Tag: Silence

Lesson 277 ~Excuse Me, Miss Pinterest~

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It was a miracle that I didn’t go off, how about the fact that I didn’t get into more trouble, that I don’t have more problems, though I’m far from no worries, which included getting into the movies. Excuse Me, Miss Pinterest

Wednesday, April 04, 2018

Lesson 277 ~Excuse Me, Miss Pinterest~

Forgive Me Echo,
I Am Not Fine Today but the day is nearly over. I tell you when you wake up in the morning; you can be at peace with the fairer sex and in five minutes before my shift ends you want to stomp #MeToo, wonder about The Screwfly Solution” and all you take from the “The Miracle Season” is volleyball players have cute butts. One sin Inspector Echo, all it takes is one, and then you know why there is a Highway to Hell, one big freaking wreck.

Now I am not a gentleman though I may “try” but you want to know what I want Inspector Echo, I want to go to bed and in a quest for that, five minutes, some “woman” the store custodian is busy having her social hour. I’ll admit I could have been nicer, but you spend your entire shift unloading a truck and putting out merchandise. So I simply tell her to watch out as I step over her bag of trash and pass a make-up “girl” who was taking pictures during her shift. “the word is “excuse me,” she says behind my back… she’s lucky the words weren’t “move bitch, get out the way” honestly.

I also wanted to talk about the termination of my Pinterest account; because undoubtedly some woman was behind that and I suppose I’ll be fending off emails for the next few days wondering what the hell happened, they won’t tell me. How quickly the day changes, from one humiliation and anger to the next, plus it’s late so that is another thing I will have to know forgiveness for, a lack of eloquence. How about rage, I was ready to march right back in there and have a face-off with the janitor, why not try that with my boss hmm?

I swear Inspector by the end of the day I engaged in all seven deadly sins and most before lunch, but it all began with one bitch who would instead party than doing her damn job and the thing is what didn’t matter to her after five seconds will stick with me for five months. You still remember why I have been writing for two hundred and seventy-seven days right, I swear I feel like Adam thinking oh Eve you have done it now dear.

Forgive me for not listing out every sin, for my exhaustion, for my rage and madness, but there is a reason Hell is an eternity thinking Excuse Me, Miss Pinterest.

I Will Have No Fear

Lesson 273 ~Tell Me A Story~

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Today has been one productive day, I didn’t tell a story but a few reviews down and tomorrow the real work begins, and that’s when I will have to live up to these words, this promise I suppose. Tell Me A Story, soon and not soon enough

Saturday, March 31, 2018

Lesson 273 ~Tell Me A Story~

Hey Lady Lu,
I Am Not Fine Today but I prefer you not tell me a joke now and especially not tomorrow, and maybe it’s fate that I start writing my next novel tomorrow as the Christians will be all joy and rapture at what they say is “The Greatest Story Ever Told.” Hell how many people go to bed at night hoping that they never have to wake up, even Jesus didn’t make it through his thirties just saying.

Tell me an excuse and yes I’m going on and on about the Pinterest thing; the Internet is sort of like my medication, and I need the right balance of things to keep me centered if that makes any sense. I think I’m starting to understand the rage and the fear of the sound of silence, shouldn’t I know by now no one’s listening to me; it’s one thing when you see your world and they can’t but when your world hides from you… Losing an account has only happened once with Yahoo, but what have I said about defending your one inch of nothing?

Tell me is that why I write about sex all the time, I’m sure many would agree or was I the only one who found the one-inch thing dirty, like Big Ten Inch, or twelve steps. Honestly, I’m not in the mood. It doesn’t matter if I’m in the mood or not because tomorrow I will be writing, yes I need to repeat those words over and over, make them my mantra but it’s like I’m just hitting a brick wall. Hard as a rock honestly, I know, I’ll stop it, but I’m in a rush for no particular reason other than my made-up time constraints, and maybe I should turn my phone off, maybe?

Tell me something good, but before that, I’ll probably be stuck saying something stupid like I love you… what I tell the dog I love him every day, and I reveal to that girl “Cherry” other things, but I’m getting better with that. Today I should be yelling to the masses *crickets chirping*, *tumbleweed blows through*, okay I should ask myself how I feel about movies and books on the blog, writing something Lady Lu.

