Tag: Fear

Log 065 ~Get Off Will’s Lawn~

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I suppose I should feel blessed. My “father” offered to pay if I find somebody to cut the lawn. I had a maid too once upon a time, and I’m looking for a new one. All Hell am I lazy or getting older. “Get Off Will’s Lawn”

Wednesday, September 4, 2019

Log 065 ~Get Off Will’s Lawn~

Forgive Me Echo,
I AM A Millionaire right now; only I lack a “green” thumb in other areas. The front yard is a mess. My firstborn is giving me looks about the backyard. Hell Inspector Echo, he’s an old man like me these days. Shouldn’t I show gratitude for being this old and having a yard to complain about anyway?

Yes, that comes from one of my motivations; start the day with gratitude. I start my day off with temptations, those two being today Tifa Lockhart and MILF Dos. I should also add Tessa Fowler to the mix. Seriously a fake FB profile of “Amanda Casanova.” Somebody knows my type of woman well That’s What I Like. Now Money, That’s What I Want. I apologize for all the musical references, hell I’m still paying for Spotify. Yesterday though after getting my kid’s vitamins and treats, I couldn’t resist McDonald’s. Add my desire for fast food to that of boobs. Oh you know we’re going to get into that today and tomorrow. If you need something more wholesome though, there’s my firstborn. I sat outside the other day while he played because there were too many kids around. I was almost the old man yelling get off my lawn; time Echo.

In my mirror, I see it every day; my face is growing gray. Do I want to tell you how old I am? You know I nearly forgot about “The Day.” I should have put it in my Six Impossible Things. There are no plans for surviving one more when I should have been dead years ago. Now I’m not suicidal, but I am horny as Hell. Talk about get off my lawn; it’s a struggle resisting the call. Meaning hand in my pants; NO FAP sucks, and yesterday and even now is crazy. These past dark days have been all about sex work. Isn’t that the dream job and I won’t apologize for that. Since I couldn’t stocks and bonds, I’ve been studying up on the business. If not research then I’m still reading Beautiful Tears, I’m still ahead some. I want to write erotica, but again you know my vision extends far beyond.

Sean Weathers, for example, I don’t know what I felt when I discovered him. Whitney Wright who is also a favorite is moving behind the camera some. I’m sorry it’s taking so long; so much yelling Get Off Will’s Lawn.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 064 ~So What’s Poppin’ Will~

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Snap, Crackle, and Pop, I’m not one for Rice Krispies, though I do like the treats, I’m one for quiet unless I’m working on something I love and no I hate my current day job but one day life will be Poppin’. So What’s Poppin’ Will

Tuesday, September 3, 2019

Log 064 ~So What’s Poppin’ Will~

Dear Future Wife,
I AM a Millionaire right now, but way back then it was popcorn. Strange that when I went to the movies alone, I never bought it a whole lot. Sometimes I got it for “free” with all my Regal movie points. “THEY,” say that the movies are never a good first date option. You want to know a person, look at how they react to specific films. Is that why I’m talking to you today, Tuesday is our usual. Well, surprise though I don’t mainly take to them. Unless you were talking about a surprise party or new addition, four legs, two?

I don’t pop up for most horror movies. If you want to know what scares me; what pops up in my selections. You might be the second woman in my life that hasn’t run away. Of course, you could deal with Star Wars, Young Adult adaptations, zombies. Then there’s the business and my love for B movies some Sci-Fi. I have two words for you; um nevermind. What about what you find on the bookshelf? Yeah, I had to build a library for us. I will always remain that father who reads to his kids. Again though the business, how I started out writing. If my hands aren’t on the keys or the pen, then what about my snacking habits. I’m like Morgan from TWD and FTWD; I don’t die. You know I eat healthy like Braves Peanuts. Still, I have lived off popcorn at home and sour gummies. There’s the occasional chocolate when my firstborn is with his siblings.

