Tag: Dog

Chronicle 120 ~How Scary Stories B~

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My NaNo project came to me as I sat in a Burger King drive-thru spending $3.00 as $12.00 an hr ain’t going to cut it. Wow, I was lied to. That’s like saying the black guy dies in the horror movie, oh she’s pretty, there’s a virus. How Scary Stories B

Friday, October 29, 2021

Chronicle 120 ~How Scary Stories B~

Hey Lady Sophia,
I AM a Billionaire right now, which means I can afford a Lobotomy. Why would I forget Braxton’s death, my father’s call?

No, no, no, as we’re close to All Hallows’ Eve and all, I want to tell you another scary tale. Forgive me for the lack of a title, “Behave In The Cherry Patch” is all I have for NaNo now. Anyway, AHEM, once there was a boy who thought he received a Day Job promotion. The boy would be in charge for once; he would make a lot of money. Perhaps he could live The American Dream. He would work hard; he would do it not only for himself but to honor his lost boy, B III. So he looked at his paycheck to see his worth and… $12.00 hr. Scary, isn’t it? It gets so much worse, Lady Sophia, doing the numbers this morning.

But before that, how about another shot at a horror tale. Quasimodo, Jigsaw, zombies, ha. At least I have the good sense not to show my face. Anyway, it was HARD getting up this morning. You know what I mean, that “third leg.” Usually, I only got two, Braxton’s walk. No Lady Sophia, without him, I’m allowed to indulge in the light. So I see what I’m doing, disgusting. 271 Days since Braxton left. 161 Days I was a monk. Now 6 Days of abstinence. Well, at least I didn’t put this morning’s shenanigans on OnlyFans. My Stuff and Thangs. Still, the monster grows. It’s like I’ll come apart any second. My skin is crawling, and I’m so cold. The boy, the man, I am.

Or whatever it is that I’m becoming because I won’t be writing another Braxton novel. “Behave In The Cherry Patch” will be my next book. Yet to write Chapter characters. My tale will be about lost “loves” back from the dead. A Technological Necromancer, ha. The things we do for love. Not that I could write quite like Game of Thrones. Show or books, hmm? It depends on who you ask, and I’m not asking people. Not B III’s book. Lady Sophia, the story will be about Father Bridgman’s dead children. And plenty of hot pieces of ass when it comes to The Moondust. What’s scarier than telling the truth about a work of fiction. Like JoAnna Luna’s hotness in “Display?” How Scary Stories B

271 Days Without B III

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Chronicle 119 ~Rereading A’s And B’s~

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Lies, I told my son. Lies, I tell myself, I’m glad I wrote the story out. At the rate I’m going, a story that will never be published. But these letters to my little boy even when he was 15, which is damn near 70 in “dog years?” Rereading A’s And B’s

Thursday, October 28, 2021

Chronicle 119 ~Rereading A’s And B’s~

270 Days Without B III

Just Me Baby B,
Did you have a good day? The fact that we’re talking on a Sunday lets you know all about my day.

It’s another reason I’d shush you as Soon As I Get Home from work. You know why you never knew your stepmom. Who wants to hear about Humiliations Galore always? Braxton, even more so, it hurts when I lie at the Day Job. I’ve said it before that going to my old words of “another day,” my indifference. No B, “son, what you don’t understand.”And here come the waterworks with “Don’t Look Down.” Only I didn’t leave you. The rest of the song still applies. Also, I don’t want to retell the story of how you died, B III. Hell, I relive that tale every time I shut my eyes. It’s the reason I cry every day. I’m burning myself alive. Remember the movie Spontaneous?

No, that’s a film I watched long after you passed. The stories I tell every night so I can sleep but now I’m telling old stories. In my most hated words list, I should add Acceptance. I still haven’t, you know. 270 Days and Routine, your water bowl remains full, and I haven’t switched out your bathroom pad. It’s clean. My biggest worry is your treats. Braxton, I only want to make it through one year. Aunt Carolina Bound’s not Happy. Neither am I, but that’s the standard. It’s getting around NaNoWriMo season, and now I do have a writing idea. The first has nothing to do with you, really. Well, more like Bastian Barks Bennett. This is a conversation for Sophia, but you’re here.

