Lesson 266 ~Thou Doth Protest Too~

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I’m starting with the man in the mirror but usually, that’s a discussion for another time, today people all of the U.S.A. are trying to hold that mirror up to the country while I just lie here, my body protesting life. Thou Doth Protest Too

Saturday, March 24, 2018

Lesson 266 ~Thou Doth Protest Too~

Hey Lady Lu,
I Am Not Fine Today or at least that’s what my body tells me; to be sure I had so many plans today but I stayed in bed just down for the count and my mind was playing tricks on me. Am I going to be all creative now and mention music or going to see Pacific Rim: Uprising, you’re probably the second person I can talk to about that film honestly.

Too bad the silent treatment isn’t exactly welcomed at work, as it would even matter, to anyone, too many people speaking for me anyway and how can I resist; I know it sounds pretty in song form, but that’s what I have been thinking about lately. Later on today people will be protesting against what’s wrong with this country, and there is a small bit of me that would like to join them. Not trying to sound suicidal but my body is protesting life itself, and that shows that things need to change if I would only just get up.

When did I turn all political, I know things can be better Lady Luna and it is scary to think that they can’t be and then I get angry because I know, I can do this, emphasis on DO but honestly what do I want to protest? Hell haven’t I tried, did I tell you what happened at work, that my First Amendment rights don’t exist, for the moment I still have my job. Again there is fear that everything would fall apart for me if I fought back but isn’t it already, trying to keep those with oh so fragile egos together, think Meg from “Family Guy” just saying.

There’s also so much to fight for, too much, every day there are petitions, animals in need crimes being committed and I want to help, but I was looking at my budget the other day, besides what little pleasures I allow, McDonald’s trip, a movie. Now, how about Starbucks, just enough to buy a small drink to soothe my conscience and anxiety to sit in a coffeehouse and hope for something that may never be.

Resist is what I have learned today, okay one more song “Man In The Mirror” Lady Luna how often have I told you about that line in Schindler’s List, “save a life and save the world entire” and that’s what these kids are doing, fighting to save their lives. I lied, the last song Pray For Me “You need a hero, look in the mirror, there go your hero” so if I want to save myself, Thou Doth Protest Too.

I Will Have No Fear

Lesson 265 ~The Keyword Is Working~

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Turn her or in this case them, into literature; I’m always writing about the ladies or to the ladies, and my latest story is headed in that direction too but is that what it takes to get me to write? The Keyword Is Working, writing, doing.

Friday, March 23, 2018

Lesson 265 ~The Keyword Is Working~

Hey Lady Sophia,
I Am Not Fine Today is something I can’t say at my day job of course but speaking of things I can’t utter or do at one position, how about talking about my career as a budding writer; yeah I’m still in the dirt. My next story is going to be plenty dirty as well, not that I have anything to worry about like people seeing it but consider this a business lunch Lady Sophia, another one of those six impossible things.

What I mean is I’m thinking about the story I’m going to write for Camp NaNoWriMo in April, hell I made it in November, and that’s another novel I should be thinking about come this year but one step at a time. Why do I feel the need to put myself in all of my stories and if I’m going to be in a story how about some nonfiction, besides this, “March For Our Lives” is tomorrow and I could take part but the best thing I got going is a trip to Starbucks. I’m still pining away for a love story that starts in a coffeehouse but who wants to say they met someone in a strip club honestly.

Anyway, onto the facts, the current idea running through my head is about a hitman who makes his targets sin, so he has a valid excuse to kill them; oh, and should I mention his victims are female. Don’t ask me where the idea came from though it does bring to mind a song here or there “T.N.T” from AC/DC, “Move Bitch” from Ludacris feat. I-20, Mystikal, and “Butcher Pete” from Roy Brown. Don’t worry I’m not going to spoil it for you Lady Sophia or myself for that matter. One because I’m not sure where I’m going with it yet and two I feel I have spoiled myself enough, avoiding Pacific Rim: Uprising and Unsane spoilers but diving headfirst into The Walking Dead, what was I thinking my Lady.

As far as ladies for my current project; I feel like Ethan Cole from “The Director” by Lily White. So ladies, Fiona Belli from “Haunting Ground” and Ashley Graham “Resident Evil,” Haley Pullos, Claire Abbott, along with Christina Lucci (Model), I might add some more. I know I do not sound original, being honest… at least I didn’t say zombies but now when I think about it; no I’m working seriously The Keyword Is Working.

