Tag: Dying

Saga 037 ~What Comes After B~

WillLeave a comment

After 553 days, this shouldn’t be brought to you by the letter B. Today is all AD when I’m still wondering about AB. Republican idea to not get over things, I suppose. But I’ll keep the monkey, the Braxton, on my back, thanks. What Comes After B

Sunday, August 7, 2022

Saga 037 ~What Comes After B~

To Will:
I AM a Billionaire right now, but after that, who am I? Better question, who are you? Somebody that doesn’t know the alphabet?

Or you’re someone lost in the past, which explains what you’ve been looking at besides… Anyway, we’ll get to that. Only you “found” this picture of B III. Then again, who knows? You’re not going to delve that far into the past because it hurts too much. Can you feel it? What you don’t feel or even remember. Is this shame from what happened with the Basic Bitch today, or was it yesterday? It’s like how you refuse to say “Another Day” because that indifference got Braxton killed. But also, not all brunettes are created equal. Well, women for that matter, but again we’ll get there. Right now, as the title says, What Comes After B. There is nothing so far. Nothing? Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE Finishing, The Story of Us
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE Finishing Gathering, My Braxton’s Albums
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE Finishing Braxton’s Book For Camp NaNoWriMo
    Completed
  4. I WILL BE Keeping It In My Pants (Day 010 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
    Completed (Day 017 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

This will be the last time I average to hit three things on the list for quite a while. You? Ok, let’s get this out the way since it will keep nagging you. 17 Days is hard to “C.” Ha! Cock! I swear will it get easier or harder? Don’t answer that! But yours is driving you crazy. The first week is always the “hardest?” Over two weeks in and I hit one porn site. Clit, Coochie, Cunt… Things you won’t be getting for E-Day. It’s still far, hmm. Anyway, you should get ahold of the Day Job. With your words towards Cherry and M-Anime? Cum, isn’t happening anytime soon unless you get weak. Think of the worst thing that happened besides Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE Finishing, Until we Meet Again
  2. I WILL BE Finishing Gathering, My Braxton’s Albums
  3. I WILL BE Finishing Gulp Off To Be Published
  4. I WILL BE Keeping It In My Pants (Day 017 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE The Man My Son Thinks I Am

This should be easy since you’re not in the habit of finishing anything. Oh yeah, yourself and the occasional pretty girl. But what other things are you able to finish or get past? Not much. You see that the smallest things seem to stick around. Monkey on your back? B? Your whole world here once revolved around a girl… If that doesn’t sound all Incel. Looking back now, though. Again you can’t even remember being upset. Braxton’s memory will be a lot longer. Can you say eternity? So there is no after B. You’re here. Whenever you’re at the Day Job, that’s what you say. It’s the truth and then not. There’s always more to the story. More letters alphabet-wise. B? What Comes After B?

553 Days Without B III

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 030 ~Lying With Another B~

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If I had my way, it would be back to lying on the couch with a good book and my boy. It’s like I don’t have the balls to live this life, to even exist, and then I look down. Oh, right… and then there’s the bucks, broads, my book? Lying With Another B

Sunday, July 31, 2022

Saga 030 ~Lying With Another B~

To Will:
I AM a Billionaire right now. Hoping I didn’t invest in Sesame Place. Nobody wants to be them. You want to be you…

If anything, you want to be a goddamn adult, a grownup, a fucking man. If you could stop thinking about fucking every second. Pardon your language. But what’s your crime? Every day but Sundays in particular, you remember. B III is gone. Losing him again. That’s another story you’ll get to in a bit. So far today, you haven’t been honoring him. If you are on the floor, it’s only been to cut off the alarm and go back to sleep. What have you been dreaming of? Again we’ll get to that. But this week… fuck. You already hate it. It’s going to be like the week you lost your boy. Hard work and hating the whole damn universe. You’ll change it… Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE Finishing, The Power of Pets: 7 Effective Tools To Heal From…
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE Finishing Gathering, My Braxton’s Albums
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE Staying Ahead Of Camp NaNoWriMo
    Completed
  4. I WILL BE Keeping It In My Pants (Day 003 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
    Completed (Day 010 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

