Tag: Routine

Gospel 221 ~Willing To Lie Braxton~

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I would lie with him longer. Before I knocked on that door. I told him the truth that soon he wouldn’t hurt anymore. The only lie I said is that I would be okay. So he didn’t have to worry. All he ever lied about was treats. “Willing To Lie Braxton.”

Sunday, February 7, 2021

Gospel 221 ~Willing To Lie Braxton~

To Will:
I AM a Billionaire right now, but it doesn’t bring Braxton back. How long are you willing to lie? I don’t blame you.

Lies, coming from Braxton. Damn, you would be willing to die for those lies once again. It wasn’t laziness today as you stumbled out of bed how he would spin around begging for a treat. Hell, last week around this time, you followed him. “Dad, I’m going to be okay.” Lien on my heart, my soul, on all that I am, whatever take it. Be it God, the Devil. Suppose you could be the man from three weeks ago. You’re willing to be afraid if it meant having him back. The thing is now; nobody wants you, a harsh truth to face. Nope, never denying it. “Liege, Dad, Will” to Braxton though you were all these things and more, or at least he lied well.

“Whatever you want, whatever I got, it’s yours.” From Negan

  1. I AM Keeping It In My Pants (Day 037 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
    Completed (Day 044) No Fap
  2. I AM Always The “Father” My Dæmon Deserves
    PERMANENTLY
  3. I AM Sending Gulp Off To Be Published SIGH
    Failed
  4. I AM Writing “Look A Thing Like Santa”
    Failed
  5. I AM Cleaning The House BUT Some Things Aren’t Changing Despite This Sunday
    Completed
  6. I AM Finishing Reading Succubus Lord 8 by Eric Vall
    Completed

Lieu of any sense, it seems but, Six Impossible Things… What’s more impossible than merely going for a walk with him again? Let me tell you, it’s a good thing I didn’t shop for him at the Day Job. You wouldn’t be working any. The places that remind you now. Lied, fuck man, the one thing that deserves the “Undisputed Truth,” and it’s this. You killed Braxton, or I did… Well, the mere fact that the life I lived that you now lead was connected with his. If you conceived the fact that he would live another day without you?
Lie here alone… chances are you wouldn’t be here, but Braxton deserved so much better. You’re a man that can’t do these Six Impossible Things:

  1. I AM Keeping It In My Pants (Day 044 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
  2. I WILL Be The Man My Son Thinks I Am
  3. I AM Sending Gulp Off To Be Published SIGH
  4. I AM Writing “Look A Thing Like Santa”
  5. I AM Finishing Gathering For Braxton’s Albums
  6. I AM Finishing Reading The Enchanter by Vladimir Nabokov

Lieutenant though, there was no one better than him. It’s like you’re walking through fucking Hell, at least for me, it was. Do you know what the Ninth Circle is? Treachery. The principle that comes first in defining it is BETRAYAL. Strange… nope, you walk alone. Liar, that you can never be when it comes to love that I will always and forever feel for my son, that you have for him. Still, nothing helps, does it. When he died, a part of me died with him, and now it’s like you’re frozen there. You can’t move, why should you? Lie down next to Braxton for all those years and now when he gets up… Like three weeks ago, get up. Willing To Lie Braxton

I Am Afraid Without Braxton

Gospel 214 ~ Will’s “Dæmon” Day Afternoon~

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He doesn’t look a thing like Jesus, at least that’s what I think looking into the mirror. Nevertheless, I am a father, and looking at my son… I won’t turn away. He’ll be in my arms and/or my heart this afternoon. Will’s “Dæmon” Day Afternoon one more

Sunday, January 31, 2021

Gospel 214 ~ Will’s “Dæmon” Day Afternoon~

To Will:
I AM a Billionaire right now, and how I wish I could help you right now. No, the Dæmon, today is all about Little B. What’s BEST for him, what could be BAD for you, and what do you BELIEVE. Why do you call him a Dæmon? Because he is a part of your soul. Why do you love him like pancakes? That’s three different stories, a face full of waffles or French Toast, TWD, and his lap cuddles. Why do you and he hold on? What else is there for us? This could be our last morning together, and it remains routine.

Well, other than following him around and carrying him when needed. He needs you now, and he needed me back then. My decisions and my disgrace have led to your decision and his… Don’t hide from the truth, DEATH. Today could be when he dies. Fuck, of all my sins, and you might be responsible for the greatest one in thirty-six years. Of course, you don’t even know what that is yet. Will you walk in there and end Little B’s suffering? Could you bear to let him go on like this? What if they could save him; the price? I don’t envy you. Always in the depths of my mind, each week, there’s “I’ll do better next time.” You know it too, but there is no tomorrow. In a few hours, everything will change. I talked about being guilty but you doing this truly is impossible. Six Impossible Things:

  1. I AM Keeping It In My Pants (Day 030 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
    Completed (Day 037) No Fap
  2. I AM Always The “Father” My Dæmon Deserves
    Failed
  3. I AM Sending Gulp Off To Be Published SIGH
    Failed
  4. I AM Writing “Look A Thing Like Santa”
    Failed
  5. I AM Not Getting Arrested Ever Again EVER!!!
    Completed
  6. I AM Finishing Reading Succubus Lord 7 by Eric Vall
    Completed

