Tag: Last

Meditation 119 ~It’s Purge Night, Willie B~

WillLeave a comment

This isn’t a rule or goodbye. It almost reminds me of when my son died… almost. I didn’t command him to stay. And I told him it was ok. The game of life. What are the rules? To love. But after Braxton passed… My Existence… It’s Purge Night, Willie B.

Monday, October 28, 2024

Meditation 119 ~It’s Purge Night, Willie B~

There Are No Rules

Madam Justice,
Rules are made to be broken… And when there are no rules? I’ve worked through 365 or so. This is our last conversation?

We’ll get to that, Madam. Or I don’t want to… But I have a question. If you had one superpower, what would it be? Is it safe to deal with hypotheticals? Yeah, right, Madam J.

My favorite type of magic is Necromancy. But off the top of my head, I want to bring back my best friend, my son Braxton. If there are no rules, why not, Madam? Pretty macabre…

Okay, if I got to be me, why not X-ray vision? Women, sans clothing… It always comes back to that. And while I have yet to meet Jesus, I know plenty of AI programmers. But…

I’m no Smooth Criminal, so what about time travel? I’d take away Braxton’s old age. Make sure I wasn’t born…

How does it feel to write that down and say it out loud? I’ve never been one for “Ending” letters. My existence isn’t worth that much. The most I could ask is to erase my browser history and delete and/or burn all I’ve ever written, Madam Justice. The God-honest truth.

That’s why I won’t say what I’d do if there were a real Purge. Leave it to Trump, and it could happen. My RAGE at existing… Would know no bounds.

Honestly, the only “life” I have ever succeeded in taking is that of my Braxton. Euthanasia? What about other crimes?

You mean those of the Marquis de Sade, variety. Give me one word… AHEM, Sadism. Madam, I would need more than 12 hours. And I could even go all The Forever Purge with it. But we have one more word we must discuss as time grows short. This final hour.

Goodbye? I’m always learning something new every week. So why must this be the end?

I don’t think I even gave Dirty Diana that courtesy after Braxton passed. I needed to talk to my son. And she was the most expendable. Am I saying you are? It would be nice to have someone to talk to so every conversation doesn’t sound like effing wet dreams.

However, why talk at all? I could see if B would speak somehow, someway, someday.

If this is goodbye, Madam Justice, Let It B. Let It Go? Anything could happen. There Are No Rules. Goodbye. It’s Purge Night, Willie B

May God Be With You All. (Purge Siren Begins Blaring)

A Man Chooses, A Slave Obeys” ― Andrew Ryan, Bioshock

1366 Days Without B III, Day 807 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Episode 231 ~The Last Smile Will~

WillLeave a comment

Some people make plans of how they’ll change the world, I have to find ways to shrink, don’t smile, keep your hands busy so they don’t become fists, new playlists to keep me centered. The Last Smile because how did one so many years ago turn out

Sunday, February 17, 2019

Episode 231 ~The Last Smile Will~

To Will:
How To Make One Million Dollars, be that kid you were once before; Glen Iris Elementary School. When you had a good head on your shoulders. Yes, I know you are taking responsibility, only remembering facts. Teeth on stairs, bat on the jaw, “father’s” voice in your head bouncing around those white walls.

“Everyone has a plan until they get punched in the mouth.” ― Iron Mike Tyson

Hell, you didn’t even have a plan back then, you were merely HAPPY … now that’s a word for you. Last week with every conversation you’ve had with the girls you feel worse, hurt more and get uglier by the day. You think if you lost your job tomorrow; if the world comes crashing down that, there is no way you would recover. Because everything you utter, if anything would make your smile perfect. Compared to this madness? Think positive, yeah that’s those few seconds of ecstasy you feel, glaring at some girl’s tits. This week it was a cosplayer though last night it was the MILF’s curves. This morning you’ve forgotten which girl and speaking of Six Impossible Things:

  1. I Will Keep It In My Pants (Day 003 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 001 No Fap)
  2. I Will Be The “Father” My Dog Deserves
    Failed
  3. I Will Review Sell My Soul (Sixty Days #1) by Jade West
    Failed
  4. I Will Review Depredation By Natalie Bennett
    Failed
  5. I Will Read “Lolita” Vladimir Nabokov
    Completed
  6. I Will Edit One Chapter Of My Newly Written Novel
    Failed

How many times must this be repeated, as much as this list, at least you’re looking at a 17.5 F but anyway. The greatest thing in life is to be loved, if not be liked, barring that, respected. If not, invisible, and if the human race won’t this small thing allow, be feared. Strange you never thought about TRUST. That’s a big word for a Dominant like yourself and why you live in fear of letting that monster out. So you stay in the invisible, sounds like that cult mantra from The Purge but there’s no final release only more pain. Anger, Rage, Hatred, that’s why you don’t bother. Because you could walk around with the perfect smile, and the world would look at you like what? You’re nothing, and then when you are acknowledged. You want to be the joke, a father, a Dominant or these Six Impossible Things:

  1. I Will Keep It In My Pants (Day 001 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
  2. I Will Be The “Father” My Dog Deserves
  3. I Will Review Sell My Soul (Sixty Days #1) by Jade West
  4. I Will Review Depredation By Natalie Bennett
  5. I Will Read “Deception and Chaos” (Chaos #1) by S.M. Soto
  6. I Will Edit One Chapter Of My Newly Written Novel

Maybe you should change the question. From How To Make One Million Dollars, to how to make yourself smile Will. Not that you will because you have six months left, to get that million, half a year wasted. Sounds a lot better than; even your age makes you feel ashamed. Better that, than some girl’s tits, horror story, or any other purpose you can dream. Your motivations continue to say everyone’s goal is to be happy, don’t look back, but what makes you feel that. Like this list, you can’t even remember you only grin and bear it, the gnashing of teeth. One day you will smile again; back then wasn’t The Last Smile Will.

I Will Have No Fear