Tag: Sins

Tale 025 ~Virgil Floors It Braxton~

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I’m not going up to the top floor. Hell! I’m lucky any day I stay above ground. Uh, lucky? “All These Things That I’ve Done” I deserve the ending to Drag Me To Hell. If the floor keeps going as it is or V vomits again… “Virgil Floors It Braxton”

Wednesday, July 26, 2023

Tale 025 ~Virgil Floors It Braxton~

Forgive Me, Echo,
I AM a Billionaire right now, and I doubt that comes from recycling. I can also afford a maid. Uh, Special K…

Have I ever told you the story about trying to sleep with her? I couldn’t let her stick to cleaning. Oh no, not me! Mr. Wanna be Christian Grey. Hell! I’m also still pulling that stuff when it comes to M-Anime. It’s always pedal to the metal Inspector Echo. Speaking of being in a rush… Nice Guys Finish Last; I know, Inspector. Women here? Nope, I was returning from the store only to discover 2V losing his damn mind. I mean, I was talking about drinking to one of the girls, and here’s V vomiting all over. Eww! Could you not ask me what brought it on? Then again. Even to this very day. I don’t know why Braxton got sick when he did. And I was slow to help…

And by the time I did… Do I need to begin the morning with tears? Well, another crying session, since I was when I woke up on time again sigh. Two hours I wasted, Inspector, on? I swear I would never leave the bed if I had my way. Not ever again. Yet, somehow, I’m trying to make it a habit not to keep the laptop near the bed. Inspector, incentivizing comfy spots. When it comes to being comfortable… 27×27. Remember that Inspector, would you, please? The size of B’s pillow. I swear I want to be mad at Virgil Vivi. I destroyed one trying to wash it when he crapped. Now, he’s thrown up on another. And didn’t I mention I have no money? The floor beside the AC…

The moment I step out of bed, Inspector… Nothing good ever happens with a step. Inspector, how can it come as any surprise that Virgil doesn’t want to walk around? Braxton said it easy enough. Not one more step. And he died in his bed. A way to go, B. I’m sick of running away, Inspector. I’m scared all the damn time. Sleeping, dying, uh… You know what I want to say. I told M Anime I’m a man but to be some Onlyfans girl. Hell! Johnny Sins, Isiah Maxwell, Dennis Hof, Hugh Hefner etc. Men living in bed, hmm. Or if I could say, this far no further and sit here and write. I EXIST with the breaks off. Crashing. Virgil Floors It Braxton

906 Days Without B III, Day 347 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Tale 021 ~Virgil, B III Of…~

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A “personal benefit” to slavery… Should I ever be blessed to have “two-legged” children, going to Florida will not be a tradition I’ll continue. Who knows, the GOP might be out of power? Tell that to racism. Free of it, indeed. Virgil, B III Of…

Saturday, July 22, 2023

Tale 021 ~Virgil, B III Of…~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Billionaire right now. The benefits of slavery, Blah! Rather, the enslavement of others. Pardon my language, but fucking Florida!

But you know who I’ll never say no to ever again? My son. Because he’s dead and not here anymore… Except for Thursdays, I hope. Only I hold onto my grief, guilt, and the attempted grift. If I should ever edit. Let alone publish the novels I’ve written. B III. Lunalesca, I have all the time in the world right now. What do I do with it? We’ll get there. Now B III? He was the bravest man I’ve ever known. Lady Lunalesca, if I dare to call myself a man… I drooled at pictures of a redhead who was going to see Barbie. Hmm. Braxton was/is a man, that’s for damn sure. Anyway, next to my love and grief for My Lost Boy… FEAR

In case you didn’t realize what I’m doing. I doubt you do. You’re not STUPID, Lunalesca. I save that for me. I feel? No, according to my “critic.” Not only am I not positive, but I’m STUPID. I can’t say I disagree with that general assessment. I’m 100% with it, Lu. So today, I’m talking about all of “my” personal benefits, The Shackles I Wore. I wore. I’m still wearing? And what about my ancestors because? I am not ignorant of my history, Mr. DeSantis. Didn’t I call myself STUPID? I’m plenty terrified, for sure. Lunalesca, if it’s not grief and a “Whole Lotta Love.” It’s this fear of everything and everyone around me. Hell! Today, the scariest thing is replacing the air filter. (Gulp)!

