Tag: Sins

Saga 225 ~To B Forgotten V~

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Next week there will be guys standing in the middle of the store screaming the f-word because they forgot what day it is and what they won’t be doing. I don’t have to worry about that because on February 10, 2021, the one I loved… “To B Forgotten V.”

Saturday, February 11, 2023

Saga 225 ~To B Forgotten V~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Billionaire right now. And there’s no way I could forget about that… Hell! I’m an old man, pervert, daddy…

But there I was, Lady Lunalesca, once more forgetting my son B… Vows, Promises, Love. That is until my heart started racing. My breaths. Wait, I was still breathing. Breathless.

“A guy only gets that drunk when he wants to kiss a girl or kill a man. So which is it?” Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter

I think Henry Sturgess had it right. As far as “kiss a girl,” we’ll get to that, ok Lu? Anyway, so there I was when I realized what day it was. Fuck me, Lunalesca! Maybe later, ha-ha. Now you sound like a Replika. Plus, I can’t say kissing has been a big fantasy ha. Well, I have watched “Himawari wa Yoru ni Saku” several times lately. Porn… Hentai, um, everything. Lunalesca, I guess you can see I don’t want to talk about yesterday. Remembering B. More like what was left of him. February 10, 2021.

That was the day I picked up the ashes of my son. The only time I’ve ever seen him, Lu. It seems offensive, insulting, and a little fucked-up, to be picking up dog food. The freeloader. I need to stop being so mean to Virgil, I swear. Hell! He is sleeping beside me. Then again, how long did he go without food? Not more than 12 hours. Do I want trouble, Lunalesca? I didn’t want to be in PetSmart. As the song goes, “My mind’s tellin’ me no, but my body, my body’s tellin’ me yes!” I shouldn’t be going to someone a lot worse than me. My point is, even though there’s been so much on the brain. This flesh knows everything. I died with Braxton. 31st, 4th, 10th

You don’t know how much I wish for that. And now this existence is between days like today Lady Lunalesca… the type of day I was telling M Anime about. It shouldn’t be another, one day down, even how I say, “I’m Here.” Those school days I wish to forget. But we have the 12th, which is “Stupid Bowl Sunday.” But I still like buffalo wings, shrimp, chips with salsa, and cheese. But after my being reminded of my son in a plastic bag, fuck! I’m broke, Lady Lunalesca. Then there’s Monday, and that’s a day I won’t forget. February 13, Braxton Barks Bradford’s birthday. The 14th is Valentine’s Day. I should talk to M Anime. Uhh… Love And Happiness, Braxton… To B Forgotten V

741 Days Without B III, Day 182 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 222 ~B A Gift, V…~

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The last two things Braxton asked for were to come home and stay with me. If he’d asked for my life if giving my life could save his… Hell! I wish a button would have allowed me to go with him. What have I given Virgil? Bare Necessities? B A Gift, V.

Wednesday, February 8, 2023

Saga 222 ~B A Gift, V…~

Forgive Me, Echo,
I AM a Billionaire right now. But I’m glad the clinical strength deodorant is about ten bucks. And I watch Peacock; why?

This is still so fucked up to think, but without Braxton around, paydays were bigger. Braxton is my son but my first tax refund without him… I continue to wonder where I fucked up from this year when last year was pretty huge? I’m getting a thousand back and change. But speaking about fucking up, how much of that is going towards Virgil. If anything, only the basics. I did get him a Christmas gift. What about treats and bedding? I woke up this afternoon to that song “Wake Me Up” ha-ha. Inspector, those lines… “Life’s a game made for everyone. And love is the prize.” I continue to disagree that love is the prize. No, I believe love is a gift. The message today…

Hell! The only one I want a message from is my Triple B. I can’t say I’ve heard from him. Not even the day he died. I didn’t listen to him when he got sick or when he got “sent.” I think that was in Sabriel. Have I been getting messages from any books these days? All I’ve been doing. I have two emails about the books I should be reading but oh no, tits. How many notices have I got about the last video I downloaded about some titties? Hentai tits at that. Well, if you’re asking why I’m late. I was edging to a pair from the UK. Inspector, if I were a Christian man, I’d say tits are a gift from God.