I Will Have No Fear

Lesson 264 ~My Love Is Blind~

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As the song goes, “I want to f*** you like I’m never gonna see you again,” but maybe she hasn’t noticed me, the real me, my pretty words, replaced with dirty urges and so I’m not much to look at or listen to I think. My Love Is Blind if this is love.

Thursday, March 22, 2018

Lesson 264 ~My Love Is Blind~

WARNING, 18+, READER DISCRETION ADVISED

Come In Dirty Diana,
I Am Not Fine Today, and no there aren’t any body issues… okay, maybe a few as I still avoid mirrors but that’s more of an emotional thing than physical, though I did say yuck in a Walmart dressing room. Anyway, my lesson for today is that you can’t avoid all mirrors, namely the eyes of a woman to be honest.

Now they say love is blind true enough, but it starts with attraction because without that how can you move forward, even the internet is like that, could you imagine people falling in love sight unseen? Dirty Diana this is getting to be a bit more emotional when I meant it to be physical; so yes in the everyday world people like to think they see all, but in the bedroom, well there are handy ways around that. Personally, I like to watch a girl’s eyes, even men want to feel desirable, but I can’t see that happening in my foreseeable future, but okay let’s say I get lucky soon.

There are reasons for a blindfold; again I’m having a bit of trouble between my emotions and my desires (one of my six impossible things), but I’ve been thinking about Beauty & the Beast, not the fairytale though I have some Belle outfits for a potential submissive. I mean Skye Warren’s take on how even when Erin and Blake were together, how he didn’t want her to see him; it reminds me a bit of Cyrano de Bergerac and how his words got another man laid. No fucks given, yeah because I gave all my pretty words to other guys so they could bed girls and here I am, alone again naturally, the song plays.

So why would I want to blindfold a woman; I’m sure I told you before about my tentacle fetish and the idea of using several dildos along with my cock to simulate a rough gangbang, now wouldn’t that be something. How about “Revenge of the Nerds” Lewis and Betty, now in that Lewis was wearing and mask, but Betty was blind to who he was, didn’t this technically count as rape seeing as how they fucked but she didn’t know and if she had maybe…

I could go darker you know me; Dirty Diana, my fantasies are better left in the darkness but the girl I love one day she’ll understand… My Love Is Blind.

Lesson 263 ~Every Sweet Refrain Repeats~

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How often do I go to work without my headphones, why do I fight so hard when the stereo in my car is acting up, there’s plenty to hear, and plenty I wish I could just turn off, but those things are from music. “Every Sweet Refrain Repeats.”

Wednesday, March 21, 2018

Lesson 263 ~Every Sweet Refrain Repeats~

Forgive Me Echo,
I Am Not Fine Today, no matter what my favorite song tells me and that’s not a crime is it, to be in love with a song, in this case being “Easy Street,” such sweet torture for other people that is. There are some songs that you can’t get out of your head and then there are others that are just asking for a power drill to the temple; no worries though, didn’t you ever wonder why I named you Inspector Echo?

Now I’m not talking about songs like “Pjanoo (Club Mix),” did you think something like that would make me ashamed, hell the only problem with that is I don’t need another gay guy hitting on me. How easy was that to say, music speaks and I listen and when it comes to actual people trying to talk to me… perhaps that is another sin for today; I don’t want to listen to people and talk about being picky, to paraphrase Much Ado About Nothing “God match me with a good singer!” To think this was once my greatest sin the belief that I was ever a good singer I sang in the church choir I screwed up verses, I sang with the kids instead of my age bracket when I was a teen. I stayed an alto for far too long and dare I sing now, just because I want too maybe, shall I try?

How about my hatred of music, now that Inspector Echo, is indeed a crime but as they say hate is easily a teaching tool often. So I have my father to thank on behalf of my mother, and for once I wasn’t profiteering, but “No Charge” from Shirley Caesar was playing and let’s just say I despised that woman until U Name It. Speaking of women, I despise; another song that makes me truly ashamed is “Something Just Like This” every time I hear it the word “skeevy” echoes in my mind and to add insult to injury “Oops (Oh My)” and that’s because I was just that. Now “Sexy” from Peter Cincotti was in the movie Straight A’s To XXX and is this only song on this list that doesn’t make me cringe, but it gives me deliciously devilish, dirty, depraved desires for Haley Pullos and other pretty ladies.