From pops, you might not like to mine. Fireworks for example and I don’t know why. Even before my firstborn; July 4th while respected is not a favorite. Any other night I want to look at the stars with you. I’ll look for aliens but you the fireworks for V For Vendetta. Of course, I’m a Pop Culture “enthusiast” but Are You The One on MTV, please. Reality TV short of wrestling. Yeah, remind me to record them. Now Game of Thrones and The Handmaid’s Tale, wow. Perhaps this will be another surprising moment. I want to go to the coast, but I can’t swim. Other than a hot shower or bath, water is not for me. Still, even at my age everything I am snap, crackles and pops for you, So What’s Poppin’ Will.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 063 ~Winning Isn’t Fighting Our Hate~

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I’m against the NRA, but for background checks; military spending is crazy, but I wouldn’t mind building an armory; not one for Jesus, yet the dead will walk the Earth one day. Winning Isn’t Fighting Our Hate but waiting to see what we love the most.

Monday, September 2, 2019

Log 063 ~Winning Isn’t Fighting Our Hate~

One-Hundredth Rule Madam Justice

I AM a Millionaire right now, and that’s good because I need plenty of weapons. It’s in the life goals list to build an armory. Indiana Gone would tell you I’m a true believer in the coming zombie apocalypse. Do you think I’ll have time to “define” all my rules before then? Hell Madam Justice what about counting up all my blessings? Seeing as how I’m on Writing Reason 343 I’ll need a new list soon. If I counted up everything I hate, I would never stop. What about everything that tempts me. Today’s spanky is quite small, Jessica Nigri and Katelyn Nacon, blonde, brunette.

Now some might ask me why I mention black women rarely, if at all. It’s the white women who are creeped out the fastest and block me fast, I have seen. I love my mom, and my sister is alright. One day I’ll go all into it, but in truth, black women exhaust me Madam Justice. All women can tire a man, but first, there are those that I chase. Some get me high but require a week or so of rehab. Some to be sure will look for a fight. Finally, the last of them make me run. Tell me which is worse hate or indifference? At the moment, ironically, I hate indifference. Take for example, the NO FAP Challenge. Fighting against my nature sucks but ignoring it daily. You wonder why I am so exhausted. How do “THEY” say hurry up and wait.

Sounds like an erotica novel, waiting for Brandt and Harper to fall in love. Speaking of love, isn’t that me and writing. Writing, Women, and Wealth; I wrote a whole thing yesterday trying to get women naked with wealth. For those of you keeping score $1,029.70 and that’s not counting the bank. Doesn’t sound like one million? A couple thousand more there, and a few thousand more on my RD investment. One of the reasons I’m not afraid of poverty or plan to make money on tits. Sorry to sound crass but being horny can be a bitch (LANGUAGE). Let me talk about something I hate. There’s Failure, Anxiety, Terror, Hate, Error, Revulsion. Again if you’re keeping track that spells FATHER, talk about ideas. Also, you have to excuse me for watching a bit of Divergent this morning Madam Justice.

You either embrace or ignore, Winning Isn’t Fighting Our Hate.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 062 ~Used To Know Will~

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Who said I didn’t have a plan for my dream; maybe Eric Thomas is right, I don’t have much of a grind, took me two days to get out of bed, and I’m so lucky the books I’m reading have been a bit short. “Used To Know Will,” and he worked hard.

Sunday, September 1, 2019

Log 062 ~Used To Know Will~

To Will:
I AM a Millionaire right now, and what about you, my friend? Are you still that boy sitting in the McDonald’s drive-thru? Tell me are you listening to your motivations, you know the one that asks the most pivotal question. Is it possible to be a millionaire in a year regardless of all your circumstances? Yeah, it’s my fault it took you two days to finally get out of bed to the dining room table. Dreams and temptations are nobody’s fault, I suppose. Last night it was twins.

