Tag: Life

Log 263 ~Will Cover To Cover~

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NaNoWriMo is coming up fast and I have no excuse not to write. Everything is shutting down, The Day Job is still going but with the Coronavirus? Let’s face it, am I “lazy,” never getting up early, staying up late. “Will Cover To Cover”

Friday, March 20, 2020

Log 263 ~Will Cover To Cover~

Hey Lady Sophia,
I AM a Billionaire right now, and I hope that’s because I wrote a bestseller. Never forget Lady Sophia, my name is locked up someplace in junior college admissions. There’s a file somewhere in a law enforcement database. Even at the Day Job, while undoubtedly, there is a line that reads, “doesn’t play well with others.” It’s like I’m The Postman or Beta from The Walking Dead, I know you, you’re famous. To this day, I wouldn’t mind the notoriety of Le Marquis de Sade. Now, of course, if I expect to get anywhere, here’s the answer.

Where am I right now? I’m on the cover of my bed, and I tried Lady Sophia, honest. I ate nachos and went right to reading after. Will Smith said that having a Plan B distracts from Plan A. The Day Job pays the “bills,” keeps My Dæmon very much alive. I make up the covers, so I don’t end up in them, but even with all the time in the world, I stay up late. Not one week has gone by where I keep “it” in my pants. People are getting sick all over, so I hear, and I still sleep late like a baby. Yeah, so I can spend the whole day whining. What do I have to complain about, hmm? Well, is it the fact that I have to hide who I am from the world. Lady Sophia, it could be that people think they know me, my cover identity. Between the two, I don’t know who I am. As the song goes, “Ever since I got signed, I don’t know what’s real anymore,” Walk With Me.

Did I accomplish anything today? I finished Dark Notes, and I was so worried. You know I think I listen to these stories because I’ll do anything not to hear them. A little while ago, I looked up Court’s story. You remember the “horror” story her life that got me to sign up for Patreon? Now that was more of a confession, something for Inspector Echo. Anyway, it won’t stop me from reading Erotic fiction. One more reason I only listen to stories I’ve read once. Speaking of Erotic Fiction, I wonder what Earth Erotic thinks of my novella. I’ve never been one for making a good first impression. I’m worse with SIGH The End.

Making Will Cover To Cover.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 261 ~Will Throws A Rager~

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I could keep my head underwater for a bit longer, or I could go to sleep, even in my noise-filled Den the humming doesn’t stop me from sleeping, or I could have knocked myself out with my tablet. Will Throws A Rager

Wednesday, March 18, 2020

Log 261 ~Will Throws A Rager~

Forgive Me Echo,
I AM a Billionaire right now, and money makes me happy. What about My Dæmon, solitude, and women, in all their many shapes and forms? My motivations talk about creating happiness but three things. One, everything that brings about that feeling, people say is wrong. It’s kind of hard to imagine those things when knowing with them, you’re “evil.” Two, I don’t even remember what it felt like Inspector Echo. I get wisps now and again sometimes, but I don’t know. Three, there’s rage like you would not believe, anger, hate, suffering.

Yes, Inspector Echo, Star Wars, but I’m drowning in this rage, and of course, it begins with FEAR. I am not one for grossness, but when I have to go to the Day Job, I get sick to my stomach. In my bag, I carry Sprite and plastic bags. Of course, I have the perfect word and excuse me, but shit. I’m sharing my feelings, but at least I ain’t crying, and yeah, you know what is going to nail me for that word. I could think of a few hundred reasons to scream at the moment, but I’m too hot. Not in a DECENT way. I’m talking about blood boiling and how far can I take that thought. Well, nowhere near a conclusion. Otherwise, I’ll be explaining myself like Hilary Swank in The Hunt. Remember what I learned from Cherry; when you believe no one is reading, they’re here.

