Month: July 2019

Log 019 ~Additives Of The Will~

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Today, which is Sunday, I finished writing one more novel, I was in the zone with this 50,100, but the words weren’t the only thing I was addicted to; it could be worse, smoking or drinking perhaps? Additives Of The Will

Saturday, July 20, 2019

Log 019 ~Additives Of The Will~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Millionaire right now, and with money comes forgetfulness. I told A&W once that’s when you know you have cash when you’re not adding up every single penny. Hell Lady Lu I wasn’t counting up money but words, whorish characters, and so many weird obsessions.

It’s because of this I owe you an apology, but you know how I am. Sad that only a few moments ago, it’s Sunday now but yay Time Travel? Anyway, today I finished my book, and I was so eager I took Saturday for Sunday. Talk about being discombobulated, which I am right now. It’s always strange to finish one more book, and after the initial shock, I don’t know. 50, 100 words, and again once I got started, I was absorbed in work; this morning and then this evening. I don’t want to sound negative, Lady Lu, but I always am once the job is complete. Great joy and with great labor and of course I set up the “Mistress Director” in one of my other finished titles. Now, like Ving Rhames, the question becomes “What Now.” Yes, and before I forget, I am sorry for yesterday Lady Lu.

Anyway, yes, my story fucked me up (LANGUAGE). Strange that so many pretty girls didn’t make it through my novel. I don’t even remember if the Mistress Director died in another part, I will have to check. I read somewhere that when people see something cute, they become destructive. I could eat you up; I want to hug you hard, stuff like that. One more reason I’m a dominant and a sadist to boot. Not that such thoughts are wrong, understand, but I need to get back on Brainbuddy. Did I fall off the wagon; hell, I smashed it to bits this week. Street Blowjobs, Teen Starlet, Isaku, at this point I don’t need to write another novel. I haven’t been sleeping well, and when I do wake up, well sex wakes me up. You know 5-hour Energy screwed me over so many months ago.

Okay enough sex talk, I’m losing time over The Walking Dead trailer. If it’s not that after watching Marz play Detroit: Become Human, it’s been all gaming reactions. Guess I’m looking for someone else to be mad at, they play games; I write books. Anyway, I got through writing so next; Additives Of The Will.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 020 ~It’s Called Character Will~

WillLeave a comment

Sunday, July 21, 2019

Log 020 ~It’s Called Character Will~

To Will:
I AM a Millionaire right now, and you could finish by tomorrow. Exciting, weird, again, pick any word but impossible okay? Of course, we have to talk about those six impossible things. The question is, who do you want to be tomorrow? It’s like being in the car driving and getting that estimated arrival time, so speeding up.

What kind of daddy do you want to be in the morning? You get up, struggle to take B III for a walk, and then you ignore him the rest of the day. He sleeps, he guards, while you struggle to write while going through withdrawal. Yes, you give him his food, his meds. “On time” please, that’s 7:55 PM his second pill and not the midnight hour. Hell, last night was a bitch (LANGUAGE) he has to stop eating stuff off the ground. Little vacuum, hunter believing in Hakuna Matata. Only the characters he plays but what about you absentee father? What about when you have some two-legged rugrats, but you’ll get to that soon enough. Why not now though, like I said driving around and you want to beat the clock don’t you?

A lot more today considering how much more there is to write. No amount of time seems like enough to grow up. Yeah, I didn’t see your “father” coming through with your nephew. When’s the last time you called your sister? It gets annoying that everyone thinks your world should revolve around them. You remember some time ago we talked about saying more than Hey or Sup and what about Rule 002. You Are Not A Caveman. Still feels like something out of 10,000 BC. People want a spot in the circle you have yet to create. You have yet to decide the man you want to be Will. So you have masks, caves, you play the fool or worse they make you that way. Speaking of circles, you have plenty of zeros from working less on Six Impossible Things:

