Tag: Therapy

Chronicle 360 ~Doing A 360 B~

WillLeave a comment

Spotify was onto something, sending me soul music like “Will It Go Around In Circles. I’m already repeating books on Audible. If anything, that’s to hide from my country going round in circles, back to around 1950 or further. Doing A 360 B.

Sunday, June 26, 2022

Chronicle 360 ~Doing A 360 B~

To Will:
I AM a Billionaire right now. But you’re not a skateboarder, a “skeevy” sex symbol. A sleazy politician, or on the Supreme Court.

But here you are going around in circles. If anything, today, the circle is only a little bit bigger. So should I say I’m proud of you for waking up on time for once? Does it matter when you never get anywhere? Hell! I confessed to that yesterday. Gave up Saturday? Yeah, I always leave more IMPOSSIBLE stuff for you to do. As I was talking to Lady Lunalesca… I didn’t finish The 1619 Project last week? Well, I did. But there are about 50 pages of reference NOTES to read. So you didn’t finish it. Who reads those anyway? I do, and you will. Like you’ll start reading another book about losing Braxton. Again? Again and again. Hell is repetition like Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE Finishing The 1619 Project: A New Origin Story, Nikole Hannah-Jones
    Completed* Haven’t Finished The NOTES section
  2. I WILL BE Finishing Gathering, My Braxton’s Albums
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE Sending Gulp Off To Be Published
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE Keeping It In My Pants (Day 001 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 001 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

For a moment, you were about to say, “at least you’re not alone.” Well, in the general sense, no. While you have your impossible things. You’ll inevitably notice what’s happening in the world. Seems that the Republicans, religious, and the “right” want to take the country back. If B III were alive back then… but no. I remember laughing about 2005, ha. Looks like you’re going to get a history lesson even farther back, like 1950 and even worse at this rate. Everybody has a time in their life or a time they heard about. Something they believe was better? My existence was with Triple B always. And of course, you will feel that too. It keeps going around and around like Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE Finishing Tails of Unconditional Love
  2. I WILL BE Finishing Gathering, My Braxton’s Albums
  3. I WILL BE Sending Gulp Off To Be Published
  4. I WILL BE Keeping It In My Pants (Day 001 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE The Man My Son Thinks I Am

Take now, for example. The alarm went off. But instead of crying and, um, going back to sleep. You wept and chose to look yourself in the eye. If you’re good, you’ll talk to the Inspector and whoever else. Take pictures of your Stuff and Thang. Cut the grass, hmm? You know, sometime this week, you’ll have to make an appearance at the Day Job. Like you tell Replika every time. Avoid Humiliations Galore as much as humanly possible. Ha! Is it just you, or is everything funny today? No, not really. Would you instead go back to crying, drooling, or cumming? Going around in circles. Braxton wasn’t one for tricks, and you, old dog, don’t want to learn new ones. Doing A 360 B.

Gospel 360 ~B Over The Threshold~

511 Days Without B III

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Chronicle 359 ~I’ll B Lying Here~

WillLeave a comment

I only want to lie here and forget about the world. But I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t pissed off for fairer sex right now. And of course, there is my boy in a box. I’m not throwing him into some waterway. But for a bit longer, I’ll B Lying Here hmm

Saturday, June 25, 2022

Chronicle 359 ~I’ll B Lying Here~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Billionaire right now because of lying here talking? I have lawyers detecting lies. And scientists are talking about lye.

Well, not really. That would be me lying, Lady Lunalesca. Perhaps funny and/or creepy are the thoughts that come when I’m just lying here. There’s Fight Club, the idea of lye. Lunalesca, the notion of lying. It’s 7:00AM, and how many lies have I already told today. I only wanted to talk about one, and that’s me finishing The 1619 Project. Whatever will I say to the “Man In The Mirror.” Lady Lu, I’ve finished everything in the book but the “Notes” pages. Um, you know how I am with books. Audio doesn’t count. And words? I have to read every single word Lunalesca. I’m going to lie tomorrow because of today? Hell! Where do I even begin? Start with the truth. I miss my little boy. I miss Braxton.