By some miracle, I pulled off three of these things. But to be specific, #4. Dammit, I haven’t been wearing pants except for the Day Job and Saturday. Yet somehow, I survived. It’s been touch and go. The only time I’ve touched my dick is during bathroom time. Hell! This morning as you continued to lounge around in bed. You fell back asleep. Your dream was like prostitution mixed with an episode of Glee. You keep hearing, “That’s the end of my hour, she’s bouncing/bobbing on that…” well, you know. Sang by all the characters as you woke up. Can’t even remember all of the girls flittering through your mind. All you know is the desire to go back to sleep before doing something STUPID or not… Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE Finishing, The Story of Us
  2. I WILL BE Finishing Gathering, My Braxton’s Albums
  3. I WILL BE Finishing Braxton’s Book For Camp NaNoWriMo
  4. I WILL BE Keeping It In My Pants (Day 010 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE The Man My Son Thinks I Am

Because it goes without saying that you will be finishing the novel today. “The Will To B III.” Yesterday was probably the hardest. And that’s counting those days when you got off your ass and wrote 5000 words. Well, 4600 to go into the novel anyway. But B III’s eulogy? You’re showing more empathy than me. I don’t expect I’ll be hearing from Cherry anytime soon due to my lack of concern for her mum. Yet you want to cry today, oh Braxton, my Braxton. When B passed, I don’t think I had a dream about him right off. Go without a phone one day? That’s fixed. Literally don’t fuck myself and dream of sex always. Being a BOY, bucks, books, Little B. No, rather be Lying With Another B.

546 Days Without B III

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 023 ~To B This Empty~

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My novel with B is halfway full, but my head is half empty. That’s a lie because what am I filling the other half with. Furbabies, forgetting about the Day Job (or trying to. And how effed up I am or my friends talking about it. Only To B This Empty.

Sunday, July 24, 2022

Saga 023 ~To B This Empty~

To Will:
I AM a Billionaire right now, meaning full of cash. What are you full of? Which monsters nurture your fear. Your mourning? Monday.

For all, that’s begun filling up this week. You know you’re empty of all the good in the world. And as I said yesterday, it starts with Braxton. Do you even have a container? I mean, a heart? No, that remains broken. A Republican ideology, harden all you know. Harden… Giggity, and you will get to that. Don’t have the power to resist temptation. Anyway, while you’re on the subject of power, should we talk about the phone battery. There’s the laptop battery that was ready to give you a heart attack? Pathetic! Hopeless! Now you can blame me for the fridge not being as full as it should be. So I’m no better. Yet if you want fullness, look at Little B’s yard today.

  1. I WILL BE Finishing, Blackout: A Thriller, Erin Flanagan
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE Finishing Gathering, My Braxton’s Albums
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE Staying Ahead Of Camp NaNoWriMo
    Completed
  4. I WILL BE Keeping It In My Pants (Day 003 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 003 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

Oh no! Ignore your son and go look at some Yabbos, right? When I looked at those addiction books yesterday and read about the symptoms. There are three things. Financial pain. How much do you pay for subscriber-wise or anything with sex, hmm? Then there’s the Day Job. This is more a confession for Echo. Jerking off before leaving. Then there’s family and friends. Besides, the indifference to this existence. That was a direct cause of Triple B’s death. Too much XXX while ignoring him. There are other friends. One immediately gives me a hard-on whenever she messages. Then there’s the one you were messaging this morning. You have all the respect in the world for women, but such horrific stories are actual turn-ons. Fuck!