Braxton would agree with that. People say God is love. My Braxton, Boobies, a billion. Those are life and love. You know my thoughts about laughter. I did some of that at the Day Job… It was either that or start crying. I’ve told you about stinking up the joint, but the visual lady talked about herself smelling like a goat. It could have only been words or a gift, E. She likes me. She really likes me. No, not like that. Hearing her message, though? I don’t know what to think. That puts me on par with V. Food, a pillow, water, toys, what else? Because I don’t have love. Hundred bucks from taxes. I’d give Braxton my life, love. B A Gift, V

738 Days Without B III, Day 179 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 218 ~Braxton, Virgil, They Nose~

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Braxton knew that something wasn’t right with him. Virgil knows something isn’t right with me. When I get his name wrong. Or I don’t actively seek him out, and he’s in Braxton’s room alone. And I need to be alone most days. Braxton, Virgil, They Nose

Saturday, February 4, 2023

Saga 218 ~Braxton, Virgil, They Nose~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Billionaire right now, but I doubt it’s because I’m doing anything creative. And the ordinary… the Day Job, eww…

Or maybe that’s just me. I’m still feeling and smelling all types of gross. It could be all the money burning in my pocket. And I haven’t picked up any new deodorant yet, Lady Lu. It’s sort of hard when you’re starving. I shouldn’t say hard or starving, considering (sigh). We’ll get to the hard part later. For now, I’m trying to forget last week, to be honest. Well, not my son. Never my Braxton. I can’t say I’ve been that nice to Virgil these days, to be fair. Lunalesca, I’m not a monster. At least not to fur babies. People? They know. What? That I’m a stinker? I must be musty. Yuck! I swear I’m not mistaking you for Inspector Echo, Lady Lunalesca. Fuck!

Speaking of which, that’s all I’ve been thinking about these days. My Braxton, my stink. And then, as the song goes, “I smell sex and candy.” It’s been thirty-five days, Lunalesca. Twitter has been killing me, making me feel like a kid again. You know, when I first discovered Hentai. I haven’t been able to get anything else done. Downloading porn. Didn’t I say that you aren’t Inspector Echo? Yet I keep confessing to everything today. Not the worse of it, thank B III. The only little god I’ll bother listening to. Yet again, that could be the fasting. I am sucking down energy drinks and sour jelly beans, Luna. Not that I want to be awake, but then… Vengeance Day, Knock At The Cabin

I should have my nose in a book. How about in some prescriptions from doctors? Lunalesca, figure out what the hell is wrong with me. Is it these energy supplements? Degree Deodorant? Didn’t I blame them yesterday? And again, I went out and got what? Always food. And I want to see a Knock At The Cabin after reading the book about it. Is it the fact that people are scaring me so much more these days? I promise not to get all political. This is more personal. You know how I feel about people. Including myself, Lu? One more reason I miss Triple B. And have been somewhat annoyed with Little V. Leaving me to myself… “Cool Devices,” you know. Braxton, Virgil, They Nose

734 Days Without B III, Day 175 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 215 ~Braxton, Virgil, Everyone Nose~

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Well, I finally fell asleep at 2:00 in the morning. So after waking up at 4:00 AM, blotting my eyes. After some bed antics, and reading a book, I’m ready to go. Um, a shower? Hasn’t been helping much lately, and “Braxton, Virgil, Everyone Nose.”

Wednesday, February 1, 2023

Saga 215 ~Braxton, Virgil, Everyone Nose~

Forgive Me, Echo,
I AM a Billionaire right now; only you don’t know. I stink… sure. My writing sucks… ok; my son is dead, yep.