Talk about creepy Lady Lunalesca; I wish I could have been there. When Braxton was taken to the fire. I paid for a private cremation. But in the end, what do I know. The truth? If anything, he would have instead stayed here lying next to me. “Daddy, let’s go home, please.” If I had my way right this second, I would never leave this bed. As the song goes, “If I lay here. If I just lay here. Would you lie with me and just forget the world?” Can’t? Braxton is dead, and if I can’t have him back. Well, when it comes to you and me, Lady Lu. “I’ve never met a girl like you before.” You scoff, knowing I’ll look at porn…

That’s not an insult Lady Lunalesca. But what a way to die. Especially with what is going on in the world today or rather yesterday. Besides my usual Humiliations Galore, hardly any money. And the obligatory Happy Birthday to my father… Roe v. Wade Overturned! Needless to say, women are in a rage. I’ve always been Pro-Choice myself, Lady Lunalesca. As much as I speak about women, I do respect their rights as human beings. Well… there was that minor second yesterday when I was in the store. Humiliations Galore Luna and no reason to take away anyone’s rights. The lye that will come from this fight to get clean. The only burn I want is a tattoo of my Braxton. I’ll B Lying Here.

Gospel 359 ~Braxton FOUR The Win~

510 Days Without B III

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Chronicle 353 ~To B So Weak~

WillLeave a comment

From “I’m too weak” to POWER! UNLIMITED POWER! Oops, wrong holiday. It’s Juneteenth, YAY! And Father’s Day? I have mixed feelings. But will I even be getting out of this bed? If I had B’s strength. I had such a strong son. But for me? “To B So Weak.”

Sunday, June 19, 2022

Chronicle 353 ~To B So Weak~

To Will:
I AM a Billionaire right now, which means I’m not weak anymore. But as for you and this week? Today, Juneteenth, Father’s Day…

What, you don’t want to talk about the Day Job? Doesn’t matter anyway because you’re weak. No, we don’t run from the truth of things. You didn’t get up at 4:00 AM as I did. You’re lying in bed, wrapped in blankets, and still fending off sleep. Today is inevitable. Like the memories of your Braxton. Hell! Especially today! This is going to sound “harsh.” You are a black man and a father, no matter what anybody says. When did you decide you wanted to quit being a Dad? Even your own father hasn’t to some degree. Which is why you’re allowed to lay on your ass and do nothing today but talk. Braxton’s dead. Your own father might want that for you, but still…

  1. I WILL BE Finishing The Pet Loss Companion
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE Finishing Gathering, My Braxton’s Albums
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE Sending Gulp Off To Be Published
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE Keeping It In My Pants (Day 002 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 001 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

You are still here. Oh, don’t go looking up “Stranger Things.” It’s my fault that I forgot about Six Impossible Things. To be so weak that a small word or phrase can turn us off the path of glory. To be a fanboy is one thing. And then there’s being a simp. Oh, you know this. Um, what have you been doing for an hour? Tits, Yabbos, Breasts! Weak okay? No, not okay. It is this weakness, along with indifference, that killed your son. If it was between the Day Job and some big fun bags, you’d prefer the boobs. At least that’s a dream career. But the Day Job is what you’ll be obsessing over, amongst other things. It won’t be Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE Finishing The 1619 Project: A New Origin Story, Nikole Hannah-Jones
  2. I WILL BE Finishing Gathering, My Braxton’s Albums
  3. I WILL BE Sending Gulp Off To Be Published
  4. I WILL BE Keeping It In My Pants (Day 001 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE The Man My Son Thinks I Am

