Tag: Father

Saga 098 ~Virgil’s Story, Yet B’s…~

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55 days and how has Virgil’s life been so far. What, he’s hacked up… oh nothing. It nearly scared me to death. When I discovered it was part of B’s heart problems. I’d gladly taken it myself. Beats feeling like this always. “Virgil’s Story, Yet B’s…”

Friday, October 7, 2022

Saga 098 ~Virgil’s Story, Yet B’s…~

Hey Lady Sophia,
I AM a Billionaire right now, which means I should have all the time in the world to read, learn, and cry.

Would Braxton’s story make me cry? To be honest, I don’t know, considering I haven’t looked at the two that I’ve written in how long? I’m trying to find the time. But don’t get your hopes up that this is the second time we’re talking today. Whatever do I want? Sophia, it could be to visit the doctor. Is the pain getting worse, Sophia? Do you remember when I told you or one of the others that I’ll choose physical anguish over a mind fuck? Pardon my language. If anything, if you are reading this, as Pearl Jam puts it, “I’m still alive.” But I wish I wasn’t. Will I be getting over this “feeling” anytime soon? My B III. NO, NEVER, AS IF. Virgil?

Loneliness? I can’t say I look at him the way I look at Triple B. Or Triple X, for that matter, Sophia. It’s been a long day? And without any fur baby to stop me. Hell! B III could see. Besides the loneliness, I’ve been talking a lot about Braxton’s lack of reincarnation… to be. Is that why Virgil has been in Braxton’s room all day. Well, except for a few bathroom breaks. What I wouldn’t give for V to be in one of many rooms making a mess, Sophia. What is he a Disney princess asking “When Will My Life Begin?” He barely makes a sound unless it’s hacking up a lung. And seeing as how I’m down here and he’s up there? Braxton?

Is he in Heaven, at the Rainbow Bridge, in a box? I’ve been saying it… the last couple of books have been people in boxes. This whole house is one giant coffin, I think, sometimes. And I’m trying not to make a sound. I’m going on how many times listening to the Succubus Lord series. No grunting over some girl. How many days has it been now since I failed this week? Friday, September 30, 2022. And no griping about work to Virgil. But I’m sure I’ll keep sharing fries if there is any money to spare. Ha-ha. I need a new book after The Cabin at the End of the World. Only I’ll end up texting about Virgil Vivi. What? Virgil’s Story, Yet B’s…

614 Days Without B III, Day 055 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 096 ~B My Medication V~

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Love didn’t save my boy. And his kidneys did him in for all the heart meds he took. Well, more like the point of a needle. Every time some doc sticks me with a needle, there’s that hope. Bacterial infection, nothing more. B My Medication V.

Wednesday, October 5, 2022

Saga 096 ~B My Medication V~

Forgive Me Echo,
I AM a Billionaire right now, meaning I didn’t become a doctor. I despise most people, you know. Par for the course.

But how about a course of medical treatment? Oh, and not for my mental state. I cried this morning once again. All about my doggy, but there was also my depression and disgust, oh I know. It’s part of the reason we’re speaking so late at 5:55 AM. Am I not feeling good body-wise? I’m not sure yet but let’s start at the beginning. Which was last Sunday. Inevitable. Inspector, I went to see the doctor. And surprise, surprise, they found a bacterial infection. I don’t fear the point of the needle. As fucked up as it seems, pardon my French. It’s when I feel the closest to Braxton. I’m not one for self-harm… several “attempts” in my younger years which is another thing, Inspector.

I’m getting old. My hand to God, I never wanted to see thirty-eight. Hell! If I had a choice in the matter… I sound like one of those people from “The Cabin at the End of the World.” And how did that turn out? According to the doc, I’m an ordinary old man, Echo. After a bit of blood and peeing into a cup… TMI? They found I had something to fix for $17.00. Oh, and the $175.00 for going in the first place. Now I’m on the bottle and taking drugs… medication, ha. Again I feel close to my boy. I set alarms and down pills twice a day. Before I forget, my ears got cleaned. Or should I say “bukkaked?” People do suck.