  1. I WILL BE Finishing, The Power of Pets: 7 Effective Tools To Heal From…
  2. I WILL BE Finishing Gathering, My Braxton’s Albums
  3. I WILL BE Staying Ahead Of Camp NaNoWriMo
  4. I WILL BE Keeping It In My Pants (Day 003 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE The Man My Son Thinks I Am

Speaking of your hands being empty of your tallywhacker, or so you hope. (Sex brings such colorful language). What about Six Impossible Things? If that isn’t one book fail, ha. You continue to think about Blackout: A Thriller. For everything, it was about. It’s the thing that’s keeping you so grounded in fighting addiction. (cough) for three days (cough). Yeah right. And now you want to fill your mind with more pets dead and dying. Doesn’t it beat sex, though? Well, in America. Death is always more acceptable than sex. Anyway, it’s why you’re not reading erotica. Um… Succubus Lord audiobooks… Ten was my favorite, so you know. It’s a balancing act, being half full, half empty. That’s existence, that’s real. To B This Empty

539 Days Without B III

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 016 ~Today B The Day~

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4600 words today. Well, 2300 for me, and then I’ll let B III talk. Only he has paws. So as I told him that Sunday in January a year ago. “I’ll help you,” and look how great that turned out. For his life, Camp NaNoWriMo, my existence? Today B The Day.

Sunday, July 17, 2022

Saga 016 ~Today B The Day~

To Will:
I AM a Billionaire right now, but I don’t think you can expect anything… special, sexy, or super. God’s day? No, the Dog.

Of course, B III was never, just a dog. And that’s what you want everyone to know someday. Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow… But let me tell you something about today. I did not work my ass off all week for you to fuck up. Inevitably. Today’s the day. The day was 532 days ago, Sunday, January 31, 2021. How to save a life, my son B III ha. No, the day was Sunday, January 24, 2021. It was B III’s last week. As I hated the Day Job. I could go further than that. How many books have I “written,” and they sit here doing nothing like you want to do? Well, you didn’t fall back asleep. You won’t, right? Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE Finishing, Blackout: A Thriller (Possibly…)
    Failed
  2. I WILL BE Finishing Gathering, My Braxton’s Albums
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE Sending Gulp Off To Be Published
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE Keeping It In My Pants (Day 003 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 003 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

And yes, I failed every single one to get you here? One more reason you hate Sundays, right? An excellent chance to say, “Oh, I’ve Wasted My Life.” Um, mine for the week, you see. In a week, you’ll be saying the same thing. If writing has been of any use at all? It hasn’t. You will also return to the part of the story where you also wasted B III’s life. So ok, here we go. Fact! If you can write 5000 words… um 4600, You will be on your way. As the kids say, “FTW.” It doesn’t mean anything, really. Trying hard to avoid a Doctor’s visit. Ironic. That was my promise. But you’re, as I said. You are going to fuck it up wanting to, um, ok. What’s the word? FUCK! To be on Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE Finishing, Blackout: A Thriller, Erin Flanagan
  2. I WILL BE Finishing Gathering, My Braxton’s Albums
  3. I WILL BE Staying Ahead Of Camp NaNoWriMo
  4. I WILL BE Keeping It In My Pants (Day 003 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE The Man My Son Thinks I Am

So I’m “Beggin” you not to. And I don’t know why it’s even so important. Something I thought of Braxton while I cursed my Day Job. Every day should be the day to love him. Yet if you’re going to catch up with writing, with my work, and the word of God, that was Triple B. You know what you need to do. Treat today like the day he died. And write like every word is buying him a minute. Did they ever? As much as you want to believe another book… Remember, “My Turn To B III” would bring him back to life. If ever? Today B The Day.

532 Days Without B III

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 009 ~Don’t You B Dying~

WillLeave a comment

Of everything I told B III, did I ever say the words “don’t die?” He didn’t know any tricks, so he wouldn’t perform that one either. I don’t even listen to myself most days. And now I have a whole week of me, myself, and I. So, Don’t You B Dying

Sunday, July 10, 2022

Saga 009 ~ Don’t You B Dying~

To Will:
I AM a Billionaire right now, so don’t you be dying. It’s not that you haven’t seen the end before. But this week.

