Gospel 183 ~Bang And A W…~

Some people want life to be a musical or rock opera, maybe a rom-com. Personally, I want mine to be a video game or a porno. It’s been “Cyberpunk 2077” but not on the PS5, if you know what I mean. Bang And A W… hopefully next year

Thursday, December 31, 2020

Gospel 183 ~Bang And A W…~

WARNING, 18+, READER DISCRETION ADVISED

Come In Dirty Diana,
I AM a Billionaire right now, and a fucking dominant. Yeah, I mean that as both nature and action. Now I like being in control. That’s why I learn all I can. Also, much like Ariela Ramera in “Dirty Latina Maids” (a personal fave), “I Love To Fuck.” Um, this year… As I confessed yesterday, I haven’t had sex at all this year. I’m feeling like Jamie from Claire Thompson’s “No Safeword.” There hasn’t been anything sexy, and yet everyone got fucked. Damn, I’ve had my cock in my hand much too often. New Year’s Resolutions?

Of those, I made last year “Log 188 ~Bold, Willing, And Able~” which was 13 total. I accomplished three, giving me a year’s score of 27.9% out of 120%. Oh, if that ain’t an F. Christian Grey said that he fucks hard. What can I say? Today deserves better, Diana. Only should I give you my Fuck-It List in one way or another. Dear Dirty Diana, if I told you every sexual act I wanted to commit, we might never leave. It would be worse if I told you everything I don’t want to do in life. Look at my Pinterest boards, oh yeah, locked. Much like Dennis Hof, I wouldn’t stop until I was in the ground, but at least today, I’ll give you the rundown. Um, at least three of my Resolutions were all about my dick. That’s surprising. Seeing how I still like the song Thirteen Women (And Only One Man In Town), they’ll be Thirteen goals.

  1. I AM Visiting The Moonlite Bunny Ranch
  2. I AM Taking A Tour Of Several Brothels
  3. I AM Producing An Adult Film For Sale
  4. I AM In A Relationship or Sleeping With A Girl At Least Once A Month
  5. I AM Having Sex In A Public Space
  6. I AM Having Sex With Sisters, Separate And Together
  7. I AM Participating In An Orgy
  8. I AM Adding A Movie On An Adult Site
  9. I AM Purchasing A Sex Doll
  10. I AM Selling An Erotic Novel
  11. I AM Having Sex While Busy, (Blow Job Under The Table, Driving, Sex In A Closet)
  12. I AM Trying One Of My Soft Limits
  13. ???

Yet today, as the year ends, I’m trying to keep it in my pants… But no Bang And A W…

I Will Have No Fear

Gospel 182 ~Humiliation’s A Number Will~

One day I swear I’m going to sit in a room and type all day, pocket my cash, and send an army of mercs to silence anybody sending me spam… well, that got dark pretty quickly. “Humiliation’s A Number Will,” and next year I want it to be zero

Wednesday, December 30, 2020

Gospel 182 ~Humiliation’s A Number Will~

Forgive Me Echo,
I AM a Billionaire right now, so um, I still hate Math? Considering I’ve taken no sick days or vacation days. There’s the concept of dinner around here, becoming a big event. I have a yearly eye exam, which is the extent of my medical care. Yep, I still hate my teeth. Okay, say it with me, “This Is America,” how about I am a “Real American.” You’ll have to excuse me, Inspector Echo. The Stimulus Talk and my usual complaints, numbers have been on my brain. With enough cash, humiliation doesn’t matter, enough not to count.

Let’s start with me and My Dæmon. I’m 36, goddammit, my son’s 15. Now I’m trying to stay clean, Inspector Echo when I talk to you, but I’ll put the question out there. When’s the last time I’ve had sex? Meanwhile is the Dæmon living the life, meds, food, yes… However, he could have more, but where’s the money going? Let’s say I’m “supporting” three artists. Depends on how you define art. I can’t tell you how much I’ve spent on the random “expressions.” Or how about the money that went towards “Capital A” SIGH. Well, make more money, you say; how long have I been at the Day Job? Nine years, Inspector, taking orders. And each and every day there, I’m either depressed, destructive or damned. What about all the money I paid to not publish a book now?

