Gospel 104 ~Will At First Sight~

Last week I said something like, love will find me because I ain’t looking for it. If anything, I’m looking at the clock after I took too long of a nap. As I ask the question, what is there to see. “Will At First Sight.”

Tuesday, October 13, 2020

Gospel 104 ~Will At First Sight~

Dear Future Wife,
I AM a Billionaire right now, but all I see is you. Crowns cost money. A halo shouldn’t cost anything. Of course, all my hoodies have sentimental value. Is this my way of saying I like my baby’s shine? “Well, sometimes I just can’t believe you’re mine.” To me, you are divine. Yeah, I haven’t been in a poetic mood for quite some time because I would instead study you. You know as I keep my ears open to every song (minus gospel), and all my pop culture references. Baby girl, “can’t take my eyes off you.”

Let’s say I did, and not for sleep. It’s my act of faith, hope, and love. So I ask you, do you trust me. Is that why I ask baby doll, “let me share this whole new world with you.” As long as I close my eyes and know that you’re beside me always, but you are my dream, love. Only I’m awake now, and when we first got together, well. Besides wanting the voice to sing this, “If I had one wish?” Ok, I’m going to be selfish, but I’ve always wanted a surprise party. You know how I am about E-Day, but that’s because nobody cares but you. Strangely enough, this is coming from a man that hates not being in control. Only to hear you ask me to close my eyes and when I open them to know. “Maybe, I’m amazed,” but with you, I always am.

The fact remains that even now, I still close my eyes when I pass by mirrors. Well, unless I get hurt or something. Today I checked out my ear because it got clocked by some camera rigging (my wishful thinking). Yet when I see you checking me out, well damn. When the day comes… no, I won’t even give voice to that understanding. My eyes will be full of tears. Yes, I know, I’m a broken record when I talk my eyes, his, but My Love, Your Eyes? Knowing that I’m no less of a man, that I can be, well, anything when we’re together. Now THEY say love is blind, and I’m not sure if I agree or not. It’s only the way I see you in my words, how every night you’re a starry-eyed surprise, how we are counting stars and dog hair.

Loving Will At First Sight.

I Will Have No Fear

Gospel 103 ~Grief Tastes Like The Ocean~

I’ve been trying to drink two bottles of water a day, which still ain’t much but it beats turning all Kel Mitchell with orange soda. I actually like root beer and root beer floats, yum. “Grief Tastes Like The Ocean,” but I’m not sad, yet…

Monday, October 12, 2020

Gospel 103 ~Grief Tastes Like The Ocean~

Hundred And Fifty-Seventh Rule

Madam Justice,
I AM a Billionaire right now, so how can I be sad? Um, I’m also a black man living in the USA. It’s not like I blame mom’s cooking or anything. Yep, she was the first one to tell me not to use so much salt. Was I the only one dipping his digits in the seasoning hm? To tell you the truth Madam Justice, I’m not sad today but angry. Yet again, I wasted the day away, when we could have already had this talk. You know why I’m always so exhausted? It’s so I have the chance to cry when I yawn. Barring blood, other secretions.

Blood is salty, but I’m in no rush to spill it. I’m a writer, not a vampire, but either way, I’m a monster. Not to mock such greatness as Johnston Green… Come on, man! He was the mayor of Jericho. How about The Instructor in The Animatrix? The Operative? Entertainment, my dear Madam Justice? Again we have Jericho, a nod to The Second Renaissance and Serenity (2005). Here is my reasoning, they all spilled blood and showed remorse in having to do so. There was no time for tears but the taste of blood, always.

Interestingly enough, that’s how I see myself as an author. Haven’t I been complaining that I have no time? Come November, and with that NaNoWriMo, all my time will be spent on words. In those, I will grieve Madam Justice.

Why do you think all of my stories end up on a “specific” subject? You know what else take like salt… sweat. Of course, you know the word I want to say, but I’m “trying” to be good. Hell, how do you think I got out of bed, only I haven’t broken, thank goodness. Anyway, I don’t even like killing characters in my books. Take “The Eve of a Cherry” as an example. The first book was to know what he was losing, the second “For A Fine Cherry Spread” was acknowledgment. The third will be acceptance of the loss.

