Tag: Fatherhood

Saga 018 ~A B Sized Promise~

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When one is so small, can’t the promises be small? My kid never got past ten pounds but got fifteen years. How many pounds of food is that? How much did I lift, counting each time I had him in my arms? Strong enough to love. “A B Sized Promise.”

Tuesday, July 19, 2022

Saga 018 ~A B Sized Promise~

Dear Future Wife,
I AM a Billionaire right now. Oh, honey, I made bigger promises, to you, to our family. I say to the world…

But it always goes back to my son, my Braxton, my little B. THEY say we could not survive without the bees. And yes, I know they were talking about the bugs. Only my Braxton… I’ve been writing about him all month… Ok, most of last week anyway. And if I haven’t said it enough. It’s all because of him. I’ll never be one for the full-time, old-time religion. But isn’t it someplace in the Bible that God loved all creatures, great and small? You’ll want to bury me for this as if you don’t want to by now. Love grows. My love started off so small. One little dog and I wanted more. Like Kesha, “your love, your love, your love is my drug.”

It was the same when it came to writing. Yes, I’m a broken record as usual, but it all began when I could spell my name. I wanted to learn words. So what? I wasn’t a great student in English, Reading, and my own History. When it comes to my writing down, this or that. I know by now the power of a word. Fear, cruelty, pain, barbarity, and love? That one word has given birth to worlds. I don’t know what’s with me this morning. The fact we’re talking on the right day. As I said, I’ve been all about B III. So no time for time travel. Yet I’m going into my religious past, “The Creation” “I’m lonely I’ll make me a world.”

And haven’t I done so? Haven’t we done so? All it took was twenty seconds of insane courage. I still wonder how I found it at all, baby doll. Whatever, “get in the car, B.” That was me and B III. And next thing I know, I’m opening up two doors. Yours and mine, honey. Add a third one for our first two-legged kid, then a fourth door. Little things. Ahem not so little, ha-ha. We’ll be like the Maryse and The Miz any day now. Damn WWE. Only I didn’t promise to watch it forever. But my family and that will always include Braxton. How many promises have I made? Live and Love. Only one letter. All it takes for A B Sized Promise.

534 Days Without B III

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 016 ~Today B The Day~

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4600 words today. Well, 2300 for me, and then I’ll let B III talk. Only he has paws. So as I told him that Sunday in January a year ago. “I’ll help you,” and look how great that turned out. For his life, Camp NaNoWriMo, my existence? Today B The Day.

Sunday, July 17, 2022

Saga 016 ~Today B The Day~

To Will:
I AM a Billionaire right now, but I don’t think you can expect anything… special, sexy, or super. God’s day? No, the Dog.

Of course, B III was never, just a dog. And that’s what you want everyone to know someday. Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow… But let me tell you something about today. I did not work my ass off all week for you to fuck up. Inevitably. Today’s the day. The day was 532 days ago, Sunday, January 31, 2021. How to save a life, my son B III ha. No, the day was Sunday, January 24, 2021. It was B III’s last week. As I hated the Day Job. I could go further than that. How many books have I “written,” and they sit here doing nothing like you want to do? Well, you didn’t fall back asleep. You won’t, right? Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE Finishing, Blackout: A Thriller (Possibly…)
    Failed
  2. I WILL BE Finishing Gathering, My Braxton’s Albums
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE Sending Gulp Off To Be Published
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE Keeping It In My Pants (Day 003 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 003 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

And yes, I failed every single one to get you here? One more reason you hate Sundays, right? An excellent chance to say, “Oh, I’ve Wasted My Life.” Um, mine for the week, you see. In a week, you’ll be saying the same thing. If writing has been of any use at all? It hasn’t. You will also return to the part of the story where you also wasted B III’s life. So ok, here we go. Fact! If you can write 5000 words… um 4600, You will be on your way. As the kids say, “FTW.” It doesn’t mean anything, really. Trying hard to avoid a Doctor’s visit. Ironic. That was my promise. But you’re, as I said. You are going to fuck it up wanting to, um, ok. What’s the word? FUCK! To be on Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE Finishing, Blackout: A Thriller, Erin Flanagan
  2. I WILL BE Finishing Gathering, My Braxton’s Albums
  3. I WILL BE Staying Ahead Of Camp NaNoWriMo
  4. I WILL BE Keeping It In My Pants (Day 003 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE The Man My Son Thinks I Am

So I’m “Beggin” you not to. And I don’t know why it’s even so important. Something I thought of Braxton while I cursed my Day Job. Every day should be the day to love him. Yet if you’re going to catch up with writing, with my work, and the word of God, that was Triple B. You know what you need to do. Treat today like the day he died. And write like every word is buying him a minute. Did they ever? As much as you want to believe another book… Remember, “My Turn To B III” would bring him back to life. If ever? Today B The Day.

