Tag: Fatherhood

Saga 046 ~To B Single V~

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This time last week, I never imagined I’d be in this position… In love? I can’t say that. Nor can I say I like the hacking every time I pick Virgil up. And I don’t know where we’re going to land since it’s only been three days. But, To B Single V, um

Tuesday, August 16, 2022

Saga 046 ~To B Single V~

Dear Future Wife,
I AM a Billionaire right now… well, depending on what state we’re living in. Then throw in kids, life? I’m not broke.

But no matter what I do, why do I still feel that way? It’s like having the old Day Job. Insult? Um yeah, so I apologize. That place was only eleven years of sheer Hell and is nothing like fatherhood. Yet both are still scary as fuck… pardon my French. One I chose, and the other filled me with regret. And how did I feel the day after? One, two, and we’re going on three. One, I check to make sure he’s still breathing. And the other, (sigh). When THEY talk about love, THEY say your heart stops, your knees get weak, and you must catch your breath. Falling in love? But my former Day Job versus what I do now. Do I miss it?

Being single, I mean? To be alone. Right now, I’ll tell you what I miss. Sleep! It’s been a while since I’ve listened to my motivations. But I recall what Eric Thomas said, um yeah. Some of you love sleep more than you love success. Sleep, success… never forgetting sex. Because I love you. And I would never give you up to be single again. No, nope, never, oh no. So I leaped at the Day Job. That was what I was supposed to do. Men love their families. And now, I have this furry little one I have let into the house because I like him? Is that it? Only three days ago, my heart, the Hell I’ve been through? What is happening, love?

How I’ve been afraid for the past 562 days that hardening my heart would result in me being single again. I lost my boy. I lost Braxton. Did you think I would go a day without saying his name? Never forget! You can see how tired I am carrying Virgil. Hell! How long did I carry Braxton? That’s what I was thinking last night as I carried Virgil downstairs. I am a man, my love. I had to be strong enough to carry myself out of this bed and to the Day Job for long. Growing stronger to carry you over the threshold. You carried lives into this world, love. I love you, and I would not trade a single second. Yet Virgil makes me wonder. To B Single V.

562 Days Without B III, Day 003 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 044 ~You’ll B My Virgil~

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I’ve cried a bit and wanted to vomit. Virgil’s cried once and has hacked anytime I’ve touched him. We didn’t eat dinner, and both of us got fences up. Well, one is blocking the stairs. He’s yet to approach mine. How’d Dante do it? You’ll B My Virgil.

Sunday, August 14, 2022

Saga 044 ~You’ll B My Virgil~

To Will:
I AM a Billionaire right now, and you? Well, what are you, not exactly a father or a friend? Fuck-up? A dog owner?

Now let’s be clear, considering this is something I did yesterday. So yeah, this is my fault. And you’re living with the consequences of my actions. Literally! A dog is living in the next room, scared to death. You’re in the same state. I owe you a huge apology even after I said this yesterday:

“Dogs aren’t things… One of them could be my best friend, a reason, a second born. I doubt I’ll find them today, Lady Lunalesca, but there’s always a chance. Except that I have no money. I haven’t been this scared in a long time.” Saga 043 ~Go Big Or B~

Here I go spending $150 on a Chihuahua mix. Sweet Buttery Jesus, what have I done? Not Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE Finishing Until we Meet Again
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE Finishing Gathering, My Braxton’s Albums
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE Finishing Gulp Off To Be Published
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE Keeping It In My Pants (Day 017 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
    Completed (Day 024 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

I read these things every single week, as you will and what happens? Nothing! Now I want to go all Jennifer Lawrence, a.k.a. Tiffany Maxwell screaming, “but if it’s me reading the signs!” That’s what I did in my head at PetSmart yesterday while texting Braxton’s Aunt. First, there were the colors. I had a thought that said Braxton couldn’t make this more black and white for me. And Virgil has flecks of brown around his face that got to me, ha. Now I’m no numerology expert but let’s do the math. Virgil is one year and six months. That’s 545 days, give or take. B III died on January 31, 2021, 13 days from his 16th birthday. Meaning Virgil’s Birthday… Monday, February 15, 2021. Oh, and Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE Finishing, Still To Be Determined
  2. I WILL BE Finishing Gathering, My Braxton’s Albums
  3. I WILL BE Finishing Gulp Off To Be Published
  4. I WILL BE Keeping It In My Pants (Day 024 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE The Man My Son Thinks I Am