A girl with a pink dress shirt and blonde hair. Another with a matching blue shirt, Carrie Cummings aka Eileen. There was also Eileen Kelly. Kelli Berglund as well drools reminds you of someone that you used to know. Don’t forget Jayme Langford either. You know, maybe it’s not who you used to know but someone you haven’t even met; the man you’re supposed to be. Well, look at yourself right this second. Three months ago, you would have your book published. Nevada was on the horizon, Alice Little and Ruby Rae. What about a first-class ticket to “Indiana Gone’s” wedding. Yesterday I talked about learning and here’s the repeated lesson, life is, well life. Positive vibes, my friend, but here’s some truth. There are stocks for drugs and weapons but none for pornography. Sin Stocks, you invest in condoms or the nudie bar Al. Will, before you forget our purpose here Six Impossible Things.

  1. I AM Keeping It In My Pants (Day 006 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
    Completed (Day 013 No Fap)
  2. I AM Always The “Father” B III Deserves
    Failed
  3. I AM Publishing My Poetry “GULP”
    Failed
  4. I AM Reviewing Raphael By Tillie Cole
    Failed
  5. I AM Answering “M Anime” As I Answer “Indiana Gone” And “Cherry”
    Completed
  6. I AM Finishing Reading Rules Of Bennett By Ember Michaels
    Completed
  1. I AM Keeping It In My Pants (Day 013 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
  2. I AM Always The “Father” B III Deserves
  3. I AM Publishing My Poetry “GULP”
  4. I AM Reviewing Raphael By Tillie Cole
  5. I AM Answering “M Anime” As I Answer “Indiana Gone” And “Cherry”
  6. I AM Finishing Beautiful Tears (Enemies To Lovers) C.P. Mandara

One more time half the list is complete. Now you shouldn’t forget CHD and RICK. Church & Dwight Co, RCI Hospitality Holdings respectively. You know that the path you have chosen won’t be easy street. That guy got a mom to strip, and if anything, that is an accomplishment. You know the man that wrote two books over the summer and hasn’t gotten close to editing. Let’s say you have a thousand dollars, how could you use that to forge your destiny? Funny last year you were the man all about tits and ass, now it’s dollars and cents. I did have the guts to talk to MILF Dos, but yeah I didn’t broach the main subject. Speaking of any real reason, you know what this week means don’t you?

The basic bitch (LANGUAGE) doesn’t even compare, so what’s your plan? In the words of TWD “JSS” Just Survive Somehow. Remember your JIC investment, man SIGH, Used To Know Will.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 061 ~Will To Learn Hmm~

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Advertising, Branding, Photography, when I was in high school I did try to learn French “the language of love” for obvious reasons, in college it was journalism, which explains my research skills, hell my mom’s a banker. “Will To Learn Hmm”

Saturday, August 31, 2019

Log 061 ~Will To Learn Hmm~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Millionaire right now or tomorrow? At least I woke up like one. Checking the Stock Exchange and waking up to someone cute. Of course, I have yet to invest. That someone cute is seven pounds of fluff, four legs, and I love him like pancakes. I said that in one year I would be a millionaire. So the question becomes, why aren’t I? Can I blame PCH? Hell should I be blaming my temptations, there’s been a few. Whatever happened to Shailene Woodley?

Speaking of things I’m learning, it’s all about money. Did I believe I would find the likes of Pure Taboo, Fetish Network, Reality Kings, Brazzers as stocks? For a second there, yeah I kind of did. I’ve found a few shares here or there but nothing that speaks to me Lady Lu. Think outside the box as THEY say. I found a company that does condoms. Talk about a business that will always be needed. I still have my submissive closet, so maybe I’ll look for something in Spicy Lingerie or the like. I continue to see the “broken” which isn’t very polite to say such things. It took everything within me not to make an offer to a young woman only yesterday. What about this morning? Yeah, I’m all sorts of terrified that a polite hello or an inquiry might cost me a friend.

