Tag: Books

Saga 112 ~Sounding Like B, Virgil~

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I wish I could say, “you’re just like your brother.” Or rather, “you are your brother.” I’m leaning more towards V Being Virgil. But when I leave, it’s like hearing two dogs instead of one. But when I hear those nails clacking… Sounding Like B Virgil

Friday, October 21, 2022

Saga 112 ~Sounding Like B, Virgil~

Hey Lady Sophia,
I AM a Billionaire right now, and I still think about cloning my son. If ashes were enough. Another reason to cry…

No, that’s been Virgil’s thing for at least a week, maybe more. As I’m sure I’ve told one of the girls, I didn’t notice until recently. It sounded like two dogs fighting every day (sigh). Isn’t that precisely what’s happening? Braxton isn’t going anywhere, and now Virgil is here, so… Am I giving up on the reincarnation bit? I’m reading “Come Back: Reincarnation, Our Pets, Second Chances” by Tina Proffitt. It’s “different…” weird, madness, inevitably? I believe I will see Triple B again. Unfinished business, like all the stories I have written and haven’t done a damn thing with. That’s another reason I cry every time I see my Day Job schedule. A triple to Hell and Hell! Virgil shares the sentiment as Braxton did.

Well, once upon a time, at least. Soon B’s tears turned happier. He wasn’t crying when I left but with my return… I’d say I read the situation wrong but lacking thumbs; he had his little tail. Yeah, he would cut through the air with that thing. His hair remains everywhere, Sophia. But now Virgil is adding on. Although his birthday was nothing to write about Sophia. But here I am, trying. I bought him a burger and fries, that’s it. What about a gift, a toy? Um, I was talking to Braxton’s Aunt yesterday, telling her about 2V’s first vet appointment. Besides my waterslide dream, I was dreaming about what the vet might say about Virgil’s nails. That’s the only reason I’m reading paperwork.

I want to know if Virgil can get his nails clipped before then. We had an incident yesterday when one of his nails got wrapped in the pillow. I had to cut him loose. Remember how B was about his paws? After I got Virgil free, I almost said something. Sophia, I wanted to say, “Well, you did better than Braxton.” Sophia, that’s a never, for damn sure. Only now, Virgil’s starting to walk from Braxton’s room to here… Courage? And me being the selfish bastard I am, you know what that means. No more Triple X if he can waltz in here anytime. How about when he starts talking back like B learned to? Is Virgil conversing with my Braxton? Sounding Like B, Virgil

628 Days Without B III, Day 069 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 111 ~Won’t B Long Virgil~

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Happy Birthday, Virgil!!! I haven’t said that out loud. I have to remember to say his name a few times a day. He was “Archie” for a year and 9 months. Hasn’t been Virgil for 3 months. And how long has it been since picking up B … Won’t B Long Virgil.

Thursday, October 20, 2022

Saga 111 ~Won’t B Long Virgil~

627 Days Without B III, Day 068 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? I suppose I should ask Virgil that; it is his birthday, after all. He’s 2.

You remember Braxton how I would rail about politics. Hell! I should go watch porn. Braxton, I gave you a real time-out when I killed you 627 days ago. That isn’t even remotely funny, I know. Do you wish I would stop saying that? No politics or porn, but Petsmart? Mark this day in your calendar, well, yesterday, anyway. I went to Petsmart to the back. Banfield Hospital, and set up Virgil Vivi’s first appointment since he’s been here. Not today. Braxton, V’s first appointment will be next week. In the middle of another horrible one. If I had done that for you, you might still be alive. I’m trying B, honest. I was almost in tears yesterday. And not one has been shed today.

Give it time. Virgil doesn’t know about the appointment, age, or the aches and pains of this life. Who am I to say that? Besides being a lazy ass when coming to talk to you, I was also doing some research. What? I’m not for the GOP. Now you B, on the other hand, Build the Wall; well, at least the fence around the yard. And you hated everybody, my little misanthrope. Like father, like son, but I hope you made time yesterday to say hi to your aunt. Better yet, scratch that. Her anniversary and all. I’d say you killed my sex life, but we both know that ain’t true. I was busy trying to diddle the maid. I can’t talk to her either.