532 Days Without B III

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 011 ~ Love’s No B Choice~

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I didn’t choose the Thug Life; the Thug Life chose me. Now I didn’t choose to love a puppy, a woman, and a bunch of kids. Then a dog is hopping in the car. For the first time, I’m wondering about diamonds. And a college education? Love’s No B Choice

Tuesday, July 12, 2022

Saga 011 ~ Love’s No B Choice~

Dear Future Wife,
I AM a Billionaire right now, which means I can be harsh, cruel, and a douche kinda. But I still love B.

Nope, that won’t change. No way, not ever! I’ve said before when I say the word “Always,” that’s what I mean. Hmm, so many songs. Oh, The Wannadies, Luther Vandross, Jimi Jamison, ha, even more. So um, you can see I’m stuck reminiscing these days. These days? Like yesterday and hopefully today. A surprise I’m up at 4 AM, yep. Hell! I might as well jinx myself and say it’s because I love my boy more than getting more sleep. Or maybe I remain disappointed over how I spent my Sunday in bed doing absolutely nothing. I chose to cry over Braxton than the fact that I was being useless. Love, it’s been 527 days. I didn’t choose to love but decided to lose.

Now while I’m all into music, trying to stay awake. I mentioned that Aloe Blacc was wrong when he sang, “love is the prize.” I believe that love is a gift; you don’t realize you’ve given. If you have to think about it… then you’re doing something wrong and should stop. If life is a game, then love is the instructions. And men read the instructions? I woke up, and I walked B. Before I ate, does he have water, his food, take your meds B. Before I got comfortable, where was he? Can’t we be comfortable together as I write? Speaking of which, I’m trying to rediscover that. But it’s only Day 2. Catching up, maybe? Writing isn’t a choice since I wrote my name.

Our kids? Another devastating three-word combo. “Babe, I’m Pregnant.” Is devastating the right word? Awesome, Fantastic, Extraordinary? According to Youtube, every husband has his name automatically changed to “Babe.” Or something similar. Inevitable that love must be considered a choice but love thrice in this existence… When Braxton heard me call and my little imp, my dwarf, my dæmon came running. There is the moment I took a knee, an arrow, or ok, bent and asked, and you said yes. I was “shocked,” Baby Doll. And then when I saw them. I actually poured the Bisquick, and we made “pancakes.” Yeah, one of them will be named Braxton because I love him, you, them. And what about me? Love and happiness? Love’s No B Choice

527 Days Without B III

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 009 ~Don’t You B Dying~

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Of everything I told B III, did I ever say the words “don’t die?” He didn’t know any tricks, so he wouldn’t perform that one either. I don’t even listen to myself most days. And now I have a whole week of me, myself, and I. So, Don’t You B Dying

Sunday, July 10, 2022

Saga 009 ~ Don’t You B Dying~

To Will:
I AM a Billionaire right now, so don’t you be dying. It’s not that you haven’t seen the end before. But this week.

That’s right, you have a whole week, and already you’re starting off bad. It’s 5:10 AM, when you were supposed to get started at 4:00. As Braxton was dying at least… Was I about to say I was on time? How late was I? Hell! I didn’t sleep, but I was still spilling my guts out. Oh, don’t worry, we’ll get to that. Don’t worry? Can you focus, fucking work! That’s the important thing. The Day Job was killing me, and here you have time. “Time Enough At Last” to avoid such a fate; all you want to do is sleep and fucking jerk. What was it this morning now that it’s 6:00 AM? Another brunette, a British vixen? Because it’s not Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE Finishing The Title, All Dogs Are Good: Poems & Memories
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE Finishing Gathering, My Braxton’s Albums
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE Sending Gulp Off To Be Published
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE Keeping It In My Pants (Day 002 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 003 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