So will you forgive me Inspector Echo for using music as a crutch, for using it to torture and be tortured, for my pain and shame, for my hatred of it, for the memories, and that there is so much more but as the song goes Every Sweet Refrain Repeats.

I Will Have No Fear

Digging Up The Tomb Raider

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I suppose anything to get out of America nowadays, and a pretty girl always helps though I doubt she will be anything like Lara Croft but can’t a guy dream, not that this movie will put you to sleep. Digging Up The Tomb Raider, indeed.

Some things are better left buried, and some things are just discoveries and Tomb Raider is a real discovery, or I should say Alicia Vikander as Lara Croft; as I told a friend other than thinking Lara Croft is hot, I can’t say I’ve played a lot of the Tomb Raider Series. Honestly, I like Alicia way more than the Angelina Jolie versions as Alicia’s Lara was to an extent, should I say believable, real, you could feel her character more, a more visceral hero.

Seeing as how they are trying to bring back the franchise, I give them points for their faith in this film, this is more of an origin story of Lara Croft, with throwbacks to how she became the “butt-kicking” hero we know her to be. Tomb Raider being probably the second movie I’ve seen Alicia in, I’m pretty curious to see more of her as she has yet to disappoint; if only the film tried as hard but it’s decent. Daniel Ku with another Into The Badlands alum did their thing, but who watches Into The Badlands, just me, so go and watch this movie.

Pleasing the Fandango gods first let’s now get to the real just like Lara Croft or maybe more like the villain of the movie Walton Goggins as Mathias Vogel, not that this movie made me want to go “home,” though I did look at my watch more than I would like. I didn’t go into this movie with great expectations, give me a pretty girl, a bunch of guns and… hey, I thought this was America; does nobody know Randy from South Park either? I should also say the trailer song “Survivor” filled me with a bit of nostalgia, and how about this “blasphemy,” I like the trailer way more than the original Destiny’s Child.

It sounds like I’m making excuses to why I was interested in this but movies nowadays give away so much in trailers and Tomb Raider didn’t have to do that for obvious reasons being around as long as it has. Though you know what’s coming there are still plenty of twists and turns along the way as there should be, an almost “The Twilight Zone” feeling which also works well.

I don’t remember much from the original franchise but Alicia’s Lara starts as a poor, nowhere near invincible ragamuffin with daddy issues, she’s hot, did I mention she’s hot but not is some overly sexualized type of way, though the story lets us know she’s a “fox.” Even the villains are somewhat on the broke side and working just a bit less industriously than the slaves; I can’t help but wonder though set in London was that a directing choice, familiar looking down on wealth?

Yes I’m trying to stay out of the political realm, so what about the mystical story of Himiko, while that tale made sense, the idea of Lara’s father pursuing it or even Trinity is a bit of a stretch, with his money and their control. Also, Lara taking to the bow so well, yes she’s trained, but while her first kill without it brought forth such emotion, the following battles were a bit empty of such though Daniel Ku brought up a bit of the slack. Which is another thing, again Trinity held so much power but rested on fate to find labor or attempt to uncover the tomb though that would have been too much of a throwback to other versions, attacking the manor?

While Vogel is a decent bad guy, that’s just it; he’s just villain number one, he didn’t seem to have a solid plan which makes Richard Croft ridiculous. The bad guys don’t know so I’m going to set up shop at the front door, just to say you can’t come in. Now while not pivotal plot points, Lara returned to the pawn dealer but what about her training or her other job, yeah she didn’t exactly need it but was the beginning nothing but filler?

Am I asking for this movie to be longer… no way and the fact that it isn’t like any of its predecessors is a high point, only it does seem a bit rushed at times, and there wasn’t enough back story to fill it out. At least it won’t be one of those horrible video game to movie examples, if anything it’s just a blip on the radar, almost as if they were afraid of going too far with it.

Huge risk and high reward but no I believe three stars is quite enough; not a waste of money but if honestly pressed I would have watched Black Panther for the fourth time and as Tomb Raider is concerned, would the 3D version add anything honestly? Now I should probably put up a spoiler warning as if I haven’t given too much away already; everyone already knows where the film is going without any doubt.