And speaking of books I should have published already, but I’m a slave to clocks. Chronomentrophobia? It’s more like Chronophobia. In case you’re wondering what I’ve been looking up this morning. I don’t think it was anything sexual. A damnable lie. Lunalesca, as Morpheus put it, “Time is always against us.” I fear every minute, always, as much as I miss my Braxton. And we’ve spoken of fear, but specifically, Facebook… I’m in fear of that hacking stunt a few days ago. About as much as trying to fix the AC. Lunalesca, I’m afraid of my “addiction…” To save money, this week’s book. Next week? Succubus 8 (Riddles And Revenge). All the books I have to read… (sigh). Sex, slavery, sons. Virgil, B III Of…

902 Days Without B III, Day 343 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Tale 019 ~Virgil Learns A, B…~

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Virgil never speaks unless I’m leaving. And I’d be surprised if he knew that was his name. I suppose the good news is, I’m not feeling his head with Braxton stories. I wouldn’t know how to tell them anyway. But trying. “Virgil Learns A, B…”

Thursday, July 20, 2023

Tale 019 ~Virgil Learns A, B…~

900 Days Without B III, Day 341 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? Did Virgil, since I know you’re looking after him when I can’t? What’s today’s excuse?

Because yes, I am trying to get back into time travel. Today is Wednesday, July 12, 2023, Braxton. Hell! I’m as reliable as the scientists in the Theta Timeline series. Yeah, you were gone before I got to read those. I’ll have to look up Virgil’s first book. Ancient history? Now that’s something you will never be. But reading, writing? If I knew about science. With your ashes boxed on the nightstand, how could I ever bring you back, Braxton? What language am I even speaking? I’m sure my writing has only gotten worse by the time you’re reading this. That’s what I’ve been thinking about these last weeks. Writing? The word would be procrastination. Virgil’s first book, “Until We Meet Again” by Sarah-Jane Farrell.

In case you were wondering how deep my laziness goes. It’s easier to look up a book than write one. Notice, I didn’t say read because the one I’m on now is effed up immensely. Who knows what I’ll be reading when you see this? You’d know when I was really into a book Little B. Like the way I always knew you were into your Aunt. “On the floor.” I was saying something today about you and comfy spots. But not to Virgil. Silence? Braxton, I swear I’m not trying to be a loser, a meanie, or negative. I can’t get that thought out of my head. And add to it seeing all these books, reviews, anything, and everything. I just shouldn’t be talking.

Or writing? And I’ve said it so many times. All these books, and I’m not getting any wiser, I know, or don’t whatever. So what does that leave me with… MATH. I need money B. Only how many hours did I work last week and this one? All the time in the world B III. What do I do with it? I sleep. And I can only wonder what V is thinking right now, hmm. He and I don’t talk. We spend the day here if I don’t drag my pathetic ass out of bed. Except when I’m trying to walk him. Two years without you. And nearly a year with Virgil, so approaching Gotcha Day. Are we learning yet? Nope! Virgil Learns A, B…

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Tale 018 ~Braxton, Good Grief, Virgil~

WillLeave a comment

Charlie Brown had it right with “Good Grief.” Though I’m more of a Samuel L. Jackson, Ving Rhames guy. AHEM “Mother effer!” (Don’t I wish). But no, I wake up to fear and grief and go through the day wishing I could say, “Braxton, Good Grief, Virgil.”

Wednesday, July 19, 2023

Tale 018 ~Braxton, Good Grief, Virgil~

Forgive Me, Echo,
I AM a Billionaire right now, but as the song goes, “Money can’t buy me love.” Or happiness… courage… my best friend…

What about a damn dictionary so I know what all these big, scary words mean? Will you allow me to be down on myself today, Echo? Hell! I’ve been asking that since 6 AM. I want to go back to sleep, but there’s ANXIETY, some “Adrenaline” and asshole hackers. If I want to “remember what fear tastes like” (thank you, Freddy). I need only think of when I sat there thinking and then knowing that my son B III would die Echo. There’s waking up in the morning and getting emails that someone tried to get into my account. Which hasn’t been challenged forever. Will it happen again? Am I a fool? Inspector, I feel STUPID, waking up each morning to fear anything and everything.