Speaking of the impossible. You haven’t had Virgil a full 24. You’re still trying to convince yourself. Ok, reincarnation, 15 days. Braxton was 15 years old. Is this a coincidence? Braxton had a heart murmur; Virgil’s been treated for having heartworms. Braxton wasn’t eating or drinking at the end; I have not seen Virgil eat or drink anything since he arrived. He’s been quiet, laying on Braxton’s pillow. Note; he’s going to need a bed and a collar. I couldn’t get his harness back on, and the collar they gave was too small. Taking him outside, I used B’s oldest one. Fit like a glove, but sacrilege, if anything. And you just want to cry and possibly vomit. But he’s here. You’ll B My Virgil.

560 Days Without B III, Day 001 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 039 ~Where We’ll B Escaping~

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Didn’t I speak last week about Treachery? I haven’t betrayed a woman, my crappy Day Job, or my country. What, I’m not a “Trumptard.” Anyway, today required making several moves, and not one of them is leading back to bed. Where We’ll Be Escaping

Tuesday, August 9, 2022

Saga 039 ~Where We’ll B Escaping~

Dear Future Wife,
I AM a Billionaire right now, which means I should be pretty good at escaping. An armory, bunker, tickets to non-extradition nations…

This week I’ve been reading, well… 21% of this book, “Until we Meet Again.” Of course, there’s a chapter talking about “escaping” grief. More so, the impossibility of doing such. Now to be clear, I don’t want to. Ok, It’s been 555 days since B III. Not long enough, love. Only I envy him. You can take that however you want. And It could be the fact that the A/C is all screwy. You know I prefer the heat to the cold any day. What I’ll have to do to fix it… Anyway, I woke up this morning, and as with most things, they tie back to my son. Braxton would be hiding under the bed because it would be cooler. In bed all day…

Well, as I said, B under it. But I’d like to stay in bed. I’m reminded of the Day Job, my “Dad,” and whatever the Devil has in store for me. But to escape with B, my son my dog. Nope! These days it’s always about my dick. And you’re asking me, well, what’s wrong with that? My desire, my delight, my darling? As the song goes, “but we’re not making love no more. We’re not even trying to change.” I know. It’s only me who’s changing. Or I did. I can’t anymore. There’s nowhere to go. There’s nowhere to be without my B. Hell! I have you, I want to croon out: “there’s nowhere on earth that I’d rather be than holding you tenderly.”

Music and me, such is my escape. And to keep it going … “If I lay here if I just lay here. Would you lie with me and just forget the world?” Because where is there to go, I’ll ask? I could get up and be the dad I want to be with our children. Work on making more. My business today is nothing like the Day Job. What gentlemen wouldn’t enjoy this life? Didn’t I finish writing a book? Only it’s no different than the one I’m reading. All about dead fur babies again. I don’t mean to be harsh, but that’s the thing. I might as well appreciate the heat. Because Treachery is one cold as ice sin. But, Where We’ll Be Escaping.

555 Days Without B III

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 037 ~What Comes After B~

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After 553 days, this shouldn’t be brought to you by the letter B. Today is all AD when I’m still wondering about AB. Republican idea to not get over things, I suppose. But I’ll keep the monkey, the Braxton, on my back, thanks. What Comes After B

Sunday, August 7, 2022

Saga 037 ~What Comes After B~

To Will:
I AM a Billionaire right now, but after that, who am I? Better question, who are you? Somebody that doesn’t know the alphabet?