There are no real saving graces even if the film was a bit la dee da; nothing stood out on screen for me besides Alicia’s beauty just wow and maybe figuring out one of the puzzles in the tomb. I already mentioned the one song in the trailer but as for the movie itself only Doing Me by RAY BLK is worth writing down. Another female hero for little girls I suppose and no bloody moments though, not entirely kid-friendly, but with the things on TV now I say go ahead and take the kids; I’m the cool dad, but I only have a dog.

My favorite part would be a toss up of when Alicia gets all Lara Croft minus short shorts; she’s wearing pants just saying or the somewhat iconic scene at the end when she indeed becomes; gamers will recognize. The worst was again the overall plan, sort of like Amy ruining Indiana Jones for Sheldon and the boys but tombs got to get raided right? At least they avoided some of the standard tropes like zombies; I swear there was a scene I expected a mess load of zombies, but yeah people can be horrible enough all on their own nowadays.

In all, this is a good movie to go and kill two hours, and I am somewhat disappointed this hero won’t get as recognized as other but I work retail, and they still aren’t giving Black Widow props, but that could be more to do with her weapon of choice. Only Lara has her bow for nearly the whole movie so. Three stars, more than worth a little bit of gas but keep your expectations just so low and like pretty girls and you’ll be Digging Up The Tomb Raider.

Cat Man, Black Man, Wow

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Wakanda Forever, to think I’m a black man that doesn’t like my people most of the time but this movie was a fun time in every sense. Though I am not one of the blind followers, but who’s reading, just see Black Panther. “Cat Man, Black Man, Wow”

I’m not sure there is enough praise, from astounding to zen-like for Black Panther and I choose wow. How could I do this movie justice and would it not be adding my admiration to the chorus of so many others? I could also go for all the drama and ideology from some regarding this movie and let me start by saying that just being an African American man has nothing to do with it and I can’t call myself a comic book nerd, just saying.

If anything as much as Chadwick Boseman and Michael B. Jordan did in this movie, you have to give it up for the ladies; sexy, seductive, and sensational, and personally, I’m having a hard time deciding between Lupita Nyong’o as Nakia and Letitia Wright as Shuri. Bring everybody to see this kid-friendly but enough to keep a grown man on the edge of his seat not to mention all of the stunningly beautiful visuals. As for the “Tolkien White Guys,” they were superb as well though there is one significantly glaring aspect that I think everyone is ignoring but what can I say Wakanda Forever.

Okay Fandango has been appeased so let me get a little more real with the rest of you, first and foremost I’m not your typical black guy, the only other Chadwick Boseman film I’ve seen is Marshall, and that’s because I got free tickets. I saw Captain America: Civil War because of all the hype surrounding it but Black Panther I’ve been excited about since the announcement came around. I don’t find myself agreeing with “my people” half the time, my whole life I haven’t been black enough but that’s another story, and finally, Black Panther gets one of his own, nearly devoid of other heroes, end credits, stay put.

Again there were plenty of heroes in the whole life of Wakanda, dare I say one too many maybe but I’m getting to that, but in all, I’m proud both as an African American, a Marvel fan, and just a moviegoer, I saw it twice. In case you’ve been under a rock, Black Panther is the story of the newly crowned king of the futuristic African nation Wakanda, T’Challa/Black Panther.

That right there blew me away which is indeed a sad fact, since the reason we want kids to go out and see this movie is the portrayal of positive black role models and showing a side of Africa even fictional that shows greatness and nobility. It’s a thin line considering how depictions of Africa are often but to add this incredible sci-fi universe and continue to embrace the traditions of the people and continent, incorporating all of it together.

As I am with the ladies, which battle I found more epic has me split. The ritual fight scenes and environments, yes CG but it didn’t matter I was mesmerized, and those fights might have been more incredible than Black Panther’s suit no offense. The Casino scene though, a great battle but just the idea of three black individuals and not that it hasn’t shown up before but T’Challa, Nakia, and Okoye just pounding away on a bunch of criminals, no suit, no guns, and no freaking mercy. Now the final fight and oh yes spoiler alert that’s what took me out of the movie a bit though and I can’t say this enough, but it was astounding and with a humorous moment or two.