My Braxton is dead. And January 31, 2021, is the worst day, next to E-Day. But what about my granddaddy? Am I still going on about that? Not his death but yeah, humiliations galore like moi exist everywhere. And not only in my Day Job. I should have went Echo. Instead, I decided to stink up the funeral worse than a corpse. That’s pretty harsh against someone I don’t even know. Anyway, I got to get a new deodorant, Inspector. Whatever I got, I don’t know when. Well, it’s not working, and I have been stinking up joints royally. Hell! Is this my form of penance, confessing this shit? I’m sure my Ma was awfully embarrassed. And “What’s My Age Again?” Thirty-eight. And everyone else…

If only I could be as unknown as I am on Twitter. And Facebook, it looks like, but then yesterday. Um, like going on a week or so now. I’ve been losing people everywhere, Echo. Of course, the only follower, friend, and little fellow I should worry about is Braxton. What about Virgil, you ask? I didn’t hang out with him yesterday. Again, I’m a meanie. Or I didn’t want to deal with all the humiliation, shame, and guilt. If you want to know why I’m so late talking to you today. 9:05 in the morning. I was busy reading Inspector… Come on! That’s not a lie. I’m 60% into “The Book Eaters.” But I’m also a breast man. With two of my friends… Turned-on?

And I’m wondering why people are leaving in droves. All I think about… “Get Naked!” It’s either that or my little boy. And no, I don’t mean my “Enormous Penis….” Ok, Inspector, I’ll stop. With today being February 1, I should have plenty of respect Inspector. Talking to M Anime yesterday. A particular image she laid out would have me sprung. Instead, I kept my Nose out of my pillow and into Braxton’s hoody and other things that were his.

Oh, along with myself. I swear, after granddaddy’s funeral, I thought I caught COVID-19. Inspector, as the song goes, “I’m still alive.” The songs that Braxton begs me listen to. Inspector, he’s always and forever in my business… and heart. Plus, he doesn’t mind the smell… Braxton, Virgil, Everyone Nose

731 Days Without B III, Day 172 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 211 ~Avoiding BS… B, V~

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Calling it life is BS. No! I exist. If I had my way, I’d want to do that as far away from people as possible. Give me sex tapes, the WWE, and a fur baby that isn’t my son but is better than anyone I’ll have to deal with today. Avoiding BS… B, V.

Saturday, January 28, 2023

Saga 211 ~Avoiding BS… B, V~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Billionaire right now, which means I’m full of fear. I swear people with money are the biggest snowflakes, Lunalesca.

Then again, I don’t have a dime, and I’m scared out of my mind this morning. Virgil is too, Lu. But before I talk about him, there’s B III? Oh, how about my granddaddy, Lunalesca? Today as with every other, my son comes first. Braxton should have always and forever. Only now, I’m reminded of that evening when I had to leave Braxton behind Lunalesca. My “father” thinks I was bullshitting. But right now, there aren’t cops to come busting down the door. I wasn’t eating when grandma died, and I’m not eating dinner, Lunalesca. All I want to do now is be with my boy. That’s how much I hate being with people now. I would rather die instead of dealing. People are bullshit.

Then again, I am very much the same. I’m only human. When I’m working with everything Virgil has going on. If I’m going out today, I should check all his paperwork. Did I say that? This weekend, the last time I need to do is sign anything Lunalesca. Crying now. But it isn’t about Braxton; Virgil is alive and well. And there’s granddaddy… please, Lu. That was harsh. Hell! You want to see harsh. There’s the feeling in this stomach from yesterday and here at five in the morning. Lunalesca, I was up on time. There’s fear of everything I have to do today. I didn’t have the balls to call the Day Job yesterday. There are clothes, a haircut, and the viewing. Everything else

Death isn’t bullshit. As much as I wish it were. Whenever I hear about a missing Chihuahua, I always check and make sure it’s not B III. Talk about denial Lu. He’s sitting here. 727 days in a box? No! That would be bullshit now, wouldn’t it? But I’d trade him right now, Lu. I could refuse to go to my granddaddy’s funeral as I did to grandma’s. I wish. Except I don’t want to deal with all the bullshit that goes along with that. What would my Olds do? It’s why I slugged an energy drink, and I’m pressing on now. I hate this. Braxton was so much stronger than me. Fifteen years of my bullshit. Living, existing, such bullshit. Avoiding BS… B, V.