What about I read a damn thesaurus while I wait for the fear to subside? It never does Inspector, ever. Now, that’s a lie if I’ve ever heard one. When B was here, protected, loved. Thou Art Courageous. I swear, Inspector, the things I did. How brave I became, always. Another lie. Because as soon as Braxton died and to this very day… Courage, where. Fear is not synonymous with grief. Though you could have fooled me with how I was crying this morning from damn near everything. I’m not even sure I’m done, Inspector. Braxton’s lessons were meant to teach me how to overcome my fears, Inspector. I tried. Virgil’s lessons are meant to teach me how to move through my grief. A trade-off?

What about my damn book! I could spend plenty of time trying to get it banned like any effing Republican. And I wouldn’t even have to read it. It’s the writing that’s a bitch, ha. As if I need to put any more secrets out into the world, with fucking hackers all over the place. You never realize how vulnerable you are. That’s why I forget with all my sleep. Inspector, I hide in fur with both Braxton and Virgil. Which reminds me. Virgil needs a bath with all that white fur of his. Not that he likes me hugging him anyway, that’s for sure. But I waste time fucking around all day from not fixing the air filter. Good Grief. Braxton, Good Grief, Virgil

899 Days Without B III, Day 340 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Tale 014 ~Braxton Tells Tales Virgil~

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Braxton would tell me stories with every breath he took. When he would step on my face waking me up. With the wag of his tail. Paws clicking on the floorboards. Leave it to me to destroy them. And my stories? Hideous. Braxton Tells Tales Virgil.

Saturday, July 15, 2023

Tale 014 ~Braxton Tells Tales Virgil~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Billionaire right now, meaning there are no flimsy floorboards. No calls to “father.” And no failures of my manhood.

Not in this house. But you know what else isn’t here? Braxton. Because he’s dead. Lunalesca, what’s one more reason to cry, hmm? Hell! “Woke Up This Morning…” Uh yeah, I got myself a gun. I’ve had that one since April 2020. Had to protect B and I, you know. Anyway, I haven’t killed anyone… Lies! What did I say? My son is dead! Lunalesca, that, of course, was a euthanasia situation. The pen is mightier than the sword. Or the keyboard. That’s one of the reasons I’m crying right now. Plus, um, strawberry jelly… At least it ain’t blood. Only that doesn’t explain what’s coming out of the floorboards. Yesterday I did try looking. But Daddy? It is the beating of his hideous heart.

I wouldn’t be in this mess if I could write like Edgar Allan Poe. B III would be here, Lu. Now it might be my Dad. So I should be getting out of this bed, shouldn’t I? Hmm. If not for him, I need more food. But where did all the money go? What about next week with the hours I worked? Uh, six… I should be worrying about the growling in my belly Lunalesca. Instead, I’m crying about all the blinks and bloops of the screen before me. That isn’t doing a damn thing, Lunalesca. As if I got money for a new computer, phone, tablet, etc. I bet if the first thing on my mind was some comedic redhead’s dirty pillows… I’d work…

Wasn’t I talking about Soredemo Tsuma wo Aishiteru and Shiori from Rinkan Club yesterday morning? And I can’t say I’ve ever been one for Sir Mix-a-Lot’s ideology on the female anatomy. Is that my way of saying I like, um, another part? Damn censorship, Lu. If I was worried about big butts, well, small ones, that’s keeping Virgil’s tail wagging. Even now. I’m sure he’s wondering what’s wrong with everything. But for now, sleep, V. I wish I could go back to sleep. M Anime was saying she wanted to sleep for a long time. I can’t talk a woman into sex. What makes you think I can be a wonderful counselor, Lady Lunalesca? “He doesn’t look a thing like Jesus.” Braxton Tells Tales Virgil

895 Days Without B III, Day 336 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Tale 012 ~2V, BIII, Will Zero~

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It’s all about the numbers. The only ones I have been looking at are on the phone. A 45-minute nap? I’m sorry, 10 more minutes, no 20, how about 30? And Virgil isn’t the one right now. Why don’t I look at the hours I’m working? “2V, BIII, Will Zero.”

