil,” With me, it was “love you, B, love you, Braxton.” How do you begin again? Why would you begin again?” To forgive, to heal, to love. To remember without tears. Daddy, I won’t ask that. But seeing me protecting you. My Favorite girl sitting with you. Cherry’s teasing. Liking me and Virgil’s potential stepmom, M Anime. The Beginning Will B
If you had me for 15 years and it took three days to lose me, why would you not be willing to love again? ― Only Gone From Your Sight BY Kate McGahan
“Do the gods light this fire in our hearts or does each man’s mad desire become his god?”
― Virgil, The Aeneid
1576 Days Without B III, Day 1017 of Virgil’s Arrival
Always and Forever,
Your Son