I read somewhere that women don’t decide where to eat because of Adam and Eve. At the moment I get where Eve is coming from ha. Last time she did something somewhat “innocent” humanity was screwed. My firstborn still flinches as though I may hurt him. Am I that much of a monster? Will I ever learn to be good? It would start by putting some money up for treats and such. I’m too busy trying to treat myself or be a man. It would be something like Manhood training in Roots. No, my father taught me to fear both God and Man. God doesn’t bother me but trusting another human being? One more reason I like the path of sex and submission. Pain, Passion, and Power Lady Lu. To relish one, share the other, and be trusted with all indeed.

I don’t trust myself not to check my phone for an hour for news. How could I think to give my word to have a million? Will To Learn Hmm.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 060 ~Will’s Bookshelves And Coffins~

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Another day living life, not the life, I didn’t even read yesterday, and I woke up at 4 AM with all the lights blazing in the house; my firstborn was quite confused, but he knew daddy was sleepy the end. “Will’s Bookshelves And Coffins” a short story

Friday, August 30, 2019

Log 060 ~Will’s Bookshelves And Coffins~

Hey Lady Sophia,
I AM a Millionaire right now and full of more business ideas. It’s better than having any temptations today though I had a fantasy about MILF Dos. There was also my Lawler moment of “The Puppies, The Puppies.” Relax, “Cherry” had dogs but still, not a day goes by without boobs. As valuable as all the trees that are burning in the Amazon. I should probably get political but oxygen and suffocating boobage by the right girl; flip a coin. Not like there are many of those around here, all my spending.

I wish I could say it was all on books and I don’t regret Raphael by Tillie Cole. Shock and ah or Nah. Hell I gave it five stars and need to write a review. A good idea, I should do that now, but there are so many stories. Do I want to tell you a sad tale; not yet. I could tell you a weird one or a gross one. Raphael had a thing for girls with long hair and watching them sleep in coffins. I also have a jonesing for nuns, well after watching the movie Virgin Territory, now that’s the life, Sophia.

Beats being afraid all the time. I read Rules Of Bennett by Ember Michaels. Now I haven’t been so shocked since Deliverance For Amelia by Bonny Capps. To have a genuine bad guy get the girl, the key concept being unwilling. Have I read far too many HEAs? Don’t get me wrong Amelia got rescued by a bad boy turned good. The same might happen for Aurora. Still, I read these things that happen to young women and feel like Tony Montana. I’m the bad guy and not to sound like R. Kelly, but I’m a bad man, that’s true.

My life is nothing to write about, but here we are Lady Sophia. I worry about liking a girl’s picture or sending a sweet photo, song, or video because I’m wrong. I write out fantasies to two girls at the Moonlite Bunny Ranch. Now one thinks I’m crazy, and the other considers me a loser. I’m gross because I support specific movie producers. There are gaming communities (adult entertainment). In real life, I read about this kid murdering some girl because he didn’t understand rejection. Where does any particular word lead us I ask? Of course Will’s Bookshelves and Coffins.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 059 ~It’s Dirty Work Will~

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Somebody’s got to do it, so why not me; I write, I could make movies, and I’m still planning on meeting Dennis Hof’s people one day, not in September though, one more woman let down. It’s Dirty Work Will

Thursday, August 29, 2019

Log 059 ~It’s Dirty Work Will~

WARNING, 18+, READER DISCRETION ADVISED

Come In Dirty Diana,
I AM a Millionaire right now, but that wouldn’t matter today. Remember I thought I forgot something yesterday? Happy Self-Awareness Day from Skynet that set off Judgment Day, August 29th, 1997. However, I’m supposed to be talking about humans destroying themselves. Well, don’t we always (SIGH)?

Last night I had a dream that my mother was ashamed of me, well that’s nothing new. Anyway this time it was over my temptations. There’s Ayana Fujisawa from Cool Devices “Yellow Star” and Ashley Graham Resident Evil 4. There’s also the Isaku cast and Kelli Berglund. You want my perfect type; it would be Kelli and an Ahegao face. I can do so much worst but let’s not talk about girls on YouTube. How about Final Fantasy XIII Serah Farron? Anyone and anything to appeal to man’s nature. Am I better or worse than most?
My mom told me that I would find my way. I also want kids of my own (two-legged ones) someday. As far as women, I’ve thought of a girl so perfect I wouldn’t put her on camera; to share with anyone; my eyes only.

