Tag: Life

Log 274 ~Will My Love End~

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I’ve always wanted to believe in unconditional love, love everlasting, and well, I’m kind of greedy when it comes to love. I hoard it like toilet paper, hand sanitizer, and bullets. “Will My Love End,” not if I can help it, please don’t give up on me

Tuesday, March 31, 2020

Log 274 ~Will My Love End~

Dear Future Wife,
I AM a Billionaire right now, and I can probably tell you where I got the first dollar I ever made. When I was a tot, there was a time I believed $300.00 would solve all my problems. I said the words, “if there is any money you’re not using, can I have it?” Besides you, my dæmon, and our other children, I hated when others would touch me. For the almighty dollar, though, I was doling out hugs for profit, which explains my views in business. Anyway, I can remember the first time I “fell in love,” but it’s only been in that which I’m scared it will all someday end.

What would be the proper answer, Babygirl? Love never ends, isn’t that in the Bible somewhere. You know I’m not a man of God though I do have particular views. My Love for the family we have made is indeed endless. Even if I fall in days such as these, and I’m sorry, I don’t mean to be so morbid today, possibly. Again during this time, a man has to think of the future. Only I don’t want to be like one of those men who forgets his Anniversary, your birthday, Valentine’s Day. My Olds attempted to raise a man, a southern gentleman at best. Still, I rather forget about how screwed up I was when trying to “court” you. My Love, I choose to forget about my fears even to this very day that one day you might “wake up.” Remember Steve Carell’s wife in Seeking a Friend for the End of the World?

So today I want to be happy sitting here with you watching that film. I want to check on my businesses and having you right by my side. I built this world for us, so I would never have to leave it, but what if we did? I still hate my father, but he is there for my mother, and I will be there for you. If I got infected, bit, or anything, I trust you’ll do the right thing. We could lose our minds together, walk this Earth together, end it together, that’s all I want. If we were ever separated, would I have it in me to find you again? Our atoms like Will to his Lyra, His Dark Materials, a fantastic series.

Never, Will My Love End.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 273 ~Faith, In You, In Something~

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Well, a different rule but repeated actions. I had faith that I would write something, look at the book, go shopping, and back to it being 3:00 PM trying not to look at women, playing TWD until 5:30 PM. I believe I’m lazy. Faith, In You, In Something

Monday, March 30, 2020

Log 273 ~Faith, In You, In Something~

Hundred And Thirtieth Rule

Madam Justice,
I AM a Billionaire right now, but how many times do I have to say it before I believe it? When I was so young, I grew up in the AME church. I remember saying something to the tune of, on these two commandments hang all the law and the prophets. Those were about loving God and loving your neighbor. Now I can’t say I do much of either anymore, but what two things do I repeat every day. I AM a Millionaire, Billionaire, Trillionaire, and I Will Have No Fear. The Law of Attraction. Allow me to try my best “Trinity” impression.

I believe “that girl” from last night wasn’t playing me for a fool. (Friday Night) I met this girl on Whisper. She was sweet, a mom, pretty, etc. So you’re asking me why no cute nickname? Well, haven’t heard from her at all today, and of course, that could mean anything. Do you see how quickly the negative thoughts come through? I could get played; I wasted the day, I’ll never get to sleep on time SIGH. I believe that we’ll have this conversation, but that doesn’t take much faith at all. Here we are, another day, okay, I promise I’ll stop it with the negativity. I believe AHEM I believe that I’ll go out tomorrow and gather much-needed supplies. We’re not starving, of course, but you know what it means when I set my clock for a twenty-minute nap? Not a “dang” thing ever.

You don’t know quite how badly I want to belt out the Blessid Union of Souls’ version of “I Believe.” Ironically, I believe by Monday night; when I finally post this, I’ll have a new gun. Life in the plague era and I’ve never once thought about getting sick; oh yeah, that Regal Popcorn. Anyway, I believe that I can keep “it” in my pants, and no, I’m not talking about a gun. I’m still working on my novella “The Eve of a Cherry,” and the two female leads well. It’s not like I’ve ever needed an excuse right, but at least I fixed two hundred errors today. Last but not least, ha-ha, I want to say that I believe in myself. I was talking to Cherry the other day and repeated all my dreams.