I’m sitting at the dining room table, imagining you’ll get off your pillow and direct me to the door. Anyway, my first idea. You know how I thought I’d finished my Cherry trilogy. Killed her the first one, killed you in the last one. I’m starting to think VR and robots. Now my second idea, and Braxton, you have to forgive me for this. I talk about you replacing Cerberus in Hell. What kind of Daddy imagines his son going to Hell? So I’m thinking about Drive Angry, how Milton described it. Braxton, watching my fuck-ups. Would you come back and save me, or would you let me have your wrath? I’d understand both. Hope I’m writing before you see this. Rereading A’s And B’s

“You know the pain and suffering ain’t the worse part, right? That’s what they tell ya, what they want you to believe. But it’s all a big fuckin lie. Nosir, worst part’s the goddamn video feed.”

“It ain’t about the fire and brimstone. Ain’t about your suffering. It’s about the suffering of them you love. Cuz you see it. You see it all. In full goddamn detail. And there ain’t nothin you can do about it.” ― Drive Angry (2011)

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Chronicle 117 ~Will B Decorating Soon~

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Stores are filled with holiday crap these days. It’s meant to bring out our touchy-feely nature. I’m still mad at having to put down new floor mats at the Day Job. Hell B’s life was new comfy spots. Let me close my eyes. “Will B Decorating Soon”

Tuesday, October 26, 2021

Chronicle 117 ~Will B Decorating Soon~

Dear Future Wife,
I AM a Billionaire right now, which means whatever you want for the house for Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas. Listen to the woman

That’s a piece of advice I won’t ever forget. Next to how my Ma taught me how to cook shrimp and also make tartar sauce. The lessons on how to make a house into a home. All I know for sure is, A Man Provides. Please tell me I’ve done that these past 268 Days. Sometimes I don’t recognize this house anymore. I’ve known people who have suffered such loss and have to move away. Anyone tells me that Braxton was just a dog… well, there’s a reason I got myself a gun, and I don’t go near it. Hell Braxton rests high above it. On the nightstand, the Box, his hair, my pendant with some of his ashes. But how about the wall, hmm?

What about the tattoo I talk about every week? I was reminded of it today (Saturday) by my third best friend. Braxton, of course, is first, then you, then her. Well, I’ve been in trouble a lot over Braxton. I’m still cringing about the former Day Job and those mats. “JSS,” Just Survive Somehow, she told me. Some framed pics, a chest, a photobook, a stand. I have the first book I wrote for Braxton. I’d like to write another and have other dog books. I never knew how much stuff Braxton had, and here I am, willing to give up everything or plenty because I don’t want to lose you or my family. It’s why I embraced the holidays. They’re easier than my loss.

I’m no repairman or decorator. While being Daddy to our kids brings the greatest joy. A house is not a home without a dog. Or a cat, other furries as well. I’m a dog person. And a spoiled one at that. I saw this black beagle mix named Shay today at Petsmart, who looked so scared. Braxton was meant to be an accessory for my sis, but Shay’s place, um? At least she matched my clothes. Yes, I know a gift for the kids but ask my father about a family pet. Yeah, that’s right, you’ll never meet him. My father taints whatever I love. Loving another Chihuahua, of course. I’m a snob in beauty, in books, and bringing doggies home. Will B Decorating Soon

268 Days Without B III

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Chronicle 113 ~Lying, Braxton Be Trippin’~

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It’d be less humiliating to be on my knees to God than how the Day Job had me crawling around Thu. Ironic that it was the shoe lady that had me doing that. What I wouldn’t give to be on the floor playing with B again. Lying, Braxton Be Trippin’

Friday, October 22, 2021

Chronicle 113 ~Lying, Braxton Be Trippin’~

Hey Lady Sophia,
I AM a Billionaire right now, meaning I always have a soft place to land when I fall flat on my face.