There was plenty to laugh at most of the jokes were on point, maybe one or two just today’s pop culture such as “what are those” and the video Shuri was recording that you know would end up on YouTube. I think I’m starting to decide more on Shuri now, funny, intelligent, hot as Hell, though I know many women will side more with Danai Gurira/Okoye for her strength, I swear is there anything that Danai Gurira can’t do, guns, swords, spear, etc. I can’t leave the quiet moments out with Angela Bassett/ Ramonda/Queen Mother trying to protect both of her children Shuri and T’Challa or how about Daniel Kaluuya/ W’Kabi, Winston Duke/ M’Baku, there was not one single bad performance in this film honestly.

There were lessons to, that I think some might miss based only on race, for example, Wakanda’s policies reminded me of this America First mentality, and that the youth can and will lead, and how can one man be free if all men are not free. Personally, I saw myself siding with Erik Killmonger for most of the film, maybe he didn’t have the best ideas to “save the world,” but he made his points.

Now, this is where the rubber meets the road I have two facts that need to be made clear, the first isn’t so terrible but the second is going to make a lot of people mad like that’s anything new. Just know I truly enjoyed this film, I plan on getting it as soon as it’s available, hell speaking of points I could see it (without 3D) for free, and I paid twice. Also if you don’t want any spoilers, time to turn away and I might make someone mad.

My first point which isn’t much, black on black violence, a usual talking point for the alt-right and no I’m not talking about the ritual combat which I found to be exhilarating, heroic, and noble; I mean the civil war. In a movie that has brought about so much black unity in reality, that showed 4 out of five tribes in Africa united there still was a war, Black Panther and Killmonger were one thing, but again it’s demonstrated that black people all over can’t get along because of our differences. Now King T’Challa at the United Nations pushed for unity across the globe which was one of the best lessons, but I wonder about the battle of the three tribes is it just forgotten?

Okay, the highest point is the final battle the objective was to keep Wakanda’s weapons from getting out, Black Panther had to reclaim the throne in the long run I understand, those that sided with Killmonoger needed to be defeated and hello ladies. The thing is who was stopping the weapons, who was “saving the world,” who risked himself and fulfilled the primary objective… survey says; Martin Freeman/ Everett K. Ross, the white man. Just once, just one freaking time I want any minority to save the world, to protect themselves without a white man playing the pivotal role, and I’m sure there is some movie that it’s happened but ladies and gentlemen this is not it, despite my praise.

Everyone was playing there role I understand Shuri wanting to fight alongside her brother, Nakia and her love, Okoye and her troops but seeing as how they left the Queen Mother, hell give Angela Basset something to do with it. In all a fabulous movie by Marvel, allow me to sound like a little kid and say I want to be Black Panther, okay more like Killmonger, so Wakanda Forever, Cat Man, Black Man, Wow.

Lesson 262 ~WILL Rest In Pieces~

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Being swept off your feet, or as the song goes “Love lift us up where we belong,” is there any wonder we aren’t all broken with all this falling and such, hearts are a lot stronger than I think but they could still lie broken. WILL Rest In Pieces yep

Tuesday, March 20, 2018

Lesson 262 ~WILL Rest In Pieces~

Dear Future Wife,
I Am Not Fine Today; sometimes I think that living for the love of you, my heart has grown so much that surely it can’t all be there and I don’t think it’s supposed to be actually.

You’re my wife, my lover, my best friend; well, the dog might have something to say about the third; anyway what you are not is the maid, though there will be days when everything has its place and others when it looks like a crime scene. Neither are you a therapist, well who knows but I will try to keep it together, the house is one thing, but as for myself, all I need is time and you, I still believe. As Chris Rock said once “Every woman on the planet’s a spy.” You will never have to piece together my love for you; you’ll know that every single day, you’ll find it my babydoll.

I see that in those pieces of me, of you, of us in the next room, maybe I do wrong my heart too much, fragments growing into full hearts all on their own and I need not worry but of course I always will because that’s my job. Love can be one great puzzle so how are any of us even to begin putting it all together, how many pieces are there in total, what have I lost along the way, yet keep it together?