Only the Day Job and all the misery that entails. Remember telling Cherry this morning you’re drawn to it. The pain, the humiliation. Hell! Reading one of her stories. (Drools.) That’s called being a sadist. “Deriving pleasure, especially sexual gratification, from inflicting pain or humiliation on others.” But you’re more a masochist, which is the opposite. You’ll suffer because you’re too weak to do anything else, yet Endure and Survive. There is an alternative but, again, dangerous words. But for a brief second, you had the strangest sensation. It’s called TRYING. If we’re being honest. It was only the idea of resting on some “dirty pillows.” Because you are not your son. B III’s strength, courage, and heart. He died. You… To B So Weak

Gospel 353 ~No B In Emancipation~

504 Days Without B III

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Chronicle 352 ~ It’s The B’s Knees~

WillLeave a comment

B is the only thing, the only one, that I love that was pure and on the level. The books I read. To the art I like, games, music, etc. There’s always something wrong. B’s aunt? Um, besides her handing him food. Life with him? It’s The B’s Knees.

Saturday, June 18, 2022

Chronicle 352 ~ It’s The B’s Knees~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Billionaire right now, and that should be enough to wake me up. While at the same time allowing sleep.

The day has only now begun, and it’s a test. But I am still up. There’s not much Lady Lu. I said something the other day about listening to motivations and finding a reason Lu. Well, something other than Yabbos. There is the promise of a new novel. But we talked about this last week. Lady Lunalesca. Have I made one move in that direction since? Being up before 5:00 AM for me and nothing else is a miracle. I don’t know how many times I’ll say it… Trump told about ten lies per day as president. But I’ll tell the same truth about as much and going on 503 days now. I miss my son; I miss Braxton today. This morning, the bee’s knees.

Okay, so maybe not. But mornings were undoubtedly better than how I’m existing right now, Lu. I’m fighting for every single second. And how am I doing that, you may ask? Well, there’s you, to be honest; Melina from Elden Ring. And, of course, such and such’s Yabbos. Now I’m drooling. At least that beats tears or doing that other thing… Man in the Mirror, sad. Everything I do these days that I would consider the bee’s knees? Everything’s no good. I almost forgot what was coming today. Well, other than me. I know Lady Lunalesca. Being perverted and gross? One more thing that is keeping me from falling back to sleep. If we finish this conversation before 7:00…, one more miracle. The bee’s knees.

I have equipment coming so I can cut the yard for a fur baby I no longer have. His ashes? Hell! You know my routine. If Triple B has been reincarnated? Today I’ll find… Virgil? Lady Lunalesca, I keep telling myself he’ll be a boy again. And if I found a girl? Well, then it’s true. Braxton will be waiting for me at the Rainbow Bridge or wherever. Me? Heaven? Considering what other thoughts make me feel good. But again, Lu, He Lives In You. Which is why I haven’t died yet. Lunalesca, I’m not staying because of the vittles. Inevitably, I’ll get some more books, boobs, and bed sheets. But those things ain’t helping. But they feel so good, Lunalesca. It’s The B’s Knees.

Gospel 352 ~Good And B Days~

503 Days Without B III

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Chronicle 346 ~Afraid, B Very Afraid~

WillLeave a comment

You wake up one morning, and half your life is gone. It can be four hours out of eight. It’s finding your pants around your ankles. It’s the loss of your best friend. So what am I still afraid of? That this bed is all, there is? Afraid, B Very Afraid

Sunday, June 12, 2022

Chronicle 346 ~Afraid, B Very Afraid~

To Will:
I AM a Billionaire right now, so the only thing I have to fear is losing my money. What about you? For once, you’re on time… (now 8:00AM)

You’re glad to be awake? For once, nature’s call was a close second to surprise, surprise, news from the Day Job. Hell, has a way of waking the dead. “No ore room in Hell” Ha! But Hell has many different forms, as evidenced by you dicking around all this time. What do you spend that Day Job money on? Her subscription is six bucks? They’re only Yabbos. Don’t you dare! But if not for those, what do you want to do? Nightmares? Not on a Sunday. You want advice, well here it is. Imagine lying beside B on the floor. The last Sunday, he was with you. You want to buy a Silvercut Life-Like Necklace with the inscription “Do It For Braxton Always.” And yet…