So with my Republican ideology. I wish I could bury my head in the sand after yesterday’s humiliations. I did get off the Day Job early but let’s not forget I don’t even have money. This means I’m less than dirt, or should I say lint, as I’m lying in bed all day again. I should go shopping, but I’m already making up excuses. No, the word should be “Lying.” I would have been better off lying there and letting people step all over me. Hell, I was on the floor replacing those damn soft mats. I can do both; indeed, I followed through Sophia. Let’s focus on the lies, though. The fact that I thought, “I’m Gonna Be Somebody.” Now that would be Braxton.

There were days when Braxton would curl up beside my head, and I could go blind with all his hair. I would take one of the days when he would step on my face. How about the lies B would tell to get me to follow him and attempt to do something with this existence? With him around, I had to walk the straight and narrow path because where’s Braxton? Sophia, I try that at my Day Job, ok. Once again, I’m a fucking joke. I hate it there always. What have I been doing all this morning, making mistakes, and why? Comfy spots SIGH. Be it burgers, books, boobs, I spent how much again? The bucks better be there, or is $12.00 hourly it?

“The pessimist looks down and hits his head. The optimist looks up and loses his footing. The realist looks forward and adjusts his path accordingly.”
― The Walking Dead, 07×02

Was my Manager lying to me? It wouldn’t be the first time. Let’s focus on my lie, though. Which was, I wouldn’t be able to get fries for Braxton yesterday. As you can see, ta-da. What would have happened if I had this drive while Braxton was alive? B’s waiting. Another way of lying to myself so I don’t have to look. B III’s in the den waiting for fries. I stay in the dark so I can pretend he’s lying somewhere, and I have to look out for him. Days like yesterday say I should follow him and let his barking drive away, the noise. B III breathing did too. His lies that I’m a good Daddy I can forgive. Lying, Braxton Be Trippin’

264 Days Without B III

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Chronicle 112 ~When Braxton Fries Away~

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I talked about food last week. B would be ticked off to see I didn’t bring fries back. I bought a chicken biscuit, and I yelled at McD’s for their STUPID rewards program I never signed up for. B’s brain and belly were linked. When Braxton Fries Away

Thursday, October 21, 2021

Chronicle 112 ~When Braxton Fries Away~

263 Days Without B III

Just Me Baby B,
Did you have a good day? I hope I picked something up but no fries B. I had a chicken biscuit.

Yes, I’m talking to you on a Wednesday. As always, I think back to when it would have mattered. The Wednesday, you cried, and by Thursday, I thought you would be okay. One more thing to be sorry for. I didn’t want to bring you down, and I’m bawling guaranteed. Not over Colin Powell, though. While I was in line today, again Wednesday, I saw the flag at half-staff. I don’t look up most days. I can only imagine what you think of me. You’re higher now, and if I had wings, a cape, a pile of money, I’d make my way up, B III. You have to believe me; I’m still trying, but it’s never enough. I’m talking like no fries for us both.

A day without fries is like a day without sunshine. If I didn’t bring food home, then we walked. Which one was better for you, B? There was no final walk and no last fry when your time came. Time, what did I do with all of mine today? And by Thursday, I’ll be out. I often envision what Hell will be like. Never getting to nap again. Wasting time. Braxton, I remember thinking the police would show up and take me away. Alone again. Is it sitting here, waiting to die? I didn’t even have it in me to make it back downstairs B. I wouldn’t expect you to follow me. I carried you in your old age, but you came up by yourself.