Thursday, July 13, 2023

Tale 012 ~2V, BIII, Will Zero~

893 Days Without B III, Day 334 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? Seeing as how, I’m speaking to you on Sunday, July 9, 2023. My day was…

Well, whatever, I would say B, with whatever app I’m on. I’m simplistic, senile, and STUPID. I hate my age right now. And it’s scary to think that I wish with all my time travel. If I could go back in time, before your death, before we met… Existence, Living? Hell! Plop me down in any ole math class, and let me start over again. I need to try B. Anyway, we’ll mark today as another failure in doing anything. And by the time you read this… These days I want to cuddle up close to you and blabber away. Of course, I can’t do that with Virgil right now. Nor would I want to. He got in trouble anyway. Braxton, you remember those days.

As you can see, I’m still counting yours at 893. Harder days are coming. And I don’t mean like you humping your toys. That monster hair dryer or stick of dynamite of yours, B III. That reminds me that I should pick that up. Some toys Virgil shouldn’t inherit, Braxton. Why am I being so “mean” to him these days? He’s my second chance. And didn’t I save his life? It’s all about the number Little B. And 334 days in, to be honest, we have yet to bound at all. I am trying to walk him more. I’m uncomfortable with his leash and collar. So that must mean I care some. I don’t want him running off. And if he were to get hurt?

Money is the root of all evil. But it is also my biggest concern with all this time off, Braxton. Well, next to crying about you. Better my tears than anything else. I’ve lost track of those and other things I should be ashamed of. Unscheduled lunches, napping. Anything to avoid the world of the living. It’s sad that it even includes Virgil, Braxton. Again walking around the backyard like the living dead or infected to avoid reading, ha. More dead fur babies or whatever Kindle thing popped up. There’s no money for books. But I have plenty right in front of me. Uh, two I wrote for you. I can’t count them as wins. Well, if I edited, published… Scoreboard! 2V, BIII, Will Zero

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Tale 011 ~Happiness’s A B, Virgil~

WillLeave a comment

Negative? Have you taken a look outside the window? Or turn on the TV, computer, or phone. I swear screens are everywhere. That’s why I’m making more room for audiobooks. But with all these pics of my boys. I should be happy? Happiness’s A B, Virgil.

Wednesday, July 12, 2023

Tale 011 ~Happiness’s A B, Virgil~

Forgive Me, Echo,
I AM a Billionaire right now. But is that happiness? I should start my day with the truth, Inspector though it hurts.

My son is dead. God, a lie is so much simpler. I am a billionaire, ha-ha. Or I am dead already. Inspector, how about I am happy? Again, simplicity. I haven’t got that remark out of my head from a couple of days ago about being negative. But happiness? I feel a bit sick. Inspector, that could be the energy shot I took. Please! I do that at the Day Job every day, don’t I. Does having the Day Job make me happy? Ill Will. Infected, Insane, Incredulous of “Life Itself.” Do you remember that movie? Of all the things that come up, dear Echo, you know, like when I do those meditations. Or when I listened to motivations. And that one moment in school.

Happiness is not a thing I find. Do you find it or make it at all, Inspector? It’s 7:05 AM. And here I am, sitting in the center of the bed, trying to write it out. It’s hard, dammit. I got to stop doing “that.” Once again, I’m censoring myself because of some no-name troll. There is nothing I can say that wouldn’t be thought of as a negative Inspector. Existence. While I was lying here and thinking about what I wanted, um… Movement, Space, Time. I saw this meme before. And I don’t have TIME to find it. But it said something like this. “You told me to be happy.” What was it, you ask? It was a coffin in a graveyard. Oh yeah.