Tell me it’s been five thousand words already but no, I got a late start today which means I’ll be missing even more sleep but if I could sleep I’d say Tell Me A Story.

I Will Have No Fear

Lesson 270 ~Let’s Have The Noise~

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Be quiet, shut up, that’s enough noise and isn’t it a dog’s duty to warn his human, but I can take his barking a lot better than the words of most people. He’s indeed his father’s son. Let’s Have The Noise

Wednesday, March 28, 2018

Lesson 270 ~Let’s Have The Noise~

Forgive Me Echo,
I Am Not Fine Today but do you think I will tell anyone; oh sure my fingers hitting these keys, the way I groan when my dog wants me to wake-up and live, the way my heart sounds like thunder whenever the phone rings or there’s a knock upon my chamber door.

Hell sometimes I think I’m turning the pages too loud, which is just another reason I use my Kindle; a small excuse, I can carry my library anywhere but still those damn pages in traditional books. How about the words that I don’t say out loud but are bold on the covers, and even my fashion sense, I find red to be a loud color, but black isn’t supposed to speak… did that sound racist, when you think about it, yeah, people of color aren’t allowed to speak against the status quo. Something else I’ve noticed is I shuffle my feet; don’t I have the strength to lift them anymore other than heading up the stairs to paradise… my bed?

Is it my pride, I think words should have such power and when I speak men tremble, honestly ask my general manager, why do my answers frighten him so; I’m a fan of the second amendment but even more so of the first. Inspector Echo you have heard me say again I do such damage to myself before I ever consider hurting another, don’t I see my words do the most damage. If anything I am the walking embodiment of “The Sound of Silence,” and we know how people can’t take that, they are much too afraid of the truths they will hear, only aren’t I telling myself stories nightly?

My gravest sin today is not giving them forgiveness, their absolution, as though “just kidding” has ever been a salve to me; haven’t I said this before, that laughter perhaps is the worst sound. No one has seen or heard my tears in ages and they never will again as the song goes “but to cry in front of you, that’s the worst thing I could do,” so I’m not that great a sinner am I Inspector Echo, you think?

So I ask forgiveness first and foremost for myself, haven’t I said the point is to make noise, and I’m still so afraid, yes I am scared to be; I’m sorry I can endure the silence like any other pain, and I won’t give that pain to others. I’m sorry I won’t give them what they ask for; saying no to, Let’s Have The Noise.

I Will Have No Fear

Lesson 266 ~Thou Doth Protest Too~

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I’m starting with the man in the mirror but usually, that’s a discussion for another time, today people all of the U.S.A. are trying to hold that mirror up to the country while I just lie here, my body protesting life. Thou Doth Protest Too

Saturday, March 24, 2018

Lesson 266 ~Thou Doth Protest Too~

Hey Lady Lu,
I Am Not Fine Today or at least that’s what my body tells me; to be sure I had so many plans today but I stayed in bed just down for the count and my mind was playing tricks on me. Am I going to be all creative now and mention music or going to see Pacific Rim: Uprising, you’re probably the second person I can talk to about that film honestly.

Too bad the silent treatment isn’t exactly welcomed at work, as it would even matter, to anyone, too many people speaking for me anyway and how can I resist; I know it sounds pretty in song form, but that’s what I have been thinking about lately. Later on today people will be protesting against what’s wrong with this country, and there is a small bit of me that would like to join them. Not trying to sound suicidal but my body is protesting life itself, and that shows that things need to change if I would only just get up.

When did I turn all political, I know things can be better Lady Luna and it is scary to think that they can’t be and then I get angry because I know, I can do this, emphasis on DO but honestly what do I want to protest? Hell haven’t I tried, did I tell you what happened at work, that my First Amendment rights don’t exist, for the moment I still have my job. Again there is fear that everything would fall apart for me if I fought back but isn’t it already, trying to keep those with oh so fragile egos together, think Meg from “Family Guy” just saying.

There’s also so much to fight for, too much, every day there are petitions, animals in need crimes being committed and I want to help, but I was looking at my budget the other day, besides what little pleasures I allow, McDonald’s trip, a movie. Now, how about Starbucks, just enough to buy a small drink to soothe my conscience and anxiety to sit in a coffeehouse and hope for something that may never be.