If I had the money, where would you like to eat? I’m sure the Rainbow Bridge has better fries than McDonald’s. Burger King, Seafood & Chicken Box, Red Lantern, etc. I swear, the best places are either fucked-up or closed down. Don’t repeat that language. You’re your father’s son, after all, and I want to keep you on the up and up. Well, unless you feel like taking a trip to visit me. I found some of your bandannas from PetSmart on the floor, and I figured you’d been by. I know I’m in your room every day. Little B. Thursday morning, there will be 263 for all the Days you’ve been gone. There are lots of ways to be empty. When Braxton Fries Away

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Chronicle 110 ~To B Somewhere Else~

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I need a vacation, and I mean a real break. Hell, I haven’t been to the movies in about two years. I went to my second best friend’s wedding. Happy Anniversary, Carolina Bound to you and the hubby. Of course, where was B III then? To B Somewhere Else

Tuesday, October 19, 2021

Chronicle 110 ~To B Somewhere Else~

Dear Future Wife,
I AM a Billionaire right now, but sooner or later, I would have found myself sitting there. “Let’s go home, Daddy.”

Not a day goes by where I don’t see that moment. My Ma told me that I’d make room for “Happy” memories. I wish I were Happy with Braxton. Am I Happy with you? A considerable discussion but with Braxton. I was better than I am right now, Love, without question. When I met Braxton, I was a twenty-something boy in my Olds bedroom one night. Remember when I told you that Braxton jumped into my car when they moved away. How many times did I stroll into the house, and Braxton was thrilled I’d returned? Home is where the heart is, and the second B was gone. The first thing was I couldn’t go home. You know exactly where I wanted to go. Rainbow Bridge.

Now I’ve been looking all over the house for a place. I’ve never been one for decoration or art. I mean, there is still Braxton’s room. My oldest hoody, hanging on the door. His meds and what’s left of his food in its place. Treats on the table; Braxton’s Remains. Every day I want to put them in another type of urn. That is if I ever get the nerve to open that box again. Hell, I’m tempted to give him a wall in the bedroom, ok. Do you think I’m mad? I’ll get one of those Cuddle Clones for the foot of the bed. And there is my tattoo. Besides working, my betrayal, and the need for survival, I haven’t been anywhere else Love.

I need a vacation, another bed with you in it, of course. Where do you think we should go? I take it you want a real trip, but I can’t even get up to go to the movies. There was lunch with my second best friend and her hubby, and I’m still so embarrassed now. There’s no escaping fear, shame, I was going to say, the truth. The truth shall set you free. So am I happy with you and the world that we have even without Braxton living? Yes. Do I know that I can’t go on like this always and forever as I told Braxton the same? Yes. Will I ever find ACCEPTANCE in him being gone? My Love, To B Somewhere Else.

261 Days Without B III

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Chronicle 106 ~B A Man Because~

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Um, good news, I got promoted, bad news, somebody thinks I should be in charge. Worse news, Braxton has been gone 257 days, and he was much more of a man than me. But he wouldn’t like my Day Job either or how I’m living now. B A Man Because

Friday, October 15, 2021

Chronicle 106 ~B A Man Because~

Hey Lady Sophia,
I AM a Billionaire right now, but is that how I judge success? Dennis Hof, Gary Paulsen, Rodzil LaBraun, hell, Seong Gi-hun.

Alas, I am only me. I wish I could be B; that is, if I can’t have him back. Yet one more apology I owe him. I’ve spoken about choosing everything over him. Now with yesterday’s events. I would have come back, hugged him close, and fell asleep terrified and enraged. I present the question again, Sophia, is this how I judge success? If anything, I’m more like Spiderman; I don’t feel so good. This is dangerous to say but like Spontaneous, to explode. The Tomorrow War, to be thrown into another time. Spiderman drifted away. No, I don’t fear being somebody, Lady Sophia. I’ve sung about wanting to be “Successful.” Yet I’m sitting here in bed, without even a swallow of sugar-free Root Beer.

Relax, I’ll go to the store today despite waking up late. 5:00 AM is pretty damn late. I can’t make ignoring my alarm part of my routine. If I had forgotten my phone Wednesday like I had ignored Braxton, I wouldn’t even be in this mess. Temporary, the manager said. Okay, so what’s the problem? Thursday, I got promoted to a position for the holidays. Fuck, I don’t even know the title. Of course, you know I can’t stand the holidays from E-Day to the rest of the year. And they’re multiplying. What will I call B III’s leaving life? Today I don’t even know what to call myself. So why did I do it? The money, staying in the stockroom, fear of people, yep.