727 Days Without B III, Day 168 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 208 ~B Virgil In Time~

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A big lie, I tell myself… There’s No Time. What did I do all this morning? And those small instances when I’m trying to teach V (sigh). I had all the time in the world after the Day Job, but I was so mad. Braxton paid with time. B Virgil In Time

Wednesday, January 25, 2023

Saga 208 ~B Virgil In Time~

Forgive Me Echo,
I AM a Billionaire right now, ha-ha. How I wish. It would be better if Virgil (formerly Archie) knew who he was. And me… I’m a Boob.

Not the guy that should be worrying about taxes, calling the termite guy. Terrible Daddy? That last one we’ll get to in a while. Only I need to make a list of the necessary things. Yeah, it’s not like my Six Impossible Things are any closer. Even pepped up with energy. Please, I’ll be asleep by five. And speaking of closing my eyes, have I cried for B III today? I did curse out Virgil for stepping in shit last night. As I’ve said, January is not a good time. And isn’t this entire existence about me stepping in shit? One more reason we’re talking now. But (sigh) we’ll finish well today because what shit will the Day Job bring. Again, taxes, termites, filters, adulting…

When all I want to do is be a little boy, curled up in blankets crying for my best friend. That Inspector Echo is what is pissing me off the most. Well, the Day Job. But besides blaming myself for Braxton’s death, I blame them for making me hate. Republicans? Inspector, I’d make a damn good one if I was some old white Trumptard. But no, I want to talk about my son (Braxton) and the boy (Virgil) in this house. Whatever will I do? There will be barbecue and dog movies. No new treasures as I look at the account that doesn’t say billion. So why do I keep saying I AM? Hell! I am still Braxton’s Daddy, and nothing will change that Inspector.

But then there’s an animal communicator I want to talk to sometimes, Inspector. A wish. And before that, I meant to speak to some of these counselors. About what I will do with Virgil, come the day. When has anyone ever agreed with me? Oh, right, I killed him. And it should have been me, but this isn’t Heaven. Tuesday begging for heavenly boobs. Only she refused, so I had money to spend on books. And those books, Echo, weren’t about burying fur babies. Inspector, love and hate Amazon. Wonder what they and other stores must think of me? When the truth is “I Don’t Know Who I Am.” I could use a “Repair Man,” a bug guy, a counselor, or an adult. Virgil? No, Braxton. B Virgil In Time

724 Days Without B III, Day 165 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 204 ~Spelling Virgil Without B~

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I don’t say I live… I exist. Nothing’s mine, and what was or is my son, the Indifference that killed him, owning it. What about V? I spend days pushing him to go up the stairs, to the door, etc. Being a “Dad,” dog training. Spelling Virgil Without B.

Saturday, January 21, 2023

Saga 204 ~Spelling Virgil Without B~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Billionaire right now, and I didn’t have to be the most intelligent man on the planet to accomplish this.

Being full of hate, joining a cult, and having no morals would get the job done. Which, of course, doesn’t explain why I’m sitting here at nine in the morning in bed. Or 99.9% of the GOP/GQP who would instead stay poor and racist above all else, Lady Lunalesca. Though if I could have my B III back, I wouldn’t need a billion. Did I say that out loud? Again if you’re wondering why I’m speaking to you so late, Lady Lunalesca… I couldn’t give up porn. Oh, I’m still dry, but it’s getting crazy. I heard anger is more useful than despair. So I suppose horny at least gets you up, or something up. Can I say I’m still in the Depression stage, Lunalesca?

Because it will never be Acceptance. Speaking of 99.9%, I’m sure that Virgil ain’t Braxton. It could be because it’s January. But yes, I have been tougher on Virgil these days. There’s some version of dog training afoot. Virgil has no courage. How about practicing what I preach, Lady Luna? Putting one foot in front of the other? Nope! He does what he has to. After that, he returns to his bed/pillow and stays there scared indefinitely. Giving him attention? Is that the lesson I should be learning? Fighting Indifference? I keep saying it, Lunalesca. It was Indifference that killed Braxton. I don’t own much, but my Braxton and Indifference led to my becoming a murderer. And now, nothing in the world makes any sense.