I mentioned Capital A, but how many women have stopped talking to me this year alone? I’m going to say three, but even that’s a shot in the dark. Better to keep my mouth shut, but tomorrow, of course, is The Closing of the Year. Pop Culture is much served. While fighting off my addictions. You know within Six Impossible Things, “5 Days” so far. Doing everything to keep my mind occupied, and you see how that’s going. Remember, I had to wipe my phone of such and such, still leaving six thousand pictures altogether. Again I think about writing three NaNoWriMos between two camps and November. Four hundred words daily for the year is around 146,000 or nearly three NaNoWriMos. Not one dollar earned doing what I love still.

Before I forget, two Pinterest accounts are gone. Another “explicit” account wrecked. More sugar daddy/momma accounts blocked between Whisper and Goodreads. Big numbers Inspector Echo still Humiliation’s A Number Will.

I Will Have No Fear

Gospel 181 ~A Happy New Will~

I have no clue what I would want once I found love, well to protect that love, of course, but once I have Jeff Bezos’s bank account and a woman to share it with, and 5.5 kids would I be HAPPY? A Happy New Will, can’t I just be happy now, a long story

Tuesday, December 29, 2020

Gospel 181 ~A Happy New Will~

Dear Future Wife,
I AM a Billionaire right now, but that doesn’t make me a great man or a good one. Most days, I would settle for alright. Remind me, when I’m done with “Into The Badlands” to watch “Firefly” again if you got that reference. Today though, I’ve been thinking about “Equilibrium.” I mean, I hate fireworks, the Dæmon and I both. I don’t drink much; ask my BFF about that. Staying up till midnight is usual for me, so no coffee required, eww.

Complaining and lies are habits I should leave in 2020, right? There are fireworks between the two of us, ha-ha. When we take the kids, minus the Dæmon, to see them at Disney World (ahem) Tradition!!! That will be one of those times I’ll have to be just Dad, hmm? Maybe the two of us can dance beneath the sky to a little “Drunk On You,” which is all I’ll ever be. I think it’s rather strange that I want to be a stand-up guy, a superhero. Yeah, and a million other things, and yet I get weak in the knees, butterflies with you even now. Staying awake is no longer a problem when I’m living my dreams, you know. I also don’t intend on sleeping even after midnight, if you know what I’m saying. Yes, the kids are still around, so keeping it clean.

Anyway, you know how I am with being HAPPY, forever, and always. I’m glad, I’m satisfied, hell I even talked about being good. Geez, many years ago, it was always another day. One more year, one more day didn’t make a difference “Endure and Survive.” However, here we are at “The Closing of The Year.” Should I cool it with the music and movie musings? You tell me I better not, right? So how will I be a better man than the one that I am at the moment? I’m the man that is currently planning my first book of the new year. What will be my first song? Of course, there are some things I want to remain. Kissing You, not that I keep track, but there’s always room for one more kiss. A night in your arms. We’re counting how many kids already?

Looks like I’m entering the new year as confusing as ever, but happy is different. Happy is good, happy works okay, A Happy New Will.

I Will Have No Fear

Gospel 180 ~Don’t Be Fated To Lies~

I’m sensing a pattern when it comes to my body these rules. Today is more like what I allow into my mind, heart, and soul. I do plenty to protect my eyes, and I always have my earphones in, and why is that. “Don’t Be Fated To Lies,” I can’t hear you.

Monday, December 28, 2020

Gospel 180 ~Don’t Be Fated To Lies~

Hundred And Sixty-Eighth Rule

Madam Justice,
I AM a Billionaire right now, and that’s not a lie. In a way, I look at it as having less than $20.00 in the bank. The money is there, only I can’t access it yet. I could tell you what’s in my closet right now. Let’s say that I’m missing a few essential parts; that’s all, ha. However, I have never been one for the philosophy of AHEM, “Fake it till you make it.” On the other side of the coin, why believe that I’m doomed when it comes to going to work? Worse is walking around like Faith Seed. “I know you’ve heard stories about me.”