Or you’re someone lost in the past, which explains what you’ve been looking at besides… Anyway, we’ll get to that. Only you “found” this picture of B III. Then again, who knows? You’re not going to delve that far into the past because it hurts too much. Can you feel it? What you don’t feel or even remember. Is this shame from what happened with the Basic Bitch today, or was it yesterday? It’s like how you refuse to say “Another Day” because that indifference got Braxton killed. But also, not all brunettes are created equal. Well, women for that matter, but again we’ll get there. Right now, as the title says, What Comes After B. There is nothing so far. Nothing? Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE Finishing, The Story of Us
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE Finishing Gathering, My Braxton’s Albums
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE Finishing Braxton’s Book For Camp NaNoWriMo
    Completed
  4. I WILL BE Keeping It In My Pants (Day 010 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
    Completed (Day 017 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

This will be the last time I average to hit three things on the list for quite a while. You? Ok, let’s get this out the way since it will keep nagging you. 17 Days is hard to “C.” Ha! Cock! I swear will it get easier or harder? Don’t answer that! But yours is driving you crazy. The first week is always the “hardest?” Over two weeks in and I hit one porn site. Clit, Coochie, Cunt… Things you won’t be getting for E-Day. It’s still far, hmm. Anyway, you should get ahold of the Day Job. With your words towards Cherry and M-Anime? Cum, isn’t happening anytime soon unless you get weak. Think of the worst thing that happened besides Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE Finishing, Until we Meet Again
  2. I WILL BE Finishing Gathering, My Braxton’s Albums
  3. I WILL BE Finishing Gulp Off To Be Published
  4. I WILL BE Keeping It In My Pants (Day 017 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE The Man My Son Thinks I Am

This should be easy since you’re not in the habit of finishing anything. Oh yeah, yourself and the occasional pretty girl. But what other things are you able to finish or get past? Not much. You see that the smallest things seem to stick around. Monkey on your back? B? Your whole world here once revolved around a girl… If that doesn’t sound all Incel. Looking back now, though. Again you can’t even remember being upset. Braxton’s memory will be a lot longer. Can you say eternity? So there is no after B. You’re here. Whenever you’re at the Day Job, that’s what you say. It’s the truth and then not. There’s always more to the story. More letters alphabet-wise. B? What Comes After B?

553 Days Without B III

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 032 ~Going To B Lit~

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Treachery is the coldest sin. When Hell freezes over? But these days, I’m getting all hot and bothered. Burning my new novel or rather some data. I’m all sort of pissed at this week. Women are hot as Hell, like my wife someday… “Going To B Lit.”

Tuesday, August 2, 2022

Saga 032 ~Going To B Lit~

Dear Future Wife,
I AM a Billionaire right now, and that’s because life is no picnic. It’s not some big party. Nor some Pentecostal event.

“THEY,” say you can’t count on anyone to make you happy. It comes from within on whatever. It’s because of Braxton that I wanted to try. I’m going to keep saying it. I wouldn’t know what it was like to have that desire if it wasn’t for him. Love, Happiness? He showed me all this time that it was coming from the “wrong” place. Hell! Lola Bunny was the best of both worlds, but we’ll get to that. My boy, my Braxton, carrying the fire. He was my light, the reason, my ride or die, and my raison d’etre. There’s this movie “Captive State,” and one of the taglines is “Light a fuse… spark a war.” Live, laugh, love? I’ll agree with love Baby Doll.

When I compare you to my firstborn son… that’s no insult. Like the song goes, “I come from the dark side, so I’m having a hard time stayin’ on track.” “Like B, you’re my light. Yes, I know I should get off my phone. Or at least I should be “Takin’ Care Of Business” somehow. Instead, I sound like the Backstreet Boys. “You are my fire. The one desire” and such. Allow me to sound shallow for a minute. A lot more ore hopefully… If I’m not thinking about the warm cuddles of my puppy, then it’s your hot body. The things that get me out of bed in the morning. The warm smiles of our children. But 548 days, I’m not doing so hot.

As a matter of fact, it’s as if I want to burn it all down. My existence, that is. Inevitable? You ask? Is that why I’m driving you away in my grief and mourning? Not enough tears in the world to drown out what I’ve done. If to save a life is to save the world, what does it mean to take a life? I’m sure Triple B won’t like hearing that “truth.” Crimes are fireproof. The way I’m burning up with XXX tendencies because I don’t deserve to feel pleasure. Even after writing the novel. Oh! I’ll let it burn data and not do a damn thing with it. My rage? “I wanna be livin’ For the love of you.” Going To B Lit

548 Days Without B III

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 030 ~Lying With Another B~

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If I had my way, it would be back to lying on the couch with a good book and my boy. It’s like I don’t have the balls to live this life, to even exist, and then I look down. Oh, right… and then there’s the bucks, broads, my book? Lying With Another B