I cry for characters in books, and yes, there’s also anger. Before my inopportune nap, I read Eric Vall, and that was… something. As the song goes, “Tell me something good.” Because if I started crying about my real life, I might never ever stop. The taste is too much!!!

Grief Tastes Like The Ocean.

I Will Have No Fear

Raphael’s Redemptive Rage Ravishment Review “Book Review”

This is a long-overdue sequel to my review on The Fallen Genesis. Yet, it shows how long this story has stayed with me and how I still listen to the soundtrack from October… of 2019. Raphael’s Redemptive Rage Ravishment Review, when lust becomes love

Raphael’s Redemptive Rage Ravishment Review

“Chastity will cure Lust.” Raphael

“When I was a child, I spoke like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put aside childish things.” ― 1 Corinthians 13:11 (Bible)

Well, when I was a child, the name Raphael meant one thing. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles though I always thought of myself as more of a Donatello. Until I got clued in, I wasn’t that smart, so my thoughts on Tillie Cole’s book Raphael? I can tell you I liked it, and since I’m not one to waste time, I gave it five stars. Of course, that’s not why you’re here. It’s not for my philosophy on life or art either. So I promise you I’ll do what I can to explain the novel. How dare I, but okay, SIGH.

Raphael is the sequel to Tillie Cole’s novel The Fallen: Genesis. That’s the prequel to the Deadly Virtues series. I take it to mean that each story will be another of the Seven Deadly Sins. I know Ker Dukey is doing something like that too, but that’s neither here nor there. As far as Tillie Cole, I’ve read three of her tales. Sick Fux is still my favorite, but Raphael is in second place, no doubt. If you know my biases, you will understand why. I should add I’m not one for religion even though I am hoping for the second circle if there is a Hell. What guy doesn’t and you’ll have to excuse me, I lost myself in Far Cry 5 for a while. Is that why this review took so long? On that note, Raphael is full of lust with some madness and mayhem that I won’t give away until the end. So the first book in the series covered Gabriel; this is more of Raphael’s story.

“Hardships aged the soul even if the skin your body wore told another story.” Raphael

Now living up to the promises of the first. We see Raphael has come into his own as a man. Doing what seems to come naturally, he has become a proficient killer and is sent on the hunt by his big brother. Again there isn’t much bloodshed until such a point and time. And that’s because he comes face to face with his little rose. Maria, a nun in training who finds herself in the wrong place at the right time. A monster, a miracle, but a must-have for Raphael. Can’t say I fault the man at all because I liked her too. Now, I didn’t like the Brotherhood, which makes them the best kind of villains. If you told me such a group existed in reality, I wouldn’t argue. Oh yeah, they do, they’re called the Catholic Church. I also admire an author that will take a shot at the “faithful” at any time.

I am a fan of the His Dark Materials series of books, well the three I read. Haven’t I come up since then reading these types of stories? I guess you shouldn’t answer that. There are also a few excellent touches of BDSM in Raphael as far as Maria’s neck is concerned. She also comes with quite a dark past that she doesn’t want to look “BACK” on; that’s a hint. It is pretty gruesome. Yet nobody gets into this expecting everything to be sweetness and light. For me, it was another incredible take in an ongoing erotica genre motif.

“What must it be like to live a life of such darkness?” ― Tillie Cole.

For the most part, the novel speaks about Raphael and Maria. The two protagonists, a lust story that turns into a love story. I say lust gets a bad rap, but again it’s the second circle but the first where any punishment gets dealt out. We see that from Raphael and the other Fallen members. And The Brotherhood, as they begin to launch a counterstrike. I was quite excited to see how far this war would go. As anyone could have guessed with Raphael and Maria’s future trials. Their tribulations.

Except for being a killer, Raphael is a pretty decent human being. A man with a fetish for some lengthy hair, a lean neck, and long stem roses. He also frequents sex clubs. For ravishing good times, to reveal his psyche and his revelations. I’m not sure if they received mentions in the first book, but it’s what Gabriel has named his assignments. You see that in Raphael that every target is tailor-made for the brother who goes. I’ve heard of honor amongst thieves. And that was something that disappointed me about his character. I swear I turned lawyer as soon as “it” went down but still for Raphael to pull such a stunt. Yes, ladies, all men are that dumb when it comes to a particular girl. Another way of saying it would be, am I my brother’s keeper. Yes, I am, although I could name a few celebrities I know here or there.