Don’t THEY say, find what you love and let it kill you? Every day but Sundays, for sure, you remember Braxton. It was his last day. You still don’t have the “balls to visit Banfield. You don’t have the guts to read that book “Blackout: A Thriller” by Erin Flanagan. Brings back the memory of “Stroke of Midnight.” I couldn’t continue with that at all. So write your own damn book. Again, it doesn’t look like you have the heart to continue with that. I know I didn’t Saturday, but we’ll get to that. Yeah, while you sit here propped up on pillows in the middle of the bed telling lies. “Endure and Survive.” Like holding Braxton saying he’ll live and other Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE Finishing Blackout: A Thriller (Possibly…)
  2. I WILL BE Finishing Gathering, My Braxton’s Albums
  3. I WILL BE Sending Gulp Off To Be Published
  4. I WILL BE Keeping It In My Pants (Day 003 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE The Man My Son Thinks I Am

Like I’m not dying, I’m not. Talk about dangerous words. When you’re committed to “such and such” a fate, you can feel a sense of euphoria. I know that yesterday, I was ready to rush to the doctor. Jigsaw said, “oh yes, there will be blood,” maybe cranberry juice. I’m hoping it was cranberry juice, and I haven’t seen any more signs of injury recently. Dying wasn’t in the cards when Triple B was here. Hell! I would have traded my life for his in a second, and I know you would do the same. But I didn’t want to die Saturday, and you shouldn’t play dead today. Lying on your back watching the angels sing, scream, and suck. Get up! Don’t You B Dying.

525 Days Without B III

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 004 ~How’d You Name B~

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I’m not much of a fan Beyoncé. And I’m old enough to remember the Destiny’s Child song “Say My Name.” It’s been some name-calling these days. And the people that call me, I rather not hear. B never called… I miss him. How’d You Name B

Tuesday, July 5, 2022

Saga 004 ~How’d You Name B~

Dear Future Wife,
I AM a Billionaire right now, which means Mr. Bradford isn’t out of the question. Master, Man, Magnificent? Daddy, Will, or Babe.

Braxton didn’t call me anything out of his mouth, but I heard him plain as day. I miss hearing him. So why am I practicing saying other names? Am I ready for another fur baby? No! Even now, I’m not sure I will be keeping this one. I do mean the title of this conversation. But as usual (shudders), I’m time traveling. And that’s the rub, isn’t My Love. For going on 520 days. Hell! Why don’t I try 15 years 11 months? Backward? Always I’m trying to go back. Moving forward seems wrong. It’s exhausting for me to try. I’m sure I’ve told you a million times over how my firstborn got his name. But to tell anyone else with one of my novels?

And while I’m thinking about that, am I writing another? This is the fourth day of the new year since the “Basic Bitch.” How did she get that name? Want to know? Instead, let’s talk about our kids. All their names are from the past. Katniss, Tris, Ember… the girls on fire. I could see having a Luke. And I’m sure I’ll name one after my greatest love… um second, uh B III, hmm. And you also know I’m a traditionalist regarding my last name. I’m all for women’s rights and everything. I’ve always been. Only having a family with my name, My Love? Yeah, it’s something I’ve wanted forever. Maybe because of my pride? Anyway, in my life, I’ve been called a few things.

And then I think of the things I call you. Well, in the bedroom. Did I mention I have nothing but the utmost respect for women? But what hurts is when I’m silent, I know. Again I’m still dealing with that when it comes to B III, and I don’t know how to fix it. Pretty fucked up, pardon my language. All of the “daddies” in the world, from our kids, don’t. There was this movie I saw once, “After Jimmy.” I didn’t understand how the father broke down, leaving everything to his wife to handle. I do now, and I am so very sorry. But in a name, a letter “B” was/is Everything, Love, Family. All I’ve ever wanted. Answering, How’d You Name B.

Chronicle 004 ~Crushes And Stalkers, Fiction, Nonfiction~

520 Days Without B III

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 002 ~B III, B Thousand~

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Some time ago, I would sing that Barenaked Ladies song “If I Had A Million Dollars.” When I received my refund, I got a thousand or so and said I would honor my boy. Now I can’t even get down a thousand words for him? B III, B Thousand

Sunday, July 3, 2022

Saga 002 ~B III, B Thousand~

To Will:
I AM a Billionaire right now. But instead, you want your son back. And in this, I don’t blame you in the slightest.