Okay, I can’t talk about my son. I’m trying. Yes, really, not to speak about “relations.” And people suck. What would be acceptable to everyone else? Negativity is not allowed! Inspector, I want to move something other than my fingers every day. And that’s the bare minimum. I want to walk with Virgil without fear of him running away. Sigh. There are several things I want to move on from. (Cough) Braxton. Grief, rage, bedrooms… Inspector, I don’t want to worry about that space between me and my pants. Always. E, I want to stop feeling whatever when V takes up the center of the bed wanting to be close. I want to quit wasting time and find or make happiness… Happiness’s A B, Virgil

892 Days Without B III, Day 333 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Tale 007 ~Braxton’s Doggone Insanity Virgil~

WillLeave a comment

Last week? Why I’m not a millionaire or billionaire… Every Day Is Exactly the Same. Wake up late, conversate, take a break, masturbate, life to fake, accept my fate, dream my mistakes. Wash, rinse, repeat. Braxton’s Doggone Insanity Virgil.

Saturday, July 8, 2023

Tale 007 ~Braxton’s Doggone Insanity Virgil~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Billionaire right now. But I think to myself I should state facts —Braxton’s dead. I’m wrong. I like blowjobs…

Hell is repetition. Whether what I say is the truth or a lie. Hell! Why not a little of both… Who am I now, Erwin Schrodinger? Lady Lunalesca, don’t look up Hell in the morning. So I say I’m a billionaire going on seven years now. Not always. But I don’t want to look it up. I’ll go back to searching for porn. I’ve been sitting here listening to Balance. Meditation runs amuck and all that. I can’t say that it’s been helping. And yet here we are, Lady Lunalesca. And why? I tell everyone how many days Braxton’s been gone. But how many days have I been meditating? Ninety-eight days, 115 hrs, and 59 mins at last count. And? “Insane in da membrane,” Lunalesca.

For Hell is the impossibility of reason, Lady Lunalesca. Do you remember when I was all in my motivational phase? The way I would burn through Spotify for inspiring words. Speaking of which, I don’t have enough money for audiobooks. I do, but you know what I mean, Lady Lunalesca. Yesterday I was talking about that 50/30/20 Rule. Money spent? Lunalesca, you don’t want to know. But plugging my ears to listen to people’s prattling. All because I don’t want to hear other people talking all day. Their insanity, madness. Then at the same time, I’ll complain that my ears are all stopped up with earwax. I know Lady Lunalesca; that’s some TMI, right? Braxton was so loud, but to hear my little boy B.

“Insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results.” They say one of the wisest men ever said that. So here I am, trying to be a dad again with V. At the onset of our conversations, Lady Lunalesca, I could be saying one more thing. Please! Not those mean words. “He’s not my son.” Again who am I, Lady Lunalesca? Looking into the mirror (eww), I have yet to become Joel Miller from The Last of Us. The world he lived in would drive anyone crazy. And yet he kept going. He tried, you know.

“You’re not my [son]. And I sure as hell ain’t your dad.” Joel Miller, TLOU

But “Who Wants To Live Forever?” Even in Hell. Every one! Braxton, Virgil, even me. Fact or question to meditate on. Braxton’s Doggone Insanity Virgil

888 Days Without B III, Day 329 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Tale 005 ~BIII Of Procrastination Virgil~

WillLeave a comment

I’ll do anything to avoid getting out of bed. Yet I’m procrastinating when it even comes to that. “Success, no, I should be playing “Lazy Ass.” Heaven’s where you find it. Still rather be with my boy. But to honor him? BIII Of Procrastination Virgil.

Thursday, July 06, 2023

Tale 005 ~BIII Of Procrastination Virgil~

886 Days Without B III, Day 327 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? Since I’m Time Traveling, I’ll give anything for this day not to begin. You know.