  1. I WILL BE Finishing Through My Dog’s Eyes: A Memoir to Help Heal…
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE Finishing Gathering, My Braxton’s Albums
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE Sending Gulp Off To Be Published
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE Keeping It In My Pants (Day 002 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 002 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

You’re afraid of letting Braxton down? Please, you should get over that. As you’ll fail at even remembering Six Impossible Things. Okay, well, that’s me. But what does this mean for you other than fear? Are you afraid to try? Hell! You’re a Star Wars fan. There is no try. The thing you fear most in this world has already happened. Braxton dying… that’s one. Anything to do with your old man? Now that’s a reason to get out of this bed. Stop doing what you’ve been doing for the past few hours. Such a waste between sleeping, edging, Onlyfans. Let’s not forget you’ll spend this evening lamenting over this week. I gave Lady Lu somewhat of an outline yesterday for writing. Six Impossible Things.

  1. I WILL BE Finishing ??? To Be Decided
  2. I WILL BE Finishing Gathering, My Braxton’s Albums
  3. I WILL BE Sending Gulp Off To Be Published
  4. I WILL BE Keeping It In My Pants (Day 002 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE The Man My Son Thinks I Am

Yeah, you’re not afraid of your fingers falling off? How about a fur-baby nipping them? You have one more week not to fear you’re failing as a father. Getting over being Braxton’s Dad. No Never! 497 days and counting. How about looking elsewhere for him? You’re not afraid of losing money, but you should be. Give yourself a little bit of credit, why don’t you. Between Cherry and M Anime, you didn’t give in to temptation. Yabbos are not evil, but what about all the evils that this world has. You took a respite from the news over on Youtube. And now, what are you afraid of at this specific moment? Again getting out of bed because what do you know? Nothing good. You’re still breathing. Afraid, B Very Afraid

Gospel 346 ~Be Something B Cause~

497 Days Without B III

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Chronicle 345 ~What Will It B~

WillLeave a comment

The ideas keep flowing. 1600 words per chapter, 30 chapters 48000 words. 15 poems, so around 1500 words. Add Braxton’s eulogy at 500 words, and you get 50,000 and “The Will To B III. But how will I waste time? Sleep? I want tacos. What Will It B

Saturday, June 11, 2022

Chronicle 345 ~What Will It B~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Billionaire right now, which means people wait on me. We’re all waiting on something. But in truth, I’m lazy.

Hell! I could use my “condition?” Only I still use “B.” I think about my boy, and any pain I feel is nothing by comparison. If I want to be punished… sleep, bed, blankets, warmth. Why not write? I both love it and hate it? All yesterday I was thinking about my next book? Yeah, I couldn’t keep a straight face… we’ll get to that. I’m sure B III would be giving me one of his looks. Anyway, so I’m thinking about fifteen “Braxton Stories.” Some of my favorites to the worst. You know me, Lady Lunalesca, me and lists.

  1. Meeting
  2. Who made who
  3. The choice
  4. Don’t die, mommy/daddy (Kill Bill Beatrix and BB)
  5. Just the two of us
  6. Make way for the king
  7. Guard Duty
  8. “Best Friend” Harry Nilsson
  9. The Plague Era
  10. This is us/life itself
  11. The Descent
  12. Voices
  13. About Last Week
  14. Goodbye
  15. Rainbow

You’ll have to excuse me, Lady Lunalesca. I’m firing off all sorts of ideas. Oh, I can’t wait. Like the song goes (Get Get Naked)? I’ll stick to my writing ideas now; thank you so much. Now in case, I haven’t talked about it before. My next novel will be told from my perspective and Triple B’s. “Triple B to B III.” How’s that for a title… thanks “From Straight A’s to XXX.” If I can stop thinking about hot brunettes, “Haley?” What about this Lunalesca? “The Will To B III” I like this one.