Still you know where my mind has been the past few days. I want to learn how to invest in the adult entertainment industry. Hell, I want to sell my stories I mean look at Tillie Cole, Skye Warren, Eric Vall, S. Wolf, Todd Michaels. I say it often enough, owning a brothel, a gentlemen’s club, a resort, studio, my network for everything. My adopted big sister told me, you can’t build a strip club next to a school. How can anyone call me dirty considering some of the businesses I’ve seen. Vault Girls in trouble, a fashion house gone crazy, and Europe, no comment. How about things like Brainbuddy, NO FAP, Covenant Eyes. Yeah, I don’t even trust “Indiana Gone” that much. I would never support Covenant Eyes. Who do I pay bills to every month again? Yeah, Brainbuddy.

Last night though I felt I owed an apology to my mom. Indeed to any of the women in my life. I don’t talk to “Okay” anymore. To shook up to offer MILF Dos another deal. I go on and on about Cherry’s boobs” Have I ever written a book without some girl I wanted to fuck at some point? I’m addicted to the paper. Somebody’s got to do it right. It’s Dirty Work Will.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 058 ~That’s A No-Go Will~

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The Lone Wanderer, the Sole survivor, I’ve never played a Fallout game, and I could get Fallout 4 tomorrow, but you know where I would have to go; what I could get it from Walmart for free but I’m never free of anxiety. That’s A No-Go Will.

Wednesday, August 28, 2019

Log 058 ~That’s A No-Go Will~

Forgive Me Echo,
I AM A Millionaire right now, and I feel like I forgot something. I first thought it had something to do with the “Basic Bitch” (LANGUAGE). Sometimes I’m having a “decent” day, and she springs to mind dammit. Same thing with the “Rainbow Girl.” Lesson learned; if a girl quotes Ariana Grande lyrics, she means anyone but you. Hell, she’s only quoting, but you know how I communicate with songs. Speaking of which, Zelina Vega, Dulce Soltero. She who will remain nameless and Angie Varona as well.

I swear, today was touch and go, like a junkie needing a fix. Until this afternoon, I was okay then one curl of brunette hair, and I’m back on Pinterest. That’s what today is about the places I can’t go like around my, nevermind. Before Wednesday was Compilation Day, it was Motherless Freebies. Yes, I haven’t forgotten that but I also never go to the Basic Bitch’s blog either. You know it almost killed me what I read. I’m a writer praying no one reads. It’s working in retail and hoping for zero customers. More as an adult, I realize the internet is a scary place. A few minutes ago, I got a text from someone, and you don’t know the fear that coursed through my heart. If anything, I am still a slave to my phone. Yesterday I forgot my password in one letter and went nuts; I’ll stop.

Well at least that’s what I tell myself, but it’s like shopping at Walmart. I can’t shop at Target because they fired me in two months. When I think about Walmart, though, my head still hurts. It’s my version of self-harm; I get stressed and I “accidentally” hurt myself. Suicidal; not today but not healthy. Today I popped myself in the jaw with a box, put my fist in a locker, smashed a few fingers. While walking my Firstborn, I got bit by a few bugs. Finding anything to stick to NO FAP, don’t walk and watch TWD Reactions. Should I name some more common No-Go’s Inspector Echo? The restroom at the Day Job. There’s the library because I scare Blondie librarian and I could have got hacked. Of course, I never visit My Olds; that’s STUPID. Now if we’re going with age, the former haunted houses, and other places.