A single kiss from your lips and my words are not so broken, and when I find them again I love you doesn’t seem so complicated, and it doesn’t seem big enough either but there is such peace discovered there. Even more so when I have my arms around you, how can anyone be so fragile and still be stronger than anyone I know, I want to keep you but I cannot contain you, and it feels like I might break at any moment and when I have, when I do and when I will… All Of Me as John Legend sings, and here I am trying to sweep you off your feet again, but in case I haven’t made this clear, I’m your Humpty Dumpty, and you’re my Wonderwall.

You deserve so much more my love than to stay beside a broken man but you do, and while I might never know why; one piece of me will wonder, another will try harder but someday, somehow beside you, here and now, forever, and always I WILL Rest In Pieces

I Will Have No Fear

Lesson 261 ~Be Who My Dog Deserves~

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Who’s a good dog, if he doesn’t know that by now then I am honestly no type of father and despite all my failures, being the man that he needs me to be is something that I can not afford to fail, not ever. “Be Who My Dog Deserves”

Monday, March 19, 2018

Lesson 261 ~Be Who My Dog Deserves~

Twenty-Fourth Rule Madam Justice

I Am Not Fine Today but that doesn’t matter now does it, because when you love it merely means you put them ahead of you and the more love you give, the more returns to you or so I’ve been told that’s how it works. Think about it, most pets have four legs, birds have wings, other pets have their qualities, and yet they say that a dog is man’s best friend; such real words.

“All I know is that the boy was my charge. And if he was not the word of God. Then God never spoke.” The Road

Sometimes I ask myself, what great sin did this dog have to commit, earning his lot in life; I remember begging and pleading with my father for a dog, and sure my sister and I had my grandma’s dogs, but here my sister never mentioned a dog ever. Next thing I know my father walks in with this few pounds of fluff for her; I raised him, I did all I could do, and when the time came to move it wasn’t a question, just get in the car. We have fought side by side, bled together, same enemies, saved each other’s lives, and perhaps one of my greatest sins is that he turned out to be like me, which begs the question, what on Earth have I done wrong?

“He’d grown up just like me
My boy was just like me” ― Harry Chapin, Cat’s In The Cradle (1974)

I know I’ve said that I pretended that my future wife is watching me and I want to be better because maybe if I am; if I can be that man I may be able to find her finally. At my age I know I’m not ready to be her boyfriend, her man, her husband. Then again I wasn’t prepared to be a father, to think I scoffed when I watched all the other kids with the “Pumped Up Kicks” including my sister making babies and despite everything, I could say I wasn’t making such decisions, taking such risks, and somehow that made me better. Only I have Madam Justice, I have when it comes to my dog, and I have to make it right which means as the song goes I must be The Best Man I Can Be.

He just made Level 13 on February 13 and as I often tell “Indiana Gone,” “I love him like pancakes,” and I look forward to him being Level 20 and beyond but I’m not stupid for once; he has a heart murmur, he’s developing cataracts. The vet says surgery is risky but if there is a chance? All I know is I can’t name five humans that I love or love me that equal him. I love him enough that every day I even ask him, “are you a happy puppy, is this your best life,” I want him to meet my family one day. I need him to know that I’ll be okay that as I loved him, he saved me but most importantly of all I need to Be Who My Dog Deserves.

I Will Have No Fear

Lesson 260 ~Bring On The Trades~

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How much is it all worth, how much are you, maybe I should get a price tag tattoo, so people will stop thinking of me as one colossal clearance, no a crown wears more than any mask I believe. Bring On The Trades, because I might be ready to carry it.

Sunday, March 18, 2018

Lesson 260 ~Bring On The Trades~

To Will:
I Am Not Fine Today, well that’s different from my usual I Am Not Afraid Anymore so why not trade a lie for the truth; because the truth will set you free but that doesn’t mean this nonfiction is free, not even here. Our conversations are perhaps the only place where I can say these words, “this is life,” “another day,” “this sucks,” “Is there anywhere else,” and much more; the world wants you to be a bargain, don’t be, you hear me?