But I am listening to the doctor and taking my pills, and then what? Will I listen to Virgil Vivi? I couldn’t save him from the heat when there was no AC, and now Inspector? Honestly, I don’t know if anything is wrong with him. And this week, Inspector Echo? Fucking same excuse when Braxton was dying? I don’t even remember what was so humiliating when he was trying to tell me something was wrong. I can say to you yesterday was the most fucked up day I’ve had in Inspector. Humiliations Galore! It Doesn’t Matter! My love didn’t save my son. And it’s not love when it comes to Virgil. At least not yet. For the Love of Money (sigh). B My Medication V

612 Days Without B III, Day 053 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 094 ~Evil Prevails Despite Good People~

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I can’t say I see good people daily. I know I’m no damn good despite those 2 “things” at Petsmart. Adopting Virgil and running out to a lady that forgot a bag. No earthly good at all. With what I see. Evil Prevails Despite Good People.

Monday, October 3, 2022

Saga 094 ~Evil Prevails Despite Good People~

Two-Hundred and Sixtieth Rule

Madam Justice
I AM a Billionaire right now, which means I’m not a good person. Well, at least all the billionaires I know are evil.

Which isn’t to say the poor can’t be evil. I’d still be me even if I didn’t have a dime to my name. Yes, I’m saying I’m broke and evil. As far as being a better person. I miss Braxton. Here come the tears today, Tuesday, September 27, 2022. “Make Me Wanna Die,” or instead cry, as I doubt I didn’t wake up in Hell. Well, a part of it anyway. Then there’s V. Madam; I want to do right by him, I swear. Yet I’ve said why he got his name, Virgil. He’s a good boy, a good man considering he’s going on two in October. Did I mention how much I hate paperwork? It told me his age and everything. Braxton being reincarnated…

Anyway, his name yet again. Virgil for the man who led Dante through the Inferno. Vivi, for the black mage child who stood against evil in Final Fantasy IX. Pornography? Madam, that’s how easy it is. I think Final Fantasy and then, well… If I had a dollar for every piece of Final Fantasy XXX I own. Oh, and it gets worse if we talk about other games. In case you’re wondering why I’m so late finishing this conversation today. Two words Madam, NERDY GIRLS. Wondering what I’ll tell the PERV in the Mirror Sunday. I hope it’s not that I wasted more money. No matter where the cash goes at the end of the day, I’m afraid that the evil I am will remain.

For good people like Braxton’s Aunt and M Anime, I can’t fault Cherry for not wanting to bring more children into this world. Then I turn back to Little Virgil on his pillow. Well, one of Braxton’s anyway. I know good people but dogs are the best for sure. Hell! This entire existence is based on the idea if I ever had enough money, power, and women, I could be a good man. How many times have I said fatherhood is the epitome of manhood? But again, I know fathers, and I know billionaires. It doesn’t make you good. FEAR Madam. The truth, like Braxton, the thought of living without it… Just be less evil… I can try because, Madam. Evil Prevails Despite Good People

610 Days Without B III, Day 051 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 091 ~Virgil’s Vigil, B Lonely~

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Next to B III sitting at the foot of the bed, staring out the door on guard duty, I miss how he’d cuddle up next to me while I’m reading. Virgil tried that for a bit, but um, I’m toxic, and he’s in B III’s room by himself. “Virgil’s Vigil, B Lonely.”

Friday, September 30, 2022

Saga 091 ~Virgil’s Vigil, B Lonely~

Hey Lady Sophia,
I AM a Billionaire right now, which means I can invest in security cameras. Well, more than now. With such “Paranoia, paranoia!”