Now I could go to bed. I fell asleep on the loveseat again reading The Gargoyle. Inspector Echo I think the world of the book, but that’s the thing about rage. It burns everything. It’s a desert; it’s a Hell. So what about an oasis? Once again, the best release is one I’m swearing off again. The money I do have, well, I don’t know where it’s going. Isn’t that a lie, like everything else it’s all about the ladies. A time of crisis and I deal in Babes, Biology, Bucks, and Bullets. If anything, I need to hit the store tomorrow and see if I can find supplies. My son is good at the moment, but what about me, Inspector Echo. I skipped dinner, and yes, I have food. I’m only full of such anger. It’s like my big sister tried to figure out.

An average day or The Apocalypse, Will Throws A Rager.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 260 ~It’s Called Love Will~

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The good news I’m not binging on toilet paper, I got enough for me, ha. While my kid, well, he has his puppy pads and grass, but the bad news isn’t I have come down with the love bug of a romantic sort. It’s Called Love Will.

Tuesday, March 17, 2020

Log 260 ~It’s Called Love Will~

Dear Future Wife,
I AM a Billionaire right now, that’s something I won’t keep a secret. Neither is the fact that I hate my father. My Love, I’ve said before as Meat Loaf sang, I would do anything for love, but I won’t do that. What, reconcile with my father, give away my firstborn, give up on my dreams? Anyway, as much as I despise him, and the fact that he abused my mom, cheated on her, and other things.

The thing is when she’s hurt or sick; he’s been there, always. I want to do the same, I will, babydoll. Let me be the Francesco to your Graziana if you’ll have me, My Love.

You can thank The Gargoyle for that reference. It’s a coincidence that I’m reading a story set during the Black Death while we live in the Plague Era. One more reason to make money before we’re all trapped inside. Of course, you know me so well, for me it’s paradise. Now I’m not sick with the Coronavirus (COVID-19), but I’m no fun when I’m out for the count. You’ll tell me it can’t be healthy to watch movies like Contagion, Daybreak, and Maggie. I’ll binge on The Walking Dead and Containment. How will you ever cope? I’ve talked about how love is often akin to dying. I don’t talk enough; you take my breath away. My knees get weak; my heart skips a beat, I’m falling for you, all over again. Don’t even get me started on calling you an angel, and here I want to go to heaven now.

I can’t say I know what to do when you get sick. Like my father, I sat with my mom, but that’s all I knew. There’s a friend of mine. Now when she had “women issues,” I bought her a ton of chocolate, gave her a blanket, and we watched movies. When it was My Dæmon, I stayed up all night, cradling him and reading something more “family-friendly.” I can tell you; I’ll be right here with you. One thing with me being such a baby, nothing phases me but to see you in pain or sick? A conversation for another time when it comes to the pain, but I did cringe when my son cried out because of a tick in his ear. I don’t know what terror awaits us, dear zombie apocalypse partner.

Together, It’s Called Love Will.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 259 ~Words Chosen Carefully Are Best~

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Well, perhaps my greatest weapon is silence. People think I’m STUPID when most days it’s how not to go to jail and then I come here and what do I say, here you go officer Exhibit A and lying? “Words Chosen Carefully Are Best”

Monday, March 16, 2020

Log 259 ~Words Chosen Carefully Are Best~

Hundred And Twenty-Eighth Rule

Madam Justice,
I AM a Billionaire right now, but rich people trust everyone else to be STUPID. My apologies for using that word again and for thinking it ever. The truth though Madam Justice, well what is right or fact. I want to talk about my words, but then the question is, who am I?

How I like to think I pick my words for a purpose, but over the past few days, it has only been a jumble. For some time now, I look at my words like I’ll be played out to Exit Music (For A Film), my “dang” fingers and dirty mind.

Let’s start there with my trying not to swear. Don’t get me wrong; there will be a time and place for it, Madam Justice. I’ve heard people talk about foul language as a sign of high intelligence. I still find it crass and tacky unless in the right context or you’re a hot Irish girl, thank you, Katie O’Shaughnessy. Speaking of women, I see myself talking one of three ways, one as “Beggin.” The second is logical; I got money, and what do I spend that money on, WOMEN. Third, a man should be a man. I’m a Dominant for God’s sake. Only how many times have I got in trouble for being direct, forward, aggressive, dangerous? The internet seems to think so too, can I look up anything that can’t find it’s way into sex? Today (Saturday Morning), I had to write down exactly what I was doing to keep focus. I would say I should make a grocery list, but yeah, the store.