There are no right answers, but some things are universal. In a few hours, you will be crying. You’ll lie beside the Dæmon as you have done since you adopted him. He’ll be with you, always and forever, in some way. And you’ll be the worst man no matter what.
Should you bring his bed or his pillow, favorite toy, your black hoodie? Will you purchase one of those electronic picture frames. You might never speak to Dirty Diana again because you’ll talk to the Dæmon every Thursday. Like the man in the mirror, maybe. Never give up, right? If he would eat something; if he would keep drinking. Would you finally be the father, the daddy, that he deserves? I know you would, living up to Six Impossible Things:

  1. I AM Keeping It In My Pants (Day 037 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
  2. I AM Always The “Father” My Dæmon Deserves
  3. I AM Sending Gulp Off To Be Published SIGH
  4. I AM Writing “Look A Thing Like Santa”
  5. I AM Cleaning The House BUT Some Things Aren’t Changing Despite This Sunday
  6. I AM Finishing Reading Succubus Lord 7 by Eric Vall

If only this was a terrible nightmare. You’re awake, now decide. Will’s “Dæmon” Day Afternoon

I Will Have No Fear

Log 317 ~Willing To Work Yet~

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First week back at work, how am I holding up? I tell you the things I would do, and I had a month, and what did I do? Wrote a book I can’t publish, and while the Coronavirus hasn’t gotten to me, I still suffer from anxiety. “Willing To Work Yet”

Wednesday, May 13, 2020

Log 317 ~Willing To Work Yet~

Forgive Me Echo,
I AM a Billionaire right now, and it took work to get here. So you know, WORK isn’t on my list of most hated words. I talk about work and the Day Job. Inspector Echo, I respect having to work, but I consider myself lazy. Then there’s the Day Job hmm… have we talked about what else I would be willing to do. Anything to avoid days like Monday… assuming the worse?

For example, why I’m talking to you today, now it’s Sunday. So I’ve blogged this day for about three years now. Right here, looking at my name badge from the Day Job. It’s been “almost” nine years, living paycheck to paycheck. My blog, in three years, is over 438,000 words and not one single book to show for it. Speaking of books, what about The Eve of a Cherry and Gulp? I couldn’t possibly get them published, and why not you ask? Oh right, too busy edging with Mia Khalifa, Mia Malkova, or Mia Rose. If I could organize characters as well as I do my porn. Yeah, my porn, I wasn’t kidding about Onlyfans. I’ve seen the guys that sign up for that. While I have no qualms about my body, it’s not like I would make any money? Last week I had to forgo some of my “investment” budget for the essentials. So I seem to be now.

An essential worker, Inspector Echo, I would do all the above if it meant I could escape the Day Job. Again why I’m talking to you today because when I get scheduled, I don’t want to wake up early. As THEY say about time and money and how do I spend those funds? Not on Call me a Legend or anymore on Onlyfans, yet. My money keeps me going to do things I don’t want to do, and still, I look like some charity case. By the time you’re reading this, I should have a few masks from the Day Job. Remember how I said WORK isn’t a bad word, but yeah, I should add LAZY, and I’m still SIGH STUPID. Everyone figured out how to get a mask before me, all I got is my bandanna and some cloth. Only I’m still going out to the Day Job because I don’t care enough to work at what I love.

No, I’m lazy, horny, and broke, Willing To Work Yet.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 310 ~Willy Time, Slow Time~

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Wasn’t I here last week, lost to the porn, worried about my pup, trying to find anything else to worry about besides the proponents of the puppet in the White House. The things one finds to do. Willy Time, Slow Time

Wednesday, May 6, 2020

Log 310 ~Willy Time, Slow Time~

Forgive Me Echo,
I AM a Billionaire right now, and if I were white with a rich Daddy, this would have happened overnight. Making that kind of money takes time, and I have that. Yet again, though, I ask myself, what have I been doing with mine, time being money?

Well, of course, sex Inspector Echo, what else is there? Having finished, The Eve of a Cherry, I find myself lost on what to do next. I shot down somebody looking for a Beta reader but can’t find any for myself ever. When somebody calls your work, “interesting?” Hell time flies reading but goes ever so slow when you’re EDITING. The only thing slower is me finding some girl to… yeah, I know not a compliment. Still, I’ve told adult entertainers no and when I finally broke. It wasn’t with, Call me a Legend, but how many ticks and tocks have I wasted playing that game these past few days? I remember playing, Heavy Rain, a certain way because I wanted to see Madison Paige strip. I won’t speak evil of Call me a Legend though, I don’t have time to tear myself down today.

Seeing as how this conversation is two days ahead, you know today is. Star Wars Day, which means I have plenty of movies to watch. One more day I’m taking off and SIGH, I have to watch the video from my Day Job. Fear takes more out of me than anything. So what has scared me today? Not much other than walking My Dæmon and hearing the sounds of construction. I remember when I was a child running through the woods so fast, and the house seemed so far. Even at thirty-five, I can go back to that moment. The wonders of time Inspector Echo.

Not anymore, though, like most days, I have fallen into a routine. I wake up late, have these conversations, post the one from two days ago. I usually fall into a nap and wake up late again to work on my book. I “want” to read, and somehow end up playing The Walking Dead or Call me a Legend. Dinner, and then there are the nights where I stay up until one or two doing well “stuff and thangs.” The worse thing about time… my kid winding down, the stairs are his test these days.

Sadness, Willy Time, Slow Time.

I Will Have No Fear