And no, not about B’s ghost. So is that it then; I no longer feel that B III has been reincarnated? Um, the last few books have been more dead people than fur babies, Sophia. Only Virgil hasn’t been around to hear any of this. Nope, this morning Virgil’s alone. Yeah, I’ve only walked into Braxton’s old room to check Virgil’s birthdate. Sophia, for the record, it’s October 20, 2020. Braxton Barks was still living during this period. I haven’t been shopping around Amazon for Virgil Vivi’s birthday gifts either. The Adoption Kit that I got, I’ve buried in a notebook behind porno. Don’t ask. But I have searched online for what could be wrong with him and all his hacking. A toxic “best friend?”

I swear he and I need to go and see a doctor, but I’m not ready to read those damn bills. It could be worse. There’s a reason I haven’t been watching much YouTube or wrestling, either. Do I need to watch the world go to Hell or see how fake it is? Blasphemy. To be honest. And I’m not sure how much I can do with you or anybody these days. I would go see a doctor. But next week will be more fucked up than the last, so Time Travel. Lots of writing to do today if I don’t fall asleep again. Not that my dreams/nightmares are lonely. The last one I saw the cops bursting in (pick a crime) and woke up.

Of course, I don’t have the time… Ha-ha, to write it all down. And I’ve pretty much forgotten the dream I had about Virgil/Braxton about a week ago. There are the books in front of me. I’m trying to listen to Succubus Lord 19 whenever I “need to” monologue into the void. I’m still reading “The Cabin at the End of the World.” How’s it going to end? There’s been death Sophia. Which reminds me, haven’t I written out my eulogy someplace? Yeah, I’ve been in a mood for days. In case someone is keeping tabs, I’ll leave it there. Only like the song, “Oh God, I’m gonna die alone.” I said Virgil’s by himself. Trying to keep him alive. Sigh, Virgil’s Vigil, B Lonely

607 Days Without B III, Day 048 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 089 ~B III > V~

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My “father” “encouraged” me to read the book “1984.” He also had me read “Animal Farm” and the quote, “All animals are equal, but some animals are more equal than others.” Such “A Great Big World,” and I’m worried about AC. “B III > V”

Wednesday, September 28, 2022

Saga 089 ~B III > V~

Forgive Me Echo,
I AM a Billionaire right now, which means the only symbol worth a damn to me should be a dollar sign $.

Today has been all about pageantry, tradition, and symbolism. Like you, I’m getting sick of Time Travel. Today is Monday, September 19, 2022. And maybe it’s the fact that I’ve been watching Queen Elizabeth II’s Funeral all day long. I’m dead tired. Not funny, Echo? Hell! Not a day goes by that I don’t relive my son’s death. And by the time you read this, I hope Virgil feels better. Yeah, I’m hoping he’ll chill. I think he’d like to be put on ice. Again not funny. To be honest, he does need to see the vet with his birthday coming up in October. But that means I need the cold hard cash. But considering what’s happening an hour or two from now. Air Conditioner.

And that’s why I am ashamed. Roman Numerals were never my strong suit. Unless you’re talking about them someday making a Final Fantasy XXX. Triple XXX in general E, ok. First, it needs to be said that by the time you’re reading this, I hope I’ve gotten out of the Day Job today. Yeah, I need the money, but I can’t do what they ask Echo. I hate shoes, ok. Second, since I don’t have the money, who do you think is paying for the Air Conditioner repairs? I sound like a spoiled, entitled asshole. Daddy Wasn’t There indeed, sigh. Finally, for the love of money. I told him I didn’t have the money, and his friend fucked up twice. $630.00 flushed down the toilet.

Dammit! How much money has been wasted on me, and I don’t even know who I am, Echo? It could be worse. It’s like being one of those signs on a restroom door. That’s low. Politics? I know I’m a man. Inspector, I love tits, legs, and nice lips. My only confusion is what girl in the porn I’m going to blow my load to. Pornography, Echo brings zero shame. But the fact that I might need to hide what money I have left. I’m a man that can’t provide for myself or my… Was I going to call Virgil my kid? No, Braxton is my child, my son, firstborn. Losing him was everything. My “father,” Day Job, wants the rest. B III > V

605 Days Without B III, Day 046 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 087 ~OTHER PEOPLE’s Freedom Causes PROBLEMS~

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A man once sang… “and there’s not much love to go around.” Can the same be said of freedom? I’m not much of a fan of existence. And to be free? With the cash, the right skin tone, and something between my legs? OTHER PEOPLE’s Freedom Causes PROBLEMS

Monday, September 26, 2022

Saga 087 ~OTHER PEOPLE’s Freedom Causes PROBLEMS~

Two-Hundred and Fifty-Ninth Rule

Madam Justice
I AM a Billionaire right now, which means (ahem) I’m above the law. I’ll tell you, Madam, I’ve been trying to avoid politics.