As always (sigh), I want to apologize for being so down, but that’s the thing. The new year is almost here, and for right now, there’s no story to tell. Now I could say that’s because of time-travel. It’s still the 27th… this week will be hard. My parents didn’t tell stories. To be fair, I would choose nothingness over the things they say at the Day Job. Say it with me, Madam Justice “Humiliations Galore.” How many fights have I had with one of my managers “silently.” Will didn’t say that. Now he wishes you would shut the fuck-up. My little Dæmon sits here without a word, yet I know I could be a better dad. So what I carry him downstairs. I pay for his heart medication, and he convinced me to give him hot dogs along with treats. He sleeps in my bed nightly. Yeah, I’m a pretty crappy father, aren’t I?

I won’t lie to you, Madam Justice. “Lies of Omission?” Okay, yes, but the things that make me feel Muy Bueno, like a million bucks or even blissful. Remind me to shop Amazon for a new outfit. Anyway, those things people say are BAD. Those people, I believe, are liars. At least that’s what I want to speak. With my OLDS, I want to say that I do exist. They would fire back, “yeah, your name is on these bills.” I sound like an ungrateful bastard, don’t I? Pardon my French this afternoon. More importantly, pardon their lies about me. I should now have this conversation with the man in the mirror. His lies are the hardest because he goes out and listens to everyone. The Devil Is A Lie. Don’t Be Fated To Lies.

I Will Have No Fear

Gospel 179 ~Will’s Excellent New Year~

I can’t remember my last “excellent adventure.” Only what’s remained constant this year? Masks. Have I mentioned masks sort of rule? As for next year, protect the puppy, get published, and there’s another “P” somewhere. Will’s Excellent New Year

Sunday, December 27, 2020

Gospel 179 ~Will’s Excellent New Year~

To Will:
I AM a Billionaire right now, but will you be, come the new year? Honestly, I should have put more thought into this, but I was too busy thinking of a novel title yesterday. You’re writing something about Christmas… More like still reading something. Any more accomplishments this year? The Dæmon is alive, looking at sweet sixteen come February. You’re still working at the Day Job and this week (shudders). Yeah, now tell me why you want to go back to sleep? Oh, you’ve read 102 days straight.

Although, like Ahmed Ibn Fahdlan (Eben), “The 13th Warrior.” You have squandered your days with plans of many things. Even now, writing what has gone on in the past. Well, writing actually continues past, present, and future. Next year will be no different in this. Presently SIGH, like yesterday, you’re sitting in bed having this conversation. You don’t drink coffee, and the tea already expired (not that it ever stopped you.) Well, you have hot chocolate. The Dæmon is bathed in sunlight. Oh, and don’t forget about that $300 bill. Held by the future is you should continue your gun drills. How about cutting up all those plastic rings, so the animals don’t get stuck? If the world doesn’t end come the 1st, 6th, 20th, you should go find gifts for your sweet two. And yeah, there’s Six Impossible Things:

  1. I AM Keeping It In My Pants (Day 010 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 002 No Fap) Onna Kyoushi, “Honoka Toudou”
  2. I AM Always The “Father” My Dæmon Deserves
    Failed
  3. I AM Sending Gulp Off To Be Published SIGH
    Failed
  4. I AM Editing Anything Of My Current Works
    Partial Completion
  5. I AM Writing A New TWD Guild Intro
    Failed
  6. I AM Finishing Baby It’s Cold Outside by Dani Wyatt
    Completed

Speaking of two things that I could get done this week. If anything, your new resolution should be to complete Impossible Things. I would tell you, but that would make you a “bad boy.” Only you want to be a “good man.” So yeah, I’ll share those with Dirty Diana. Do you believe 2021 will be any different than 2020? There’s a song that goes, meet the new boss, same as the old boss. You’ve heard me talk often enough about avoiding listening to these old white guys. And yesterday, I mentioned Ernest Hemmingway.

Excellence, though, that’s what you should be striving for and not once again sleeping the day away. Letting your phone get clogged up with well… Should I tell you? I mean, I did share what broke me last week in hopes of surviving, Six Impossible Things:

  1. I AM Keeping It In My Pants (Day 002 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
  2. I AM Always The “Father” My Dæmon Deserves
  3. I AM Sending Gulp Off To Be Published SIGH
  4. I AM Writing “Look A Thing Like Santa”
  5. I AM Writing A New TWD Guild Intro
  6. I AM Finishing Reading The Christmas Wife by Elizabeth Kelly

I won’t ask you to hmm, okay enough negativity, find a good book, song, and show for the new year. Have A Happy New Year, please. Will’s Excellent New Year.