Why shouldn’t I, I ask, a man with “something” to do? All I need is Faith, In You, In Something.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 272 ~Willing For Ten Steps~

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Another two out of six, so I guess I owe the Day Job an apology; I walk a thousand steps for them no problem, but I can’t walk around ten to do what I love. Of course, my kid still wants his walks in this time of plague. “Willing For Ten Steps.”

Sunday, March 29, 2020

Log 272 ~Willing For Ten Steps~

To Will:
I AM a Billionaire right now, but you look like you’re getting a $1,200 stimulus check. If anything for this week, you can live like your wealthy. I know I’ve been sitting on my butt the whole time (seven days Friday). Right now, I can’t even tell you if you have the Day Job or not (work email)? While I’m looking ahead, you can look at me and say I’m Very Disappointed, join the club. The fact that I rise to go to a place I hate and I can’t get it up to walk to the dining room table. Sadly I’m still raring to go as far as “getting it up,” I can only imagine your state.

Let’s start with last night. I can’t go to bed at 10:00 PM or any decent hour, for that matter. I usually play TWD until I feel I can’t keep my eyes open. I set the clock for midnight, but I end up waking at 3:00 AM with all the lights and TV still on. By sunrise, it’s a fight even to walk my boy. I barely got through editing one hundred errors of my novella, and I still have four hundred to go. Now that could have been my first mistake. It got me so worked up, The Eve of a Cherry. What do you think of the new name; a win’s a win, I suppose. Not with my break time, though, between Cherry, Alice Little, and others geez. Wasn’t there a point where I said I wasn’t going to speak of weaknesses in myself. 2020 has been a messed up year for everybody, but I’m still disappointed as I was “moaning” not an hour ago. I wasn’t crying about these Six Impossible Things:

  1. I AM Keeping It In My Pants (Day 008 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 001 No Fap)
  2. I AM Always The “Father” My Dæmon Deserves
    Failed
  3. I AM Reviewing Twenty “GULP” Poems
    Failed
  4. I AM Reviewing Raphael By Tillie Cole
    Failed
  5. I AM Not Receiving Any Warnings From Norton About Security
    Completed
  6. I AM Finishing Writing My Latest Novella
    Completed

Devil’s Advocate, I don’t control #5, but I haven’t received any alerts. I even checked my phone because while I was busy “moaning” about one girl, I checked out Karlee Grey. Talk about ten steps. I can shoot from one fetish to another, no question. You know you can’t stay cooped up for ten days, and you’re not sick; well, I can hope not. Should we go into who gives you fever, because if you’re holding out, you’re as crazy as I was? Speaking of which AHEM Six Impossible Things:

  1. I AM Keeping It In My Pants (Day 001 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
  2. I AM Always The “Father” My Dæmon Deserves
  3. I AM Reviewing Twenty “GULP” Poems
  4. I AM Reviewing Raphael By Tillie Cole
  5. I AM Not Receiving Any Warnings From Norton About Security
  6. I AM Finishing Editing My Latest Novella “The Eve of a Cherry”

I’m asking you like Ethan Hawke in “Alive,” for ten steps, Willing For Ten Steps.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 271 ~Content Of Will’s Characters~

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Well, a whole week off from work, how am I feeling? I’m still basking in the glow of a finished project that’s written worse than the plumber, pizza man, and the professor, you see where this is going. Content Of Will’s Characters

Saturday, March 28, 2020

Log 271 ~Content Of Will’s Characters~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Billionaire right now, but people are a resource. Now I’m not Negan, and you know my ideas when it comes to people are vast, varied, and on some days are downright vicious. I’m the type of “man” that puts a value on everything, especially my inclinations of “charity.” For the most part, I donate to NaNoWriMo and helping dogs and cats. I’ll help a pretty girl, but of course, I want to see her without her clothes. You know I’m not opposed to paying for sex; I never have. I’ve paid if anything for the illusion of sex. Well, you’re asking yourself what brought this on? Buckle up Buttercup; we’re going for a ride.