Resist is what I have learned today, okay one more song “Man In The Mirror” Lady Luna how often have I told you about that line in Schindler’s List, “save a life and save the world entire” and that’s what these kids are doing, fighting to save their lives. I lied, the last song Pray For Me “You need a hero, look in the mirror, there go your hero” so if I want to save myself, Thou Doth Protest Too.

I Will Have No Fear

Lesson 233 ~What’s Worse Than Hate, Indifference~

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I’m a lot of things, to a few I am even a man if not The Man, and those few times I look in the mirror or how I feel, I know it. Only humans can be so annoying, we can be loved and hated but what’s worse hmm? What’s Worse Than Hate, Indifference

Monday, February 19, 2018

Lesson 233 ~What’s Worse Than Hate, Indifference~

Twentieth Rule Madam Justice,

I Am Not Afraid Anymore though time has passed since I was fear itself; when I was in school my slogan was, the best thing to have is love, if not then be liked, at least be respected, barring that be invisible, and if all else fails, be feared. Another day, another school shooting, well a few days ago so maybe I shouldn’t knock hate, at least hatred makes sense or insanity but to just not matter, to cease to be, that’s indifference, that’s Hell.

“You don’t think I’m ordinary?”

“You couldn’t be ordinary if you tried.”

“Thank you. I don’t think there’s anything worse than being ordinary.” American Beauty

Now how can anyone hate words, but “interesting” I find lazy but “whatever,” is the worst just edging out “just kidding” because whatever to me eliminates an idea? Yes I know I’m guilty of using all three but the last time I used all of the above I still talk to the person daily, like, love, and hate can be the most exhausting things ever. What about silence, at work my first amendment rights are being curtailed and telling people that you honestly don’t care, hell I don’t talk to my family and vice versa, but again I am exhausted.

Hating though is one thing, to hate means you once cared, even if it was a Luke Skywalker moment of wanting to kill Kylo Ren, but once there is nothing left to love, hate, or fear, you’re capable of doing the most monstrous of things. Better to feel too much than too little isn’t that what they say and that’s also the problem, people trying to tell each other how to feel. When you do that to someone they feel as though they’re not understood and when they aren’t being heard then what is the point of speaking at all?

Another reason I put such value in words, for someone that hates most people, thank goodness, I do see the importance of communication, as in my dog, but solitude is also a blessing. Hate can destroy but I think it’s the moment that we cease to care, a time when a person is seen not as a human being or less than what they are, and they know speaking, crying, screaming won’t help they are made indifferent and notably dangerous.

“Can’t even shout.
Can’t even cry.
The Gentlemen are coming by.
Looking in windows,
knocking on doors…
They need to take seven
and they might take yours…
Can’t call to mom.
Can’t say a word.
You’re gonna die screaming,
but you won’t be heard.” Hush

So love if you can, like, respect, and if somebody chooses to be invisible, take it as a blessing, because the moment everything is lost including hate, there is but indifference, and the return of fear and goodness knows I hate, lust, I feel shame. What’s Worse Than Hate, Indifference

“If you ever loved me, don’t rob me of my hate. It’s all I have.” The Count of Monte Cristo

I Will Have No Fear

Lesson 222 ~#MeToo, Me Three, Foreplay~

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Last week I was worried about Heaven hearing me when misunderstood by a man across the desk and a woman I wouldn’t have minded… shh, you can’t say such things or even the innocent pretty words, don’t even think them “#MeToo, Me Three, Foreplay.”

Thursday, February 8, 2018

Lesson 222 ~#MeToo, Me Three, Foreplay~

WARNING, 18+, READER DISCRETION ADVISED

Come In Dirty Diana,
I Am Not Afraid Anymore, but I should be, I think a lot of men are, and I know we have talked about my mouth on more than one occasion that when it comes to women… at this rate, I have nothing to worry about honestly. If anything I still remember the 5th Amendment, but lately, I have been holding onto the first one as tightly as a Republican with his gun after any recent shooting.

A man with a voice is a dangerous thing these days though it’s more about the physical aspect but it’s these words Dirty Diana, these damn words, and the words are now, the right to remain silent… those would be the Miranda rights? The right to free speech though, I’ve never whistled at some woman, never catcalled, never called some girl a dirty name outside the bedroom or should I just say sexual activity. Funny I thought something like this would scare me the most, well it has but what were the real consequences of any such thing other than looking like a pervert, a Harvey Weinstein or even worse.