  1. I AM Keeping It In My Pants (Day 003 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 003 No Fap)
  2. I AM Always The “Father” B III Deserves
    Failed
  3. I AM Naming My Novel And Writing A Back Cover Of It
    Failed
  4. I AM Reviewing The Five
    Failed
  5. I AM Writing For NaNoWriMo, A New Novel
    Completed
  6. I AM Finishing Reading Beauty in the Broken: A Diamond Magnate Novel by
    Charmaine Pauls Failed
  1. I AM Keeping It In My Pants (Day 003 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
  2. I AM Always The “Father” B III Deserves
  3. I AM Naming My Novel And Writing A Back Cover Of It
  4. I AM Reviewing The Five
  5. I AM Writing For NaNoWriMo, A New Novel
  6. I AM Finishing Reading Beauty in the Broken: A Diamond Magnate Novel by
    Charmaine Pauls

It’s all about #5, and you could be done by tomorrow if you keep working. One more excuse down the drain and a bunch of characters that will never know real life. Monsters, Madmen, and Masturbation fodder from Angie Varona to Jordyn Jones. What about that Audrey, no not from Little Shop? There’s a real-world Will but know this okay friend, It’s Called Character Will.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 018 ~Where Will It End~

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One month and some change left before I’m writing the sorriest excuse to a beautiful woman, not to mention all those in my novel but I would have to get published first and the story I’m writing now? “Where Will It End.”

Friday, July 19, 2019

Log 018 ~Where Will It End~

Hey Lady Sophia,
I AM a Millionaire right now but still not published. I’m getting closer to finishing one more story that remains nameless today, but I need to feel; accomplished. There is not much of that for me these days. I quit writing to be called Ma’am at Taco Bell. One more reason to choose the Starving Artist path.

What am I a sim? Well, I want to be a customer, but time is not on my side when it comes to Alice Little. Didn’t I say I hate letting pretty girls down? When I started talking to her, I figured, get published become a success. Lady Sophia I’ve wasted a month and a half, hell a year. Alice is texting now, and she won’t buy some story of sorry I trashed your time. I always feel like I need an excuse for being in the way. Women though, I tell myself there is some woman out there waiting. A wonder I go young, not go to jail young but again TTB. If anything, I need to be writing a scene for Nevada. Only this isn’t my novel, and we’ll get to that. I’m sure I still have my Purge “Party” Fantasy somewhere but haven’t been looking for it.

How about my life story or my son’s who’s lying right here next to me sleeping. I read something horrible that I won’t dare repeat, but I want B III to have everything. A yard I’m not scared for him to play in for hours. I’m always worried about his health. He needs a mom and siblings and being fourteen, bless his patient heart. What about me though, the answer still is, I didn’t think I would make it this far. I’ve seen a new version of The Lion King. There are now ten seasons of The Walking Dead. Hell, I am blessed with so much and dare to dream of more. I should be working harder; I did around 2100 words today before I went for food. I’ll make the deadline for Camp NaNoWriMo for sure but let’s talk about sex baby the song says.

Is that what I’m calling my novel. As for now, the group is wading through blood and “other” body fluids. The Beast is losing his tattoos with help from his wife and yes I’m planning an orgy so ask again Where Will It End.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 017 ~Winning Willie By Daylight~

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It’s sad that I still remember the Sailor Moon theme song, I watched a teen react into an adult, a quite beautiful adult, that Snow White can’t be hot, well she can but not for my poetry I guess. “Winning Willie By Daylight.”

Thursday, July 18, 2019

Log 017 ~Winning Willie By Daylight~

WARNING, 18+, READER DISCRETION ADVISED

Come In Dirty Diana,
I AM a Millionaire right now, but it isn’t from the fairytales. One of these days I’ll have to show you my “Winx Club” poetry from an LSD binge. I wish I were all sorts of high today, of course, I’m still reeling over yesterday. Nobody took down my comment though, and I’ve already moved on to making other women smile or offending them. One liked when I quoted Mariah Carey, another offered nudes for $200. She was one of those Teen/Adult React girls, legal now, but I’m still chasing boobs.

