Tag: Fear

Gospel 066 ~The Plan Will Work~

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What am I doing today? Of course, a conservation today, walking my kid, cleaning up for Existence Day as if I might have company. No, I will have company if I take a chance but first comes faith. The Plan Will Work

Saturday, September 05, 2020

Gospel 066 ~The Plan Will Work~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Billionaire right now, and it would be a miracle. Joe Biden said that no miracle is coming, at least not from on high. Now what have I said about listening to white men about everything… America right? Anyway, while I disagree with some of Morgan Freeman’s views on race. I remember his words in the film Bruce Almighty. Be the miracle. I crawled out of bed before 8:00 AM. Took my Dæmon for walkies. I have been cleaning for three days straight. Then we have next week; Existence Day.

I don’t have any arrangements, Lady Luna. Hell, I have more of an idea of what I’m doing tomorrow than Existence Day. I should also add that my little sister’s “Emergence Day” is the day after my own. Am I comparing my sister to the Locusts from Gears of War? Funny that one of my Existence Days would take place in a hospital, well, of course, didn’t the first one ha, ha. I’ve always talked about if terminators existed, I would send one through time. Is there a chance that I could go all “Looper?” Keeping up movie-wise, hmm? I would be glad if you were dear Lady Lu. I’ve been thinking about something, well since last night; delusions of grandeur as they may be. Again, me and my pride to be a ladies’ man, a businessman, right. Staying Alive?

There are two girls, one hinting at reconciliation, another I shouldn’t mention now. I have two days to figure something out. Indeed, only today. Both mothers and would have no time, and yet I’m here. I shouldn’t be wasting my time, but I know the truth of all this, Lu. I don’t want to spend Existence Day alone. Now the other side of the coin, I don’t want to shut the door entirely, and of course, I need the Day Job. Sure, I have my Dæmon. I expect to hear from Indiana Gone. Yet, I won’t even tell M. Anime. Like I’ll see her Yabbos. Somehow though, I have this idea about MILF Tres, aka Special K, and she who will not be named. OKAY won’t say anything, and I want to cut my phone off because I don’t want to hear from my Olds.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1CzqU2Q-wiMhttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LmJ95_6qN6o

I’m Lord Give Me A Sign. I need to hear better men. Man In The Mirror… The Plan Will Work.

I Will Have No Fear

Gospel 065 ~Will Protests Neighborhood Donations~

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I never come back and read my work; unless I’m looking for a name for a woman who works in um “entertainment.” Anyway, a woman was asking for donations to fix the sign in the neighbor the other day and… Will Protests Neighborhood Donations.

Friday, September 04, 2020

Gospel 065 ~Will Protests Neighborhood Donations~

Hey Lady Sophia,
I AM a Billionaire right now, well t-minus 3 days. Do you remember when I would play PCH every day, and all of a sudden, they were headed in this direction? I spent that day believing I won the grand prize. Of course, I didn’t, some lady did, but C’est la vie. I talk an awful lot about giving some women my money. It doesn’t matter if I’m cleaning, paying for my Dæmon’s meds, or if the chicks are animated. Yes, I’m still bankrolling plenty of artists. Nagoonimation, Niisath, and others, best not mentioned. Making a difference?

I didn’t cut a check or sign a money order for the sweet lady in the neighborhood. You know me, Lady Sophia, I can for damn sure write excuses. Now I meant to call Wednesday but my “father.” Yesterday I was slothful and let time wind down, without caring ever. How entertaining it is watching the Trump peons stumble over themselves. It’s inspiring to watch people stand-up for themselves. Hell, I even believe in the cause and have been waiting for this for… “What’s My Age Again?” So, where are my protests signs? Donations to the cause. I am sitting at over $1,000. I had more but did I mention how much I hate Serra Hyundai. A story for another time. I could be supporting Biden and Harris. Where’s my Black Lives Matter merch? Why aren’t I fighting against injustice?