Now, what was I saying? Oh yeah, research. There was a time I believe that Virgil was born in February. Giving credence to your reincarnation. But again, V’s paperwork today. I want to say he’s 14 in human years, but from what I read today, he’s closer to 24. What am I to do with that, you know? But you know what makes me a horrible person, B III? It’s the fact that I WAS thinking V was closer to death. Don’t get me wrong, Triple B, I’m not a… what, murderer? No harm will come to him, but I don’t love him. With you, it was love you B, love you, Braxton. With Virgil, it’s LATER; his appointment, his birthday, and having his own things. Won’t B Long Virgil.

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Saga 105 ~Virgil Speaks, B’s Words~

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I never read anything of B III’s puppyhood, so his birthday is February 13, 2005. But I’m most sure of the day, the hour, the moment he left me. I got V’s papers. What about my own? No wonder my eyes hurt. And my ears? “Virgil Speaks, B’s Words”

Friday, October 14, 2022

Saga 105 ~Virgil Speaks, B’s Words~

Hey Lady Sophia,
I AM a Billionaire right now, which means I have the time to train Virgil with those buttons that say words, right?

More like I’m showing how lazy I am because I don’t need a billion to do that. Now bringing Braxton back from a pile of ashes… That’s dark. But I’m not reading about reincarnation anymore. Then again, I don’t know. Time-Travel, Sunday, October 9, 2022. Which, of course, is why we’re talking today. This week sucks something awful. No, I don’t mean me. Sorry, sex talk, and I am trying to curb back. How I punish myself. How I wish. Why not with reading? Every time I finish a book, unlike these conversations, I have to see what I’ve done. All the books I’ve read, and I’m shooting for 52 in a year. Of 41, only 5 haven’t related to dogs in some way Sophia.

I’m sure we’ve had this conversation before. Or was it with the other girls around here (sigh), “It Doesn’t Matter?” I don’t deserve any respite. “The Cabin at the End of the World” was the only one I CHOSE to read. As I told Braxton’s Aunt. I’m always for an apocalypse. Again that happened on Sunday, January 31, 2021. I sit on the loveseat. Not as often as I like, but I do. Only reading there… Hell! I might have had the energy before Tuesday, January 11, 2022. I know I keep focusing on those dates. The GOP be damned. Sophia, I don’t run from history. But that history is resulting in some big bills. As you can see, I didn’t visit the doctor today.

What about Virgil? I could take him to the doctor, and the groomers on his birthday and finally, say I’m trying to do right by him. Yeah, tell that to Braxton after 15 years. Starting with a schedule from the Day Job (shudders). I had no idea that would be B III’s last day. Why not read a receipt if I decide to pick up food now or the Friday you read this, Sophia? In the end, many years from now. Oh, it makes me sad or exhausted; I’m not sure anymore which is worse. I’ll read some paperwork about Virgil. By then, I’ll have B’s name on my flesh. I know Virgil. Braxton, he’s not will repeat my firstborn’s words. Virgil Speaks, B’s Words

621 Days Without B III, Day 062 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 104 ~ Virgil’s Resting B Face~

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I wish we could go back to wearing masks. I mean, nothing’s stopping me. Well, three shots, four if you count the doc taking my blood. But that first year, B always recognized me mask and all. And in 2022, Virgil looks at me? Virgil’s Resting B Face.

Thursday, October 13, 2022

Saga 104 ~ Virgil’s Resting B Face~

620 Days Without B III, Day 061 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? As always, your guess is as good as mine when it comes to this day.