No wonder I’ve been fucking up with the porn lately. I’m going to have to report myself to Brainbuddy again thank you Mia Khalifah. “Graduating Summa Cum Loud” to be specific. Plaid skirts and glasses have always been my weakness. Always looking towards innocence as I carry so much guilt. I need something colorful, “Daddy’s Little Doll” series or “The Innocence Of Youth.” I know the difference of fantasy from reality Dirty Diana. I never figured I’d see one of those gamer girls naked. Still won’t, she had to get offers way “bigger” than mine, and no I’m not that crass. I go so nuts when I see Angie Varona all grown up of course.

How about growing up though and not offending any real women, Sailor Moon. Now I already said I wrote about the Winx Club, I knew W.I.T.C.H, but Sailor Moon sigh. My favorite was always Sailor Mercury, smart and sexy; I think I see a theme developing. I’ve never been one for bimbos, and you know my views on STUPIDITY. If it’s not innocence, it’s a woman that’s above it all. Again the woman dressed up as Snow White, I was worried over nothing? I’m still not sure, but I’ve never seen an ugly Disney Princess.

Let me go lower though; I’ve gotten back into Hentai. Kojin Taxi and Isaku mostly. From Kotomi Asakawa, Kyouko Sakai, Nanami Takeuchi, you know the Devil’s in the details. I wish I had all the time to research and enjoy, but The Lion King awaits. That’s something I never got into, Furries; okay, Lola Bunny. The world has become so much uglier these days. If it’s not the day job, well can I blame this on Trump? How about my novel, my eyes need something beautiful and pure? What things are Winning Willie By Daylight?

I Will Have No Fear

Log 016 ~Will Find FINE Princesses~

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It’s amazing what you can do when you don’t want to sleep; last night it was staring into the void until 1:00 AM, tonight it was 5,000 words, so I’m less than 10,000 away from the finish line but on being a good man. Will Find FINE Princesses

Wednesday, July 17, 2019

Log 016 ~Will Find FINE Princesses~

Forgive Me Echo,
I AM A Millionaire right now, and inappropriate dammit. In full transparency, I don’t even know if they meant me, but I will take “The L” at his word. I wasn’t even thinking with “the D” last night, but more like Disney and Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs. So what was my grand sin before bed? Once upon a time, I saw a beautiful woman from “It’s A Southern Thing” dressed as Snow White. I penned a small poem or whatever using the seven dwarfs names:

“I’m HAPPY seeing you, GRUMPY you’re taken, SLEEPY dreaming of you, DOPEY I know, a bit BASHFUL letting it all out, but SNEEZY never I like the outdoors, but I do need a DOC for my lovestruck heart ❤️”

Now “The L” liked this comment. So minutes later, I read, “Some people should keep their inappropriate thoughts to themselves 😮.” Now am I mistaken; perhaps, I know I didn’t get to sleep until 1:00 AM. Scared I’d get blocked, terrified I’m wrong for some reason. I didn’t eat dinner; I stopped playing TWD. Inspector Echo I will punish myself when I feel I’ve done wrong and again I doubt myself. Do you remember I spent one night deleting everything from one page because of one person? I don’t check Whisper replies anymore. I spend maybe an hour deleting fake friend requests and blocking chats. If you joke you learn to deal with the heckle right? I wasn’t trying to get the girl I thought I was saying something cute. Unlike Trump, I own up to my sins for your consideration.

  1. I Paid A Girl Hundreds To Get Naked. She didn’t like the things she had to say.
  2. I Compared A Girl And Her Friend To Brazzers and Reality Kings Porn Stars
  3. I Sent A Mom A Butterfree Pokémon And Quoted Butterfly By Crazy Town
  4. I Hit My Sister’s Ankle When I Was Only A Child
  5. I Gave A Mom $5.00 At Walmart When She Asked. Thought about “Street Blowjobs”
  6. I Admire Jimmy Stephens For True Teen Babes. I watch Teen Starlet and Honey Cream

I could continue Inspector Echo. I get blocked, ridiculed, sick, all kinds of horny. Do you know I had my ass beat by a man that beats his wife? Why don’t I give up writing anything; Will Find FINE Princesses.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 015 ~Will Needs A Mirror~

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I don’t think a girl has ever asked me, “does this dress make me look fat” and I learned from Cory Matthews never to tell the “absolute” truth about everything, I guess it pays not to be a prize myself. “Will Needs A Mirror.”