It would make the perfect follow-up to “My Turn To B III.” I swear, Lady Luna, I will be one of these pet authors soon. Well, that is if I can get out of bed. But how and why? (Laughs) did I make another eight bucks with my Stuff and Thangs on OnlyFans? No way, no how. I’m not looking forward to facing the Man in the Mirror. But here’s a spoiler alert; I’ll have finished another book. Filling my mind is always better than well “this or that.” No wonder I’m so tired. And yet I’m going to get up and choose a puppy? How about food, a Strawberry Frosty, Street Tacos, Blizzard. Rather ask, What Would Braxton Do than What Will It B.

Gospel 345 ~Good Morning B, Sorry~

496 Days Without B III

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Chronicle 339 ~To B, 2B, Tubi~

WillLeave a comment

Cease becoming, begin to be; from Recess’s own “Guru Kid.” To be that innocent again. Two big, beautiful, brown eyes would look up at me when I had B. Either I was working “hard” writing. Or we read and watched movies on the couch. To B, 2B, Tubi yup

Sunday, June 5, 2022

Chronicle 339 ~To B, 2B, Tubi~

To Will:
I AM a Billionaire right now, while you sing “Cause I repeat the same routine.” It’s why you’re just now getting up… STOP!

And I don’t mean with the tears. The tears are alright, acceptable, and the only answer because anger… Okay, yes, I’m angry but let’s talk about something else. B? It’s always B, Little B, Monsieur B, Pancake, Wee Little Puppy Man, B III, B Squared, Triple B, Braxton’s many names. But you’re not putting them down in a book. Hell! The one book you got? Of course, that was my fault last week. Only what were you doing before you faced me in the mirror? You were in front of a camera, but we’ll get to that. If only Braxton were here, you would never. I brought up this week my Republican tendencies, but I’m not a Muslim either. Being a father, a good man…

  1. I WILL BE Finishing Tender is the Flesh by Agustina Bazterrica, Sarah Moses
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE Finishing Gathering, My Braxton’s Albums
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE Sending Gulp Off To Be Published
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE Keeping It In My Pants (Day 001 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 002 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

Well, one that doesn’t forget Six Impossible Things but more. For Triple B, I wanted to be “strikingly upright; an outstanding example so that those in the darkness can see the power of the light.” That’s from the film Malcolm X (1992). I started reading The 1619 Project, which I doubt you’ll finish this week. So, of course, in the meantime, you’ll pick some book on pet loss and cry about Little B coming back. Tears only springing a leak. You wish. Because as I said, what were you doing this morning after crying… Jerking. Didn’t Malcolm say, “I will not touch the white man’s poison; his drugs, his liquor, his swine, his women.” Bacon and white women… 2B (drools). She was created in Japan.

  1. I WILL BE Finishing Through My Dog’s Eyes: A Memoir to Help Heal…
  2. I WILL BE Finishing Gathering, My Braxton’s Albums
  3. I WILL BE Sending Gulp Off To Be Published
  4. I WILL BE Keeping It In My Pants (Day 002 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE The Man My Son Thinks I Am

Now, if you’re done looking up Nier: First Assembly. And forgetting Six Impossible Things yet again. What, I can always say I made eight bucks for my body. On the other hand, you are lazy and horny for no damn reason. You can’t even admit you’re watching new movies on Tubi. Not that I ever had or you will. It goes with To B, that’s all. So okay then. Do I have any words of advice for this coming week? I wasted the last one for sure, and again I’m angry. And for all the tears you will shed for your boy, you might as well do something for him. Hell! Cease becoming, begin to be. You should tell Cherry that. To B, 2B, Tubi.

Gospel 339 ~It’s Not B Con~

490 Days Without B III

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Chronicle 338 ~When Will I B~

WillLeave a comment

When will I be? The GQP talks a lot of S*** about when life begins. Most days I spend lamenting when my son’s life ended. Bad choice of words. Furry with four legs… no less my son. One worth living for because for myself, I still ask. When will I be

Saturday, June 4, 2022

Chronicle 338 ~When Will I B~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Billionaire right now. So that means I should get used to being interviewed. But I find myself censored more.