“You have taken everything we are, the blood oath, our brotherhood, our commandments, and turned your back on us. All for a woman.” Tillie Cole

Maria, on the other hand, was portrayed perfectly. The naïve young woman with a past, a promise, and a pact with the Devil to boot. She is Raphael’s fantasy made flesh, and from the moment he sets eyes on her, they were both goners. The only problems she had were all the results of men. From the monsters who handled her to those, she found herself with eventually. Well, maybe not, but that’s for another story, I suppose. Maria made the perfect submissive. How it makes you think about religious women in general. She had daddy issues, but also the rest of the family suffered the same fate. The family issue is better, well no. Could we call it a suspension of disbelief with some of the calls she made in this tale? I’ll say so, but her love for Raphael, I swear if a woman found me so captivating, marriage wouldn’t be far behind.

Still, Raphael swore himself to his brothers and Maria well? There are reasons I don’t trust the church anymore, and no, I was never a catholic. I felt terrible for The Fallen, and it was upsetting that Maria gave in to how she lived such a life for so long. Together though, against the world, well, that’s the sort of love I know we all want. One more reason I read these types of titles, oh, and seeing The Brotherhood and The Fallen face off. Was that a spoiler, well I hope you’re ready for more, or you could stop right here if you like.

“Sin is simply due to the absence of love.” Raphael

Five stars all the way around and not only for sex. Yes, there’s horrific violence. Of course, none of that was aimed at Maria; did I say that out loud. She signed up for it when it came to Raphael, which wasn’t violence but their consensual kink. Right up until the end of the title.

“He was a sinner. He was going to hell. But he was sure this was how heaven would feel. Warmth and bliss and whole-body pleasure.” ― Raphael by Tillie Cole

Okay, OFFICIAL SPOILER WARNING, are you ready, are you? The sex is top-notch, but it’s the last bit when Maria is looking at death in the face. She wants to fulfill Raphael’s most fantastic fantasy. To be honest, I have told women some of mine. 50% of the time, it works every time, haha. Maria lives and “dies” his. If you don’t literally see that scene when you’re reading it, the fight with the Brotherhood. The Fallen standing together, how many movies wish they could set the stage so well. Puts me in The Matrix or John Wick, state of mind. To quote, Keanu Reeves ahem “GUNS, lots of guns” and other assorted hardware. At the very end, when Maria takes her place amongst The Fallen, how I’ve needed a sequel since yesterday. Now, I doubt they will ever make this a movie… did I mention the sex? Anyway, Tillie Cole has an excellent soundtrack.

So seeing as how I’ve given this novel a five-star rating, there can’t be anything wrong with it? Once again, I mention the lack of a sequel, and I’ve only read three titles from this author. Sick Fux will always be my favorite but never say never. Where could the author go with The Fallen? However, I would have thought there would have been more of a trial aspect. When Raphael broke the rules of The Fallen. That’s not a criticism, but I was already getting my arguments set up when it came to how they operated. If anything, it was a tad glossed over, um yep. It would have also been cool to hear about the rest of the Revelations. But again, there was a huge battle. There’s also the fact that it is set up ready for a sequel. I know I’m repeating myself but come on, we’re all still waiting and hoping.

If you’re what I think of as a “Holy Roller,” you’ll hate this book. I’m not one for hymns or spiritual music, but I would never have given it a chance if it wasn’t for this book. Yes, even I will listen to “Abide With Me.” You can even see the scenes in your mind in correlation to the soundtrack. Somehow I remained amazed that women like stories like this? Once again, not a criticism, only being a black man in America and I would never meet a girl like Maria. It’s like women searching for Prince Charming on the Disney Channel. Yes, the narrative is fictional, but one wishes. Interested, I hope so because this is a must-read. The type of story that stays with you and my word, how long has it taken me to get this full review out? I guess I couldn’t keep it to myself any longer. My idea of Raphael’s Redemptive Rage Ravishment Review

Gospel 102 ~When Will Gets Ticked~

While I’m proud to say there is not one tick on My Dæmon, I still see them everywhere… counting down on the clock, in everything people do, and in one more reason I’m a writer. It’s hard to ball a fist while typing. “When Will Gets Ticked.”