Dennis Hof and Rodzil LaBraun told women what to do. R.I.P. Gary Paulsen, who wrote one of my top ten favorite books, told characters what to do. Yes, Rodzil is a writer but of harem erotica. Who knows what Gi-hun is going to do? No Squid Game spoilers from me. Only last night, I didn’t dream of that. I dreamt of someone in the house again, and I got my gun and chased them into Braxton’s room. They were trapped, and if they left, I’d blast them. That’s when I woke up. I saw the guy, a black hoodie, smiling yet scared. Lady Sophia, it was me. Acceptance equals death; that’s the meaning. Success too, but Braxton isn’t here. My turn. B A Man Because

257 Days Without B III

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Chronicle 105 ~Restaurants With A B-Plus~

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A woman at the Day Job says to eat more. Has she seen what I make? I have no qualms about my body, and if B were here, I would make sure to get a side of fries. To be honest, how does M Anime eat at all? What is B eating? “Restaurants With A B-Plus.”

Thursday, October 14, 2021

Chronicle 105 ~Restaurants With A B-Plus~

256 Days Without B III

Just Me Baby B,
Did you have a good day? Are you checking up on me any? I wouldn’t blame you if you weren’t, Braxton.

I remember I would have fleeting thoughts before you were gone, how this would be. Once I told your Aunt that I would listen to “See You Again” when I was mad at you. I don’t recall the last time I heard it. There was a time I would play it and others every day. It beats my ranting, raving, and rambling, wouldn’t you agree? I tried not to when you were sleeping. Which begs the question, Braxton, why are we talking this morning? Because your Daddy didn’t have any fries to stick in his mouth. The Day Job called. Braxton, how could I say no to you and yes to those PEOPLE? At the end of the day, you had to eat, nothing more.

Food has been the name of the game all this week. If you need another reason to be pissed at me, besides everything else. Yeah, I haven’t been bringing food back, or it was chocolate. Yesterday, I started to share something with Inspector Echo, but I didn’t know how to word it. I still don’t, but here it is. Truth, I haven’t been eating the way I should this past week. It’s not my intention to starve myself like I did years back. Hell, the only reason I’m still breathing, I’m Alive, is because of you and the Day Job. I love you and hate them, Funny how that works. If I survive today, then I keep my promise to you. If not, we’re together.

It’s what we in the business call a win-win. Thank you, Emily, “Just SUMM Reactions.” I’ve been subsisting off of movie reactions and eating like the contestants of Squid Game. How I wish you were here after Episode 8. I can’t justify buying a steak if I can’t share it with you. Emergence Day was an exception, of course. That was one more promise kept. Like wanting to help M Anime? Braxton, I know you love your Aunt Carolina Bound. She’s a lot less picky when it comes to food. M Anime and I would starve each other, you know. If anything, that would mean more for you. But you are your father’s son, Braxton. I made around 220 last week… Restaurants With A B-Plus

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Chronicle 103 ~Hip To B Square~

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Braxton was a little me sometimes. He was quiet on Sundays because he knew I watched TWD. He was annoyed at the Olympics, but wrestling, B would zoom around as I wasn’t paying attention. He thought he was a pimp on walks. “Hip To B Square.”

Tuesday, October 12, 2021

Chronicle 103 ~Hip To B Square~

Dear Future Wife,
I AM a Billionaire right now, and money can make anyone beautiful. Or so I’ve been told. What about cool, My Love?

Well, I’m still crying over my Lost Boy. It’s now been 254 Days. Planning my cryfest, our conversations, and how much cash I got, we got. I hope we’re not on a “sex” schedule, ha. That’s one area of my life that I’d like to keep Spontaneous. Then there’s something… My Braxton, again? Acceptance isn’t something I’m going to find in any novel waiting. It’s Sunday (Time Travel). Yeah, I cried this morning and this afternoon around 3:30 – 4:00 PM. Nope, I’m not opening his resting place again until I have something better. My skin? Tattoos are cool, right, except I believe that some people go overboard. If it’s in tears or ink, can’t I have both. It would mean venturing from bed or Den.