Once again, Braxton, I’m time-traveling. But I will never forget the face you made when I’d come back. I’m trying hard not to cry today or give myself any reason to close my eyes. Blinking? I still do that plenty when I think I see you. Hell! It was only this morning when I called for you to take your medicine. We’ll get to me taking mine or the lack of meds in a minute. Only today is Saturday, October 8, 2022. But if there is one thing I know for sure, when it comes to 620 days, “I’ll Be Seeing You.” That sounds ominous. I mean, B, I’ll always see you everywhere I go, forever and always. Most of all, I’m protecting your spots.

Oh, what about your pillow? I wish I could have seen my face then. Now that’s strange coming from me, who avoids mirrors. To take a good look right now, B, all then and now. I’ve been worried about if the medicine is changing me. I’m sure I had a smidge of hope before. Today, I’m fearful. Three pills left. I only got a week’s supply to beat this infection. Do you remember how I became? Whenever you were running out of meds? The first time I almost killed you. Of course, that vet we hated was the one that saved your life. Maybe Braxton… Yeah, I got the thought that he could have saved you 620 days ago. Tears…

Not many days go without me crying over you. It’s not like Virgil is watching. And to further jinx myself. V hasn’t been hacking up all over the place. I wonder, has anything changed for him, for you? Today is one of those that I don’t believe but come Thursday? All I know is I looked into his eyes today, and you know what I saw. There was only black. I didn’t see myself or his happiness. To this day, I remember the last look in your eyes, Braxton. Why? Virgil’s face has those two tan furry patches beside his eyes. The color of you. Are you trying to tell me something, Braxton? I might be better served looking in the mirror. He Lives In You. Virgil’s Resting B Face

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Saga 098 ~Virgil’s Story, Yet B’s…~

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55 days and how has Virgil’s life been so far. What, he’s hacked up… oh nothing. It nearly scared me to death. When I discovered it was part of B’s heart problems. I’d gladly taken it myself. Beats feeling like this always. “Virgil’s Story, Yet B’s…”

Friday, October 7, 2022

Saga 098 ~Virgil’s Story, Yet B’s…~

Hey Lady Sophia,
I AM a Billionaire right now, which means I should have all the time in the world to read, learn, and cry.

Would Braxton’s story make me cry? To be honest, I don’t know, considering I haven’t looked at the two that I’ve written in how long? I’m trying to find the time. But don’t get your hopes up that this is the second time we’re talking today. Whatever do I want? Sophia, it could be to visit the doctor. Is the pain getting worse, Sophia? Do you remember when I told you or one of the others that I’ll choose physical anguish over a mind fuck? Pardon my language. If anything, if you are reading this, as Pearl Jam puts it, “I’m still alive.” But I wish I wasn’t. Will I be getting over this “feeling” anytime soon? My B III. NO, NEVER, AS IF. Virgil?

Loneliness? I can’t say I look at him the way I look at Triple B. Or Triple X, for that matter, Sophia. It’s been a long day? And without any fur baby to stop me. Hell! B III could see. Besides the loneliness, I’ve been talking a lot about Braxton’s lack of reincarnation… to be. Is that why Virgil has been in Braxton’s room all day. Well, except for a few bathroom breaks. What I wouldn’t give for V to be in one of many rooms making a mess, Sophia. What is he a Disney princess asking “When Will My Life Begin?” He barely makes a sound unless it’s hacking up a lung. And seeing as how I’m down here and he’s up there? Braxton?

Is he in Heaven, at the Rainbow Bridge, in a box? I’ve been saying it… the last couple of books have been people in boxes. This whole house is one giant coffin, I think, sometimes. And I’m trying not to make a sound. I’m going on how many times listening to the Succubus Lord series. No grunting over some girl. How many days has it been now since I failed this week? Friday, September 30, 2022. And no griping about work to Virgil. But I’m sure I’ll keep sharing fries if there is any money to spare. Ha-ha. I need a new book after The Cabin at the End of the World. Only I’ll end up texting about Virgil Vivi. What? Virgil’s Story, Yet B’s…

614 Days Without B III, Day 055 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 097 ~Virgil, B Missing You~

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B knew his spot on the bed. Virgil’s acquainted with his pillow. I really need to get his nails cut. Yet there was a plague at Petsmart. And with V’s hacking from me petting him. He might die or I might, walking that one aisle. Virgil, B Missing You.