What turns me on more than women? Show me the money? Yes, Lady Luna, it’s a pittance to the 1%, but $1,200 is what it is. While I seem to be full of quotes today, here’s another, if I were a rich man. I would do the same thing because I’m greedy, gluttonous, and somewhat of a god. Okay, too much? “I’m egotistical, I’m a narcissist, I’m a big deal.” So this leads me to my Novella, The Eve Of A Cherry. Didn’t I say I wasn’t going to change the title? Then again, Lady Lu, OFFICIAL SPOILER ALERT. I killed a pregnant girl, her lover, and her Mum, A fictional work to anyone working for the FBI. If you want some facts, how about being tempted to bribe Cherry again? I help women in trouble for a fee, and what does that make me indeed. I can go from Cherry to MILF Dos, Special K, M Anime, Court on Patreon after her story, that woman in the Walmart parking lot. I even got back a small donation. It came from this woman on Facebook. Yeah, I was looking to negotiate with her a bit.

You’ll never hear me say that I’m a good man Lady Lu. Every other day I talk about the characters I write not being good people. To make matters worse. What about the characters I don’t TAKE out, that TOOK the places of others, that get another TALE. For example, Airi Akitsuki, Ren Hasumi; do yourself a favor; don’t look them up. A reason I’m talking so early to you today is that I want to create a character compendium.

Doubtful because I’m back to Day One of you know what. Content Of Will’s Characters.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 270 ~Will In The Wasteland~

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Well, it’s done, the novella is finished, some 19,000 words and not a single person I can share it with. Camp NaNoWriMo is beginning in April, and I feel somewhat like a cheater because I’m only adding the desert of the fiction. Will In The Wasteland

Friday, March 27, 2020

Log 270 ~Will In The Wasteland~

Hey Lady Sophia,
I AM a Billionaire right now, which wouldn’t mean much if we’re all dead. Let me start by saying I’m so sorry. I swear this is what happens when you time-travel, and all the days begin to bleed together. Right now, it’s Wednesday, my lousy day, but shouldn’t I be talking about what I’m reading or writing Friday. We’ll get to that, but I am sorry for my bout of depression. Yesterday I was talking about literally being over the HUMP. Now leave it to a girl in a very big PINK bra, Reagan Kathryn, and the idea of some church sex.

Yes, Lady Sophia, you didn’t need to read that, but it was in the first part of my novella. Sorry to say it was in the last chapter of my novella, The End. Well, Lady Sophia, if you don’t like SPOILERS, here’s your OFFICIAL SPOILER ALERT. Everybody dies except for my character. I’m pretty sure Earth Erotic wouldn’t appreciate that ending. Do you remember when I was freaking out to hear from them? It’s been weeks, and what about iUniverse? I told them to shut-up after weeks of annoyance. So let’s talk about things I read like all those ads from Wish. At this point in the story, I’m tempted to say they’re the reason I keep getting all those warnings from Norton. You know, all I’ve ever wanted is to be desired. The ironic thing is, only criminals want me even in times such as these, the awaiting wasteland.

I am an American, yeah you hacking scumbags. Anyway, in the eyes of the world, that doesn’t impress. At least I can look forward to $1,200, but Trump is still in charge, so that’s doubtful. What would I do with the money anyway? It’s not like I’m living my dreams right about now. While I broke NO FAP, I have still been in isolation for SIGH five days. I’m going to have to go outside sooner or later, but with how I’ve been reading people? Lady Sophia, I’m a lover snickers, not a fighter, but I’m adding to my arsenal. Finally, NaNoWriMo is coming up in April. I’ve barely done 5000 words with all this time off in a single day. It also feels like cheating to expand on the novella I’ve just finished anyway.