That doesn’t make me a good American. Hell! If anything, I only care about being a good father. And whatever I am to Virgil. I still don’t know what I am, to him being honest. There’s plenty of time to think about it considering we’re talking on Sunday, September 18, 2022. Why so soon? Well, you know why that is, Madam. “Freedom Ain’t Free,” right? Even now, I can’t help but wonder how much I have left after the air conditioner got fixed, Madam. I’ll never be free from this fear of my “father” until he’s in the ground… free. And when that happens, so what? I’m still screwed. Why couldn’t I use my Republican tendencies to lie? Because I want Virgil’s freedom from Hell.

You could say I wanted the same thing for my son. I freed Braxton when there was nothing more I could do. With his passing, I freed myself from the only one I ever loved. But, wait isn’t freedom the word and not love? Freedoms of horrible human beings, ha. I believe it was Simon Phoenix, played by Wesley Snipes, who said. “Look, you can’t take away people’s right to be assholes.” Now I can live with being an asshole. It’s everything else, Madam. The things I’ve been worrying about for weeks. The thermostat temperature. Goddammit, Madam! I’m talking about the things I want to buy. The fucking love below. Between OnlyFans, Twitter, etc. “All These Things That I’ve Done.” What I’ve said to women…

At least I’ve canceled myself for the most part. I’m not threatening others’ existence… GOP. Again I’m not into politics at the moment, but you know the code I “exist” by. Everyone has the right to do whatever they want as long as they don’t hurt anyone else that breathes. Madam, of course, if we’re talking about the bedroom and it’s consensual. I’m a sadist. Today I’m also a slave. I am my father’s son. I look at V, and if anything, I’m his person. But as far as the freedom to do what I want? That would take money and power. And women… a cheerleader, gymnast, aspiring model, and dancer? Freedom to bring back the dead; my son Braxton. OTHER PEOPLE’s Freedom Causes PROBLEMS.

603 Days Without B III, Day 044 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 084 ~See V, B Leaving~

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Dreams are messages. What’s my latest dream/nightmare telling me? It didn’t even star my son but Virgil, but I had intense emotions as if it were B III. It’s been 600 days without him. He’s saying that’s enough. Heart hardening, etc. See V, B Leaving

Friday, September 23, 2022

Saga 084 ~See V, B Leaving~

Hey Lady Sophia,
I AM a Billionaire right now. So, I wonder, are there any machines that control dreaming? Dreams were pretty “intense” last night.

Shouldn’t I call them nightmares, then? Hell! Even dreams, I would say, are “good….” I always say everything I want is impossible, illegal, or insane. Add inane or inconsequential to the mix. I make everything about me, don’t I, ha. The eye in Will (sigh). But my dream was about Braxton. Only it starred Virgil. I haven’t distinguished the two. I should be reading more books on reincarnation and the like. Yet, I’ve been all in on “The Dog Under The Bed” series. Don’t I sound like a little boy? A fucking idiot! Uh, language. It’s not like I can cuss out my “father,” though. Humiliations Galore, where I lay my head, Sophia. And let’s not forget the Day Job and another manager. So dreaming…

I was right where I am now, in bed. The first thing that should have made me take notice of the dream was that Virgil was running down the stairs. He was in a rush to go out like Braxton once was. So why visit me in dreams? Again I never saw Braxton, only Virgil. Opening the door, Virgil rushed out and down the patio steps into the backyard. But then he was sniffing around like he was trying to find a way out. First, V jumped high and escaped. It was as if he was flying. Then the fence fell, and he got out again. A third time he slipped under the fence like he was a bit of slime or mold. Okay, no porn, please, fuck. My mind…