Well, I write atrocities, so there’s that. The world is getting worse, and all I can think about is the worst day of my life coming up. If I’m not talking to you, Lady Soph, I’m writing the worse crimes because they turn me on. The things I like that I can’t; it still sucks. Honestly, you know how I feel about charity. No, I’m not talking about Charity from Passions. Nor Charity Zoey Mars from my latest novel, the beautiful blonde UK vixen. I want to help, only at the same time, there’s so much money worldwide. Why is it left to me always? Humanity believes I don’t care, but what have I told you a million times over. If Melody Parker shows up wearing a MAGA hat, I’ll vote Trump. I would have paid anything to see MILF Dos’s Yabbos again. Sex workers are mad at Bella Thorne.

Yabbos, I read and write, but Will Protests Neighborhood Donations.

I Will Have No Fear

Gospel 064 ~Something Will MAID Up~

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Last week it was schoolgirls, and today it was maids. Now I could use both, but if pressed, at the moment I could use a maid because I’m tired as all Hell and that Hell is coming in a few days “The Day.” Something Will MAID Up or my parents

Thursday, September 3, 2020

Gospel 064 ~Something Will MAID Up~

WARNING, 18+, READER DISCRETION ADVISED

Come In Dirty Diana,
I AM a Billionaire right now, hopefully before I’m married. Who knows my wife may understand my business? Not to sound like an asshole, but she may clean up after me. She may even speak Spanish, not that it’s a requirement. Now with maids well, if she cleans well and is hot as Hell, I can give her a job. To be honest, and I’ve spoken of this often enough, I drove away my last maid wanting to see her without her pants. More to the point, get into her pants SIGH, Okay. Today should be “happy” but T-Minus four days.

I talked to Inspector Echo yesterday about how I’m not “knocking boots,” “playing twenty-toes,” or the like. No, Dirty Diana, I’ve been on a cleaning kick. Do you remember “The DAY” I felt Okay up on the loveseat as we watched Twilight: Eclipse. Later on, I watched movies with Indiana Gone. Now that was the best DAY ever. Of course, you know what I want to do. I got two days off from the Day Job. I hate everybody there. But if there’s moaning involved, let it be Jade Jantzen, Ariela Ramera, or Ariella Ferrera.

Yes, I got all into fucking the Latina maid some time ago. I still hate my “father,” but he was right; I should have taken Spanish, and I did later, but I went to French class before that. Can’t speak either, but besides English, my second language says Money Talks.

Bella Rose, Abbey Rain, Mia Rose. Not that the lot of them required money, scene wise. One lost a bet, Abbey needed her hotel job, and who cares, Mia Rose is fucking perfect. She’s in my top five. I’ve already confessed, I clean the house before the maid gets here. The last girl I asked to clean well… yeah, I’m a bad man, I’m a bad, bad man. So seeing as how the next time we chat will be after “Existence Day,” thank you, M Anime. I continue to ask why am I going through all of this trouble. You should see how packed my coffee table is. It would freak out any woman the layers of filth. Oh, I don’t mean levels of dust.

I might be back to time-traveling so as not to work on Existence Day. Something I can blame on my Olds. Something Will MAID Up

I Will Have No Fear

Gospel 063 ~When Will Cleans House~

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I was a “Hero,” before and this week, I’m only the janitor of the house, and while I wish it was for a good cause. Nah, my Old Man is coming. Hope, I don’t die. My lil sis was in quarantine, and now my Father wants to drop by? When Will Cleans House?

Wednesday, September 2, 2020

Gospel 063 ~When Will Cleans House~

Forgive Me Echo,
I AM a Billionaire right now, which means I can afford a maid. I’ll admit I drove my last cleaning lady away, asking to see her Yabbos. That’s embarrassing enough. How about my BFF Indiana Gone? When she would come over, I went into a freaking cleaning frenzy. Hell, she told me once that she liked my shrimp pasta, and if I made her some, she’d give me a blowjob. Will he cook, will he clean, will he order takeout, options? All the above. Which brings me to today. The best maid in the world is a man thinking he’ll get laid.