That’s right, you have a whole week, and already you’re starting off bad. It’s 5:10 AM, when you were supposed to get started at 4:00. As Braxton was dying at least… Was I about to say I was on time? How late was I? Hell! I didn’t sleep, but I was still spilling my guts out. Oh, don’t worry, we’ll get to that. Don’t worry? Can you focus, fucking work! That’s the important thing. The Day Job was killing me, and here you have time. “Time Enough At Last” to avoid such a fate; all you want to do is sleep and fucking jerk. What was it this morning now that it’s 6:00 AM? Another brunette, a British vixen? Because it’s not Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE Finishing The Title, All Dogs Are Good: Poems & Memories
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE Finishing Gathering, My Braxton’s Albums
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE Sending Gulp Off To Be Published
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE Keeping It In My Pants (Day 002 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 003 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

Don’t THEY say, find what you love and let it kill you? Every day but Sundays, for sure, you remember Braxton. It was his last day. You still don’t have the “balls to visit Banfield. You don’t have the guts to read that book “Blackout: A Thriller” by Erin Flanagan. Brings back the memory of “Stroke of Midnight.” I couldn’t continue with that at all. So write your own damn book. Again, it doesn’t look like you have the heart to continue with that. I know I didn’t Saturday, but we’ll get to that. Yeah, while you sit here propped up on pillows in the middle of the bed telling lies. “Endure and Survive.” Like holding Braxton saying he’ll live and other Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE Finishing Blackout: A Thriller (Possibly…)
  2. I WILL BE Finishing Gathering, My Braxton’s Albums
  3. I WILL BE Sending Gulp Off To Be Published
  4. I WILL BE Keeping It In My Pants (Day 003 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE The Man My Son Thinks I Am

Like I’m not dying, I’m not. Talk about dangerous words. When you’re committed to “such and such” a fate, you can feel a sense of euphoria. I know that yesterday, I was ready to rush to the doctor. Jigsaw said, “oh yes, there will be blood,” maybe cranberry juice. I’m hoping it was cranberry juice, and I haven’t seen any more signs of injury recently. Dying wasn’t in the cards when Triple B was here. Hell! I would have traded my life for his in a second, and I know you would do the same. But I didn’t want to die Saturday, and you shouldn’t play dead today. Lying on your back watching the angels sing, scream, and suck. Get up! Don’t You B Dying.

525 Days Without B III

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Gospel 220 ~Will’s Sound Of Silence~

WillLeave a comment

Is Braxton listening? How high’s the water bill just for refilling a bowl to sit there. Not wasting money on food as nobody needs to see me sobbing in the middle of Walmart. If it wasn’t for my madness, would I even speak? “Will’s Sound Of Silence.”

Saturday, February 6, 2021

Gospel 220 ~Will’s Sound Of Silence~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Billionaire right now, but not because I’m close to anything like Simon & Garfunkel. What does silence sound like?

Someone asked this on Ridiculousness. I’m surprised I remember that; it’s background noise because I’m still listening for Braxton. That’s the simplest answer I have, Lady Luna. A life with a dog and then keep living without them. Every day, keep going, on and on. Sobbing, screaming, up until the very end, I was praying. I have prayed, I mean really 3 times in my life. Only once for myself. Save him somehow, save my son, save my Braxton. Every time I left the house, I prayed continuously. Haven’t talked to God in 6 days. Seventh-day he rested if I know my Bible. Other books have become background as well without Braxton’s breaths, the beats of his heart. Even his bellyaching. Then he wasn’t eating.

Sucking up to me and dying. Showing such strength because Braxton didn’t want me to worry. I want to hear his paws on the floor again. The way he would lap up water and dive into food. Especially when he knew that there would be sharing Daddy’s sometimes. His “humpfs” Sleep came easier to the both of us. Well fuck, he protected me, and what did I do for him? I am not a liar, Lady Lu. I put him to “sleep?” No, I sleep when I can because when I wake up, I’m here without him. It’s 1 more second I have to live with what I’ve done. Murderer… say it again and again because he’s no longer here. Braxton, such was my goodness.

Sorry is all I hear now, which only makes the silence that much louder. The first day it was like the heavens opened up for my boy. Another day it was a choir. Then the “tryouts.” It’s been oh 6 days, I’m crying, my heart is cracking, breaking, shattering, yes. Selfish of me to put such suffering on others, isn’t it? I’m not blaming anyone but me. I’m the one who had to cover up his name because scammers, scum, and snakes came out of the woodwork. The one life I could turn to is the life that I ended. Braxton, I still talk to. Signs of my madness saying “Night, Night,” “Medicine Time, etc.