Lady Sophia, I am the waste, Will In The Wasteland.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 268 ~Will’s Six Of Excuses~

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How many times at the Day Job did I utter the words just another day, so when I came back to the house, exhausted who could blame me for not working on my dream. Now I’m too busy watching Shusaku until 2:00 in the morning. Will’s “Six” Of Excuses yep

Wednesday, March 25, 2020

Log 268 ~Will’s Six Of Excuses~

Forgive Me Echo,
I AM a Billionaire right now, which in this country means I must not be working too hard. Let me say this out in the open, my biggest excuse for not doing something was the Day Job. So here I am, three days in isolation, I still have eight days before I hear from work and what have I accomplished? I guess this is a good experiment seeing where I stand on writing full time. Five thousand words daily, I haven’t gotten close. What about reading The Gargoyle or listening to another book, well I’m here now.

As I said, I should have all of my work by now. The words I do get on the page, around 1500, are so despicable and vile. Yes, I know, leave it to Lady Sophia, but yeah, I’m embarrassed. I guess that doesn’t go away even when I’m all alone, my son and me. Speaking of friends, shouldn’t I be getting back to M Anime? She’s still on the front lines, and I can’t say, I’m exhausted, I nap all day, case and point. I even dreamed that you and I had this conversation Echo. Well, Michonne was high last night (today’s Monday) talk about losing time. I already talked about reading, didn’t I? My life comes back to that always. The words are calling me, and still, I won’t listen to Eric Thomas. You have to learn to give up sleep; when will I.

After The Walking Dead, I could have gone to bed, but I decided to “research” my novella, right? There’s this one scene in “Shusaku Replay 3” (if you look that up, it’s your fault. Anyway, it’s between Kaori Maejima and Ayaka Minami. Okay, if I’m not watching stuff like that, how about catching up on “better” TV. I miss Into The Badlands, The Handmaid’s Tale, A Million Little Things. Thanks to the Coronavirus (COVID-19) wrestling will never be the same. Inspector Echo they are even postponing The Olympics. Finally, why aren’t I watching more of the news? Working at the Day Job, dealing with my Olds and everything else, it felt like my world was falling apart every day. I’m starting to have nightmares these days instead of staying informed.

Inspector Echo, I’m sorry I blame my Day Job and that I even stick with it. I apologize for my excuses. Will’s “Six” Of Excuses

I Will Have No Fear

Log 267 ~Will It Be Easier~

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I heard in a movie a man only needs someone to love, a dreamy thought, but I’m still greedy and a bit of a control freak, and am I strange that I figured the end of the world would be different, so this isn’t it. Will It Be Easier

Tuesday, March 24, 2020

Log 267 ~Will It Be Easier~

Dear Future Wife,
I AM a Billionaire right now, but I’m no hero. In times such as these, there are no capes, but I see the truck drivers. People are working in retail. I still lament my local history for the record shudders. My Love, there are doctors. It’s only day two of us being in, well besides to let all the kids out. We’ve seen the restaurants, though. I’m sure the farmers are still at it. The garbagemen are working, and do we have neighbors? There are helpers all around us, but as always, I want so much more.

I thank them all but why couldn’t I have met you sooner. I’ll admit I haven’t read much these days, but I remember. If The Hunger Games, Divergent, Article 5 have taught me anything. There is always a 17-year-old girl, waiting to save us. Ask me again, why are daughters got named Katniss, Tris, and Ember? Hoping they take after you, baby doll. At the same time, a man like me dates way out of his league. You’re the Maggie to my Glenn, the Red to my 10K, my Alicia Clark. I’m Christian Grey enough to admit I have a thing for brunettes. Still, I only have eyes for you, and maybe that’s why the world doesn’t look so bleak. Why there is no place that I would rather be than home. There’s a method to my madness, my anxiety wanting everything under our roof.

It’s also easier to write about things other than the end of the world. I don’t think this is strange enough. Yet, most of my stories involve a man locked in with a bunch of beautiful women. I didn’t see my wife and kids being in the cards but call it karma. So about the question, will it be easier? Besides Indiana Gone, you’re the only woman that knows about how serious I take The Walking Dead. What about Fear TWD, Z Nation, Contagion, Containment, pretty much anything George Romero? I guess I’m also thinking about Jericho, with people arming up, but like I said two days of isolation so far. SIGH, would it be easier escaping all the voices, would the words I love you be enough? Again I’m greedy. I want to share with Indiana Gone, her hubby, and kids, all our friends.