What’s the word they’re using now, um Pandemic. I talk about it being the Plague Era, and I’m not afraid. Well, I’m still joking, but I haven’t ever seen Walmart like that. I continue to use the word “excited” because I am, I built worlds off of an apocalypse. Someone could discover Audible from my stories someday, I wonder. Don’t get me wrong; I still like Audible, but it’s hard sometimes because I get so caught up in the story. Yeah, it’s pretty strange, huh I can’t keep it in my pants, I’m still hearing Rainey moaning away “Daddy.” Last is my son, who can say what he wants and knows I’ll always listen close. Three words, I Love You otherwise I’d never know them. What else can I say? Words Chosen Carefully Are Best.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 258 ~Don’t Scare Me, Will~

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Make them remember what fear tastes like, I’m sure I heard that in a movie somewhere. So how does fear taste, soggy popcorn, more McDonald’s, that breath listening to Dark Notes? Don’t Scare Me, Will.

Sunday, March 15, 2020

Log 258 ~Don’t Scare Me, Will~

To Will:
I AM a Billionaire right now, but will you be as scared as the rest of the 1%? The good news is I won’t be afraid for much longer (Friday). No, I don’t mean to sound morbid, I’m not suicidal. Well, tell that to McDonald’s and Regal Cinema. What I mean is, as always, this is about to be your problem. I got you here, and I can only hope you do better. How so, well as the song goes, “Be Not So Fearful.” Yeah, good luck, right?

Now, if we talked about everything you fear, well, would it end? So here I am making up new ones like getting the Coronavirus (COVID-19). You would have to deal with it, but I’m a warrior, and soon you will be, no doubt. Why have such an idea, could it be the soggy bag of popcorn at Regal, while I watched The Hunt? I had to stop eating it, and besides the lousy food, I’m not as smart as I believe. Was the movie that goofy and am I so petty that I want to complain. Should I complain about McDonald’s too? Not their fault, I’m always eating there. If anything, I should go shopping, with the way things are going these days. Best case scenario, I’ll give you something to work with but let’s hope it won’t be the same ole Six Impossible Things:

  1. I AM Keeping It In My Pants (Day 002 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 001 No Fap)
  2. I AM Always The “Father” My Dæmon Deserves
    Failed
  3. I AM Reviewing Twenty “GULP” Poems
    Failed
  4. I AM Reviewing Raphael By Tillie Cole
    Failed
  5. I AM Making The Bed Every Morning No Matter What
    Completed
  6. I AM Finishing Writing My Latest Novella
    Failed

At least I’m making the bed because when I climb in I get, STUPID. I know that’s such an ugly word, but aren’t all of these that I continue to sputter, week after week. I’m afraid it will remain this way forever. Speaking of which My Dæmon. He has his age and his heart, and even with medication, I saw him coughing. Notice I never say I’m the greatest father, but he takes his meds every day. He got to stay in my room all day today; he sleeps on the bed. My Firstborn got his walk, but it’s not enough, I fear. I’m a father, but I’m also a man, and why can’t I keep it in my pants? To leave you with some hope, I present an opportunity. While I was “researching” Earth Erotic, I noticed they give backstories. “Merchandise” needs it. Something new for Six Impossible Things:

  1. I AM Keeping It In My Pants (Day 001 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
  2. I AM Always The “Father” My Dæmon Deserves
  3. I AM Reviewing Twenty “GULP” Poems
  4. I AM Reviewing Raphael By Tillie Cole
  5. I AM Writing A Backstory For Earth Erotic’s Sales Merchandise
  6. I AM Finishing Writing My Latest Novella

Keep making the bed, but with these hands, stuff and thangs Don’t Scare Me, Will.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 257 ~Will To Be Obscene~