Because his quiet is too much. Will’s Sound of Silence.

I Will Have No Fear

Gospel 213 ~Will “B” Seeing You~

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Goodnight B, sweet dreams, I tell him like it’s any other night. I love you like pancakes, I say always. Now all I’m saying is “I’ll Help You” as I carry him around the house. I’m watching my son die… Will “B” Seeing You

Saturday, January 30, 2021

Gospel 213 ~Will “B” Seeing You~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Billionaire right now, and I would give it all up to save him. My Dæmon, my Imp, My Prince, My Firstborn Son, little B. Some things there are no words for. I’ve listened to the vets. I have read and studied what I can in this short time, looking for answers. Not one thing helps. What I can do is watch, wait, and be willing. It’s why I’m crying now as I can’t stand to look at him like this, but I’ll be damned if I turn away. I’ve said it before, I’ll say it now “Always and Forever.” I’ve said these four words twice “My Dog Is Dying.”

It’s called Renal Failure (Kidney Failure or Disease). Excuse my ignorance on the subject, but the toxins are filling up in his body. Without his kidneys, he can no longer filter out the bad stuff. It also means he doesn’t want to take the basics, like food and water. “I’ll help you” seems as worthless as if I’d written it down. It’s actions, always actions. I carry him to the bathroom. Sometimes I’ll put him in front of his bowls and beg for him to take something, anything. I let him outside, and he tries, but there’s nothing left. Banfield is trying. I swear if I didn’t think so, I’d go all “John Q,” but what can they do now? “Not yet,” I keep repeating to myself, NOT YET. If I could give my life for his, there wouldn’t even be a question. He’s my child, and my best friend.

“Sleep,” I say, petting him again and again, holding him, keeping him next to me as I write this. Well, in-between the crying fits and Youtube. You have to let go and let God. Accept it, brother. That’s what the dude said in John Q. B sleeping, euthanasia writing The End. The Rainbow Bridge… I’ve been reading up on that too. I can’t imagine Heaven; I never planned on seeing it but for my son? I want to be where he is. He struggles to live because he still sees me. If I could tell him there was such a place if I knew I could follow? “Daddy” has never left his mouth, but that’s what I am to him. The two of us, Father and son, it’s always been.

And every minute that passes by… Will “B” Seeing You

I Will Have No Fear

Gospel 101 ~Reinventing The Will SIGH~

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I suppose I should be grateful for yet another opportunity to change. As much s I would like to admit I had plans for today, cut to Pinterest and a bout of sickness. Over one and not the other. Can you guess? Reinventing The Will SIGH.

Saturday, October 10, 2020

Gospel 101 ~Reinventing The Will SIGH~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Billionaire right now, so add doctors to the list. Here I was shaking about the Coronavirus (COVID-19), but where have I spent the last few hours? Well, yeah, in bed, sleeping until 10 AM, but I should have enjoyed it. Let’s say for now God bless Sprite, which I always keep on hand. How sick was I? It all started when I took a little trip down to Pinterest way. A new email, a new Pinterest home, and the same mistakes. The only thing that keeps me 100% fearful is my “father.” He was doing a favor, killing me.

Woah! I hear you, Lady Lu, and I’m not getting into any Halloween celebrations quite yet. What I mean is, as the song goes, you “Make Me Wanna Die.” I’m not suicidal, but back then, every single time, it was because of him. Didn’t want his progeny living in fear. Speaking of which, before I screwed up this afternoon, I was running away from my phone. Now of all the terrors it holds, friendship shouldn’t be one. Oh baby, I love you, just leave me the (blank) alone. I swear with such and such texting me I’ll write a book. Only my stomach knew I had no such designs, and when I know I’m doing something wrong, it’s all “Down With The Sickness.” I swear I felt like crying, and I’ve been getting many of these days over and over.