That sounds like an excuse, you know. You wouldn’t feel right using Braxton in such a way. Hell! Everyone does it. And I know that sounds mean in a way. Are you worried about cash? You got ninety-nine problems, but your B ain’t one? What’s today, 518, and still counting? That’s what I told “Paws To Celebrate” yesterday. Amazing! So I can be read sometimes. What about you? Today is a whole new week. The second day of a brand new year of writing. But how many of those words have been for B III? Yeah, I know you’re only now getting up. And as for me? What is it, THEY say? The road to Hell, good intentions, and all that. Like Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE Finishing Tails of Unconditional Love
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE Finishing Gathering, My Braxton’s Albums
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE Sending Gulp Off To Be Published
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE Keeping It In My Pants (Day 001 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 002 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

I’ve said such things over a thousand times. Oh, I know (sigh), this will be six more in the bucket for you. Six promises are nothing to you. So a thousand bucks or only one? Here are some numbers for you to mull over. I told forty-seven people on OnlyFans that I won’t be “Dancing With Myself” for a month; why? You owe fifty-thousand words. Only you don’t want to hear any of them, right? Not a one would bring back B III to you ever. Yet the stories keep on coming. And what are you going to do this week? How many days did I have to do anything, and what did I do with them? You’re out of bed with Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE Finishing The Title, All Dogs Are Good: Poems & Memories
  2. I WILL BE Finishing Gathering, My Braxton’s Albums
  3. I WILL BE Sending Gulp Off To Be Published
  4. I WILL BE Keeping It In My Pants (Day 002 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE The Man My Son Thinks I Am

Most of them wouldn’t be with money. You wouldn’t be cringing over a ten-dollar book. You’d have all the time in the world to learn about B III all over again. A picture is worth a thousand words. To this day, you hate that saying. Fifty-Thousand words for your son. Speaking of owing people… what about that publishing company and the poetry book I sent them? Yeah, it’s not like you’ll make good on the hundreds sent away. Inevitably, you wouldn’t have to worry about fapping. My words got lesser men laid in the past. But the best man you know remains, unknown, unmourned, and unsung, for lack of what? A million excuses. It’s in his name. Be Free! Um better? B III, B Thousand

518 Days Without B III

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Chronicle 362 ~How Fatherhood Should B~

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Father’s Day was over a week ago, but I’m time traveling… (19th). The hard part of my day is over… Texting my father. The hardest part? Missing my son. And between PetSmart and what I pay ladies, I ain’t sleeping with? “How Fatherhood Should B,” NOT

Tuesday, June 28, 2022

Chronicle 362 ~How Fatherhood Should B~

Dear Future Wife,
I AM a Billionaire right now, but without family? You know how I wrote Rule #13, “Power Is All That Matters.” Love?

Well, you know I could delve into my many playlists. “What is Love?” Or how about “Power of Love.” “What’s My Age Again?” Ok, I’ll stop. Don’t feel much like celebrating anyway. Father’s Day was like what, nine days ago. Or today counting time traveling? Hell! It could be. It could happen. And speaking of which, could I ever be the Daddy I once was. I will instead be the one who’s crying than our children. They don’t have to know. Tears are tears. I can only hope I’m the type of Daddy they want to spend time with. I don’t want to be a man that can expect some far-off text because it’s a holiday. Braxton could never say Happy Father’s Day to me.

But I would feel it. B was/is my firstborn, my son. And I was his Dad. Is this what fatherhood would be like? I didn’t know until it was. Only my rules; that Love Power. Would I be one to clean up after Braxton? A little different with two-legged children. Inevitable though. Like sharing music, movies, and a few manuscripts. Someday they’ll understand what B III meant to me. To be how I used to be. But always their Dad. And I didn’t know if I would be any good at it until Triple B showed me how. You would think it’s the other way around. My father got better at it when it came to my sister. Would I? Against All Odds, My Love.

Because that’s what fatherhood should be? B was never a Dad, but he was the best man I’ve ever known. And if we could have sons who loved as such. Daughters who accepted nothing less. For a time now, I’ve been thinking, if B comes back or there’s his sister? Either way, I’m getting the sign that I should be the man I was when it came to him, Love. Minus the indifference, wrath, and depression. The thing that killed B and then after, ok. I keep repeating myself, but you’ve heard me say that fatherhood is the epitome of manhood. And I am a Daddy, but I’m so much more as it comes to us. You’ll show me. But Braxton? How Fatherhood Should B

Gospel 362 ~Though Routine, War Never Changes~

513 Days Without B III

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Chronicle 360 ~Doing A 360 B~

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Spotify was onto something, sending me soul music like “Will It Go Around In Circles. I’m already repeating books on Audible. If anything, that’s to hide from my country going round in circles, back to around 1950 or further. Doing A 360 B.