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I do stay up way past my bedtime though, like my furry son, I am much too old to make things so simple anymore, but when my head hits the pillow, there are no ifs, and or buts, now about living… I’m Not Sleepy Will

Saturday, March 14, 2020

Log 257 ~Will To Be Obscene~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Billionaire right now, and as always, how do I make my money. Somebody has already made a “certain” parody of the Game Of Thrones. The only reason I’m awake now is “Sophie Turner’s Stumped” Quibi. I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again “adult entertainment” gets me moving like nothing else. Lady Lu, I had so many plans for this afternoon (Thursday). Of course, you know that worked killed me, almost. The old saying, what doesn’t kill you and whatnot. I’m still alive.

Sometimes that’s all you can say, I’m still alive, as the song goes. I know I didn’t make much sense yesterday, so I have to ask why. If it’s for that gasp, a giggle, those groans, well, you know why I rather not be, am I right? We are living in the plague era, and yet the flesh does not bother me. Indeed, this afternoon I went and bought fast food, one more reason I was out like a light. I should be racing off to the movies, but I had to come and talk to you. You’re not a curse Lady Lu but my blessing. When I woke up, the first thing I felt, after THAT, was inspired to write. She’s Good To Come Back, a looming chapter perhaps for my novella? Only now I’m beginning to lose it, didn’t I say this would be a HARD week anyway.

I’m not giving in to the stress, or will I sing, touch me in the morning? Doesn’t help I’m still listening to Dark Notes. I didn’t even get to read any of The Gargoyle today; I could have but exhaustion. I didn’t make it to the Den, I’m on my made bed, but I passed out. The things that ten more minutes of work can do to you and why did I stay that extra time. I’m not the man I want to be Lady Lu. At the moment, that man is Emeric Marceaux with his Ivory Westbrook. I’m not Dennis Hof, capable of running a cathouse. Even now, I’m not the man who talked a hot mom out of her clothes. All-day it was that if a man can’t take care of his family, what right does he have to one. Lady Lu, I would still be in hiding.

Only this life now when I Will To Be Obscene?

I Will Have No Fear

Log 256 ~Incorrigible Wills, Insatiable Infatuations~

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Well, today, I wanted to sound intelligent; I should try that at work or better yet saying anything at all. Only all I have is three and four-letter words and not the nice kind, so I’m looking for grander. Incorrigible Wills, Insatiable Infatuations.

Friday, March 13, 2020

Log 256 ~Incorrigible Wills, Insatiable Infatuations~

Hey Lady Sophia,
I AM a Billionaire right now, so I can afford a massive dictionary and thesaurus. So ask me why I’m using such big words for other than listening to Dark Notes. How about reading The Gargoyle when I’m not falling asleep? Don’t take that as a criticism of Andrew Davidson’s Masterpiece. As the song goes, “work sucks, I know;” I’m exhausted, and the book tumbled down to my chest. To think I can go to sleep with this HUMMING. I saw some power company out and about today, but they didn’t fix whatever it is, my madness.

Like the stories, I’ve been paying attention to these many days. Of course, we could talk about my obsession with alliteration. Nope, to quote another song, “sex and horror are the new Gods.” Lady Sophia, you know that’s what I’m all about in life. On the FEAR front, do you want facts or fiction? If we choose fiction, let’s go with The Walking Dead. I told Indiana Gone I’m discombobulated and why? There is Eugene’s love life, The Battle For Hilltop, Judith’s first human kill. Fact is, here and now, everyone is talking about Coronavirus (COVID-19). Yes, I am still quite entertained, which I shouldn’t be right? Lady Sophia, this is my bread and butter; all my favorite stories are the end of the world. It depends in some instances if we talk about a single life knowing alteration forever.

“It is an awesome feeling to know you are about to change someone’s life forever.” ― Tomorrow, When the War Began (2010)

“whoever saves one life, save the world entire.”