Thursday, October 6, 2022

Saga 097 ~Virgil, B Missing You~

613 Days Without B III, Day 054 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me Baby B,
Did you have a good day? Three guesses as to how my day was. I don’t know yet, with Time Travel.

I don’t remember when I stopped crying over you. Did I cry for you today? Again considering how Thursday went. Today is Friday, September 30, 2022. So not yet, Braxton. I didn’t even nap today to remember how you would lie beside me. Or you would be on guard duty. And Virgil hasn’t been in the mood. Braxton, I’ve been giving him space, B III. Plenty of room. But what if I gave him all the room in the world? Oh, I’m not taking him back to the Rebeccas. I’d like to think I’m a better person than that B III. What do you think? Every day I look at him more and more, and I’m beginning to suspect he ain’t you. Are you lonely?

I don’t know how to broach this subject without having the cops rushing here crazy. Braxton, maybe that’s what my dream was about. The lawman charging in here for me. Silly me, and here I thought it was for a crime. I’m sure I told Lady Sophia or Dear Future Wife something like that today. Hell! The crimes I have committed only today, my friend. As Sade would sing, “Is It A Crime?” I’m a black man living in America, B. I’m sure you don’t miss my political tirades. With “All These Things That I’ve Done.” You remain my worst crime. Your death is a tragedy. Mine would be… nothing. A parent, a dead child… SPOILER ALERT!!! The Cabin at the End of the World.

I don’t know how it will end yet, but I’m close. I see myself as Eric, walking with your body into a lake. You know, the thought of drowning scares me. A true punishment. If I were a man, I would have brought you back here. I’d laid you at the corner of the bed, your guard post. I would have lain in bed and gone to my drawer with the… Well, you know what I’m thinking, and here come the tears now. I’m alone anyway. Braxton, what about Virgil? It ain’t love, and if you’re reading this, then well, veterinarian? If it’s not nerves. V’s birthday and he needs a checkup; to make that walk to Banfield. I’m so lonely. Virgil, B Missing You.

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Saga 091 ~Virgil’s Vigil, B Lonely~

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Next to B III sitting at the foot of the bed, staring out the door on guard duty, I miss how he’d cuddle up next to me while I’m reading. Virgil tried that for a bit, but um, I’m toxic, and he’s in B III’s room by himself. “Virgil’s Vigil, B Lonely.”

Friday, September 30, 2022

Saga 091 ~Virgil’s Vigil, B Lonely~

Hey Lady Sophia,
I AM a Billionaire right now, which means I can invest in security cameras. Well, more than now. With such “Paranoia, paranoia!”

And no, not about B’s ghost. So is that it then; I no longer feel that B III has been reincarnated? Um, the last few books have been more dead people than fur babies, Sophia. Only Virgil hasn’t been around to hear any of this. Nope, this morning Virgil’s alone. Yeah, I’ve only walked into Braxton’s old room to check Virgil’s birthdate. Sophia, for the record, it’s October 20, 2020. Braxton Barks was still living during this period. I haven’t been shopping around Amazon for Virgil Vivi’s birthday gifts either. The Adoption Kit that I got, I’ve buried in a notebook behind porno. Don’t ask. But I have searched online for what could be wrong with him and all his hacking. A toxic “best friend?”

I swear he and I need to go and see a doctor, but I’m not ready to read those damn bills. It could be worse. There’s a reason I haven’t been watching much YouTube or wrestling, either. Do I need to watch the world go to Hell or see how fake it is? Blasphemy. To be honest. And I’m not sure how much I can do with you or anybody these days. I would go see a doctor. But next week will be more fucked up than the last, so Time Travel. Lots of writing to do today if I don’t fall asleep again. Not that my dreams/nightmares are lonely. The last one I saw the cops bursting in (pick a crime) and woke up.