With so much love, baby girl, Will It Be Easier?

I Will Have No Fear

Log 266 ~Don’t Do Better, Be Better~

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I made it to the table, I sat right there to write, and I said today I will do better than yesterday, cut to waking up at 3:00PM trying not to stare at girls until five, maybe do some reading ha. “Don’t Do Better, Be Better.”

Monday, March 23, 2020

Log 266 ~Don’t Do Better, Be Better~

Hundred And Twenty-Ninth Rule

Madam Justice,
I AM a Billionaire right now, which makes me better than you. A lie if I ever heard one, but what the world teaches, or is that what they call “The American Dream?” You must excuse me for turning on the politics and make no mistake I’m proud to be an American. The thing is though my country hasn’t done much, especially now to show what makes us good, better, or best. Madam Justice, as I sat at the dining room table, not writing (600 Words BARELY). I was much like Rapunzel from the movie Tangled, um okay.

“I am a despicable human being!” – Rapunzel, Tangled (2010)

Let’s begin as I always do with my Six Impossible Things, which is still about being a better man. It’s not Thursday (Saturday Actually), and I have a stomachache for a “particular” reason. Madam Justice, if I do use toilet paper, it will be for another mess. I could say my writing is worse. All these days are blending as my composing is Lady Sophia’s wheelhouse. Anyway, I was creating another character and what did Rapunzel say again. Still, on the subject of not going anywhere, I’m not much of a homeowner either, nor at all, my Olds have the mortgage. Well, besides finally hearing from my Mom, the back porch had a bit of a meltdown. I haven’t bothered to clean up all the dirt though My Dæmon got his walk. Of course, I make lists Sunday, but here is a couple to ponder.

Random Problems:

  1. Dang Humming in the Den
  2. Toilet Seat, half-bath
  3. Water Filter
  4. Roof Repair
  5. Second Car
  6. Clean the house
  7. Broken Drawer
  8. Norton

Novella Characters (At Present):

  1. Cherry Roslyn Fae
  2. Anna Cecilia Fae
  3. Caitlin Grace Clayborn
  4. Rini Aubrie Westfall
  5. River Nelle McKinney – “Debbie” The Cheerleaders (1973) Brandy Woods
  6. Amorette Anissa Lucita – Alahna Ly
  7. Cade Xavier Cosgrove
  8. Win William Bridgman – Me

Now, of course, you’re asking me what does any of this have to do with today’s rule. A good man would fix what is wrong with his HOME, isn’t that what this should be Madam Justice. A better one would have typed out 5000 words today. The Best Man wouldn’t destroy these characters and my shame at naming five of them. I sit beneath the covers saying tomorrow, DO IT, which means NEVER. Well, at least according to my motivations.

Don’t Do Better, Be Better.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 265 ~The Closed On Will~

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The new rules, schedule changes, closed down signs, so much “original” writing, so what about some of my own but how late is it, and I’m sure that someone is moving the hands of the doomsday clock but still. The Closed On Will, I should be more open?

Sunday, March 22, 2020

Log 265 ~The Closed On Will~

To Will:
I AM a Billionaire right now, so will you be getting a bigger check, a smaller one, or none at all. Let me say this if it does happen, and that’s a hell of a big IF, don’t spend it all in one place. Of course, you know what I’m talking about right. One problem with time-travel. It’s (Friday), and I could have to change everything about this, sigh more writing. I am proud of you today, considering you finished two chapters of the novella and more. While the Day Job is not operating, why not close off all your excuses, fears, and dare I say the erotica?