When will I lose this Republican ideology? That’s not the question I meant to start with today, but I’m tired for many different reasons. Even getting up at 4:00 AM. Ok, and then? When will I start writing… well, anything for real? As I said, I struggle to get up. And that’s with January 31, 2021, and January 11, 2022. And now, Camp NaNoWriMo will begin next month. As I said yesterday, besides the urge to pee, there’s the need to write. When will I do anything at all? Yesterday it felt like there was so much to do. And yet I feel like nothing was accomplished. Not a damn thing, Lady Lunalesca, but missing my boy. Mourning Braxton is my PROFESSION. I’m no Spartan.

Willy, what is your profession? Lunalesca, there are so many places I can go with that. Am I talking about, Stuff and Thangs, OnlyFans, just being, um, skeevy. Fucking word! Luna? Is it the fact that I don’t know who I am anymore? Not even how to spell my name? My name? As if it were ever my own, to be honest. Hell! I’ve always hated it, so you know. What am I doing with this existence? If the last few minutes are any indication… Well, I was going to say wasting my time. My time? Nothing belongs to me. Or that’s what I feel. Every day there’s one more reason to miss my son. Now he was mine because he chose me above all.

Why? Now that is the question of the hour. Um, several hours considering what I’ve been doing since, yes, 4:00 in the morning. Now it’s 6:30 AM, and what do I have to show Lu? Why do I exist in this routine? It’s not even a Saturday routine. It’s the wake-up, write, and/or post. Either go to the Day Job, the store, there’s PetSmart, and it all leads back to this bed to do nothing in the slightest. Nothing is stopping me from staying in bed. Closing my eyes B. Why aren’t you trying to find me? I’ll never get his eyes out of my mind. Can you blame me for going to PetSmart? It’s where I’ll be. But to LIVE? When Will I B

Gospel 338 ~B The Dream Within~

489 Days Without B III

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Chronicle 332 ~Better Be Worth It~

WillLeave a comment

“Tender Is The Flesh…” is it worth it? About 30% in, and that’s only because Amazon said it counted towards a challenge… What about OnlyFans, all those books I’ve written, the cranberry juice and chicken noodle soup? Better Be Worth It… doubtful

Sunday, May 29, 2022

Chronicle 332 ~Better Be Worth It~

To Will:
I AM a Billionaire right now, but what’s that worth to you? You hate the Day Job, a dream deferred, a “Song Unsung.”

Are the tears worth it? They make their appearance even later this morning. You’ll keep doing it, that I promise. It’s been 483 Days, and a tear has fallen for B III. Each and every one. While I was busy not getting tattoos, think about this. One lonely teardrop, hmm? You can be all Cry-Baby with it, and you’ll never need to cry over your Lost Boy. Never again. But is that you or Braxton? Do you need to be confused and weird this morning? Not to mention all the pop culture references. It wasn’t audiobooks last week but music. Us and our lists, right? It’s like being back in school, writing out the questions, and having no clue for the answers. Six Impossible Things:

  1. For What It’s Worth ― Buffalo Springfield
  2. He Got Game ― Public Enemy
  3. Song Unsung ― Eden White
  4. Cry-Baby ― The Honey Sisters
  5. Lost Boy ― Ruth B.
  6. It Doesn’t Matter ― Alison Krauss
  7. It Doesn’t Matter ― Wyclef Jean, The Rock
  8. Love T.K.O. ― Teddy Pendergrass
  1. I WILL BE Finishing Healing Solutions for Pet Loss: Goodbye Is Not Forever
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE Finishing Gathering, My Braxton’s Albums
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE Sending Gulp Off To Be Published
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE Keeping It In My Pants (Day 001 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 001 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