Of course, I don’t have the time… Ha-ha, to write it all down. And I’ve pretty much forgotten the dream I had about Virgil/Braxton about a week ago. There are the books in front of me. I’m trying to listen to Succubus Lord 19 whenever I “need to” monologue into the void. I’m still reading “The Cabin at the End of the World.” How’s it going to end? There’s been death Sophia. Which reminds me, haven’t I written out my eulogy someplace? Yeah, I’ve been in a mood for days. In case someone is keeping tabs, I’ll leave it there. Only like the song, “Oh God, I’m gonna die alone.” I said Virgil’s by himself. Trying to keep him alive. Sigh, Virgil’s Vigil, B Lonely

607 Days Without B III, Day 048 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 090 ~Can Virgil B III~

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B III’s life or my own… no question, he’d be here. Virgil’s life or mine? Well, it’s only been 47 days. I don’t want it, and he certainly deserves it. Maybe I should stick to the dog books and not movie trailers. Knock at the Cabin… Can Virgil B III?

Thursday, September 29, 2022

Saga 090 ~Can Virgil B III~

606 Days Without B III, Day 047 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me Baby B,
Did you have a good day? It sucks that I wasted another one. Yeah, where have you heard that before, hmm?

At least then, I was talking to you. And look, here come my tears for Tuesday, September 27, 2022. I’m starting to feel like the dude from “Quantum Leap” or “The Time Traveler’s Wife,” B Squared. More like Triple XXX as this talk should have been had… Um, way back when. Hell! It would be better if we could talk on Thursday but, you know what. Humiliations Galore, B III. And on days like this, you would come running to cuddle. A minus against Virgil Vivi… On the other side of the equation, Virgil’s beside me Tuesday. One of these days, I will answer the question, is Virgil you or not? I can’t think about that right now, sorry to say. No, not because of that… A book inspired me?

I still feel bad that I’m not reading a book about dogs. I’m sure I’ve talked about the movie Knock at the Cabin and the novel; it’s from “The Cabin at the End of the World.” Now, your daddy’s an asshole, but you would listen to whatever. Anyone else, beware. SPOILER ALERT!!! So Daddy Eric, Daddy Andrew, and their daughter Wen have to choose. Out of the three of them. One has to be sacrificed at the hands of the two. The world will end if they fail to choose or follow through with the sacrifice. I’m 30% done with the book. It should be 75% by the time you see this. Did I want to say it out loud? Yes, no, I don’t know.

But it got me thinking again. First of all, you were or are… the jury is still out on Virgil. Well, my apocalypse buddy. We were or are supposed to face the zombie horde together. If there was a choice between your life and mine, there is no question. I would have taken your pain, Braxton. I would die for you. A part of me did. I watched you die. Writers play God, but we are not so. Throw Jesus to the wolves, and Hell, I take my own lumps, but I would not give you up for the world. And then I look at Virgil. If you were here… I’m not letting him go… yet, but his life, I wonder. Can Virgil B III?

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Saga 084 ~See V, B Leaving~

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Dreams are messages. What’s my latest dream/nightmare telling me? It didn’t even star my son but Virgil, but I had intense emotions as if it were B III. It’s been 600 days without him. He’s saying that’s enough. Heart hardening, etc. See V, B Leaving

Friday, September 23, 2022

Saga 084 ~See V, B Leaving~

Hey Lady Sophia,
I AM a Billionaire right now. So, I wonder, are there any machines that control dreaming? Dreams were pretty “intense” last night.