Sunday, October 11, 2020

Gospel 102 ~When Will Gets Ticked~

To Will:
I AM a Billionaire right now, and you’re mad you’re not, I get it. To be fair and yes, I repeatedly say who knows if money would make you happy. The wealthiest people out there seem to be the angriEST. Some even work the hardEST putting their soul on paper. How often are the smartEST heard? I’m amazed you know the EST of WWE. At least she’s a black woman and not some old white guy… no offense to your mentors. Speaking of which, motivation speakers ask why are you here and why are you angry. Um well…

Why do lounge around in bed, “thinking about tomorrow?” Well, now we’re back to the white guys, AHEM, you got nowhere else to go. Nobody’s going to blame you if we don’t have this conversation today. How many have we had while you lie dying? Ticked off at the world. How about why are you here creating? Yesterday I started Pinterest again, and just this morning, you added two new boards. All of them locked down tight. The names of those boards dull. More importantly, what about your writing? You do see the eleventh. However, why would you even care? Dammit, the clock is ticking, tick, tock. You wanted to be up at 8 AM, right? What, not 4 in the morning? You also said you would be at the dining room table. So many promises like Six Impossible Things:

  1. I AM Keeping It In My Pants (Day 001 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 001 No Fap)
  2. I AM Always The “Father” My Dæmon Deserves
    Failed
  3. I AM Sending Gulp Off To Be Published
    Failed
  4. I AM Reviewing Raphael By Tillie Cole
    Failed
  5. I AM Going To Bed Before Midnight Always
    Failed
  6. I AM Finishing Succubus 2 (Hell To Pay) Another A.J. Markam Title
    Completed

Are you angry that you’re starting “Back At One” again? 1 point for being alive and 16.5 points for reading another book, which I gave five stars to. Do you realize 15 poems a day for a week is over 100, and all you have to do is read them over? You choose to sleep. You’re ticked because you have so much time, and you waste it. I know you’re mad at me and the others; the reason why you restarted this blog. At the end of each day, you always hate yourself even more. You keep wanting to live for today, only it’s impossible. Greatest lie there is, you know but mixed with some truth. If we were to go back and look at the list all this year, what would we find? You paid people to publish a book, and you haven’t sent it, geez Six Impossible Things:

  1. I AM Keeping It In My Pants (Day 001 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
  2. I AM Always The “Father” My Dæmon Deserves
  3. I AM Sending Gulp Off To Be Published
  4. I AM Reviewing Raphael By Tillie Cole
  5. I AM Going To Bed Before Midnight
  6. I AM Finishing Succubus Lord 2, Eric Vall

So you’re here and angrily dreaming When Will Gets Ticked.

I Will Have No Fear

Gospel 101 ~Reinventing The Will SIGH~

I suppose I should be grateful for yet another opportunity to change. As much s I would like to admit I had plans for today, cut to Pinterest and a bout of sickness. Over one and not the other. Can you guess? Reinventing The Will SIGH.

Saturday, October 10, 2020

Gospel 101 ~Reinventing The Will SIGH~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Billionaire right now, so add doctors to the list. Here I was shaking about the Coronavirus (COVID-19), but where have I spent the last few hours? Well, yeah, in bed, sleeping until 10 AM, but I should have enjoyed it. Let’s say for now God bless Sprite, which I always keep on hand. How sick was I? It all started when I took a little trip down to Pinterest way. A new email, a new Pinterest home, and the same mistakes. The only thing that keeps me 100% fearful is my “father.” He was doing a favor, killing me.

Woah! I hear you, Lady Lu, and I’m not getting into any Halloween celebrations quite yet. What I mean is, as the song goes, you “Make Me Wanna Die.” I’m not suicidal, but back then, every single time, it was because of him. Didn’t want his progeny living in fear. Speaking of which, before I screwed up this afternoon, I was running away from my phone. Now of all the terrors it holds, friendship shouldn’t be one. Oh baby, I love you, just leave me the (blank) alone. I swear with such and such texting me I’ll write a book. Only my stomach knew I had no such designs, and when I know I’m doing something wrong, it’s all “Down With The Sickness.” I swear I felt like crying, and I’ve been getting many of these days over and over.