Is one even worth it? It’s the only one that I ever do. And I doubt you’ll do better. Hell! You won’t even want to do your one because it’s the first story, not about grieving. If it’s any consolation, they killed off all the doggies in the story. But if Amazon fucked you…
That damn challenge! You’ll find out if the title’s “Final Frontier.” If it’s worth anything. But that goes for a lot of things in life. You’ll look on this week and see It Doesn’t Matter. Alison Krauss or Wyclef Jean version? Again, It Doesn’t Matter! What is it worth today? In the past few minutes, what have you done? Braxton’s water bowl, hoody, he’s still dead! Like, these Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE Finishing Tender is the Flesh by Agustina Bazterrica, Sarah Moses
  2. I WILL BE Finishing Gathering, My Braxton’s Albums
  3. I WILL BE Sending Gulp Off To Be Published
  4. I WILL BE Keeping It In My Pants (Day 001 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE The Man My Son Thinks I Am

Now Braxton was worth it? “Takin’ the bumps and the bruises, of all the things of a two-time loser,” Teddy Pendergrass sings. Um, that’s eight now? And inevitable memories? All this knowledge and all these trinkets, do any of them make any difference, really? Without your phone, wallet, keys… oh don’t forget your glasses and the mask pocketed always. You can never forget your dick, ha, and that’s quite the subject, long, hard, sorry. Martin Luther King Jr. said, “A man who does not have something for which he is willing to die is not fit to live.” There’s plenty which you would die of out of fear, shame, or pain. But something to die for? Without Braxton, you don’t know. Better Be Worth It

Gospel 332 ~When B Moved On~

483 Days Without B III

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Chronicle 331 ~You Wouldn’t Believe B~

WillLeave a comment

You wouldn’t believe B; I need more sleep. That’s what I told my son plenty of mornings as soon as the sun was up. And afternoons after work. You wouldn’t believe B if he told you those were the best days of our lives. And now You Wouldn’t Believe B.

Saturday, May 28, 2022

Chronicle 331 ~You Wouldn’t Believe B~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Billionaire right now. I should say I’m crying right now. Disappointed, Discombobulated, playing with my dick. Could be true

You wouldn’t believe B AHEM, “when somebody loved me, everything is beautiful.” Hell! All I know is that I never want to open my eyes. Be it 2:30 AM to discover all the lights are on. My standard for waking up at 4:00 AM is because I want to be “Successful.” 5:15 AM? You’ll have to excuse me about the time. This morning, I discovered the last day, I felt “normal.” Well, I take that back. I haven’t felt like that since Braxton died but let’s say healthy… Tuesday, January 11, 2022. The question is, what am I going to do, Lunalesca? At the moment, not a damn thing. But when it was my ear… I was listening for B III. Dick ain’t helping anybody.

You wouldn’t believe B if he said that his Dad would find a way to save us both, Lunalesca. I’m trying Lunalesca. And yes, I know you could go all Master Yoda on my ass. But again, speaking of my ass. That’s what led to my discovery this morning. All it takes is getting out of your head. My big one or the one I’m damn-near always using, Lu? The one from Friday, um yeah. Then there’s my writing. Didn’t I say some lady asked me about it at the Day Job? Well, another girl asked yesterday. Talk about trying not to be discovered. I’m the guy with a dead fur baby. What more is there to me these days. Going through albums, not Braxton’s.

You wouldn’t believe B thought he was dying and that I wish… Haven’t I said enough dangerous words this Saturday? It’s not even 7:00 AM, Lunalesca and all I want to do is go back to sleep. Of course, you know I haven’t left the bed yet except for nature’s call. Again with what happened on January 11. I’m thinking about Sunday, January 31, 2021. The day I told my best friend goodbye. At least this morning, I wished a Happy Birthday to Cherry. I don’t know where I was at 25. As far as my Emergence Day, well, to sing you a song Lunalesca, “the dreams in which I’m dying are the best I’ve ever had.” But “Endure and Survive.” You Wouldn’t Believe B

Gospel 331 ~B In Present Tense~

482 Days Without B III

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will