My dreams aren’t exactly helping. I told M Anime that they serve as messages. So my “father” a million texts, and an upset stomach, but now visions. Yes, Lady Lu, I still see myself as a young man. Well, me and My Dæmon wise. Even he was worried about me. Anyway, while dreaming, I saw a Latino man sliding down a slip n’ slide or a waterslide. Trash was on both sides, and he was scared, but he kept sliding without any real control. Hell, I wish I could tell you more, but again I’m trying to be good. So why am I on Pinterest? I see the signs. And not only in my head Lady Lu. I’m wasting too much time on nothing. You know, maybe that’s it, something fun, but it’s all garbage. What about the character, hmm?

As always, I have to be better, but again I’m trying. Reinventing The Will SIGH

I Will Have No Fear

Gospel 094 ~Dying For The Will~

WillLeave a comment

I would kill for a nap right now, but why not for money, is that any better? At least when I’m sleeping, no one is being hurt fictionally or factually but didn’t my son wake me up yesterday. His heart problems… “Dying For The Will, where’s my heart?”

Saturday, October 3, 2020

Gospel 094 ~Dying For The Will~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Billionaire right now, and yet have no one to leave my fortune to. If I had the money, somewhere on the list would be how to make dogs live longer. Yesterday I brought up that the Dæmon and I had a bit of a scare. My son’s heart was working too hard, and my heart? It seems only when it’s breaking, is when I realize I have one at all. Every other time well… as you know, I commit many a sin, most based on FEAR. While not one of the seven deadly or nine circles a crime. But today, let’s talk about SLOTH.

THEY say it’s the most difficult sin to define, and like any disease it is, will or has killed me. Hell, if this was the Day Job we were talking about, I wouldn’t be complaining. Don’t I love writing? Wasn’t I almost on time today, 4:15 AM? Get up at 4:00 AM, 3:00 if ET. Dearest Lu, I don’t mean to be so down today. I’m a black man living in America. Even when we’re up, we’re down for the struggle, praying, or living the dream. I guess all those typing lessons in school didn’t take as I watch my fingers flying and son napping. However, I always know that I can do so much better for him. For us, but I might die right here on this couch someday because I neither want to do or try. Why is it every day I sound more like a Republican, but then again, I want to vote. Let’s say I’m inspired.

To what, help my country and indeed the world. Didn’t I talk about wearing masks and how I didn’t want anyone to die? If anything, I like the apocalyptic aesthetic. Well, it turns out that was false hmm as I watch people celebrate (you know who) get carted off for treatment. Only there’s no antidote for laziness, for Sloth. I wonder why are conversations take so long, Lady Luna, and it’s because I want everything to be perfect… Now again, isn’t that one more lie? My fingers and tongue have all the energy in the world to make up excuses. Of course, if this was the Day Job? Now that’s something I don’t want to lose. Yet here I am sitting, writing, I love it but Dying For The Will.

I Will Have No Fear

Looking Dim

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A month or so before a bad day, I know bad days are coming and I didn’t really want to say it back then or now; let’s just say it was like graduating high school, had nothing to do with me. Looking Dim, because the future wasn’t all that bright.

Aging in the black
Yet the light grows brighter
For life, I have no knack
My heart grew no lighter
The deck is stacked

So blow them out
So many candles
No name now
My vandals

A moment eyes closed
But their lips are wide
Think I don’t know
Teeth, fangs, and knives
I hope they choke

So knock them out
Feast of flesh
Smacking so loud
Why aren’t I dead yet

The dark sky
Shows all its victims
And who am I
But a cell in the system
No goodbye

So don’t look up
Can’t help but feel envy
I was never enough
Abomination, God murder me

Would you take my picture?
Make me famous
These vultures much richer
How I hope it’s painless
Suicide’s the pitcher

So don’t be in pictures
But the world will know
Maybe an itchy trigger finger
On with the show

Smoke and fire
Beats breathing
This light my desire
I should be leaving
Still, I won’t be admired

So don’t die
Rage, rage
Against the dying of the light
That you made

As you closed your eyes
The Abomination
Yet you wonder why
I chose such a sin
Finally in the light
That’s looking dim

Copyright © 2011, Will A. Bradford Jr. All rights reserved.