What have I been doing instead of talking to you? I’m proud to say I’ve never been given a swirly. However, this morning I had my head in two toilets. I washed the dishes, cleared out some sex toys. As we speak, I should still be at it. Of course, My Dæmon is all confused. He misses Indiana Gone as do I. Talk about one in a million, and I still speak to her, that’s something. Now before I get into Yabbos or make another mess, I can’t help but contemplate what it takes for me to get it up… to clean. I swear I have been sitting in squalor for months. Inspector Echo, the plague is still upon us, the Coronavirus (COVID-19). It’s like donning clean underwear just in case you die. If I kept talking to MILF Tres, I would have gotten around to doing something sooner. Now we have what I can’t talk about at all, Echo.

Death, though, my “father” is coming over today with a mattress. If he shows up, it might as well be with a coffin. A sad state of affairs, believing he is trying to kill me and so close to The DAY. My sister was in quarantine, and now my “father” wants to show up, hmm?

One way or another, it looks like I’ll end up on my back. Am I getting my house in order? Once again, I have the time. Only on top of cleaning and chatting away, I’m burying myself in depravity. I’ve been commenting on a new English girl because ain’t nobody thinking about Cherry. There’s been drooling around the Boobless Wonder and Tifa Lockhart. Damn, they both remind me of “HER.”

Doubt “Dad” will check my laptop or closet, stuff, and thangs… When Will Cleans House.

I Will Have No Fear

Gospel 062 ~Willing To Say Anything~

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Last week I said something about people disappearing, and I don’t need the usual magic words. If you ever read what I write, it’s like Spinelli and Maxie all over again. You know, from General Hospital years ago? Willing To Say Anything to not be me.

Tuesday, September 1, 2020

Gospel 062 ~Willing To Say Anything~

Dear Future Wife,
I AM a Billionaire right now, which could make me a Republican or at least a fan. No, never, as the song goes, I’ll Be (the greatest fan of your life.) Yes, I know it’s getting kind of late, and I can’t say I’m an expert at pillow talk or speech period. One more reason I’m a writer and this. I write to test out everything I want to say and to learn what I shouldn’t. Being your man and all, I know plenty of things a woman says when she’s annoyed. There are things a man shouldn’t forget. Then there’s these.

When you say nothing at all. Damn, I want to tell you everything, but I’m still afraid of how it will look. If I say nothing, then I know I can’t screw anything up, and I never mastered that courtly love concept. If you say nothing, then you’re like all the rest in my life. Obsessed with that idea, right? Baby girl, I believe love is a chemical, a drug, an obsession. You’ve seen all these people breaking up during the plague era who can’t stand to be around each other for ten minutes. I said I would share my life, and I mean it. My soul is in my writing. Do you know what it’s like to have it be seen and tossed aside like so much garbage? That’s why it takes forever for me to let you see it. I want you to be better, I want you to say something, please anything.

I tell you I love you, and you know that the phrase is used far too often. Hell, I shared one of my first books with a woman, and that scared her off quick. Such was her vanity, or so I believe. I don’t mean to complain, but how am I going to get to sleep tonight. Well, besides doing that, ha. Again the things I want to say to you, My Love or more to the point, do to you. It still surprises me that you haven’t left. There’s this movie I saw once. It’s about an artist who got married but lost his spark because his wife didn’t understand him or his work. Slaves To Passion, I guess. If I could tell you everything though… Stay With Me.

Let My Baby Stay, I pray. Willing To Say Anything.

I Will Have No Fear

Gospel 061 ~What If Once Isn’t Enough~

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Someone said, “I’ll try anything once” now, I can’t say I exactly live by that myself, but if I strike out three times, I’ll walk away. Yes, says that man that is going on ten attempts and around 36 days come… um, nevermind. What If Once Isn’t Enough

Monday, August 31, 2020

Gospel 061 ~What If Once Isn’t Enough~

Hundred And Fifty-Second Rule

Madam Justice,
I AM a Billionaire right now, but I would never spend a dime on baseball. Nor would I pay anything for basketball, football, soccer, and the list goes on. Sure, I like nachos and a well-cooked hotdog, peanuts, and Icees, but I hate sports. Not all sorts, mind you. There are no Olympics this year, and I paused wrestling for our chat. Now I love movies. I went to see Black Panther at least four times. Yes, still thinking about Chadwick Boseman. Back to something HAPPY … Yabbos.