“You Won’t Be Anyone’s Bargain,” that will be going in the rulebook or whatever you choose to call it one day. You sell yourself too cheap, and yes this is your fault because you just want to be taken and you’re just too much, too “EXTRA” as the kids say these days. It also takes more muscles to frown, than to smile but you can bear that load, and maybe you will trade it in but why do people insist on stealing; your general manager just wants to take everything, just like your father, just like everyone. You know why that is; because a crown weighs more than a mask; is that yet another rule? Speaking of trades you must make, what about those six impossible things, anything you feel like trading for once today:

1. I Will Keep It In My Pants (Day 01 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
Completed (Day 08 No Fap)
2. I Will Work On The Submissive’s Closet But Buy Nothing (Budget?)
Partial Completion, No New Clothes But Overbudget (Tomb Raider on Friday)
3. I Will Post Two Reviews On My Blog
Failed
4. I Will Spend No More Than Eight Hours In Bed
Failed
5. I Will Spend No More Than Eight Hours On My Laptop
Failed
6. I Will Be The Friend My Dog Deserves
Failed

When will you trade failure for success but already you’re doing, yes do you will, as though you could ever be as wise as Master Yoda, or as Ben Franklin said early to bed, and to rise; at least you have that rise part down at the moment. It was 4:25 AM when we started talking which isn’t a big deal considering how often you sell your soul for $10.40 an hour; why not sell your tears for sweat and make every drop of blood worth a damn. How can you, that’s what you’re asking yourself when you can’t even do these six impossible things:

1. I Will Keep It In My Pants (Day 08 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
2. I Will Be The Friend My Dog Deserves
3. I Will Finish Reading “Galahad Suns”
4. I Will Get Ready For Camp NaNoWriMo
5. I Will Finish My Tomb Raider Review
6. I Will Stay Gainfully Employed

It’s just so damn hard you know, keeping those two cents in your pocket and then be asked a penny for your thoughts when they are worth a dollar; yeah the music helps thank you RayBLK and The Band Perry. Trade But Don’t Betray Yourself, the last rule for today which sounds a bit like don’t sell out, but didn’t I say everyone has a price, somewhere don’t you think.

Just think about it like you’re writing your book, you take people and trade one name for another, why can’t you do the same Will, so Bring On The Trades.

I Will Have No Fear

Lesson 259 ~Here Comes The Sun~

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I’m not tired, to the contrary I’m quite tired, but it’s nothing that sleep can cure… did I just say that; I’ll probably be out all day but then again how is that different from any other day just slipping away? Here Comes The Sun

Saturday, March 17, 2018

Lesson 259 ~Here Comes The Sun~

Hey Lady Lu,
I Am Not Afraid Anymore, but if that’s the case, why can’t I sleep, it’s nearly four in the morning and trust me I slept but I woke up at maybe twelve, and I’ve been up ever since, in more ways than one… Reasons I stay awake and yes being horny is one. Yesterday was a real nail-biter, but I got back in touch with “Cherry,” wrote that song for the dog, talked to Lady Sophia and even worked on my novel some at the behest of “Indiana Gone,” I even went to a movie, “Tomb Raider.”

Hell is that not what my bedroom has become, am I not a vampire, with everything I have survived I must have super strength, I don’t see myself in the mirror, I leave in the dark and rush back to the house, I live off watching people bleed. If I’m not a vampire, I would say, zombie, with my phone I don’t need to have a brain, I eat enough to stay animated, and I’m not too picky, I jump at loud noises and usually have to investigate them. How about Frankenstein’s monster, awake only to do my master’s bidding, whoever that is at the time and if I didn’t have that then what’s next?

Is it my depression, do I need another song idea besides Nina Simone or Usher “Confessions Part II.” Fortunately, that’s Wednesday’s problem, and I’m still looking forward to being employed? Now you can see why I would rather be the monster in this scenario because what was that about not being afraid, again I’ve been up and scared to death about my job before. I wish I could say I’m finishing up everything that I need to do today, yesterday, the day before, reminds me of my math class and just writing the problem over again and again, these days I just make lists that keep getting longer everyday Lu.

You’re not a chore more a habit, and I keep asking myself where the time goes when I’m not looking up porn or sleeping as you can guess, I don’t have much of a life, judging by the things we discuss. So like a real therapist you ask me why I’m not sleeping like someone sane this night, and that is just something else I’m going to have to learn.

What have I learned today, when the day hasn’t even started yet, maybe this is just my standard work time, and that’s sad that I’m getting ready for the inevitable conclusion of getting fired but still Here Comes The Sun.

I Will Have No Fear