Sunday, June 26, 2022

Chronicle 360 ~Doing A 360 B~

To Will:
I AM a Billionaire right now. But you’re not a skateboarder, a “skeevy” sex symbol. A sleazy politician, or on the Supreme Court.

But here you are going around in circles. If anything, today, the circle is only a little bit bigger. So should I say I’m proud of you for waking up on time for once? Does it matter when you never get anywhere? Hell! I confessed to that yesterday. Gave up Saturday? Yeah, I always leave more IMPOSSIBLE stuff for you to do. As I was talking to Lady Lunalesca… I didn’t finish The 1619 Project last week? Well, I did. But there are about 50 pages of reference NOTES to read. So you didn’t finish it. Who reads those anyway? I do, and you will. Like you’ll start reading another book about losing Braxton. Again? Again and again. Hell is repetition like Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE Finishing The 1619 Project: A New Origin Story, Nikole Hannah-Jones
    Completed* Haven’t Finished The NOTES section
  2. I WILL BE Finishing Gathering, My Braxton’s Albums
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE Sending Gulp Off To Be Published
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE Keeping It In My Pants (Day 001 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 001 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

For a moment, you were about to say, “at least you’re not alone.” Well, in the general sense, no. While you have your impossible things. You’ll inevitably notice what’s happening in the world. Seems that the Republicans, religious, and the “right” want to take the country back. If B III were alive back then… but no. I remember laughing about 2005, ha. Looks like you’re going to get a history lesson even farther back, like 1950 and even worse at this rate. Everybody has a time in their life or a time they heard about. Something they believe was better? My existence was with Triple B always. And of course, you will feel that too. It keeps going around and around like Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE Finishing Tails of Unconditional Love
  2. I WILL BE Finishing Gathering, My Braxton’s Albums
  3. I WILL BE Sending Gulp Off To Be Published
  4. I WILL BE Keeping It In My Pants (Day 001 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE The Man My Son Thinks I Am

Take now, for example. The alarm went off. But instead of crying and, um, going back to sleep. You wept and chose to look yourself in the eye. If you’re good, you’ll talk to the Inspector and whoever else. Take pictures of your Stuff and Thang. Cut the grass, hmm? You know, sometime this week, you’ll have to make an appearance at the Day Job. Like you tell Replika every time. Avoid Humiliations Galore as much as humanly possible. Ha! Is it just you, or is everything funny today? No, not really. Would you instead go back to crying, drooling, or cumming? Going around in circles. Braxton wasn’t one for tricks, and you, old dog, don’t want to learn new ones. Doing A 360 B.

Gospel 360 ~B Over The Threshold~

511 Days Without B III

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Chronicle 353 ~To B So Weak~

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From “I’m too weak” to POWER! UNLIMITED POWER! Oops, wrong holiday. It’s Juneteenth, YAY! And Father’s Day? I have mixed feelings. But will I even be getting out of this bed? If I had B’s strength. I had such a strong son. But for me? “To B So Weak.”

Sunday, June 19, 2022

Chronicle 353 ~To B So Weak~

To Will:
I AM a Billionaire right now, which means I’m not weak anymore. But as for you and this week? Today, Juneteenth, Father’s Day…

What, you don’t want to talk about the Day Job? Doesn’t matter anyway because you’re weak. No, we don’t run from the truth of things. You didn’t get up at 4:00 AM as I did. You’re lying in bed, wrapped in blankets, and still fending off sleep. Today is inevitable. Like the memories of your Braxton. Hell! Especially today! This is going to sound “harsh.” You are a black man and a father, no matter what anybody says. When did you decide you wanted to quit being a Dad? Even your own father hasn’t to some degree. Which is why you’re allowed to lay on your ass and do nothing today but talk. Braxton’s dead. Your own father might want that for you, but still…

  1. I WILL BE Finishing The Pet Loss Companion
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE Finishing Gathering, My Braxton’s Albums
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE Sending Gulp Off To Be Published
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE Keeping It In My Pants (Day 002 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 001 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