Wait, we’re not supposed to be speaking about those. Didn’t I say something about learning my lesson? Of course, you know I’ll talk about Yabbos forever, but HUT ONE, HUT TWO, HUT THREE, HUT! Yes, I know the difference between baseball and football, but I prefer music. Shame on a Nigga by the Wu-Tang Clan to be specific. Anyway, my point is I fucked up (pardon my language), and I’m not going for four. Only I want to Madam Justice. I continue to lose friends left and right like something off that movie Unfriended. I give myself too much credit that I could be a good man, but here I am, an open book. The battle cry of say his or her name and I don’t speak ill of the dead. If I talk to the living, I would be a horrible person once again.

Here I am talking about screwing up for the fourth time, but my madness and rage are constant. Fire is the only thing getting me through the Day Job because my fear threatens to overflow. How is it that I walk into Hell again and again, and I swear I know it? It’s like choosing to FAP with the knowledge of what I will feel afterward. Yeah, even now, before speaking to you, I was looking for Ariella Ferrera. A reminder of you know who as Momokun is of Cherry. As far as Milf Tres goes, now she was the easiest to forget, I admit.

“The Day” is almost here, and how many times has it been 36? Hell, how have I ever made it this long? Of course, each year, The Day shows that I must like something about this place but what hmm?

Yabbos seeing them again, but what is the meaning of life? Seek out a kingdom, make god bleed, love Madam? What If Once Isn’t Enough?

I Will Have No Fear

Gospel 060 ~Willing To Be Disappointed~

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Looks like my Bipolar instincts are at it again, last week was smiling. For this one, well, I can’t say I have seen many happy people, but I only want one and my furry kid as always. Willing To Be Disappointed

Sunday, August 30, 2020

Gospel 060 ~Willing To Be Disappointed~

To Will:
I AM a Billionaire right now, but you are gearing up for disappointment. What the Hell were you thinking this morning? More like what was I thinking last night, since it hasn’t been twelve hours yet. What time is it again, and you’re where? How about how do you feel right now. Disheveled, discombobulated, a bit disappointed? Yeah, the D has already popped out once since Freya Tingley in No Way to Live (2016). Talk about a message in a sex scene. While you can’t imagine no Yabbos ever, what can you live with?

The Day Job SIGH. I ask you again, where are you? How did you waste all this time that you had, and you didn’t look at your novel? Of course, you’re going to “be tha first one to bomb and cuss” as Tupac put it. Still, you have only yourself to blame. My damned entertainment because, well, I didn’t finish everything in The Walking Dead. I thought you would wake up this morning. So much for the “Starbucks theory” as you drank it, had a bite, and after a half-hour of Call me a LEGEND, you fell asleep. Disappointment again is the primary emotion. I remember being back in school so “in love” with you know who. I can’t live without her yeah right, but every day I was a failure, and every week there’s Six Impossible Things:

  1. I AM Keeping It In My Pants (Day 012 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 001 No Fap)
  2. I AM Always The “Father” My Dæmon Deserves
    Failed
  3. I AM Sending Gulp Off To Be Published
    Failed
  4. I AM Reviewing Raphael By Tillie Cole
    Failed
  5. I AM Going To Bed Before Midnight
    Failed
  6. I AM Finishing The Manual: What Women Want and How to Give It to Them by W. Anton
    Failed

Do you need even more failures? Here’s what we can’t talk about. If anything, it was scrapping my NO FAP 19-day streak that kept me from doing something stupid. Saying hello? On with the music, “But I’m a creep, I’m a weirdo,” so you keep quiet right now. Still, the neighbor lady wouldn’t have that. It’s an excuse I know but maybe having to call her back after leaving a note on my door. Wasn’t that all sorts of “particular” of me, and now you have to face more at the Day Job as I didn’t finish my book. Not reading or writing ever, ha. Only I’m no showman. No, you’re not like Chadwick Boseman. If you died today, no one would care. I don’t mean to be so bleak but only factual, which if I learned anything is not always wanted. Like Six Impossible Things:

  1. I AM Keeping It In My Pants (Day 001 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
  2. I AM Always The “Father” My Dæmon Deserves
  3. I AM Sending Gulp Off To Be Published
  4. I AM Reviewing Raphael By Tillie Cole
  5. I AM Going To Bed Before Midnight
  6. I AM Finishing The Manual: What Women Want and How to Give It to Them by W. Anton

So do I have any final advice or sage wisdom? Keep your pants on but be Willing To Be Disappointed.