“Lust is to the other passions what the nervous fluid is to life; it supports them all, lends strength to them all ambition, cruelty, avarice, revenge, are all founded on lust.” ― Marquis de Sade

Being a writer, isn’t that what I want to do somehow? I’m writing, or should I say not writing my story, which now needs a new name, but Cherry will still be front and center. Not like I am going to work on it tonight, why bother lying. Speaking of lying, I’m still not with my new infatuation. Where do I even begin; with Math? How about Wish giving me all sorts of ideas. Between the rain, reading Siren, and trying to drink more water. No wonder swimsuits keep popping up. More stuff for the submissive or dang it buying a submissive. I keep going with more books. As I said, I’m into Dark Notes, and in The Gargoyle, remember the Narrator lost some of his “parts.” So much stress. And I am barely hanging on with everything Lady Sophia.

The pain in my life is always labeled, To Be Continued. I’m trying to write out Incorrigible Wills, Insatiable Infatuations.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 254 ~Now That’s Will Silence~

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It’s quiet, too quiet or I’m going deaf in one way or another, I swear the things we learn to live with and why should we, I don’t like raising my voice I know that when there’s such great music and books. Now That’s Will Silence.

Wednesday, March 11, 2020

Log 254 ~Now That’s Will Silence~

Forgive Me Echo,
I AM a Billionaire right now, but shouldn’t silence come free. Yes, Inspector Echo, the humming continues, and I’m back to the drawing board as to the cause. Well, unless I would like to scream as I fall off the roof. Knowing me, though, I would never only we’ll get to that. At least on Sunday, I heard something quite beautiful. Eugene and his “ladylove” Stephanie singing. I have a few in my life though, one’s married, another is asexual, and shall we talk about the one I’ve wanted to see naked.

Keep it PG, well I am trying Inspector Echo. If we have to talk about something in my pants, what about the money I saved today? I know I was craving McDonald’s as always, but I only bought what I needed from the store today (Monday). While this might sound mundane and give way to gross thoughts, I bought stuff to unclog the toilet. I still need to buy a new toilet seat for downstairs, but nobody is complaining. Of course, then we have my Old Man. I finally told him the other car isn’t working, won’t even start now. Not that I was using it, but yeah, I’m losing it, and nevertheless, that’s a blow. You know I’m a hoarder of everything, but when did I become a car guy? Still, I must be silent, I wasn’t paying for the car, so it’s his.

I can’t give him any more of my problems like Norton and H&R Block. You tell me not to worry, and perhaps it’s been a week of nothing. No warnings, no alerts, no fear, but if I’m not obsessing over that, what else is there? Cherry, I haven’t spoken to her in a couple of days. I didn’t tell her to shut up. But don’t I know how to drive a girl away. At least it broke me out of my pantyhose/stockings/thigh high fetish for now. I’ll confess, Fechikano isn’t going away anytime soon. Still, I go back and forth when it comes to what a girl says. I’ve talked about audiobooks and how I enjoyed listening to the character of Rainey Summer Day. One word, “Daddy.” I finished “Lust” today, but Chasity Griffin shudders. Finally, there’s my new fetish, let’s say, the girls don’t talk much, not at all.

Sorry about that Inspector Echo so, Now That’ Will Silence.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 253 ~Willing Form Of Excess~

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As the song goes, why didn’t I say, the things I needed to say, in a way I guess I’m following suit with everyone else, and the truth shall set you free, of the mortal coil that is, falling in love SIGH. Willing Form Of Excess, yep it’s too much

Tuesday, March 10, 2020

Log 253 ~Willing Form Of Excess~

Dear Future Wife,
I AM a Billionaire right now, and as always, I want more. My Love, my heart exists in the seven pounds of fluff, that is, My Firstborn. I could hold it my IPad or Kindle when I get a new one, of course. At one point, it could fit like the chocolate on my pillow. My heart is the boom in my ears with whatever I choose to listen to. I could keep it in my wallet, in my pocket, it is every word on the screen. This heart of mine, baby girl, could fit on a computer screen, and I wanted so badly to see it in the mirror. Then one day SUDDENLY, I met you.

