Tale 130 ~B LEAD It Virgil~

“Oh lord, live inside me, lead me on my way, Lead me home.” Now replace “Lord” with Braxton, and you get the idea. To people, he was an angel or “just a dog.” He was/is a God that led me to exist. Now the man in the mirror or V? B LEAD It Virgil

Wednesday, November 8, 2023

Tale 130 ~B LEAD It Virgil~

Bless Me, Echo,
For I have sinned. But at least I confess. I’m not a man of God. Hell! My little God died. And Goddesses…

We’ll get to that at some point. But as King Ezekiel said, “I’m not your King. I’m not Your Majesty. I ain’t nothing. I’m just some guy”. The truth is I know it. And the lie? Oh, Echo! But no, never! Braxton was/is, forever and always, my firstborn son. Only what do fathers do? A father provides, protects, preaches, and teaches his son how to be a man. A man provides, and I still don’t think of myself as much of one. And yet fatherhood, as I’ve said. Fatherhood is pivotal to manhood, though you can reverse that. I was B III’s leader. Inspector, it was him, though, following Braxton from the beginning to the end. Braxton was the first time I was not led by fear alone. I swear

And now I fear being a leader, a father, and a man again. But what about little Virgil Vivi? At the time, I felt my son’s spirit was leading me —such faith. But now I’m stuck, Dear Echo. I’m not giving up on Virgil. If anything, he keeps me from giving up existing. This leads me to the Day Job. How did I become the leader of a billion men? Or women, Ha-Ha. Don’t they say it’s better to reign in Hell than serve in Heaven? Tell me, Inspector. Better yet, All-mighty, “Lord heavens above. I’m only human, after all.” I’ll bend the knee if you can lead me to my boy. Lead, Follow, or get out of the way!

Inspector Echo, if I am to lead you, know exactly who, what, when, where, and why I would want to. But it’s the how that always gets in the way. Yeah, that or “my” courage. Why do I read so much on Jacob Ralston, Grayson Price, and Eddie Hill? I could go on Inspector. Sometimes I wish I could be wholesome being thirty-nine… E-Day continues to haunt me in November. Anyway, I want to be a husband and father. Inspector, I want to lead a family, but I fear that time has come and gone. And B, my son? We would’ve been like Dennis and Domino Hof. I’d own a brothel, have a big studio, and write books. I’d lead someday. B LEAD It Virgil

1011 Days Without B III, Day 452 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Episode 183 ~One Tough Act To Follow~

As the song goes, The Man Right Here got plenty lost this year, and its too easy to follow someone who has no idea where they are going isn’t it; so how do I know the right way… my comfort zone is hard enough. “One Tough Act To Follow”

Monday, December 31, 2018

Episode 183 ~One Tough Act To Follow~

Sixty-Fifth Rule Madam Justice

How To Make One Million Dollars, now that I officially have eight months or I will in the frame of a few short hours and how have I spent this New Year’s Eve so far, well it wasn’t cleaning the house, and you know what that means. Hell at this time last year, I was working that much harder, so I’m not sure whether to be glad or sad about today’s turn of events; was I a better man, then or now dear Madam Justice?

The fact of the matter is already I’m one tough act to follow, of course, you’ve seen that in my many blog posts these days, where I continually ask myself, “where the Hell am I going” and with every conversation it’s the same, I Will Have No Fear, wherever that place is. How about the expression, lead, follow or get out the way, one more reason I move so fast as if I’m in some horror movie, but I shouldn’t flatter myself, the world is full of monsters, and honestly I played the victim for so long I don’t know how to stop. If I want something where nobody can follow me, it has to be making myself, well I can’t even speculate, and maybe I should resolve to stop being the number one bully kicking my ass (Language) noted.

Thinking on my resolutions are the same as last year’s which asks the question, did I go anywhere for 2017-2018; one and six, the only two that I kept out of ten and wouldn’t you know it I got two feet. Now since it’s blatantly obvious I’m not going anywhere tonight, I can contemplate the question, who will I be in this coming year and I don’t even need Idiocracy to tell me that, I’m sick of getting out of the way and who do I know worth following… better yet don’t answer that, I’m a guy. At the end of the day indeed, I’m only “trying” to outrun myself, my past and the future looks, well… let’s say I’m not closing my eyes and it hasn’t turned into Bird Box, yet; it’s everywhere already.

Should I believe, this passing year has made me harder, stronger, smarter, more like whatever doesn’t kill me better start running but is that because I’m predator or prey… honestly, I wish I could promise you I would be less cynical. I want every smile to be genuine, every laugh not to be noise to cover something else, all my fears to be conquered, Happy New Year Madam Justice but becoming such a man sigh One Tough Act To Follow.

I Will Have No Fear