I Will Have No Fear

Gospel 059 ~Will You Be King~

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First, Rest In Power Chadwick Boseman, I saw plenty of his movies and Black Panther at least four times. Now, of course, I’m plenty selfish too, so today I’m not so much an open book, I’ve learned my lesson. Will You Be King?

Saturday, August 29, 2020

Gospel 059 ~Will You Be King~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Billionaire right now, but he was more. Chadwick Boseman, he was a star, a legend, even a king. Lady Luna, he was Andre Davis, Thurgood Marshall, the Black Panther, King T’Challa. Now he’s gone. May he Rest In Power. I had to say something.

Can I go back to being a prick because the last 24 hours have been sad enough? Hell, it hasn’t even been that long, but Friday was something else. I must confess that as much as I would like to, I can’t even share it all, and do you know why. Call it hope, maybe faith?

I saw something yesterday, and I’m going to have to pretend I didn’t. The moment I entertain the possibility if I should ever give it voice? My Lady, how many times has there been wailing and the gnashing of teeth? Again I was reading W. Anton, and this goes against everything he teaches, but I refuse. Yes, I lack the courage, but I have learned from history. Better to be a live chicken than a dead duck. I am no king or even a hero. Let me be but a simple kind of man.

Every day I’m closer to being an older one, and I ask, what have I done with my life? I watched It’s A Different World “It’s Greek To Me” that fraternity Kappa Lamda Nu. My whole family has pledged. Yeah, my Mom and my sister are Deltas. Dad is an Omega. You won’t believe me, but I’m fine by myself, but damn I don’t speak to my blood kin hm. It’s strange though that nobody would know if I win and everyone will tell me about it if I lose. I mean look Lady Lu, again I created a whole “cathouse” so I could complain.

Only now, I join so many in the world in mourning, and that is my connection. I can’t speak of affection or of joy. No, I can’t say anything about excitement because what happens then? Lady Lu, I am a good man with a good heart. Usually, I would laugh at that, but now I want to cry. I want to be a billionaire, a king, and I don’t know how to do both, be “decent,” and have my power. Chadwick Boseman did his way.

Yet one more unanswered question. SIGH Will You Be King

I Will Have No Fear

Gospel 058 ~Will’s General Day Passions~

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Last week I asked the question, what inspires you, well besides the usual and you know I wish I could I say money but here I am still sitting in bed. Um, I have time to watch soap operas, only I’m staying off that horse “Will’s General Day Passions.”

Friday, August 28, 2020

Gospel 058 ~Will’s General Day Passions~

Hey Lady Sophia,
I AM a Billionaire right now, damn that will. My apologies for the swear, but second the reference might escape you. It’s from The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air, their “Damn That Lazlow!” Now I was pretty big on soap operas um once upon a time. Yeah, I want to bang Lexi Ainsworth and Haley Pullos. Do you know Kelly Monaco was in Playboy? The only thing I’ve been reading since it’s on my coffee table; at least the Eileen Kelly cover. What about collecting a decade’s worth of Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issues?

Okay, so do I need more excuses for not doing what I need to do? Again while I did watch soap operas, I have never seen an episode of Days of Our Lives. I did watch Passions and General Hospital. Both became more of a chore than a form of joy, by God the stress. That’s why I’m always on the search for pleasure. My how I so wish you were the first person on my mind this morning. Lady Sophia, that’s not even me. I’m nowhere near being the best daddy, but you know my Dæmon, my firstborn is my alpha and omega. Yet Hell is where I’m going. With all the soap opera starlets I want in my bed, every day begins with porn. A guy thanked me for a tip on Teen Kasia. Of course, another plaid skirt came calling, Kristen Scott in Back To School. Bella Throne scammed her fans… nudity.