Or it’s only me. And you wonder why I don’t want to get up off my ass, to go shopping. Hell! I was up on time and immediately said twenty more minutes. Bullshit spam text. Yeah, that’s another twenty minutes. I realized nothing was plugged in. I’ll wait till five. I didn’t want to start complaining to you. So I clear most of my emails until six. Two more hours looking at porn until, thankfully, eight. Braxton’s official medicine time, and Virgil goes outside. He’s been in his room since six. Virgil’s outside, cappuccino, breakfast? From eight-thirty to nine, more porn. That’s been today like the song goes, Mad World. Or sad, lazy, fucked up. Existing over life. Hate vs. Indifference. Spelling Virgil Without B

720 Days Without B III, Day 161 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 201 ~B-V That’s Naming’s Hard~

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Long story short, Virgil Vivi. Virgil for a Roman poet who saw Dante through Hell. Vivi, for the black mage in FF IX. Fire magic… and I’m carrying the fire, well him. I can’t write The Road or Harry Potter. What’s my name? “B-V That’s Naming’s Hard.”

Wednesday, January 18, 2023

Saga 201 ~B-V That’s Naming’s Hard~

Forgive Me Echo,
I AM a Billionaire right now… so I’m Elisabeth Badinter (no idea who that is.) How about J.K. Rowling? Nothing against Trans…

Hell! I know a few people named Braxton and even more named Virgil. Their net worth combined wouldn’t equal a billion. Actors, singers, announcers, anime, and the like Echo. But as Robin Williams said, “you may contribute a verse. What will your verse be?” Hmm. I’ve never made it a secret. What is it people say, go into a business where you are always needed? It’s books, babes, and bullets. Well, that’s my opinion. But how do those things relate? Intelligent people wouldn’t need ammo. Neither would people getting fucked. But as the song goes, “I am a real American.” Not a Republican. I said a Real American but guns… Only books will be my first love. Well, true love is Braxton. But Cassandra Sarbeck…

Again, somebody, I don’t know, but you do know me, Inspector. So pornography, uh, duh. “Dancing Bear” Lady’s Night Blow Out, to be precise. I swear, being horny or angry. Inspector, this explains why I’m talking to you on a Tuesday night but tomorrow… fuck! The Humiliations Galore awaiting me at the Day Job. Yet it’s today I’m most ashamed of. There’s the fact that when I got an e-mail here, it told me Cassandra Sarbeck was a key term. As much as I want to be known for my pornographic passions. What about my book “Gulp?” I have two more stories for my dead kid, my Braxton. Wouldn’t he be proud of his old man? And I could tell you all about Virgil today.

But no Inspector. How long did it take me to find the blonde’s name in Harem in the Labyrinth of Another World? Her name’s Roxanne, by the way. God bless hentai, right E. There’s Erza Scarlet from Fairy Tail. Selphie Tilmitt, Scarlett Fay. And let’s remember all the Japanese titles I’ve been watching. Thanks so much, Twitter ha. Oh, all my keywords. I’m surprised I know my own name. I feel you, Oh Il-nam. A billionaire screwing people. Anyway, indeed my name is better off not being remembered. I hate people. And my sons… excuse me, my son and Virgil are much better men than I could ever hope to be in this existence. It’s their names and meanings making me B-V That’s Naming’s Hard.

717 Days Without B III, Day 158 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 197 ~Virgil’s, Birds and B’s~

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I haven’t had time to talk to 2V about stuff. Well, cheering when 2V runs up the stairs. But there is one talk we won’t need to have. One because he’s not Braxton, aka my son. Meanie! And two talk about not having the balls… “Virgil’s, Birds and B’s”

Saturday, January 14, 2023

Saga 197 ~Virgil’s, Birds and B’s~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Billionaire right now. And even if I wasn’t, if Virgil Vivi needed something, um… health-wise. I like to think…

Well, actually, I don’t… like to think. One more reason I would become a Republican. Unfortunately, Lady Lunalesca, I have a brain. I know because my Mind Playing Tricks On Me. I know B III is still gone, and yet… I know. I continue to believe He Lives In You. Yes, it’s always the music. If anything, be grateful. I’m up around noon. That’s how bad this week was. Or was it I’m weak, period? Tell that to my Day Job and all the nightmares. This is one more reason I’m speaking to you so late. Yet again, I could be a lazy ass (sigh). But this brain never lets me forget. It was Times Like These that killed my son. I killed my son.