Sunday, July 31, 2022

Saga 030 ~Lying With Another B~

To Will:
I AM a Billionaire right now. Hoping I didn’t invest in Sesame Place. Nobody wants to be them. You want to be you…

If anything, you want to be a goddamn adult, a grownup, a fucking man. If you could stop thinking about fucking every second. Pardon your language. But what’s your crime? Every day but Sundays in particular, you remember. B III is gone. Losing him again. That’s another story you’ll get to in a bit. So far today, you haven’t been honoring him. If you are on the floor, it’s only been to cut off the alarm and go back to sleep. What have you been dreaming of? Again we’ll get to that. But this week… fuck. You already hate it. It’s going to be like the week you lost your boy. Hard work and hating the whole damn universe. You’ll change it… Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE Finishing, The Power of Pets: 7 Effective Tools To Heal From…
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE Finishing Gathering, My Braxton’s Albums
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE Staying Ahead Of Camp NaNoWriMo
    Completed
  4. I WILL BE Keeping It In My Pants (Day 003 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
    Completed (Day 010 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

By some miracle, I pulled off three of these things. But to be specific, #4. Dammit, I haven’t been wearing pants except for the Day Job and Saturday. Yet somehow, I survived. It’s been touch and go. The only time I’ve touched my dick is during bathroom time. Hell! This morning as you continued to lounge around in bed. You fell back asleep. Your dream was like prostitution mixed with an episode of Glee. You keep hearing, “That’s the end of my hour, she’s bouncing/bobbing on that…” well, you know. Sang by all the characters as you woke up. Can’t even remember all of the girls flittering through your mind. All you know is the desire to go back to sleep before doing something STUPID or not… Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE Finishing, The Story of Us
  2. I WILL BE Finishing Gathering, My Braxton’s Albums
  3. I WILL BE Finishing Braxton’s Book For Camp NaNoWriMo
  4. I WILL BE Keeping It In My Pants (Day 010 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE The Man My Son Thinks I Am

Because it goes without saying that you will be finishing the novel today. “The Will To B III.” Yesterday was probably the hardest. And that’s counting those days when you got off your ass and wrote 5000 words. Well, 4600 to go into the novel anyway. But B III’s eulogy? You’re showing more empathy than me. I don’t expect I’ll be hearing from Cherry anytime soon due to my lack of concern for her mum. Yet you want to cry today, oh Braxton, my Braxton. When B passed, I don’t think I had a dream about him right off. Go without a phone one day? That’s fixed. Literally don’t fuck myself and dream of sex always. Being a BOY, bucks, books, Little B. No, rather be Lying With Another B.

546 Days Without B III

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 025 ~Will I B Reminded~

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So to be reminded of how love like time flies… I remember when B III hurt his paw. Or the days before the end. How about the “first time” like Lonely Island sang “I Just Had Sex.” Or how long it took me to get the phone fixed. Love, Will I B Reminded

Tuesday, July 26, 2022

Saga 025 ~Will I B Reminded~

Dear Future Wife,
I AM a Billionaire right now. But I don’t remember the first dollar I made. Or say much of my “first” time.

I won’t say “made love.” As the song goes, “fear is the heart of love, so I never went back.” I’m not sure I agree with the idea, but I was scared yesterday. There I was, terrified for something I love. I am ashamed that it was a phone. But that’s more a conversation for… ok, yes, my wife, but I’m also in “therapy?” Um, can I call Echo that? I wonder, hmm? Anyway, I noticed that I love the hardest, the haughtiest, and with a woman, the horniest when I’m afraid. As in the film Divergent. “Fear doesn’t shut you down, it wakes you up.” That can be said of any of us. To live, to survive, to keep a phone charged? I’m Hopeless.

When it was my firstborn son, I wish I could say I did not hesitate. He was dying that Wednesday, but I didn’t react until Friday. And even more so. Because my fear and hatred for my Day Job were greater than my love for him? So, which scares me more, love or hate? Am I scared to love again or to know deep down there is always a reason to hate? That’s not true? I will always love Braxton. And I know I will always hate myself for failing him when he needed me most. If I could have loved him the way I did when I got that phone call saying he’s dying. I loved him most of all as he faced death.