I’m about to be a year older, um, okay, so I’ve been reading W. Anton. As much as I would like to, I won’t finish “that” thought. Hell, let me stop myself. Before, I start treating Yabbos like “champagne wishes and caviar dreams.” My stories to tell. Not like the ones I imagine each and every night, which usually go like this. Like Hanna, “I’ll do better next time.” The Hanna that would get me into some trouble but what I’ll agree with Trump on… Russian women. He wants my vote, Melody Parker Bipartisan Bonage. I told M. Anime the yesterday, she must be sick of me bringing sex into everything. Yeah, Lady Sophia, a girl mentions sex slaves, and I’m wrong. Anyway, why aren’t I working on my novels then? What about Gulp? How about writing HAPPY once, honestly?

Night’s for Fairy Tales, but days, Will’s General Day Passions.

“People think focus means saying yes to the thing you’ve got to focus on. But that’s not what it means at all. It means saying no to the hundred other good ideas that there are. You have to pick carefully. I’m actually as proud of the things we haven’t done as the things I have done. Innovation is saying no to 1,000 things.”
Steve Jobs

I Will Have No Fear

Gospel 057 ~A Class In Will~

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The power of a plaid skirt, plain white kneesocks, pigtails, and I could go on, but for now, I’ll say I’m having a better day, “researching,” um yeah. Hell, if they gave a class called adult entertainment, I would have had all A’s. “A Class In Will.”

Thursday, August 27, 2020

Gospel 057 ~A Class In Will~

WARNING, 18+, READER DISCRETION ADVISED

Come In Dirty Diana,
I AM a Billionaire right now, which means I can hire the best doctors. Yet all I need is some “Sexual Healing” at the moment. To be honest, I’ve reached that point in NO FAP, where I want to offer MILF Dos $500. I’ve also been looking at pictures of Cherry again. Anything to take my mind off of reality these days. Fuck Dirty Diana, what was I doing at seventeen… um, don’t answer that. The point is I never killed anybody, only I’m still considered the bad guy, never a “bad boy,” sometimes a Bad Man. An idea, School Glaze.

That’s what I wanted to name our talk today, but I showed “class?” Not in the least, but I am still so afraid. Yeah, and I want to be a pornographer. It doesn’t work if you don’t have a shit ton of money. Okay, that’s a lie, but let’s talk about happy things, like schoolgirls.

“That’s what I love about these high school girls, man. I get older, they stay the same age.” Wooderson: Matthew McConaughey, Dazed and Confused (1993)

Last week I talked about some of my favorite black schoolgirls, and yes, I’m repeating myself. Lacey Duvalle “How Convenient…,” Jenna Foxx “My Sister’s Hot Friend.” Cassidy Banks, “Teachers Assistant Gets Fucked.” Now I didn’t know Jenna Foxx actually did schoolgirl. Until I found “Teens Gone Wild” RealityJunkies, I Don’t Believe You Scene 1. Dirty Diana, this goes to show two things. One, if you want my full concentration, it better involve Yabbos. Two, a great compliment is caring enough to see them once more.

Hell, isn’t that how I lost MILF Tres? I cared enough to reveal my soul and what… she thought I was in love with her? We’re on ten girls Dirty Diana and how many of them did I say, I Love You? Only two, the first two The D and Sweetness. That’s like 20%, right?

“I stopped chasing every chick under the sun many moons ago
so pretend my dick is a balloon and blow
cause you better put a fork in it if you think I’mma lay here just spooning yo
oh you think you the shit ’cause I just said you were beautiful” Eminem, Echo Bad Meets Evil

Before I get all mean and nasty AHEM, how about wanting to fuck Parvin and Zoi “Testing It All.” What about Dakota Skye “Come To My Room” and Little Val. I swear there is something about these petite girls. Did I ever tell you about the time I figured Little Lupe would get me arrested?

Since I’m no longer talking about schoolgirls, what about Momokun and Tifa Lockhart. I still imagine Momokun’s Yabbos are Cherry’s. She wants guys to think of her as a young schoolgirl and her Mum wow.

So yeah class, did you learn… A Class In Will.

I Will Have No Fear