Each time I was able to capture him and bring him back. I don’t know how but I did it. After a while of this happening, there was commentary from a DJ, more like a podcast. You know I can’t stand podcasts… I think. Then there were these black kids watching. One goes, “I don’t like him,” about me, it was a little braided girl. Then I woke up. Before I started looking for that movie “Knock at the Cabin.” It’s the book “The Cabin at the End of the World.” Oh yeah, can’t forget the “Mold” porn. I’ve wanted to buy bricks and cinderblocks for the backyard. Making the house a prison? That’s how this existence feels. My personal Hell. See V, B Leaving

600 Days Without B III, Day 041 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 082 ~B Lazy Today V~

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Even after “All These Things That I’ve Done” to this body and mind, let’s not get into the soul. I’m much too lazy now. That’s the point. Existence won’t quit me. That would be ok if I was the Queen. Are people still talking about her? B Lazy Today V

Wednesday, September 21, 2022

Saga 082 ~B Lazy Today V~

Forgive Me Echo,
I AM a Billionaire right now, which means I can afford to be lazy. But since I’m lying and we’re talking today…

That would be Sunday, September 11, 2022. It’s like I’m back in school, which isn’t good. Hell! This whole damn day isn’t great. With 9/11, the fact I wasted all of E-Day week and the week after was horrible. Ok, that’s a guess, but Humiliations Galore, I bet. Do you know one of the reasons why I prefer the truth? Lies take so much work to keep up. Fiction isn’t a lie, but it is make-believe, and an author writes what he sees. And as the song goes, “smiling faces tell lies, and I got proof.” It’s called my book, which exhausts me looking at it. But then what do I call talking to you and the girls? I keep saying I’m not a prophet.

No, I’m a fucking Lazy Ass. I’ve talked about my greatest sins. Treachery, Lust, Sloth. Inspector, not a day goes by where I don’t think about what I did to my son. With my luck, I’ll be somewhere cold and dark. Another reason we’re talking now instead of the 21st. You know I need to speak to B again. But I won’t say today. The only reason I’m even up talking to you is, um… Well, I’m up. Sex gets me up doing Extraordinary, horrible things. The types of things I wish were only in some dark fantasy. I want to go back to bed. Yeah, like I ever left except for nature’s call. There’s barely food in the house, and why is that Inspector?

Hell! Virgil might die because of the heat or boredom. I shouldn’t joke like that at all, and I apologize. I was telling Braxton’s Aunt; that I’m not sure what Virgil even likes. But he follows my lead by sleeping and not wanting to get out of bed. Yep, it irks me. He looks at going outside not as an adventure but as somewhere to be fearful of. Who am I to correct him on such a thing? I was about to say I’m his father, but there is no chance in Hell, which is what this place feels like with every passing day. Have I tried escaping it? Not ever! I’m contemplating someone bringing food. Thanks, Cherry and Succubus Lord. B Lazy Today V

598 Days Without B III, Day 039 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 080 ~ Love’s Not Design But Evolution~

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I didn’t know how to love on January 11, 2022. I think about what happened to my son on January 31, 2021. Always. Love can take seconds or a long time. To love yourself… First, I need to learn to live, but now I exist. Love’s Not Design But Evolution

Monday, September 19, 2022

Saga 080 ~ Love’s Not Design But Evolution~

Two-Hundred and Fifty-Eighth Rule

Madam Justice
I AM a Billionaire right now, and I think that would finally be enough for me to love myself. Not in Braxton’s time