Tuesday, July 16, 2019

Log 015 ~Will Needs A Mirror~

Dear Future Wife,
I AM a Millionaire right now, so why not several mirrors? The first time I even bought a mirror for myself was when I got my first place. I did a few weeks of basic training in the Navy after that my first retail job. People don’t like it when it looks like you don’t iron or covered in dog hair. If anything I felt that when I found you, the apocalypse would have begun. You know me baby-doll, considering my profession I’m all kinds of shallow.

It keeps going back to I don’t want anyone ever to feel like I did or still do? I was thinking about why I wanted to be a father, and while I do “copy” him, I want more money. The thing is I don’t want our children to ever hate themselves because of something I said. To feel so low that they never feel the need to look in a mirror. Heads hung low, minds so dark that they can’t see who they are ever. Looking in their wallets or hiding in words to say, “at least I’m not that evil.” I want pictures on the fridge, notes in lunch boxes and picnic baskets. I want their rooms decorated in all the things they love in life. So I’m back to the point of if I were a rich man. Well, I am, but what do I know about art, dancing, and can you plant black roses, The Hunger Games?

As the song “I just wanna look good for you,” and I should apologize if I’ve made you feel pressured like that My Love. I do love how you sing, though. Again back to my point because if it were up to me, I’d still be looking at blank walls. If it weren’t for you, my life goal would remain to stay here at home. You don’t keep beauty to yourself though; it should be to share with the world. One more reason I became a writer, and everything else fell into place. I don’t need mirrors if my children see me as well, is Superman too much to ask or Black Panther? If you see me and want me, everyone can go to Hell baby-girl. I’m praying I guess to see myself how you and the children see me when I feel so bad.

Who sells the best, my profession, Will Needs A Mirror.

“I’m not sure. But I always read that you had to be OK with yourself first before you could be OK with another person. Now I feel OK with you. But I don’t know how OK I was with myself before I met you, so maybe you’re making me OK.”

“You’re not that OK.”

“OK.”

  • Defending Your Life (1991)

I Will Have No Fear

Log 014 ~Live Or Die, Your Choice~

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Get busy living or well you know the alternative right and by now I should have a Master’s in ditch digging, though I truly wish I could be as smart as Jigsaw or even The Origami Killer, it’s more acceptable than my writing. Live Or Die, Your Choice.

Monday, July 15, 2019

Log 014 ~Live Or Die, Your Choice~

Ninety-Third Rule Madam Justice

I AM a Millionaire right now writing something else for my network. As always I dream of Pure Taboo, Fetish Network. The Passion Network, SBJ, TTB, Teen Starlet, and Honey-Cream.com. Don’t mind me and my list though, if I were Arya Stark, it would be more acceptable. Madam Justice that is my point today, the things that make us feel alive. People often look at the moments before death or fighting to stay alive. I’ll admit those work for me as well. Even more so if we’re talking about B III’s life, protecting him always.

It’s too damn easy to talk about the things that Make Me Wanna Die as the song goes. The day job, for example, you think that would be incentive enough to work harder. There are reasons I don’t visit my Olds. Know I rather die than feel STUPID. Even in my novel today. The Beast feared more for others than he does himself, and he knows he deserves death. What about the world as a whole? People live in fear, terror, and hate. We are told to be slaves and to accept it as the will of God. Some choose to die in all manners rather than take the life they were given or even picked. That’s my weakness, The Weapon Of Choice. No, it is in its failure or the fear of such. I still feel the guilt of my crimes, the things even today I continue to commit.

Now when it comes to my writing though Madam Justice, sometimes it’s not even a choice these days. Writings ownership, obligation, and okay. Almost every day, I mention Dennis Hof. He faced accusations of exploiting young women at his Ranches. You know Jimmy Stephens who does what thousands of photographers do. Only his models wear fewer clothes. There are others of course in various methods. I watch Trump, his attempts to destroy for women, and from his people, there is nothing but applause. People are fighting for the right to live to exist and what about me Madam Justice. I struggle to write the words Humping Happens Hannah. There is also Exercising Eager Elizabeth, and Satisfying Sinners Sophia, “wholly” original. I write books that will never see the light of day; I don’t ever live.