I Will Have No Fear

Gospel 176 ~Will’s Christmas List IV~

What does it profit a man, to gain the whole world, and lose his soul? I’m not a man of faith, but my mom taught me some. While she’s not alone in the world, I’m hoping to be a better man than Dad. Will’s Christmas List IV means I’ll need a good girl

Thursday, December 24, 2020

Gospel 176 ~Will’s Christmas List IV~

WARNING, 18+, READER DISCRETION ADVISED

Come In Dirty Diana,
I AM a Billionaire right now, which means I have it all, the BOOKS, written and bought with all the BUCKS. If I were going to spend the holidays in bed, would it be in a BROTHEL? That’s where Dennis Hof spent his, but no. This Christmas, I want a BABE. Well, “She doesn’t look a thing like Jesus,” ha-ha. A baby girl, a baby doll. Yesterday I asked was I looking for love? It would be a Christmas Miracle or Hell if I had her here now; I could take care of everything else for me and mine for sure.

A woman that would let me read as I please. What, I could be reading a Playboy or something, but my current reading has been:

Christmas Reading

  1. The Christmas Pickup by Abby Knox
  2. Mason’s Winter by C.M. Steele
  3. Baby It’s Cold Outside by Dani Wyatt
  4. The Christmas Wife by Elizabeth Kelly

At the same time, yeah, I want to produce those “girly magazines,” but I’m damn sure my angel (shudders) won’t be a “Centerfold.” I want a woman all to myself, and I only know two virgins. Don’t ask because today should be HAPPY, Christmas Eve.

Not sounding very sexy so far, but if we got into everything I’m into… So I pay women to strip and masturbate. I’ve got three artists I’m bankrolling and have paid others for this or that. You know how I want to make my money in the end, right? Writing every perverted, depraved, sick thought in my mind. I would at least have an excuse if I was fucking some girl on Christmas Eve and into Christmas Day. It worked for Bear, Mason, Vix, and while Deacon hasn’t fucked the heroine yet… Was I going to say I ain’t asking for much? I mean, seriously.

It’s not writing dirty books, having more money than God, or owing a brothel. Again I need a woman whose heart is big enough to accept all of me. Yeah, with a pretty mouth, a small slit, and nothing against anal. Also, she’s going to be the mother of my children one day. Tell me such a woman exists that I could bang her brains out, and right about now, she would be cooking breakfast?

More books, bucks, and broads for brothels but only one babe. Will’s Christmas List IV.

I Will Have More Fear

Gospel 175 ~Payday, Will’s Favorite Holiday…~

Every day, “How are you,” another day, even with Emergence, or Free Candy, and what about Christmas. When I get massive amounts of green one day, I’d like to think I can afford to bring a tree inside. I can now but Payday, Will’s Favorite Holiday yep

Wednesday, December 23, 2020

Gospel 175 ~Payday, Will’s Favorite Holiday…~

Forgive Me Echo,
I AM a Billionaire right now and still making one more dollar cue Homer drool. Now you know I’m not one for the holidays. Long story short, PEOPLE. During this time of the year, you might call me Mr. Grinch, Scrooge, or “Cross.” Didn’t care for “Scrooged.” Bless Indiana Gone for trying her best. She did send me a Christmas card. Now don’t tell her I told you, but she did forget about MY “Emergence Day.” Okay, so that’s the point, hmm. I never tell anyone. Hers is Star Wars Day, oh, um, a good holiday ha.

Anyway, so I say people, but I should also say with money, things get complicated. Take now, It’s The Most Wonderful Time Of The Year, as they say. Yesterday I envisioned the Christmastime I hope to share with my family someday. Okay, one day, motivations. However, I shared the truth of my current situation. There isn’t a tree up, no lights, no wrapped gifts, we’ll get to that. There isn’t any “Roast Beast” in the fridge. Truth is, I’m still living, for the most part, with leftover Turkey. I don’t mean to complain so much. Inspector Echo, I have money. Is it all this talk in the news lately about stimulus this and that? The idea that I’m beginning to believe Serra Hyundai (assholes) pardon my French has been lying to me. My biggest shame is that I haven’t even bought my Dæmon a gift.