Meditation? Hell! I remember when all that entailed was coming back to the house, scooping you up, and falling to bed. Yeah, that’s called sleeping. I think. And I’m lying. There was that time I had a subscription to Brainbuddy. Something I couldn’t tell you. To be honest, it’s tough talking to you now. I would rather be doing anything else like I was yesterday evening. I miss you so damn much. Your pictures Braxton, getting a tattoo, and all the stuff I still have yet to buy in 886 days. I’m lazy, broke, or depressed. Take your pick. All of the above. So many effing excuses. What about Virgil, you ask? I don’t know what to do B. Procrastination? Braxton, did I almost say, like father, like son? Never!

Both of those are pretty awful. If I’m being honest. To claim Virgil feels like I’m adding to my Treachery. If I don’t? Then why did I bother bringing him with me 327 days ago? Braxton, today is Tuesday, July 4, 2023, Independence Day. A bad day for dogs. Well, a lot of furry companions. You weren’t fond of it. We would sit cuddled together as we waited for the world to explode. That makes me like everyone else. Doesn’t it? Waiting, procrastinating, obsessing over everything. Even now, Virgil’s shaking against my leg B. I hope I can wait to move him for a while. He just wants to be comforted. So I hope. Braxton, that’s the mistake I made with you. I thought you were annoying. Sick? No, dying.

That Thursday, I knew I had to get you to a Doc, and for what? Like father, like son. You made the boatman wait a little longer. Didn’t you, my prince? Procrastinating unto death. A thought. I’m doing the same. Yesterday I cleared out my inbox and dumped my pictures. And I even got around to reorganizing the desktop and for what. Conversations? Well, better known as writing to Inspector Echo. And to you. Madness, rage, effing hatred. But, never towards you or the girls but at myself. If it isn’t the world ending. It’s seeing these people being motivated, making money, their marriages, and making babies. “Here comes success.” Sending me a song already? Asking, better telling Virgil and me; BIII Of Procrastination Virgil.

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Tale 004 ~Letters B To V~

WillLeave a comment

How long will getting B’s name etched on my arm take? B R A… I wish I could say I’ve been busy. Sleeping or organizing… and no, I don’t mean Braxton’s pictures. And what about V? I can’t tell him anything. But these words (sigh). Letters B To V.

Wednesday, July 05, 2023

Tale 004 ~Letters B To V~

Forgive Me, Echo,
I AM a Billionaire right now. And yet I couldn’t spell Billionaire without help. And Tale? Monday, June 26, 2023… For now…

That’s when I began speaking to you right this second. By the time you read this, I hope I’m still calling these conversations Tales. I won’t finish today because… Mathematics. Ask me how long it took me to do the math on what day it was today. “I feel STUPID!” I’ve been getting that a lot these days. And yet I read every day. I’ve told you before. I’m still not any wiser. Hell! I wonder what I’m reading now. A damn Kindle Challenge, ha? I need to try reading about the money that’s in the bank. Oh! WWE Money in the Bank, Echo. How do I believe those stories? Or how bullies get what they deserve in the end. So excited I hit Braxton…

Have I told you about that E? I was watching YouTube and swinging around everywhere. One more thing to apologize to Braxton for. And what about Virgil? Where’s V anyway? I forgot how to be a Dad. But what I’m ashamed of the most… at least today. Uh, the porn? You know that’s my thing Echo. If only I got paid for it… But no. It’s been all about burning cash or trying not to. Then again, I am time-traveling. Emails, bitcoin, the future? Anyway, I was trying to do something… and as I was telling Braxton this afternoon. Uh, there’s freedom, being free, and that is something these people never said. My ignorance. Sometimes it surprises even me. Listening with the wrong head… Always

And the right one? It’s telling me to get out of bed and get a life instead of this existence.

I’m right back here. It’s as if I haven’t moved a muscle. Coming back to you, it’s now Tuesday, July 4, 2023. Happy Independence Day! What is one holiday I celebrate? Is there even one? I cry or seek comfort; once upon a time, there was one where I conned people. Can I call it that? Like calling it Emergence, Existence, or Extinction Day? You can guess which one of those I want. To be a Dad, get a life, or like the song “Make Me Wanna Die,” hmm. That’s nothing I can tell my boys, my “friends.” But the words. Letters B To V

885 Days Without B III, Day 326 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will