Yes, I like Billy Ocean, but ahem that’s beside the point. Sometimes I think I’m drowning in you baby doll. Have you ever noticed that love is always akin to dying? Knees get weak, can’t catch your breath, falling? Butterflies in your stomach, silence, fly away. I could go on, but love seems scary, painful, and torturous. So you think I’m running away from you and the children. I’ve said I’ll never be one of those men with a “Man Cave,” I prefer a Study. Okay, I will have a TV and video games. Anyway, my point is and I’ve said this enough I am afraid if you ever got to know everything. If you knew what I spent three hours today looking up? You know my businesses, my writings, my dreams, but I am a greedy such and such.

Running, I’ll admit to that, but as the song goes, take me as I am, take my life, who am I, Robin Hood? Now, If I were yours indeed, as you are mine, my heart, like the Grinch, grows three times. My Love, there wouldn’t be room for everything I feel for you and our family. I’ve said I would not destroy my vision, not even for you. I’m all Tangled with you being my New Dream. To share this with you, to never burn it away but to bathe in it. You’re my mermaid, my siren, my tsunami, and did I mention I never learned to swim. Worse is I know who I am, what I am, and like Edward, to Bella, I want to protect your soul. There is a reason I’ve always liked good girls, innocent, pure.

I build this world even greater, More, for love of you, Willing Form Of Excess.

“You’ll never be just anything. A tsunami can never be ‘just’ a wave.”
“Get off my chin.”
“I like that about you. Waves are banal. Tsunamis reshape the Earth. Under the right circumstances, even entire civilizations.”
I blink.
“You’re going to be one hell of a woman one day” Iced

I Will Have No Fear

Log 252 ~Heart Hurts More Than Body~

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My Ma would tell me to go easy with all the seasoning salt. I’ve got quite a long history with women, plus I have my furry kid, I haven’t had a heart attack yet, but I know all about broken hearts. Heart Hurts More Than Body.

Monday, March 9, 2020

Log 252 ~Heart Hurts More Than Body~

Hundred And Twenty-Seventh Rule

Madam Justice,
I AM a Billionaire right now, if only because I refuse to see a doctor. Not because I’m afraid. Indeed in this time of plague with the Coronavirus (COVID-19), I’m excited. Now I know that doesn’t sound right, and it shouldn’t, not until there are zombies. Okay, I’ll stop, I know I’m not funny. I’ve never laughed so much until it hurts. Madam Justice, I’m not one for self-harm. Fists at drywall, STUPID things while people watch. Giving into FAPPING (it’s Saturday). Anyway, my body takes a lot, but what about my heart?

Most recently, what I said about Cherry and I don’t mean my novella. I speak my heart to you and the others Madam Justice. No secrets, but you and I both know that’s a lie. If I told you everything, then we would see the end, and that’s how you know I’m not suicidal. Still, it happens the same way; I try to talk to one girl, I speak innocence to another, I don’t tell one more and wham. I’m having a “Harriet the Spy” moment because it’s like they weren’t supposed to see that. I put my heart out here so the body can keep going. The thing is nobody wants my heart. I think that’s why I’ve been down as of late. If I don’t write out how I am, the body keeps it in, and I “mess” up, horny, hatred, heartfelt, whatever.

Women though SIGH, let’s talk about something else that hurts my heart, My Dæmon. My little boy is getting older; he’s bumping into walls, avoiding his walks on cold days, sleeping more. Then again, I’m in bed, and he only wants to be near his Dad. I’m still not working on my stories, and I miss them—what a waste of the day. Somebody took my shift at the Day Job and how did I spend it, Madam Justice, lying here looking at the usual. Even my FEAR of my father doesn’t have me doing anything. Okay, so hurting my friends or them getting hurt, Indiana Gone told me she got punched in the face. My little boy and my writing, what more do I love in this world. The man in the mirror that is such a waste that it hurts to witness myself.

Only the body doesn’t quit, fingers, eyes, ears, dang humming, Heart Hurts More Than Body.

I Will Have No Fear