Shouldn’t I call them nightmares, then? Hell! Even dreams, I would say, are “good….” I always say everything I want is impossible, illegal, or insane. Add inane or inconsequential to the mix. I make everything about me, don’t I, ha. The eye in Will (sigh). But my dream was about Braxton. Only it starred Virgil. I haven’t distinguished the two. I should be reading more books on reincarnation and the like. Yet, I’ve been all in on “The Dog Under The Bed” series. Don’t I sound like a little boy? A fucking idiot! Uh, language. It’s not like I can cuss out my “father,” though. Humiliations Galore, where I lay my head, Sophia. And let’s not forget the Day Job and another manager. So dreaming…

I was right where I am now, in bed. The first thing that should have made me take notice of the dream was that Virgil was running down the stairs. He was in a rush to go out like Braxton once was. So why visit me in dreams? Again I never saw Braxton, only Virgil. Opening the door, Virgil rushed out and down the patio steps into the backyard. But then he was sniffing around like he was trying to find a way out. First, V jumped high and escaped. It was as if he was flying. Then the fence fell, and he got out again. A third time he slipped under the fence like he was a bit of slime or mold. Okay, no porn, please, fuck. My mind…

Each time I was able to capture him and bring him back. I don’t know how but I did it. After a while of this happening, there was commentary from a DJ, more like a podcast. You know I can’t stand podcasts… I think. Then there were these black kids watching. One goes, “I don’t like him,” about me, it was a little braided girl. Then I woke up. Before I started looking for that movie “Knock at the Cabin.” It’s the book “The Cabin at the End of the World.” Oh yeah, can’t forget the “Mold” porn. I’ve wanted to buy bricks and cinderblocks for the backyard. Making the house a prison? That’s how this existence feels. My personal Hell. See V, B Leaving

600 Days Without B III, Day 041 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 083 ~To B Broken V~

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I never had the heart to get B fixed. And I didn’t have a say regarding V. What’s done is done. He has other things wrong, and I can only imagine what happened. As for me, breaking again, broke perhaps, and broken always. To B Broken V

Thursday, September 22, 2022

Saga 083 ~To B Broken V~

599 Days Without B III, Day 040 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me Baby B,
Did you have a good day? Considering I’m talking to you on Sunday, September 18, 2022. And you can probably guess…

I keep saying it, Braxton. Anytime I feel that this existence is too much, all I need to do is whisper your name. The day you left makes everything look more bearable. Even my Emergence. I know I need to stop. But this damned month has been one gigantic clusterfuck. Pardon my French. I don’t swear around V… um or you. Mental Instability comes later, but this Sunday, I’m broken. Yeah, surprise, surprise. I’m broken every Sunday, but this morning, B. Isn’t it ironic that you knew you had to be quiet because The Walking Dead or a spinoff was coming on? Then I silenced you permanently. I know. I’m sorry, Braxton, it just hurts. You know me, B “I’m just a sucker for pain.”

First, I had a conversation with your grandfather about the air conditioner. His “friend” is coming to fix it Monday, which means… The Hell if I know, but Virgil’s temperature? Or what about my temperament? Again, we’re talking today because I’ll be in a rage come this Thursday. I hate myself, but sometimes it’s nice to have company. Oh, and money. With all the hours I’ve been getting at the Day Job. Did I mention more tits? Yeah, that was to the Man In The Mirror. Again it’s Sunday. And while I’m not ashamed to talk about getting off on nice tits. You liked your Aunt’s yabbos a lot B. I’m trying to get off a shift at the Day Job. I can’t take it.

So why don’t I publish a story and never have to walk into that Hell again? The burning in the house is nothing to my rage, madness, and the Humiliations Galore at the Day Job. I can keep cool with my betrayal of you in the Ninth Circle. I could save some cold hard cash. But what’s your grandfather planning these days? Hell! I forced a window open in some kind of way. You don’t mind me calling on your strength. But memories and guilt B. Especially when my body feels some sort of way. Like the heat, I usually try to ignore it, but it has its moments. Like the tears that appear for you around 4 in the afternoon. To B Broken V

Always and Forever,
Your Dad