My dreams aren’t exactly helping. I told M Anime that they serve as messages. So my “father” a million texts, and an upset stomach, but now visions. Yes, Lady Lu, I still see myself as a young man. Well, me and My Dæmon wise. Even he was worried about me. Anyway, while dreaming, I saw a Latino man sliding down a slip n’ slide or a waterslide. Trash was on both sides, and he was scared, but he kept sliding without any real control. Hell, I wish I could tell you more, but again I’m trying to be good. So why am I on Pinterest? I see the signs. And not only in my head Lady Lu. I’m wasting too much time on nothing. You know, maybe that’s it, something fun, but it’s all garbage. What about the character, hmm?

As always, I have to be better, but again I’m trying. Reinventing The Will SIGH

I Will Have No Fear

Gospel 100 ~A Will Good Read~

One more week down and one more book read, not that I will change the challenge to fifteen. I don’t have that sort of faith but shouldn’t I read at least four “Holiday” stories, and NaNoWriMo is in November. “A Will Good Read,” someday

Friday, October 9, 2020

Gospel 100 ~A Will Good Read~

Hey Lady Sophia,
I AM a Billionaire right now, and “If You Don’t Know Me by Now,” I’m building a library. Now why I don’t care much for The Twilight Zone’s – Time Enough at Last (hits too close to home). What wouldn’t I give for all the time in the world to read AND write? Yeah, and what have I been doing for the last few hours again? Hell, I should note Eric Thomas’s words of giving up sleep. At least I woke up to good news. Geez, how I have missed Skybound’s compilations.

It’s a fitting reward for finishing the novel of the week. Now you know I can’t talk about it because it ain’t Thursday. Yet the ending was satisfying enough that I might turn back to Eric Vall’s works. Speaking of things I’m not finishing. Yes, so many different series and so little time. I wish I could tell you the name of my next prominent character. NaNoWriMo begins next month, and I’m no closer to finishing GULP this week. Hell, I did spend one whole night reading through a novel, Wake Me Up Before I Kill You. Yep, that’s what they call foreshadowing. Yes, My Lady, I noticed I’ve used “Hell” twice, but what can I say, it’s one of my favorite words. I’ve got a list of my most hated words, so why not my favorites. I’ve been saying I’m going to get a brand new Pinterest. Only I won’t use any of my words there, like never ever.

I’ve been much too busy reading My Dæmon’s medications and his new food. I’m talking vittles that look pretty good… not that I’m doing a taste test or anything. Only one more reason I’m late today. I went to two BBQ joints, and that Piggie Potato sent me to sleep. So what, did I come into some money? I’m afraid not, but I did work on an off day as if I “resurrected my cashflow.” I promise one of these days, you are going to get all my pop culture references. If I ever publish a book, I’ll be able to contact these celebrity people. “The beautiful people, the beautiful people,” as the song goes. Okay, so going back to my book. Dr. Sarah Annora Haven is covering up the fact that she murdered Deanna. When Father Bridgman should have.

What, the stories over already… it’s A Will Good Read.

I Will Have No Fear

Gospel 099 ~Will Of The Illogical~

Is she an alien, a robot? Maybe she’s like me believing it’s the end of the world and if I were the only boy and she is the only girl. All I know is this isn’t normal, which is why I scare all the MILFs. Will Of The Illogical

Thursday, October 8, 2020

Gospel 099 ~Will Of The Illogical~

WARNING, 18+, READER DISCRETION ADVISED

Come In Dirty Diana,
I AM a Billionaire right now, so let’s get lost, as the song goes. For the record, seeing how I’ve tried to clean up my image these past few days. Today I can say what I want; I’m putting that out there. Now, yes, for posterity AHEM, Zombies, Aliens, Robots. I believe in all of them. Only which one will take us out first? Do I sound crazy to you? Dirty Diana, I actually prefer the following miracles. When I get some girl to take her clothes off. How about getting into bed with some random girl? My writings as turn-ons.