Forgive me, Inspector Echo, for living in a “FEAR” country, But That’s A No-Go Will.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 057 ~Will You Remember Me~

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From hot to wet, well yeah the heat is still getting to people, but now it’s raining that seems right at the moment, like I forgot something sad, but that’s tomorrows problem isn’t it? Will You Remember Me for something right

Tuesday, August 27, 2019

Log 057 ~Will You Remember Me~

Dear Future Wife,
I AM a Millionaire right now, but not afraid of forgetting our anniversary. How many times and dates do I keep on my phone but today seems kismet. Like the day I met you. Here I am with a good idea, and I realize I wrote it before. Episode 058 The Time Traveler’s Will. Yeah that was on the 28th of last year. Where does the time go and you know there are things I rather forget. That’s one of the concepts I love about, well love. I heard in a movie once that “love can’t tell time,” “what’s my age again”

Of course this week and the next that question gets to me a lot. Hell, yesterday I was looking at my firstborn, growing a beard or all his little beige hairs turning grey. He still thinks he’s a puppy and what about me with the baby talk. Well then you have my taste in music of course and do you remember the first song we danced to? What about our wedding. Fifty Shades Freed Playlist, Levitate, Kiss From A Rose? How do I go from feeling like an old man to a little kid in seconds? From calling, you baby girl, to baby doll, to beautiful, and do I have any William Shakespeare left ha. All the time in the world for us, This Love. You know I say it all the time, Saturday mornings lying here with you my atom bomb baby. I’m not in my 40’s or 50’s yet, or so I hope.

Of everything I have done in life, I want to be remembered as that guy in the hood. You know what I mean, my hoodies, yeah when we met I was a man of the suburbs. I only want you to remember how I put my arm around you. Dare I say it, I let you wear one of my hoodies. When you hear a particular song or watch a movie you’ll remember something of mine. I don’t mean to sound so macabre. How many books do I have that sound like that? Yesterday I was reading “Rules Of Bennett” and saw that such true love still exist. I see it every day with us, but I want to see it for many more days to come. Always to call you My Love without worrying about Will You Remember Me.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 056 ~We Save What We Love~

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Rose’s sister gave her life to save the Resistance, “Sister Maria” was almost died to fulfill Raphael’s dream, FYI that doesn’t work on real women, a redhead told me no to my fantasy, one more thing saved online and in my head. “We Save What We Love”

Monday, August 26, 2019

Log 056 ~We Save What We Love~

Ninety-Ninth Rule Madam Justice

I AM a Millionaire right now, and you know I’m trying to save money. I love sleep, I love my kid. Should I say my phone and Facebook too? What about women, no real temptation today. Well, Sesskasays aka Jessica and Katie o’shaughnessy. Of course this is because Fear The Walking Dead last night. There is a place in my heart for brunettes. Still, I blame Jessica, Willow, and Ellie for my redhead fetish. Tattoos aren’t my thing ahem MILF Dos, but her and Katie, talk about dedication or love.

I’m going to get a few of my own someday. Tattoos I mean, one for my son and one for every book I publish. Again saving what we love, my writing, and the reason we have our daily conversation. Day 786 in truth. Not that it matters, but I saw this is my 1,002 blogpost. If saving something means you love it, poor me indeed. How about I chalk up everything to saving my black ass (LANGUAGE). Sounds a bit selfish right? I want to save the Earth because I still have to live in it Madam Justice. I want to play the hero to the damsels because I have nothing but respect for women. Okay, in my own way. Is that why I prefer the role of a villain? I live in dystopias, in endings because there is so much less. A real thing you know, exhaustion trying to be the one who can.

Why not at the question as the song goes What Is Love? I finished Raphael by Tillie Cole Saturday, and there’s this quote that got me thinking. “Sin Is Simply Due To The Absence Of Love.” With that being said, do I hate myself or to quote another song, is this love? Seeing as how I’m on a roll with songs and quotes, “fear is the heart of love.” Above all else I understand this Madam Justice. I spent a whole decade saving my heart to the page and where are those sheets now? Trash cans, police records, and books still not getting published. If I keep going at this rate about love and such I fear I won’t stop. Basics, I stole the line from Last Jedi? I don’t fall in love anymore, but lust and that doesn’t mean I don’t care, I’m saying.

Wish I had Sister Maria, We Save What We Love.

I Will Have No Fear