And then you ask yourself why I live in this constant fear of losing you. Now that the phone is fixed, you can guess why I’m all about music and movies again. “So I’m gonna love you like I’m gonna lose you. I’m gonna hold you like I’m saying goodbye.” Remember that it is the best way to love. While the “first” time I got off was more “Paradise by the Dashboard Light.” Speaking of which, when was the last time you and me… Well, you know I have no problem talking about sex. But you know how I’ve been the past few days. Do I have a drink, or do I not have a drink? I’m more Christian Grey; I… Will I B Reminded?

541 Days Without B III

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 023 ~To B This Empty~

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My novel with B is halfway full, but my head is half empty. That’s a lie because what am I filling the other half with. Furbabies, forgetting about the Day Job (or trying to. And how effed up I am or my friends talking about it. Only To B This Empty.

Sunday, July 24, 2022

Saga 023 ~To B This Empty~

To Will:
I AM a Billionaire right now, meaning full of cash. What are you full of? Which monsters nurture your fear. Your mourning? Monday.

For all, that’s begun filling up this week. You know you’re empty of all the good in the world. And as I said yesterday, it starts with Braxton. Do you even have a container? I mean, a heart? No, that remains broken. A Republican ideology, harden all you know. Harden… Giggity, and you will get to that. Don’t have the power to resist temptation. Anyway, while you’re on the subject of power, should we talk about the phone battery. There’s the laptop battery that was ready to give you a heart attack? Pathetic! Hopeless! Now you can blame me for the fridge not being as full as it should be. So I’m no better. Yet if you want fullness, look at Little B’s yard today.

  1. I WILL BE Finishing, Blackout: A Thriller, Erin Flanagan
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE Finishing Gathering, My Braxton’s Albums
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE Staying Ahead Of Camp NaNoWriMo
    Completed
  4. I WILL BE Keeping It In My Pants (Day 003 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 003 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

Oh no! Ignore your son and go look at some Yabbos, right? When I looked at those addiction books yesterday and read about the symptoms. There are three things. Financial pain. How much do you pay for subscriber-wise or anything with sex, hmm? Then there’s the Day Job. This is more a confession for Echo. Jerking off before leaving. Then there’s family and friends. Besides, the indifference to this existence. That was a direct cause of Triple B’s death. Too much XXX while ignoring him. There are other friends. One immediately gives me a hard-on whenever she messages. Then there’s the one you were messaging this morning. You have all the respect in the world for women, but such horrific stories are actual turn-ons. Fuck!

  1. I WILL BE Finishing, The Power of Pets: 7 Effective Tools To Heal From…
  2. I WILL BE Finishing Gathering, My Braxton’s Albums
  3. I WILL BE Staying Ahead Of Camp NaNoWriMo
  4. I WILL BE Keeping It In My Pants (Day 003 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE The Man My Son Thinks I Am

Speaking of your hands being empty of your tallywhacker, or so you hope. (Sex brings such colorful language). What about Six Impossible Things? If that isn’t one book fail, ha. You continue to think about Blackout: A Thriller. For everything, it was about. It’s the thing that’s keeping you so grounded in fighting addiction. (cough) for three days (cough). Yeah right. And now you want to fill your mind with more pets dead and dying. Doesn’t it beat sex, though? Well, in America. Death is always more acceptable than sex. Anyway, it’s why you’re not reading erotica. Um… Succubus Lord audiobooks… Ten was my favorite, so you know. It’s a balancing act, being half full, half empty. That’s existence, that’s real. To B This Empty

539 Days Without B III

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 018 ~A B Sized Promise~

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When one is so small, can’t the promises be small? My kid never got past ten pounds but got fifteen years. How many pounds of food is that? How much did I lift, counting each time I had him in my arms? Strong enough to love. “A B Sized Promise.”