I talked about running before, how I hide under layers, I only leave if necessary. I go to the movies, more darkness. Who chooses, can’t I be human and beast; Live Or Die, Your Choice.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 013 ~Will To The Choir~

WillLeave a comment

Sorry, this should be Lady Sophia’s wheelhouse, but work calls or maybe it’s y stomach, starving artist, plenty of money but I don’t want to leave until I work out this story and most Drive-Thur places think I’m a girl. “Will To The Choir.”

Sunday, July 14, 2019

Log 013 ~Will To The Choir~

To Will:
I AM a Millionaire right now, so you’d think I could afford some singing lessons. I would think you could find some more Motivational material. Hell, you could have some friends and quit talking to yourself. For a second there last night, I figured I’d be talking to My Sweet Lord. Well, that tends to happen when you’re speaking for how many people again? Over 5000 words not to mention B III needs attention, which explains him sitting on your lap right now.

So I wish this could be all about you Playboy, dammit Tony Baker. One more distraction, you’ve watched enough to get a Top Fan Badge or not. How many times have you viewed Marz today and I know I’m not helping with this week? What about how you’re expected to listen to everybody else but if you get called Ma’am one more time. A thing about No Fap is you’re supposed to get a deeper voice and how’s that going by the way? Two more Pinterest sections and more to go. The people you hate won’t stop talking. Those few that you like won’t stop talking. B III, of course, is staying him and when’s the last time you had a shower? Hell maybe if you were doing Brainbuddy you would have ten minutes of quiet you think. More time to think Six Impossible Things:

  1. I AM Keeping It In My Pants (Day 003 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 003 No Fap)
  2. I AM Always The “Father” B III Deserves
    Failed
  3. I AM Naming My Novel And Writing A Back Cover Of It
    Failed
  4. I AM Reviewing The Five
    Failed
  5. I AM Writing For NaNoWriMo, A New Novel
    Completed
  6. I AM Finishing Reading Beauty in the Broken: A Diamond Magnate Novel by Charmaine Pauls (Failed)
  1. I AM Keeping It In My Pants (Day 003 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
  2. I AM Always The “Father” B III Deserves
  3. I AM Naming My Novel And Writing A Back Cover Of It
  4. I AM Reviewing The Five
  5. I AM Writing For NaNoWriMo, A New Novel
  6. I AM Finishing Reading Beauty in the Broken: A Diamond Magnate Novel by
    Charmaine Pauls
    Now you can celebrate the one all you want, but again this isn’t all about you. Don’t you need to catch up with your story:

The Faces Of Momus
Chapter One: We Pretend That We’re Lead – The Beast
Chapter Two: Ass The Face Of Pen – The Artist
Chapter Three: A Type Of Unsolicited Dick – The Director
Chapter Four: The Shades That Paint Her – The Machine
Chapter Five: Shaved Crayon In The Box – The Slave

Chapter Six: The Skin He Lives In – The Machine
Chapter Seven: Thoughts From Some Paper TAIL – The Artist
Chapter Eight: The Poster Girl For Submission – The Slave
Chapter Nine: Musings From A Post DICK – The Beast
Chapter Ten: Folding Letters Files And Underwear – The Director

Chapter Eleven: A Song For Rocking Bodies – The Artist
Chapter Twelve: The Horrors Of Heavy Petting – The Machine
Chapter Thirteen: Having Faith In The Flesh – The Slave
Chapter Fourteen: You’ll Be A Woman Soon – The Director

Doesn’t look so bad from this angle but it’s you right: Will To The Choir

I Will Have No Fear

Log 012 ~Can Only Learn Will~

WillLeave a comment

Last week around this time I spoke about motivation, but today it’s been all about wasting time despite all the writing that I got done, and I can’t say I’m too proud of it, but I can always edit; am I serious? Can Only Learn Will

Saturday, July 13, 2019

Log 012 ~Can Only Learn Will~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Millionaire right now, and I don’t believe in Newspeak. A few days ago A&W said that even during a zombie apocalypse I wouldn’t get along with people. I hate it that he might be white; oh, excuse me, right. Anyway, I would like to think I would be reasonable considering zombies, but why do I want the dead to rise again? For one it might help with the novel I’m writing these days. Yesterday I asked the question about today and well 5000 words.