First Dirty Diana, I do consider women, um… Well, that would be a long-ass conversation today. Let’s say with all the leaps in bounds in medical technology. Hundreds, Thousands, Millions, of alien women dotting the cosmos. What about companies like Real Doll? I value humans. Opening up the novel I’ve been reading, Succubus 2 (Hell To Pay) is an exception. What about my writing of women inflicted with a zombie thirst for “sex?” I’ll even admit to several fantasies, with tentacles. Hell, three words are you ready; “Detroit Become Human.” Basically, my point is Dirty Diana is when it comes to a woman, something has to be wrong with her. Talk about projection, am I right? Any woman that is what accounts to “normal” wouldn’t have me, I know that.

Introductory classes on not being confident or sexy; yep, I’ll be here all week. I wish I could say I sound like a Vulcan a bit. Yet again, I am ignoring the advice of old white men. I’ve started NO FAP what now! At least I’m not edging to FF VII Tifa for now, ha-ha. Starting with some good ole model ass. Yeah, can’t say I ever fucked some girl at prom. I’ve never deflowered some virgin. Dirty Diana, with all the kinky shit I’m into, I’ve never had a threesome. Can’t say I’ve ever woken up with a girl on Saturday listening to music. Commencing with my everyday life, that’s what that would be. It would be logical, and I am anything but and neither are most women. How about thinking about Yabbos 24/7 and 365 Dirty Diana, nope.

Topping, being a dominant, the lifestyle, what’s wrong with that. So I create a new world that makes no sense. Love, Will Of The Illogical

I Will Have No Fear

Gospel 098 ~Well HALO There Will~

Be yourself… question, what is the worst advice you’ve ever been given? If I could start again, a million miles away as the song goes. I’m no saint but I was raised in the church; I could fake it, I know plenty who do. Well HALO There Will.

Wednesday, October 7, 2020

Gospel 098 ~Well HALO There Will~

Forgive Me Echo,
I AM a Billionaire right now, but the truth is, as the song goes, I feel STUPID. Yes, Inspector Echo it’s still one of the ugliest words in the English language. The #1 word of my most hated words. Now don’t expect me to get all positive as I was at the beginning of the year, maybe. Oh, and speaking of negativity, I’m pretty damn sure I don’t have the PLAGUE better known as Coronavirus (COVID-19). My nose is better; while not perfect, I’m still breathing. I guess I can clear my head. Is that a HALO?

Not sure if you’ve seen, but over the past few days, I’ve been trying to let my better qualities show. In the words of Kratos, “Don’t be sorry. Be Better.” Hell, I’ve only played the first God of War and haven’t picked up a controller in ages. Now my smartphone… Anyway, I have been reading every day. Nothing I can talk about, mind you. I should probably get into reading the Pinterest rules. Am I going back to that? As THEY say, Echo, third time is the charm. I noticed yet again I’m listening to an old white guy, SIGH. Speaking of old white guys, I can name two. First, I have my boss at the Day Job. Now he and the GM have given me an “important” assignment of back stocking all the new stuff we’re getting. Heaven has its jobs, and so does Hell, but who am I?

I have to stop convincing myself I’m this massive sinner. Otherwise, I’ll never get over my consuming addiction. Yet I know I’m not a saint either, but I’m out there looking for a HALO, which is more elusive than my work. The thing is I ain’t Trump, I’m taking responsibility. Inspector Echo, is it too little, too late? I don’t want to spend my life alone, and even my little dæmon is in trouble. You must be getting sick of me with the songs, but AHEM I keep trying to do the right thing, But I keep doing it the wrong way. Aren’t he and I a match, Father and son? Today the question is, why am I trying to change. Well, no, it’s more to the tune of fixing my image. That’s a no go too. In truth, I don’t want to be a good man. Only Will hmm?

Nah. Well HALO There Will.