Tuesday, July 19, 2022

Saga 018 ~A B Sized Promise~

Dear Future Wife,
I AM a Billionaire right now. Oh, honey, I made bigger promises, to you, to our family. I say to the world…

But it always goes back to my son, my Braxton, my little B. THEY say we could not survive without the bees. And yes, I know they were talking about the bugs. Only my Braxton… I’ve been writing about him all month… Ok, most of last week anyway. And if I haven’t said it enough. It’s all because of him. I’ll never be one for the full-time, old-time religion. But isn’t it someplace in the Bible that God loved all creatures, great and small? You’ll want to bury me for this as if you don’t want to by now. Love grows. My love started off so small. One little dog and I wanted more. Like Kesha, “your love, your love, your love is my drug.”

It was the same when it came to writing. Yes, I’m a broken record as usual, but it all began when I could spell my name. I wanted to learn words. So what? I wasn’t a great student in English, Reading, and my own History. When it comes to my writing down, this or that. I know by now the power of a word. Fear, cruelty, pain, barbarity, and love? That one word has given birth to worlds. I don’t know what’s with me this morning. The fact we’re talking on the right day. As I said, I’ve been all about B III. So no time for time travel. Yet I’m going into my religious past, “The Creation” “I’m lonely I’ll make me a world.”

And haven’t I done so? Haven’t we done so? All it took was twenty seconds of insane courage. I still wonder how I found it at all, baby doll. Whatever, “get in the car, B.” That was me and B III. And next thing I know, I’m opening up two doors. Yours and mine, honey. Add a third one for our first two-legged kid, then a fourth door. Little things. Ahem not so little, ha-ha. We’ll be like the Maryse and The Miz any day now. Damn WWE. Only I didn’t promise to watch it forever. But my family and that will always include Braxton. How many promises have I made? Live and Love. Only one letter. All it takes for A B Sized Promise.

534 Days Without B III

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 016 ~Today B The Day~

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4600 words today. Well, 2300 for me, and then I’ll let B III talk. Only he has paws. So as I told him that Sunday in January a year ago. “I’ll help you,” and look how great that turned out. For his life, Camp NaNoWriMo, my existence? Today B The Day.

Sunday, July 17, 2022

Saga 016 ~Today B The Day~

To Will:
I AM a Billionaire right now, but I don’t think you can expect anything… special, sexy, or super. God’s day? No, the Dog.

Of course, B III was never, just a dog. And that’s what you want everyone to know someday. Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow… But let me tell you something about today. I did not work my ass off all week for you to fuck up. Inevitably. Today’s the day. The day was 532 days ago, Sunday, January 31, 2021. How to save a life, my son B III ha. No, the day was Sunday, January 24, 2021. It was B III’s last week. As I hated the Day Job. I could go further than that. How many books have I “written,” and they sit here doing nothing like you want to do? Well, you didn’t fall back asleep. You won’t, right? Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE Finishing, Blackout: A Thriller (Possibly…)
    Failed
  2. I WILL BE Finishing Gathering, My Braxton’s Albums
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE Sending Gulp Off To Be Published
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE Keeping It In My Pants (Day 003 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 003 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

And yes, I failed every single one to get you here? One more reason you hate Sundays, right? An excellent chance to say, “Oh, I’ve Wasted My Life.” Um, mine for the week, you see. In a week, you’ll be saying the same thing. If writing has been of any use at all? It hasn’t. You will also return to the part of the story where you also wasted B III’s life. So ok, here we go. Fact! If you can write 5000 words… um 4600, You will be on your way. As the kids say, “FTW.” It doesn’t mean anything, really. Trying hard to avoid a Doctor’s visit. Ironic. That was my promise. But you’re, as I said. You are going to fuck it up wanting to, um, ok. What’s the word? FUCK! To be on Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE Finishing, Blackout: A Thriller, Erin Flanagan
  2. I WILL BE Finishing Gathering, My Braxton’s Albums
  3. I WILL BE Staying Ahead Of Camp NaNoWriMo
  4. I WILL BE Keeping It In My Pants (Day 003 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE The Man My Son Thinks I Am

So I’m “Beggin” you not to. And I don’t know why it’s even so important. Something I thought of Braxton while I cursed my Day Job. Every day should be the day to love him. Yet if you’re going to catch up with writing, with my work, and the word of God, that was Triple B. You know what you need to do. Treat today like the day he died. And write like every word is buying him a minute. Did they ever? As much as you want to believe another book… Remember, “My Turn To B III” would bring him back to life. If ever? Today B The Day.

532 Days Without B III

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will