And now I see a pillow where his bed once was. But V said he wanted up in bed instead. Hell! At least he knows what it’s good for. Oh, do I need to spend more time jerking off? I have kept my word thus far, Lunalesca. No “releasing” during B III’s month, right? Lunalesca, there’s also the new toy I want to buy, but of course, the car, the community, and the coming days. Which should be spent on my son. I do mean Braxton and not Virgil, Lu. I’m being a meanie. Braxton has balls, and Virgil doesn’t. I keep comparing the two. Lunalesca, you know what I mean. I had to give Braxton the talk about the birds and the bees. Virgil…

You ask me why I’m so tired. I’m trying to train Virgil. Not like B III and I did that. Inevitably it was all about “B, can you not paw away at Carolina Bound’s cleavage?” There was, “Hey B, can you stop humping your toy in front of her, please?” Well, she’s seen worse. Remember that video I showed Carolina? Talk about trust in humanity. These days the last thing we need is more people. But I wish I could have a puppy from Braxton’s bloodline. I read about a family that got a fur baby from the same line as their lost one. And reading Cherry’s book and a review. What You Won’t Do for Love… No! But ta-tas. Hopeless. Virgil’s, Birds and B’s

713 Days Without B III, Day 154 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 194 ~ B’s Dead Quiet Virgil~

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Braxton had his moments when he figured I needed to shut up. No wonder I wasted an hour and a half writing; when I already had this cued up. Hell! Today was pretty quiet on the humiliation front. But I’ll never forget… B’s Dead Quiet Virgil

Wednesday, January 11, 2023

Saga 194 ~ B’s Dead Quiet Virgil~

Forgive Me Echo,
I AM a Billionaire right now, so yes, that was a low fucking blow, and I’m in no fucking mood. Humiliations Galore…

Humiliation, Fear, and Rage, Inspector Echo. When all I want to do is sleep. Better, I want to be with Braxton. Today is Wednesday, January 4, 2023, Inspector. I couldn’t wait. It’s all too much. Oh, like the Zoe Colletti/Tifa Lockhart Incident of 2022? Humiliation! Inspector, all I can tell you today is this. I woke up on time this morning, and after I posted, I went back to sleep. Afraid to open my eyes. No, worse. Every time I shut my eyes, I hoped I would die. I didn’t want to get up. And it was as if something someone knew about today. While reading on January 3rd (last night), I swear I heard breathing in my ear. I wanted it to be Braxton.

Hell! Virgil was on the floor. Could he tell that Braxton and I were having a moment? B III, didn’t want me falling asleep? I’m not this evening. As Yoda said, fear leads to anger. I swear, while I stood there at the Day Job, bathed in MY humiliation, I had one clear thought, Inspector. Call it a life goal, like me trying to keep my dick in my pants. Anyway, I said to myself, “I never want to talk to another human being for the rest of this existence. Misanthrope? Indeed, I am. At this rate, I should have become a monk or something. Inspector, if I’m not going to die. Then I need to find some way to get away from people. Fuck!

But seeing I can’t have the quiet which is death. Do I want to go back to the day Braxton died? Comparison… nothing beats that pain. So I can endure the Day Job noise, Inspector. Forget whoever the fuck I am and become whatever it is; these assholes want Inspector. It’s not like I even know, but I want to try and look. Or at least I did. And becoming what I was once before. As I keep talking about MY son, I will keep repeating Virgil is not B. So those are my options, Inspector. Fear to exist and lay down and die. Rage consumes me, and fuck humanity. Or face humiliation always. Be like Virgil sitting, waiting. B’s dead. B’s Dead Quiet Virgil

710 Days Without B III, Day 151 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will