Meanwhile, my bank account won’t be looking up forever. This is America… A $1,000.00? Ha! But I can get my ears lowered. I can get 2V’s nails cut. And I can dial down my crazy with music, movies, and manuscripts. But B’s… Up there. Virgil Looks Up B.
Thursday, February 22, 2024
Tale 236 ~Virgil Looks Up B~
1117 Days Without B III, Day 558 of Virgil’s Arrival
Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? How’s Heaven been treating you? The Rainbow Bridge? Things in my broken heart… Wherever B.
All I know is this. I’m here. And I hate looking in mirrors. I still miss looking into your eyes.
What about V’s eyes? “Not a trace of a doubt in my mind” B, that when people saw us together, they knew you were/are my son. And I continue to believe in “He Lives In You.” That’s one reason I should take better care of myself. At least, right? Good Luck, huh? And again, I look to Virgil. I haven’t claimed him as a son yet. Like a child looking to be formally adopted… But the first time I saw him, he reminded me of you. I should have taken the eye doctor up on new glasses. Yeah, I know, Braxton, I’m being a meanie.
More like a douche, which is what I called you remember? My little douche. And while I shouldn’t say that, it’s not like the critic cares. My words have been such a mess that I haven’t heard from them. Other than you need to get professional help or some therapy.
I don’t have the funds for that Braxton. But with my windfall… It’s that what I’m calling that $1,000.00? It’s less now, considering I should pay off the termite guy sometime this week. Bills? Goody.
I’m time traveling. Today is Monday, February 19, 2024. And I was talking to Madam Justice about the house falling apart. But how about me and Virgil? Again, no doctors. But I could get a haircut. Dog Bath, Nail Grind…
If you’re looking down on us from somewhere, we might as well be “Lookin’ Fly.”
I swear, Braxton, I will make a playlist of all the songs you send me on any given day. I should have something more than songs that make me cry thinking about you, B. Sigh.
I remember the days I would look up from my naps and see you sitting on the corner of the bed. You were on guard duty protecting this room that I never want to leave. Virgil looks to you as if wondering how he can make me happy. Again, Good Luck to him. You couldn’t do that either. You could only make me a Dad. Someone worth something. Can Virgil? Hope. Virgil Looks Up B
“It feels like I’m dying. I’m so scared all the time.” ― Mara, Spontaneous (2020)
Always and Forever,
Your Dad