I’ve said it before that I wasn’t happy even with Braxton. To save us some time, I hate myself, but I love my little Braxton. It’s been a while since I’ve said this, but “I love him like pancakes.” Hell! Pancakes sound good, but I don’t love myself enough to go get some today. Saturday, I was much too concerned, getting Virgil’s vittles and Subway. I can’t say I love him yet. I continue dealing with reincarnation and the like. It will take some time. Yeah, loving myself? Isn’t that what I’ve been doing all this morning before seeing you? The primal needs of man. A decent way to say I was jerking off, well edging anyway. And on today of all days. Shouldn’t I be ashamed of myself? Well…

For what? I have no love for the queen. I still believe this country could do with fewer politicians. That would make themselves kings or queens. Love for political parties or people. Oh no, ha. Power of the Pussy. Talk about being old and evolving from Roobie Breastnut’s song, ok. Don’t get me wrong, Madam, I do believe in love at first sight. Again where was I this morning? In bed moaning over some gymnast… on my phone. There was “Busty Coeds vs. Lusty Cheerleaders.” I would have been 26 when that movie arrived… Incredible. Though I hear you, Madam, that’s enough about the porno. But something that I love? Power, Pussy, and Pets. People, “we’re not built to kill,” but to love Madam J?

My son taught me more about that than anyone. Love can be learned but unlearned. That’s how it is without B. Everything in my body went out of whack. Because, for fifteen years, I had to evolve into someone capable of being his father. Came, saw, and all the rest. 161 days, so about 5 months and some change and now. At this moment, it’s been 6 days and 8hrs since the last time I “had a release,” and what’s stopping me besides busy hands? Because there is no power within them. I have not evolved enough to love, forgive, or… well, when it comes to my “father.” Braxton might have been designed by “God,” but loving me, that’s evolution. Love’s Not Design But Evolution

596 Days Without B III, Day 037 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 077 ~Fan Of B, V~

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I’m a fan of Mia Goth now. That’s from X and Pearl alone. And now MaXXXine? I’m not quite the fan of Virgil yet… I would tell my son, “Love ya B, Love ya Braxton. Replace Love with Later and switch the name. But V barks when I come back. Fan Of B, V.

Friday, September 16, 2022

Saga 077 ~Fan Of B, V~

Hey Lady Sophia,
I AM a Billionaire right now, or I’m doing my “best” to get there. At least, it’s what I told Virgil yesterday.

My “best” wasn’t enough to save Braxton. My first cry of today coming up. As you can see by the time, I’m pretty late. Yeah, unless it’s someplace, I don’t want to be and movies. Hell! I was gone most of the week that B III lay dying. And I even left him that Saturday because I was “hungry….” I didn’t think for a second that he would die while I wasn’t around. No, I’m not some asshole who would leave his son to die alone or amongst strangers Lady Sophia. But I am the douche that would leave my… um, Virgil in this heat. Honestly, I wanted to see that new movie “Pearl” starring Mia Goth. I’m becoming a fan, without a doubt (drools).

But to become a fan of anything or anyone these days. It’s horrible to think about, but can I go back to Monday, February 1, 2021? Let me be obsessed, addicted, and hopelessly devoted to my son’s memory. It beats how I’m living. Depressive, hopeless, clarity. Knowing the way down, you know. And I keep saying it. This place feels like Hell anyway, Lady Sophia. At least, Treachery is the coldest circle of Hell. Freezing, darkness. I wake up every morning pissed off that I’m not there. Three fans are blasting in my ears, and again I tell Virgil. I’m trying my “best.” Is it that I’m not quite a fan of his yet, going on what, 34 days? And I’m burning money, watching movies.

I’m burning at the Day Job in my anger. My Humiliations Galore reach incredible heights. There’s the next dog book I’m reading; I’m burning through pages. Not the GOP way. Yes, My Lady, I should text back M Anime. Um, she and Cherry get me all kinds of hot too. But that’s the thing; I’m a fan of the wrong things. So I keep blowing hot air and nothing else. Even my “father” is wondering why he isn’t getting a thank you from me anymore. Do you remember when I tried to make a deal with the devil? Losing blood. Hell! I’m losing everything, which happens when I’m not a fan of life. So adopting? I don’t deserve to be a Fan Of B, V.

593 Days Without B III, Day 034 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will