I Will Have No Fear

Gospel 097 ~Will Goes To L~

Unlike a zombie virus, I think love will find me someday. Well, I do have puppy love if you count my little pancake running around the house. Maybe it’s all his hair floating around everywhere or a change in the weather. Will Goes To L

Tuesday, October 6, 2020

Gospel 097 ~Will Goes To L~

Dear Future Wife,
I AM a Billionaire right now, but my favorite color will always be black. While I like tigers, my favorite animal will always be my dæmon. How many secrets do I want to share with you? LOTS. The L-word Baby Doll? I wish I could say that you were the first woman I ever said that too. People can be bad influences using that word all Willy-nilly. I tell my dæmon, you, our other children every day. I love you. Look at me being all sentimental and because of a stuffy nose. I can be a big baby when I get… nope.

Let me LIVE the dream. The Impossible Dream because I’m not sick. Only when you live in the plague era for going on how many months? There were times where I merely existed from one day to another. I want to breathe because one day I’ll have lots to say. Not only about the current bit of LITERATURE I’m reading. I could talk about books for hours and how many times I’ve been, Accidentally In Love, as the song goes. We haven’t taken the kids to the library in ages, and now my favorite movie spot is about to close. It’s like LISTENING to all those 40s and 50s apocalyptic tracks that are now coming true. If something was wrong with me, I wouldn’t want you here and at that time… well, you know me, misery and company as THEY say. Yet you’re my sunshine.

Baby, You’re My LIGHT, so am I in Heaven already. Anything without you would be Hell. Damn, how serious did that get? It’s like looking on WebMD that will always tell you you’re dying. We should be enjoying the sunshine or basking in each other. Surrounding ourselves in this thing called LIFE. If I’ve learned anything from my End of the World ideology. People like me are practically immortal. Well, I got lucky; I didn’t have to wait for the zombie lot to find you. I’m the only boy, and you’re the only girl, ha. We Found LOVE in a hopeless place. Yeah, do I want to stay listening to Spotify all day. I could hear you tell me that you love me repeatedly. The kids are someone laughing at the dæmon. He would Dance On Our Graves now. Hate keeps you living; love’s worth dying. Will Goes To L

I Will Have No Fear

Gospel 096 ~Doubt Drips And Floods Minds~

People crying for money, laughing at me, and I’m sure some Trump supporters are out of relief. Sometimes I feel like tearing up, but there is something else coming out of my eyes, and that’s fear of uncertainty. Doubt Drips And Floods Minds

Monday, October 6, 2020

Gospel 096 ~Doubt Drips And Floods Minds~

Hundred And Fifty-Sixth Rule

Madam Justice,
I AM a Billionaire right now, which means I can afford to get medical care like Trump. I’ll never have to hear that humming in the house ever again (yes, it has returned). How about we finish our conversation before wrestling comes on. I’m about to start sounding like Georgina from the movie Get Out. I don’t have the plague, Madam Justice. My nose is acting kind of funny, that’s all. Damn, that humming ended, I don’t know when and has started back today. We’ll still be talking when it’s time for WWE.

Now, Madam Justice, you know how I talk about FEAR, but doubt is a relative. Hell, let’s talk about the Day Job’s humiliation. I tried hanging up those doggy sweaters, got scared, and left them. So yeah, the new guy put them up no problem, and I looked SIGH, STUPID. When I came back to the house, I was all in reading the latest novel, and knowing me, all I wanted to do was fall asleep. Not because it’s terrible, but that’s what I do? Am I tired? I have another word for it, Madam Justice. If anything, I’m damn lazy, slothful, good for nothing. What about my OCD over everything? Oh, I do mean everything. I had a plan this afternoon that got spoiled because some lady was outside Walmart, begging for money. Afterward, I’m sitting there doubting I have cash for ranch wings.

That’s why I’m sitting on the sofa, lying in bed, hell, staring at my phone in a parked car. It’s like floating, you know. Madam Justice, I can’t swim, and I literally can’t float in a pool. Only when I’m right here, in bed, or a zombie, I’m keeping my head above water just so. Every day I’m fighting like crazy and then wonder why I’m going mad with a straight face. I read about this torture, where a drop of water to the temple continuously will get that result. Yet I continue to sit or lie, and I keep breathing, but how much longer? I don’t mean to sound so dark. Notice what I’m not talking about… I have such a good joke, but no. I doubt my resolve, along with everything else in my life. Has the humming stopped, or have I stopped worrying about it right now?

Sweat, blood, tears, sloppy writing. Doubt Drips And Floods Minds.

I Will Have No Fear