I shouldn’t talk about gifts because that reminds me of Emergence Day. Hell, I should probably put Gears of War on my Wish List. Okay, you already know that Emergence Day is the worst day of my life, and it’s why I spend most of it in hiding, hating life. Now, if I cared to make a list of worst holidays, after Emergence and Christmas would be Valentine’s Day. What, am I trying to be in love at some point. And again, I’m not exactly buying gifts, AHEM, two. Let’s not put women and any money in the same idea. Where will that lead to? Besides wanting a family and what about taking kids to trick or treat. I don’t need little monsters at my door when kids scare the crap out of me anyway.

So I’m keeping people away and money in my pocket. I don’t need the ghosts for Payday, Will’s Favorite Holiday.

I Will Have No Fear

Gospel 174 ~Oh, Christmas Tree Will…~

Another long nap, but you try listening to Mariah Carey’s All I Want For Christmas Is You all day and not want to switch off for a few hours. Although if it made the family, I want someday happy… Oh, Christmas Tree Will…

Tuesday, December 22, 2020

Gospel 174 ~Oh, Christmas Tree Will…~

Dear Future Wife,
I AM a Billionaire right now, so yeah, I’m somewhat of a thief. Well, considering all the decorations on this house, how much do I give back? Yes, it’s almost Christmas, but it will take a little while longer to find the spirit of the holiday, I suppose. But I will, promise. You don’t know how many years it’s been. There were times, there wasn’t a tree to be seen in the house. A Charlie Brown Christmas, A Christmas Story, A Diva’s Christmas Carol. Some others were Christmas favorites. Still, I would be busy watching YouTube again.

I still enjoy reading Christmas stories. Some, of course, aren’t child friendly, not even to our dæmons. It’s a tradition I do want to keep alive with us, lying in bed with you. That’s after we invite the kids to watch Santa make his way with the online map, Tradition! Is hot chocolate a Christmas drink? I don’t know, but there is an art to it. Milk, the GOOD Chocolate mix, marshmallows, whip cream, the works. No chocolate chip candles. God bless my mom, but I don’t want the kids getting mad at grandma as I did as a kid. Maybe we’ll be invited to Christmas brunch. My Olds quit asking me when I wouldn’t leave my dæmon behind. Hell, there was a time I had to leave him for hours on end but never again with my new job.

A job that means I’ll have to learn how to trim a tree again. Multiple Trees if I have my way, and I’ll even leave my Gomez Addams persona at the door. “The scent of pine,” ha. I’ll have to learn some holiday movie quotes, but the kids want the tree first; I can’t wait. I want our power bills to be outrageous because of all the lights on the house. Driving to look at people’s decorations. Getting gas should be “truly, truly, truly outrageous.” If you get that refrence, um, I love you even more now. Of course, that’s pretty easy, ain’t it, yep. Speaking of music and a show, I haven’t decided on the “religious” aspect while I’m all for Santa. Presents were something to keep me in church, the same with Easter. I don’t think we should care, but you know how people are high holy days.

I can forget about that but, Oh, Christmas Tree Will…

I Will Have No Fear

Gospel 173 ~No Names For Potential Food~

Last week, it’s what I was keeping in my body, and this week it’s about what I won’t put in. No, I’m not talking about the “vaccine” like I could get a hold of it, and would I want to? More like why I don’t name farm life. No Names For Potential Food

Monday, December 21, 2020

Gospel 173 ~No Names For Potential Food~

Hundred And Sixty-Seventh Rule

Madam Justice,
I AM a Billionaire right now, which means I would do what I can to save animals. Now you should know I’m no vegan or even vegetarian. At the same time, I can’t stand hunters. That is unless we’re talking about “The Most Dangerous Game.” Is that sad? How can I talk about hunting people in the process of killing them? Anyway, that’s an interesting story for another time. Today I want to talk about how I won’t say no to a chicken sandwich. I should have got some bacon yesterday. And how I won’t eat my dog.