You know what word nearly ended me; life, how about a job’s a job, another day, a sigh, a moan, a grunt, and I’m supposed to be worried about calling a woman a slut, a ho, how about whore or bitch? No Dirty Diana they are saying a backlash is coming, you know I can be nice, but a guy can be taken down by an accusation, an acknowledgment of beauty, a look, a movement, my god nothing is safe. Think The Screwfly Solution with the Daughters of Eve rather than the Sons of Adam. I know this isn’t sounding so sexy but these days, silence, isolation, talk about spreading your legs, what about opening your mind, or breaking your heart, hiding everything about ourselves because we’re afraid for men to be men and women to be women and everything.

I respect the #MeToo movement but where does it end, you wonder why I’m so scared to talk to women outside because I’m horrified to talk to anybody and damn my social anxiety, it’s against the law to be me, and I’m made to be something they see which is illegal. Every single word and you could be one of them, #MeToo, Me Three, Foreplay.

I Will Have No Fear

Lesson 209 ~For The Write Man~

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Words against words, why must we humans create wars with everything that we touch, if it weren’t for certain “aspects” I swear I could take a vow of silence like some monks because if you don’t have anything nice to say? “For The Write Man”

Friday, January 26, 2018

Lesson 209 ~For The Write Man~

Hey Lady Sophia
I Am Not Afraid Anymore, even when I know my name is on some form somewhere, or at least I hope it is; I’ve always thought my future will know fruition along a sentence or two, hopefully not a prison one. With everything, I have ever written, and with everything I have ever said, I still find myself striving to find the right ones, not that I have anything against lust or wrath, or what I would call “love” to be sure.

This week’s words haven’t been right at all and no I’m not talking about the general manager, those words were kick ass, I had a backbone. I suppose I’m trying to drown out the others, the police reports, work, the bitch and don’t worry I think I have spoken enough about how much my writing has cursed me in days long gone. All the same, people fear silence, and it’s enough to drive one insane; tell me a story, but it has to be the story I want to hear.

Part of the reason I’m a reviewer or I should be, I’ve been falling behind with that too, and it dawns on me that I’m not the right man for the job because I say what I usually think in the laziest way possible. Let’s not kid ourselves, Lady Sophia, none of us are right to judge that’s why we specialize in execution; I saw that Larry Nassar got sentenced, according to his story he did nothing wrong, to so many others of course he did, the people believe, hell I agree. My point is what story do we choose to hear, to concur with, the man wrote his own, wrong as it is and yet silence is unwanted honestly.

You have the right to remain silent, how I look at those words now, at my job I don’t but at the same time you don’t have the right, to speak the truth, so let me take a page from Ernest Hemingway. We’re not friends but enemies, I hate you, I despise you, I will never forgive you, and you are a waste of air for all of our humanity.

I won’t ever say those words to him Lady Sophia but that’s my story for him, my review, and I’m sure there are many of me, but he is the wrong man to say this to and as for me *sigh* For The Write Man.

I Will Have No Fear

Lesson 208 ~Ahead Of The Game~

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When everything you say is wrong all you have to do is find a girl for answers, although to be honest I’m not that coherent during, and if I am, then it’s time to find a new girl… no filter right? Ahead Of The Game.

Thursday, January 25, 2018

Lesson 208 ~Ahead Of The Game~

WARNING, 18+, READER DISCRETION ADVISED

Come In Dirty Diana,
I Am Not Afraid Anymore because some things render me speechless, e.g., blowjobs and even that I have an opinion about, yes I’m a hypocrite, this is true. First because last week I talked about getting loud, second the cock wants what it wants, and thirdly somebody put something in his mouth my zipper’s stuck, still thinking about that bastard from a few days ago; worried?

“Somebody put something in his mouth. My zipper’s stuck.” Martin Lawrence

Strange that I think about getting head when the last thing I want to do is reminisce, or in this case thinking with the little head instead of the big one… two birds one stone. What I mean is a release of one will lead to peace for the other, it’s hard to do anything in such a state, drive a car, hate your fellow man, or worry about anything at all. So while I’m trying not to indulge someone I despise, what about what I like in a girl, that would be a better use of my time right?