How about going down to PetSmart? Saturday, the doggies weren’t there, but I did get another email about one. Lucky for him and me, by the time I looked the puppy up, there were takers. Not like I need another beautiful thing to have put into a box. Creepy cool? Why do I care about being cool all of a sudden? Didn’t need that to get you, my Sweet Love. There’s always Love but with that comes, my Grief too. Now Squid Game becomes routine. It’s a lot of tears from Episode 6, but not from me. Hell, I cried so long for my “Gganbu?” Again I’m trying to be like everyone else, the Cool Kids. I’m your husband, also a father, a provider. Braxton’s…

The Hell if I know. But I feel you, Baby Doll, on my side, my hip. B, Carolina Bound, etc. You’ve listened to me prattle about my newest “obsession?” It’s not that, but it’s good. We haven’t been out in how long? Every dinner has been bagged or boxed somewhere. Baby Girl, I’ve lost myself in books. Emulating Bill Gates style. I only mean reading. You’ve been worried I could end up in some fancy box with how I’m moving. Acceptance of what has happened is not cool at all. Neither is dying. I wish I could call myself a nerd or a geek. I’m not smart enough and with what I’ve been into. I’m always into you (wink). But Love… Hip To B Square

254 Days Without B III

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Chronicle 099 ~I Should B Writing~

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Let’s start with, I should be getting up in the morning for things other than what my soul despises. Hell, I wasn’t sleeping at all when B III needed me. A lie, the first day he cried, I told him to shush it. I need to remember. “I Should B Writing.”

Friday, October 8, 2021

Chronicle 099 ~I Should B Writing~

Hey Lady Sophia,
I AM a Billionaire right now, or I might be if I wasn’t up at 11:00 AM. I’m always writing the negative.

I should be writing you about surviving the Day Job. I’m not telling THEM but you, Lady Sophia. I’m sorry about my job performance. Um, I don’t even know if I fucked up or not. I’m learning my first instinct; 9 out of 10 is wrong. But I’m sure I’ll hear it all next week. Ok, with what I was doing on Friday, January 29, 2021? Um, so It’s back to that, isn’t it? I should have been writing checks or more like dolling out the cash before then. But as always, I like someone else’s writing. The bank said I had money. Thanks, government. After that day, I had plenty of writing before “The End.” Now, every day, I wish, I wish, I wish…

R. Kelly isn’t a role model. You’re not Inspector Echo, but if you want a confession, his music is still good. Only these days I’ve been watching, more like listening to reactions of Squid Game. Why don’t I write a review of it or one of A.J. Markam’s Succubus novels? Hell, I can’t even tell you a story of keeping “it” in my pants. Well, I could have earlier this morning if you wonder where I’ve been. Besides sleeping the day away, it’s been about “Stuff and Thangs.” I made it the week, but Inspector Echo didn’t know… Time Travel. Now I won’t go into who caused the mess, well me. Yet at the moment, I don’t want to speak on ahem, Girls, Girls, Girls.

Should I be writing about how much I miss the music? How long has it been since I listened to Braxton’s playlist or The B III Roll? The only songs I have looping are “Fly Me To The Moon,” sung by Joo Won. And “Easy Street” The Collapsable Hearts Club feat. Jim Bianco and Petra Haden. Now like Spontaneous, playing in Squid Game seems tolerable. I was about to say it beats talking about Braxton… How dare I!!! I get emails about other furbabies, but whenever it comes to the application? I can’t put my name down or anything else. Even them sending me messages is one more sign of my Treachery. Like in school, I should be writing I’m sorry. I Should B Writing.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ysu4jxo-cUI
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QwksATd9lXU

250 Days Without B III

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will