Wow, that got sort of dark fast. So when I came up with this rule, I was thinking about the animals. I’ve never had any inclinations of owning a farm though I know Indiana Gone wants to. I see cows and chickens, and I want a sandwich. Clydesdales… yeah, beer. Can’t say I’m a drinker, though. Budweiser was smart to put something cute in its ads. Same with Coca-Cola. Who can forget all those Sarah McLachlan ads? This month has been about Christmas, but the novel “Where The Red Fern Grows” oh God chokes up. My Dæmon, though, sold me on life itself. Why don’t I ever mention his name and I’m sure I have back in the beginning. He’s kept me alive, and even if I was starving… People say it’s the end of the world as we know it, and I feel fine. Always with my firstborn son.

Women are people Will, women are people. Now I know that, of course. I’m also trying so hard to keep my “promise” of how I talk to you and the rest of the girls… sorry, Dirty Diana. My point is, Madam Justice, I can’t be typical with the Beautiful Stranger. Women have lives, and maybe that’s why I fight my addiction the way that I do. The body can be full, but the heart, soul, and mind are empty. It’s sort of the same as writing. You prepare a feast, and then you’re left wanting, and worse, nobody eats anything. Interesting epiphany, yeah? I should wake up early more often. So I start giving names and faces to feel something, anything. And then I either starve myself or bite and leave myself still so unsatisfied.

Maybe I’m hungry, more BBQ? What’s in me or others? No Names For Potential Food.

I Will Have No Fear

Gospel 172 ~Willing Goddesses and Guns~

I love my Dæmon like pancakes, but he does know how to spoil a good dream, so I was busy cleaning up a mess this morning. All the things I’m willing to spend money on. I should get him some diapers, my furry old man. Will Goddess and Guns though

Sunday, December 20, 2020

Gospel 172 ~Willing Goddesses and Guns~

To Will:
I AM a Billionaire right now, and you at least woke up like one today. In a way, I want to treat you like the Dæmon, pat your head, call you a good boy. You don’t need treats, but what were you looking to buy at 7:00 AM.

Of course, you can’t speak of it. Only it would help someone in particular with a lawsuit against the state of Nevada. Another right decision on your part today, and it’s so early. Maybe you’ll keep up with what I began, and no, I don’t mean all the reading, ok? God knows you weren’t dreaming about books or even Far Cry 5. Such a pain in the ass not being able to speak of these things. As always, Republican ideas to deflect and lie. Did I mention how tiresome? You can say that song “Diamonds and Guns” has been playing. In about another hour or so, you can add another day to beating your addiction. There was an ad today talking about the secret to winning is accountability. Yep, nobody is that trustworthy. But you do have something to celebrate with these Six Impossible Things:

  1. I AM Keeping It In My Pants (Day 003 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
    Completed (Day 010 No Fap)
  2. I AM Always The “Father” My Dæmon Deserves
    Failed
  3. I AM Sending Gulp Off To Be Published SIGH
    Failed
  4. I AM Editing Anything Of My Current Works
    Failed
  5. I AM Writing A New TWD Guild Intro
    Failed
  6. I AM Finishing Mason’s Winter
    Completed

They don’t give 21 Gun Salutes over getting a 31% F. Dare I to say Trump has an approval higher than that. You should try buying more guns. Your dreams were full of them last night. Should you blame Far Cry 5, society, or my fat mouth these days, hmm? Again you’re trying to save money, but between the mail, mayhem, and mechanics. Yeah, you won’t be getting that $600.00 to build up an armory for what might take place in a few weeks. Of all the fears you hold in this world, to be honest, you don’t fear “politics.” Perhaps you should consider more guns as a THING; that way, it won’t ever happen. Funny, this coming from a man that made sure to put a new NaNoWriMo shirt on his wanted list. Those mechanics were wrong about the car, but you won’t even try to protect yourself… SHAME.

What you should be ashamed of is what kept the money in your pocket this morning. How about what drove you from your bed? You love the Imp like pancakes, but he can make messes. Much like Six Impossible Things:

  1. I AM Keeping It In My Pants (Day 010 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
  2. I AM Always The “Father” My Dæmon Deserves
  3. I AM Sending Gulp Off To Be Published SIGH
  4. I AM Editing Anything Of My Current Works
  5. I AM Writing A New TWD Guild Intro
  6. I AM Finishing Baby It’s Cold Outside by Dani Wyatt

I can’t ask you about one thing and shouldn’t the other. Willing Goddesses And Guns.

I Will Have No Fear