Don’t close your eyes yet, there is still work to do, but I doubt it will be 5000 words, what time is it again? At least you didn’t take a nap today, and of course, you know why that is right? The dang humming and there was once all the time in the world. Now you’re looking at the big clock. Keep your eyes open for the things you need to survive. You should be proud of me, seeing as how I found bottled water and toilet paper? Yeah, I still don’t get it either, but you could figure it out, gives you something to do, of course. Now speaking of toilet paper, you should probably close your mind off to what people are saying. Anyone who says, believe me, trust me, let me be honest is usually lying their butt off. One more reason you don’t talk to the Olds anymore and especially during this time of plague. Survival is possible, but here we go again. Six Impossible Things:

  1. I AM Keeping It In My Pants (Day 001 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
    Completed (Day 008 No Fap)
  2. I AM Always The “Father” My Dæmon Deserves
    Failed
  3. I AM Reviewing Twenty “GULP” Poems
    Failed
  4. I AM Reviewing Raphael By Tillie Cole
    Failed
  5. I AM Writing A Backstory For Earth Erotic’s Sales Merchandise
    Completed
  6. I AM Finishing Writing My Latest Novella
    Failed

As of this moment, I’m looking at 2 out of 6. Cherry, once upon a time, was on me about my writing, and Earth Erotic accepted my first “story.” I took a chance and sent two chapters of my novella, and I haven’t heard from them in days. Okay, so that could be because of the Coronavirus (COVID-19). Mostly everybody is on lockdown, and I hope I’m not sick and don’t you get sick either. You have the rest of this month, well a week to change things for the better. Don’t be closed off to it, Six Impossible Things:

  1. I AM Keeping It In My Pants (Day 008 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
  2. I AM Always The “Father” My Dæmon Deserves
  3. I AM Reviewing Twenty “GULP” Poems
  4. I AM Reviewing Raphael By Tillie Cole
  5. I AM Not Receiving Any Warnings From Norton About Security
  6. I AM Finishing Writing My Latest Novella

Once thinking every day, it was, “five minutes and the world is going to end.” Know The Closed On Will.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 264 ~Will You Be Scared~

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Last week I said I’m not sleepy, but sure I am exhausted tonight, but I wrote 400 words for my novella; yep when I would once write full chapters, but I got two weeks to make up for it, but what about the end of the world? Will You Be Scared hmm

Saturday, March 21, 2020

Log 264 ~Will You Be Scared~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Billionaire right now, and rich people are the biggest scaredy-cats. When it happens to me, Lady Lu, not if, but when; well must I sing. “No, I won’t be afraid, Oh, I won’t be afraid,” what do you think? I’m finding it hard to be fearful today (Thursday). The Day Job is closing up shop for two weeks because of the Coronavirus (COVID-19). No more excuses right, two weeks to write, to become a better man, a worthy father, etc. Staying like this, spooky.

As The Walking Dead says Fight The Dead Fear The Living, so I have plenty.

No Lady Lu, the streets aren’t flooded with Walkers, for now. Let’s start with when I came back to the house today. I began working on my novella. You want to know what scares me about that. I nearly exploded in my pants, and I still have doubts about my writing. Shouldn’t I fear that all the rest of the stores are closing up? Again today, I’m not eating. I still have food, of course, but it’s as if I have no time. It’s one of the reasons I’m talking to you last, no offense Lady Lu. I know I wouldn’t go to bed before our chat. What about reading The Gargoyle? I felt the temptation to listen to it on Audible. Instead, I started, Prisoner by Annika Martin and Skye Warren. Am I scared that I’ll start procrastinating as I did with Dark Notes? Speaking of listening, I haven’t mentioned the humming that much.

What if I never have a quiet moment in this house again. I have at least half a dozen projects in this place, and still, I want my money. Yeah, and what am I trying to spend money on again, as always. I’m not worried about toilet paper or water. There was a moment yesterday; I felt like The Postman (1997). ‘Things are getting better, getting better all the time.” I found bottled water and generic TP and thought okay, not so bad. Only everyone is telling me the world is ending and what do I say to that. I’m not scared, but I’m not ready, but I instead face the dark days than a “good” day at work. My life is nothing to write about, but here we are.

At the moment, like yesterday, I’m tired, but 400 words richer; Will You Be Scared.

I Will Have No Fear