As the song goes, give me a head with hair, long beautiful hair, seriously I had a massive thing for Amandla Stenberg in “Everything, Everything” and then I saw her with a shaved head and dammit did that not negate everything else. Am I that shallow, I could be as bad as Ted Mosby that’s mad because a girl doesn’t pick up the check, or Blake who thinks he’s so disgusting that Erin can’t stand to look at him. Perhaps Catherine trying to imagine someone attractive in “Cruel Intentions 2”, that might have sucked. I’m not as depraved as to think about glory holes and paying for it… well, hopefully, I’m still gainfully employed now.

So where was I, long hair, I have a thing for brunettes, and a girl looking at me while she’s in the act, it honestly takes me to another place, the sound of silence or at least no words, more than words as another song goes. My favorite has to be that Katniss Everdeen braids style from The Hunger Games, ponytails, pigtails, but then we’re going into cosplay, and other fetishes and again my big head is much too dense, and my little head will be much too full dealing.

Is the lesson today that people should learn to shut their mouths in one way or another or that people naturally suck or are masters so Ahead Of The Game?

I Will Have No Fear

Lesson 087 ~Poor Pasts Poetry Protests~

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What do I am the NFL have in common… not a thing but many have chosen silence to make the loudest statement, almost illegal to be black or even an American you, know those not backing the KKK, the Nazis, or the Confederacy. Poor Pasts Poetry Protests

Tuesday, September 26, 2017

Lesson 087 ~Poor Pasts Poetry Protests~

Hey Lady Lu
No Fear but as you can see plenty to say though I don’t know how much I’ll get t, one day I’ll have all the time in the world but as I told “Indiana Gone” my future simply revolves around a lot of money. Am I that poor in everything else or that rich, the more things change the more they stay the same; I still think money will fix everything, more to the point power will.

Past and present Lady Lu, I was reminded of “The Harm of a Cookie” now was that free speech or me being a pervert, personally a little bit of both but what was the harm? Yeah I know I was being pretty bad back then but who have I ever harmed, well besides myself, we’ve had these conversations about freedom, art, rage, somewhere in our eighty-seven conversations together and what does it all mean? If I say I’m trying to find myself that just makes me sound a whole lot worse truth or not and maybe today I’m trying to find something to stand for or kneel as the case maybe nowadays, remind me to tune into “The Daily Show”.

Knights kneel and then rise, swearing to protect a better world and these days the world is crap so how can anyone be asked to rise and serve it, these protests *sigh* did soldiers die so that Trump can destroy all they have sacrificed for. Nazi flags displayed prominently, the Confederacy celebrated, the rich getting richer, the poor being villainized, and it is a song that gets everyone riled up and they don’t understand. I’m not politico mastermind Luna but my poetry was/is my protest against my own silence, some of it anyway and like everything about me, it just wasn’t right, and my point?

Yeah I probably should have thought more about that but in this country, it’s damn nearly illegal to be black and I’m more concerned that it is illegal to be me, what do I always say, impossible, immoral, illegal, and insane? Men rose and fell to defend freedom and now there are those who stand to deny it for some if not all, while others kneel in defiance of this country, perhaps world gone mad.

What have I learned today, other than I finally have a reason to respect the NFL, personally I’m still letting some words get to me and not speaking, thinking, feeling my Poor Pasts Poetry Protests?

Grin’s Fairytale

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I hate my smile and I could say it’s because I have bad teeth, fell on the stairs, hit with a baseball bat amongst other things but words can be just as damaging to be sure and my words well… Grin’s Fairytale, weren’t “Grimm’s Fairytales” horror

Because I can’t stand to “sup”
or suspend, the words blurry.
I can’t help but worry
as I latch on, again and again
to hmm, oh, I stand in awe
though there is no God

present, he need not hurry
as I have not grown up;
and since when has any man been enough?
“Oh, yes, there will be blood” Jigsaw
spilled his guts but oh when, oh when
will I say the right word to win?

It’s a setup,
when I thought she was a friend
but a stranger, and the skin
crawls, surely
I’m guilty; who am I to say Nah,
to cry, to scream, to laugh, ta-ta

Instead, I offer no sound, no fury
for judge, jury, executioner I draw
no excuses for my shame, as my jaw
knows I should shut the hell up
My every thought, word, and dream a sin
Swallow them, here’s my shit eating grin

Copyright © 2017, Will A. Bradford Jr. All rights reserved.