Can you picture this though, a BEAST taking care of an Android that becomes a serial killer? How about discovering a cure for the plague through sex with two girls at the same time? We also have another missing penis. Two sisters surrounded, and the Basic Bitch forming a religious cult. Sometimes Lady Lu people shouldn’t be allowed to write, speak, oh, and did I mention sing. More reasons for the undead, with all the moaning and everything. I have all but forgotten how much sex is in this pornographic travesty. Ways to keep me out of trouble without boobs come few and far between sorry to say. So have I learned anything today besides the fact that when I say I’m going to do something, I get it done.

If anything, it has been a repeat of everything, Youtube and Marz videos. B III is sleeping his life away, which would be better than what dad is doing. Enough of the pity, some bright side news besides writing? Bugs hate B III’s meds so no trip to the vet but he could still use a bath. BBQ is still good though the best is farther away according to some. One more day of keeping my pants on but how long will that last? Damn, I would say I have to relearn everything from those motivational books if I had time. I haven’t even been listening to my money playlist anymore. Even at the day job, it’s time for some hardcore rap. It gets me in the mood to deal with A&W and Captain Maple Leaf. I like white women, but the men make me mad as Hell these days.

As the song goes, This Is America but at the Day Job and with the real work, what’s that evil word? STUPID, if only people somehow Can Only Learn Will.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 011 ~How I Will Tomorrow~

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“Some of you love sleep more than you love success,” Eric Thomas said, and that’s one more reason I should be; no I won’t get upset, positive vibes and tomorrow will be better I keep saying. How I Will Tomorrow

Friday, July 12, 2019

Log 011 ~How I Will Tomorrow~

Hey Lady Sophia,
I AM a Millionaire right now, and tomorrow I’ll have more. If that’s one thing that remains constant, it’s my need for more, for everything. Let’s have more words, time, money, fucking self-control (Language). At least today’s story isn’t about giving another chick money. Don’t get me wrong; I don’t quarrel with strippers, pornstars, models, you know I have hired and discovered quite a few. If anything, I would rather spend money and not another piece of my soul. Yeah, what’s another dollar for something I don’t use, ahem Brainbuddy, or Momokun.

Now that’s a “gripping” story, not paying to avoid porn or a grander stash. You see Lady Sophia some things that should be bigger, my cushion for my novel. Last week I was touting a five-thousand-word victory, and I barely got two thousand today. If only excuses sold so easy, B III was sick; I’m addicted to Marz, I napped too long. Hell the writing I did today I’m not too happy with, remember I was looking forward to The Corpse of Anna Fritz. The chapter ended a bit early, 2500 words as always, and I’m nearly halfway done, you know. I can still do worse, I had one character sucking a man’s penis, minus the man keeping it; too graphic? Today isn’t Thursday, and I was in no mood but this afternoon, dammit Momokun.

I could tell you all about my dream girl, umm Alycia Debnam-Carey. Anyway, I add all women all shapes and sizes, races too, though I do owe an apology to a Bailey now. Tomorrow who will be next, Chapter 12: The Horrors of Heavy Petting. What will Audrey do now that she knows she’s an Android? Do they have a plan to deal with those infected girls in the bedroom? Will Audrey continue to love The Beast. Hell will this book ever see the light of day. “Gulp” does have a chance of seeing a million Kindles if I pull the trigger and get it published. It won’t cost me everything and would be my way of testing the waters. One more bit of writing to ruin without playing. What did I say about Marz watching her entire “Heavy Rain” playthrough? Might as well spoil “Until Dawn” heard it’s fantastic.

Not like I’ve had time to play games with not writing, taking naps, and broken promises, How Will I Tomorrow?

I Will Have No Fear