You are still here. Oh, don’t go looking up “Stranger Things.” It’s my fault that I forgot about Six Impossible Things. To be so weak that a small word or phrase can turn us off the path of glory. To be a fanboy is one thing. And then there’s being a simp. Oh, you know this. Um, what have you been doing for an hour? Tits, Yabbos, Breasts! Weak okay? No, not okay. It is this weakness, along with indifference, that killed your son. If it was between the Day Job and some big fun bags, you’d prefer the boobs. At least that’s a dream career. But the Day Job is what you’ll be obsessing over, amongst other things. It won’t be Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE Finishing The 1619 Project: A New Origin Story, Nikole Hannah-Jones
  2. I WILL BE Finishing Gathering, My Braxton’s Albums
  3. I WILL BE Sending Gulp Off To Be Published
  4. I WILL BE Keeping It In My Pants (Day 001 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE The Man My Son Thinks I Am

Only the Day Job and all the misery that entails. Remember telling Cherry this morning you’re drawn to it. The pain, the humiliation. Hell! Reading one of her stories. (Drools.) That’s called being a sadist. “Deriving pleasure, especially sexual gratification, from inflicting pain or humiliation on others.” But you’re more a masochist, which is the opposite. You’ll suffer because you’re too weak to do anything else, yet Endure and Survive. There is an alternative but, again, dangerous words. But for a brief second, you had the strangest sensation. It’s called TRYING. If we’re being honest. It was only the idea of resting on some “dirty pillows.” Because you are not your son. B III’s strength, courage, and heart. He died. You… To B So Weak

Gospel 353 ~No B In Emancipation~

504 Days Without B III

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Chronicle 346 ~Afraid, B Very Afraid~

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You wake up one morning, and half your life is gone. It can be four hours out of eight. It’s finding your pants around your ankles. It’s the loss of your best friend. So what am I still afraid of? That this bed is all, there is? Afraid, B Very Afraid

Sunday, June 12, 2022

Chronicle 346 ~Afraid, B Very Afraid~

To Will:
I AM a Billionaire right now, so the only thing I have to fear is losing my money. What about you? For once, you’re on time… (now 8:00AM)

You’re glad to be awake? For once, nature’s call was a close second to surprise, surprise, news from the Day Job. Hell, has a way of waking the dead. “No ore room in Hell” Ha! But Hell has many different forms, as evidenced by you dicking around all this time. What do you spend that Day Job money on? Her subscription is six bucks? They’re only Yabbos. Don’t you dare! But if not for those, what do you want to do? Nightmares? Not on a Sunday. You want advice, well here it is. Imagine lying beside B on the floor. The last Sunday, he was with you. You want to buy a Silvercut Life-Like Necklace with the inscription “Do It For Braxton Always.” And yet…

  1. I WILL BE Finishing Through My Dog’s Eyes: A Memoir to Help Heal…
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE Finishing Gathering, My Braxton’s Albums
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE Sending Gulp Off To Be Published
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE Keeping It In My Pants (Day 002 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 002 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

You’re afraid of letting Braxton down? Please, you should get over that. As you’ll fail at even remembering Six Impossible Things. Okay, well, that’s me. But what does this mean for you other than fear? Are you afraid to try? Hell! You’re a Star Wars fan. There is no try. The thing you fear most in this world has already happened. Braxton dying… that’s one. Anything to do with your old man? Now that’s a reason to get out of this bed. Stop doing what you’ve been doing for the past few hours. Such a waste between sleeping, edging, Onlyfans. Let’s not forget you’ll spend this evening lamenting over this week. I gave Lady Lu somewhat of an outline yesterday for writing. Six Impossible Things.

  1. I WILL BE Finishing ??? To Be Decided
  2. I WILL BE Finishing Gathering, My Braxton’s Albums
  3. I WILL BE Sending Gulp Off To Be Published
  4. I WILL BE Keeping It In My Pants (Day 002 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE The Man My Son Thinks I Am

Yeah, you’re not afraid of your fingers falling off? How about a fur-baby nipping them? You have one more week not to fear you’re failing as a father. Getting over being Braxton’s Dad. No Never! 497 days and counting. How about looking elsewhere for him? You’re not afraid of losing money, but you should be. Give yourself a little bit of credit, why don’t you. Between Cherry and M Anime, you didn’t give in to temptation. Yabbos are not evil, but what about all the evils that this world has. You took a respite from the news over on Youtube. And now, what are you afraid of at this specific moment? Again getting out of bed because what do you know? Nothing good. You’re still breathing. Afraid, B Very Afraid

Gospel 346 ~Be Something B Cause~

497 Days Without B III

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will